Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00♪
00:30Nigel, are you ready, dear? It's nearly one o'clock.
00:33It won't be a minute, Mum. Could I have a word with you, Mum?
00:36Yes.
00:37Look, as Nigel is leaving to go to college, could we have his room, me and Lorraine?
00:40I mean, I know we already got a bedroom, but as we're a married couple,
00:43we could turn Nigel's room into a sitting room.
00:46What do you want a sitting room for?
00:48To sit in.
00:49I would have asked Dad, but I didn't want to risk stopping his breathing.
00:52What?
00:53He keeps saying I get up his nose.
00:55It's the way you approach him, Raymond.
00:57You always rub him up the wrong way.
00:59Now, if you make an effort to be nice, he can be very reasonable.
01:02Nigel, we are leaving now.
01:04Oh, Dad, yeah, great. How are you, Dad?
01:06Good, you're looking great, Dad.
01:08Wasn't that a lovely dinner you had last night?
01:10My wife cooked it for you, Lorraine.
01:12Unfortunately, I'm aware of who you're married, Raymond.
01:14I'm still trying to give her.
01:15You're still trying to give her.
01:17God, Dad, you're a scream, you really are.
01:19Now, see, Dad, I knew you'd understand.
01:21I mean, well, for a start, we're both men.
01:23Really?
01:24Well, I know I am. I just had a bath and I checked.
01:27What do you want, Raymond?
01:28Nigel's room is our sitting room.
01:31Forget it, Raymond.
01:32Why not?
01:33God, if I'd have met you first, I'd have never married her.
01:35What was that, Raymond?
01:36Nothing, Dad.
01:37Are we ready to leave, Nigel?
01:39Why is he taking you to college? Why can't you go on your own?
01:41Because I want to make sure he gets there.
01:43It's the only chance I've got of ever witnessing a miracle.
01:45We're leaving now, Beryl.
01:46All right. Nigel, I've got some sandwiches for you.
01:49Oh, take care then, darling.
01:52We shall miss you.
01:53Now, phone us and write often. Let us know if there's anything you want.
01:56He's not leaving to join the Foreign Legion, Beryl.
01:59It's only an hour up the road.
02:00Yeah, I'll probably be back again tomorrow.
02:01You will not. In any case, you won't have a room.
02:03Oh, thanks, Dad.
02:04You were right, Mum. All I can say is thanks.
02:06I'm going to use it as my study.
02:08Thanks for nothing.
02:09Well, try, Nigel. You work hard and learn as much as you can.
02:13There's a lot of ignorance about.
02:15Come on, son. Let's get going.
02:16Oh, he's off.
02:18They just had to come and say goodbye. Goodbye.
02:21Bye-bye, Vera.
02:22Goodbye.
02:23Don't worry about anything here. I'll look after it.
02:26Work hard. I'm proud of you, son.
02:28Beryl's son, medical student. Marvellous.
02:32We are trying to leave, Vera.
02:34Going for brain surgery and eventually you may be able to help your father.
02:39Goodbye.
02:40Goodbye, Vera.
02:41Where are you going, Arthur?
02:43Narnia.
02:44Oh, Mr. Crosby. I arrived to say goodbye.
02:46Goodbye, Narnia.
02:47Goodbye.
02:48Goodbye.
02:49Hello. I say goodbye.
02:51Oh, hello, Narnia.
02:52Oh, goodbye, Nigel.
02:54We said goodbye last night, Narnia.
02:56Oh, I know, but I am forgetting to bring you this.
02:58How sweet, a parting gift.
03:01Probably his underpants.
03:04Oh, I have knitted it. It is something for his neck.
03:07Oh, a scarf. How can I?
03:11Nigel.
03:12Oh, Narnia.
03:13Oh, God.
03:14Nigel, Narnia, knock it off.
03:17Goodbye, Narnia.
03:18Come on, sir.
03:19I want to get back and start setting up my study.
03:21You can clear out Nigel's room now.
03:23Yes, I am actually taking over my own house at last.
03:25Paul is gone, Nigel is on his way, and Raymond.
03:27Raymond won't be here much longer.
03:29I am not going nowhere.
03:30No, I am a tenant here. I am under the rent.
03:32He is right in-law.
03:34Yes, I may be an in-law, but I am treated like an outlaw.
03:36Yes.
03:37I am getting myself a job and then I shall be independent.
03:41I hope you do get a job, Raymond.
03:43Then I will have witnessed two miracles.
03:45Come on, son.
03:46I want to get back and turn your room into my study.
03:48Hello, everybody.
03:49Hello.
03:50Just off.
03:51Oh, good.
03:52This is Abigail.
03:53She is a friend of mine.
03:54Well, she is an actress, and she is on tour,
03:56and she is looking for a place to stay.
03:57So I said she could have Nigel's room.
04:02He has been a bit restless lately.
04:06CODD.
04:07I am so glad I came.
04:09You see, the first time I saw you, I knew.
04:12You knew?
04:13I knew.
04:14I wanted to.
04:15I am glad.
04:16I have been restless lately.
04:18I know.
04:19Let's go away together.
04:21Let's leave tonight.
04:23I love you.
04:28Sorry.
04:29Sorry.
04:30Abigail, actress.
04:31I was helping her with the lines, Beryl.
04:32Oh, yes?
04:33I was acting, Trevor.
04:34You had me convinced.
04:37He is very good.
04:38Yes, well, comes quite easily, you know.
04:40Yes, that's what I thought.
04:42Do you want us to leave?
04:43Don't be silly, Beryl.
04:44I think your husband is very good, Mrs. Crabtree.
04:47He ought to do more of it.
04:48I bet he'd like to.
04:51I think he's got talent.
04:53Oh, he likes a bit of talent.
04:55Do you want something, Trevor?
04:57I thought you might just fancy a pint, Sir Lawrence.
04:59I'm rather heavily committed, dramatically speaking, Trevor.
05:02Theatre, culture, very important, you know.
05:03Oh, well, if it's that important, you better stay here, then.
05:05It's not that important, Beryl.
05:06It's just, well, as a matter of fact, I was enjoying it.
05:08I'm thinking of taking this up as a hobby.
05:10Yes, do.
05:11Then there's amateur dramatics.
05:12You might enjoy that as well.
05:14Well, I'm going for a pint.
05:16I'll come with you, Trev.
05:17You could rehearse up in your study, Dad.
05:19You know, Nigel's room.
05:20Is it your study?
05:21Oh, I'm in there.
05:22I didn't realise.
05:23Would it help if I moved in with Tracy?
05:25No.
05:26Well, you could do.
05:27I mean, there's enough room and there's a spare bed.
05:29Well, there you are then, Arthur.
05:30Now you've got what you wanted.
05:32You can use it as a study or a dressing room.
05:35Well, didn't we have a star somewhere off the Christmas tree?
05:38And all I can say is it's a far, far better thing than you ever did than you did before.
05:43Ouch! Ouch! Damn spot!
05:44Is that acting?
05:45No, it's what I say to one of the dogs.
05:46Yeah.
05:47There's no business like any sort of business you used to know.
05:51Thank you. We'll let you know.
05:54I think I will use Nigel.
05:56We can use Nigel's room as my study, if you like.
06:00Well, we would be out of the way, I suppose, and he is such a help.
06:03Yes, isn't he?
06:04Well, carry on then, Arthur.
06:06I'd like to watch that television programme.
06:08You know, the one you were very keen to watch after you'd put your foot down.
06:12Yeah, thank you, Beryl.
06:13Shall we adjourn to my study, Abigail?
06:15I think I'll play it with a limb.
06:17Hello, Dad.
06:18Mum?
06:19Nigel, what are you doing back here?
06:21Moving in.
06:22Have you got that letter I got from the college?
06:23Yes.
06:24Well, check the date.
06:25You've got it wrong.
06:26Term starts next Monday.
06:27Excuse me.
06:30Dad's late tonight.
06:31Oh, he's not coming straight home.
06:34He's getting something in town and then he's fixed up to join the local amateur dramatic society.
06:39Really?
06:40Oh, that's good.
06:41He needs a hobby.
06:43Yeah, it'd be nice for him to get out of the house more.
06:46Come to think of it, it'd be nicer for all of us.
06:50I think he's getting a bit carried away with this acting thing.
06:53Abigail said he was quite good.
06:55Well, when I first met him, he was involved with a dramatic society.
06:58Leading role?
06:59Selling programmes.
07:02Well, I'm sure he'll be all right, Mum.
07:04I mean, he's been leading man around here for 24 years.
07:07Yes, well, let's just hope they're doing a farce.
07:10Right, come on now, Deborah, Anthony, Harold.
07:14Let's all try to forget about last week.
07:17The weather was foul.
07:19Even Cyril caught pneumonia again.
07:21And they were a rotten audience, those who turned up.
07:25Mainly your relatives.
07:27The poor little front row were fast asleep.
07:29They had to.
07:30Yes, that's the last time we give complimentary tickets to the Ball War Society.
07:36Good evening.
07:37Er, Crabtree, Arthur Crabtree.
07:39I phoned earlier.
07:41Mr Hackett, isn't it?
07:42Yes.
07:43Director.
07:46Don't we know each other?
07:47You're an estate agent, aren't you?
07:49You almost sold my house once.
07:50I remember.
07:52Yes, you really wasted my time.
07:55I did an awful lot of hard work for nothing, yes.
07:58Yes, well, as I said on the phone,
07:59I'd like to try out for the Dramatic Society and join, if that's possible.
08:03If I enroll you, Mr Crabtree,
08:05are we going to find you've taken yourself off the market at the last moment?
08:08I don't think so.
08:09I think I'm a very valuable property, Mr Hackett, theatrically speaking.
08:13I've had previous experience in the Army Repertory Company, actually.
08:17I was an acting corporal.
08:21I think I can still remember lines.
08:23I am glad.
08:24What?
08:25Edward, Cyril's pneumonia.
08:27We do have a vacancy.
08:29Oh, good. I can even remember the last part I played,
08:31though it was over 25 years ago.
08:33Oh, I am impressed.
08:35Well, perhaps you could give us a sample.
08:38It is usual to do some sort of audition.
08:40Audition?
08:42Yes, well, I think I can recall the best part of it.
08:45Do carry on.
08:48When you're ready, love.
08:58Lord Ponsford has arrived, madam.
09:05Yes, yes, carry on.
09:08That's it.
09:12I'm sorry.
09:13Yes, carry on.
09:15That's it.
09:19There was more. Yes, I'm sorry, I can't remember it.
09:22I've put Lady Denbigh in the East Wing, madam.
09:30Yes.
09:31Couldn't you give us just a little more of something?
09:35More?
09:36Well, we did do The Wind and the Rain.
09:38Which were you?
09:40I was on leave at the time.
09:42I used to do a dramatic monologue. I can't remember how it started.
09:44Oh, I'll tell you what, Mr Crabtree.
09:46Why don't you sit in with us and read the part of Soames?
09:49Soames? Oh, good, thank you.
09:51We're doing The Forsyte Saga, are we?
09:53No, we're doing a Victorian melodrama.
09:55Soames is the ancient butler.
09:57You should be on familiar territory.
10:00And you get to wear the wig.
10:03The butler.
10:04There's not a lot to do, but the part can be extended.
10:07That is, of course, if you feel that you can be extended.
10:10Well, I did do a long stretch in the army.
10:14Yes, well, let's give it a whirl.
10:16Once I get into it, I'm sure it'll all come back to me.
10:18Come back to you?
10:19Oh, yes, in this play, it should, definitely.
10:22Why, what's it called?
10:23Against the Wind.
10:29It's all right, Mum, I'll get it.
10:31Shh, shh, you'll wake the baby.
10:33Oh, you're not babysitting again on a Saturday.
10:36Paul and Louise have gone to look at a flat.
10:38Now, keep the noise down or you'll wake him.
10:40Now, go and answer the door.
10:42Mrs. Bentley-Smith is waiting in the drawing room, ma'am.
10:48Mrs. Bentley-Smith is waiting in the drawing room, ma'am.
10:53And she asked me to tell you...
10:57She asked me to tell you that...
10:59Nadia's here.
11:00Nadia's here.
11:02What is it?
11:03Can we come in?
11:04No, I'm rehearsing.
11:05I've got to be word perfect by Wednesday. Out!
11:07Oh, what is the problem with him?
11:08Oh, he's trying to become an actor.
11:10He's got a tiny part in an amateur production.
11:12Out!
11:14Come on, let's go up to my room while I've still got it.
11:15I'm back.
11:16Is Raymond in?
11:17The baby.
11:18No, he's out again.
11:19Something to do with this job.
11:20Oh, what job?
11:21I didn't know he got a job.
11:22Well, nothing's impossible, and he's got all the qualifications.
11:24He's been doing nothing for years.
11:27She's in the drawing room, madam.
11:30And she asked me to tell you that...
11:33To tell you that...
11:34I'm back.
11:35I'm back.
11:37What is it?
11:38Oh, do you know where Raymond is?
11:39Apparently, he's got a job.
11:40I don't believe it.
11:41And please, please, I'm busy.
11:43Oh, yes, don't interrupt your father.
11:44He's trying to get into show business.
11:47Mrs. Bentley-Smith is waiting in the drawing room, madam.
11:52Mrs...
11:55I've got to clean up.
11:57Why?
11:58Well, you knocked a plant over doing your acting.
12:00Go up and do it in your study.
12:02Oh, no, you can't, can you?
12:03Nigel's back.
12:04Well, it'll only take a minute.
12:06Yes, all right.
12:07You do the cleaning, and I'll rehearse in the hall.
12:09Hello, little chap.
12:11Uncle Raymond's back.
12:12Give us a grin.
12:15It's not me.
12:16It's him.
12:17Have you finished in the living room?
12:18No.
12:19You've woken the baby.
12:20Raymond, where have you been?
12:21Congratulate me, Fredal.
12:22I've got some great news.
12:23I can't tell you where.
12:24Let's go to our room.
12:25We can't talk here.
12:26Your dad's woken the baby up.
12:27Hi, Daddy.
12:28How's your acting going?
12:30For three days now, I have struggled against all odds.
12:33I have struggled to find a small corner, a small oasis of peace and quiet
12:36where I can pursue my interests.
12:38But evidently, it is not to be.
12:40But I will not give in.
12:41I will go on and on and on and on, yes,
12:43and in the end, I will succeed where lesser men have failed.
12:51That was great, Daddy.
12:52When do you do the audition?
12:54I am going out, Feral.
12:56Oh, good.
12:57I did tell Paul that you might take the baby for a walk.
12:59Yes, yes, take him in the park.
13:01It's nice and quiet there and you can learn your lines.
13:09It is an omen, madam.
13:12The cuckoo returns to Devonish Hall every year.
13:16Ah, there it is.
13:17Up in...
13:19In yonder tree.
13:28It is an omen, madam.
13:30The cuckoo...
13:34It wasn't that bad.
13:36Coming along rather nicely.
13:38The cuckoo returns to Devonish House every year.
13:42And there it is.
13:44Up in yonder tree.
13:47The cuckoo returns to Devonish House every year.
13:53And there it is.
13:55Up in yonder tree.
14:04Mr Crabtree?
14:09Abigail?
14:12You all right?
14:13I was jogging.
14:14I twisted my ankle.
14:16Oh, I'm sorry.
14:18Come and sit.
14:20OK.
14:23Now, which one is it?
14:25It's that one.
14:33I've got it, I've got it.
14:46What was he going on?
14:48Yeah, that's it.
14:52Abigail, actress.
14:53I was helping her, actually.
14:54She's, er...
14:55Fallen.
14:56Fallen? For whom?
14:57It's all right, Vera.
14:58They're only acting.
14:59He's helping her.
15:00He's helping himself.
15:02I've learned my lines, actually.
15:05Will you call off your dogs, please?
15:07They're not mine.
15:08I'm walking them for a friend.
15:13He's after a lot of affection, by the look of it.
15:15I came up here for a bit of peace and quiet.
15:18I'm going to get you!
15:23Now you're what he's doing!
15:24He's hugging the baby!
15:26You think you know better!
15:29I don't know what he told you, dear, but he should!
15:31After all, he is a grandfather!
15:40It's late. Where's Dad?
15:41Oh, he's taken the day off.
15:42He's only in play tonight.
15:44Oh, what a fuss.
15:45He's only playing the butler.
15:46He's very keen and he's taking it very seriously.
15:49Yes, don't be so critical.
15:51Now, look, he's coming to show me his costume in a minute.
15:53Now, don't make any comments or any disparaging remarks.
15:56All right, relax, Mum, I won't.
15:59Beryl!
16:00Oh, in here, dear.
16:09Can you take it in, Beryl?
16:10Yes, yes, yes, yes.
16:11We'll take it in.
16:12To Oxfam.
16:14Yes, very funny.
16:16You've got a big part then, have you, Dad?
16:18Can you do anything, Beryl?
16:20She can get in there with you.
16:21Yes, all right, very amusing, Tracy.
16:23You've had a good laugh.
16:24Now, let's be serious, shall we?
16:25Could you ask Abigail if she can help me with my make-up this evening?
16:28Make-up?
16:29Well, don't you do it when you get there?
16:31There are no facilities.
16:32I thought I'd get changed here and we can all go together.
16:34Go where?
16:35The co-op hall for my opening night!
16:37Oh, Dad, such short notice.
16:39I'm committed tonight.
16:40Yes, and I'm going to see Abigail in her play.
16:42But I'm sure she'll do your make-up for you.
16:44Are you coming, Beryl?
16:45Yes, yes, of course.
16:46And I'm sure you'll have a full house.
16:48I mean, Vera bought a whole load of tickets to sell
16:50and I expect she and Trevor will be there.
16:56What's he up to now?
16:59It's his costume, Vera, for tonight's play.
17:01He just wants adjusting a bit.
17:04I should leave it like that.
17:05You get a lot of laughs like that.
17:07It is not a comedy, Vera.
17:08It will be when you come on.
17:11Oh, what a pity I shall be there to see her.
17:14I brought the tickets back.
17:15No takers.
17:16I'm afraid I couldn't even give them away.
17:18Well, bringing up wind with Arthur Crabtree, I ask you.
17:22Against the wind, actually, Vera.
17:24No, I am sorry.
17:26I can't come tonight.
17:28But I have got a very important annual general meeting
17:31of the Canary Club
17:33and I can't let Mrs Didsbury down.
17:35Well, who's she, the president?
17:36No, it's just there are only two of us
17:37and if I don't go, she'll be on her own.
17:40No, you do look good in that, Arthur.
17:42You'll want to wear it round the house.
17:43Come to think of it,
17:44you'll probably go around the house.
17:48I can't wait to tell Trevor.
17:50He would have loved to have come
17:52but he's started on something
17:54and he wants to finish it.
17:55For what?
17:56Crossword.
17:57There.
17:58Now, of course, he's coming.
17:59There is a bar, is there?
18:00Good luck, Arthur.
18:01Break your legs.
18:03I'm sure there'll be a great success.
18:05Against the wind.
18:06Bound to be.
18:07If it gets up that suit,
18:08you'll take off in a big way.
18:16Yes, well, having received a vote of confidence
18:18from everybody,
18:19I'll go and run through the lines again.
18:21I'll take this off, Beryl.
18:22Perhaps you can do something with it.
18:23Yes, all right, Arthur.
18:24I'll pitch it in the back garden
18:25and we'll all go camping.
18:28Sorry, dear.
18:29I was going to give a superb performance
18:31in this excellent play
18:32and everyone,
18:33neighbours, family,
18:34everyone is a critic
18:36and I haven't opened yet.
18:40Who let the bloody hoover out here?
18:42Rebecca did it.
18:48You all right, Dad?
18:49Yeah, it's just the first night nerves.
18:51That's all.
18:52Abigail's ready to do your make-up now.
18:54Oh, great. Has she got the wig?
18:55Arthur!
18:56I can't now, Beryl.
18:57I've got to do my make-up.
18:58No, Lorraine's got some very special news.
18:59Yes, Dad, Nick can't wait.
19:00You've got over an hour yet.
19:01We'll make sure that you get there.
19:02What's all this special news?
19:03What's going on?
19:04Yeah, what's all the fuss about?
19:05Raymond has some marvellous news for you all.
19:07He's leaving?
19:08No.
19:09He's got a permanent job.
19:11Brandy anyone?
19:12Oh, stop it, Nigel.
19:13Raymond's been on a special course for the last month.
19:16He hasn't told anyone.
19:17He didn't even tell me till this evening.
19:19I'm so proud of him.
19:20What is it?
19:21It's a job that calls for courage,
19:22attention to detail,
19:23perseverance and a pleasant personality,
19:26ability at maths
19:27and to work without supervision
19:29and Raymond has got it.
19:30He's not Chancellor the Exchequer, is he?
19:32Just get on with it, Lorraine.
19:34Raymond, you can come in now.
19:36I've done it.
19:39I'm a traffic warden.
19:43I told you to have faith in me, Dad.
19:45Yeah, I'm a traffic warden.
19:47Don't say nothing, Dad.
19:48I know how proud you are.
19:50Yeah, well, I think I'll go for a little quick walk up the road, Freckle.
19:53I like the feeling of power.
19:55Yes, Dad, yes.
19:58I'm a traffic warden.
20:01I'm ready to go now, Arthur.
20:03Where is he?
20:04Oh, he's coming, Mum. He's ready.
20:05Come on, Daddy. You'll be late.
20:07And introducing Mr. Arthur Crabtree and...
20:12Coming, madam.
20:13I hope the carriage awaits.
20:17I hear the bells, the bells, the bells.
20:20I'm getting the hang of this now, Beryl.
20:24Oh, good evening.
20:25Good evening.
20:27Mr. Crabtree?
20:28Yes.
20:29Oh, dear.
20:31Bad news, I'm afraid, Mr. Crabtree.
20:33Burst pipes.
20:35The co-op hall is flooded and we've been cancelled.
20:38I'm awfully sorry.
20:41Hope you didn't go to any trouble.
20:44Yes, well, we do hope to be able to do it again next month.
20:49Well, that's show business.
20:53I'd better dash. I've got to tell the others.
20:56Just keep to the left, will you?
21:00Hello, hello, hello. What's going on here, then?
21:02Dad's play has been cancelled.
21:06Was that him?
21:08The bloke who just left?
21:10The one that left his car outside double parked?
21:14Cheer up, Grandad.
21:15I just put a ticket on it.
21:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE