Xolo Maridueña has some interesting takes when it comes to relationships—maybe because he thinks his ex is behind these real-life questions from Cosmo readers. The ‘Cobra Kai’ star shares how he would handle awkward situations in this episode of “If It Were Me,” from keeping workplace romances lowkey (don’t be a blabber mouth!) to texting that hot handyman. Watch as Xolo calls out people who blame astrology for their actions, suggests saving water by taking baths together, and gives his advice on calling out a bromance—just don’t.
Stream Season 6, Part 3 of ‘Cobra Kai’ February 13th on Netflix.
#XoloMaridueña #CobraKai #IfItWereMe #Cosmopolitan
Stream Season 6, Part 3 of ‘Cobra Kai’ February 13th on Netflix.
#XoloMaridueña #CobraKai #IfItWereMe #Cosmopolitan
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PeopleTranscript
00:00She can't be serious, right?
00:01Like, I feel like nobody's ever serious when they're like,
00:04I'm a Sagittarius, I have to be adventurous.
00:07Hey, I'm Shola Maridueña.
00:08This is If It Were Me.
00:12Today, I'm going through real-life confessions from Cosmo readers
00:16and telling you how I would handle it.
00:18How would you say you handle awkward situations
00:20when it comes to relationships?
00:22Oh my god, what?
00:23What kind of first question is this?
00:26Did my ex send this to you?
00:28All right, first prompt.
00:31Pause the PDA is the subject line.
00:33My girlfriend loves to pack on the PDA,
00:36but I despise swapping spit in public.
00:38How do we come to a happy medium?
00:41Hmm, this is where the elevators are good.
00:44You know, like you can still be in public, but in private,
00:48you know, nobody wants to be around that weird couple
00:50that's just making out on the side of the road.
00:53You can tell your girlfriend that you don't want to be that folk,
00:55but you know, hey, maybe if you're walking someone up to the car
00:59and then you're like, all right, there you go.
01:00You just sat down, a little smoosh there,
01:02but public PDA is disgusting.
01:06The pricey soaker.
01:08My girlfriend likes to take baths in my apartment
01:10because the, quote, tub has better energy here.
01:13She's up to four baths a day
01:15and my water bill is through the roof.
01:17How do I ask her to chip in?
01:19You got to jump in there, bro.
01:21If the tub is nice enough, you got to save water.
01:24Four baths a day is crazy, though.
01:27That's far too much.
01:29If it was four showers a day, even, I would be like,
01:32let's slow our roll here.
01:33Don't worry about her pitching in.
01:36Run the first bath, right?
01:38Leave it there.
01:39And then the next time, you know, let her leave
01:41and then be like, bae, don't worry.
01:43It's already about to be full.
01:44And then you walk back in there, same tub.
01:46There you go, didn't waste any water.
01:48Same, same bath water.
01:49I feel you, I feel you.
01:51The watchdog.
01:53Let's see, my girlfriend doesn't think it's a big deal
01:55if her dog is in the room while we have sex,
01:58but I can feel him watching me and it's hurting my performance.
02:01How do I get her to keep the dog out?
02:04Yeah, this is a tough one.
02:05Maybe you got to be like, all right, it's time to eat.
02:07You ready to be fed?
02:09Head over to the next room.
02:11Here's a buffet.
02:12Yeah, it definitely is negligent parenting
02:15to leave your dog in the room for show.
02:17Especially there's some dogs that are like,
02:18I want to be up on the bed.
02:19I want to, you're hurting, you're hurting my fam.
02:22Just get that dog out of there.
02:24Odd jobs.
02:26I keep hiring this hot handyman to do work around my house
02:29so that I can keep flirting with him.
02:30I'm running out of jobs to give him
02:32and I'm worried I'll never see him again.
02:34What should I do?
02:35Okay, I mean, you definitely need to find one last job
02:37for him to do, right?
02:38Sounds like you already got him on speed dial,
02:40the hot handyman.
02:42You just need to be like, hey, I'm ready to clean some pipes.
02:46Are you ready to come over?
02:48Is that what you say to handyman?
02:49That's what I say, that's what I text my handyman.
02:52Hey, yo, my shit needs to be gutted.
02:58Late night leak.
02:59I brought a guy home from the bar last night
03:01after we hooked up and I fell asleep.
03:04He drunkenly peed in my dresser drawer
03:07thinking it was the toilet.
03:08This isn't real.
03:08This is a shit post.
03:09There's no way.
03:10Now all of my clothes are ruined.
03:11Do I give up on one night stands?
03:13Yes.
03:14If this person does this, I guarantee you,
03:17you can cut your losses with this man.
03:19He's not the man for you.
03:21This isn't marriage material.
03:23He can't handle his liquor or his bladder.
03:25So this is the only clear answer so far.
03:29Dump this guy.
03:30Well, it's just a one night stand.
03:32Never see him again.
03:33The food sniffer.
03:35My boyfriend loves to describe the smell
03:36and flavor profiles of food while he eats
03:38and it really gets on my nerves for some reason.
03:41How do I bring this up to him?
03:42You can't say, don't let it get on your nerves.
03:45Maybe you gotta be like, yo, you gotta take this
03:47to the workplace, buddy.
03:49Not here.
03:50I do smell my food before I eat it.
03:54Just because?
03:55Like, why wouldn't you?
03:56I am a very neurotic eater.
03:58I am someone who's like, whoa, is that oregano?
04:02Or like, wow, they put cumin in this?
04:04Whoa, they're spicing it up.
04:06I can see it getting a little excessive,
04:08especially if you're like, guys,
04:09we're not on a chopped episode.
04:11I don't need to know the flavor profile.
04:12We're eating the same thing.
04:13I know what it tastes like.
04:15I could get that.
04:16Corporate coital.
04:18After weeks of sexual tension,
04:22my coworker and I finally hooked up.
04:25But she wants to keep the night between us
04:27a secret from the rest of the team.
04:29Should I be offended?
04:30No!
04:32No, don't be offended.
04:34No, you got something cool going on.
04:36You just don't, yeah, don't be offended.
04:39That's y'all's business.
04:41Yeah, you, don't be a blabbermouth.
04:43What the hell?
04:44The bromance.
04:45My boyfriend spends all of his free time
04:47with his buddies and has even canceled
04:49on some of our date nights for them.
04:50How do I call him out on this?
04:52They came first, girl.
04:53I don't know what to tell you.
04:54It's important someone who makes time
04:56for their friends, you know?
04:58And we all know the flip side of this.
05:00We all don't really appreciate that friend
05:03who gets, you know, a partner
05:04and then all of a sudden falls off
05:06the face of the earth, you know?
05:07So find a happy medium.
05:10Bring your girls out.
05:11Be like, hey, let's have the groups join together.
05:14I bring some of my friends,
05:16bring some of the other party's friends,
05:18and then you're always mingling with someone.
05:20Why aren't you allowed to the bromance?
05:22You probably don't even want to be there.
05:23The sore loser.
05:24On our first date, we went to dinner
05:27to watch his favorite baseball team play.
05:29We were hitting it off,
05:30but once his team started losing,
05:32he began screaming at the TV
05:34in front of everyone in the restaurant.
05:35I was mortified.
05:37Do I give him a second date?
05:39Yeah, it's not a red enough flag
05:40to truly be like, all right.
05:42If y'all are at like a sports bar,
05:45this is kind of like the place to do it.
05:47Take it to the living room
05:48and see if he's doing this alone
05:50in his own house with no one else watching.
05:53Because if that's the case,
05:54then you either better start liking baseball
05:57and get into the team as well,
05:59or find someone with a new hobby.
06:02I would suggest try getting into the game once,
06:04you know, go Dodgers.
06:07The flaky satch.
06:08I'm really into this girl I've been seeing,
06:10but she cancels our plans last minute
06:12to take spontaneous road trips
06:14or adventures with her friends.
06:17She blames this on being a Sagittarius.
06:20Is this a legitimate excuse?
06:21I don't think it's a legitimate excuse.
06:24No, I don't know.
06:25She can't be serious, right?
06:26Like no, I feel like nobody's ever serious
06:28when they're like, I'm a Sagittarius.
06:30I have to be adventurous.
06:32Like, it's definitely a little coy.
06:33I'm feeling maybe you just got to plan
06:35your own road trip.
06:36Be like, girl, I'm spontaneous too.
06:39You know, I could do, I could be driving.
06:41You could be passing your princess.
06:43I don't care.
06:45In bed with the enemy.
06:46I hooked up with my neighborhood bartender,
06:48who I loathe.
06:49Whoa, the sex was amazing,
06:52but he's still a douchebag.
06:54Oh my God.
06:55Do I keep having hate sex
06:57or find myself a new bar?
06:59I mean this, you didn't need to write this one in girl.
07:01Like, yeah, don't worry.
07:02Find yourself a new bar.
07:03Let me know what bar this is happening at
07:08and you'll have your issue solved for sure.
07:11Y'all thanks for watching.
07:12I'm Cholo Mayiweña.
07:14Check out the part two of Cobra Kai out now.
07:17I appreciate y'all for having me.