Gogglebox - Season 24 Episode 10 ,
Gogglebox S24E10
Gogglebox S24E10
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00:00Are we eating?
00:01Chris, do you want some?
00:02No, ta.
00:03Oh, yeah, go on, then. I'll have some.
00:06What are they?
00:07I don't know.
00:08Eh?
00:13Ow!
00:14Oh, you stupid, silly bastard!
00:18Don't!
00:19I'm sorry, I've got to be quick.
00:20Oh, friggin' hell!
00:26Oh!
00:27No!
00:28Here we go!
00:28They've got him!
00:29Oh!
00:30What you doing?
00:31Oh, she's a chicken nugget!
00:34Isn't it embarrassing, Merlin?
00:37Oh, kiss!
00:38Oh, that's a bit forward!
00:39This is raunchy, innit?
00:40Bring on the delves!
00:42Yeah!
00:43Who's in for the finger this week, innit?
00:45Oh!
00:46It's so bad, it's actually good.
00:48It's actually good.
00:49What just happened?
00:50Siri, call Ofcom.
00:53In the week the BBC announced Gary Lineker was quitting Match of the Day,
00:58we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:01It was make-or-break for the married-at-first-sight lovebirds.
01:04You are everything I ask for.
01:08You're the perfect girl to me and I love you.
01:13No!
01:15Matt asked me what I wanted for Christmas the other day
01:17and I said, I want an engagement ring.
01:19He went, they've all sold out of those.
01:21I said, oh, well, I'll have some raised planters for the garden then.
01:26American voters made an interesting choice on ITV News.
01:30He has spent the time since then on the phone with world leaders
01:33and planning his transition.
01:35Come, Susie, come here.
01:37It says Trump will fix it.
01:38We had somebody who said they'd fix it as well.
01:40What, Bob the Builder?
01:41Pfft!
01:45Yeah, it was Bob the Builder.
01:46You're well-renowned for being politics.
01:49I must confess, that shows our generational difference.
01:51I was going, Jim will fix it.
01:53Jim will fix it.
01:55Who's Jim?
01:58OK.
02:00And Disney's steamy bunkbuster had us hot under the collar again.
02:13You see, he's giving off a lot of magnetic force, Giles.
02:18He's wearing Old Spice, Mary.
02:21No, he is not.
02:23I bet you he's wearing Old Spice.
02:25He's too upmarket for that.
02:27Eau de Cologne?
02:29Probably nothing, he's just giving off man juices.
02:32Ooh!
02:40In Leeds...
02:41You want to know why I went to Huddersfield Uni?
02:43Do you know this story, actually?
02:44No, we went to the same uni and I absolutely do not know.
02:47Best friends, Danielle and Daniella.
02:50So, I went to Huddersfield Uni because Patrick Stewart
02:54was, like, the chairperson.
02:55He was the Chancellor, me too.
02:57And I was a Star Trek fan and I was like,
02:59I'm going to meet him at my graduation.
03:02I didn't meet him at my graduation.
03:03I did!
03:04You met him!
03:05I had him at my graduation!
03:06Oh, he wasn't at mine!
03:07And he's the reason why I went to Huddersfield Uni,
03:09not because I was a Trekkie, just because I love Patrick Stewart.
03:11Oh!
03:12But he was at mine.
03:13You men!
03:14Oh, no!
03:15And there was a Facebook group that was called,
03:17when I graduate, I'm going to lick Patrick Stewart's head,
03:19so my tutor thought I'd set it up.
03:24On Tuesday, it was all about the numbers and letters again.
03:28Do you know this was the first ever show on Channel 4?
03:30First show that was broadcast on its first day.
03:32Was it?
03:33Yeah, I sat there, like a ten-year-old going, ooh, new channel.
03:36You've got to have a special mind for this.
03:38Yeah.
03:39And, sadly...
03:40We haven't got it, have we?
03:45It's like a clock ticking, isn't it?
03:47Well, that's what it is, isn't it? It's countdown.
03:49Yeah.
03:50Oh, I didn't think of that.
03:53Right, here we go.
03:54Jenny hasn't even started yet.
03:55I'm getting ready.
03:56And we welcome back a second time in the company of Logan Skelton.
04:01Go on, Logan.
04:02Second time in the chair.
04:03Oh, yeah, cos this is what happens, isn't it?
04:05If you're really good, you just stay on.
04:06Correct. Mmm.
04:08Afternoon again, Rachel.
04:09Afternoon, Logan.
04:10Let's start with a consonant, please.
04:11Thank you. Start today with L.
04:13L.
04:14Another consonant.
04:15I've got to think of a word. Is that right, Mary?
04:17Yeah, you can only use each letter once.
04:19And a third.
04:21R.
04:22Get an S.
04:23And a fourth.
04:25S.
04:26Boom! Sorted.
04:27Now hit your vowels.
04:28Your vowel.
04:29I.
04:30Aye, sir.
04:31And a third.
04:34U.
04:35Have you got anything so far?
04:36Uh...
04:37And a final.
04:38N.
04:39Clear, please.
04:40Here we go.
04:41Come up with a four at least, Jane.
04:43Sure.
04:44You sure there?
04:45Yep.
04:46Oh, yeah, OK.
04:47I thought you were just telling me you would.
04:52Litres.
04:53Listen.
04:54L-I-S-T-E-R.
04:56Listen.
04:57Ooh, sure, good shout.
04:58Listen.
05:02Urine.
05:03Urine.
05:04U-R-I-N-E.
05:06I think I've got a seven.
05:07Well, what have you got, George?
05:08Life.
05:09Life.
05:11What have you got, George?
05:12Lighters.
05:13Lighters.
05:14Lighters.
05:15Oh, that's...
05:16I tell you what for lighters.
05:17That is so you.
05:18That is, yeah, I've seen it.
05:19He's always lightering.
05:20I've told him off for it.
05:21Logan.
05:22I think I'll try a nine.
05:23Ooh, a nine.
05:24Nine.
05:25Nine.
05:26Nine.
05:27Oh, it's a clever dick, that one.
05:28That's all of them.
05:29Steve.
05:30Seven.
05:31Can we have the pathetic seven, please?
05:32Lustier.
05:33Oh!
05:34Lustier.
05:35Doesn't it tell you a lot about people, eh?
05:37He's a lighter and he's lustier.
05:38And he's lustier.
05:39Logan.
05:40Logan.
05:41Outliners.
05:42Outliners?
05:43What?
05:44Outliners.
05:45We missed that trick.
05:46Outliners.
05:47We use them every single day.
05:48Outlines in Excel.
05:49When I outline my table.
05:50Any data, babe.
05:51Any data.
05:52Jesus Christ.
05:53You know what?
05:54Are those outliners?
05:55Can I have a constant, please?
05:56Thank you, Logan.
05:57S.
05:58Ooh!
05:59And a vowel.
06:00A.
06:01Steve.
06:02It's Steve, isn't it?
06:03That's a nice name.
06:04And a consonant.
06:05P.
06:06Step.
06:07Pie.
06:08Pies.
06:09And another consonant.
06:10D.
06:11Stupid!
06:12Stupid!
06:13There's no U.
06:14There's no U.
06:15Why are you getting excited?
06:16Because I'm stupid.
06:17And another consonant.
06:18N.
06:19Penis.
06:20And a final R.
06:21And here we go.
06:22Oh, there's nothing leaping out at me, is there?
06:23Could do seven.
06:24Pointed.
06:25Oh, are you good?
06:26Ponder.
06:27Where's that?
06:28Ponder.
06:29What's that?
06:30Ooh!
06:31Oh!
06:32Oh!
06:33Oh!
06:34Oh!
06:35Oh!
06:36Oh!
06:37Oh!
06:38What's that?
06:39Ooh, well done, that's a six!
06:40Six.
06:41Ponders!
06:42Seven!
06:43STEPHEN HARVEY SHOCKED
06:44WELL DONE MARISHA
06:45Styped.
06:46Stryped!
06:47Pointer.
06:48S-T-R-I-P-E-D
06:49Seven!
06:50P-O-I-N-T-E-R-S
06:51Eight!
06:52Pointers!
06:53Daniela!
07:00Right, you've got eight, I've got seven.
07:02I mean, I could have done better.
07:04And that's time.
07:05How many...
07:06Logan?
07:07Not sure it would be good enough.
07:08Eight. Eight. She got bloody eight.
07:10SHE SIGHS
07:11Not good enough. She's got more than me.
07:14What's yours, Logan?
07:16Porniest. Yes.
07:18Porniest? Porniest? Oh, you dirty bastard.
07:21Why didn't I think of that? Porniest? What does that mean?
07:24It's the most pornographic. Porn? I said porn.
07:27Yeah, you did. And that is actually specified in the dictionary.
07:29I didn't think it would be, but that's a very good eight.
07:31It's there. Well done. Yeah.
07:33What the...? Listen. Porniest, porniest.
07:36It's porny for us, it's porn.
07:38Oh. Porniest.
07:40SHE LAUGHS
07:41Never thought I'd see porn on Countdown.
07:44So you might say, do you want to watch Deep Throat?
07:48And the other person would say, no, the porniest film is...
07:53And then name the film.
07:55Well, you wouldn't know, cos you've never looked at pornography.
07:58No.
08:01In Derby...
08:02Rose, you're looking a bit tired. Are you all right?
08:04I'm bossy. I've been training a bit more than I normally do.
08:07I've got my black belt grading coming up in a few days.
08:10Oh, wow. This is third dan.
08:12The Siddiqis.
08:14Rose, you are the strongest Siddiqi now, aren't you?
08:16Yeah. I don't really like talking about that kind of stuff.
08:19But you are the strongest Siddiqi, aren't you?
08:21I don't know if I'm the strongest, but I could...
08:25..do some damage.
08:26Never be ashamed of being the most ist Siddiqi.
08:29Definitely not.
08:31Like, I'm the funniest Siddiqi.
08:33You're the strongest Siddiqi.
08:35Dad's the prettiest. Prettiest Siddiqi, yeah.
08:39On Tuesday night, tensions were high as E4's newlyweds
08:43were reaching the end of the experiment.
08:45Final week, this pedders.
08:47Is it? Yeah. Final vows.
08:50Vow renewals this week, Jenny, on maths.
08:52Is it? Have you thought about doing it?
08:55Well, yeah, I have, actually.
08:56Have you? Yeah. Do I need to buy you that?
08:58No, cos you won't come in.
09:00Jimmy actually saw a picture of me and Paige on our wedding day
09:04in our bedroom this morning, and he went,
09:07oh, Mummy and Daddy, Mummy dressed like a princess.
09:10Aw!
09:12Least it didn't say, oh, beauty and the beast.
09:14Beauty and the beast.
09:16Oh, not nice calling Paige a beast.
09:23Amy, looks, vow renewal, here we go.
09:25I'm torn between two decisions today.
09:27Clearly. Well, it's either yes or no.
09:29It can only be two.
09:31If I decide to renew my vows...
09:34..I'll wear the white dress.
09:38If I decide to leave our relationship in the past,
09:41I'll wear the black dress.
09:42Well, that's a bit deep.
09:44That's giving it, like, real funeral vibes.
09:46Isn't it? It's the end.
09:48You see, I'd wear the black dress anyway because it's slimming.
09:51I'm not banging in a black dress.
09:53I know me and Amy have had some really hard times.
09:57But the positives will always outweigh the negatives for me.
10:00Oh, he's gorgeous.
10:02He's all right till he opens his mouth.
10:04Exactly, that's it, till he opens his gob.
10:06Back and see my beautiful wife coming.
10:09She looks gorgeous.
10:11Is she coming to a funeral or a wedding?
10:12Let's see the dress!
10:14Oh! What colour, what colour, what colour, what colour?
10:19Oh! Oh, no!
10:21Amy!
10:22Oh, not the funeral, they.
10:24Stunning.
10:25Luke's got no idea.
10:26No, he just thinks she looks pretty in black.
10:28He's going to have his heart crushed.
10:29This experiment has been testing, to say the least.
10:32With all our highs, there have been many lows.
10:35I feel responsible for causing many of these lows with my white lies.
10:40Oh, he's taking a bit of responsibility for that, isn't he?
10:43He's not as dumb as that's happened.
10:45White lies, that's what you call them.
10:46Yeah, white lies leads to big fat lies.
10:49I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie.
10:52White lies leads to big fat lies.
10:54But the ice started to melt.
10:57Ah, well, it's freezing back up again, Luke,
10:59I'm sorry to tell you, mate.
11:00Amy, I want to stay together.
11:04Our future starts now.
11:06No, it doesn't, son!
11:09She looks nervous.
11:11Oh, I can't even watch, I can't watch.
11:13Can you watch it and just tell me what happens?
11:15I actually can't watch.
11:16His heart is going to be crushed if she doesn't want to stay.
11:18I'm doing this experiment in hope of finding my forever person.
11:21Oh, no, listen to her tone.
11:23We've had so many laughs along the way.
11:25I want to thank you for coming into my life
11:27and for helping me grow as a person.
11:29You've taught me a lot about myself.
11:31There's a but coming.
11:32This is a dumping speech, isn't it, if I ever heard one.
11:35However...
11:36Oh!
11:38So it wasn't a but, it's now ever.
11:40She's well educated.
11:42But the continuous lies and dishonesty
11:44has stopped our marriage from moving forward.
11:47Oh!
11:49You cannot build a relationship if there is no trust.
11:52You cannot.
11:53This marriage is done.
11:55Oh, gosh!
11:56Dead.
11:57Ouch!
11:58Deceased.
11:59Oh!
12:01You aren't worthy of me.
12:02Shit!
12:03Ck, ck, ck.
12:06You are the worst.
12:07You're the epitome of the human race.
12:09You puddle-drinking Neanderthal.
12:12That is basically what she just said.
12:14A little bit of you's got to feel sorry for him.
12:17I do a little bit, but it's his own fault.
12:19Let's hope he's learned a big lesson from this.
12:22A bit later, and it was time for the experts
12:24to catch up with the couples.
12:26So after the final vows, what has happened since then?
12:32You sent me, like, a birthday gift, didn't you?
12:35With a letter in it.
12:36Oh!
12:38Juicy gossip here.
12:39Was it a letter from the heart, Luke?
12:42The letter went quite into depth about how much he missed me,
12:45and he's always thinking about me.
12:47That's very nice.
12:49Is it a bit much, though?
12:50And a nice, rude comment at the end of it.
12:53Oh, really?
12:54What was the rude comment?
12:55Tell us.
12:56Come on.
12:56What was it?
12:57Huh?
12:58About the mould again?
12:59Imagine.
13:00It said, no regrets, actually just one.
13:04Oh, I'm nervous.
13:05Tell us what it said.
13:07I wish I'd have got down on my knees
13:08when you were cooking in the kitchen.
13:10What?
13:10And done what?
13:11What's that mean?
13:12And terrorised your bumhole.
13:14LAUGHTER
13:15HE SNORTS
13:17And what?
13:18You're joking.
13:20Nobody wants the bumhole terrorised.
13:22No one does.
13:23Nobody does.
13:25I do remember us having this conversation about flirting.
13:28Flirting?
13:30Terrorising your bumhole, flirting.
13:33I suppose I'm curious what your thoughts were
13:36around terrorising the bumhole.
13:38HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
13:41HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
13:44People need to stop saying terrorising bumholes.
13:47It sounds like this is something that maybe took place
13:50privately between the two of you.
13:51No, it didn't.
13:52LAUGHTER
13:53He's been nowhere near my bumhole.
13:56He's never done anything like that to me.
13:59Not to your bumhole.
14:00Ah, not to your bumhole.
14:02LAUGHTER
14:04Just shut up.
14:05I do wish to find someone that accepts me for who I am
14:08with my quirkiness and everything that I embody, I guess.
14:13And my letter writing as well, that's very important.
14:15Just cos you're good-looking doesn't mean you can go around saying...
14:18Terrorising bumholes.
14:19Terrorising bumholes.
14:21I can't remember the last time I heard the word bumhole on TV,
14:25but, you know, it's like a bus, isn't it?
14:27You wait for one for ages.
14:29Now they all come at once.
14:30LAUGHTER
14:39In Wiltshire...
14:40You've still got your own hips, haven't you, Mary?
14:42Yes, and knees.
14:44I'm afraid that jogging isn't that good for you
14:47because people that jogged a lot have got fake hips and knees now.
14:52Have they? Yes.
14:53Giles and his wife, Mary.
14:55You said that you got banana-bosom, Mary.
14:58I didn't.
14:59I said a woman risked banana-bosom.
15:02Banana-bosom?
15:03Yes, through running.
15:05What is banana-bosom?
15:07You know perfectly well what it is, Giles.
15:09Tell me again.
15:10It's when the poitrine...
15:13The what?
15:14When your chest does not remain taut.
15:17You know that.
15:19And that's why, when I went to that trainer years ago,
15:21he said, never run on a running machine.
15:25It's very bad for your bosom.
15:28Walk uphill fast instead.
15:31On Saturday night, there was more ballroom bopping on BBC One.
15:36Come on, Steve, get the wine.
15:38OK. Oh, strictly worthy.
15:39Oh, yeah, you are.
15:41Snake hips.
15:42Oh, my God, I've never seen you move so fast!
15:45CHEERING
15:50HE HUMS
15:54Oi! Fucking hell!
15:55HE LAUGHS
15:57Everyone left home for my birthday.
16:03It was strictly on a Saturday night.
16:05It's like driving to a petrol station for us, isn't it?
16:09A little bit of cheer in us.
16:11Is that what you drive to the petrol station for?
16:13No, it's the bright lights, Mary.
16:15CHEERING
16:16Dancing their couple's choice,
16:19Chris McCausland and Diane Buswell.
16:21That Chris has done well, you know.
16:23I can't believe how well he's done, Lee.
16:25And I think they forget, you know, he's blind.
16:27I don't think people, our Miss Holden even, know he was blind.
16:31He's got no boundaries, have you? He just, like, you know, he goes for it.
16:43I tell you what, Chris's timing's absolutely perfect, innit?
16:46He's got a bit of rhythm to him, innit?
16:48Some people can just dance, though, innit? Yeah.
16:50I'm not one of them.
16:54Good jazz hands, Lee.
16:56He's got a bit of rhythm to him, isn't he?
16:59Good jazz hand, Chris.
17:01You can't beat a jazz hand.
17:03I mean, he's a bit galamphing, but he's quite good.
17:06He's enjoying himself. Yeah.
17:11Wow.
17:13He's throwing her around like she's a rag doll.
17:15Yeah. Reverse clock there.
17:17Call that one the reverse count there.
17:19I thought you were going to say reverse cowgirl.
17:21Reverse cowgirl.
17:23Oh, we've done a blackout.
17:25He covered her eyes, there, look, love.
17:27Ah, great. And it's all in darkness.
17:32This is Chris's world, innit? Yeah.
17:33Oh, Lee, she's...
17:36She's seeing... Oh, yeah.
17:38She's seeing what he sees.
17:45Oh, my God!
17:47Look at that!
17:49Jesus. He's done a bit of an helicopter, then, isn't he?
17:52Christ, he's amazing.
17:53And on the plus side, Craig can have no complaints
17:56with all the dance they did in the dark.
17:58Yeah. Absolutely no complaints.
18:04That was brilliant, that was, wasn't it?
18:06Fantastic. That was bloody fantastic.
18:08You smashed it again. Yeah, I've loved it.
18:10It's showing you, with a disability, you can do well.
18:13Yeah. So, now we are bad back, you can get the football back.
18:17In Manchester...
18:19You know how we met up on Saturday, me and my knit group?
18:22Oh, yeah, the knit group, yeah. Yeah.
18:24We only got chucked out of the cafe.
18:26What did you do?
18:28Nothing, we just sat knitting, having a coffee.
18:31Alison, her husband George and her daughter Helena.
18:35Were you, like, 20 of your finest tapwaters, please?
18:39Was it even tapwaters?
18:41Yeah.
18:43Was it even tapwaters?
18:45I had a latte, and Jane had a something.
18:49How long did you have that latte for, about five hours?
18:52Might be.
18:54Can't do that.
18:56I couldn't eat anything because I'd forgotten my chewing tooth.
18:59Right?
19:01Jane had...
19:03Jane had done a community breakfast, so she was full.
19:06So, that was, like, that was three drinks and one wrap.
19:12And you know what I think Swunget,
19:14I think he's got something against knitters.
19:16This week, we took a step back in time
19:19for another romp around the 80s on Disney+.
19:22Rivals, we're the smoke pedders.
19:24It's my weekly dose of smokeless, I like it.
19:26Are you being watching this?
19:28No, no, that don't bother me, sex.
19:30It's all about sex, innit?
19:32Is it about sex?
19:34No, I'm not interested.
19:37Oh, hang on, where are we?
19:39Oh, Blackpool, man, we're kidding.
19:45Spain?
19:47We just got back last night.
19:53Oh, this is Cameron.
19:55She's a hotshot producer that works for Tony,
19:58which is also Tony's bit on the side.
20:00KNOCK AT DOOR
20:02She's expecting someone.
20:04Signorita Cook.
20:06Oh, flowers. Not what she was expecting.
20:08Horses.
20:09Hello? It's me.
20:11Lord Baddingham sends his apologies, but he won't be joining you.
20:14What?! I'm so sorry, Cameron.
20:16Good luck tomorrow.
20:18Goodbye.
20:20He doesn't look bothered, does he?
20:22He can't even do his own dirty work
20:24and ring her and let her know himself.
20:28Oh!
20:31Oh!
20:32She won't be bought with a bunch of flowers, will she?
20:34I'd have been.
20:35Careful, you'll scare the pigeons.
20:39Look who it is right on cue.
20:41It's Rupert!
20:43Now, Tony, surprised the oily baron
20:45missed the opportunity for a few days of fun in the sun.
20:48So he knows that...
20:49Yeah, she's knocking him off, knocking off on Lord Baddingham.
20:52Why is he always one step ahead?
20:54You should join me for dinner.
20:56Excuse me.
20:57You can see what's going to happen here.
20:59So he's trying to move to her, then, isn't he?
21:01Isn't he always?
21:03He's trying to move to every woman.
21:05Imagine how furious Tony would be
21:07if he knew you were actually having a good time.
21:11He's read her like a book.
21:14She's going to be straight there.
21:16That'll piss Tony right off.
21:20Do you know what it reminds me of, Lee?
21:22Just a load of swingers.
21:24It does, honest.
21:25They're all bed-hopping with everybody else.
21:27I think that's what people used to do in the 80s.
21:29Really? Where was I?
21:36Where's Tony's appeal?
21:37He was in Doctor Who.
21:40I can see why he finds you irresistible.
21:43Oh, he's a smooth talker, isn't he?
21:46I know what you're doing.
21:48And you're wasting your time.
21:50I don't think he is.
21:52Rupert has got a plan,
21:54and it's not only just to get Cameron in bed.
22:02We know what's going to happen, Pedro.
22:04Do we, though? I think she's going to say no.
22:06I suppose this is good night.
22:08Yes, it is, you big perv.
22:09Have you got any of them Tassimo pods left in your room?
22:12I've run out of little milks in my room.
22:14Can I come in for a breath?
22:18It's happening!
22:22Well, they're going to have some fun.
22:24I think we're going to have some fun watching.
22:26I'd rather not with you.
22:29Get them perky boobies, I was going to say.
22:32Do you think they had body doubles and cling film and all of that?
22:35No, no.
22:40Ooh, look at that bum.
22:42You would have a good squeeze, wouldn't you?
22:44I'm sick of seeing his arse.
22:46I'm not.
22:49That's not realistic.
22:51It's not realistic. You'd be like, oh, stop jiggling me.
22:54I've had a load of Posassus Bravas.
22:57Wish you could come tonight.
22:59I'm not sure I fancy pretending to be Lord Baddingham for the evening.
23:03She's getting ready for the awards, isn't she?
23:13Ta-da!
23:14Arrivederci.
23:19He's off, he's off.
23:20Oh, what's he up to?
23:25What's he doing? Oh, going through all her stuff.
23:27Yep.
23:28He's looking for something in her room, isn't he?
23:30Yeah.
23:34Right, so this is striking me as a Tony file, isn't it?
23:37She meant nothing at all to him.
23:39Well, no, it's all...
23:41Yeah, it's just sex, isn't it?
23:43Well, it's not sex, he just wants to get back at his main rival, doesn't he?
23:46Hello. I've got something kind of emergency on my hands
23:49and I need these very important documents copied quickly.
23:52Can you do that?
23:53Photocopies, they worked, didn't they, Mary?
23:55Mm.
23:56Cos all through the 80s, people used to sit on top of the Xerox machines
24:00and send pictures of their bottoms.
24:02Yeah.
24:05Oh, she's back!
24:08Shit, he'll have to run like hell now, won't he?
24:11God, no, I couldn't be arsed with those stairs, I'd give up.
24:14I'd have to admit that I'd stolen some documents.
24:20Oh, for heaven's sake.
24:21He's not going to beat the lift.
24:23Have you ever been stuck in a lift?
24:25No. No.
24:26Have you? No.
24:29I used to want to be stuck in a lift
24:32when I was a child with Cliff Richard.
24:35Oh, sweet.
24:36Cos I imagined that would be the only way I'd get his attention.
24:40Oh, you reckon Rupert's done it?
24:45This prick!
24:47How in the fucking hell did he get away with that?
24:53I fucking did it.
24:55So did I.
24:57Is this what people did in the 80s,
25:00before smartphones, before the Tinternet?
25:02100%, right, take me back.
25:04Has he got wandering hands as well?
25:06100%, right, take me back.
25:08Has he got wandering hand disease, Mary?
25:10Well, he just...
25:12He basically just throbs with such virility
25:16that he just has to stand next to a woman
25:20and she finds herself kind of collapsing into...
25:23Yielding. Yeah.
25:33In Leeds...
25:34Aunty Margaret's gone on holiday yesterday.
25:36I know. Do you know how I knew? Cos I saw it on Facebook.
25:39Seen Uncle Barry put pictures on Facebook.
25:41Sisters Ellie and Dizzy.
25:43Our Louise was telling me this morning
25:46that Janet and Neil have gone to Lanzarote as well
25:49and they've gone to the same place that Aunty Margaret's gone,
25:52so Mag and Baz are going to meet up with them.
25:54Well, you know that they've gone for Andy's birthday.
25:56Andy and his partner are only staying at the same hotel as Mag and Baz.
26:00Oh, have they? And guess what? Who else has gone?
26:02Our Paul. Uncle Paul. I know, he's gone for three weeks.
26:05Yeah, and he's basically got in on their all-inclusive.
26:11He's staying elsewhere, but he's been going to their hotel every day.
26:14The hotel just think he's a guest now
26:16and he's been going up to the bar and getting drinks.
26:21This week, Aussie love lives were shaping up again on E4.
26:25We'll have a bit of this, don't we? You do.
26:27I've got enough having just me and Ray.
26:30I couldn't be doing with another one. What?
26:32In a love triangle, could you?
26:34I was just thinking the way you're dressed,
26:36I thought you was going in a love triangle, Jenny.
26:38You don't know it's November and not July.
26:44This is when it gets juicy.
26:46When the third wheel shows up. Yeah.
26:50In the programme, couple and roomies,
26:52Sam and Emily, got an unexpected knock on their door.
26:56Ooh. Hello. Hey.
26:58Sam. Come on.
27:00It is Sam. How you going? Sophie.
27:02Sophie, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
27:04She's the final piece of the triangle, Ellie. Sophie!
27:08Are you serious? How you going?
27:10I'm a bit sweaty. Can you put it in, please?
27:12Yeah, I'll bring your... Get my bag.
27:14Get your bag in. Thank you.
27:16This is awkward for him. This is awkward.
27:18He's looking at Emily to see, can I bring him in?
27:20I know, where's Emily?
27:22Sam's just, like, rabbit in the headlights at the moment.
27:25Well, what do you do?
27:27How old are you? I'm 36 and you're 26.
27:29You look really good for 36.
27:31Ooh. What?!
27:33For 36. Ooh.
27:35It's a pause for me.
27:37You look really good for 36.
27:39Yeah. I'll leave you guys to it for two minutes.
27:41OK.
27:43I'll leave you guys to it for two minutes.
27:45I'm going to go and hide in the garden.
27:47I mean, that's great, someone with a back belt.
27:49Sam, go and jump over the back fence.
27:51Get yourself out of there now.
27:53We haven't had any issues and I adore Sam.
27:55We've got a really good relationship.
27:57I think we're probably the strongest couple.
27:59We've had a kiss and whatnot like that.
28:01Ooh!
28:03Back-off girlfriend, basically, yeah.
28:05Emily should just turn around and say,
28:07you know, we are in love.
28:09Yeah, he said he loves me. Yeah.
28:11I mean, Emily really wants to be saying to this Sophie,
28:13you know, I'm pregnant.
28:15And it is Sam's.
28:17Oh, my God.
28:19What's this now?
28:21He's got a message from who? Who's messaging him?
28:25What?
28:27Give me a hand. Give me a hand? Why?
28:29Emily must now pack her bags
28:31and move into an alternative accommodation.
28:33That's new.
28:35I thought they all lived together.
28:37Yeah.
28:39That was the twist, then.
28:41So she's getting kicked out? Yeah.
28:43And Sophie's moving in. That's horrible.
28:45I really just feel like throwing the towel in,
28:47to be honest. I really do.
28:49It's just unfair on me.
28:51Oh, she's spitting her dummy out, like...
28:53Well, wouldn't you? Yeah.
28:55After cameras stop rolling
28:57on Sam and Sophie's third night
28:59in the house together,
29:01Sam makes a phone call. What's going on?
29:03Who is Sam on the phone to?
29:05Hello, my baby. Hello, my baby.
29:07Do you think Sam's ringing Emily?
29:09I do, yeah.
29:11In the 72 hours since she left the house,
29:13Emily and Sam have stayed in touch
29:15over the phone.
29:17Oh, Sam! So it's obviously
29:19quite serious between him and Emily.
29:21Must be.
29:23The only trouble is,
29:25the woman on the other end of this phone call...
29:27It's not Emily.
29:29...is not Emily.
29:31Oh!
29:33What is he playing at, you?
29:35Well, he's got someone else, Samney.
29:37Who is he playing?
29:39So cute.
29:41Hello. I miss you.
29:43Hannah! Oh, the fox!
29:45Hannah!
29:47This is a square.
29:49This is not a triangle.
29:53Who's Hannah?
29:57Who's Hannah?
29:59He's been rumbled.
30:01I do want to know who Hannah is though,
30:03don't you? So do I.
30:05Bloody hell.
30:07Hannah is no one but a
30:09friend in Broome that is looking after my cat.
30:11What?
30:13What?
30:15Looking after his cat?
30:17Well, he's a born liar, isn't he?
30:19I bet he haven't even got a cat.
30:21Well, we've got
30:23a recording.
30:25You clearly forgot that you're still mic'd up.
30:27Oh,
30:29no! He must know
30:31that there's mics everywhere.
30:33You in bed?
30:35Do you sleep in the nude, baby girl?
30:37Do you sleep in the nude?
30:39Do you sleep in the nude,
30:41baby girl?
30:43Have you said that to Hannah?
30:45Ah, look at him!
30:47I can literally hear his arse dropping.
30:49Yeah.
30:51You made a call to your sister?
30:53Is he shagging his sister?
30:55No!
30:57Roll tapes.
30:59I love Hannah.
31:01I love Hannah!
31:03That's the beautiful thing, I'm playing double agent.
31:05Oh, I think it's his bastard James Bond.
31:07This guy's an idiot. He doesn't know how microphones work.
31:09Yeah.
31:11He doesn't know how this show works.
31:13You seem to be more than just a crowd.
31:15Oh!
31:17Turtle neck
31:19must be a bit tight.
31:21You can't get any more than that.
31:2321 hours ago, what happened?
31:25Hello, Hannah.
31:27I want to get a bit hot.
31:29No!
31:31Ollie, he wants phone sex.
31:33Oh, no.
31:35They've got a full catalogue of evidence here.
31:37Oh, my God.
31:39Zero more to it.
31:41Oh, wow.
31:43You're literally backing yourself into a corner.
31:45They're asking you questions. They've got stuff on you.
31:47You're banged, all right.
31:49You caught him for a key.
31:51I'm done. Go and do your thing with post-production.
31:53Play your phone call with Hannah.
31:55You'll hear me asking about the cat.
31:57Go and get me.
31:59Well, we have hook, line and sinker, mate.
32:01They got him square and fair.
32:03That was absolutely fucking amazing TV, right?
32:05Mate, that was epic.
32:07Talk about a blindside.
32:09I love it when they get caught out.
32:11I love it.
32:13I love it when they get called on their bullshit.
32:15Love it.
32:19In Glasgow...
32:21Your nails look lovely.
32:23Do you like them? Green metallics.
32:25...Rosheen and her boyfriend, Joe.
32:27I like the combination of the green nails
32:29and the orange hands. That's a really nice
32:31colour contrast.
32:33That's so...
32:35They just look orange next to yours because you're so pale.
32:37That's what it is.
32:39They look like Scooby-Doo's hands or something.
32:41You look like you've got leather gloves on.
32:43Hang on.
32:45Where's your hand went?
32:47On Sunday night, BBC One's favourite road show
32:49was back pricing up people's
32:51prized possessions.
32:53I always like to think that Antiques Roadshow
32:55is a very classy cash converters.
32:57It is.
32:59Antiques Roadshow come to Ullow, didn't they?
33:01Bert and Constable Hall.
33:03Oh, yeah, sorry, not Ull, Bert and Constable Hall.
33:05Remember that? Imagine people from Ull
33:07taking the fucking shite.
33:09Hey, you'd be surprised what shite
33:11we've got in Ull.
33:17It's any old crap
33:19and they hope that it's really, really
33:21valuable. I really like that, you know them porn shows
33:23with what's it called? What? What?
33:25You like porn shows? Oh, shit, no.
33:27No, you know like when it's like...
33:29Don't always say what you're thinking.
33:31What is it?
33:33I've always been perplexed by wondering
33:35what it is. Oh, what on earth is that?
33:37Well, I wouldn't exactly say it was an antique treasure,
33:39do you? It's a doorstop.
33:41It's been a doorstop the last 12 months.
33:43Oh, that's what I said it was.
33:45Well, you couldn't do much more with it, could you?
33:47No. I picked her up in a
33:49car boot sale. Car boot, nice.
33:51I tell you what, you are banned from taking
33:53my child to car boots.
33:55Bobby loves car boots. Yeah, I know he does.
33:57He gets all sorts of shite and then brings it back home.
33:59What? On Anglesey, about three years ago.
34:01That's fascinating.
34:03It's not, it's shit.
34:05Paid 50 quid for it. 50 quid for a doorstop?
34:07He's been robbed.
34:09I'd want a full shop for that
34:11and a car boot. I'd want his whole table
34:13and his car. Who's taking
34:1550 quid to a car boot?
34:17You know, you're the richest man on the
34:19car boot if you've got a 20.
34:21Interested to see where it came from.
34:23Somebody mentioned it could be African.
34:25It's odd, isn't it? Looks like a mistake.
34:27It's on a pine plinth, you know.
34:29If it were worth any money, it wouldn't be on a pine plinth.
34:31Exactly. The sculptor
34:33Ben Nwangu. Oi, Igbo!
34:35Igbo, I've heard of that before.
34:37I think it's Nigerian. One of Nigeria's
34:39most celebrated
34:41sculptors. Oh!
34:43One of Nigeria's most
34:45celebrated sculptors!
34:47Ooh, so it could be good. It could be good, couldn't it?
34:49It could be 100 quid. He was like the first
34:51pioneer in mixing Nigerian
34:53art with Western art.
34:55Oh, I feel bad for slagging it off now.
34:57It's one of our own. Oh, so it's a well-known
34:59sculptor. He was picked up by
35:01a gallery in the 40s
35:03and it was a gallery called
35:05the Zwemer Gallery. He knows he's sat on a
35:07goldmine, the greed he gets.
35:09That's why he's worn that hat.
35:11It's funny you should say that name because
35:13that name's underneath.
35:15Having that name underneath the very
35:17faintly Zwemer Gallery.
35:19So we know it's legit.
35:21£5,000. No.
35:23No, it's not. He bought it for £50 at a car boot.
35:25I reckon it'll be worth about
35:27£2,000.
35:29I was going to say £2,000.
35:31It is really the key to this being
35:33absolutely genuine.
35:35Actually, black art doesn't get the
35:37recognition that it deserves, so let's go
35:39with £650.
35:41So you're coming down just because the artist is black?
35:43Yes. It's controversial, Daniel.
35:45It's controversial, but I didn't make the rules.
35:47That's just what happens. Wow. How many times do we
35:49see it happening? As an auction estimate,
35:51I'd say it's worth
35:53conservatively
35:55£10,000 to £15,000.
35:57What?!
35:59£15,000. And you're saying
36:01he was wrong. £50.
36:03£50. I thought he was going to say
36:05£10,000 to £15,000.
36:07LAUGHTER
36:09He can't believe
36:11what he's just heard, this guy.
36:13He's been using £15,000 to
36:15hold his door open. The flash bastard.
36:17Imagine if you're the bloke watching it that sold it to him.
36:19Can you say that again, please?
36:21£10,000 to £15,000.
36:23You're joking. Well, is it £10,000 or is it £15,000?
36:25Yeah. Are you fucking mad?
36:27It's nearly another 50% on top.
36:29Don't be tickling me balls here.
36:31Is it more likely £15,000 than £10,000?
36:33In an ideal world, I'd love
36:35to keep it. Is he going to sell it?
36:37Wouldn't you? I thought it might be worth
36:39£100. I'd pay £50, so
36:41I thought if I could double my money, I'd be laughing.
36:45Well, I never. So there's still
36:47a tat to be had at car boots there, Jenny.
36:49I've got a doorstop. It ain't going to be worth
36:51£15,000. Yours is a half-chewed
36:53flamingo, I don't think it is.
36:55If you were the guy that had flogged
36:57that for £50 at the car boot,
36:59I'm sure you would
37:01hunt this man down. I wouldn't.
37:03Do you know what I'd do? I'd ring the police, say it'd been stolen.
37:05LAUGHTER
37:13In Blackpool...
37:15Guess what Paige has got me for my birthday?
37:17What? Well, you know I've got my three-wheel
37:19van, haven't I? Yeah. But I haven't got a CD
37:21player in it. A tape deck.
37:23Pete and his little sister Sophie.
37:25I've got my Rod Stewart tape.
37:27Oh, yeah? Do you think I'm sexy?
37:29Paige thought that it'd be ironic.
37:31I can't wait to see you
37:33driving around in the three-wheel van
37:35listening to Baby Jane.
37:39Window down.
37:41The thing is,
37:43you're not going to be able to hear your tape
37:45to the sound of the engine.
37:47I'll just crank it up high.
37:49And then I've got a bit of the carpenters, you know,
37:51if I'm having a shit day.
37:53On Thursday night, there were more
37:55medical emergencies happening in the
37:57big smoke on BBC One.
37:59You love ambulance, don't you?
38:01I watch it regularly. You've got it on permanent
38:03record, haven't you? I know.
38:05You're a brave man eating. You're a brave man.
38:07We're about to see something
38:09that's going to put you off your food. Yeah.
38:11Someone's foot coming out their mouth or something.
38:13Yeah.
38:17Have you ever had to be in an ambulance?
38:19That's a stupid question. Of course you have.
38:21Do you know the last ambulance I went in?
38:23No. It was real.
38:25Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
38:27It was like a bloody pantomime when you
38:29went in with me. I wish I'd never bloody asked you.
38:31It was real dishy, though, wasn't it? Oh, yeah.
38:33How do I know I was unconscious?
38:35So it was a climbing accident.
38:37The patient fell off the wall
38:39and popped out the ankle.
38:41Oh!
38:43You know this is going to be rough,
38:45innit? The foot is pointing
38:4790 degrees to the side.
38:49Oh, no!
38:51What, like that?
38:53Yeah. Fuck, that's not right.
38:55I'm not an octopus. That's not right.
38:57Advanced paramedic Mike
38:59is already on scene with the second crew.
39:01I don't want to see it! I don't want to see it!
39:03Oh, come on, let's have a look at this here.
39:05No, I don't want to see it.
39:07Isolated, right. No!
39:09Fuck me. Oh, shit.
39:11Oh, look at that.
39:13Oh, my God.
39:15No.
39:17It's still got his shoe on, though.
39:19Do you think it's just dislocated?
39:21Yes.
39:23If it's just dislocated, they can just pull it.
39:25If it's just dislocated, that's all. It's nothing.
39:27I just want to get a line in, start with some morphine.
39:29I'll get some ketamines drawn up
39:31and we'll put it back into the Benicard test.
39:33They're going to push it back in?
39:35Oh, they're going to do it there and then?
39:37Oh, really, are they?
39:39I can feel myself now getting all thingy
39:41just by what they're saying, what they're going to do.
39:43Put your hands over your arse. I'm not turning it off.
39:45The patient, Tom, will need ketamine,
39:47a strong painkiller which only advanced paramedics carry.
39:49Ketamine! Look, he's going on the ketamine!
39:51I'd be screaming my tits off by now.
39:53I know you would.
39:55How often do you climb, Tom? Have you been here before?
39:57No, I won't be coming back.
39:59They'll be saying about this on TripAdvisor.
40:01Fucking lethal.
40:03Do you want to get a toast with me?
40:05Oh, he can wiggle them still.
40:07It's really sticking out, that bit, isn't it?
40:09Yeah, it looks good.
40:11All right.
40:13It looks good!
40:15I'd be sick, I'd be sick.
40:17I would need that fucking morphine in a minute.
40:19Shouldn't need a lot, I don't think.
40:21I think that'll just slot back in.
40:23Oh, no, no, no.
40:25Let's just hope he pops back in for the poor bugger.
40:27And then everybody just nice quiet voices,
40:29just nice and chilled.
40:31Oh!
40:33Jeez, that's a fucking hefty dose, that, isn't it?
40:35What if he ends up on a bad trip?
40:37I mean, he ends up in a kettle where I broke an ankle.
40:39An ankle like that one.
40:41What do you do for work?
40:43Space and... You're a space engineer?
40:45He's a space cadet now.
40:47He's a space cadet.
40:49He's on a different planet now.
40:51Oh, my God!
40:53I build satellites.
40:55He does satellites?
40:57Oh, he actually is a space engineer.
40:59Hang on, is this the cat talking or is this real?
41:01I don't know.
41:03It's hard to tell.
41:05Oh, I can't watch this.
41:07You ready, Tom? Take a deep breath.
41:09Yeah, we're in a good place, so let's bend his knee.
41:11Walk!
41:13Walk!
41:15Oh, my goodness.
41:17Oh!
41:19Christ almighty.
41:21God, they're twisting it round.
41:23There we go.
41:25Oh!
41:27You're doing absolutely brilliant.
41:29Really, really good, Tom. Well done.
41:31There we are. Look at that.
41:33All done.
41:35Is it done? Yeah.
41:37Oh, my God.
41:39How did that roll back in so easy like that?
41:41Sometimes, though,
41:43it's sort of unexpected,
41:45but I hurt my ankle very badly
41:47when I stood on a Winnelot biscuit.
41:49A dog biscuit? Yeah.
41:51Oh!
41:53Bloody dangerous.
41:57Do you want a bag of crisps, Jenny?
41:59Oh, no, thanks, Lee. I brought some.
42:01Pass me a bag.
42:03Best friends Jenny and Lee.
42:05Just fill me up while I go home.
42:07Oh!
42:13Oh, it smells a bit...
42:17Oh, I think I should have took the lid off.
42:19Don't I?
42:21Oh, that's...
42:23That's really...
42:25Oh, it went down the road.
42:27Oh, God.
42:31Now you're spitting it all over.
42:33Oh, Christ.
42:37Oh, God.
42:39Oh, God, it's got stuck.
42:41I'm egg-bound.
42:45On Friday, it was shockwaves
42:47from across the pond
42:49making headlines on ITV News.
42:51Shit!
42:53You silly dick.
42:55The news gives me tension in the neck.
42:57We need to do some neck rolls.
42:59Do some neck rolls.
43:01Trump will be on tonight, I tell you now.
43:03There won't be a day that goes by without Trump being on.
43:05The president-elect remains at his Florida estate
43:07protected by a heightened police presence.
43:09Maybe that's to stop him getting out.
43:11Yeah, maybe he's on house arrest.
43:13I was out tired the other day.
43:15I sent a page by accident.
43:17President-elect.
43:19Mar-a-Lago may be private property,
43:21but Donald Trump often referred to it
43:23as his winter White House.
43:25Apparently, it's grander than the White House.
43:27Yeah.
43:29From there came news of his pick for chief of staff,
43:31his former campaign chair, Susie Wiles.
43:33He describes her as universally admired.
43:35Surely not universally.
43:37I've never heard of her before, have you?
43:39I've never heard of her.
43:41Oh, God.
43:43In all honesty, how could you vote for that?
43:45Don't mind me.
43:47Young man, where?
43:49He's 78, you know.
43:51I know.
43:53Come, Susie, come here.
43:55Come here, Susie.
43:57Come on, Susie.
43:59Come, Susie, come.
44:01Come on, Susie.
44:03Already he has chosen his chief of staff,
44:05the veteran Florida-based campaign manager, Susie Wiles.
44:07Susie Wiles, basically the lady
44:09who's been working behind the scenes on the campaign.
44:11Bloody hell, sir, she's the one responsible for the campaign.
44:13Yeah.
44:15She's been to Bob Marshay, hasn't she, Mum?
44:17She has.
44:19And another insider, the richest man in the world,
44:21may play a major role as well.
44:23Elon, you know.
44:25Elon.
44:27Another madman on power.
44:29One of the greatest capitalists.
44:31Why is he always doing that?
44:33What role has he got in politics?
44:35Exactly what qualifies him for the job.
44:37Musk, in fact, joined a phone call today
44:39between Trump and President Zelensky,
44:41a sign of some early unexpected diplomacy.
44:43So Musk was listening in on that conversation?
44:45That's frightening for the world, not just America.
44:47Yeah, yeah.
44:49I feel really sorry for Ukraine.
44:51They must be absolutely bricking themselves
44:53as to what's coming next.
44:55There is also Robert Kennedy Jr.
44:57Is he the guy that had a worm in his brain?
44:59Yeah.
45:01A vaccine sceptic who seems destined
45:03for a role in American health policy.
45:05He's a vaccine sceptic talking about wealth.
45:07Is he?
45:09Oh, my God, the lunatics really are running the asylum.
45:11I've been on holiday with Robert Kennedy Jr.
45:13On a boat with him?
45:15Yeah.
45:17Has he been on the same boat as you, Mary?
45:19Mm.
45:21Was he peddling the anti-vax thing then?
45:23No, no, he was more normal then.
45:25That's exciting, isn't it?
45:27I love it that you're so well-connected, Mary.
45:29President Trump and I are going to stop
45:31the mass poisoning of American children.
45:33Together, we're going to make America healthy again.
45:35That's catchy.
45:37Yeah.
45:39Everything is again, isn't it?
45:41Yeah, well, it's all because you've heard of MAGA,
45:43Make America Great Again.
45:45OK.
45:47So you're going to get all these acronyms now.
45:49I think there's MASA, Make America Sexy Again, as well.
45:51Republicans will control the Senate here
45:53and the House of Representatives.
45:55Oh, what?
45:57So that means any policies he's got,
45:59he's going to come through because he couldn't do it.
46:01Yeah, he'll just push them through.
46:03Meaning the president-elect will have the mandate
46:05and the power to take America
46:07in a very different direction.
46:09So he's more powerful now than he was before.
46:11Absolutely, yes.
46:13Goodness.
46:15Well, what exciting times we live in.
46:19With a new series on the way,
46:21we'll be streaming with the first series
46:23of The Couple Next Door right now.
46:25We saw the UK final tonight.
46:27Will Married at First Sight New Zealand
46:29have anything like that letter that Luke wrote?
46:31Watch Monday 8 on E4 to find out.
46:33Stay with Channel 4.
46:35The Last Leg is coming up next.