Frank The Tank
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00:00All right! This week we got a special coming out on Netflix with Burt Kreischer.
00:07His latest special, what's it called? Lucky? Lucky! Yes, that's right and you
00:12know he's one of the top stand-up comedians today and I figured why not
00:18get a walk with him. I love it.
00:21Frank walks, Frank walks. It's time for Frank walks. Frank talks while Frank walks. It's time for Frank walks.
00:36I love it. Now, I see you went to Florida State. Yes. And they had a rough season last year.
00:46Very rough. I mean, someone's gonna have to make that fan eat dog shit.
00:57Yeah, you can say that. Especially if they get off to a bad start. Someone needs to hunt him down and he's this guy to do it.
01:06Yeah, yeah. What do you think, what do you think? Hey, how you doing?
01:09Hey, how's it going? I'm so skinny now.
01:16Yeah, well you've been at the stand-up game for a while. You always did the podcast with Tom Segura.
01:22Yeah. Two Bears. Yeah. I started stand-up when I was 26 years old in New York City and I met Tom.
01:33We were opening for the same guy and he was younger comedy than me and I took him on the road a couple times.
01:41I had him open for me and we we just became friends real quickly.
01:46And then when podcasting took off, we were screwing around on his podcast talking about what if we were gay?
01:51What would it look like? We were laughing so hard. We were like, we should do a podcast called Two Bears, One Cave.
01:56And then pandemic hit and we did it. And now we're still doing it. We have a vodka company. It's amazing.
02:02That's that's great. Well, the pandemic changed everything.
02:05Pandemic changed everything. I mean, I think for the first time we're starting to get a little bit more sense of normal.
02:11Yeah, but it's it's been a while. Yeah, it's I was actually here when the pandemic hit.
02:17I was doing this theater right up around the corner. I was in my bus. We had partied.
02:21I was just telling my story to somebody. We had partied. We took the red eye in.
02:25We went down to a bar. I had a meeting, a general meeting with a producer.
02:28And he was like, yeah, man, you heard about this virus?
02:32And his partner came down, a girl came down with rubber gloves and a mask on.
02:36And I was like, what a fucking lunatic. I was like, I think she's overreacting a little bit.
02:41I went back, got drunk, went to my tour bus, passed out, woke up.
02:46And they're like, yo, show's canceled. You might want to head home.
02:50There's a pandemic. And we took my tour bus from New Orleans to L.A.
02:54So, yeah, I have a weird place in my heart for New Orleans.
02:56This is where I was when the world shut down.
03:00Well, it looks like everything's hyped up again. Everything's going crazy again.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Now, I was watching some of your material, and you talk a lot about your family.
03:10Yeah.
03:11And your stand-up act.
03:12Mm-hmm.
03:13Of course, you also don't wear a shirt.
03:16Yeah.
03:17What possessed you to take your shirt off and be the shirtless comedian?
03:22You know, comedy wasn't what it is today.
03:27Comedy just used to be, like, something we did on the road for, like, 275 people.
03:33And you never thought you were going to put it in a special.
03:36You never thought. There was no hope of Netflix or anything.
03:39It's just, like, so taking your shirt off was, like, what I did on the road.
03:43And then when I got the opportunity to do a special, I've been doing it so much.
03:46And I was like, well, shit, I'm not going to wear a shirt now.
03:49I'm uncomfortable with a shirt on.
03:51So, yeah, comedy used to be different.
03:54Like, crowd work was something you did when you were bored.
03:58And now crowd work gets you a career.
04:00It's crazy. Comedy's just changed so much.
04:02It's insane to me.
04:04Well, you've got to worry about the sensitivities of people.
04:08I don't. I mean, some people do. I don't.
04:10I don't think. But I'm also kind of stupid like that.
04:13Like, I feel like if cancel culture or whatever is like sharks in the ocean.
04:20Sure, they're there. How you doing, brother?
04:22Sure, they're there.
04:24But if you don't pay attention to them, they're not going to attack you.
04:27I mean, they may attack you sometimes.
04:29But most of the times they're not going to attack you.
04:32Yeah, I mean, I just go about guns blazing, you know?
04:36Yeah.
04:37It's like people actually look for reasons to be offended.
04:42Yeah, I 100% agree with that.
04:44And that's the issue.
04:46That's why I think being a comedian today is harder than it's ever been.
04:50Yeah, people. Look, man.
04:52People watch the Internet to get outraged.
04:55There's people who watch videos just to get angry.
04:59I don't understand that.
05:00I would never go to a comedy show looking to get offended.
05:02I'd go to a comedy show to laugh.
05:04That's what I like about you.
05:05There's no change in who you are.
05:06You are one thing.
05:07You are one speed, and it's authentic.
05:11I mean, you have to be that way.
05:14You can't be phony.
05:16I mean, I started out by just making a bunch of rants.
05:21Yeah.
05:22I still do the rants, but now the walking has become a big part of my journey.
05:27Now, what's the furthest you've ever walked?
05:31Well, I'm really stepping it up.
05:33I'm averaging 18,000 steps a day.
05:37Are you serious?
05:38Since New Year, yes.
05:39So, shit.
05:40So, wait.
05:41You know, Tommy and I are putting on a 5K in Tampa.
05:44Yeah, I heard about that.
05:45May 4th with Jelly Roll.
05:46I think we're going to try to get down to it for that.
05:49Would you?
05:50Yes.
05:51I would love to have you at our 5K.
05:52That would be great.
05:53Yeah, we're doing Jelly Roll.
05:54Me and Tommy are doing the 5K May 4th in Tampa at Raymond James.
05:59Party on the infield after.
06:00Free beer.
06:01Shots at Purosos.
06:03And we'll have a huge—I mean, we'll have polar plunges and saunas and everything.
06:07So, are you going to come?
06:08Are you in?
06:09I think I'm going to be in.
06:11Fuck yes, dude.
06:12I love that.
06:13I love that.
06:14I love that.
06:1518,000 steps a day is a lot, man.
06:17That's crazy.
06:18I mean, there's some days where I've been hitting 20,000 more often now.
06:26It's like 20,000 would be like—I'll be lucky if I get close to 20,000.
06:30Now it's like I'm hitting 20,000 at least once or twice a week now.
06:3320,000 is like 10 miles.
06:35I think that's 10 miles.
06:37It's almost 10 miles.
06:38Yeah.
06:39You have to get to 22.
06:40Oh, really?
06:41To get to 10.
06:42Five miles is about 11,000 steps.
06:49Yeah.
06:50I have my whoop.
06:52My whoop tracks my steps.
06:55So I'll see how many steps I'm at today.
06:58Today, I'm at 3,000 steps.
07:01Yep.
07:02I've already had a couple other walks.
07:04I'm approaching 14,000.
07:07I don't have any cash, man, so I'm sorry.
07:11You want me to Venmo you?
07:14Oh, yeah.
07:15He's on the level.
07:16But I don't think he—he didn't look like he was in high school.
07:19No, he's not.
07:21Dude, these are the shops right here.
07:24Look at these shirts.
07:26That's the shit, dude.
07:28Red Fox.
07:29No, no.
07:30Look at the ones up there.
07:31You see the ones up top?
07:32Oh, yeah.
07:33Those are bad ass.
07:34You need one of those.
07:36Yeah, I can see myself wearing something like that.
07:38Slick.
07:39Are you going to the game?
07:40No, I'm not.
07:41No?
07:42When do you go back to New York?
07:43I'm going back to New York tomorrow night.
07:44Oh, for real?
07:45Yeah.
07:46So you're just here for a couple days?
07:47Yep, just here for a couple days.
07:48First time ever in New Orleans, actually.
07:50For real?
07:51Yep.
07:52Oh, my God.
07:53I love this city.
07:54I love this city.
07:55First time I ever came to New Orleans, I was 18 years old.
07:58Freshman year of college, and we went to Mardi Gras.
08:01Oh.
08:02And this is when porn wasn't as easy to get a hold of.
08:05So seeing a chick's tits was a big deal.
08:08And chicks were flashing for beads.
08:10And I was like this.
08:11I was 18.
08:13And people would make out with each other for beads.
08:17Oh, it was crazy.
08:18I don't know if they do that anymore.
08:19I don't think they do.
08:21I think that got left behind in the 90s.
08:24Yeah.
08:25But I think Girls Gone Wild killed it.
08:27Yep.
08:28You know where I went a couple times?
08:32I was just turned 18, 19.
08:36I would go to New York when it was still 42nd Street.
08:42Not the Times Square that's tourist trap now.
08:45Yeah, yeah.
08:46Where all you saw was porn shop after porn shop after porn shop.
08:51Oh, wow.
08:52I mean, it was like a red light district all around Times Square.
08:57Like 42nd, 43rd, 44th.
08:59All between 7th Avenue and where the 4th Ward is.
09:04Holy shit.
09:05So, like, everywhere.
09:12Was that?
09:13Yeah.
09:14But record.
09:15We repeat God's judgment.
09:17It's just repeating God's truth.
09:19That all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
09:23Because God has already declared that all have sinned.
09:28I don't see anything controversial in what he's saying.
09:34I was waiting for him to say something wild.
09:37I miss those.
09:38You remember the black Israelites in New York?
09:40Oh, yeah.
09:41They were the fucking best.
09:42I remember going to New York.
09:43I grew up in Tampa.
09:44Going to New York for the first time.
09:46You were just blown away.
09:48People selling you drugs in Washington Square Park going,
09:50smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.
09:52And I was like, oh, no, sir.
09:53I don't smoke.
09:54New York's a crazy place.
09:56I can't imagine being in Times Square back then.
09:59Oh, it was nuts.
10:01It was really nuts.
10:02It was crazy.
10:03It was like, literally, it was like porn theaters.
10:07And then, of course, you had the hookers on the street, too.
10:10And it was a different time.
10:13Have you ever gotten a prostitute?
10:21Never mind.
10:22Next question.
10:27I take the Fifth Amendment.
10:31Sorry, buddy.
10:32I'm working.
10:36I regret never getting a prostitute.
10:40There's a lot I regret.
10:41I regret that I never, like, hooked up with a black chick.
10:45I only slept with, like, six chicks, and they're all white chicks.
10:48You know?
10:49It's kind of like having cheeseburgers your whole life.
10:51Never try spaghetti because you're afraid it's going to get you sick.
10:55Like I said, I remember Times Square when it was a different place.
11:02Look at that.
11:03This town is crazy.
11:05Yep, but I also did a hot dog review.
11:08Oh, you did?
11:09I fucking love hot dogs.
11:10Yeah, that dog, decent dog, but very slow service.
11:14For real?
11:15Oh.
11:16God, I love hot dogs.
11:17What's your favorite version of a hot dog?
11:19Like, I love Chicago dogs.
11:21I'm partial to the Rippers of New Jersey.
11:25Oh, like the...
11:27Rothschild.
11:28Yes, yes.
11:30And if you're ever in New Jersey, stop by Rothschild.
11:33It's 100 years old.
11:34I don't think they've changed the oil in 100 years.
11:37And they just put the hot dog in, the oil's so hot it takes 30 seconds,
11:41and the thing's, like, bursting out of its skin.
11:43For real?
11:44Yes.
11:45Okay.
11:46I'm in.
11:48I'm in.
11:50I'm a telemarketer.
11:51How do telemarketers get my number so often?
11:53You don't like...
11:54I like the ones in...
11:57What's up?
11:58What's up?
11:59How you doing?
12:00What's the...
12:02We were in Detroit.
12:03Detroit's got the...
12:04American in Lafayette.
12:06Yes, and I got $150 worth of hot dogs for the whole crew when we were there.
12:11Oh, wow.
12:12Dude, I love hot dogs.
12:13Now, American, they're both the same hot dog,
12:15it's just I think the people in Lafayette are a little nicer.
12:18Really?
12:19Yes.
12:20God.
12:21But they're basically the same dog.
12:23They're made out of, it's a hot dog company that's in, like, Dearborn, Michigan.
12:30Wow.
12:31And they basically make the same hot dog.
12:35Wait, is that a person?
12:38No, it's a statue.
12:39That's a real statue.
12:40Yes, it is.
12:42No, it's a person.
12:44No, it's not.
12:45Is it a person?
12:46Go touch it.
12:47It's a statue.
12:49See, it's a statue.
12:51Oh, it is a statue.
12:53Oh, that's a statue.
12:55I thought it was just a really good street performer.
12:59Well, if it was, it would have been the greatest statue of all time.
13:02God dang it.
13:04Oh, that's crazy.
13:05I thought that was a person.
13:07God, it's just so hot.
13:10Well, we actually know people who are that hollow, so it doesn't matter.
13:13It doesn't matter.
13:17Well, the special is Lucky.
13:20It's called Lucky.
13:21It's on Netflix.
13:22It's streaming March 18th.
13:23March 18th.
13:24And I think it's my best one yet.
13:27I think so.
13:28Here's what everyone that's seen it says.
13:30I was hearing a story about your daughter having the period party, and you had the boys there,
13:36and you're just, like, laughing at the boys who don't even know what's going on.
13:39Yeah.
13:40Yeah, that kid made me a lot of money.
13:43That kid was a bizarre child.
13:46But, yeah, I was listening to some of your stories.
13:48They were great, and I think everyone's going to be entertained by the newest special, Lucky.
13:53March 18th, Netflix.
13:54Tune in.
13:55Hell yeah.
13:56And I want to thank you for doing this walk.
14:00No, thank you for having me, Frank.
14:01I've been a fan for a while.
14:02Yep.
14:03I remember you came by the office one time.
14:04Yeah.
14:06When Doug was still working with us.
14:08Yep.
14:09I remember that.
14:10And I love everything.
14:12Every time you're online, man, you make me smile.
14:14And I'm so glad you're doing our 5K.
14:16Yes.
14:18Hey.
14:20Yes, yes, yes.
14:23All right.
14:26Thanks again.
14:27Awesome.
14:28That was a perfect way to end.
14:30Yes, it is.
14:31Hell yeah.
14:35Thanks, brother.
14:36All right.
14:37Bye.
14:38Bye.
15:08Bye.
15:09Bye.