Sometimes, wrestling isn't enough. Some Stipulations are great but some are just...pray for us all. Here are the 10 Worst Wrestling Stipulations. Comment below which of WWE's stipulations do YOU think was the worst?
0:00 - Introduction
1:10 - #10
2:22 - #9
3:15 - #8
4:19 - #7
5:11 - #6
6:24 - #5
7:29 - #4
8:29 - #3
9:35 - #2
10:34 - #1
#WWE #WWETop10 #WWEStipulations
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0:00 - Introduction
1:10 - #10
2:22 - #9
3:15 - #8
4:19 - #7
5:11 - #6
6:24 - #5
7:29 - #4
8:29 - #3
9:35 - #2
10:34 - #1
#WWE #WWETop10 #WWEStipulations
WrestleTalk Podcasts are moving here 👉 https://bit.ly/3pEAEIu
Adam Blampied's lists are moving here 👉 https://bit.ly/32JJsCv
Wrestling Daily has moved here 👉 https://bit.ly/3j3BXOZ
WrestleTalk stays here 👉 https://goo.gl/WfYA12 |
SUBSCRIBE TO THEM ALL! 🔔Make sure to enable ALL push notifications!🔔
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/partsfunknown
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/partsfunknown/
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SportsTranscript
00:00Sometimes, wrestling isn't enough. After all, the best cards are variety shows. Little
00:05bits of technical mat grappling here, a little bit of hardcore spotfest there, a sprinkling
00:09of high-flying, a sous-en of two hosses clubbing red nightmares out of each other, a comedy
00:14match featuring two invisible wrestlers, main event rinse repeat. Familiarity breeds contempt,
00:19after all, and over the years, bookers have tried to freshen up stale feud, artificially
00:22heightened drama, and spike ticket sales with increasingly elaborate, high-concept, and
00:26often bonkers stipulations. Oh, this isn't just any match, this is an Elimination Chamber
00:32Match, a Falls Count Anywhere Match, a Stairs Match. Some stipulations are great, but loads
00:42have been handicapped hog pens of tedious bollocks. Hell, the Stairs Match didn't
00:46even make this list. These are all worse than a Stairs Match. Pray for us all. I'm Adam
00:51Hailing from PartsFunknown, and here are the 10 Worst Wrestling Stipulations Ever.
00:56Before we kick into the list, how about the greatest stipulation of all, the please subscribe
01:01to our channel on a poll match. To win it, you have to click subscribe. And then you
01:08win. Thank you. Goodbye.
01:10Number 10, Hard 10 Match. I mean, I couldn't not. Number 10, Hard 10, you get it. So Impact
01:15Wrestling used to be known as TNA. You're going to hear those three letters a lot. Desperately
01:19trying to market themselves as different to WWE, TNA threw eight cows worth of convoluted,
01:24nonsensical s*** at a wall and very little of it stuck. For example, the Hard 10 Match
01:28from TNA's early years, which they brought in for one tournament and never used again.
01:33It was so bad that TNA only used it once. That's saying something.
01:38The premise of the stipulation is, hey, you know what hardcore matches need? Maths. Hard
01:4210 Match was hardcore rules, except the only way to win is to get 10 points. You get one
01:47point for a quote, direct hit with an object, five points for putting someone through a
01:51table. And also you have to win by at least two points in order to win. It's like a mixture
01:58of wrestling and board games and somehow I hate it. What's a direct hit? Can you just
02:02jab someone with a pencil 10 times? Why the two point thing? Is this tennis? It's New
02:08Jack versus Sandman. I don't think it's tennis. Why do you have board game catch up mechanics
02:13in a death match? They're death matches. It's like putting a chocolate cake in front of
02:17someone saying have a slice, but only if it's exactly two fourteenths of the whole
02:21cake.
02:22Number nine, shark cage match. No, not the ones with someone suspended above the ring
02:26in a shark cage. Those are a bit bad, but fundamentally okay, at least when they don't
02:30feature Enzo slithering out of one like a gecko in a strip club. I mean the old type
02:35of shark cage match that the territories once booked, i.e. two dudes battering each other
02:39inside of one inside the ring. It's like that scene from Jaws, only there's two James
02:43Dreyfusses. They're both pissed up on dark fruit and lumping each other for a drop quid
02:47on a bathroom floor. There's one on YouTube featuring Chief J. Strongway versus Bulldog
02:51Don Kent, and it's so weird. Two men just hitting each other over and over again with
02:55the aim being the first to escape the shark cage, but their roughhousing keeps opening
03:00the door and they have to struggle to make sure they don't accidentally win with the
03:03ref having to actually hold the door shut in places. It's hilarious, for a bit, and
03:08then it just gets really f***ing boring because they can't do anything because they're inside
03:12a shark cage.
03:148. Blindfold Match
03:15And speaking of boring, oh doctor, two wrestlers wearing bags on their heads, very slowly walking
03:21around a ring, gesturing like clowns, and not fighting each other. Now some of you historians
03:26will point to the most famous blindfold match, Jake Roberts versus Rick Martel at Mania 7
03:30as being good. You are wrong about that. It's the same thing over and over again. Roberts
03:36points around the ring as the crowd shout to help him find Martel. They miss each other,
03:40or have a very brief scuffle, and then you do it again, and again, and again, and again,
03:47and again, and again, and again, whilst also making one of the coolest characters in WWE
03:53history, the super composed Jake Roberts, scramble around on the mat like a dog. I was
03:58saying booerns.
03:59TNA had a famously terrible blindfold match at Lockdown 2007, featuring James Storm and
04:04Chris Harris, where the bags kept falling off their f***ing heads. This was a blood
04:08feud between former tag partners. Can you imagine Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa
04:12main eventing TakeOver New Orleans with f***ing bags on their heads, falling down and going
04:17whoopsie?
04:18Eye for an eye match. It's a ping pong ball. I don't know what I wanted from a finish
04:25for this match. Wasn't this though. So much like TNA doing mad things to compete with
04:30the big dub, during 2020 WWE did a whole bunch of mad things to compete with the crushing
04:34reality that no fans wrestling is bollocks. Cue this turd, the highest stupidest concept
04:39in years. To win, one wrestler must extract the eyeball of their opponent. Are you okay
04:45WWE? Talk about booking your talent into a corner. You have a match so conceptually horrific
04:50that you know they can't actually follow through on the thing they're promising, so you spend
04:53the entire match completely disengaged from the good work Seth Rollins and Rey Mysterio
04:57is doing, waiting for the disconcerting smoke and mirrors to kick in, watching two really
05:02good wrestlers doing their best to come close, but not actually do the thing the company
05:06advertised them as doing because that would not be very sports entertaining of them.
05:106. Fight for the right Hi TNA, good to see you again. You can just
05:15imagine the writers meeting that went into this one. So what do we do? Battle royal?
05:19There's been a lot of those. Reverse battle royal? What's a reverse battle royal? Everyone
05:24has to, I don't know, get in the ring. Cool, that's lunch. It doesn't work. The fight
05:30for the right concept is this. You have a load of wrestlers outside a ring. They fight
05:33to try and get in the ring. Once about half the wrestlers are in there, everyone who didn't
05:38make it is then eliminated. Then they do a battle royal, only forwards this time, until
05:44there are two people left. Then they do a match. Got it? Good. Except the order people
05:49are eliminated in the not reverse part of the battle royal determines the seeding for
05:54a single elimination tournament, the winner of which faces the winner of the singles match
05:59at the end of the original battle royal. Look, it's very simple. Let's start from the
06:04top. Vince Russo was born at the end. Not only is that complicated to the point of having
06:08no stakes, just the act of seeing people battling to get into the ring, it doesn't work. Don't
06:13fight each other. Just rush into the ring and see what happens. Stop wandering around
06:17outside looking for people to punch. Just get in the ring. F***. Doesn't work. Doesn't work
06:22so hard.
06:235. King of the Mountain Match Hey, you've heard of a reverse battle royal.
06:27How about a reverse ladder match? It's different. It's TNA. So what you think a reverse ladder
06:33match is, you're right. Climb a ladder, hang about over the ring to win. Simple. You're
06:38right. It's too simple. In a King of the Mountain match, five wrestlers start and before they
06:42climb the ladder, they have to become eligible to climb it by pinning or submitting someone
06:47else with the person they beat having to spend two minutes in a shark cage to think about
06:51all the career choices that led them to this point. Hey, cool, a shark cage. Does that
06:54mean we can get two minutes of formless ugly brawling if two dudes get locked in at the
06:58same time? Sure does fill your boot. Then, once you're eligible, you got to get the
07:03belt from the ref, but once it's got, other people can steal it, unless you drop it, in
07:07which case it has to go back to the official. Sort of. Most of the time. It's madness. Like
07:12I sort of understand why TNA stuck with the concept for ten pissing years. Five dudes
07:17in a ladder match is more often than not going to have a few decent moments, but then just
07:21do a five-way ladder match. There's rethinking the wheel, then there's adding four more
07:25wheels to a wheel so it becomes a square and it doesn't turn like a wheel.
07:294. On a Pole Match
07:31Eric Bischoff has Elimination Chamber, Chris Jericho has Money in the Bank, this is Vince
07:36Russo's legacy. He didn't invent them, of course, but he sure did bring us the worst
07:39iterations of dudes fighting for a bit then scampering to grab a thing on a pole like
07:42a cat trying to catch a feather. Stop making your wrestlers look uncool. Stop it. There's
07:47been loads of things suspended from poles over the years. Contracts, kendo sticks, biker
07:51chains, Viagra. Wrestling's just f***ing tops, isn't it? A mum. A mum on a pole. A
07:55forklift, technically, but it fits the brief. TNA's Feast or Fired match, where there
07:59are four briefcases on poles, some have title shots in them, but one has a pink slip. And
08:03if you get it, you're fired. But if you lose the match, you're not fired. So why
08:07would you try and win the match?
08:09Finally, worst of all, the San Francisco 49ers match in WCW, where there were four boxes
08:13on poles, one had the WCW championship in it, with the other three containing a coal
08:18miner's glove, a blow-up doll, a picture of recently fired Scott Hall, rib-tickling
08:22stuff, and then the final box fell apart with the belt falling to the floor on the outside.
08:26It's a legacy of tedious wank.
08:29Number 3, Punjabi Prison Match. Oh, I hate the Punjabi Prison Match, more than most people.
08:34It's just… it's unwatchable. So trying to work out what makes a wrestling stipulation
08:39bad, one of the key questions you have to ask is, how much pointless f***ing admin does
08:44it add to the match? Last man standing matches, grinding to a halt every two minutes for a
08:48slow ref count, casket matches dissolving into squabbling over a f***ing lid, and then
08:53there's this. WWE managing to crowbar boring faff into a double cage match. Here's how
08:58it works. You start off inside the small cage, you do a bit of fighting, then call for one
09:02of the small doors in that cage to be opened. If it is, you've got one minute to get through
09:05it, or it's locked forever. So you've got the whole faffing around the door bit
09:08that WWE insist on putting in all of their cage matches, but at least four times. Then
09:13if you're still locked in, you have to climb out of the small cage, get to the outside
09:16cage, which you then need to climb out of in order to win. And all the while, you can't
09:21f***ing see anything, because instead of chain link fence, they put two separate layers of
09:25thick bamboo between the audience and the wrestlers. So you can't, like, I say unwatchable,
09:30you can't watch it. It's a special feat to be boring and literally unviewable.
09:35Number two, brawl for all. Talk about a concept that failed at every single thing it was trying
09:40to accomplish. The brainchild of Vince Russo, WWE created a shoot fight division within
09:45its own roster and had them compete in a tournament of brawl for all matches, which were basically
09:49boxing matches between a bunch of men who didn't know how to box. It was designed to
09:53get over Steve Williams, whoops, it immediately injured him. It was designed to get over its
09:57roster as super tough bar fighting sumbitches, whoops, it just made the competitors look
10:02much less coordinated than the guys who were doing actual, you know, wrestling. It was
10:05designed to promote its new MMA signings, whoops, Ken Shamrock wasn't in it, Steve
10:09Blackman got injured, and Dan Seven did one match then pulled out because he was just
10:12so embarrassed and annoyed by it all. The tournament final between Bradshaw and Bart
10:16Gunn looked like two drunks trying to fight on the deck of a pirate ship. Dangerous, massively
10:20exposing of how fake actual wrestling is, and then Butterbean killed the winner so no
10:25one got over. You know the Simpsons bit where Bart and Lisa walk towards each other punching
10:28and kicking? That's brawl for all, and if you watch it, then it's your own fault.
10:32At number one, Kennel from Hell match, a Punjabi prison match with the added bonus
10:36of putting innocent dogs in harm's way. I don't have a sense of humour when it comes
10:40to animals being frightened by wrestling matches, don't scare animals on purpose. So it's
10:44a tale as old as time, Bossman kills Al Snow's dog and feeds it to him, which is literally
10:48the most Shakespearean WWE has ever been, which was blown off in a match that brought
10:51together the holy trinity of Hell in a Cell match, Cage match, and Doggos. Wrestlers started
10:56in the ring in a small cage, had to escape to the Hell in a Cell part, then get out the
11:00door with the big twist being that the Cell is being patrolled by ravenous, bloodthirsty
11:04dogs. Or at least they wanted ravenous, bloodthirsty dogs. Instead they got a procession of good
11:09boys who, overstimulated by the crowd, just decided to focus on what we all do when we
11:12get overwhelmed, sex and pooping. The dogs completely ignored the wrestlers, humped each
11:16other and generally just lived their best lives. Hashtag Hot Pup Summer. Widely heralded
11:20as one of the worst WWE matches of all time. I mean, yeah. Yes, fair enough.
11:26And that's our list. What's your least favourite wrestling stipulation? Let us know
11:29below and don't forget to like and share this video around if you enjoyed it and subscribe
11:33to PartsFunKnown for more silly wrestling content. Jam that Jam.