• 2 months ago

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Transcript
00:00Get ready for a Game Changer!
00:10It's a little different this way, doesn't it?
00:12I'm Sam Reich and when I say I've been here the whole time, this time, I really mean it.
00:17I've been writing Game Changer, performing and stuff such as Mice and Murder, and helping
00:23run the company from here, this chair, this room, for the last few years.
00:29We got Trooper's Helmets over here, we got the Yes or No bobblehead over here.
00:34You asked for it and so here it is, a very special Cutting Room Floor episode of Game Changer.
00:41This is the stuff we didn't intend for you to see and then you made us think about it
00:45on social media and so now we feel obligated to.
00:48Now you might be saying to yourself, Sam, I love every ounce of spittle that is released
00:52from the mouths of you chuckle fucks, why cut anything at all?
00:56This episode will intend to answer that question, starting with, we cut things for time.
01:02Episodes of Game Changer are largely 25 to 35 minutes.
01:06Why?
01:07Because I have a soft spot for that kind of programming.
01:09It also helps to offset some of our longer shows.
01:13I'm not naming names.
01:14I want episodes of Game Changer to feel urgent, to leave you wanting more.
01:19So without further ado, here's some cut prompts from Make Some Noise, including a longer version
01:24of Shakespeare's in-flight safety video, a backstage moment from Survivor on the villainous
01:28nature of apple-eating, and finally, the cut, albeit brief, Busker's Song from official
01:35cast recording.
01:36Brennan, a general contractor's quote for getting the sword out of the stone.
01:44Oh yeah, yeah, that's in there.
01:53See, the issue here is this, is that it's not just the granite, okay?
01:57Because you could get the true king of England here, and you could pull this out, and that
02:00would be fine.
02:01But you're talking about damage to the blade coming out of a granite stone.
02:05You're talking about any kind of rust damage that's already been here in the interim.
02:09This got placed here by a giant or wizard.
02:10Do we know how long ago?
02:11I think it's been there as long as I can remember, maybe forever.
02:14From prior tenant, okay.
02:17This is going to be a dragon's hoard.
02:21That's if I can get my guys, because there's no guarantee.
02:25Josh.
02:26Yes.
02:27A trip to the zoo goes terribly wrong.
02:32No problem.
02:33Here we go.
02:34Oh, he fell.
02:35Oh.
02:36Oh God.
02:37Son, you okay?
02:38Oh my God, daddy.
02:39Daddy, help me.
02:40Hi, Becca.
02:41Daddy.
02:42Yeah, so, okay.
02:43So, Marcus fell.
02:44I am here at the zoo, but the problem is, uh-oh, why would they let them in that way?
02:56No, please don't.
02:57Please don't.
02:58I can't possibly.
02:59Yeah, no.
03:00He's pecking his.
03:01Oh, I'll be home soon.
03:02If that prompt was a moving car, you just open the door.
03:03Oh my God.
03:04Oh my God.
03:05Oh my God.
03:06Oh my God.
03:07Oh my God.
03:08Oh my God.
03:09Oh my God.
03:10Oh my God.
03:11Oh my God.
03:12Oh my God.
03:13Shaxx.
03:14He opened the door and bailed.
03:15Created a whole soundscape, honestly.
03:17At least until I gave up.
03:22Zach.
03:23Okay.
03:25The fifth Wizard of Oz character who didn't make the cut.
03:32And I don't want to interrupt, but we haven't found my keys, yet.
03:38The heart is important.
03:40Courage is important.
03:42Finding your way back home is great,
03:44but I have one little weird key.
03:46It's for a safe that my mom got me
03:48when I was in fourth grade
03:50that I think that my original
03:52social security card is in there, okay?
03:54-♪♪
03:57Josh.
03:58And Zach.
04:00An alien spelling bee.
04:04Can you spell it?
04:06Can you spell it?
04:07Can you spell it without a sentence?
04:11-♪♪
04:21-♪♪
04:31-♪♪
04:34Wait a second.
04:36What happened at the end there?
04:38I think he got it wrong.
04:41-♪♪
04:44Zach.
04:45Okay.
04:46And Brennan.
04:47Okay.
04:48A meet cute.
04:49In quicksand.
04:53Whoa!
04:55Stay still.
04:56Okay, okay.
04:57If you move through the quicksand,
04:59it will begin to drag you deeper.
05:01Okay.
05:02I think I can feel maybe a root with my toe.
05:05Oh, no, is that your toe?
05:06That is my toe.
05:07Oh, God.
05:08Gosh.
05:09I dropped all my papers,
05:10and I had a report on the topography of the jungle.
05:14Gotcha.
05:15I was also swinging through vines
05:16on my way to give a report on the jungle, too.
05:18That's crazy.
05:19Wow.
05:20What camp are you at?
05:21I'm at the Lake Shore camp.
05:22What camp are you at?
05:23The River Basin.
05:24Oh, my God.
05:25Weird.
05:26Weird.
05:27I'm Tad.
05:28No, no, no, no, no!
05:29Okay, okay.
05:30Brennan.
05:31Josh.
05:32Zach.
05:33The New York Stock Exchange trading floor.
05:35If they were yelling about things,
05:36that actually mattered.
05:38We're looking at a big migration.
05:39Climate change.
05:40Climate change.
05:41Climate change.
05:42Climate change.
05:43We need a mass elevation of consciousness.
05:44There's a lot of parts of the civilization
05:45that have not upgraded their morality
05:47or their sense of civic responsibility.
05:49We gotta get a lot of vaccinations.
05:51Misogyny, especially in the film industry.
05:53We live in one shared ecosystem, two for one.
05:55We only have one planet.
05:56One planet.
05:57One almond, one gallon of water.
05:59Can I get 12 years to stop climate change?
06:02Brennan Mulligan.
06:04Shakespeare's in-flight safety video.
06:08Prithee, and well met thou,
06:11tempestuous witch of storms,
06:14to alight so delicately upon the jet streams
06:18of the cerulean sky.
06:20Welcome to Spirit Airlines.
06:23Thou now beholdest the bard of Avon.
06:26Behold!
06:29Behold, twixt either side of you,
06:32the ends of your safety belt.
06:35Be ever so good as to connect them
06:37at the joining place,
06:39lest we crash into the mountainside
06:41and verily thou skull is split
06:43upon the dining tray before thee.
06:46Also, thou shalt notice two emergency exits
06:50to the starboard and port side of the aircraft.
06:54These emergency exits are the very doorway
06:57to thou best chance of life
06:58should we make an aquatic landing
07:01during our flight.
07:03Behold now in your chest the beating heart
07:05that once gave you life upon your crowning
07:07from thy mother's womb.
07:09The womb again opens of this aircraft
07:11in this emergency exit row
07:13and this between the smoldering ruins
07:16of this Boeing 747 aircraft
07:18and blessed life beyond!
07:22Thou knowest the ways in which Spirit Airlines
07:25comports itself so there will be no free snacks,
07:29only a $14 cheese platter.
07:32Verily!
07:34How do you like them apples?
07:36These apples are all great.
07:38These actually really are good apples.
07:39I think they're Fiji.
07:40Fiji, it's always the way to go.
07:42You know, I've never been a sour apple guy,
07:44I won't lie.
07:46In fact, if there was a sour apple here,
07:48I'd vote him out.
07:51That code?
07:52Which one of us is a sour apple?
07:54Guys, I'd like to vote out the sour apple.
07:57One of my favorite things is like
07:59the immediate sort of villain-tell
08:01as I'm eating an apple.
08:03Oh yeah.
08:05Oh, like Jafar.
08:06Jafar, or Jeffrey Rush
08:09in Pirates of the Caribbean.
08:11I think it's because biting into an apple
08:13I think is probably the closest thing
08:15to like breaking bones.
08:17I feel like that sound is so like
08:19gah!
08:21Like I hurt people.
08:24It looks like a little heart.
08:26There's juice everywhere.
08:28And the forbidden fruit.
08:30That's right.
08:31That's right.
08:32There's some real analogous shit going on.
08:34Yeah, it's deep.
08:36Oh gosh no.
08:37All eating apples.
08:38Which one of us is the villain?
08:39That's the question.
08:41That's true.
08:44Wait a minute.
08:47Our busker plays guitar
08:49hoping for a coin or two.
08:51Hey.
08:52I've been on this corner for a long time.
08:54Yeah.
08:59Take my guitar.
09:01Take your guitar?
09:03Play it well.
09:05I quit.
09:07I'm going to business school
09:11because business is cool
09:16and I'm tired of doing this.
09:21But you can do it.
09:23I don't know if I can do it alone.
09:27I don't even know what busker means.
09:30Hey, here's the secret.
09:33I didn't either.
09:35Fake it till you make it.
09:37And when you can't make it,
09:39you go to business school
09:43because business is cool
09:46and this is hard and bad
09:49and this is gonna be good.
09:52Thanks.
09:53This is really compelling.
09:56Wait, give me that back.
09:57No!
09:58Actually, yes.
09:59Business school.
10:03Another reason we might cut is taste.
10:06As an improviser,
10:07you want the freedom to make whatever jokes occur to you in the moment.
10:12Only later you might realize that they are poor.
10:16The same goes for me as host.
10:18Sometimes I fully plan a bit and execute it
10:22and then only realize in retrospect that it was in bad taste.
10:25With that in mind,
10:26please enjoy some cut Grant jokes from Like My Coffee
10:30and a bit from Don't Cry that I, uh,
10:34well, you'll see.
10:37Early on, the players have discovered a mechanic about the game,
10:41which is that they can keep going as long as they like.
10:44Hmm.
10:45Hey!
10:46Grant.
10:47I like my lovers to keep going as long as I like.
10:50No, Grant.
10:54I like my lovers like I like my dental checkups.
10:57Grant?
10:58Uh, using a drill.
11:01I don't think you're being honest, Grant.
11:04I'm not gonna award you that point.
11:06I'm sorry.
11:07No, no, hang on.
11:08No, no, no, no, no.
11:09Oh, a drill.
11:11Double entangre?
11:12No.
11:13I want to use a dental drill both on my teeth
11:16and on someone's penis and testicles.
11:20I'm not gonna give it to you, Grant.
11:21Unbelievable.
11:24Are you a flip phone?
11:27Grant?
11:28Are you a flip phone?
11:29Because you can't get on the internet.
11:33As Jeff Probst would say, I got nothing for you.
11:35No.
11:36Jess?
11:37Are you a flip phone?
11:38Because I'm not afraid to drop you.
11:40That's a breakup one.
11:44Breakup lines are the next episode, Jess.
11:46Oh, dear.
11:47Okay.
11:48I might need the help of a calculator for this last one.
11:52Luke, how old are your parents?
11:5470 and 72.
11:56Let's be optimistic.
11:58Oh, no.
11:59What is this?
12:01This is bad.
12:02How many times a year do you see them?
12:04Probably twice.
12:05Cool.
12:06So, Luke, you have about 26 visits left with your parents,
12:09and you only live to the age of 26.
12:11All I want you to do is to look into your camera there.
12:14I want you to count to 26.
12:16Sure.
12:17Imagining one of those numbers is each a visit left that you have.
12:20Oh, God.
12:221, 2, 3, 4.
12:24You can slow down a little bit.
12:255, 6.
12:27Really picture the visit.
12:297, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.
12:47You can slow down even more.
12:5022.
12:5423.
12:5824.
13:0225.
13:0626.
13:08I think I might have got you there, Luke.
13:10Did I?
13:11Does a quiver count as a tip?
13:13I didn't say a quiver counts.
13:14I'm going to take a point away from you, Luke.
13:16I quivered.
13:17Sorry, I quivered.
13:19Another reason we might cut is chaos.
13:23While Game Changer is supposed to be an unhinged show,
13:26it's also supposed to be structured.
13:29As wild as things get,
13:31I want the audience to feel like I actually have everything under control.
13:36And so we sometimes cut out moments where I clearly do not.
13:40Please enjoy two such moments.
13:42The first is what actually happened
13:44at the bitter end of Film Before a Live Studio Audience.
13:48And the second is what actually happened
13:50when Brennan played his loop-de-loop against Ally in Survivor.
13:56Izzy is the winner of our show.
14:00Izzy, you win a...
14:06Izzy, you win a Rage Room gift certificate.
14:09A what?
14:10A Rage Room gift certificate.
14:12A Rage Room gift certificate.
14:14I'll take it!
14:15That you can use at your leisure.
14:17A Rage Room?
14:18That does it for us here at Game Changer.
14:20I am Sam Reich.
14:22And if you think that Pam loves dogs or something...
14:25Sorry, let me just take this clean.
14:27Okay.
14:28This is an immunity loop-de-loop.
14:31Any votes cast for Brennan will not count.
14:34Oh my God!
14:35Wow!
14:36You think I'm gonna fucking roll over?
14:39You look me in the eyes, Beardsley, and say,
14:42Brennan, I think it's your fucking time.
14:44It'll be a cold day in hell
14:46when I go out like a fucking chump.
14:48Bro, bro.
14:49My goodness gracious.
14:52Yeah!
14:53Yeah!
14:54Yeah!
14:55My goodness.
14:57What's up?
14:58Order!
14:59Order on my stage!
15:02Have a good one, y'all.
15:06The final reason we might cut is pure vanity.
15:11For whatever reason,
15:12there's been a funny groundswell of support
15:14for a me-reaction version of the official cast recording,
15:18something that shows off
15:20my reacting and disbelief throughout.
15:23We tried this.
15:25We're gonna show you a clip of it,
15:26and I think you will quickly realize
15:28why we do not do this.
15:31Because I look like a loon.
15:35Of anything we've showed,
15:36this is the most embarrassing.
15:38Do me a favor,
15:39if you're chatting about this on social media,
15:40go tag me.
15:41I don't need to know.
15:42Enjoy!
15:44Welcome to Mountport.
15:47Good morning!
15:49Good morning!
15:51Hello!
15:52Hello there!
15:53Oh, hey, uh, down there!
15:55Hey!
15:56Timothy!
15:57Yeah?
15:58You're not allowed on the street anymore,
16:00and you know why.
16:01Why?
16:02On account of the crime.
16:04Okay!
16:06I guess I'll go back indoors.
16:09Oh, it's another foggy day
16:11where the ocean marine layer
16:13gets stuck in our mountain range.
16:15That's right.
16:16But I wouldn't have it any other way.
16:18Oh, the mountains over there
16:21next to the sea.
16:24How can that be?
16:27How can that be?
16:31Well, the mountains stretch from the sky
16:33right down to the sea.
16:36How can that be?
16:38Like, physically.
16:39How can that be?
16:43But when you live in Mountainport,
16:46you don't ask many questions.
16:49Like to say this is impossible,
16:52throw out that suggestion.
16:55Yes, the literal name is Mountainport,
16:58and that's what we're about.
17:00But because we're very busy,
17:03very, very busy,
17:04we shorten it to Mountport.
17:07The mountain is right next to the sea.
17:12How can that be?
17:15How can that be?
17:18How can?
17:20How can?
17:24Don't ask me!
17:26Don't ask me!
17:28You can ask me!
17:29Get back inside!
17:30Okay!
17:31Holy shit!
17:33We get a lot of points, too.
17:34Yeah, put the points in there.
17:35Holy shit!
17:36Give me those points!
17:37What you do is a magic trick.
17:40That's it for us here at Game Changer,
17:43but only for now.
17:45As I've said publicly,
17:46you can soon expect three,
17:48count them,
17:49three Game Changer spinoffs.
17:51A Never Have I Ever spinoff
17:53called Dirty Laundry,
17:54a Make Some Noise spinoff
17:56by the same title,
17:57and an as-of-yet untitled spinoff
17:59of the official cast recording.
18:01Not to mention new episodes of Game Changer,
18:03which I am writing right now
18:05and will shoot over this summer.
18:08It is, as ever,
18:10an absolute privilege to play for you.
18:13Thanks for watching.