Dana B | Dana Learns
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00:00Ever since I graduated from a top elite university,
00:04I've wondered, how little can one man know?
00:07What is the depth to which the human brain
00:10can fend off information and refuse to learn?
00:14How stupid can one person actually be?
00:17Thanks to Proper Wild, I get to find out
00:20exactly how dumb Dana Beers is.
00:23Dana.
00:24Hey, what's up, bud?
00:26Good to see you.
00:27Thanks for that.
00:28Today we're gonna be learning about something
00:29that is very near and dear to my heart,
00:32and I'm not talking about cholesterol.
00:34Ah, is that a joke at me, or is that?
00:36Honestly, it's weirdly a joke at me.
00:38I actually have high cholesterol,
00:39but it's hereditary.
00:41I don't have high cholesterol somehow.
00:44I'm just fat.
00:45Today we're gonna be learning about comedy.
00:47Specifically, stand-up comedy.
00:50All right.
00:51You ever thought about trying it?
00:52Fuck no, dude.
00:53If I bombed, I'd probably,
00:55I would let it affect me for months.
00:57And yet, you do things on camera
01:00that would speak of a man with very little
01:02self-awareness, self-concern,
01:04concern for your self-image.
01:06I still piss myself on a quarterly basis.
01:10Let's talk quickly about the origin of stand-up comedy.
01:14Any thoughts about when it might have started?
01:17Charlie Chaplin.
01:18Silent film actor.
01:19He wasn't a, dead serious, he wasn't a comedian?
01:22He was a comedian.
01:23He was an actor.
01:24Well.
01:25Who didn't speak.
01:26We're talking about stand-up comedy.
01:27Oh, fuck.
01:28No, not Charlie Chaplin.
01:31We're talking turn of the century.
01:342000s?
01:35You think stand-up comedy started in the year 2000?
01:38No, but when you say turn of the century,
01:40I'm thinking this most recent century.
01:43I was going to get to which turn,
01:46and then you guessed.
01:48All right, so 1900.
01:50Yeah, right around then.
01:51Burlesque shows.
01:53Burlesque is when, like,
01:54it's all about showing skin.
01:57Yes, that's right.
01:58Interestingly, at the burlesque shows,
02:00the idea of having someone come out
02:01and perform in front of the curtain was a new idea,
02:04and it was usually to fill time
02:06so that they could reset the stage
02:08and whatever was the bigger show
02:09that was happening behind there.
02:11So these shows would be 10 to 15 minutes,
02:14which is amazing because in present day comedy,
02:17that's how long a set is.
02:19We call them spots.
02:21That's what my gym teacher used to say.
02:22Spots!
02:23I'm sure it's also what your general practitioner says
02:26when you drop your pants.
02:28That brings me to you.
02:29Uh-oh.
02:30I would like for you to try your hand
02:32at some joke telling.
02:33Right now?
02:34No.
02:35Okay, good.
02:36We are going to meet with an expert,
02:38a major face in the game.
02:40You?
02:41No, not me.
02:42Bigger.
02:43Ah.
02:44More successful.
02:45Okay.
02:46More celebrated.
02:47All right.
02:47More genre-bending.
02:48What does that mean?
02:49This person is changing the game,
02:50much like the people we mentioned earlier.
02:52Ever heard of Hannah Burner?
02:54Of course.
02:55Coming off a hot Netflix special,
02:56she's got a huge podcast,
02:57and she's going to join us to judge your jokes.
03:04I fully expect to fail.
03:06Well, let's set the bar a little higher.
03:08How about we're hoping for Cs or better?
03:11I'll take D.
03:12You would take a D.
03:14You know what I'm saying?
03:15Look at that.
03:16Rubbing off on you.
03:17Came to your side of the aisle.
03:18Rubbing off on you, pal.
03:19Yeah.
03:20No, I would like 70 or above.
03:24That's why we need to prepare.
03:25And we are going to dig in and heighten our focus,
03:29fueled by Proper Wild.
03:31Clean all day energy.
03:33Excellent.
03:34Cheers, brother.
03:36Good luck.
03:41Okay, Mr. Beers.
03:42The time is now.
03:43We are here at the Grizzly Pear.
03:45We're here with Proper Wild, as ever.
03:48Clean all day energy.
03:49Thank you to Proper Wild for getting us focused
03:52and giving us the boost we need
03:53to have Dana potentially fall flat on his face
03:56in front of Hannah Burner,
03:57an established and respected comedian,
03:59as you try your hand at some stand-up comedy
04:01for the very first time.
04:02You nervous?
04:03Yes.
04:04Talk to me what you got.
04:05I'm not the brightest bulb.
04:06I would drive by this car every day.
04:08I gotta lead it up more, right?
04:10I gotta lead it up.
04:11Where am I starting from?
04:12Start over?
04:12Where you stopped from.
04:13As I mentioned, I'm not the brightest bulb in the-
04:15That's not where you stopped.
04:16And on the side, it said K-9.
04:18Don't you think we should have
04:20a more age-appropriate breed?
04:22I said, what the heck?
04:22He must not know how old I am.
04:24You think she'll be cool with like jerking off stuff?
04:26Absolutely.
04:27It wasn't anything weird.
04:27I'm not the feds.
04:29It wasn't anything sketchy.
04:30I'm not worried.
04:31So one day I was lying down, jerking off.
04:33All over my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pillow.
04:35I was killing my dick one day.
04:38I called my mom.
04:39Oh my God.
04:40I was like, what do I do?
04:41You shouldn't tell us that.
04:42You certainly shouldn't say it on camera.
04:44That's good.
04:45I got a feeling we're only gonna be telling one joke.
04:48Would you tell this joke?
04:49Absolutely.
04:50Okay.
04:51Come on!
04:52That's funny.
04:53Yeah?
04:53I mean, come on.
04:54Yeah?
04:55That's a funny joke.
04:56We wrote a funny joke together.
04:57We'll see if I can do it up there,
04:59but that felt good.
05:03Hannah, thank you for being here.
05:04This is Hannah Berner,
05:06Netflix star, host of Giggly Squad,
05:09being Burns, formerly of Summer House fame,
05:12now of Fame fame.
05:15So glad to have you, and I appreciate it.
05:19Thank you for having me in this beautiful bar in Midtown.
05:22I've got Dana Beers in the back.
05:24Who's that?
05:25Dana Beers is an idiot.
05:28And he's my idiot.
05:30And I have been teaching him over the course
05:33of many lessons, all different things.
05:34And today, I would love it if you would sort of grade him.
05:40Simon Cowell.
05:41Absolutely.
05:42Is he a funny guy in the office?
05:44He's very funny.
05:45So like, when you walk around, you see him,
05:47you're like, we'll have a good exchange?
05:48Yes.
05:49Dana might have a Netflix special
05:50coming in a couple of years.
05:51I will kill myself if that happens.
05:56All right.
05:57Oh my God, I'm never in this position.
06:00This is fun.
06:01Time to be judgy.
06:02Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage,
06:05Dana Beers!
06:11How we doing?
06:13So I grew up in a pretty nice town.
06:17It was a very safe town.
06:18It was actually so safe that we had a cop
06:21that lived on our street.
06:23So I would drive up and down this street every single day.
06:26And I noticed on the side, it said K-9.
06:29In my head, I'm good.
06:31I have aged out of his jurisdiction.
06:33I'm a junior in high school.
06:35So one day I'm driving past and I'm going pretty fast.
06:40This is a neighborhood.
06:41And I'm going about 50 miles an hour
06:43and I see the lights behind me.
06:45And it is the K-9 cop.
06:49Now in my head again, I am unarrestable.
06:51I'm good.
06:52I'm out of his jurisdiction.
06:53So I roll the window down.
06:55Not many words are said, but I said, I pissed him off a little.
07:00I said, hey man, you can't arrest me.
07:02I'm a junior in high school.
07:04I'm out of your jurisdiction.
07:05So he walks away.
07:09And all of a sudden, I see this massive dog
07:11jump out of his car.
07:12This German Shepherd, the biggest German Shepherd
07:15I've ever seen, foaming at the mouth.
07:17He jumps in my car and he starts ripping at my leg.
07:21I can't believe they're allowing dogs this size
07:25to police kindergartners.
07:29I mean, at least can we start with a Chihuahua?
07:33Maybe once they start to ride bikes,
07:34we can pull in the golden doodles.
07:37And when they actually are, you know,
07:39committing violent crimes, we call the local kill shelter.
07:42We bring in the pit bull.
07:44So I've really never acted my age.
07:48There's one particular incident that reminds me of that
07:50where I was laying down in bed and I was doing my thing.
07:55And by that, I mean, I was jerking off.
07:57And I get this email that says, we know what you're doing.
08:01You're on a list.
08:02And so my first inclination after I lose my boner
08:05is call my mother.
08:07And I tell her, mom, I think the feds are coming.
08:10I think I'm in trouble.
08:11And she tells me, she's the sweetest angel on earth.
08:13She tells me, Dana, I'm ashamed of you.
08:16This is disgusting.
08:17There needs to be some type of separation
08:20between what you just told me and our relationship.
08:23And she hangs up.
08:25It was brutal, man.
08:27Just absolutely brutal.
08:29I was about five seconds away from busting
08:31on my race car bed.
08:33Wow.
08:34Dana Beard.
08:38All right.
08:39Why don't we start, Hannah, with your overall thoughts?
08:43Well, hi, Dana.
08:44Hi, Hannah.
08:44I'm Dana.
08:45Nice to meet you.
08:46Nice to meet you.
08:47You have great stage presence.
08:49My knees are shaking a little.
08:50Immediately, though, I felt like we're
08:52going to have fun regardless if nothing makes sense
08:55that you say.
08:56Should I get to the?
08:57Yeah.
08:58Yeah.
09:00We're going to have her grade you
09:02on three specific categories.
09:05Joke structure slash writing, stage presence,
09:09and, like, overall funny.
09:11What do we start with?
09:12Joke structure writing.
09:13Joke structure slash writing.
09:14Be mean.
09:14Be as mean as you want.
09:15OK, if we're being honest, like,
09:17full Russian gymnastics coach, it was a little bit fast.
09:22But that's just because you're nervous.
09:23If you do it again, you do it slower.
09:25Yes.
09:26And a little wordy.
09:28I think it might have had a little bit of your style on it.
09:31But you speak in elegant script, you know?
09:34It doesn't fit him at all.
09:35It might have not fit him as wordy.
09:38So I think we're going to give a C for writing.
09:40Wow, OK.
09:41Yeah, I hadn't heard any of these jokes.
09:43So that is generous to me.
09:47No, and the first one I really like, too.
09:49Like, I like the idea.
09:50They're real stories.
09:51They're both very real.
09:52And then there's a little bit of trying to make it funny.
09:56Stage presence.
09:58Really?
09:59I loved it.
09:59Oh my god, I was nervous.
10:00I loved his stage presence.
10:02And the last is just overall funny.
10:04I think there's real potential.
10:05But right now, we have work to do.
10:07I have to give you a C plus, if we're being honest.
10:11C plus is awesome.
10:12This was awesome.
10:13You did great.
10:14Like, I would continue listening to him.
10:16I wouldn't leave the club.
10:19All right, so that's a C for writing,
10:23a C plus for overall funny, and an A plus for stage presence,
10:28which I think probably averages out to, like, a B,
10:32maybe a B minus, which is pretty darn good, Dana.
10:34That's pretty good for day one.
10:35I do think comedy is not about not being nervous.
10:38It's how you perform when you're nervous.
10:41That's it.
10:41And the best way to combat nerves and to stay sharp
10:45is with proper wild.
10:46We appreciate you guys.
10:47Clean all day energy.
10:49Cheers, buddy.
10:50Cheers, guys.
10:51Great job.
10:52Woo!