Junior Taskmaster Episode 3 - Rustin Shin Pad
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00:00BUZZER
00:02Right, let's go.
00:04HE SCREAMS
00:05MUSIC CONTINUES
00:10Can you tape this to my head?
00:12Er...
00:15Call plus call.
00:20That was quite pathetic, don't you think?
00:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:24Oh-ho-ho!
00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:31Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
00:34Hello and welcome to Junior Taskmaster.
00:38My name is Rose Matufeo,
00:39former child, current adult woman
00:42and the aforementioned Junior Taskmaster.
00:44Hang on, wait, does that make the Taskmaster my father?
00:48Am I a nepo-baby?
00:50I'll never tell!
00:52Now, if this is the first time you're watching the show,
00:55that would be weird because we are a couple of episodes in,
00:57but here's the long and short of it.
00:59Over the course of this series,
01:0025 children will be battling through five heats and two semis
01:04in the hope of reaching the grand final
01:06and getting their mitts on theirs.
01:08CROWD GASPS
01:09Yeah, just what every kid wants for their room.
01:12LAUGHTER
01:13Now, in yay-old Taskmaster tradition,
01:15tonight's winner will take home
01:17all of the hopefully fabulous prize tasks.
01:19However, the contestants who come first and second
01:22will both win a spot in the semifinals.
01:25Right, let's meet tonight's contestants, shall we?
01:27Please welcome Abraima!
01:29CHEERING
01:30Finlay!
01:32George!
01:34Liana!
01:36And Shania!
01:40It is, of course, time to introduce my assistant.
01:44Now, this job is not easy.
01:46We knew we had to go through a rigorous auditioning process
01:49to find the right person.
01:50He had to be one of the most brightest minds in the country
01:53with a razor-sharp wit,
01:54the chiselled body of an elite athlete.
01:57Yeah? We unfortunately ran out of time to do any of that
02:00and ended up putting an ad in the newspaper
02:01and he was the first to answer.
02:03It's Mike Wazniak!
02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:10Thank you, Rose.
02:12Ultimately, this is a show about the dangers of electricity pylons.
02:18So, remember, kids, if you're climbing an electricity pylon
02:20and you find a wasp's nest the size of a medicine ball,
02:23don't disturb it with a handheld lit firework
02:25or a junior chainsaw.
02:27Just call 0800 WASP BEEF and we'll explain to you
02:30why you shouldn't be climbing the pylon in the first place.
02:33Sound advice there from Mike,
02:35who is the father of several real children.
02:38Now, it is time for Mike to reveal tonight's prize task.
02:42Well, Rose, the prize category this week is
02:45the most surprising item from your house.
02:47Perhaps, like Rose, they have 26 disco balls
02:50in their downstairs toilet.
02:51Perhaps it's something simpler, like a letter confirming
02:53that Grandma has finally been granted parole.
02:56Either way...
02:58Either way, not only will the winner of this episode
03:00be through to the semifinals, they will also be able to take home
03:02five of the most surprising items from a house in the world.
03:06Right. I'm going to start with Ibrima.
03:09What is your most surprising item?
03:11I have brought in myself.
03:13What? A cardboard cut-out,
03:15cos I like to jump out on people.
03:17LAUGHTER
03:18Oh! Wow!
03:22What are you surprised?
03:24Well, I used to jump out on my mum,
03:26but her room is near the stairs,
03:29so I'm not allowed to do it anymore.
03:31LAUGHTER
03:33Incredible. I think that's a very, very strong start.
03:35It's very strong indeed. Thank you, Ibrima.
03:36OK, next up, I'm going to ask Finlay.
03:39What is the most surprising item in your house?
03:42A feather from a hawk.
03:44Jeez! There it is.
03:45I went to this pumpkin-picking place and I held the hawk.
03:49It's called Bolt. Very big.
03:52Very heavy.
03:53They should be dealing with pumpkins, not hawks.
03:55They're licensed for both pumpkins and hawks.
03:57Yeah. Hawk care.
03:58Bit weird. Yeah.
04:00OK, so why do you think this is the most surprising item?
04:03I found this in a house.
04:04I don't think most people in an average household
04:06would have a feather from a 300lb hawk.
04:08LAUGHTER
04:10I'm not going to clap that!
04:12All right? We've got Big Hawk in the room tonight.
04:15LAUGHTER
04:16All right. I'm impressed.
04:18I don't know if I'm surprised.
04:20George, what have you got for me?
04:22Well, I have brought a 15-year-old belly button.
04:26Oh!
04:27LAUGHTER
04:33There are so many questions to ask here.
04:35Let's start with, are you OK?
04:38No, um... Whose belly button is this?
04:41It's actually my teenage brother.
04:44Like, a belly button is the absence of something.
04:46Who would say a belly button rather than an umbilical cord?
04:49So he hasn't got an innie or an outie, he's got a gonnie now.
04:51Is that what it is?
04:53I think it is a proper belly button.
04:55OK.
04:56It looks like it's seen better days.
04:58Well, it is 15 years old and is...
05:02..human flesh.
05:03LAUGHTER
05:05So, human flesh, if you didn't know, rots.
05:08So that's why it looks like that. OK.
05:11Honestly, yeah, pretty surprised by that.
05:13I'd upgrade that to rather shocked.
05:16OK, Lianna.
05:18I've brought a Cardi B hat.
05:20You've brought a Cardi B hat?
05:21There it is.
05:24My mum decided to buy it for us
05:25because I've been singing in it for ages.
05:27What do you love about Cardi B?
05:29I love how she can say words really fast.
05:31She can say words really fast.
05:33And we won't go into what kind of words she does say really fast.
05:36What would be your rapper name?
05:38Lil' Orange.
05:39LAUGHTER
05:41I'm ready for that. Immediately.
05:42I am desperate.
05:43APPLAUSE
05:45Lianna, I'm thinking of getting into rap.
05:48Are you?
05:50What would my rap name be?
05:55He wouldn't be into rap.
05:57LAUGHTER
05:58APPLAUSE
06:03All right, so, we have one more prize to ask to hear from,
06:06and it is Shania.
06:07I have brought in a snakeskin.
06:10Whoa!
06:12So, me and my dad, we're going for a bike ride in the woods,
06:15and then we stopped for a rest and we found a snakeskin
06:17just lying around on the floor.
06:19OK. Rather terrifying.
06:21Yeah.
06:22I took it home and I showed it to my mum
06:25and she got so scared of it, she threw it in the attic.
06:29Are there snakes in...? I moved here because there weren't snakes.
06:32I'm scared now. I'm from New Zealand.
06:34The most terrifying we've got is the adder, right?
06:36But I don't think an adder can really nobble you to...
06:40LAUGHTER
06:42This is absolutely not the sort of thing that should be put out as fact.
06:46How big are adders? They're quite small.
06:48This is all made up. Adders aren't that big.
06:50LAUGHTER
06:52And they're only really troublesome if they're airborne.
06:55LAUGHTER
06:57OK, well, I think it is high time I doled out some points for this.
06:59So, Finlay, you've got the steely stare of someone
07:03who's going to pluck a feather out of me.
07:06But I am going to give one point to the hawk feather
07:08because I'm not that surprised by that.
07:11Liana, Cardi B hat, I wouldn't be necessarily surprised
07:14to see that in your house.
07:16Sinead, I'm going to give you three points for the snakeskin.
07:18It's very, very close between George and O'Briemer,
07:21but I think I'm going to go four points for George
07:23and five points to O'Briemer's cobble cutout.
07:25OK. Very surprising.
07:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:29OK, it's time for the first task of the night,
07:32and I would like to hear what it was.
07:35Yack.
07:37That was good. Thank you for the smile there.
07:40Words are weapons, children are the future.
07:42Put them together and you should have some sort of plasma gun
07:45with a limerick setting.
07:46Or a very sharp noun.
07:48Let's find out.
07:50MUSIC PLAYS
08:02Finlay. Hello.
08:05Hello, George. Yeah. Salute.
08:08There she is. Hello. Hello, Sinead.
08:13That does not look safe. No. No, it doesn't, does it? No.
08:17Feeling chipper? Very. Good.
08:20Can I open this? I'd be delighted if you would.
08:25Say 15 very different words in 30 seconds,
08:29then open the next task.
08:31What next task?
08:34OK. Um...
08:36Beans.
08:39Egg.
08:42Flower.
08:43Pineapple, pear, apple, fruit.
08:46Leaf.
08:48Camera, phone.
08:50School.
08:52Rabbit, potato.
08:54Camera, red.
08:57Red.
08:58School.
09:00Rose.
09:01Paper.
09:02Words.
09:03Binoculars.
09:05Watch.
09:06Compass.
09:08Flower.
09:10Foam.
09:12Cat, dog, spray.
09:15Wall. Plastic.
09:17Bathroom. Stumps.
09:18Glasses. Feet.
09:20Shoes.
09:22Sweet. Sugar.
09:23Pizza. Tomato.
09:25Lights. People.
09:27Death.
09:30Er...
09:32Er... Er...
09:35Screen.
09:36Room. Pencil.
09:38Rubber. House.
09:40Er...
09:42Lens. Blue.
09:44Pink. Chainsaw.
09:46Table. Movie.
09:48Chicken. Red.
09:50Weight.
09:52There we go.
09:53What was that in 30 seconds?
09:54Car.
09:56Um... Oh, my gosh.
09:58Cat.
10:02Let's see what the devastating news is.
10:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:11Let's see what the devastating news is.
10:13That's how I wake up every morning.
10:16I've got to go through some of the words that were said particularly...
10:19Let's start with George. I got...
10:20Light. People. Death.
10:24It's just hard to name the things around me.
10:26So, then, what around you reminded you of death?
10:29Mike Wozniak.
10:30LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
10:33Wow.
10:35Thank you, George. Kids these days.
10:37He's not the first to say it.
10:40Liana, I'm immediately coming into that room and commenting,
10:43that does not look safe.
10:45Are you usually vigilant about safety?
10:48I don't trust him.
10:50You don't trust Mike?
10:52What, how does that make you feel, Mike?
10:54I don't know. Well, it's chilling when someone can really get a read
10:57on you, isn't it, you know?
11:00OK, I'd love to see more.
11:01Let's see how Finlay got on, shall we? OK.
11:04Say 15 different words in 30 seconds.
11:09Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
11:11Done. Isn't... Oh, no, that's one word.
11:14LAUGHTER
11:16Hello, my name is Finlay, I love Harry Potter and lots of other things
11:20cos I go and play games all the time.
11:24I think that's 15 words, I'm not sure.
11:26WHISTLE BLOWS
11:28Thank you very much. You're welcome.
11:32LAUGHTER
11:34Put on the goggles and completely cover your face in shaving cream,
11:38then open the next does as another.
11:40OK.
11:44Up my way.
11:45I'm excited for this. Yeah.
11:48Is this something you've done before? No, but I've always wanted to do it.
11:52With shaving cream? Yeah.
11:57Oh, it's cold.
12:01LAUGHTER
12:04Tastes nice?
12:07Enjoying this?
12:09Oh, I don't want to get it in my hair.
12:11Are you going out later?
12:13Yes.
12:14LAUGHTER
12:17Oh, that's disgusting.
12:18Oh.
12:21Do you feel nice?
12:23It looks quite nice.
12:25Do you want to try? I'm fine, thank you.
12:30Is this cold enough?
12:32What do you think?
12:33I don't know, I don't have a mirror.
12:35Sure, it looks like it's cold enough.
12:36LAUGHTER
12:38I'm cold.
12:39I'm cold.
12:40OK.
12:41I can't do the next task, mate.
12:43Here's the next task.
12:45LAUGHTER
12:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
12:49I mean, did everyone have a bit of fun doing that?
12:52Yeah. Yes?
12:54Very messy. Did anyone get it in their hair?
12:56I'm not even going to talk about the horrors that happened.
12:58LAUGHTER
13:00I've heard you've made quite interesting concoctions
13:02to put on the face.
13:03I just grab all of the weirdest stuff I can find in the bathroom.
13:06Yeah, and then putting it on the face, OK.
13:08Sometimes not on the face, maybe just, like, on the wall.
13:11LAUGHTER
13:13Finlay, how was that putting all that shaving cream on your face, though?
13:16Amazing. I feel like my dad when he's shaving himself.
13:20He does the full forehead, does he?
13:21LAUGHTER
13:23I got a shout-out for supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,
13:26but then immediately realising that's just one word.
13:30I didn't realise I said 25 words.
13:32So you kind of overshot it a bit.
13:33Just speak really fast, and then it's over.
13:36You can go home.
13:37LAUGHTER
13:39Ain't it the truth?
13:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:42All right, it's time for a break now.
13:45Join us back here soon. Very soon.
13:47I'm starting the clock. Go!
13:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:57It's part two here on Junior Taskmaster,
13:59which is just like regular Taskmaster,
14:01except the contestants still have hopes and dreams
14:04and their hearts haven't died yet.
14:06How is your heart doing, Mike?
14:09Very much at midlife crisis stage.
14:11Thank you recently disappeared and bought a jet ski.
14:15Shall we see the next part of the task?
14:16I would love that.
14:18Right.
14:20Catch as many petals on your face as possible in 30 seconds.
14:25Then open the next task.
14:29Are you going to throw the petals?
14:32Oh, are you going to fly it?
14:33BUZZER
14:35LAUGHTER
14:36MUSIC
14:41Ah!
14:49Ah!
14:51MUSIC
14:59LAUGHTER
15:20Give me the petals!
15:21LAUGHTER
15:23WHISTLE BLOWS
15:25Do I look good?
15:26APPLAUSE
15:28Who can I have the other half?
15:30Thank you. You're welcome.
15:32Another one.
15:34Oh, do you mind opening it?
15:37Certainly.
15:39Say...
15:41Are you kidding me?
15:42Say the 15 words that you said in the first 30 seconds.
15:47The most correctly remembered words wins.
15:49You have 30 seconds. Your time starts now.
15:51APPLAUSE
15:54Can I firstly just say,
15:56that was, like, the weirdest perfume ad I've ever seen.
15:58Oh, it was a therapy. Really?
16:00Yeah, I can rec... And any parent out there,
16:02I can, you know, fire high-velocity petals into children you know,
16:06children you don't know.
16:08How did it feel to be the recipient of that?
16:10It felt like that massage that you've never had before.
16:13Have you ever had a massage, Sabrina?
16:15My mum sometimes rubs my feet. Mm-hm.
16:17And this is before or after you've scared her down the stairs?
16:20LAUGHTER
16:23Mumbles don't do this for me.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:26What are you doing, Mum?
16:29I mean, Liana, every clip I'm watching,
16:31there is just a sense of just genuine shock at what Mike's doing.
16:34Do you find that a lot with adults or just Mike?
16:37Just Mike.
16:38LAUGHTER
16:40OK, what now?
16:41Well, there is just one last little bit.
16:44OK. Car, house, school, pencil, rubber.
16:48Pineapple, fruit, erm...
16:51Room, wall, death, line.
16:55BUZZER
16:56Table, rabbit, red, camera, lens.
17:01Watch, camera, phone, iPad.
17:04BUZZER
17:05Erm...
17:06White, red, leaf, froze, people, plastic, white.
17:11BUZZER
17:12I think. Door.
17:13BUZZER
17:14I say random things now. Curl up around me. Camera.
17:16BUZZER
17:17Potato. Potato. Cat, dog.
17:21BUZZER
17:22TV, rug. BUZZER
17:23Paper, wood, erm...
17:26Spray, bowl. BUZZER
17:29Flour, chainsaw.
17:31BUZZER
17:33I'm going to say elephant. BUZZER
17:35Chicken. BUZZER
17:36Erm...
17:39Hello, my name is Finlay.
17:41I like Harry Potter and I like to play games.
17:43That's a lot of words, isn't it? OK. BUZZER
17:46Flour. BUZZER
17:47Oh! BUZZER
17:48Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! That hit!
17:51Sorry.
17:52Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
17:53BUZZER
17:54Bye, mate.
17:56Bye? Yes.
17:57You done with me?
17:59Yes. There's no other tasks.
18:00OK.
18:04They look wonderful.
18:06Right, goodbye.
18:08Bye, George.
18:09APPLAUSE
18:12Oh!
18:15Pretty good.
18:17Mr Brimer, are you a good memory guy?
18:19If I want to be.
18:21Jenea, you made a sound that I quite liked there.
18:23It wasn't even a word, it was like a...
18:25HE MAKES EXPLOSION SOUNDS
18:27Very expressive.
18:28My brain just went blank and I thought that was a word.
18:32It could be.
18:33George, what I missed in the first one was
18:35people, death, chainsaw, table.
18:38No, I thought the leaf blower was a chainsaw.
18:41Oh! Right, that would have been a very different task, wouldn't it?
18:43Yeah.
18:44That would have been a very different task.
18:48I don't know how well they did there, actually.
18:50Well, I've got stats for you.
18:51I can tell you, Lianna got 23 petals on her face.
18:54Finlay got 24, as did George.
18:55Jenea, 28.
18:57Brimer got 59 petals on his face.
18:59APPLAUSE
19:05Which, of course, is utterly meaningless,
19:07because the task is to remember the words.
19:09Yes.
19:10So, George remembered eight words.
19:12Jenea, Brimer and Lianna all remembered nine words.
19:16Slipping in past the rest with 11 words, it's Finlay.
19:19So, he gets five points, then, I suppose.
19:21Yeah! Fantastic.
19:22APPLAUSE
19:25All right, shall we see how that all looks on the scoreboard?
19:28Well, here it is.
19:29As you can see, it's very tight at the moment,
19:31but we have a Brimer in the lead with nine points.
19:33APPLAUSE
19:36So, Brother Mike, what's up next?
19:40Well, Rose, here's a task in which our contestants
19:42were hoping not to get unstuck.
20:00Hello, Jenea. Hello.
20:02Hello. Hello, Brimer.
20:04Howdy, Mike.
20:05Howdy, George. How are you feeling?
20:08Good. Hello, Lianna.
20:10Hi, Mike.
20:13How are you feeling?
20:14I'm pretty confident about this one.
20:16Hello, Finlay. Hello.
20:18Can I open it? Certainly. Go for it.
20:24Have you got the hiccups?
20:25No.
20:26That's my laugh, Mike.
20:28Was it?
20:29Oh, my God.
20:31How did you prepare for the day?
20:33I woke up, I went downstairs for breakfast. Yeah.
20:36Had some pancakes and fruit.
20:38Pancakes? Only for special days.
20:41Oh, no, it's stuck.
20:43How's it going, George? Not well.
20:45I can't get the tape off.
20:48Stick as many different things to you as possible.
20:51Most different things stuck to you and Mike blows his whistle wins.
20:54You have ten minutes. Your time starts now.
20:58What are you thinking?
20:59Getting the tape off this table.
21:00I need to get rid of this.
21:02So, is there anything else?
21:05Sticky.
21:07Sticky, sticky, sticky.
21:11Right.
21:14Look, I think the way a person comes into a room,
21:17says a lot about their personality.
21:20George, immediately with a howdy.
21:23Are you a literal cowboy?
21:24Yeah, I'm Texan.
21:27Whereas, Liana, you come into a room
21:29with the weight of the world on your shoulders
21:31as soon as you see Mike.
21:32You're like someone who works in HR being like,
21:34not you again, oh, my gosh.
21:38Also, Ibrahima, you were just saying
21:41that you had a special day that day.
21:42You had pancakes for breakfast, right?
21:45That's great.
21:46Do you have, like, the best parents in the world?
21:47You're getting massages, you're getting pancakes for breakfast.
21:52No, it's just because the hotel had it.
21:54Oh.
21:55Fair enough.
21:58Fair enough.
22:00OK, guys, this is a rather straightforward task, I feel.
22:03Perhaps. Yeah, can we see something?
22:04Let's see, well, let's have a look at Ibrahima,
22:06Shania and Liana, shall we?
22:10Big scissors.
22:11Big scissors.
22:12I think there's stickers in here.
22:14Are there stickers in the shed?
22:15Yeah.
22:16Are you sticky yourself?
22:17I'm very sticky. Yeah.
22:19I like to stick to things.
22:20How would you make yourself sticky?
22:22If there was glue in here, I'd just put it all over myself.
22:25Are you getting stickier with age?
22:28I think I'm just staying sticky.
22:29Staying sticky. You're a peak sticky.
22:31Yeah.
22:32Who's the stickiest person you know?
22:36I think the question's that.
22:37OK, we'll just...
22:39A bit of Bantz.
22:41Has anyone stuck a brick onto a girl before?
22:44No. No.
22:46These scissors are useless.
22:47Mm-hm.
22:48Wow.
22:52Glitter's messy.
22:53Yeah, you're definitely making a nice mess, aren't you?
22:55Yeah.
22:56But whatever it takes to win.
23:02Oh.
23:03Oh.
23:04These are sticky, I think.
23:06I think there's a little burst in there.
23:09I've got to choose a colour.
23:10No, you're just slowing us down.
23:13WHISTLE BLOWS
23:17What am I going to do now?
23:19Take it off or something?
23:21All the information's in the task.
23:24Goodbye, mate.
23:26Thank you, Anna.
23:27Goodbye. Goodbye.
23:29How do you feel that went?
23:31Sticky.
23:33Wow.
23:35O'Brien, I have to say,
23:37you are very, very kind to this old, old man.
23:41Because his line of questioning is just so inane, it seems,
23:45and you're just so generous with him.
23:46Do you find that's the best way to deal with him?
23:48Yes, the quicker I say yes, the quicker we get...
23:51It gets over.
23:52Yeah.
23:53I agree.
23:54Yeah.
23:55Do you think you have to speak to a lot of adults like that sometimes?
23:58No.
23:59Just mine.
24:00Just mine!
24:02Why is everybody hating on you?
24:04He's a nice old man.
24:05Old, old, old, old, old man.
24:08Leave him alone.
24:09Yeah, leave him alone.
24:10He's a nice old man.
24:12All right. OK, Mike.
24:13I am ready for the next part of the task.
24:15Who have we got?
24:16It is time for Finlay and George.
24:19Come on, Mike.
24:20What's happening?
24:21Well, I'm taking this inside.
24:23What's the strategy here? Talk me through it.
24:25I'm going to get everything on the table and then stick them to me.
24:29I've got my things. I'll make my compost.
24:32Does every piece of straw count?
24:33What does it say on the task?
24:35Many different things.
24:38Oh, these scissors are absolute rubbish.
24:42Mike, take the tape off.
24:46That's a lot of things in one.
24:49I'm sticking these to myself.
24:51OK. Am I right in thinking you're trying to stick a large block of straw
24:55to your leg? Is that correct?
24:57Er, yes. Like a sort of rustic shin pad?
24:59Yes.
25:00This tape...
25:02..isn't working.
25:04Good boy.
25:05Do I really get called a good boy?
25:08More tape.
25:09Good.
25:11On my back.
25:12Yeah, yeah.
25:13More tape.
25:14Can you tape this to my head?
25:16How's that?
25:17More tape!
25:19WHISTLE BLOWS
25:21Yay!
25:27You want me to count every single individual piece of straw?
25:30Yes.
25:33Do you think you've found your look?
25:35Yeah, it's going to attract all the ladies.
25:37Nice. Thank you.
25:38Goodbye. Thank you, too.
25:40APPLAUSE
25:41Wow.
25:46Finlay, I mean, you look like the most chic Halloween pumpkin man
25:49I've ever seen.
25:50Why did you stick a whole bin of straw to yourself?
25:53Oh!
25:54There's different pieces of straw in that bag,
25:57and there's lots of them, for about millions.
25:59Like, this is straw number one, this is straw number two,
26:01and this is straw number three.
26:03So it's all of the, uh...
26:04OK, OK.
26:06But the thing is, that bunch of little things made into one big thing.
26:10So wouldn't that only classify it as one thing?
26:12Yeah.
26:13No, no, no.
26:16I think he should be counted as an entire thing,
26:18because he's just putting one big thing on himself.
26:20Right, OK.
26:21So, the task did very clearly state different items,
26:26and I just don't believe you'd be able to tell
26:28one piece of straw from another.
26:30Right, well, shall I give you some stats?
26:31I'd love some stats.
26:32Right, if we are going for that straw is all the same,
26:35that does bring George down from 77,633 down to five.
26:43Sorry, George.
26:44Ibrahima's on 10, Shania's on 12,
26:46Liana has a total of 15 different items,
26:48but Finlay had 23 in that outfit.
26:51All right.
26:52So, that is one point to George, two points to Ibrahima,
26:57three points to Shania, four points to Liana,
27:00and then the full five points to Finlay.
27:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:05That is the end of part two,
27:06and it's time now for a magic trick
27:08where we make this show disappear for a couple of minutes.
27:10Say the magic word, Mikey.
27:12Advert cadabra.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:25Welcome back.
27:26What did you lot do in the break?
27:28Mike went to the toilet, but he left his microphone on
27:30and we all heard him crying.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:32Pull yourself together and tell me what the next task is.
27:34OK. Thank you.
27:36Rose?
27:37Magic, mystery, illusion, France.
27:42This task involves none of these things,
27:43but it does involve peas.
27:46HE GASPS
27:47LAUGHTER
27:58MUSIC STOPS
28:03Liana. Hello. Hello.
28:05Hello, Mike. Hello, Finlay.
28:06How are you? Very well. Come in, come in.
28:09Bonjour, Mike.
28:10Bonjour, George.
28:13It's very nice. It's very cosy. I like the cushions.
28:16Do you caravan?
28:18I have my auntie who has a caravan.
28:21Good auntie?
28:23Mm. I don't really speak to her.
28:24No. No, I should speak to mine more.
28:29I must give her a ring.
28:30LAUGHTER
28:31Can I open this?
28:33Sure. OK.
28:35Hide the peas that are currently on the tees.
28:38You have five minutes. Your time starts now.
28:41So, do you want to leave?
28:44No, thank you. I'm going to stay here.
28:46So, who are we hiding them from?
28:48Good question.
28:49Do you know where I'm actually going to hide them? Mm.
28:52Don't tell, but I'll hide them over there.
28:54Is that a good idea, to tell me that?
28:55LAUGHTER
28:59Yes.
29:00LAUGHTER
29:02APPLAUSE
29:06A classic intro from George.
29:08Bonjour. Ah!
29:10He is a classy man.
29:12Now, Liana, your auntie had a caravan, yes? Mm-hm.
29:15Mike, did you end up talking to your auntie?
29:17I... Well, I've taken my auntie out for lunch since then.
29:21Shout-out to Auntie Barbara.
29:22LAUGHTER
29:24Did you manage to take your auntie out for lunch?
29:28No.
29:29Why not?
29:30I'm name.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:36Right, I don't want to dilly-dally,
29:37I just want to see how they got on here, actually.
29:39OK, time to see some pea hiding.
29:42Right, how long did it say?
29:44Five minutes. Come on, then, let's go.
29:45I'm staying here. OK.
29:49Oh, I didn't get all the peas off the tees.
29:51That one's in.
29:52Yeah!
29:53This is the best place.
29:56You good at hiding things?
29:57Yeah, I just wonder who I'm hiding them from.
29:59Who do you think?
30:00I don't know. Steven Seagal?
30:02I don't know who that is.
30:03Annika Rice?
30:05Can you please pass me that pea? Certainly.
30:06Go on.
30:08Kate Bush.
30:09LAUGHTER
30:15Good luck finding that one, Mike!
30:17Pardon?
30:20Going to the bathtub.
30:22OK, so I think I'm hiding these from Mike,
30:25so if Mike aren't really going to look there
30:27with his restricted vision, I think he's an old man, isn't he?
30:30LAUGHTER
30:32Perfect.
30:35Oh!
30:37There's a big bowl of peas here!
30:39There's a big bowl of peas? Yeah.
30:40What's it doing there? I don't know.
30:42What are you going to do about it? Hide them.
30:44OK.
30:45You've got one minute.
30:51How did that go?
30:52Well, it went good. I got some good hiding places.
30:55Yeah. It might be hard to find...
30:57For who? You.
30:58For me? Yeah.
31:01Oh, no.
31:04Oh!
31:11What does it say?
31:18Retrieve the pea...
31:20Retrieve the peas and put them back on their tees.
31:23Most pears back on their tees in the fastest time wins.
31:26You have a maximum of ten minutes.
31:28Your time starts now. Right, let's go.
31:32Looks like bad news. Is it bad news?
31:33LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
31:41Wow, OK.
31:42So, retrieve the peas and put them back on their tees.
31:44Did notice a lot of people just threw them.
31:47Just hoofing it into the grass, some of them.
31:49That might have been hard to find.
31:51Yeah.
31:52Shania, I saw you at one point trying to hide a pea in a zebra's ear.
31:56Yeah. Did that work out?
31:58No, so then I tried the mouth cos I thought it might be hungry.
32:01Oh!
32:03I wrote this down.
32:04Finlay hiding a pea and saying,
32:06is Mike going to look there with his restricted vision?
32:10Yeah. I think he's an old man, isn't he?
32:13Wow. Look, I Googled it.
32:15Aren't you, like, 46?
32:17LAUGHTER
32:18Do not Google how old we are!
32:20You're 32, you're 40 something.
32:22In the first half, you said,
32:23we're allowed to be mean to him, we're not being mean to him.
32:26I forgot I did that!
32:27LAUGHTER
32:29Viewers watching at home, yes, we have lost control of the game.
32:32LAUGHTER
32:34Look, I'm not going to lie, I'm a little worried about how you're
32:38going to manage the next part of this task.
32:39Mike, please show me who's next.
32:41It's Liana and Shania.
32:46That pot is down there.
32:47Down there? Mm-hm.
32:49Mm. That's tricky, isn't it?
32:51Maybe there's something you should get up with. OK.
32:53Looking for the peas cos that's the only thing I can do.
32:57Looking for peas in a lawn of green grass.
33:00Yes.
33:01Is that a bit like a metaphor for life, in a way?
33:03Yeah, like finding a needle in a haystack.
33:05OK. Oh, yeah, there's a perfectly serviceable one already, isn't there?
33:08Yeah.
33:09Let's use that.
33:11How do you normally cook your peas?
33:12Is there something you could do with your peas that would
33:15zhuzh them up a little bit?
33:16A bit of seasoning?
33:18Even a bit of... A pat of butter?
33:20I'm trying to find peas.
33:21Right, so... Can you help?
33:23What would you like me to do?
33:24Find the peas. There's some in there.
33:26LAUGHTER
33:28You know what? The ones I threw, I obviously can't get them back now,
33:31so I'm going to use these peas to replace them.
33:33APPLAUSE
33:36Done. Really? Yeah.
33:38WHISTLE BLOWS
33:40Very keen.
33:41Wait, I need to find something that may be able to help us
33:43get the one from the...
33:46CHOIR SINGS
33:48LAUGHTER
33:51What have you found? Peas.
33:55Well, those are my... That's where I keep my peas. Those are my peas.
33:58They still count.
33:59Never says anything that it doesn't.
34:01Oh, there's two more.
34:04There we go. I am done.
34:06WHISTLE BLOWS
34:07APPLAUSE
34:09Wow.
34:11You play.
34:15Lianna, I want to say that your reaction to finding the peas in the fridge,
34:19it was almost like you just played it really cool.
34:21You were like, yeah, I knew those peas were in the fridge the whole time.
34:24I knew I was going to get the task right.
34:26Oh! You were like, I've got this. Mm-hm.
34:28Are you a cool cucumber?
34:31Am I the nerdiest person alive?
34:33Yeah! Are you actually...?
34:34No, don't answer that.
34:36LAUGHTER
34:37Are you a cool cucumber, Lianna? I'll stick with it.
34:41Yeah, sure, we'll see that.
34:42LAUGHTER
34:44Shania, you started looking for peas in the grass.
34:48At first, when I saw the grass... Mm-hm.
34:50..I thought, I'm doomed.
34:52Yeah.
34:54And then I remembered I had those peas.
34:57Oh, my gosh. Oh, yes, that entire bowl of peas
34:59might be handy in this task.
35:01Yeah.
35:02On the first task, I hid those peas as well.
35:05So, technically, they're peas that I hid, so I'm retrieving them.
35:08Right, cos there is a technicality there, I suppose.
35:10I could say, oh, those weren't the peas that were on the tees,
35:13those were other peas. Yeah.
35:14But, honestly, I can't be bothered.
35:16LAUGHTER
35:17Moving on, Mike, who's next?
35:19Oh, next up, it's O'Briemer and Finlay.
35:26Do you remember where all the peas went?
35:28Yes, I do.
35:30I'm going to take this with me.
35:31OK.
35:33There's one somewhere here.
35:35Do you want to play Hot or Colder?
35:37Oh, well, do you know where they are?
35:39No. Oh.
35:4213, 14...
35:44Into the house.
35:47All right, I know I hid one in here, but I don't know...
35:50Where? In the keyhole?
35:51In the keyhole, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get it.
35:53We need to be fast.
35:55OK.
35:56I need to go to the bathtub, cos I definitely got something there.
35:59I've got half a pea, does that count?
36:03Come on, don't do this to me.
36:05OK. Do you mind holding this for me?
36:07You want me to hold the pea? Thank you. Sure.
36:10Who do you know who'd be best at finding peas?
36:12Probably Dinner Ladies.
36:15LAUGHTER
36:17Calling it a day?
36:19Yeah.
36:21WHISTLE BLOWS
36:2218 out of 20.
36:24OK, I'm OK with that.
36:26Now what?
36:27Well, it's quite a relaxing place.
36:29Mm-hm, just chill.
36:31Yeah, just chill. Mm-hm.
36:32Trying to think about the other two peas.
36:34Yeah.
36:36But hey-ho, we'll find them soon enough.
36:39LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
36:46Riley, you were just a man on a mission.
36:47You were like, right, we're doing this, we're getting them done.
36:50I thought I did well, you know,
36:51but now I know that there were those bowl of peas
36:53and they were quite annoyed.
36:55In the task, it said,
36:58you need to retrieve the peas that were on the tees.
37:01Yeah. The peas in the bowl weren't on the tees.
37:04So that shouldn't count.
37:05The peas that were on the tees.
37:06We couldn't get them.
37:07Gosh, I love making the children fight.
37:10LAUGHTER
37:11It's so much fun.
37:13Anyway.
37:14I have the phrasing.
37:15The phrasing simply was retrieve the peas
37:18and put them back in the tees. The peas!
37:20I don't... I really...
37:22I just almost don't care.
37:23LAUGHTER
37:25All right, one more contestant left.
37:27It's George, but it's time for a break now.
37:29But not for you. Drop and give me 50.
37:31Come on.
37:32LAUGHTER
37:33Right now.
37:34One, two, three!
37:37APPLAUSE
37:46Wow! Welcome back to the final part of the show.
37:49Now it's time to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Waz.
37:53Nyek!
37:54LAUGHTER
37:55I want to know how George got on, please.
37:58Let's have a look, my Capitan.
37:59Ooh!
38:00LAUGHTER
38:01LAUGHTER
38:03I know where five are.
38:05I think that's all five.
38:07How well hidden are the peas?
38:09Er...
38:10A bit too well hidden.
38:11OK.
38:12Right. Erm, Mike.
38:14Yes? Go find them.
38:16They're on the ground. I've got to find them?
38:18Yeah, if you... Haven't you got to find them?
38:19No, I don't care. You're finding them.
38:21Use your eyes. But I'm not a contestant.
38:23I've got no skin in the game here.
38:25You made the task, so you're doing it.
38:27I'm very bad at finding things.
38:29I can tell.
38:31Maybe the peas have been eaten.
38:32By what?
38:34Creatures.
38:36Creepy-crawlies.
38:37You're the only creature here.
38:39What are you? I found one!
38:41I found a pea!
38:42I bet you're going to eat this, even in my eyes, this.
38:45I found one.
38:47You've got two and a half minutes left.
38:50All right, I'm just going to put some green things on it
38:52and pretend it's a pea, all right?
38:54Some pretend peas?
38:56Yeah. Don't care what you say, the peas.
38:59So you don't think the junior taskmaster will be able to tell
39:01the difference between a pea and a clod of grass?
39:03No.
39:05OK.
39:07Blur it off. This is not a good day.
39:10Right, Mike.
39:11Put them on and make them stay there.
39:13There's a green stuff on? Yep. Right.
39:15Even though this is pea forgery?
39:16Just the green stuff, right? Yeah.
39:18If you put any of the mud on, you're getting fired.
39:21Oh, yeah, and that pea there.
39:25It's quite stressful, George.
39:27Pea fraud.
39:29George?
39:30Yes? You've got ten seconds left.
39:33Go on, what are you...?
39:35That one, up there.
39:37Put it on, Mike.
39:39Mike!
39:43Thank you, George.
39:45Look, it's done.
39:48Sure.
39:50It's your fault, Mike.
39:51It's my fault? It's your fault.
39:53Sorry, George.
39:54Bad boy.
40:00But, I mean, watching that back,
40:02there were so many different strategies and tactics that you had.
40:05Well, now I think about it,
40:07I don't think I should have threw them and actually hit them.
40:09Yeah.
40:10I should have realised there's a second part to the task.
40:13But, equally, you did find a pea and you said, and I quote,
40:17greatest achievement of my life, this.
40:20I mean, I've just got to say, like, the insults were just flying.
40:23Yeah, I mean, he took me down a few pegs.
40:27Finishing with the ultimate, yes, and he did call me a bad boy.
40:30Well, but, you know, maybe I had been a bad boy on reflection, you know?
40:35All right, everyone's screaming about the bowl of peas.
40:38Are the peas the peas? Are the peas...? I don't know.
40:40I'm going to accept it. Yes!
40:42I'm accepting the bowl of peas as peas that you can put back
40:45onto the tees, all right? Yes!
40:47All right, so, yeah, well...
40:48APPLAUSE
40:50You want some raw stats? The stats, yes, I want the stats.
40:53We aimed for fastest wins.
40:55George managed six actual peas in ten minutes.
40:58That's not including the counterfeit peas.
41:00Brymer, 18 peas also in ten minutes.
41:02Liana managed 20 peas in eight minutes, 15 seconds.
41:06Finny was quicker than that, with five minutes, 11,
41:08but 18 and a half peas.
41:10And Sinead got the full 20 peas in four minutes and 41 seconds.
41:14Aha! All right.
41:16APPLAUSE
41:18So, taking the lead, we're going to take a look at the results.
41:21Oh, good. So, taking into account those statistics,
41:25it would be one point for George,
41:27but I am going to award a special bonus point,
41:29just because I loved the exit from the caravan,
41:31the ingenuity of its insults to Mike.
41:34So, two points to George.
41:36We're going to go two points to a Brymer,
41:39three points to Finlay, four points to Liana,
41:42but that means a full five points to Sinead.
41:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:47I love peas, though.
41:49All right.
41:50So, what has that done to the scores?
41:53In second place, neck and neck, we've got Liana and Finlay,
41:56but currently in the lead is Sinead, with 15 points.
41:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:01All right. It's all in the paper.
42:04So, you wild bunch of Retskelians,
42:06make your way over to the stage for the final task of the show.
42:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:16Ha-ha.
42:17All right, Michael, who will be reading the task out tonight?
42:20Liana, please.
42:23Open a can.
42:24You must open the first can you touch.
42:26If you open a can that has something in it, you are out.
42:29The person who stays in the longest wins.
42:32OK, so hopefully that's clear.
42:33It has to be the first can you touch.
42:36That's it. And if you are out, then we'd be delighted
42:38if you'd make your way to the elimination bench,
42:41as we're calling it, as tactfully as we possibly can.
42:44LAUGHTER
42:46If you're ready, Rose.
42:47I'm ready to watch this twisted game.
42:49We'll begin with a brimer, please.
42:54LAUGHTER
42:55He's made his choice.
42:58It's empty.
42:59You could put that in the recycling bin for me.
43:02Finlay's up next.
43:05Lovely. It's empty. Still in the running.
43:08Take it away, George.
43:10There's nothing in it. Nothing in it. He's still in it.
43:13Liana, you're up.
43:17There's nothing in it. Nothing in it.
43:19APPLAUSE
43:20Um...
43:22Hello.
43:26Yes!
43:28One down, two to go. He's still in it.
43:30Oh...
43:32LAUGHTER
43:35The odds are getting more savage.
43:3817.
43:40APPLAUSE
43:41MUSIC CONTINUES
43:42MUSIC CONTINUES
43:44MUSIC CONTINUES
43:45APPLAUSE
43:48MUSIC CONTINUES
43:49MUSIC CONTINUES
43:51MUSIC CONTINUES
43:52There's nothing in it.
43:53It's another empty can.
43:55APPLAUSE
43:56MUSIC CONTINUES
43:58MUSIC CONTINUES
43:59MUSIC CONTINUES
44:01Oh!
44:02LAUGHTER
44:03Oh!
44:04I'm so terribly sorry. You have been attacked by a snake.
44:07Well done, Liana.
44:08APPLAUSE
44:09MUSIC CONTINUES
44:11MUSIC CONTINUES
44:12MUSIC CONTINUES
44:14APPLAUSE
44:1523.
44:17Only three left.
44:18I'm really scared now.
44:19LAUGHTER
44:21MUSIC CONTINUES
44:22MUSIC CONTINUES
44:24Oh!
44:25Three for three.
44:26Never seen anything like it.
44:28No, neither.
44:29It is Kimberley and George.
44:31MUSIC CONTINUES
44:33MUSIC CONTINUES
44:34MUSIC CONTINUES
44:36MUSIC CONTINUES
44:37MUSIC CONTINUES
44:39MUSIC CONTINUES
44:40Wow!
44:42APPLAUSE
44:43I think I'm going to go out.
44:44Fatalistic, George.
44:46LAUGHTER
44:47APPLAUSE
44:48This is nice.
44:50Lovely thing to see, the relief of the pessimist.
44:52LAUGHTER
44:54MUSIC CONTINUES
44:55MUSIC CONTINUES
44:57MUSIC CONTINUES
44:58MUSIC CONTINUES
45:00MUSIC CONTINUES
45:01APPLAUSE
45:03We have a last man standing.
45:04CHEERING
45:06Let's head back down and see what that does to the final score.
45:09CHEERING
45:10MUSIC CONTINUES
45:12CHEERING
45:13For her!
45:15All right.
45:16My chemical romance, take me through that last task.
45:20Well, it was tense stuff.
45:21I think we all felt it.
45:23First out, sadly, was Liana. Gets one point.
45:25Shania, two points.
45:27Next was Ibrahima. Gets three points.
45:29Finlay gets four.
45:30Penultimate guy standing, George,
45:32was the winner of that particular task.
45:34Gets five points.
45:35CHEERING
45:36Well done, everyone.
45:38Well, I would love to hear how that has affected the final scores, please.
45:42Well, hold on to your fedora, Rose.
45:44This is extra special, big-time exciting,
45:46because both the runner-up and the winner
45:48will be going through to the semis
45:50like a hot knife through a parachute canopy.
45:53LAUGHTER
45:55In joint fourth place, with 15 points,
45:59we have George and Liana.
46:01APPLAUSE
46:02I knew you could take me through that last.
46:05And it is very, very, very tight indeed.
46:07Coming in in third place is Ibrahima, with 16 points.
46:10APPLAUSE
46:12In second place, and therefore through to the semis,
46:14with 17 points, it's Shania.
46:16APPLAUSE
46:18Which means...
46:20Tonight's winner is Finlay!
46:21CHEERING
46:24Go on up and collect your most surprising things.
46:26APPLAUSE
46:28Wow, that's epic.
46:29Now, your homework is to read Chapters 14 and 15
46:31of the Taskmaster Syllabus,
46:33and remember, next week is the swimming gala,
46:35so don't forget your trunks!
46:36LAUGHTER
46:37Let's hear it one more time for our contestants,
46:38and, of course, our winner, Finlay!
46:41CHEERING
46:44Las Vegas, baby, for the heart of the action.
46:46From Formula One, the Grand Prix highlights.
46:49Stream or watch Sunday at 12.30.
46:51Now, they are the legends of comedy.
46:53Sir Lenny has an invite to the fun times
46:56with none other than Sally Phillips.
46:58Stream or watch tomorrow at 8.25.
47:00APPLAUSE