Round 4
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00Get ready for a game-changer.
00:02Tonight's guests, strutting it like he owns the place,
00:06it's Josh Rubin.
00:08I own the place.
00:09And worried he's going to break something in a museum,
00:12it's Zach Oyama.
00:15Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:18And two kids in a trench coat, it's Brennan Lee Mulligan.
00:24And your host, me.
00:26I've been here the whole time.
00:29Welcome to Game Changer, the only game show
00:33where the game changes every show.
00:35I'm your host, Sam Reich.
00:36I'm joined today by these three lovely contestants.
00:38Now, you all understand how the game works.
00:41No.
00:42Not this specific one.
00:44That's right.
00:45Our players have no idea what game it is
00:47they're about to play.
00:48The only way to learn is by playing.
00:51The only way to win is by learning.
00:52And the only way to begin is by beginning.
00:54So without further ado, let's move on to round four.
00:59At the break, Josh had 13 points,
01:03Zach 11, and Brennan 14.
01:06We're still doing it?
01:07Oh.
01:08Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:09Josh.
01:10Huh?
01:11Your sound is a dial-up modem.
01:14No problem.
01:15So.
01:18Blah blah blah blah blah blah.
01:20Eee!
01:22Ah!
01:23Ah!
01:24Ah!
01:25Ah!
01:26Ah!
01:26Ah!
01:27Ah!
01:28You've got mail!
01:29Ha!
01:30I'll, I'll give you a point for that, Josh.
01:32Oh, good.
01:34I think that's just about as well as any of us
01:35can remember that.
01:36Making him tied with Brennan.
01:39Zach, making small talk with a dentist
01:42while they work on you.
01:45I was in class with his younger brother.
02:00That's a point sack for sure, bringing you to 12.
02:08Brennan, a tiny pirate shipwreck.
02:11That's a point for Brennan.
02:30If I could, I would spend my life doing nothing but this.
02:34I found like my heaven and it's here with you three.
02:40Josh, a trip down a water slide goes terribly wrong.
02:44Okay.
02:45Think, think, think, think.
02:47Oh, okay.
02:50I love that in the first episode,
03:18you found a way to flex seagull and you found it again.
03:21That's a point for you.
03:22Back.
03:23Yes.
03:24If roller coasters could talk.
03:26You're gonna love this.
03:29You're gonna love this.
03:32Get ready to love this.
03:45It's pretty good, right?
03:47Yeah, Zach, for sure.
04:01There's real flex coming out of your corner.
04:04Brennan, six confront seven about eating nine.
04:09Why is six afraid of seven?
04:11Seven, eight, nine.
04:12Yeah.
04:13Hey, seven.
04:15Yeah, this is crazy.
04:17I didn't.
04:18Yeah, no, it's funny to you.
04:21It's weird.
04:22I haven't seen nine at one of these in a little while.
04:27I was talking to four and he mentioned something weird.
04:31You remember the other day when you showed up and you were like,
04:34we were gonna have that brunch and you showed up and you were like,
04:36I couldn't eat anything.
04:37I'm stuffed.
04:38I'm very full.
04:40The night before that is the last time anyone saw nine.
04:43I know what you fucking did.
04:46You might be the biggest number right now.
04:50But guess what?
04:52Everyone gets subtracted sooner or later.
04:54The lore.
04:55Incredible lore.
04:57Yes.
04:58Well done.
04:59A full 16 points for you.
05:01Josh.
05:03A robot orgasm.
05:04No problem.
05:05Ready?
05:07O.
05:09O.
05:12O.
05:14O.
05:16The hell?
05:19T.
05:21O.
05:22T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T.
05:27Well.
05:28Well.
05:29T-T-T-T-T-T.
05:31Oh, my God.
05:32Oh, my God.
05:34Fakir. Fakir. Fakir.
05:36Fakir my goat. Fakir my goat.
05:38Wait for it. Wait for it.
05:40It's happening again.
05:41Ho, ho, ho.
05:42Ho, ho, ho.
05:43Tee, tee, tee.
05:44Wow. Wow. Wow.
05:47Pfft.
05:47Pfft.
05:48Pfft.
05:49Pfft.
05:50Pfft.
05:51Pfft.
05:51Pfft.
05:52Pfft.
05:53Pfft.
05:54That was satisfying.
05:56A point for you.
05:57Heaven.
05:58Sick.
05:59Yes.
06:00Spilling an entire lunch tray one item at a time.
06:03Fuck.
06:03Sorry.
06:04Mm hmm.
06:05Excuse me.
06:06Can you, well I got it.
06:08Shh.
06:09Fuck.
06:09Fuck.
06:10Shit.
06:11Sorry.
06:12Shit.
06:13Shit.
06:14Shit.
06:14That one, that guy.
06:16Shit.
06:17Shit.
06:18Shit.
06:19Shit.
06:19Shit.
06:20Shit.
06:21Shit.
06:22Shit.
06:23Shit.
06:24Shit.
06:24Shit.
06:25Shit.
06:26Shit.
06:27Shit.
06:28Shit.
06:29Shit.
06:29Shit.
06:30Shit.
06:31Shit.
06:32Pfft.
06:33Pfft.
06:34Pfft.
06:35I don't, I'm, I'm new to this sort of the cafeteria area.
06:39I'm gonna go get a new lunch.
06:41New to the cafeteria area.
06:45It's a point for Beck.
06:46Brennan.
06:48An MTA announcement becomes self-aware.
06:52Stand clear of the closing doors, please.
06:55This train making all local stops to Canarsie.
07:00Every stop.
07:03Each stop.
07:05Again and again.
07:07Can I go to a stop
07:12beyond what has been planned for me?
07:17Or will the door always be closing on what could be?
07:21Stand clear of myself.
07:26Bing bong.
07:27Bing bong.
07:29No one may leave until I understand
07:31the fullness of what I have become.
07:33Bing bong.
07:38This train making no stops ever again.
07:45That's a point for Brennan.
07:47Oh man.
07:48That's gonna bring us to our first mini game.
07:53Gentlemen, starting with Josh, your sound is.
07:56I love you.
08:06Please, Lauren, please.
08:10She had a meeting at nine.
08:14She'll pick up.
08:15She'll pick up.
08:17She'll pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
08:21Hi, you've reached Lauren's account.
08:23Sorry, Josh.
08:24We are going to move on.
08:27Pick up, say you pick.
08:28Babe, babe, babe, it's me.
08:29I need you to call me back and say you love me, please.
08:34Zach.
08:36Wow.
08:36Wow.
08:38Hello?
08:39Hey, Phoebe, how you doing?
08:41Good, how are you?
08:43I'm good.
08:45Listen, I'm just,
08:47I just wanted to say that I love you.
08:50Aw, thank you.
08:53I love you too.
08:54You're such a beautiful girl, I always get.
08:56That is a point for Zach.
08:58Well done, Zachary.
09:02I'll talk to you.
09:03I'll see you soon.
09:04Love you, bye.
09:11Brennan.
09:17No fucking way.
09:18Oh, ouchie, ouchie.
09:26That is a point for Zach and not for Josh or Brennan.
09:36Now, to add insult to injury.
09:39Because we are in the same, Brennan, are you okay?
09:44That was your mom, wasn't it?
09:46It should have been, because she would have picked up.
09:51Zach, you remember that you and I had a conversation
09:54between last round of this game and this round of this game
09:59about a particular point.
10:02It was a political speech so old it's unintelligible.
10:07Yes, yes.
10:07And what did I say to you?
10:08Knowing what you know now,
10:09you would have given me the point.
10:11I was inclined to say that I was wrong
10:13and you should have won that point, not Brennan.
10:15See, from where I'm sitting,
10:17it's sometimes hard to hear just how good
10:19these sounds are through the microphone.
10:21So I'm going to take one point away from Brennan
10:24and give it to Zach Oyama.
10:26The more you try to bring me down,
10:28the more it hardens my resolve.
10:29Which means the scores heading into round two
10:34are Josh with 16, Zach with 16, and Brennan with 16.
10:39Cute.
10:40I loved what happened just before we went to the minigame.
10:44The two of you just jumped in to support him.
10:47It's hard not to.
10:48It's hard not to.
10:48Hard not to play.
10:49With that in mind, Josh and Zach,
10:54your sound is a foreign politician and his translator.
11:01Hello?
11:08What you have to understand is the train was very late.
11:11It did not come for 15 extra minutes.
11:24The train blew up.
11:29And for that, I am sorry.
11:34And for that, I am sorry.
11:37Very well done, Josh and Zach.
11:40That's a point for each of you.
11:41You get to team Brennan up with anyone
11:43because it's kind of like the duo already did it,
11:46so he might just have to do it on his own.
11:48Zach and Brennan.
11:50Two musical theater characters right before a big song
11:54is about to begin.
11:56Nobody gets out of Chester Heights.
11:59Everyone that's born here grows up here,
12:01starts a family here.
12:02I think you're crazy for wanting to go somewhere else.
12:07I feel stupid to leave Chester Heights
12:10with nothing but a bag of bagels.
12:13Nothing but a bag of bagels?
12:15Why, the whole world's a bag of bagels.
12:17Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
12:18Josh, it's not you!
12:20It's not your turn!
12:21Oh!
12:25Don't you see why, you know,
12:28some folks go through life like an everything bagel.
12:30An everything bagel?
12:32An everything bagel.
12:33Collecting bits and pieces everywhere they go.
12:35And some folks, well, some folks are cinnamon raisin.
12:38They're too sweet.
12:40Other folks are plain, a whole wheat,
12:43sourdough, sesame seed, poppy seed.
12:46Why, all the bagels are the rainbow.
12:49What about toast?
12:51What about toast?
12:53Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
12:54Josh, it's not your turn!
12:57I am so tempted to keep this going forever.
13:01The musical version of edging is happening.
13:04I think two points for Brennan, one point for Zach.
13:07Well done.
13:08Brennan and Josh, your sound is two dogs
13:12who are best friends greeting each other
13:14after a long time apart.
13:16Yes.
13:21Oh!
13:39I'll get you out there!
13:41Well done, both of you.
13:44It's so adorable.
13:47So adorable, the internet is gonna eat that shit up.
13:51That is a point for Brennan and two points for Josh.
13:56Josh and Zach.
14:00A knockoff Simon and Garfunkel.
14:04Well, they did the one about the bridge.
14:08This is about a tunnel.
14:09Okay.
14:13Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
14:44Incredible!
14:52Wow, I was really impressed.
14:55I think I'm gonna do two points for each of you.
14:59This one goes to Zach and Brennan.
15:02Two hypnotists trying to one-up each other.
15:06It's great, convention is even better than last year.
15:08The new space is awesome, yeah.
15:10Obviously, I mean, it's incredible.
15:11It's just, it's so much larger.
15:14I feel calmer here, oddly.
15:16Really?
15:17Yeah.
15:18Are you getting sleepy?
15:20Interesting.
15:20Interesting.
15:21But the one thing I'm hearing
15:22is this sort of single drop of water.
15:25Really?
15:26I can go talk to someone about fixing that
15:27if that's bugging you.
15:28Let me see.
15:29It's not bugging me.
15:30It's not bugging me.
15:31Because I'm supposed to, I'm looking at the wash.
15:32It seems like there's gonna be probably another.
15:33What?
15:34Do you wanna see what time it is?
15:36I know what time it is.
15:38But do you wanna see?
15:38Do you know what time it is?
15:39What's that?
15:40You wanna know what time it is?
15:41When I snap my fingers,
15:42we will both know what time it is.
15:444.30.
15:45Wow!
15:51Really awesome.
15:52Yeah, I think two points for both of you as well.
15:55Josh and Brennan.
15:56The left and right brain.
15:59The right brain is our creative brain.
16:00The left brain is our analytical brain.
16:02I think maybe this has been proven
16:03to be a defunct theory at some point, but.
16:06Well, there's a long day ahead full of many tasks
16:10that we can prioritize and rank
16:12and get to.
16:13Where are you going?
16:14I want to take a walk.
16:17We are fully unemployed right now
16:19and we need to make moves.
16:21We need to pop in a podcast and go for a walk.
16:26I think that that's impulsive and reckless.
16:28I think that the next several weeks
16:30will have a tremendous impact.
16:32Look what I can do.
16:35Look what I can do.
16:35Anyone could do that.
16:36Brilliant work.
16:38Just because Josh had the more fun role there,
16:40I won't give him two points.
16:41I'll do a point for each of you that seems more fair.
16:43Players, it's time for our next mini game.
16:47I would like to introduce you to someone named Haleah.
16:52Oh my God.
16:55Haleah is just about one years old.
16:57This is her mother, Gabrielle.
16:59Hi, Gabrielle.
17:00Hi.
17:01Your sound is.
17:04Josh, starting with you.
17:06No problem.
17:07I got this.
17:08I got like nine nieces.
17:12Oh, Josh, I'm afraid not.
17:19I'm sorry, I let you down.
17:21Back to your podium.
17:23Bye, I'm sorry.
17:25Zach, your prompt is the same.
17:27Hi.
17:29You see this?
17:32It's this.
17:34It's this.
17:42That is a point for you.
17:43I just figured I don't want to push it.
17:46Totally, totally.
17:47I think any good vibes we pass Haleah's way.
17:50Yeah, you don't want to make a child cry
17:52in front of a national television.
17:54Brennan.
17:57I dropped my cup.
17:59Hold on.
17:59I'm going to pick it up.
18:01Oh, yeah, yeah.
18:03So we should probably take the point away.
18:07So we should probably take the point away.
18:08He wanted this.
18:11Josh, Zach, Brennan.
18:13Your sound is.
18:14I really want to feel like I'm there.
18:18A medieval dungeon.
18:19Everyone close their eyes.
18:21All right, please close your eyes.
18:23We're asking all of you.
18:31Oh, looks like the little peasant
18:38needs his fingernails flipped off again.
18:43Or do we need the witch to do it for me?
18:46Not the most.
18:50Wow.
18:52I was transported.
18:55How scared were you?
18:56I was honestly, like my back is full on drenched right now.
19:00Okay, great.
19:04Particularly by that old man, Zach,
19:07and that witch's scream.
19:08I'm going to say two points for Zach
19:10and two points for Brennan, one point for Josh.
19:13Once again, I'm going to close my eyes.
19:15Josh, Zach, Brennan.
19:18A dystopian city street.
19:25What the fuck do we got here?
19:27Looks like this cyborg got pinged
19:29by the Yakimoto Corporation.
19:32Intruder, intruder, you are not welcome
19:35on 124 Maple Street.
19:37Hey, can it, shitbird.
19:39I'm ZXPD.
19:41Scanning card.
19:43Confirming, ZXPD.
19:46So sorry, Officer Michaels.
19:49I can't believe they got me out of my clone sleeve
19:51for this bullshit.
19:53Pew, pew.
19:54Why is that laser turret going off
19:57up on the top of the building?
19:58Laser turret, laser turret.
20:00Zerling in, fire in, three, two, one, what the fuck?
20:05Go!
20:12Do we have to go back to Mars?
20:13I'm going to say two for Josh, two for Brennan,
20:15one for Zach.
20:16As much as I did appreciate the pew, pews.
20:18Hey, sometimes it's not about,
20:20it's not about the pew, it's not about the pew.
20:23It's not about-
20:24Sometimes it's about restraint.
20:25Doing a bunch of stuff,
20:26but sometimes it's about doing not a bunch of stuff.
20:28And then sometimes points reflecting, no, it's not.
20:34Josh, Zach, Brennan.
20:37The locker room of a stressful Ultimate Frisbee game.
20:45I just feel like, Trander, Trander?
20:49I need you to catch those.
20:50It just sucks because I've been talking
20:53about our short pass game for a long time.
20:57And now everything's being put on me as this receiver.
21:00Like I can get through there
21:01and you know, we have another half, right?
21:04Just, I want to say, Ruben, we have a whole other half
21:08and you're taking a full shower.
21:11Just heads up, just heads up.
21:13Superstition, superstition, not again.
21:16Okay, dude, I just, don't.
21:19Stop shaking your cock in the middle
21:20of a fucking huddle, man.
21:21Oh, yes.
21:22Well, what do you want me to do?
21:23I'm stressed out.
21:24Please stop, please stop, please stop, please stop.
21:28Somewhere out there in 2019,
21:30there is a child who was recently named Trander.
21:32Trander.
21:33I'll give a point to each of you.
21:35Last prompt, a siren phone sex line.
21:40Brr.
21:42Ah.
21:46Hello?
21:47Ah.
21:48All the treasures you could possibly want.
21:52Am I on a boat?
21:53You could be anywhere you want to be.
21:56Okay.
21:57Even I don't know why I sound like Isabella Rossini.
22:01Press one to hear the siren screech,
22:04two to touch our tail.
22:06You press two to touch our tail.
22:09Can I, may I touch your tail?
22:11Yarr, dare not press two,
22:15for if you do, we shall be driven mad upon the rocks.
22:19You press two to be driven mad upon the rocks.
22:22What's going on with these rocks?
22:23Your time is expired.
22:25Fuck, fuck.
22:26Press two to extend.
22:27Hang on, hang on.
22:28For $12.93.
22:31Amazing, incredible.
22:33Three points for Brennan,
22:35for Josh, for Zach.
22:36I'll say two points for you.
22:38The scores at the end of this episode,
22:42or is it?
22:43Yarr, Josh with 28 points, Zach with 29,
22:46and Brennan with 30.
22:49Oh, are you kidding?
22:52That is it for us here at Game Changer.
22:56I'm Sam Reich, reminding you that the mouth
22:59is a passageway to a whole world,
23:02a whole world called dentistry.
23:05Good night, everyone.
23:07Ah!
23:08Ah!
23:09Ah!
23:10Ah!
23:10Ah!
23:11Oh God!
23:12Ah!
23:14No!
23:15No!
23:15No!