Do I Hear $1?

  • 2 days ago

Category

People
Transcript
00:00We're on Game Changer.
00:02Tonight's guests, still with a Sophia tattoo on their neck,
00:05it's Allie Beardsley.
00:08Having bought back most of the items in his apartment,
00:12it's Grant O'Brien.
00:15And someone new to Totally Forgives,
00:18it's Raphael Chesting.
00:21And your host, me.
00:24I've been here the whole time.
00:26This is Game Changer,
00:28the only game show where the game changes every show.
00:31I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:32I'm joined today by these three lovely contestants.
00:35Now, you all understand how the game works.
00:38No. Absolutely not.
00:39Not even a little bit. I'm very scared.
00:41Our players have no idea what game it is
00:43they're about to play.
00:44The only way to learn is by playing.
00:46The only way to win is by learning.
00:47And the only way to begin is by beginning.
00:49So without further ado, let's...
00:55begin.
00:55Ash, if you...
00:56That was a lot of ideas.
00:58That was a whole bunch of ideas.
00:59I'll let you know when it's too much of business.
01:02Ash, if you could please bring out the safe.
01:07Okay.
01:11Oh, boy.
01:15There's a gun with one bullet inside.
01:19That's the game.
01:21In this safe, I have an undisclosed amount of money.
01:28Starting with you, Allie.
01:30Okay.
01:31You and I are gonna try to make a deal.
01:32Okay. Let's see how we do.
01:33Would you let us pluck a single nose hair?
01:38If you can find one.
01:42That nose is clean as a whistle.
01:43Yes. Yeah.
01:46How much?
01:47Oh, I give you a number.
01:49Oh, man. Huh.
01:50Okay.
01:52$50.
01:53$50?
01:55Allie, I don't know.
01:56That's a little rich for my blood.
01:58Grant.
01:59Huh?
02:00What?
02:01Can you do any better?
02:03Oh, this sucks.
02:04This is a race to the bottom.
02:05Oh, this is insane.
02:06Oh.
02:07Sam.
02:11All right.
02:11Sure.
02:14$25.
02:15A 50% discount?
02:17Wow.
02:18It's a nose hair.
02:19It's a nose hair.
02:20$49 is the answer you give for not being a scab.
02:23Straight up.
02:26Cut in half.
02:28Do I hear better than 25?
02:30Oh, for me?
02:33Is it a final offer?
02:34No.
02:35Better than 25?
02:36Better for who?
02:37You don't have to.
02:38I don't have to?
02:39Absolutely not.
02:40It's up to you, Raph.
02:41The question is, is the value
02:43of my nose hair.
02:44Of your nose hair to you worth any less than $25?
02:49I guess I'll just say 20.
02:50$20.
02:52Do I hear less from either of you?
02:54$19.
02:59That's lunch.
03:00That's lunch and a cup of coffee.
03:01$15.
03:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:07$15.
03:08$15.
03:09The game is afoot.
03:11$14.
03:12Oh, you guys are in your own competition.
03:14$14, going once.
03:16I don't think I'd go.
03:16Remember, it really hurts.
03:17It really hurts.
03:18Going twice.
03:19$13.
03:20$13, going once.
03:22Going twice.
03:24Ally.
03:25Try to find an Irish hair in my nose.
03:29You want to come over here?
03:31I feel like this is going to be real tricky.
03:32You're looking for a ghost.
03:34This is really kinky.
03:36Someone's saying.
03:37You absolutely have my consent.
03:39Oh, good Lord.
03:40Oh, yeah.
03:42These are tiny.
03:42Oh, God.
03:43Uh-oh.
03:44Oh, no.
03:47Oh, no.
03:52Okay.
03:54Ally, I feel so close to you.
03:55I can't believe this is what we're going to do today.
03:57I hate capitalism, but I also hate losing.
04:00Grant.
04:01Sam.
04:02I'm first to talk to you.
04:02Hi.
04:03Make out with your hand passionately for 10 seconds.
04:11Try and stop it.
04:11$1,000.
04:14Raph, can you do any better than $1,000?
04:18I'll say $100.
04:20Ally.
04:21$5.
04:24Ally.
04:25No.
04:25Ally.
04:26I hate that.
04:27$5.
04:28$4.
04:29I'm trying to win, baby.
04:30I'm trying to win.
04:31So much promise.
04:32Dammit.
04:33Do I hear better than Grant's $4?
04:36Going once.
04:37$3.50.
04:38No.
04:39What?
04:40Sam.
04:41I have no change.
04:44Going once, going twice.
04:46Sold to Grant.
04:48On your mark.
04:49Don't start the clock yet.
04:49Okay.
04:51I know this bar is crazy.
04:56Actually, no pressure,
04:58but my place is right around the corner
04:59if you want to come over for one more drink.
05:00Awesome.
05:01Yeah, I think that'd be fine.
05:04Good.
05:06Start the clock.
05:07Start the clock.
05:08Please.
05:09$4.
05:10Darn it.
05:11Oh, God.
05:12$5.
05:13$6.
05:14$7.
05:16$8.
05:18$9.
05:19$10.
05:20Some of that was the risk,
05:22but I'll count it.
05:22Oh, God.
05:23It was the neck.
05:24It's very important to hit all the zones, Sam.
05:25Oh, God.
05:26My gag reflexes.
05:27For example, my ears are very sensitive,
05:28so when someone like tucks or nibbles my ears,
05:31ah, through the moon.
05:32I wish I had charged more for this.
05:35Raph.
05:35Yeah.
05:36Would you eat a Post-it note?
05:37Oh, there it is.
05:40There's glue on that.
05:41Oh, you can eat glue.
05:43A little.
05:44There's probably glue on your hand.
05:48Let's see here.
05:48I'd do it for,
05:49let's say, $10.
05:53Raph, you guys,
05:55you guys,
05:56we could do better than this.
05:59Are you gonna beat that?
06:00$9.
06:01I've accidentally eaten a Post-it note.
06:02$9.
06:03No.
06:04It was on my sandwich.
06:06Sorry, Allie, say that again.
06:07Nothing.
06:09Grant, I think I got a $9.
06:10$9.
06:11$8.
06:13Allie, I like your style.
06:17I'm out.
06:17He's out.
06:18Can you do any better than $8?
06:20Going once.
06:22Going twice.
06:24Sold.
06:25Oh, God.
06:27I wrote $8.
06:28Oh, no.
06:30I can't do it for $7.
06:30Thank you so much.
06:33Now, before they get the points,
06:34Allie has to eat this whole Post-it note.
06:37So, Allie, what's the strategy?
06:40Ripping.
06:41Little bits at a time.
06:42Yeah, that's what I do.
06:43Allie.
06:44I'm pretending it's cheese.
06:47Put the whole thing in there and soak it.
06:49Soak it in your spit.
06:50You don't know how wet my mouth is.
06:52You don't know anything about me.
06:56Oh, no.
06:58It tastes like Staples, the store.
07:02Yeah, we've got that.
07:04Sam, I'd like to go back in time
07:07to the pilot of Total Forgiveness
07:10on which you said,
07:11it puts me in an awkward position to be your torturer.
07:14Yes, it does.
07:15It's very awkward for me.
07:16I'm sure.
07:17That is $8 for Allie, bringing them to 21.
07:21Good golly.
07:22Allie, I'm back with you.
07:23Although, as we now know,
07:25this is anyone's game.
07:26Like an ex's last 25 pictures on Instagram.
07:33$5,000.
07:35We just went from zero to 100.
07:38$5,000.
07:39I'll do it for 1,000.
07:41What?
07:42Okay, wait.
07:44An ex, is this like two weird dates?
07:46Actually, I guess that's worse.
07:48I'm just kidding.
07:49Imagine, what if it's like,
07:51and my mom's in the hospital.
07:53Like, you don't know what's in those last 25.
07:55$999.
07:57$999.
07:59800.
08:00$800.
08:01$799.
08:02$799 from Grant.
08:04$685.
08:05$685.
08:07$684.
08:08$684.
08:09$683.
08:10$500.
08:11$500 from Grant.
08:14$299.
08:15$299.
08:18$250.
08:19$250.
08:21No, wait, wait.
08:23Raph, you have to bid.
08:24Going once.
08:25No, Raph, you have to bid.
08:27What?
08:28$200.
08:29$200 from Raph.
08:31You could not pay me to do this.
08:33I'm gonna cry.
08:36You wanna meet me?
08:37It'll be fine.
08:38Okay, great.
08:41That's already done.
08:42Three, four, five.
08:43What did we do on total forgiveness for $250?
08:46That was $200.
08:48Eight, nine.
08:50That's nothing.
08:51We didn't do anything.
08:5311.
08:53Oh, God.
08:5412, 13, 14, 15, 16.
08:59Raph, do you know if she's single?
09:0017, 18.
09:01Great.
09:03Curious.
09:0419, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25.
09:11Oh, Christ.
09:12When was the last photo from?
09:14Oh, that's a great question.
09:15The last photo is from?
09:17December.
09:18December 12th, 2018.
09:20Oh, my God.
09:22Oh, my God.
09:24Oh, this is horrifying.
09:25You're winning.
09:26Is this what winning feels like, Allie?
09:29Grant O'Brien.
09:30Sam Reich.
09:30Would you drink toilet water with a straw?
09:34Let's make clear here an expectation.
09:36I want a gurgle and a swallow.
09:40$20,000.
09:4120,000?
09:42I mean, honestly.
09:48I'll say $750.
09:50$750.
09:52$700.
09:53$700 from Grant O'Brien.
09:55Do we hear any better?
09:56$650.
09:57$650.
10:00$600.
10:01Oh, my God.
10:02$600.
10:03Going once.
10:04$550, $550.
10:05$550 from Raph.
10:07Going once.
10:09Going twice.
10:10$500.
10:11What the fuck?
10:12$500 from Grant O'Brien.
10:15$450.
10:16$450.
10:20Going once.
10:21Whatever, I'm on prep.
10:22$400.
10:24$400 from Grant.
10:27Going once.
10:28Going twice.
10:29Everybody should get on prep.
10:31Sold to Grant O'Brien.
10:34Grant, let's take a look.
10:35Okay, so the only way
10:36that I can retain some power in this.
10:39No.
10:41Is to make it a perv thing.
10:42Sure.
10:44That makes it so much worse.
10:45You wanna watch this?
10:46Oh, no.
10:47You wanna watch this?
10:48I'm the judge.
10:49Oh, my God.
10:50Oh, you're a little pig, aren't you?
10:51Watching this?
10:52Watching this at home, on your laptop?
10:56That was for how much money?
10:58Honestly, this is gonna be a problem.
11:00I don't know, that would be very funny.
11:02Can you imagine?
11:03Sort of smug out of here.
11:05Yeah, you little, you little pervs.
11:08Yeah, you like this?
11:09This is what you're into?
11:11I'm supposed to watch, I don't know if I can.
11:13Sam, you wanna see this?
11:16Oh, God.
11:16You wanna see me drink out of this toilet?
11:18Oh, God.
11:19You pervs.
11:20No.
11:21Just touch the side of the toilet.
11:23Just touch the side of the toilet.
11:26Oh, God.
11:27Oh, God.
11:28Oh, God.
11:29Oh, God.
11:29Oh, God.
11:30Oh, God.
11:31Oh, God.
11:32Oh, God.
11:33Oh, God.
11:35You little pervs.
11:36Nice job, my friend, nice job.
11:41That was fun to watch.
11:42I'll be honest.
11:43Put $400 on my board.
11:45Well, $404, I believe.
11:47That's right.
11:47Good sir.
11:49Do not do that at home.
11:51I think I need to sit quietly for a minute.
11:53I need to think about some things.
11:54Yeah.
11:55Raph?
11:56Yes?
11:57Can I get you to ask the first stranger
11:59you see out on the street out on a date?
12:01Sam.
12:02Honestly, we have someone here who would ever.
12:05He's going to do that anyway.
12:07What you're saying is we have a specialist at this.
12:11Why would we give the job to a novice?
12:14Exactly.
12:15Which is fair.
12:16I'd put this at $1,000.
12:17I would do it for $1,000.
12:19Grant and Allie, do I hear any better?
12:22$900.
12:23$850.
12:24$800.
12:25Depending on who the person is.
12:27Well, it's the first person you see out on the street, $800.
12:30$700.
12:31$600.
12:32$500.
12:33Okay, Grant just wants to do this.
12:35So no matter what we say, he's going to take it.
12:38And I'm okay with that.
12:39$450.
12:40Don't vote against yourself.
12:42$400.
12:43What the hell is happening, Grant?
12:45You were at $500.
12:46I believe you said $400.
12:47What's that?
12:48$399.
12:49$399.
12:50$350.
12:51What?
12:52Don't let him get $500 for that.
12:54$325.
12:55$325.
12:56$310.
12:57$309.
12:58$300.
12:59$300.
13:01$300.
13:02$399.
13:03$399 for Grant going once.
13:05This is so stupid.
13:07Going twice.
13:08Sold to Grant O'Brien for $299.
13:11Yeah, go.
13:12Let's take another walk, shall we?
13:13Go breathe your toilet water in a stranger's face.
13:16Honestly, I would like to watch.
13:26Hello.
13:27I'm very sorry.
13:29This is very startling.
13:32My name is Grant.
13:33I work right inside this building here.
13:37You're under absolutely no obligation to say yes.
13:42If you'd like to have a glass of wine with me sometime this week or next,
13:47I'd have a very good time.
13:48It would be a date.
13:52I'm so sorry.
13:53These are friends of mine.
13:56I'm so sorry.
13:59What's your name?
14:00Eleanor.
14:01Eleanor, I'm Grant.
14:02Hello.
14:03Hi.
14:04Hello.
14:05My ride's here.
14:06Understood.
14:07No problem.
14:08Have a wonderful rest of your day.
14:10Thank you very much for, thank you, thank you.
14:14All right.
14:15Grant, I really thought you had better game than that.
14:19Well, all of a sudden, so all of a sudden I realized, so I do.
14:23Okay, look.
14:24Okay, I have better game than that.
14:25But you try, you try at home being swarmed by people with cameras.
14:30Yes.
14:31We're now officially in the back half of the episode.
14:33Ash, could you come open the safe?
14:38So far we have given out close to $1,000.
14:42So you know, as we enter into the back half of this episode,
14:45there are $10,000 in this safe.
14:48Oh, wow.
14:50Oh, my God.
14:52What?
14:53I drank out of a toilet for $400 and there were $10,000 on the table?
14:58Wow.
14:59The negotiation is going to become a touch more complex
15:04because I am now negotiating not only for how much you will do it for,
15:10but also what you'll do.
15:12Here's how this is going to work.
15:13Share with me a photo from your phone.
15:16Okay.
15:17I'll decide which of your photos I think is the juiciest to share with the world.
15:21Sir.
15:24For an amount of money that you and I negotiate.
15:26It's got to be something you're willing to share with me,
15:28but just because you'll share it with me doesn't mean we're going to share it with the world.
15:30Wow.
15:31I'll give you each a moment to identify a photo
15:35that you think would be fun to include as a part of this bid.
15:38Well, just here.
15:40Do you want to come show me something?
15:41Sure.
15:46This is very promising, Grant.
15:48This is very promising.
15:50Okay.
15:51$8,000.
15:52Excuse me.
15:53Uh-huh.
15:54I have a photo that is actually more embarrassing than India.
15:58Great.
15:59Okay.
16:07This is so bad.
16:09Incredible.
16:11Do you have a number, Allie?
16:12$4,000.
16:13$4,000?
16:15You know who's going to watch this show?
16:16Everyone involved in this photo.
16:18Christ.
16:22Okay, so this, I mean, this, I have this.
16:26Yep.
16:27I have this.
16:29That's better.
16:30Do you have a number, Raf?
16:31I like photo two the most.
16:32Let's say, well, $2,000.
16:35Grant, I'll be honest with you.
16:37That's too expensive.
16:38Okay.
16:39Allie, I really like your offer.
16:42$4,000 is a gigantic chunk of that change.
16:46Would you be willing to come down?
16:48Yeah, what if I said $2,500 and I tell the story?
16:52It goes to Allie for $2,500.
16:54Yes!
16:55Wow.
16:56Yes, yes.
16:57Wow.
16:58Allie.
16:59Okay, so I got top surgery and I made a soup list.
17:03And all my friends signed up to bring me soup.
17:06And it was very nice.
17:07And every one of the writers came and brought me soup.
17:10But it ended up being too much soup.
17:13So I put some of the soup in the freezer.
17:15And then I had to move.
17:17And it's crazy to move with soup.
17:19So I had to throw a ton of it out.
17:21Allie!
17:22And this is like nine people's worth of homemade soup
17:26in my trash can.
17:28That's $2,500 for Allie.
17:32I am so sorry.
17:33That is so funny.
17:34And you know what?
17:35Friendship really carries you through a scary time.
17:38And I really appreciate it, guys.
17:40Players, take a deep breath with me.
17:44What would you do with a pie?
17:50I mean, we all know Grant's answer.
17:54Sam, I'd fuck that pie.
17:55You'd fuck that pie?
17:57$6,000.
17:58Man, that's a big chunk of my remaining change.
18:00This is just like cream.
18:01It's a cream pie.
18:02I'll make it a wig and wear it for the rest of the show.
18:05Ooh, that's pretty tempting.
18:07And how much would you do that for, Raph?
18:09I'd do it for $4,000.
18:10$4,000 is too much money for that.
18:11I might make you a counter.
18:12Do you want to participate in this, Allie?
18:13I would take a video of myself saying,
18:16make America great again.
18:18And then throw it in my own face and post it.
18:21Post it now?
18:23Yeah.
18:24That's incredible.
18:25Allie, for what amount of money?
18:26For $4,000.
18:27$4,000?
18:29$4,000?
18:31I will offer you $1,000 to do that.
18:34No, half of my family is going to go, finally.
18:38I'll do it for $1,000.
18:39You'll do that for $1,000?
18:41$800.
18:42You'll do that for $800?
18:43What?
18:44Going once.
18:45Going twice.
18:46Oh, my God.
18:48No.
18:49Salt.
18:50God damn it.
18:51Salt.
18:52That should be $1,800.
18:54Salt to Raph.
18:55Raph, let's get you on the floor.
18:56I feel high right now.
18:58OK, Raph, you're going to dip and then say to camera,
19:02make America great again.
19:033, 2, 1, and go.
19:07Make America great again.
19:09Make America great again.
19:11Really well done, Raph.
19:13You look like Mrs. Doubtfire.
19:15And we're back, Raph.
19:16I believe as a part of that, you were supposed to post it.
19:20Yeah.
19:21Did you just?
19:22Yeah.
19:23Oh, great.
19:24Oh, great.
19:26That brings you to $1,000.
19:28Grant, you have $703.
19:31Allie, $2,521.
19:33Wow.
19:34What would you all do with an electric razor?
19:38I will take whatever the best offer seems to me to be.
19:43I'd shave my head for $6,000.
19:45Excuse me, Bob.
19:46Not a penny less.
19:48I don't have $6,000.
19:49If my math is correct, I have between $5,000 and $6,000 left.
19:54For $4,000, I'll shave off some of my pubes and eat them.
20:02Excuse me.
20:03I mean, I think you would.
20:04Excuse me.
20:05Oh, like none of you have ever had pubes in your mouth.
20:07Fucking virgins.
20:08You virgins.
20:09You bunch of virgins.
20:10Yeah, but not my own.
20:12And not in your stomach.
20:13They might go in your mouth, but not in your digestive tract.
20:16Hey, melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
20:19I don't know what that means.
20:20What?
20:21$4,000.
20:22$4,000.
20:23Yeah.
20:24I'll shave my beard for $800.
20:26Really?
20:27Really?
20:28We don't normally see Raph without a beard.
20:29That's kind of interesting.
20:30I don't know if I ever have.
20:31It'll be weird.
20:34Allie, let's talk.
20:36Can I say something?
20:37Yes.
20:38When you do something to Allie's hair for money, they look cool.
20:42Everyone thinks they look cool.
20:46So just, you know.
20:47Just FYI.
20:48Keep in mind.
20:49Let's talk about what we could do for $2,500.
20:55A patch of land could be yours to shave.
20:58Whoa.
20:59A patch of land.
21:00Not here.
21:01Not there.
21:02Preferably not here.
21:03Not there.
21:05Like a patch of land back here?
21:08What about the full ring around the Rosie?
21:11You know what I'm saying?
21:12Yeah.
21:13Okay.
21:14Whoa.
21:15Okay.
21:16$2,500 to shave the back of your head.
21:18Uh-huh.
21:19Going once.
21:20Is anyone else trying to?
21:21Going twice.
21:22I'll shave my bush for $1,000.
21:23Sold to Allie.
21:26Allie, if you can take a seat here in our barber chair.
21:31I can't believe.
21:33Okay.
21:34This is happening.
21:35Hello.
21:36The wonderful Chloe, who has some experience with a razor.
21:40Hello.
21:41Oh, great.
21:42Is going to do this for you, since it would be difficult to do on your own.
21:47Okay.
21:48How many goddamn times are we going to do something to Allie's head?
21:51Allie.
21:52Yeah, yeah.
21:53Here's good.
21:54Here back.
21:55Oh, my goodness.
21:56That's so much hair.
21:57Wait.
21:58We have to think of something here.
21:59Do you know how this is going to look?
22:01Yeah, yeah.
22:02Ready?
22:03Yeah.
22:04Oh, my God.
22:07Allie.
22:08Oh, no.
22:09Oh, no.
22:11Great.
22:12You're making it worse.
22:13Oh, it's not good.
22:15It's good.
22:16It's good.
22:17Oh, wow.
22:22That feels like I'm wearing a wig now.
22:25Oh, that's crazy.
22:27Thank you so much.
22:30There are three-ish thousand dollars left in this safe.
22:36What would you do with live crickets?
22:42Fuck.
22:43Oh.
22:44How about this?
22:45There's three of us and $3,000.
22:47I don't like what's happening here.
22:48Oh.
22:49If we agree to say, like, I'll wave at the crickets.
22:51Right.
22:52Like $3,000.
22:53Sure.
22:54Nobody.
22:55Wait, wait, wait.
22:56What with the crickets?
22:57Wave.
22:58Excuse me.
22:59Yeah, yeah.
23:00Excuse me.
23:01You know what?
23:02All I'll do is wave.
23:03Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
23:04And I won't do that.
23:05I'll eat the crickets for $10.
23:07No, no, no.
23:09This is the prisoner's dilemma.
23:11I'm not sure I like what's happening here.
23:12I'm not sure I like the coordination.
23:14Let me make sure I understand this right.
23:16There are $3,000 or more on the line.
23:19There are three of you.
23:21One of you just needs to tell me that you will do something crazy here for me to like
23:26your bid enough to go with it.
23:28No.
23:33Congratulations, players.
23:34You've unionized.
23:36You have broken my game.
23:38And thusly, you split the remaining pots.
23:41That's it for us here at Game Changer.
23:44Before we leave, I expect all of you to wave at these crickets.
23:48Goodbye, crickets.
23:49Goodbye, crickets.
23:50Bye, crickets.
23:51I'm Sam Reich reminding you that when it comes to entertainment, you get what you pay for.
23:56Good night.
23:57So this was to get us to unionize the whole time?