Junior Taskmaster Episode 5 - Nice shiny buttons
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00:00BUZZER
00:02Right, let's go.
00:04HE SQUAWKS
00:11Can you tape this to my head?
00:12Oh!
00:15Call plus call.
00:20That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
00:22APPLAUSE
00:24HE LAUGHS
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:35Hello, and welcome to Junior Taskmaster.
00:37I'm Rose Matafeo, but hopefully some of you know that by now.
00:40Now, we've made it to the last heat of the series,
00:42unless you're watching this episode out of order,
00:44which is quite a weird thing for you to be doing.
00:46You're sick. You need help.
00:47LAUGHTER
00:48Just in case you're out of the loop, over the series,
00:5025 children are battling through five heats and two semis
00:54in the hope of reaching the grand final
00:56and getting their pint-sized paws on this.
00:59Ooh!
01:00Yeah.
01:01Fun fact about this head,
01:02its eyes follow you around the room wherever you go.
01:05And at night, it whispers you dark, terrible, haunting things.
01:08Frankly, I need it out of my house.
01:10LAUGHTER
01:11Right, it is time to meet tonight's contestants,
01:13so please give a big, warm welcome to August!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18Olivia!
01:20Ruben!
01:22Garlick!
01:23AC!
01:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:27Nice.
01:29And, of course, what would the junior taskmaster be
01:32without their trusty assistant?
01:33He is a man for all seasons.
01:35He has the twinkling eyes of a shopping mall Santa
01:38and, you know, the general vibe of an old grandfather clock
01:40brought to life by a spell.
01:43It is, of course, Mike Wozniak!
01:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:47Thank you, Rose.
01:49Ultimately, this is really a show about the dangers of cat faeces.
01:55If you find a sandwich on a garden wall
01:57and you don't know where it came from,
01:59check that filling before you eat it.
02:01It could be an unsavoury feline prank.
02:03Remember, don't wrap your trap round a cat flap burp.
02:07LAUGHTER
02:08All right. Let's move on swiftly from that disgusting imagery, Mike,
02:13and I would love to know what tonight's prize task is.
02:15Certainly. Well, for this heat, our prize category
02:18is the most interesting item that fits inside a pillowcase.
02:21Oh. For me personally, that would mean my cousin Spignieff,
02:25who is both extremely knowledgeable about the history
02:26of M4 service stations.
02:28He's also a highly skilled amateur contortionist.
02:30But what does it mean for our contestants, and will Rose agree?
02:35The winner of this episode gets to keep all five really interesting
02:37things if they've got five pillowcases to carry them home in.
02:41Well, I am notoriously disinterested in most things,
02:43and I have a very short attention span, so good luck, children.
02:48August, what is the most impressive thing that can fit
02:51into a pillowcase that you've brought in today?
02:53Well, I went for a concept instead of the actual meaning
02:55of the object, so I went for a chess set.
02:59And I don't really play competitively or in any clubs.
03:03I play for fun, because school, too easy.
03:06I need a challenge.
03:09What kind of age people, mentally, would match you in a chess match?
03:13Um...
03:1440.
03:1740?! You think you would beat me at chess?
03:20Absolutely. OK!
03:23You've brought the board, right? Uh-huh.
03:25But you said you haven't brought the board, you've brought the concept.
03:28OK, so basically, by concept, I mean how I feel towards it.
03:33So, if someone else wins the episode,
03:36how do they take how you feel home with them?
03:40In the chess, in the pillowcase.
03:41So it's a real pillowcase, not an abstract pillowcase.
03:43Real chess board, concept of chess. Got it.
03:45I like the concept of chess as well, and the actual chess board.
03:49I also like the concept of giving you low points for that.
03:51Olivia, what have you brought in for me that is interesting
03:55and that could fit inside a pillowcase?
03:57Yes, I have brought in the universe.
04:01There it is.
04:03It's a book, fits in a pillowcase.
04:05The universe has loads of different interesting things in it.
04:09It has your prize task, and it has your prize, and your prize,
04:13and your prize in it, and best thing of all,
04:16when the universe started off, it was only the size of a pinhead.
04:19Pinhead fits in the pillowcase.
04:22Oh!
04:23So, why don't you use it?
04:25APPLAUSE
04:26We're all wearing stuff.
04:28Mine's behind.
04:29OK, but look, so I think we're flirting with a bit of a similar
04:32situation to August.
04:34It's the concept of the universe in a pillowcase, right?
04:38And that is just the representation.
04:40The spirit, the facts of the universe is all in that book.
04:46Like my chess set.
04:47LAUGHTER
04:50Wow, I feel like I'm being Darren Browned right now by Olivia.
04:53It does.
04:54I think it's time to turn to Ruben.
04:56How are you doing? All right, meh.
04:58LAUGHTER
05:00Well, what have you brought in today?
05:02I have brought a television remote.
05:04There we go.
05:05LAUGHTER
05:07Ruben, you've brought in a remote in a pillowcase.
05:10Impress me with this.
05:11Pause.
05:12LAUGHTER
05:14APPLAUSE
05:16Unpause.
05:17LAUGHTER
05:19So, then, what's interesting about a TV remote?
05:22Hey, you can watch Junior Taskmaster.
05:23Oh, that's pretty good.
05:25Oh, thanks for knowing me, I will.
05:27APPLAUSE
05:29All right, Charlotte, what have you brought?
05:31A mini picnic.
05:33Oh-ho-ho-ho!
05:34OK, why?
05:37I don't need to bribe you for points.
05:39LAUGHTER
05:40That's true.
05:41Food bribes me.
05:42Mm, mm.
05:44So food bribes you.
05:45LAUGHTER
05:47I mean, to be honest, out of all the things,
05:49if I opened a pillowcase and I found a full picnic in it,
05:53I would be quite interested.
05:55Yeah.
05:56I would love to know, though, if you had the ultimate picnic,
05:59anyone could come to it, who would you invite?
06:01Mike.
06:02What?!
06:03LAUGHTER
06:04Mike?!
06:05APPLAUSE
06:07But do you mean as a guest?
06:10But do you mean as a guest or as a kind of, like a sort of waiter?
06:13A guest.
06:14A guest? Yeah.
06:15Yes!
06:16LAUGHTER
06:17All righty, last but not least, Sid,
06:19what have you brought in tonight?
06:22Today, I have brought in worry dolls.
06:24Right, so worry dolls.
06:25Explain to me the worry doll concept.
06:28You tell the little people your worries.
06:30Yeah. You put them under your pillow.
06:32Right. And the next morning, there's no more worries.
06:35OK. Well, what would you tell a worry doll?
06:38Can't genuinely think of a single thing
06:40that actually genuinely worries me right now.
06:42So, you're worry-free?
06:43You've been emptied of worries by the worry dolls.
06:46No, I never use these things.
06:47I don't even own any.
06:49LAUGHTER
06:50So, then, I feel like you don't use these worry dolls.
06:52So, is that very... I don't know.
06:53I mean, I... Look, oh, gosh.
06:55OK, hold on. I think I need to retrace my steps here.
06:58LAUGHTER
07:00I'm going to give out some points.
07:02So... OK.
07:03It's one point for the worry dolls.
07:05It's two points, I think, for August.
07:07The concept of cheer is slightly flimsy for me.
07:09Three points for Scarlet,
07:11because I'm not actually currently hungry.
07:13Four points for Olivia,
07:15because we're so enthusiastic about the universe.
07:17But you know what, Reuben, I'm just an egotistical brute,
07:20and the fact that you want to watch Junior Taskmaster has got me.
07:22So, five points for the TV.
07:24Ah! Yeah!
07:25He loves it. He loves it.
07:27APPLAUSE
07:30I reckon it's time for the first task of the night.
07:32Indeed. And in the long-standing tradition
07:34of the Taskmaster universe,
07:35this next task involves a rubber duck.
07:38We're aware our contestants will have grown out
07:39of juvenile bath toys, of course, so to keep them sweet,
07:42we've also included something that modern 9- to 11-year-olds
07:44are absolutely wild about.
07:47Guttering.
07:48LAUGHTER
08:06Hello, Olivia. Hi, Mike.
08:08How are you? Very well, thank you.
08:11Hello, mate. Hello, Reuben.
08:14Hello, Sid. Hello, Mike Wozniak.
08:16Hello, August. Hello.
08:20Hello, Scarlet. Hello.
08:21Have you had to come from far today?
08:23Liverpool.
08:25What's the best thing about Liverpool?
08:27Me.
08:36Make this duck travel the furthest down these pipes
08:40and into the red bucket.
08:41You must be behind the start line for the duck's journey.
08:44When you are ready for your official attempt,
08:46you must duck and shout,
08:48DUCK!
08:50The duck that travels the furthest down the pipes wins.
08:53You have ten minutes. Your time starts now.
08:55You understand what it means when it says duck and shout duck?
08:58Yes.
08:59LAUGHTER
09:00Of course, that's a lot of ducks.
09:01APPLAUSE
09:06All right, Scarlet, best thing about Liverpool, immediately, you.
09:10Yeah.
09:11The best thing about Liverpool is the Beatles.
09:13Oh, bit of a fan of the Beatles.
09:15Yeah, what kind of face was that, Scarlet?
09:17The Beatles can't sing.
09:19The Beatles can't sing? No.
09:21Say that to my auntie.
09:23LAUGHTER
09:25She will kill you. She will kill you.
09:28LAUGHTER
09:29So, get those drainpipes up, get those ducks down there.
09:33Get those drainpipes up, get those ducks down there.
09:35How do they do, Mike?
09:37Let's find out. First up, it's Olivia and Ruben.
09:39Aha.
09:42All right, sorry, doggie.
09:45What are you thinking?
09:46I'm thinking, stabilise the pipes
09:50to get them at an angle using the bricks.
09:52I'm thinking, because I need it to be big...
09:55Yeah. ..I'm making it big.
09:59That didn't work.
10:03There's water in that.
10:06Has that helped?
10:07I think.
10:08You want me to pour that into the red one?
10:11Why do you want me to do that?
10:12Because I'm going to flip it upside down.
10:15To help me.
10:20Ah.
10:22Should have used the water to pump it down the pipes.
10:26Never mind.
10:27CLICK
10:32Yes.
10:33Do you normally build stuff?
10:34Yeah, I build Legos.
10:36What's the last thing you built out of Lego?
10:38Yesterday.
10:39You built yesterday out of Lego?
10:41Mm-hm.
10:49LAUGHTER
10:57Ah.
10:59Ah.
11:06Yeah, I think I'm happy with that.
11:09OK.
11:12Take it away.
11:14Duck.
11:18Yay! Went into the red bucket.
11:21WHISTLE BLOWS
11:22Oh, yeah.
11:27I'm basically putting water down so the duck can slide.
11:29Yeah, is that it? Yes.
11:31That's the whole thing?
11:32Sure? And it goes into the bucket.
11:34OK.
11:42WHISTLE BLOWS
11:43APPLAUSE
11:44Yeah!
11:45Into the bucket.
11:46OK.
11:49Very good.
11:51Nicely done.
11:52I mean, Olivia, Olivia,
11:54immediately seeing a massive bucket of water
11:56and be like, yeah, we won't be needing this thing.
11:59LAUGHTER
12:00You got the duck down there in the end. Yeah.
12:02Whereas, Reuben, you kind of decanted the water.
12:05I thought the duck would just stop in the middle of it,
12:07so I put water down it and then...
12:09Mm.
12:11Did the duck use fart powers, guys?
12:13LAUGHTER
12:15No, but my grandad does.
12:17LAUGHTER
12:20Would you have changed anything if you did it again? No.
12:22That's fine.
12:23No looking back after you've done it.
12:26I wonder if your tune will change further on into the show.
12:30LAUGHTER
12:31Would you like to see the next batch? Yeah, I think I would.
12:33OK. It's Sid and August.
12:34Oh, no.
12:35What are you thinking, Sid?
12:37Um, pipes.
12:39I think I want to make it go all the way down to the shed.
12:42Vaulting ambition, then? Yeah.
12:45This is going to take long.
12:48I'm going to need a lot of bricks for this.
12:51Yeah, go into the shed. Yeah?
12:54All right. Oh.
12:56Going for quite an acute angle there.
12:58LAUGHTER
13:01That's not going to work.
13:03That's there.
13:05Oh, no, that's...
13:07Wait, that could work.
13:08What are you doing now?
13:10Moving the bucket so that it's easier.
13:11So before you were trying to get everything into the bucket
13:14where it was, and now you're moving the bucket to an easier position...
13:17Yes. ..which is there.
13:19LAUGHTER
13:23Two minutes and 37 seconds left.
13:25I can do it.
13:26You know how?
13:28Because I'm smart.
13:30How smart are you?
13:31IQ of 120.
13:35How's that on the range of Einstein to Donald Trump?
13:38I have 120, Einstein's 160.
13:40So you're sort of three-quarters of an Einstein?
13:42Yes.
13:43LAUGHTER
13:45Is that what?
13:48Apparently not.
13:50You've got one minute left.
13:51Oh, no.
13:57Ah!
13:58You know what?
14:00All right.
14:01Putting a brick on a pipe?
14:03Yes.
14:04Is that going to help the duck go down the pipe?
14:06Yes.
14:07Going for it? This is your final attempt, is it?
14:10Yes.
14:14OK. Uh...
14:18Yeah!
14:20WHISTLE
14:21Yes!
14:22Thank you, August.
14:23OK.
14:24Yeah?
14:27That might not work.
14:29Are you going to go for it?
14:30Yes. Yes.
14:32Ah!
14:39LAUGHTER
14:42Um...
14:43That didn't work out.
14:44LAUGHTER
14:49WHISTLE
14:50LAUGHTER
14:51Thanks, Sid.
14:52APPLAUSE
14:57Wow, Sid.
14:58Your face says it all.
15:00LAUGHTER
15:01I didn't know the water was just not going
15:04where it was supposed to go.
15:05Right.
15:06It went at the wrong angle by, like, 45 degrees.
15:09LAUGHTER
15:10August, claiming to have an IQ of 120, eh?
15:13Yep. Basically, I had a vision.
15:16I had a vision.
15:17When I walked through the door, I was like,
15:19OK, I think I know what to do.
15:21So that went worse than I thought.
15:24LAUGHTER
15:26OK, one more to go, and it's Scarlet.
15:28Right.
15:31OK, Scarlet, what are you thinking?
15:33Pipes.
15:35Has this duck got a name?
15:37Erm...
15:39Taylor Swift.
15:41Because of yellow colouring, is that what it is?
15:43Yeah. And I love Taylor Swift and I love that duck.
15:45Right.
15:51I'm going in the shed.
15:53A pair of pink glasses. I'm serious.
15:55Maybe I need fish.
15:57What for? To motivate the duck?
15:59Yeah.
16:00You've got five and a half minutes left.
16:02Whee!
16:04What if my other people have used more?
16:06Well, that's a good question.
16:10OK. I'm doing it.
16:12You're doing it? I'm doing it.
16:14OK, good luck, Taylor Swift.
16:16Take it away.
16:19Duck!
16:28Go, duck. Go, duck.
16:39WHISTLE BLOWS
16:40I don't know. How do you feel?
16:43You're expressing a dance.
16:45Has that dance got a name?
16:46The Scarlet.
16:47OK, that's quite good.
16:49Have I got it right? Yeah.
16:51What's that one called?
16:53Erm, the duck.
16:55The duck. What would the mic be?
16:57Oh, I know. That's the mic. Yeah.
17:00You've given me the gift of a dance. Yeah.
17:02I really like it.
17:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:06Really good.
17:08Really good.
17:09Really good. Duck, Scarlet, wow!
17:13I mean, I love that. The mic dance.
17:15Yeah, the mic's catching on.
17:16Well, that's part of the end.
17:19Is there, dare I ask, a rose?
17:20Could there be a... Yeah, what would the rose be?
17:23Oh, no, I'm Ruben!
17:25LAUGHTER
17:27All right, so, I want to know, I mean, crucially,
17:30what duck travelled the furthest?
17:33I can tell you, Sid's travelled 73 centimetres.
17:36Oh, that's something, that's something.
17:38I mean, it was on a perfect horizontal,
17:41so it's actually pretty impressive.
17:43Ruben's managed 241.5 centimetres, very decent.
17:48Olivia, a very respectable 301 centimetres.
17:51August, 461.
17:53Scarlet, an extraordinary 896 centimetres.
17:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:00Wow!
18:03Now, those are the lengths.
18:05It is possibly worth noting that Ruben and August...
18:10Mm-hm. ..they did fail to duck and shout duck at the launch.
18:15Oh!
18:16What was that? What about everyone else?
18:18You know what? What about everyone else?
18:21What I was implicitly saying was that everyone else did it.
18:24Did it.
18:25I could go either way here, right?
18:27I could be a very lenient, kind, benevolent junior taskmaster
18:31and say, oh, it doesn't matter what's written down on the task,
18:33it's going to be fine.
18:34But guess what? It does.
18:36LAUGHTER
18:37It really does. Honestly, I'm going to be pedantic here, you know?
18:40I'm going to give two points to Ruben and August, OK?
18:42It's better than nothing, I suppose. Yes, yes, yes.
18:44But, Sid, you did it, you ducked,
18:46so I'm going to give three points to Sid,
18:48four points to Olivia, but obviously five points to Scarlet.
18:51Which is a good score.
18:53Well done, all of you, though.
18:55Good job, Scarlet.
18:57OK, shall we see how that looks on the scoreboard?
19:00OK, here it is. Languishing at the back,
19:01we've got August and Sid, both on four.
19:03It's tight, though, at the top, with Ruben on seven.
19:05Olivia and Scarlet, both on eight points.
19:07APPLAUSE
19:12All right, next task, please.
19:15Children are a gift.
19:17And, of course, we all know some gifts are better than others,
19:19but which of these little gits is...?
19:21Oh, excuse me.
19:23No!
19:24Excuse me, I'm so...
19:27I beg your pardon.
19:30Which of these little gifts...?
19:34No, one end of a roll of wrapping paper from the other.
19:36Let's find out.
19:53Hello, Olivia. Hello.
19:55Hello, Ruben.
19:57Hello, Scarlet. Hello.
19:58Hello, August.
20:00Hello, Sid.
20:01Hello, Mike Wozniak.
20:03It's an opening.
20:06Beautifully... Oh, no.
20:10Beautifully wrap up this present.
20:12You must maintain eye contact with Mike at all times.
20:17If you break eye contact with Mike at any time,
20:19you will unwrap your present and you must start again.
20:22The most beautifully wrapped present wins.
20:24You have ten minutes.
20:25Retain. Start.
20:26No.
20:29I see you...
20:30Sorry, I'm just going to take that off just because you broke eye contact.
20:33I do apologise. I'm terribly sorry.
20:35This is going to be very annoying.
20:42Oh...
20:45That would be the most brutal thing they've ever done. Yeah.
20:49Why do I have to look at him?
20:51I would rather look... I would rather look at, like, a statue than him.
20:56It's amazing that you were looking at me
20:58and you were almost going to say me and you were like, nah.
21:02You know what? I'm just dying to see how all of you got on with this task.
21:05Who was first?
21:06First up is Ruben and it is Sid.
21:09Oh.
21:11Are you a good present wrapper, ordinarily?
21:13I've never wrapped a present in my life.
21:15When's the last time you wrapped a present?
21:17Never.
21:18Who wraps your presents? I don't know.
21:21I am going to do that.
21:24That.
21:25Mm-hm.
21:26Oh, I do apologise.
21:27I'm just going to have to pop that off just because you broke eye contact with me.
21:30I'm terribly sorry, Sid.
21:31This is going to take a while.
21:33Where are the scissors?
21:35Where are the scissors?
21:38OK.
21:46Sorry, you broke eye contact with me, so I'm going to have to...
21:49I'm going to have to...
21:51Sorry, you broke eye contact with me, so I'm going to have to...
21:53Dreadfully sorry.
21:56Sorry, I'm just going to have to pop that off
21:57just because you broke eye contact with me. Sorry, Sid.
21:59I don't even know what's in the box, cos I'll never know.
22:02What would be in the box if you were giving someone a present?
22:05Oh.
22:06You're self-policing now. This is quite good.
22:08Oh, no.
22:09I'm just going to have to take that off cos you broke eye contact with me.
22:12For crying out loud.
22:16Sorry, Ruben, I'm just going to have to take that off.
22:20Oh, I'm sorry, Ruben, I'm just going to have to take it off.
22:23I'm just doing a job. I'm just a guy doing a job.
22:26I don't want to look at your ugly moustache.
22:28My ugly moustache?
22:29I'd like to look at your face.
22:32What does it say in the task?
22:34I don't know.
22:35Ah!
22:38You know what? I'm just going to have to...
22:40Do...
22:42You're just going to have to...
22:43I'm just going to have to do that.
22:46This is making me so angry.
22:49Are you normally quite a calm person, Ruben?
22:52You're looking slightly furious now.
22:57There.
22:58Is that it? Wrapping.
22:59Wrapping? Yep.
23:00You don't want to carry on?
23:02It's just going to get taken off.
23:04Well, it depends... Cos I'm not very good at maintaining eye contact.
23:06Well, if you're done, you can tell me you're done.
23:08Well, I'm done.
23:10WHISTLE
23:11Oh. Thank you, Sid.
23:12Ear piercing.
23:14What have you got now?
23:20This is a beautiful wrapped present.
23:24WHISTLE
23:25Thank you, Ruben.
23:26You're welcome.
23:27Would you call that wrapped?
23:29Yes.
23:30APPLAUSE
23:31Wow.
23:38Wow-a.
23:39That is what we call staring someone out, Ruben.
23:43It looked like you were trying to, like,
23:45communicate something from your mind to his.
23:47What was your internal monologue?
23:49What were you saying to him?
23:50Make sure no-no.
23:51It's violent.
23:52LAUGHTER
23:54You got it? You got it? Psychically?
23:56Yeah, very much post-Watershed, I'm afraid.
23:58LAUGHTER
23:59I was worried I'd find this task cruel,
24:02but I really enjoyed myself.
24:04LAUGHTER
24:06Sid, how did you find that task?
24:09I'd say it's the best present I've ever wrapped.
24:11Probably because it's the only present I've ever wrapped,
24:13but I'd say I did a great job.
24:15All right. Next up, we're going to have a look
24:17All right, neither of you have wrapped a present before.
24:19That became quite clear to me just then, right?
24:22Who are we going to see now, Mike?
24:23It is Scarlett and Olivia.
24:25Aha.
24:26Are you good at wrapping presents?
24:28Yeah.
24:29Yeah? Yeah.
24:30Do you do it often?
24:31Yeah.
24:32For Christmas.
24:33What's the best present you've ever received?
24:36Um...
24:39Let's talk about space.
24:41You like space?
24:42Yeah.
24:43LAUGHTER
24:44So what's the best present you've ever bought someone, Scarlett?
24:47Um...
24:48Money.
24:49You've bought them money?
24:50I bought my cousin £180, cos he's 18.
24:54Oh, wow.
24:55What did he spend it on?
24:56Don't know. Don't know yet.
24:58What do you think he should spend it on?
25:00Skin care.
25:01LAUGHTER
25:02Because he's into skin care, or...?
25:04No, cos he needs it.
25:05Oh, dear.
25:10Darn, this is hard.
25:11What's that in the middle?
25:12Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Olivia.
25:13I just noticed you blanched them with your sellotape.
25:16Are you good at buying presents?
25:18Um...
25:19Sorry, I'd better just...
25:21Oh, I was looking at the light.
25:23Oh, no, I know.
25:24Take your time, then.
25:26Please excuse me while I'm warming up here.
25:28This is the worst task yet.
25:32Do you believe in aliens?
25:35No.
25:36No?
25:37No.
25:38No?
25:40Yes.
25:41What if I told you there was an alien standing
25:43directly behind you right now?
25:45What?
25:46Yes, I...
25:47Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
25:48That's the first...
25:49Oh, that's a shock.
25:50I didn't break it.
25:51Well, for a smidgen.
25:53Oh, my God.
25:54LAUGHTER
25:55LAUGHTER
25:56MUSIC
25:57LAUGHTER
25:58MUSIC
25:59MUSIC
26:00LAUGHTER
26:01How are you feeling?
26:02Stressed.
26:03How's it going, Neil?
26:04Trying to make a bow out of the tape,
26:06cos I lost the actual bag.
26:07Oh, I see.
26:08That's tricky.
26:09Can you look on the floor?
26:10Does it mean to lean over while you look on the floor?
26:12LAUGHTER
26:13You found it?
26:14No.
26:15Is it helpful?
26:16No.
26:17No.
26:1830 seconds left.
26:19Mmm.
26:20Mmm.
26:21Mmm.
26:22Is it tasty?
26:23No.
26:24No?
26:26No.
26:27OK.
26:28Are you worried at all about the fact you just spat a globule
26:30of sellotape into my suit?
26:31No.
26:32Five seconds.
26:33No.
26:34You done it?
26:35Happy?
26:36Yes.
26:37LAUGHTER
26:38Ugh.
26:39LAUGHTER
26:40There it was.
26:41APPLAUSE
26:42WHISTLE
26:43APPLAUSE
26:44Thank you, Scarlett.
26:45LAUGHTER
26:46What do you think of your...?
26:47Beautiful.
26:48Yeah?
26:49That's the adjective of choice, is it?
26:50LAUGHTER
26:51Don't touch it.
26:52Ooh.
26:54Crafty.
26:55I'm never wrapping any presents ever again.
26:57No?
26:58No.
26:59I thought you were a master of it.
27:00That's what you told me.
27:01LAUGHTER
27:02APPLAUSE
27:03APPLAUSE
27:04APPLAUSE
27:05APPLAUSE
27:06APPLAUSE
27:07Oh, wow.
27:09You made some enemies in this task here, mate.
27:12Yeah, that felt harder.
27:13That felt harder this time,
27:14cos these two actually clearly had some competence
27:16and got quite far.
27:18Olivia, your eyes were kind of maniacal.
27:20I love that.
27:21Have they recovered?
27:23Yeah, I think so.
27:24Yeah.
27:25I still can't look at him.
27:26No.
27:27LAUGHTER
27:28Look at the emotional, yeah.
27:29She gave all she could.
27:30You weren't even risking blinking by the end of that, were you?
27:33I don't think you blinked once there.
27:35Even going down to pick up that bow.
27:37I didn't find the bow in the end,
27:39so I hope you count resourcefulness,
27:41because I used the tape instead.
27:42LAUGHTER
27:43That's quite a compelling argument.
27:45Um, I, uh...
27:46I will ask this, Scarlett.
27:48Do you think your cousin might be watching this
27:51and might be seeing when you said
27:52that they should spend their money on skin care?
27:55You stick by it?
27:57Yeah.
27:58LAUGHTER
27:59I mean, you just seemed, by the end,
28:00you'd given up on the concept of even wrapping a gift ever again.
28:05I had to wrap your friend's birthday present.
28:07Oh!
28:08Well, can we ask you what you've got for them?
28:09Skin care.
28:10LAUGHTER
28:11What did you get them? Conditioner?
28:13Yeah.
28:14No, that's for your hair.
28:15LAUGHTER
28:17Conditioner under here?
28:19Sounds like Ruben's family need to take him through
28:20some pretty basic hygiene.
28:22LAUGHTER
28:25OK, our last wrapper is August's.
28:28Hmm.
28:29The time starts...
28:31Not yet, not yet. Now.
28:35Let's just see. What is...
28:38..fish?
28:39What do you think that is?
28:40It's a fish. That's one of those, um...
28:42Red... Red fish, man.
28:44Red... Yeah, burgundy distraction fish, is it?
28:46I don't know. No, the crimson subterfuge haddock?
28:51Um... Maroon...
28:52No, I know, I know. Maroon maroon halibut.
28:55Small big fish.
28:56Small big fish.
28:57Yes.
28:58Some sort of herring.
28:59Small big fish.
29:00LAUGHTER
29:01I don't know what to do.
29:04I don't know how to wrap these. Oh, no.
29:06So, I'm just going to, uh, do excuse me, take that off.
29:09I can blink, yeah?
29:10Oh, yeah. Yeah.
29:12I'm just going to take that off,
29:13just cos you broke eye contact with me.
29:15I'm terribly sorry.
29:16That fringe is going to be a problem, isn't it?
29:18So, I'm just going to unwrap that,
29:19just cos you broke eye contact with me.
29:21Honestly, who hurt you?
29:23LAUGHTER
29:24Oh, sorry, August, I'd better just quickly unwrap that.
29:27Is there anything which can help me?
29:29There's the brakes.
29:35What are you thinking?
29:36I don't want to wrap this up.
29:45Time's stopped.
29:46You're done? Yep.
29:47Yeah, I'm not bothered with this no more.
29:50APPLAUSE
29:52Thank you, August.
29:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:58OK, wow.
29:59And all of you were angry at Mike at some point.
30:02I mean, all of you were angry at Mike at some point,
30:04but you took the cake there, August.
30:07You were, like, the angriest Santa's elf
30:09I've ever seen in my life.
30:11I was going to shout at him.
30:12You were? I honestly was.
30:14No, you know what, honestly, I'm impressed.
30:15I mean, you literally thought outside the box.
30:17No, I thought inside the box.
30:18Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:19Don't correct me.
30:20LAUGHTER
30:23Yeah, look, you know what, I think what I'm going to do
30:26is I'm going to look at all of the presents side by side.
30:28Is that OK? Here we are.
30:31I mean, Sid, it just looks like you bought the accoutrement
30:34to wrap the presents.
30:36Scarlett, you can tell that you've got a background
30:39in gift wrapping there.
30:41Olivia as well.
30:42I mean, you know, you've got the paper around it.
30:44Ruben, you've got the paper on it.
30:45Yeah.
30:47You know what, I think I've got some rankings.
30:49I think I've got... Yeah, I'm going to do it.
30:50Yes, please.
30:51Sid, we're going to go one point, but...
30:53I'm not surprised.
30:56I love that attitude.
30:58You've taken it like a champ.
30:59Ruben, two points.
31:01Ruben, two points.
31:02That's all right for me.
31:03That's all right for you. Fantastic.
31:04Wow, this is going better than expected.
31:06LAUGHTER
31:07August, we're going to go three points.
31:09Four points to Olivia, a full five points to Scarlett.
31:12Well done, all of you.
31:13APPLAUSE
31:16What have we got next?
31:18Our next task is musical,
31:19so we shall be finding out who of our panel is the next Mozart
31:22and who is the next Mo...
31:24..Farrah.
31:25LAUGHTER
31:26As in, one is famously good at music
31:28and the other's an athlete, i.e. not musical.
31:30Right.
31:32I don't know, we could be in private life, good at the flute.
31:34I didn't... I didn't know that.
31:35Should have done... Sorry. Yeah.
31:37Let's just play the clip. Let's do it.
31:38LAUGHTER
31:39MUSIC PLAYS
31:53Hello. Hello, August.
31:55Hello, Ruben. Hi.
31:57Hello, Sid. Hello, Mike Wozniak.
31:59Feeling chipper? Yes.
32:01Excited? Yes.
32:03Hello, Scarlett. Hi.
32:05Would you like to do some small talk before we do a task
32:07or do you just want to crack on with the task?
32:10Let's do some small talk.
32:11OK. What would you like to talk about?
32:13Favourite outfits?
32:15Pyjamas.
32:16At all times?
32:17Not at all times.
32:19I will get dressed when I need to.
32:21OK.
32:24Ooh. Ooh.
32:26Ding!
32:28Play these notes.
32:30PIANO PLAYS
32:35You may hear the notes whenever you either insult or compliment Mike.
32:40Most correct consecutive notes in your final attempt wins.
32:44You have a maximum of ten minutes.
32:45Your time starts now.
32:48I'm so confused.
32:50You've got to work out the tune
32:51and whenever you want to hear the tune,
32:53you've got to either insult me or compliment me.
32:57Your moustache is looking nice today.
32:59Thank you, Olivia.
33:01PIANO PLAYS
33:05APPLAUSE
33:06Ooh.
33:09Could you do some tasks?
33:11Ruben, stop rubbing your hands like that.
33:13I can't wait for this one.
33:14LAUGHTER
33:15I can sense it.
33:17Well, I mean, Olivia, her first instinct was to...
33:20You could choose either. She began with a compliment.
33:22It's quite interesting.
33:23Not everyone made that choice, did they, Ruben?
33:26LAUGHTER
33:27The idea of insulting Mike, did people find this, like,
33:29oh, I'm not going to be able to do that?
33:31Mm-mm-mm.
33:32LAUGHTER
33:34Who was up first, Mike?
33:36First up, it's Ruben, Olivia and Scarlett.
33:38OK.
33:40Your smile's beautiful.
33:43And gorgeous.
33:44Do you know what I smell, that?
33:46Mike? Yes?
33:48Have you pooed yourself?
33:49LAUGHTER
33:51Lovely stuff.
33:52PIANO PLAYS
33:56No.
33:59This is hard.
34:00Well, I don't like your eyebrows.
34:02LAUGHTER
34:04You have nice, shiny buttons.
34:07You look like a mouldy apple.
34:09LAUGHTER
34:10PIANO PLAYS
34:22No, that was definitely not it.
34:24You're deffing me with your ugly nose.
34:27Your ears are nice and round.
34:31I know I've never seen your toes before, but I think they're ugly.
34:34LAUGHTER
34:35PIANO PLAYS
34:36Oh.
34:37There's so many notes on this, it's hard to get the right one.
34:40Your eyes are creepy.
34:42You don't look a day over 100.
34:44LAUGHTER
34:45Your...
34:47belt...
34:48is...
34:50loose.
34:51LAUGHTER
34:52..is...
34:54loose and...
34:56it looks like it's been chucked over a cliff
35:02and swallowed by a fox
35:05and left in the bushes for six months.
35:10LAUGHTER
35:13Time for your final attempt.
35:15PIANO PLAYS
35:17I think that was my best one yet.
35:20WHISTLE BLOWS
35:21Thank you, Olivia.
35:23PIANO PLAYS
35:26WHISTLE BLOWS
35:27Thank you, Scarlet.
35:29PIANO PLAYS
35:32WHISTLE BLOWS
35:33Thank you, Ruben.
35:34Thank you, Mick.
35:36Thanks, Moustache Baby.
35:38LAUGHTER
35:39APPLAUSE
35:40Come on!
35:41LAUGHTER
35:42APPLAUSE
35:43Come on!
35:44LAUGHTER
35:45APPLAUSE
35:46Oh, wow!
35:47APPLAUSE
35:54I must say, that was a masterclass in insults, I think.
35:58I mean, your face looks like a mouldy apple.
36:00LAUGHTER
36:02I mean, the only reason I said that
36:04is because you've got a big forehead.
36:05Oh, yes, of course.
36:06That's the only reason.
36:07Let's break down the details.
36:08LAUGHTER
36:09Do you get points for saying the meanest insult ever?
36:12Um, absolutely not.
36:13But, uh...
36:15But it was very impressive.
36:16Honestly, very, very impressive.
36:17And, Olivia, you went for compliments most of the time,
36:21but you did dabble in the...
36:23Some very inventive trash talk from Olivia.
36:25I think the story was, the belt was so loose,
36:28looked like it was thrown off a cliff,
36:29Fox ate it, decomposed for six months.
36:32Now you're wearing it.
36:33I don't know what was in my head, but I absolutely loved it.
36:36LAUGHTER
36:38Scarlet, did you prefer the insults or the compliments?
36:42Insults.
36:43Really?
36:44Straight away?
36:45Was it, I haven't seen your toes, but I imagine they're ugly.
36:49LAUGHTER
36:50She's bang on there.
36:51Very good instincts.
36:52LAUGHTER
36:53Very good instincts.
36:54This time, we have August and Sid, hot and fresh.
36:58Musical, Sid?
37:00Sort of, yes.
37:01I can play one instrument, and it's this.
37:03Drums, clarinet, some recorder.
37:07Kind of give up on guitar.
37:09Uh, your moustache looks nice.
37:12BELL RINGS
37:16No.
37:17No.
37:20OK, I think I've got the first one.
37:26Uh, your, your, your clothes look cheap.
37:29LAUGHTER
37:30Oh.
37:31BELL RINGS
37:43Maybe.
37:45Your eyebrows look nice.
37:47Lovely thing to say, thank you, Sid.
37:49LAUGHTER
37:51BELL RINGS
38:05Is that it?
38:06I think that's it.
38:07APPLAUSE
38:08Thank you, Sid.
38:10You're welcome, my boss mate.
38:11APPLAUSE
38:12OK.
38:14I'm trying to find a sheet of the notes.
38:17Oh.
38:21OK, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
38:23I think I found something.
38:25What is it?
38:26All right, I think I found the keys.
38:28APPLAUSE
38:29So these keys are how I figure out the keys to the keyboard.
38:33I just need to count it.
38:34Wait, one, two, three, four, five, six.
38:38PIANO PLAYS
38:39PIANO PLAYS
38:40PIANO PLAYS
38:41BELL RINGS
38:42All right, I think I've got it.
38:44WHISTLE BLOWS
38:45Bye-bye.
38:47APPLAUSE
38:51Mmm.
38:52August, my shortcut king!
38:54Yeah!
38:55LAUGHTER
38:56I mean, I love how you were like,
38:57now, hang on, I believe this might be a clue.
39:00And then it literally says,
39:02these keys are the keys to the keyboard's keys.
39:04LAUGHTER
39:05It's rather obvious, but you read it perfectly.
39:08Sid, you kind of went on pure musical intuition.
39:12I mean, you're pretty proud of that, aren't you?
39:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:15When I saw all of those notes popping up green,
39:18it was like Christmas had come early for me.
39:20LAUGHTER
39:21I can imagine.
39:23Olivia, what are your thoughts?
39:24I feel depressed.
39:26Oh!
39:27Look, varying results.
39:28In terms of stats, the points were correct in consecutive notes.
39:32Ruben, I can tell you got just one out of a possible ten.
39:35OK. Scarlett got two.
39:36Olivia managed five out of ten, very decent.
39:39August and Sid, of course, ten out of ten.
39:41Right. OK, well, that's pretty straightforward.
39:44Reflected in the points, I mean, one point for Ruben,
39:46Scarlett, two points, three points for Olivia.
39:49But five points go to both August and Sid.
39:52Very well done.
39:54That was great.
39:56All right, Mike, what is that bank of scores?
39:58It's quite exciting, it's quite tight.
40:00At the back of the pack, with ten points each,
40:03we have Sid and Ruben.
40:05In the middle, we've got August on 12.
40:06In the lead, with 15 each, Olivia and Scarlett.
40:09APPLAUSE
40:12Wow, that's tight, it's tight.
40:15All right, you little group of baby geniuses,
40:18it's time to head over to the stage for the final task.
40:20CHEERING
40:22APPLAUSE
40:28OK, Mikey, who is reading tonight's final task?
40:32August is going to do the business, if you wouldn't mind.
40:34Thank you, August.
40:36Put red clips on the blue spikes and blue rings on the red spikes.
40:41You must not remove your helmets.
40:43If you put a thing on the wrong thing,
40:45two things will be taken off your thing total.
40:48Most things on the right thing wins.
40:51You have 100 seconds.
40:53Okey-dokey.
40:54Pretty straightforward.
40:55It's very much a put the things on the thing kind of game.
40:58OK.
40:59So the red goes on the blue...
41:02..and the blue goes on the red.
41:04Are you ready?
41:05Yep. In that case...
41:07Begin!
41:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:16The gravity!
41:21Keep going!
41:23You can do it!
41:25Yes! Good work so far.
41:27Olivia's just going one, one for one.
41:30Nice!
41:31How's it going, Reuben? Good.
41:33Good.
41:34How are you, Olivia? How's it going?
41:36Very baffling.
41:38Come on!
41:39Bumper it!
41:43It's closed.
41:44Feels like it's closed.
41:46WHISTLE BLOWS
41:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:51That was exciting.
41:52Please come back down here.
41:53We'll see how that's affected the final scores.
41:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:02All right.
42:03Some hoops and clips stats.
42:05Here we go. OK.
42:06So, with nine hoops and or clips was Sid.
42:09Next in was Olivia, who managed 16.
42:11Reuben managed 20.
42:13Scarlet, 22.
42:14And August, 25.
42:15Ooh, OK.
42:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:19So, points-wise, Sid gets one point for that task.
42:22Olivia, two. Reuben, three.
42:23Scarlet, four.
42:24And August won that task with five points.
42:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:27Well done, ladies.
42:30All right.
42:31Mike, are you ready to give me the final scores for the episode?
42:34Certainly. At this point, I have to remind you
42:37that the runner-up and the winner will be going through to the semis,
42:41so this is pretty thrilling.
42:42OK. So, scores are tallied.
42:45In fifth place, with 11 points, it's Sid.
42:47Well done, Sid.
42:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:51In fourth place, with 13 points, it's Reuben.
42:53Very well done, Reuben.
42:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:58And we are skipping third place... Mm-hm.
43:00..because there is a joint second-place situation happening.
43:05With 17 points, it is both Olivia and August.
43:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:11Which means Scarlet wins!
43:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:16Very well done, Scarlet.
43:18But what that also means is that we've got ourselves a little tie.
43:21What do we do here, Mike?
43:22We hot-foot it over to tie-break towers, is what we do.
43:26And in tie-break towers this week,
43:28we've got a couple of kids in the lab with a feather.
43:35Throw this feather.
43:37Furthest feather wins.
43:39OK.
43:41OK, here goes nothing.
43:48Bye. Thank you. Bye.
43:53I can reveal that there was only 8cm between those two throws.
43:58Oh! 8cm?
44:00Olivia, you threw at a very impressive 209cm.
44:04August, you threw at 217cm.
44:07Oh! Very well done, Olivia.
44:10For August, congratulations.
44:12So well done, both of you.
44:13But that obviously means August is the tie-break winner
44:16and going through to the semifinals.
44:18Yes. Now, yeah, nice one, both of you.
44:21You go so, so close.
44:23Well, Scarlett is the winner of this episode,
44:26so go on up and collect the most interesting things
44:28that fit inside her pillowcase.
44:30Well done!
44:33And that brings us to the end of the Junior Taskmaster Series 1 heats.
44:37Next week is the first semifinal,
44:39and you won't believe what we have in store for you.
44:42Unless you believe it's more tasks, in which case you will believe,
44:45because that is what we have in store for you.
44:46Until then, let's hear it for all of our contestants this week,
44:49and, of course, our winner, Scarlett!
44:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:21For more Taskmaster, subscribe now!