Handsome Hank | Viva TV
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00:00You want me to hold your belt?
00:01Don't get it all greasy.
00:02It looks heavy as f**k.
00:03It's heavy as f**k.
00:04Drink relaxants before fast acting in as little as 30 minutes.
00:10I'm gonna s**t my pants.
00:13This is stupid.
00:14This was a bad idea.
00:16And I'm not, I don't like this job.
00:30Last time we saw you, you were getting laid.
00:36I can walk officially.
00:38It took like three, four weeks, but I can walk.
00:49After doing it, you would have rather gotten punched in the face.
00:52Probably.
00:53I told you, man.
00:54Just knocked out cold, right?
00:55Yeah, you guys thought I was like BSing.
00:57I told Eddie and Chief.
00:59I would rather get punched in the face than leg kicked.
01:01Just knock me out cold.
01:04I literally thought I was gonna s**t my pants.
01:06That's how bad the pain was.
01:07I thought I was gonna just explode.
01:11I didn't even care at that point because I just wanted the pain to go away.
01:13But yeah, walk right in.
01:14Oh, you got the belt?
01:15Can't have the champion here and not have the belt, right?
01:20Chicago.
01:23We got a title, guys.
01:24We got a title.
01:25I wish it could have been two for two that night.
01:28Yeah, bro.
01:34I decided I'm gonna start training.
01:35So in like six, seven months, I'll have one of these on my own.
01:39It's so heavy.
01:40I think there's some actual gold in there somewhere.
01:42I mean, it's dense.
01:46Wow, it's way heavier than you anticipated it would be.
01:48Yeah, the first time I got it, I was like, bro, I'm not carrying this on the plane.
01:51Because I went straight to Abu Dhabi.
01:52So I checked in.
01:53And when I got there, they lost my bag.
01:55And people were like, bro, you checked the belt?
01:57I was like, dude, I just don't want to carry the belt.
01:59This is so awesome.
02:00Here, let's go do a little spin.
02:01This is Jerry.
02:03Big UFC fan.
02:05I'm from Jersey, but I moved here.
02:09He doesn't train too far from there.
02:18It's fucking sweet.
02:19It's sweet.
02:21I tried talking to one guy into getting kicked today.
02:23And he's doing this New Year's Eve resolution, whatever.
02:27And he's still going, actually.
02:29And I'm like, yeah, you'll be fine after an hour.
02:31And then our other guy, Brad, he was like, no, you won't be able to walk for a month.
02:35So he was going to do it, but no.
02:38Let's go check out the gym and all that.
02:40Oh, you guys got a kit, too?
02:42Hey, this is sick.
02:43We got the golf sim right here.
02:45It's actually made me a little better golfer, believe it or not.
02:47Really?
02:48What's up, man?
02:49You want to go sit down and do the gauntlet?
02:51Yeah, you're ready.
02:55Nice to meet you, bro.
02:56Brandon, let him sit in my seat, because I've got to do an interview.
02:58And then he'll do the gauntlet.
02:59Also, we've got three guys who have to cut weight tonight, so you can help them out.
03:02That is true.
03:04Seriously, they each lose 10 pounds tonight.
03:0710 pounds?
03:08Yeah, 10 pounds.
03:09Welcome in.
03:11You want me to hold your belt?
03:13Oh, shit.
03:15Don't get it all greasy.
03:16How's it feel, Brandon?
03:17It's still not big enough.
03:18It looks heavy as fuck.
03:19It's heavy as fuck.
03:20Heavier than you think?
03:21To wear it over the shoulder, it means you had to have won one.
03:23Isn't that the etiquette?
03:24And you hold it in front of you if you've never won one.
03:26Is that true?
03:27I believe so.
03:28Is that true?
03:29Why did I ask you?
03:30I like that.
03:31Is this okay, the way I'm holding it?
03:32Yeah, I like it.
03:33All right.
03:34You just got to do the U up.
03:35As long as the U is at the top, you're good.
03:36All right.
03:37Three, two, one, go.
03:41Sturdy.
03:43I want him to do well, really bad.
03:48Brandon, what are you doing?
03:51You clear him off for everybody else.
03:53He's at home cooking.
03:58Spawner.
03:59Spawner.
04:02Kick his ass.
04:03Kick his actual body.
04:04Nice.
04:11Football, football.
04:12Throw a football, throw a hole.
04:18Nice.
04:19Last one.
04:35There we go.
04:40There we go.
04:43Okay.
04:47Salt.
04:53Oh, no.
04:55How are you feeling?
04:56I'm loading up on salt and water.
05:00You've been doing that for the past six months.
05:03Way to switch it up, Tate.
05:06KB, they say you're going to whip us into shape.
05:08Yeah.
05:09I'm not going to be able to control how you guys feel.
05:11You're going to have to lose 30.
05:12The big thing, you guys are going to have to just realize that you're going to be thirsty.
05:16This has a bunch of activities planned.
05:18I just know the first one is good old-fashioned exercise.
05:22That's the first activity?
05:23In sauna suits.
05:25I thought laxative Lego was the first one.
05:27That's the first act.
05:28Exercise into shitting.
05:30I would like to get Rachel running with my sauna suit on.
05:33I know I'm probably going to somehow end up gaining a pound.
05:38I'm going to get so cranky.
05:39What happens if you gain 10 pounds?
05:42I'm locked in here forever.
05:44I feel like I prepared well for this shit.
05:51Alright, we've got a lot in store for these fuckers.
05:54Laxatives with the Legos.
05:57Drink the laxatives before.
05:58You can't go to the bathroom until you finish your Lego.
06:01Fast acting in as little as 30 minutes.
06:04Someone might be shitting on the court.
06:06They're fucked.
06:07I'm pivoted to the highest sodium sunflower seeds I can find.
06:13And water.
06:15Trying to retain water weight so then I can pee out the water.
06:18One snag is that I've already peed 10 times today.
06:22I can't stop peeing.
06:23It's 7 o'clock.
06:24I'll pee three more times before 8 o'clock.
06:26So I don't know how this is going to work.
06:28I have not shit today.
06:29And I've had to since 8 a.m.
06:31Have you actually had to?
06:32He's not a fucking team player.
06:34No, you're not a team player.
06:35He's pissing like crazy and he's shitting like crazy.
06:37I honestly think I have 7 pounds of shit in me.
06:40The Legos are tough for you guys.
06:42Kyle won't be able to do it.
06:43There's 100 piece, 150 piece, and then 250 piece.
06:46If Kyle, Kyle won't be able to do any.
06:49I've tried to see him operate some of the most simple tech.
06:53And it's beyond him.
06:54What do you think Adderall would do?
06:56You wouldn't want to eat.
06:58You would sweat more.
06:59Like if you were active on Adderall you'd sweat.
07:01That's all I needed to hear.
07:03I told Nick and KB that I was not going to shit.
07:05I had 20 wings, hot wings.
07:08I had two tubs of ice cream.
07:10I had mac and cheese.
07:11I had a cheese steak.
07:13And at like 2 p.m. today I just fucking, I pooped.
07:16You pooped.
07:17I texted you what time last night.
07:19Not that late.
07:20You were like, I'm done.
07:21And what did I tell you?
07:22This is my final shit.
07:23You got my word, yeah.
07:25Look at my asshole.
07:26It's not there.
07:28There's no fresh tracks.
07:30Feel this.
07:32This is quite literally, it has to be 10 pounds of water in this belly right now.
07:36We got some albulene.
07:40We'll be rubbing this over every square inch of our bodies.
07:43Including face and mouth.
07:44From the beginning?
07:45After the first weigh in?
07:46Yeah.
07:47Okay.
07:48I'm hoping you guys have sweats to put over this sauna suit.
07:51Don't, no.
07:52That's going to help a hat.
07:53I have a hat, I have gloves.
07:55I have my high school basketball team's sweat suit.
07:59I had too much kefir a little bit ago, so it might take me a while to get ready to run.
08:05Can you not sweat when you're scared?
08:07No, I'm just filled with yogurt.
08:08Oh, here.
08:09I thought you said fear.
08:11Kefir.
08:12Kefir.
08:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:14You are live.
08:15We're live.
08:16All right, welcome in to Barstool After Dark.
08:19The rules tonight are simple.
08:20To myself.
08:21We have to do whatever it takes to lose 30 pounds as a group.
08:26I have too much water in me.
08:28I know.
08:29So wait, that's the jersey Ben Mintz wears.
08:31That's Ben Mintz's jersey.
08:33And it fits the same.
08:35It fits like a glove.
08:36209 on the dot.
08:38209 flat.
08:39209.
08:40190.9.
08:42Is that good?
08:43That's damn good.
08:47Wait, Kyle, that was what we wanted.
08:48I know, that was like .01.
08:50All right.
08:51173.1.
08:54All right.
08:56That was the first weigh-in.
09:03Yeah, I just had a bunch of yogurt before this.
09:07So I got to get it out of my belly so I can start running.
09:10Yeah, this is like better than an average day for me.
09:12Okay.
09:14I'm sweating out.
09:18Produces bowel movement in a half an hour to six hours.
09:21Boys, we're going to want to take this.
09:24If I'm on the same page, I'm going to poop my pants.
09:26I mean, you could not.
09:28I wouldn't if I were you.
09:29I think it's not like as spontaneous and intense as you think.
09:33Okay.
09:34All right, fuck it.
09:35If you want to see me poop, I'll poop.
09:36Cheers, boys.
09:37One cannot think well, love well, or sleep well if one is not shit well.
09:41That's right.
09:42That's Virginia Woolf.
09:46It feels good, dude.
09:47Like, my mouth is dry.
09:48Oh, man, that tasted good.
09:49Oh, but like, I'm wrong.
09:51Something's wrong.
09:52You got to restart.
09:53Got to get back to the first step.
09:54I'm going to kill myself.
09:56Chat.
09:57I prompt chat.
09:58Oh, my God, I'm taking it all apart.
09:59I fucked up step one.
10:03I'm going to shit my pants.
10:04The dude worked at P.F. Chang's 13 months ago, and now he has infinite power.
10:11Congrats.
10:14They're starving right now, trying to lose weight.
10:18I'm eating Chipotle right now,
10:20and I am 110% ordering a giant pizza and sitting out there and eating it in about an hour.
10:26Look at all these pieces I have left.
10:29How many pieces?
10:30270?
10:31Auburn Tigers 2, $19.99.
10:34If this was Eggos instead of Legos, Tate would know what to do.
10:39Bro.
10:47Dude, this shit's so hard.
10:51How are we doing, Tate?
10:52Not good.
10:54The double laxative shot has me fucked up.
11:00What's the next?
11:01Sweat?
11:02Weigh in?
11:03I'm going to piss.
11:04I don't have to shit anymore.
11:06I don't know, man.
11:08My whole body's soaking wet.
11:11My asshole's shitting out liquids.
11:15I don't know, man.
11:17Is Kyle shitting?
11:32This is good shit.
11:33It's not great shit.
11:36But yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:38It's hard to move in here.
11:39I'm still at, like,
11:40I've been to much worse depths.
11:44I'm not even thirsty yet.
11:46I get so thirsty,
11:48I drive to Circle K and I look at the Gatorades like they were fireworks.
11:53Just, like, gawk at the new flavors.
12:00Bounce.
12:02Bounce.
12:03Bounce.
12:04Bounce.
12:05Bounce.
12:06Bounce.
12:07Bounce.
12:08Bounce.
12:09Bounce.
12:10Bounce.
12:14I feel like a million bucks right now.
12:16It was straight.
12:19That's what we need.
12:21201.3.
12:23What is that total?
12:247.7.
12:27Fuck.
12:28What was Nick before?
12:29186.7.
12:323.5?
12:333.7.
12:343.7?
12:35Good job.
12:36Nice.
12:37183.
12:38KB was 165.8.
12:41162.7.
12:44Total weight loss, 26 pounds.
12:47We're finishing.
12:48KB has lost 10.4 total pounds tonight.
12:52What do we have total?
12:5326.
12:54So we need, uh...
12:554.
12:564.
12:571.3 inches.
12:58I mean, we gotta work up a sweat.
13:00Yeah.
13:01Do you think jerking off is...
13:03I'll jerk off right now.
13:04I'm gonna go shit right now.
13:05Okay.
13:07I'm gonna go shit right now.
13:14Alright, boys.
13:20Feeling zen.
13:24That was my technique.
13:27This is stupid.
13:28This was a bad idea.
13:30And I'm not...
13:31I don't like this shit.
13:37Come on, Chad.
13:39199.3.
13:41Woo-hoo-hoo!
13:42Fuck yeah!
13:43Yes!
13:44Alright.
13:45Tate, you have lost a total of 9.7 pounds.
13:49Nikki, you ended at 183, your last weigh-in.
13:53So 181 would end.
13:55Alright.
13:56181.7.
13:57You gotta lose 27.
13:58Thatta boy!
13:59Thatta boy!
14:0027!
14:01Total weight loss for Nikki and Chad.
14:04Total weight loss for Nikki was 9.2 pounds.
14:08Okay.
14:09So this is...
14:10If he's 162, we're done.
14:11Done.
14:12162.
14:13Yes!
14:15Woo-hoo!
14:16Let's go!
14:17Oh my god!
14:18One night!
14:19Sub 200 for the first time in months!
14:24WKB, WNick.
14:26WTate.
14:27WLukas, WRyan.
14:28WLukas, WRick.
14:29WViper, WRick.
14:30WColton, WLuke.
14:32Shout out to Chad.
14:33To Chad, thank you guys for staying awake.
14:35That was fucking great.
14:36Great job, boys.
14:46Let's take a walk.
14:47Alright, Valentine's Day is tomorrow.
14:49So I'm doing it today.
14:50And as the CLB, Certified Loverboy of the Office,
14:53I got some roses for the ladies of the office.
14:55We're gonna go give them out.
14:57Hello, Kat.
14:58Hi.
14:59Happy Valentine's Day.
15:01You get a rose.
15:02You get a rose.
15:03Thank you so much.
15:04You're welcome.
15:07I feel so loved.
15:08You are.
15:09Thanks.
15:10You're welcome.
15:12What'd you do to this?
15:13I feel like there's a twist.
15:16Happy Valentine's Day.
15:18Are you for real or are you being serious?
15:19Yeah, I'm serious.
15:20You get a rose.
15:21Oh, thanks.
15:22That's so nice of you.
15:23You're welcome.
15:24You see how, like, scared they are?
15:26They think I, like, laced it or something.
15:28Happy Valentine's Day.
15:29You get a rose.
15:30I'm not scared.
15:31Oh, yellow.
15:32You like yellow?
15:33Yeah.
15:34That's why I got two colors.
15:35Cool.
15:37You're welcome.
15:38That's very thoughtful.
15:39See?
15:40Nice guy smokes.
15:41They're scared to put their hand in there like I'm gonna bite him or something.
15:42I'm sure Mad Dog's gonna love this.
15:43Remember when she yelled at me because I heated up salmon?
15:45I didn't mean to make you gag.
15:48I just wanted to eat my lunch.
15:49Oh, my God.
15:50It smells like literally fried death in my fucking area.
15:53Dude, it's great.
15:55I don't give a fuck if it tastes great.
15:57It is a criminal offense to microwave salmon.
16:00I can't live here.
16:01It's, like, impossible for me to just be a man.
16:04You look like you're scheming.
16:05No, I'm not scheming.
16:07Happy Valentine's Day, Mad Dog.
16:09You get a rose.
16:10Thanks.
16:11Does Mackenzie get one, too?
16:12Yeah, everyone gets one.
16:13Mackenzie, come here.
16:14Oh, pretty.
16:15Thanks.
16:16Yeah, go ahead.
16:17Eat a rabbit.
16:18It's not gonna bite you.
16:19As I say, are you, like, doing something?
16:20Two things.
16:21Just being nice.
16:22Thanks.
16:23Oh, the yellow's so cute.
16:25You're welcome.
16:26Thanks.
16:27Valentine's Day is tomorrow.
16:28Happy Valentine's Day, Nicky.
16:29You get a rose.
16:30Oh, I love you.
16:31Do you think red or yellow?
16:32Oh, my goodness.
16:33I'll do yellow.
16:34Awesome.
16:35Thank you, sir.
16:36Of course.
16:37Have a good weekend.
16:38Steph's my favorite.
16:39Oh, what's up, Annika?
16:40I don't know.
16:41Happy Valentine's Day.
16:42You get a rose.
16:43I get a necklace.
16:45It's not just a you thing.
16:46I got them for everyone.
16:47Okay.
16:48Yeah, trust me.
16:49What's, like, why?
16:51I'm just a nice person.
16:52Oh.
16:53There you go.
16:54Do you want a kiss?
16:55No, I'm all right.
16:56Thanks, though.
16:57I have, like, ten more roses to get done.
16:58You didn't get me roses when we dated.
16:59We didn't date on Valentine's Day.
17:00And I bought you flowers every month.
17:01I replace them myself every single month.
17:02Yeah.
17:03You can be a little more grateful next time you get a new boyfriend and appreciate what
17:04he does.
17:05I'll turn my back.
17:06It's okay.
17:07I love working here.
17:08This is great.
17:09Yeah.
17:10Should I just walk in on their meeting and just give them roses?
17:11Happy Valentine's Day.
17:12You guys each get a rose.
17:13Oh, thanks.
17:14Oh, thank you.
17:15You're welcome.
17:16Frank, you get a rose.
17:17You get a necklace.
17:18You get a necklace.
17:19You get a necklace.
17:20You get a necklace.
17:21You get a necklace.
17:22You get a necklace.
17:23You get a necklace.
17:24You get a necklace.
17:25You get a necklace.
17:26You get a necklace.
17:27You get a necklace.
17:28You get a necklace.
17:29You get a necklace.
17:30You get a necklace.
17:31You get a necklace.
17:32You get a necklace.
17:33You get a necklace.
17:34You get a necklace.
17:35You get a necklace.
17:36You get a necklace.
17:37You get a necklace.
17:38You get a necklace.
17:39You get a necklace.
17:40You get a necklace.
17:41You get a necklace.
17:42You get a necklace.
17:43You get a necklace.
17:44You get a necklace.
17:45You get a necklace.
17:46You get a necklace.
17:47You get a necklace.
17:48You get a necklace.
17:49You get a necklace.
17:50You get a necklace.
17:51You get a necklace.
17:52You get a rose.
17:53Valentine's Day?
17:54Yeah.
17:55You get a red or yellow?
17:56Not a red.
17:57Yep.
17:58Alright, Kate.
17:59You're welcome.
18:00I guess it's your turn to reciprocate.
18:02Smokes!
18:03Okay.
18:04CLB.
18:05Certified Loverboy.
18:06Like, yeah, I come off cocky, arrogant, but I got a sweetheart.
18:10I do nice things for ladies.
18:12That's the name of the game.
18:14I know what you're looking for.
18:16Yo.
18:17You didn't get me a rose?
18:18No, bro.
18:19Why not?
18:20Certified Loverboy.
18:21My jacket's fire, though.
18:22This jacket is sick.
18:23I think it's clean.
18:24Daytona 500, this Sunday, February 16th, 2.30 p.m. Eastern Time on Fox.
18:29If you can't be there for yourself, make sure you tune in on TV.
18:32I'm getting ready to go catch my flight right now.
18:34See you in Daytona.
18:37Hold on.
18:40Oh, no.
18:42Yeah.
18:44Ow.
18:46Yeah.
18:49Yeah, I think the last time where it became, like, a big deal on the yak,
18:53that wasn't someone clogging the toilet.
18:55That was just plumbing issue where it spits back up whatever had already gone down.
19:00This time, yeah, it's just not flushing.
19:02It was a big dump.
19:04But those flushers are usually pretty strong.
19:07Oh, no, I took care of that.
19:09You've already taken care of it?
19:10Yeah.
19:11Oh, I was joking when I told you don't clog it.
19:14How did you take care of it, though?
19:15I just pressed the button down for, like, a while.
19:18There's a button on that toilet?
19:20Yeah, on the side.
19:21Oh, I was having to, like, sit down and sit back up just to get it to flush,
19:25like, a few times because I thought it was only motion activated.
19:28No, you just got to press the button.
19:31Really?
19:32Yeah, there's a button.
19:33Damn, earn your stripes.
19:35Fucking A.
19:37I thought I would have to get in there with a plunger or a poop knife.
19:40Have you seen those?
19:41I think they actually sell them now.
19:42Like, a poop knife is just a knife you use to break up the poop,
19:45and then it goes down easy.
19:46One time I didn't have a poop knife,
19:48and I just had to wrap my finger in a bunch of toilet paper and chop it up with my fingers.
19:53I wasn't going to do that in this office.
19:55That's uncivilized behavior.
19:57But, yeah, we should get a plunger and a brush in that toilet, 100%.
20:01I'm telling you something, you're stressing me out.
20:06And I ain't ever going to live this down.
20:10You know nothing of what it's about.