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00:00If you would have told me when I was a kid that someday I would be doing science next to Professor Proton, I would not have believed you.
00:07If someone had told me that people would still call me Professor Proton when I was 83 years old, I never would have quit smoking.
00:18I'm sorry, Dr. Jeffreys, I'm just excited. This nanovacuum tube idea of yours is really interesting.
00:24Hello, Leonard.
00:25Oh, hello, Arthur. What an odd coincidence that you're both here.
00:29Why is it odd?
00:30Because as it just so happens, I'm also spending the day with a beloved children's television science personality.
00:36Isn't that right, new friend and colleague, Bill Nye, the science guy?
00:45Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.
00:50Wow, Arthur Jeffreys, it's an honor to meet you. My show never would have happened without yours.
00:55That's what I told my lawyers.
01:00Mr. Nye, hello. I'm sorry he got you involved in this nonsense.
01:04He said I'd be speaking to a class.
01:06No, I said you were teaching someone a lesson. Now let's go.
01:12What are you guys working on?
01:13Oh, uh, we're making nanovacuum tubes.
01:16Oh, that's interesting.
01:18Haven't you stolen enough from me? Back off, bow tie!
01:22Go for Dr. K.
01:25Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
01:27Yes, who is this?
01:28Neil deGrasse Tyson.
01:33Um, wow. How fun is this Twitter thing, huh?
01:39You think you're funny?
01:41I'm not Seinfeld funny, but I did an open mic night one.
01:44You're not funny.
01:46You think you're funny?
01:47I'm not Seinfeld funny, but I did an open mic night one.
01:50You're not funny.
01:52Yeah, that's what they said at the Chuckle Hut.
01:55How about this? I've got a book signing at Froman's in Pasadena next week.
01:59Why don't you come by and say some of those things to my face?
02:03Oh, no, but thanks for the invite.
02:08Smart move. And the next time you pick up your phone, remember, I'm the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system.
02:15And it deserved it, so thank you, bye-bye.
02:19Whoa, that was fun.
02:23Let's see who else needs a deGrasse kickin'.
02:30Bill Nye Science Guy.
02:34Hey, Bill, Neil Tyson, we've gotta talk.
02:39Raj, have you seen Howard?
02:42I think he's eating lunch.
02:44Sheldon, I want you to meet Neil deGrasse Tyson from the Hayden Planetarium in New York.
02:49I'm quite familiar with Dr. Tyson.
02:51He's responsible for the demotion of Pluto from planetary status.
02:55I liked Pluto.
02:58Ergo, I do not like you.
03:01But I actually didn't demote Pluto. That was a vote of the International Astronomical Union.
03:05If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
03:10Think about that, Dr. Tyson.
03:14Is that the guy you were telling me about?
03:16Oh, yeah.
03:18So I'm thinking, you won the Nobel Prize, what, three years ago?
03:21So you must deal with a whole lot of what has Smoot done lately.
03:26My thought is, we continue my research as a team, you know, Cooper, Smoot, alphabetical.
03:32And when we win the Nobel Prize, you'll be back on top.
03:36With all due respect, Dr. Cooper, are you on crack?
03:43Fine, Smoot Cooper. Wow, what a diva.
03:49Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
03:57I know.
04:00I want to thank you for taking time to see me.
04:04My pleasure. I enjoyed reading your paper very much. You clearly have a brilliant mind.
04:12I know.
04:16Your thesis at the Higgs bosonus of black hole, accelerating fabrics through time, is fascinating.
04:24Thank you. It just came to me one morning in the shower.
04:29That's nice. Too bad it's wrong.
04:36What do you mean, wrong?
04:40You made an arithmetic mistake on page two.
04:45It was quite a boner.
04:48It was quite a boner.
04:53No, no, that can't be right. I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
05:00Are you saying I do?
05:03No, no, of course not. I was thinking, oh gosh golly, I made a boo-boo.
05:09And I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
05:17Great. Another feinter.
05:21Here you go.
05:23Thanks.
05:25You've got to be kidding me.
05:27Sorry?
05:29You're Elon Musk.
05:31I am?
05:37What are you doing here?
05:40I'm washing dishes.
05:42Well, I was on the turkey line, but I got demoted for being too generous with the gravy.
05:49Oh man, what an honor to meet you. I'm such a fan of Tesla and SpaceX, all your companies.
06:00Howard Wolowitz, Caltech.
06:02Nice to meet you, Howard. It feels great to come down here and help the less fortunate, huh?
06:05Oh, yeah. Nothing better than helping people.
06:13Which is something I realized when I was viewing Earth from the deck of the International Space Station,
06:22where I spent two months as a payload specialist, a job I was qualified for because I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
06:31And I thought I ladled the gravy on deck.
06:35Sorry. It's just, you're you. I really want you to adopt me.
06:42Well, you're here on Thanksgiving, so you're probably a good person.
06:45Oh, I made my wife come down, too.
06:49You think you might ever get back out to space?
06:52Is that a job offer? Because I really want to go to Mars.
06:56Assuming I can bring my wife. She hardly takes up any room. She's basically a carry-on.
07:00Well, we're not quite there yet, but we're always looking for engineers. So let me give you my email and we can stay in touch.
07:09Oh, look. Someone hardly touched their pumpkin pie. Want to share it with me?
07:16A partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie from a homeless shelter with Elon Musk? You bet I do!
07:23Elon Musk? You bet I do!
07:33Hey, Mike?
07:34Yeah?
07:35I changed my mind. I don't want to do this.
07:40Good one.
07:41Yeah. I'm a funny guy. I also have a hysterical bit planned for later where I pretend to cry through the whole launch.
07:54Hey, Fruit Loops. What's up?
07:58Hey, Mike. Listen, NASA asked me to throw out the first pitch at an Angels game. You got any advice?
08:07Yeah. Don't do it.
08:10What else you up to?
08:12Why shouldn't I do it?
08:14There's no upside. If you do well, no one cares.
08:18Why shouldn't I do it?
08:19There's no upside. If you do well, no one cares. And if you screw up, you're an idiot on YouTube forever.
08:29But it's for a good cause. What about all the kids that'll be there?
08:33That's what I'm telling you. Kids are the worst.
08:37My own daughter tweeted, I have a giant nose.
08:43Well, maybe I'll do a good job.
08:44I don't know. In space, you couldn't even toss me a pen and that was in zero gravity.
08:51Okay. Thanks for the pep talk.
08:53Anytime, Fruit Loops. Give your wife a hug for me. She's so much cuter than you. I don't know how you ever got her.
09:02He's so nice.
09:07Professor Thorne.
09:09Dr. Hofstadter.
09:10You know my wife, Penny. Sure.
09:12Hi.
09:14We wanted to talk to you about Dr. Cooper. Now, before you say no...
09:17No.
09:20Well, then after you say no...
09:22No.
09:25Okay, look, Sheldon's a pain in the ass, but Dr. Fowler's really nice, so if you average them out, math, you got someone who's okay.
09:35And more than the person, the Nobel's about the work. You should understand that more than anyone.
09:39Yes, because of your work on gravitational waves.
09:41You know my work?
09:43I do, but I'm really hogging this conversation, Leonard.
09:47Just give them a chance. Science has a history of difficult people. Look at Newton, who was a jerk to Leibniz, and Leibniz, who was a jerk to everyone.
09:56Yeah, you know, and I don't need to tell you that gravitational waves are disturbances in the curvature of space-time.
10:01Or that... Hey! You worked on the movie Interstellar?
10:12It's Stephen Hawking.
10:14Answer it. I want to hear her.
10:19Professor Hawking, how nice of you to call.
10:22Hello. I really enjoyed our game Dr. Cooper.
10:26Oh, me too.
10:28Or should I say Dr. Loser?
10:35Ha ha ha.
10:37Yes, congratulations. You won fair and square. Very impressive, sir.
10:44Do you like brain teasers?
10:46Oh, I love brain teasers.
10:49What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common?
10:54They both suck.
11:03Neener, neener.
11:06Hey, whatcha watching?
11:08I don't know. Raj sent me some video of Buzz Aldrin.
11:13Here you go. It's a Milky Way. The Milky Way's a galaxy in space.
11:21I've been in space.
11:26Here's a Mars bar.
11:29I'm an astronaut.
11:30I'm an astronaut.
11:36And this one's a moon pie.
11:38I walked on the moon.
11:42What have you done?
11:47Okay, I get it.
11:50Okay, who's ready for some science?
11:58Me too.
12:00Okay, I am Dr. Leonard Hofstetter.
12:03I am here with my friends Dr. Cooper and real-life astronaut Howard Wolowitz.
12:08And we are going to show you girls how cool a job in science can be.
12:13How cool, you ask?
12:15Well, how about negative 273 degrees?
12:18Because that's the temperature at which entropy reaches its minimum value.
12:24Did I just learn something new and have fun doing it? What?
12:31All right!
12:35So now let's bring out theoretical physicist Dr. Sheldon Cooper!
12:46Hello, female children.
12:49Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist.
12:56Polish-born, French-educated, Madame Curie.
13:01Co-discoverer of radioactivity, she was a hero of science.
13:06Until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became filled with blood,
13:12and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery.
13:17With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't happen to any of you.
13:26Are we done? Can we go?
13:29The thing to remember is you can go to outer space too.
13:34Look at me. I went to this very school.
13:38Those desks you're sitting in? I was once super-glued to one of them.
13:45Did you go to the moon?
13:47No, but I did go to the International Space Station.
13:52Did you fly the rocket?
13:54No, but I was in the rocket. I didn't actually...
13:59So you just flew around? That's kind of like my uncle. He's a flight attendant.
14:07No, I'm an American hero. Your uncle brings people nuts!
14:13Boy, we are learning a lot here. Thank you, astronaut Howard.
14:18I am what's called an experimental physicist, which is super fun,
14:23because I get to test theories and work with lasers.
14:27How did you decide to become a scientist?
14:30Excellent question. I suppose I've always been into science.
14:35My mother and father are scientists, so I was kind of led in that direction.
14:39Pushed might be a better way to describe it.
14:42To be honest with you guys, when I was your age, I wanted to be a rap star.
14:47Like Snoop Dogg, but with a healthy respect for the police.
14:54I'm not sure you laugh.
14:56It's like my mother did.
14:59After I confided, I was derided and chided.
15:02My mom's and I collided. She said my dreams were misguided.
15:11That's just a little freestyle.
15:13I never wanted to play the cello.
15:18How do you meet girls playing the cello?
15:21Hey, you want to come over to my house and listen to me play an instrument
15:24that sounds like a suicidal bumblebee?
15:28Quick, pull the fire alarm. Let's get out of here.
15:32Hello again.
15:34I don't know if women in general have been actively discouraged
15:39from pursuing the sciences.
15:40But it's clear you young women here today have been.
15:49While I was listening to my colleagues waste your time,
15:53it occurred to me that it might be much more meaningful
15:57to hear about women in science from actual women in science.
16:02And I happen to know two brilliant examples
16:05who have agreed to speak to you on the phone right now.
16:08Dr. Rostenkowski, Dr. Fowler, are you there?
16:11We're here.
16:13Thank you for taking time out of your very busy schedule
16:16to enlighten these young women.
16:19It's our pleasure.
16:25I'm Dr. Fowler, and I'm a neuroscientist.
16:28And I'm Dr. Rostenkowski-Walowitz, and I'm a microbiologist.
16:32The world of science needs more women, but from a young age,
16:35we girls are encouraged to care more about the way we look
16:39than about the power of our minds.
16:44That's true.
16:46Every one of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
16:50Unless you want to be Cinderella.
16:53Come at me, see what happens.
16:58It's for the Nobel laureates.
17:00We need them on our side, but unfortunately, Sheldon...
17:02No, unfortunately, Sheldon, that's all you've got to say.
17:06So you need these people's support, and you're sending them baked goods?
17:10Yeah, they're pretty smart.
17:12Don't you think they're going to realize it's just a bribe?
17:14I could think, but sometimes brilliant people
17:16can be painfully oblivious to social cues.
17:21Thank you for pointing that out, Sheldon.
17:25Anytime.
17:33Sheldon Cooper?
17:40Sheldon Cooper?
17:42Pass.
17:45Sheldon Cooper.
17:47Aw.
17:50Oatmeal raisin.
17:56Oh, it's from Saul Perlmutter.
17:59He sent me a picture.
18:00Oh, let me see.
18:02He arranged the cookies to spell out thank you.
18:07Sheldon, that word isn't thank.
18:11My new book, The Hidden Reality, takes on a grand question.
18:16Is our universe the only universe?
18:19You see, there's a growing belief among scientists like me
18:23that ours may only be one among many universes
18:26populating a gigantic cosmos.
18:27In The Hidden Reality, I explore this possibility
18:30without presuming any knowledge of mathematics or physics
18:33on the part of the reader.
18:35Hysterical.
18:38I'm glad you talked me into this.
18:40We work so hard, sometimes it's nice to goof off
18:43and do something silly.
18:45Agreed.
18:47Wait till you hear how he dumbs down
18:49Werner Heisenberg for the crowd.
18:51You may actually believe you're in a comedy club.
18:53You can think about Heisenberg's uncertainty principle
18:55much like the special order menu
18:57that you find in a certain Chinese restaurant
18:59where you have dishes in column A
19:01and other dishes in column B.
19:03And if you order the first dish in column A,
19:05you can't order the corresponding dish in column B.
19:07That's sort of like the uncertainty principle.
19:10Ba-dum-bump.
19:14Say, I heard an interesting tidbit
19:16about Howard and Bernadette.
19:18Really, Amy? Gossip?
19:20I'm disappointed in you.
19:22No, no.
19:23Evolutionary biologist Robin Dunbar
19:25has identified gossip as an aid
19:27to social bonding in large groups.
19:29Forgive my language, but poppycock.
19:32What if he's right?
19:34And by not participating in gossip,
19:36society breaks down into small,
19:38feral bands of tattooed motorcycle riders
19:40fighting to the death
19:42over the last few cans of tuna fish.
19:44Fine. In the parlance of the urban music scene,
19:46what's the 411?
19:48Bernadette is thinking about
19:50breaking up with Howard.
19:51I believe our nation's tuna cans are safe.
19:54Excuse me.
19:56Dr. Green, question?
19:58Yes.
20:00You've dedicated your life's work
20:02to educating the general populace
20:04about complex scientific ideas.
20:06Yes, in part.
20:08Have you ever considered
20:10trying to do something useful?
20:12Perhaps reading to the elderly?
20:15Excuse me?
20:17But not your books.
20:19Something they might enjoy.
20:22I kid, of course.
20:24Big fan.
20:31Hey, that is one hot weather girl.
20:34How come if I say that,
20:36I get in trouble?
20:38You want to say it?
20:40You can say it.
20:47Nice try.
20:48And I have to find some other way
20:50to not have sex with me tonight.
20:52And it's not weather girl,
20:54it's weather woman.
20:56And with us today to talk about
20:58the upcoming meteor shower
21:00and the best places to view it,
21:02Caltech astrophysicist
21:04Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.
21:06Thank you for being here.
21:08Thank you for having me.
21:10I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was unavailable.
21:12Yeah.
21:16What do you mean, yeah?
21:18Not important.
21:20So, what can we expect to see
21:22from this meteor shower?
21:24Well, I think you can count on
21:26a lot of flaming gas,
21:28which is what you would have gotten
21:30from your first choice,
21:32Neil deGrasse Tyson.
21:34Pull up, Raj, pull up!
21:36Sounds like there's no love lost
21:38between you and Dr. Tyson.
21:40Oh, no, I love Neil.
21:42I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil,
21:44but who does, right?
21:46I want to look away,
21:48I want to look away.
21:50Oh, you know, I'm told
21:52we are out of time,
21:54having learned nothing
21:56about meteor showers
21:58and too much about Dr. Koothrappali.
22:05Would you like to hear
22:07some songs I've rewritten
22:09to get children interested
22:11in the hard sciences?
22:13Sure. Really?
22:15I like music, I like science.
22:16There was a scientist
22:18who had a theory
22:20and James Clark Maxwell
22:22was his name-o,
22:24J-A-M-E-S-C-L-E-R-K space M-A-X-W-E-L-L
22:27and James Clark Maxwell
22:29was his name-o.
22:31There was a scientist
22:33who had a theory
22:35and James Clark Maxwell
22:37was his name-o,
22:39A-M-E-S-C-L-E-R-K-space M-A-X-W-E-L-L.
22:41Okay, okay, we get it.
22:43Perhaps you'd prefer this one.
22:44at all, because it has eight legs and two body parts.
22:51That's pretty cool, Sheldon.
22:53Yeah, do either of you know Beyonce?
22:55I'd love her to get behind you.
22:58Hey.
22:59Hey.
23:00Hello.
23:01You guys know the new Discovery class missions
23:02that NASA's been working on?
23:03Yeah.
23:04Well, they're looking to include a message from Earth
23:06in case one of them is encountered by alien life.
23:09Oh, when I encountered alien life,
23:11I discovered that the key thing was not to sit in its spot.
23:14All right, you can't breathe our air without an inhaler.
23:19He's allergic to earth nuts, but I'm the alien.
23:23Anyway, I'm among a handful of scientists
23:25that have been asked to submit a design proposal
23:28for the message and its delivery system.
23:30Congratulations.
23:31And I was wondering if any of you guys
23:34would like to help me do it?
23:36Are you kidding?
23:37Yes.
23:37What did you have in mind?
23:38I'll tell you exactly what you should do.
23:40Avoid the presumption of the Terran sensory input paradigm.
23:43Absolutely.
23:44You need a device capable of delivering information
23:46across a wide range of perceptual modalities.
23:49Any intelligent organism would at the very least
23:51need the ability to locate the position
23:52of objects in space.
23:54So the ideal interstellar lingua franca would be haptic.
23:57Oh, how about a 3D tactile communicator rig
23:59for cross-sensory transposition?
24:00Exactly what I expected.
24:02Two people forcing their ideas on me
24:04and only one gentleman who could be bothered
24:06to ask me what my thoughts were.
24:07You two are out.
24:08Congratulations, Leonard.
24:09You're on the team.
24:11My mommy raised a gentleman.
24:13Oh.
24:17Amy.
24:18Amy.
24:19Amy.
24:33Will you marry me?
24:35One moment, please.
24:37Really?
24:38You're going to answer that right now?
24:40It's Leonard.
24:41I don't want to be rude.
24:43Hello?
24:44Oh, hey.
24:45Where you been?
24:45We've been calling you for hours.
24:47Oh, I'm sorry.
24:48My phone was on airplane mode.
24:49Why?
24:51Because I was on an airplane.
24:54Hey, put him on speaker.
24:56Hey, where are you?
24:58I came to Princeton to see Amy.
25:00It's a funny story, Amy.
25:02I'm not sure if I should tell you.
25:03It's a funny story, actually.
25:05I was having lunch with Dr. Nowitzki,
25:08and she kissed me.
25:09Excuse me?
25:10What?
25:11I'm sorry.
25:12Wait, and in that moment,
25:14I realized that Amy was the only woman
25:17I ever wanted to kiss for the rest of my life.
25:19So I came to New Jersey to ask her to marry me.
25:23Oh, that's so sweet.
25:25Sheldon.
25:27Yeah, although there was one man
25:28whose blessing I needed first.
25:31I've thought about it,
25:32and I really want to spend the rest of my life with Amy.
25:37Do I have your blessing?
25:39Well, Sheldon.
25:43I think you should make her finger like Saturn
25:46and put a ring on it.
25:50You asked Stephen Hawking and not her father?
25:54Stephen Hawking's a genius.
25:55I mean, if he said no,
25:56I wasn't gonna waste my time on her father.
26:00But you did ask my father.
26:02I did.
26:03He said yes.
26:04Although not in a robot voice,
26:05so it wasn't nearly as cool.
26:07Okay, oh my God.
26:08I can't believe you guys are engaged.
26:10We're not engaged yet.
26:11She's taking forever to answer.
26:13Because you're on the phone.
26:17We'll call you back.
26:24She said yes.
26:25Yay!
26:26Congratulations!
26:27Woo!
26:29Sheldon, it's me.
26:33What?
26:34Look, I know you're mad,
26:35but I have to write a statement
26:36that says a physics community is close to a breakthrough.
26:38And since you actually believe that,
26:40I could really use your help.
26:41Sorry, I can't.
26:42Come on, don't be like that.
26:44I can't, because I think you were right.
26:47What?
26:48Look, not all science pans out.
26:52You know, we've been hoping supersymmetry
26:54was true for decades.
26:55And finally, we built the Large Hadron Collider,
26:58which is supposed to prove it
26:59by finding these new particles.
27:01But it hasn't.
27:02And maybe supersymmetry, our last big idea,
27:05is simply wrong.
27:07Well, that sounds awful.
27:10Now I get why everyone hates me.
27:14On the bright side,
27:15after working together for 15 years,
27:17you finally get to hear me say you were right.
27:22Yeah, you did.
27:25How's it feel?
27:27Given I might be unemployed, bittersweet.
27:32Okay, so you guys are upset
27:33because the collider thing disproved your theories?
27:36It's worse than that.
27:38It hasn't found anything in years.
27:39So we don't know if we're right.
27:41We don't know if we're wrong.
27:41We don't know where to go next.
27:43All I know is it looks like a tongue-kissed avatar.
27:49Come on, you guys are physicists.
27:51Okay, you're always gonna be physicists.
27:53And sure, sometimes the physics is hard,
27:56but isn't that what makes it boring?
28:01Hey.
28:02We're here.
28:03What's going on?
28:04Okay, as far as I can see,
28:06science is dead because Leonard killed it.
28:08And I don't know who the Romulans are,
28:10but those guys know how to party.
28:14So what do you want us to do?
28:15I don't know.
28:16You're scientists.
28:17Cheer them up.
28:17Cheer them up?
28:18Do you even know what a scientist is?
28:22But we don't need to be cheered up.
28:24It just turns out that physics is exactly like Lost.
28:27Started out great and turns out just a big old waste of time.
28:31Woo-hoo.
28:32You know what you sound like?
28:33Babies.
28:34Two whiny babies.
28:36There's nothing worse than being stuck
28:38with two whiny babies.
28:42Oh.
28:55Oh my God, I'm gonna have two babies.
28:58No, no, no, no, no, no.
28:59Babies are great.
29:00You're lucky to have two babies.
29:01I mean, look at me.
29:02I'm all alone.
29:03I'm never gonna have babies
29:04because you can't make a baby
29:06watching Netflix with your dog.
29:14Thanks for coming.
29:18Hey, good news.
29:19They're inviting several Nobel laureates to our reception.
29:22Oh, great.
29:22Like who?
29:24Makoto Kobayashi.
29:26Oh.
29:29What?
29:31I may have been less than kind to him
29:32about his Nobel prize win.
29:35Why?
29:35I was jealous, angry, and new to Twitter.
29:37It was a dangerous combination.
29:40Okay, so scratch Kobayashi.
29:43George Smoot's on here.
29:47We have a history.
29:50Soul Perlmutter?
29:52Oh.
29:55What about Kip Thorne?
29:56Yeah, wait, now that was a misunderstanding.
29:58I didn't know he was right behind me.
30:02So you've alienated everyone we need to help us?
30:05Well, Amy, if I'd known that someday we need them,
30:07I would never have insulted them.
30:10Well, that doesn't make it better.
30:12Oh.
30:13Well, it's also not true.
30:17Sheldon, we've been together so long,
30:19it's hard to remember a time you weren't in my life.
30:22Believe me, I tried.
30:25You make me laugh.
30:26You make me a better scientist.
30:28You make me crazy.
30:30You're more than just my roommate.
30:32You're my brother.
30:36Happy birthday, buddy.
30:37Cheers.
30:38Cheers!
30:39Thank you, that was wonderful.
30:42Oh, wait, wait, wait, Stuart didn't get to speak.
30:44Oh, oh, okay.
30:47Sheldon, I've spent most of my life feeling invisible,
30:51but having you and everyone-
30:52Hey, everybody, listen up.
30:54He nailed it.
30:56I've got someone who couldn't be here,
30:58but really wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
31:02Hello, Sheldon.
31:05Professor Hawking.
31:06Happy birthday to you.
31:08Thank you so much, I can't believe it.
31:11Happy birthday to you.
31:12Oh, you're singing, I'm sorry.
31:16Happy birthday, dear Sheldon.
31:19Professor Hawking, if you just give us one second,
31:21Professor Hawking, if you just give us one second,
31:23we'll light the candles and we can all sing together.
31:26I wasn't rushing it, but all right.
31:30Okay, while they get the cake, Sheldon,
31:32I just want to say, I hope you didn't think
31:33you're going to get through tonight without a hug.
31:37You know, I used to hate these hugs.
31:42Now they're just extremely irritating.
31:48Physics is all we're cut out for.
31:51If we weren't physicists, what would we be?
31:54I don't know, popular?
31:59That's fine, I don't need to be a theoretical physicist.
32:02There's lots of things I could use this brain for.
32:05I could be an accountant for the mob.
32:10I could guess people's weight at the fair.
32:14Okay, this is getting silly.
32:16Is it?
32:18180.
32:22Okay, that is enough.
32:25Your lives are not wasted.
32:26Your careers are not at a dead end.
32:28You just hit a rough patch.
32:30Instead of feeling sorry for yourselves,
32:31you need to get up and get inspired.
32:33How?
32:34I don't know.
32:35You know, when I'm feeling down, I go for a run,
32:37which is exactly why I'm not 180 pounds, genius.
32:42I know where we need to go.
32:44Are we running there?
32:44Because watching drunk Sheldon run
32:46would be the highlight of my life.
32:49We're going to see Richard Feynman.
32:52Penny, Richard Feynman is an iconic physicist.
32:54I know who he is.
32:55Leonard dressed as him for Halloween last year.
33:02I had no idea Richard Feynman was dead.
33:05Most people don't know,
33:06he's actually buried right here in Al-Hadidna.
33:09I'm sure they keep a lid on that to avoid traffic jams.
33:16Here he is.
33:18Oh, wow, he's buried with his wife.
33:20We get it.
33:21A lady loved you.
33:22Quit bragging.
33:25Feynman was so cool.
33:27When I was a kid, I'd put on some headphones
33:30and crank up one of his lectures
33:32and just jam out to knowledge.
33:36This guy knew how to live,
33:38taught himself musical instruments,
33:41studied Portuguese just to give a speech in Brazil.
33:45The only part of me that's been to Brazil
33:46is my bikini line.
33:53He did so much.
33:55And here we are stuck and letting him down.
33:58Feynman used to say he didn't do physics
34:01for the glory or the awards,
34:03but just for the fun of it.
34:07He's right.
34:09Physics is only dead when we stop being excited about it.
34:13Even beyond the grave, he's imparting wisdom.
34:17I'm the one who remembered it.
34:21Give me the bottle.
34:22It might be a little corny,
34:23but I say we pour one out for all the science homies
34:27who came before us.
34:28I love that.
34:36Here comes some more.
34:42We got to see him run.
34:44Look, I wasn't going to say anything,
34:45but since you seem to be okay
34:47with the article being canceled,
34:48I have a little confession.
34:50I'm the reason it was pulled.
34:52What? How?
34:54I sent the editors of the magazine
34:55a pretty scathing email.
34:57Amy, what did you say?
34:59I simply pointed out that they would never consider
35:01doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality,
35:05let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
35:08Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson
35:10in a wet T-shirt bent over the hood of a pool party.
35:12In a wet T-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.
35:18Isn't this nice?
35:19The pleasures of fellowship and camaraderie
35:22without having to tolerate your germy breath on my skin.
35:27I say we just take him to Tatooine
35:28and sell him to some Jawas.
35:31That's two, dude.
35:32Write your own jokes.
35:36Oh, great.
35:39Hi, I'm Penny.
35:40I'll be your waitress.
35:41Why are you introducing yourself?
35:43I don't want people not know
35:44I have any prior connection to you whatsoever.
35:46Can you tell me the specials this evening?
35:48Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you.
35:50Obviously.
35:51I don't even have water yet.
35:53Because you're not here.
35:55That's discrimination against the otherwise located.
35:59I'm going to have to go over your head.
36:04Manager?
36:05Manager?
36:07Oh, Lord.
36:09Look who it is.
36:11Is that Steve Wozniak?
36:14I think it is.
36:15The great and powerful Woz.
36:19Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the co-founders
36:21of Apple Computer.
36:22He and Steve Jobs started-
36:23Yeah, I know who he is.
36:24I watch Dancing with the Stars.
36:27I must speak to him.
36:28Of course you must.
36:32You know, there's an olive garden down the street.
36:34You guys should try it sometime.
36:37Excuse me, Mr. Wozniak?
36:39Oh, hey.
36:40Nice virtual presence device.
36:43I just want to say I'm a big fan.
36:45You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.
36:49Only 15th?
36:51It's still six spots above Steve Jobs.
36:56I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.
36:59Yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing.
37:02One of my proudest possessions
37:05is a vintage 1977 Apple II.
37:08Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3.3,
37:12it was a pretty nifty little achievement.
37:14Thanks, we were shooting for nifty.
37:17You know, if you had it here, I'd autograph it for you.
37:21Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes,
37:23depending on how the buses are running.
37:28Nerds.
37:29I'm coming, Woz.
37:30I'm coming.
37:36Aw.