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Video Information: 17.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ Why do people commit suicide?
~ What is the end of suffering?
~ Are we actually living?
~ What is the worst that happens when I die?
~ What is the reason of suicide?
~ Why do people commit suicide?
~ How can we check it properly?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
📚 Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
📝 Read 3 handpicked wisdom articles, just for you: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/articl...
➖➖➖➖➖➖
Video Information: 17.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida
Context:
~ Why do people commit suicide?
~ What is the end of suffering?
~ Are we actually living?
~ What is the worst that happens when I die?
~ What is the reason of suicide?
~ Why do people commit suicide?
~ How can we check it properly?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Good evening to one and all present here. Thanks a lot, sir, for coming here, Acharya
00:13Pachand sir. Today we feel really blessed to have you to address us in Actus SLCE students.
00:20You have been really kind enough to accept our invitation, so we really thank you for
00:24that. Although, sir, you don't need an introduction, but because this is a podcast which will be
00:28published, that means that we have to share some things about you. Acharya Pachand sir
00:35is an acclaimed Vedanta executive to a national bestseller and also a national bestselling
00:40author for over 100 books. He's a powerful force of socio-spiritual transformation who
00:45has been helping people around the world with his knowledge and expertise. Today, millions
00:51of people are inspired by Acharya Pachand sir. He continues to share his wisdom to masses
00:57through various offline and online channels. Sir, it's an honor to welcome you to address
01:02us students of Actus SLCE. Welcome all of you. Good afternoon, sir. Sir, my question
01:10is related to midlife crisis. Midlife crisis is a rising trend in society and unfortunately
01:18students within the age bracket of 20 to 30 are getting midlife crisis. So why they are
01:25getting this and how to deal with this? See, what you call as a midlife crisis, irrespective
01:40of the age when it hits you, is basically a blow of the truth. So, as
02:09a college student, as a young man or a woman, you have been taught to have certain dreams.
02:29You have been conditioned to have certain dreams and you will not invest yourself in
02:38those dreams unless it is simultaneously assured to you that the dreams will get you
02:54happiness and fulfillment. Right? Will you buy something without an assurance that the
03:05thing will fetch you happiness, etc? You essentially buy a promise of fulfillment
03:16and happiness irrespective of what you buy. Right? Otherwise you will not invest yourself
03:25in the thing or the idea or the dream or the person or the job or the ideology or the lifestyle.
03:33All these are things, all this is stuff that we are made to buy into. Right? And we are
03:51convinced that if we buy into these things then the result will be satisfactory. Obviously,
04:04the sellers of these dreams and ideologies and lifestyles will not want you to question
04:19these things because it becomes difficult to sell something spurious if the customer
04:36is too investigative. Right? No salesman enjoys a very inquisitive customer. So, these are not
04:56presented to us as things or options. These are presented to us as inevitable truths.
05:08You have to have a certain kind of lifestyle. As a young person, life is more or less scripted
05:20for you and the script is inviolable. It's not optional. It is the truth. See, only the truth
05:33is inviolable. Everything else is simply optional and if something is presented to you as inexorable,
05:43something you just cannot avoid, then it is being presented to you as the truth. Right?
05:51Irrespective of whether the presenters use that word or not. So, as gullible young persons,
06:06you start believing in the script. You start thinking that obviously this alone is life.
06:15What else? What else? You start using words like commonsensical, obviously. So, someone asks you,
06:30what are you going to do after college? And a lot of you will say, obviously, I'll get into a job.
06:39Obviously. And we have been conditioned to such an extent that it does not remain even faintly
06:56visible that there is nothing obvious or inviolable or final in this. That this must be a matter of
07:09conscious choice. You have to think over it. Visualize a day in your life at the age of 30.
07:23Visualize. Visualize a typical day in your life at the age of 30. And you'd be amazed,
07:35if I ask you to pen down your visualization. Let me just hand over a piece of paper to each of you
07:43and ask you to jot down whatever has sprung in your mind. You'll be amazed the kind of similarities
07:52you will find in your descriptions. 70 to 80 percent overlap. How is that possible? The elements
08:07of your typical day at the age of 30 would include a job or a business, a husband or a wife, a kid or
08:17a couple of them, a house, a vehicle of your choice. Some of you would be thinking of a foreign country.
08:25Right? Right? Now, who gave these ideas to you? Don't tell me it's commonsensical. I don't have
08:42that sense. Who gave those ideas to you? How does it become like a law of nature that these things
08:56will but naturally happen? How did this get into your mind and strike such deep roots?
09:09And all of this is very intricately related to the thing called midlife crisis. We are not
09:18needlessly going into it. How did this enter your mind? Please tell me. But when it enters your mind
09:30and once it takes a seat there, you know the tragedy is that it no more remains social. It
09:39becomes personal. You do not say, my dream is a social one. What do you say? It's my personal
09:47goal. This is what I personally love. The thing is, even the entity you call as the person is
09:56just a social construct. There is hardly any individuality in our existence. We are biological
10:03and social beings. The hardware comes from biology and the software comes from society,
10:17education, influences and such things. So, there is nothing of our own really in our existence,
10:23our life, our mind, our thoughts, our emotions, our opinions. So, you have bought into all those
10:33dreams. And there is hardly any variety in those dreams. That's what used to bore me about them
10:43when I was your age. I mean, come on. Maybe I'll subscribe to what you're trying to sell me,
10:50but at least show me some options. Like a good customer. I want to feel empowered. I want to
11:00feel I have choice. So, I would say, come on, show me some choice. There would be not much
11:08choice even for namesake. Job, money, wife, kids. Please, something else. Add to the list or remove
11:25something from the list. So, there would be some very fickle and unimportant kind of additions or
11:35deletions. The core would remain the same. And the core remains the same for everybody. It has
11:44remained the same, much the same for you people also. And that's what explains the midlife crisis.
11:48The stuff that you bought into at the age of 20 or 25 starts showing up as fake,
11:56useless, spurious by the age of 35 or 40. And that's what you call as a midlife crisis. But
12:07by then it is just too late. You have made irreversible decisions and deep investments
12:13you just cannot now get out of. That's what is midlife crisis. Are you getting it? So,
12:25that midlife crisis that you experience at the age of 35 or 40 or 45 is actually something that
12:32gets initiated decades earlier. It got initiated when you entered class 11th and you didn't know
12:44whether to go for commerce or science or medicine or arts or whatever. And then somebody told you,
12:51you pick up this particular stream and you will be happy. And you just didn't know anything and
12:59you enrolled into a particular stream. That's when the whole thing began. And then it kept
13:08snowballing as you kept moving on in life. It just kept getting bigger and bigger like a balloon
13:18inflating in size. But the balloon cannot keep gaining volume infinitely. A time comes,
13:28a day comes when it just bursts. That's what we call as midlife crisis. All hot air is what the
13:36life of a youngster is about. Just hot air, gas, a lot of gas. And gas can't survive for too long.
13:46Ever seen an everlasting balloon? But then that's what we are all busy blowing up. It bursts. And
14:01when it bursts, there is a sudden crash. You lose energy, you lose motivation, you just don't know
14:07what to do with life. All you're left with is a lot of frustration and repentance. And you get
14:16terribly irritable. And you start aging very rapidly. That's why when you hit 60, something
14:32called senility strikes you. Have you heard the word senile? What does that mean? Senile. What
14:43does that mean? But what does that denote psychologically? If you say someone's gone
14:50senile, what does that mean? Gone kind of insane. That's senility. And that's supposed to hit you
15:05when you hit 60. Senility. In Hindi you call it satyana. You see how it's related to sat, satyana.
15:18Now what's it about 60 that your mind totally goes bonkers? Nothing but a realization of a
15:28life all failed. A failed life. It need not begin at 60. It used to be at 60, then it started
15:40happening at 35, 40. Now the questioner says it is happening at 20. Why is it happening so early?
15:48And it's a good thing, right? If you're failing, it's a great thing to realize early that you are
15:54failing. So that you have the opportunity to make some amendments. If you realize at the age
15:59of 60 or 80 that you have lived a failed life, you don't even have the time to make corrections.
16:04Are we together? Now how is it that the so-called midlife crisis is striking you much earlier than
16:14before? It is because the quantum of dreams that you are carrying today is much bigger than before
16:26and it's coming to you much earlier. So people used to get into relationships at the age of 25,
16:3630 something. Today all that begins in class 5, right? That which you call as the nibbanibbi
16:44phenomena. So when at the age of 10, you are already into it, then at the age of 20 or 25,
16:56you know that you have entered midlife crisis. Because the life of desire had begun just too
17:09soon. The life of consumption had begun just too soon. You want everything early, right?
17:19Today they say you must have a mark at 25, only then life is successful. People used to buy their
17:28first Maruti 800 after retirement. So a lot of people are getting a lot of things way too early.
17:40And therefore, the subsequent disappointment and disillusionment also comes earlier. So the kind
17:58of depression people used to experience at 40 is now being experienced at 25. Because the experiences
18:05that they would accumulate till 40 are now being had in a much shorter time span. They would take
18:2140 years to have those kind of experiences that you guys are having within a short span of 10-15
18:29years now. You travel much more, you consume much more. The internet has widened the scope
18:43of your experiences much more. You can get into serial relationships, which was not happening
18:53earlier. So in some sense, you have the opportunity to be wizened much earlier.
19:03Have you seen those black and white movies of 50s and 60s? What would be the typical age of the hero?
19:17I thought 50s. Think of Ashok Kumar. Think of Raj Kapoor. Probably they began in their 30s.
19:30But they always looked quite great down. Impressive because old. And think of the
19:45kind of screen heroes that you have today. Forget the oldies, who are just statues that
20:00tradition has installed and those statues won't fall anytime soon. Otherwise think of the new
20:07entrants, the new faces that you see on the screen. They all look pretty young, not just young,
20:13rather juvenile, even immature. So the onset of consumption, the onset of desire is happening
20:32much earlier, much earlier. It's a very strange thing, very very strange thing. It happened
20:44just yesterday here in Bodhisattva. So we got three new rabbit friends yesterday. All
20:59kids, small. So they have just arrived here yesterday and they are just a few months of age.
21:08So they need to be, rabbits need to be neutered. They need to be neutered after they reach six or
21:19seven months of age because that's when they start showing adult behavior and start mating.
21:24Before that they don't need to be neutered. But the doctor, the vet, he said something quite
21:33unusual, very interesting. He said, no, no, no, you can't wait for six, seven months nowadays.
21:39Rabbits start displaying adult behavior at three months of age. So he asked him,
21:47but why? He said human proximity. Humans have grown so sexual that even the animals who live
21:58in their proximity start showing sexual behavior at an earlier age. Now, I don't really fully
22:08believe this thesis that the vet has proposed. But even if there is a grain of truth in it,
22:14it's a very important pointer as to where we are headed and where we stand.
22:21You know that the average age of onset of puberty in human kids, it has decreased to like 10 years
22:37or something. That which used to show up at 13 or 14 is now emerging at 10 or 11.
22:47You know how girls are beginning to have their periods
22:53way earlier than what used to happen a few decades before.
22:57Now, from where is that coming? All that is coming from an environment that is continuously
23:09provoking you, titillating you, instigating desire in you.
23:15So, a lot of consumption, desires, this, that. And that which will begin earlier
23:30will also crash earlier. That crash is what you call as a midlife crisis.
23:37My opinion, it's not necessarily bad. If at the age of 25 itself you can be disillusioned
23:46from the usual script, the usual pattern, the usual conditioning,
23:52then probably something new, fresh can open up for you.
23:55It was that kind of a crash that resulted in the phenomena that we today know of as Gautam Buddha and Vardhaman Mahavir.
24:20In some way, it was midlife crisis that struck them. They had everything.
24:26And they were brought up on a huge dose of consumption, all kinds of consumption.
24:34Riches, prestige, knowledge, women, whatever they wanted had been made available to them. In fact,
24:42much more than they could ever want had been forcibly made available to them.
24:47Forcibly so that they do not become renunciates. That's how the story goes. At least with respect
24:58to the Buddha. His father was afraid that this chap has other plans. He will not stay put in
25:07the palace and he will probably take some other path. So he tried to immerse Buddha into all kinds
25:18of material luxuries. And that only hastened the process of Buddha's disillusionment.
25:30He said, all that could be had, that could be consumed or enjoyed or experienced, I've already had and it has failed on me.
25:45I still feel wretched and hollow within.
25:52So why continue this kind of life? Obviously, fulfillment lies elsewhere.
25:56So let me go out and try. So I wish all of you get an early crisis.
26:15It's better to be painfully struck with reality than to live in a fool's paradise all lifelong.
26:27Though that's what the ego wants. The ego says, don't show me the mirror, don't tell me the truth.
26:35Let me live in my fanciful dreams my entire life. Wish that could be true.
26:42What would you rather have? A painful blow of the truth?
27:01Or cozy, wooly, sweet dreams?
27:13Such a loud declaration, an utter roar of the truth we just heard.
27:28Now that explains the crisis.
27:33We are born to be deceived.
27:35Our natural composition is such that we want to remain stupid.
27:47Not anybody's fault. That's how we are born. That's how everybody is born.
27:51We have a strong tendency to favor self-illusion.
27:58Even if truth stares us in the face, we will refuse it.
28:06Unfortunately, that cannot continue for too long. When facts and imaginations collide,
28:19you know what gets shattered. Nobody can shatter facts. Dreams crash.
28:27But your entire culture and all your teachers and well-wishers,
28:37they want you to chase your dreams, don't they? And the whole motivation industry.
28:44Come on, chase your dreams. I support them. I say chase your dreams even more hard.
28:53I support them. I say chase your dreams even more wholeheartedly,
28:59so that you can very soon realize that your dreams are nonsensical.
29:09In fact, those who are very sincere towards their dreams will be the first one
29:16to reject their dreams, to evolve beyond their dreams,
29:20because they have been sincere in pursuing their dreams.
29:24The worst condition is of those who maintain dreams, yet never pursue them wholeheartedly,
29:33so that they remain in some kind of perpetual hope.
29:38So there is a dream. Yeah, one day the dream will come true and then I will be happy.
29:45So if you have some dream, and as young people obviously will be having dreams,
29:49I say go after it with all that you have. Go after it so that you can see its futility.
30:01Otherwise, all that I'm saying from this position right now
30:06will not appear true or even tasteful to you.
30:11Materialize at least a few of your dreams, so that you can see their falseness,
30:16so that you can see that there is just nothing in that.
30:22Obviously, you are far luckier if you can see the futility of these so-called dreams.
30:32Far luckier if you can see the futility of these so-called dreams.
30:39Mind you, remember how we began. We said your dreams are not your dreams.
30:44They have been drilled into you by the society.
30:49And anyway, now that you've started calling them your own,
30:51lucky are the few who can spontaneously, just by observation and their insight,
31:01realize that the dream business is all hollow and futile.
31:08Realize that there is nothing individualistic about our dreams and goals and targets.
31:16Those are the lucky few.
31:17Most of you will need some kind of a crash to regain your senses.
31:34Otherwise, we remain in some kind of intoxicated state.
31:40Where the dream business is everything and everybody has the same dream.
31:48Gather a crowd of hundred, ask them, can you list five dreams that you have
31:57and you find that you are the only one who has the same dream.
32:01Ask them, can you list five dreams that you have
32:08and you find that all hundred have at least three shared dreams.
32:14Will that happen or not?
32:16And still each of them is calling those dreams as,
32:21Oh, this is my personal dream.
32:23How can it be personal if you share it with so many people?
32:25Obviously, it is neither yours nor his nor her.
32:30It is coming from some other source and that some other source
32:34has managed to embed the same dream in each of you.
32:39You don't see that.
32:43You start calling your ambitions, your desires, your targets as your own.
33:00This is not the kind of happy beginning you would have probably wanted to the discussion.
33:07But then the fault is all yours.
33:11You come here, that's the first fault.
33:14Then you begin with such a question.
33:18That's another thing just upon you.
33:19I have nothing to do with it.
33:22I'll simply respond to what you put in front of me.
33:28Mostly, it will not appear very delicious.
33:40Pardon me for that.
33:46Yes.
33:47What I think one of the major reason for midlife crisis is larger than life image that movies and
33:56OTT platforms portray.
33:59So, these movies are manipulating the kids and more importantly,
34:03manipulating the reality and young stars are also relying on them.
34:09So, why did this happen and how to deal with this situation?
34:13You see, you buy into an entire book.
34:26You cannot know, we can choose among the chapters of the book.
34:37How is it possible that you continue to believe in chapter one, chapter two, chapter three,
34:47four, five, six, and then you say chapter eight and nine, I will not believe, I'll not
34:56accept and I'll not implement in my life.
35:00That's not possible.
35:01Where do movies come from?
35:05Where do movies come from?
35:07All this movie business is very deeply related to the kind of lives that you live.
35:15You cannot continue to have the lives that you have and yet avoid movies.
35:22See, that's a very lucrative business.
35:26See, that's a very lucrative argument that many of us internally cultivate.
35:36We say, no, everything is okay about our life.
35:39It's the movies that are spoiling the culture.
35:42The question is, where are the movies coming from?
35:43They are coming from the same ecosystem that is breeding you.
35:49It's impossible to have the life that you have and not have the movies that you have.
35:54Your life is boring because it lacks authenticity.
35:59Therefore, you need movies that involve thrill, adventure, sex, violence, and juicy songs
36:05and all those things.
36:08Had your lives been different, would you have required movies like that?
36:13And as long as your lives are what they are, you will continue to need those movies.
36:18And as long as your lives are what they are, you will continue to need those movies.
36:25But we like to put all the blame on the movies.
36:28We say, oh, no, no, no, life is okay.
36:30Movies are spoiling it.
36:32But sir, the movies do not drop from the heavens.
36:36The movies are a product of the society that we are.
36:43Otherwise, the movies would have flopped.
36:45Who patronizes those movies?
36:46Who needs those movies?
36:47Who pays for those movies?
36:49We do, right?
36:50We are not dragged to the halls.
36:53We go there on our own and we book the tickets.
36:58And we sometimes buy very expensive tickets because the regular ones are not available.
37:05And even the popcorn basket or tub would cost sometimes 500 or 1000 rupees.
37:12And you still go for it.
37:14Then why blame the movies?
37:16We are dying to watch those movies.
37:18Are we not?
37:19And why are we dying to watch those movies?
37:22Because that's the way our life is.
37:24And why is our life the way it is?
37:26Because that's the script.
37:28That's what our culture has told us.
37:31That's what our education has told us.
37:32Our upbringing has told us that this is the kind of life that you have to live.
37:37And that kind of life necessitates movies and is also reflected in movies.
37:46Are you getting it?
37:48And that's the reason why the brand and genre of movies that you have in India is very different
37:55from what you have in Iran or what you have in Korea or what you have in the US.
38:01Just by the looks of it, you can spot an Indian movie.
38:05Because that movie is springing from the Indian life.
38:10So, movies will continue to remain the way they are as long as life in India continues
38:17to remain the way.
38:18And where is the Indian life coming from?
38:23Thoughtless conditioning.
38:25You have to do this because it is supposed to be done this way.
38:30So, that's where life is coming from.
38:31And that's also where movies are coming from.
38:35And the more our life changes, the more our movies too will change.
38:43Today, if someone makes a really path-breaking movie, what do you think?
38:50It bombs in a big way.
38:53The producer, the financer, they will be bankrupt on the streets.
38:58Because the Indian life is not yet ready to accept something path-breaking.
39:05We want to live the way the script has told us to live.
39:12And we want to live the way the script has told us to live.
39:16And we take the script as respectable, inviolable, and all that.