Just Like That! is a celebration of comedy genius and much-loved Tommy Cooper.
But nobody could do it just like that apart from the unique Mr. Cooper himself, despite his claim never to have used those words. Was Tommy really Henry Cooper's brother? Can Tommy's performance as Hamlet, clown prince, compare with the greats? Was Tommy a ventriloquist at heart? Rare and classic routines and contributions from famous fans help solve the mystery.
The friends and fans who take part, many of them confirming that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, include Adrian Edmondson, Lenny Henry, Henry Cooper, former Goons Harry Secombe and Spike Milligan, writer Dick Hills, Tommy's brother David Cooper, who has sadly since died, alternative comedian Steve Murray, The Wow Show, and magician Paul Scott. A title montage sequence features further impersonations of the great man from Alexei Sayle, Bob Todd, Patricia Hayes, and Jess Conrad.
But nobody could do it just like that apart from the unique Mr. Cooper himself, despite his claim never to have used those words. Was Tommy really Henry Cooper's brother? Can Tommy's performance as Hamlet, clown prince, compare with the greats? Was Tommy a ventriloquist at heart? Rare and classic routines and contributions from famous fans help solve the mystery.
The friends and fans who take part, many of them confirming that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, include Adrian Edmondson, Lenny Henry, Henry Cooper, former Goons Harry Secombe and Spike Milligan, writer Dick Hills, Tommy's brother David Cooper, who has sadly since died, alternative comedian Steve Murray, The Wow Show, and magician Paul Scott. A title montage sequence features further impersonations of the great man from Alexei Sayle, Bob Todd, Patricia Hayes, and Jess Conrad.
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TVTranscript
00:00Hello, I'm Tommy Cooper. Just like that. Just like that.
00:06You'll have to excuse me. I'm feeling a bit under the weather.
00:09Tennis elbow. Just like that.
00:13Just like that.
00:16Just like that.
00:19Just like that.
00:22Just like that.
00:24Rock and roll.
00:26Just like that.
00:28Just like that.
00:30Just like that.
00:31Just like that.
00:32Just like that.
00:33Just like that.
00:34Just like that.
00:35Just like that.
00:36Just like that.
00:37Just like that.
00:39As I said in the introduction, you're the most impersonated man in Britain.
00:44Now, I must ask you, when was the first time you went, not like that?
00:49I never did.
00:51You never did?
00:53Never said that at all.
00:54Really?
00:55Never.
00:56Do you know that?
00:57Do you know that?
00:58Do you know that?
00:59Do you know that?
01:01Don't do that.
01:02Don't do that.
01:03Don't do that.
01:04Don't do that.
01:05Don't do that.
01:06Don't do that.
01:07Good evening.
01:08My name is Adrian Edmondson.
01:09I was once a comedian.
01:11And I was a lifelong fan of Tommy Cooper's.
01:14Until I went to the Christie's sale.
01:16In which he charged me, as a sort of post-death joke, 280 pounds for this suitcase of rubbish.
01:24I'd just like to show you some of the things that are in here.
01:27Number one, a penetration gag.
01:29I don't know why I'm laughing.
01:39I've got a sore head.
01:41This is a great one for the kids.
01:44Fantastic.
01:46What an effect.
01:47I've always laughed at that one.
02:01A fish in a bow tie.
02:03Always a good one.
02:05I've been to a stag party.
02:12This is one of his better gags that he played on me.
02:16This is a keyboard.
02:19Obviously, as you can see, it's only got eight keys on it.
02:23The rest of them are in here.
02:25There's B-flat, for instance.
02:28One day, I'm going to glue them all together.
02:31Make a fantastic present.
02:35This is a sheet of glass.
02:51Obviously, the joke with the sheet of glass was that he made me pay for it.
03:00Plastic tray!
03:02Full glass tuplet!
03:04I'll tell you what I'm going to do!
03:07What am I shouting?
03:09I'd forgotten about this one.
03:14This is a sort of cooking apron.
03:17Now, I'm sure he never did this one on TV, because underneath there is a sort of rather vulgar representation of the male penis.
03:25Um, flaccid, I imagine.
03:26Well, it's smaller than mine.
03:27Oh, Sally!
03:28Oh, Jack!
03:29You've come back after all these years away at sea!
03:30I mopped that up for a start, haven't I?
03:31Oh, Sally!
03:32Oh, Jack!
03:33You've come back after all these years away at sea!
03:34I mopped that up for a start, haven't I?
03:35Why didn't you?
03:36Why didn't you tell me you know I was doing the wrong?
03:37Why didn't you tell me you know I was doing the wrong?
03:42Why didn't you tell me?
03:43Why didn't you tell me you know I was doing the wrong?
03:44Why didn't you tell me you know I was doing the wrong?
03:49So....
03:51Jack?
03:53After all these years away at sea you've come back to me.
04:05Oh, Jack, Jack!
04:07Is it really you, Jack?
04:09No, my name's Fred.
04:15This is one of his better gags. This is the rings joke.
04:19In this gag, you would have three rings,
04:23and they would become inextricably linked,
04:26and then you would be able to get them apart again.
04:29Unfortunately, he just gave me the one,
04:32so there's not really much of a joke to that.
04:35Look at that!
04:45Now, to get them apart, I saw you do, you'd get a little shake like this,
04:55and they'd drop apart in front of your very eyes.
05:05They'd drop apart in front of your...
05:09This, in proportion to the amount of stuff I got for 280 quid at the Tommy Cooper sale,
05:14this must be worth about £6.
05:17It's a bit of card covered in brown paper.
05:24And that's about as funny as it gets.
05:29And I'd like to show a photograph now of the famous escapologist Houdini.
05:33Look at that, he's got away again.
05:37Now, this is one of his best gags.
05:40You see, this looks just like a block of wood,
05:43but...
05:45Ha, ha, ha, just like that,
05:46it is really a block of wood.
05:48Ha! And so is this.
05:49Zzz, zzz, zzz, zzzh, zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz.
05:58The keys...
06:00...a wooden hammer...
06:02...a ping pong ball.
06:04Here's a little chip, no, the cup and boar. Here's the cup, here's the boar.
06:08Boar, cup, cup, boar, boar, cup, cup, boar.
06:11Cup, boar, boar, cup, cup, boar.
06:15Solid back, solid there like that.
06:17Just push it through there like that, all right?
06:23Now, this is rather interesting.
06:25This is a box.
06:28Has six on the front.
06:29It becomes a dice.
06:31It becomes absolutely nothing at all.
06:34And that's what's so amazing about the man.
06:36He could make funny things out of absolutely nothing at all.
06:42I'll offer his empty paper bag and will I produce a live pigeon?
06:54Some more keys.
06:57A handle to something quite inappropriate.
06:59A plastic glass.
07:01Another one.
07:01The end of a trumpet.
07:02A glass, a watch with no workings.
07:10Who knows what it could have been?
07:13Something with a bit of string.
07:14I've opened this before and I can't remember what it was because it was so uninteresting.
07:24But it is actually only a roll of silk.
07:30Who knows what comedy ensued as he rolled this out on the stage?
07:35Which is very, very close.
07:38What?
07:38What do you mean, come off?
07:40I just come on.
07:41I don't know why I did that.
07:53I don't know why I did that.
07:55I don't know why I did that.
07:59And finally, a small plastic fish.
08:04And the other thing that came in the extraordinary sale was this fantastic rabbit producing mangle.
08:15I don't know why I did that.
08:16I don't know why I did that.
08:17The rabbits didn't come with it.
08:19Obviously, the rabbit went in somewhere here.
08:24There's a few hinges.
08:27Rabbit in there.
08:29Tommy in here.
08:30And the sexy assistant came out of here.
08:57Empty!
08:58Empty!
08:59Empty!
09:01Well, I'll show him for you.
09:06Oh!
09:18It's dark in there.
09:20Keep going, you fool.
09:21Keep going.
09:24That's it!
09:24Tommy Cooper.
09:26What a genius.
09:30Tommy Cooper.
09:32What a genius.
09:36Tommy Cooper.
09:37What a genius.
09:51Tommy Cooper.
09:52What a genius.
09:53Now, welcome once again to another pretty grotesque chapter in the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the story of the
10:23tommy cooper story and this time we're dealing with tom's school days now what was life like
10:30a cheesy grammar tom well it was the happiest time of my life ah any particular reason yeah it was a
10:36girl school you know tommy was an older brother so he was always that much older but um we all he
10:45always insisted that we wear fesses so we always had to wear fesses and we were always the funny
10:50kids in neighborhood we always people used to laugh at us so me and my brother my younger brother
10:55we started boxing but tommy for some reason was never interested in boxing so but we had to take
11:00up boxing because they kept laughing as we're walking around in these fesses all the time to do
11:04the shirt trick ladies and gentlemen that popular duo tommy cooper and henry cooper the ex heavyweight
11:10champion in the shirt trick
11:27expensive shirt
11:29Yeah, I was going to America to box in Madison Square Garden, and Tommy was going to be on
11:45the Ed Sullivan Show. Well, as we get off the plane for some reason, I get into a taxi,
11:49and they take me to the studio, and they take poor old Tommy to Madison Square Garden. So
11:55when they get Tommy there, they say, come on, then, you've got to change. And he thinks,
11:59well, that's strange change. I like to do, you know, the show. I can't think of that.
12:02Anyway, they get him on the table, and they want to massage him, and they want to do this
12:08to him. Or what they do, they want to tape his hands. And Tommy's going, well, mate, what's
12:12all this for? What, the Ed Sullivan Show? Do you know, I was in the ring much for Cassius
12:16Clay. Go on. No, really, I'm alone. I was, yes. And I got him worried. I did. He thought
12:22he killed me. Go on.
12:29He came in like that. I know it was like that.
12:36Perhaps we do look a little bit alike, I suppose, especially with a fez on, but, and we went
12:40to the same barbers, I think, you know. But no, there's no relation, really, but no, we
12:47just have the same family name, which is, which was great for me, yeah.
12:50I'm going to take your shirt off. It's an handmade shirt. Yes, I'm going to take it
12:54off without taking the coat off. Okay. Right? Yeah. I've done this for a long time.
13:00How long?
13:04You all right?
13:05Okay.
13:11Good.
13:12You all right, sir?
13:13The other thing about Tommy was he came from, from a tradition of service comics. A lot of
13:36us, uh, in the services and found that we had a kind of talent to amuse people, uh, through
13:43being in the army, because you had to entertain your, your, your, fellow soldiers.
13:46When I joined, when I joined this lot, you see, the major said for me, can it? And he said
13:51to me, would you like a commission? And I said, no, just a regular salary.
13:57You were actually in the horse guards, weren't you?
13:59That's right.
13:59Yeah. Now, what was that like?
14:01Very good.
14:02You enjoyed it?
14:02Yes. Yes.
14:03I was in the horse guards and, uh, we were on the canvas, on the canvas there, you see.
14:09And then we used to go up and gallop over the mountains and then up the other mountain
14:14and down and over the waters, through the fences and gallop along the fields, and over
14:21the mountain again and straight on his back to camp. And next day I went out again and I
14:26took a horse with me.
14:27And, and the goonery, we were always, uh, hacking away at the feet of the establishment.
14:35And I think he did the same thing. Although he was, he was essentially visual and we were
14:38obviously, uh, oral. Good word, then.
14:43Sit down.
14:44I, um, you see, when you, when you get on a horse, I, as a recruit, I didn't know this,
15:04but when you put the girth around the horse like that, see, the horse, it's true, it blows
15:21itself out because it doesn't want to be tight.
15:23Right.
15:24See, so you've got to wait. Well, I didn't know this, but what are you supposed to do
15:28is just wait for a little while. And, and, cause he still looks at you like that really.
15:33Cause he's, he's, he's a little bit suspicious, you know what I mean? But he's, but then all
15:39of a sudden you could have got quick and he goes, oh, but I didn't know this. So as a recruit,
15:47I just went, not that with a girth, well, he blew, he went out with his stomach and I thought
15:51it was tight. So we're all on parade. And he said, right in front of your horses, will
15:55you do that? He said, right, prepare to mount. So we put your foot in the stir. And they said,
15:59mount. And I put my foot in and the saddle went right underneath. So everybody said, on
16:05top, arm, right underneath, like that.
16:10Can you imagine him at Whitehall on a horse dressed as a lifeguard? I mean, we were near
16:17to losing. I mean, that sort of thing could have lost us the war. You'd only have to send
16:23Hitler. His photograph on a horse in Whitehall and Hitler would say, it's all over. They've
16:30given him. Even the horse looked better than him.
16:35...which have all been waiting for, the star of our show, the one and only Prince of Denmark,
16:39Mark. Your own, your very own, Hamlet!
16:51Ha, ha, ha.
16:56A funny thing happened to him on the way here tonight.
17:02Alas, poor York, I knew him well. He went to a dance the other night, sat all by himself
17:09in the corner. He's got nobody to dance with.
17:13I think his big break came when he went like Harry Seacombe, Alfred Marks, Michael Benteen,
17:19Tony Hancock. They all came out of the army somehow. And somehow, by a great mind, they
17:25all ended up at the windmill. You could, when Tommy appeared there, you could tell the difference
17:32because he had clothes on.
17:34Now, here's another one. Here's another one. Look, here we go. Two flies! Two flies! Two flies!
17:46Flies! Two flies! Flies! Flies! We're playing football, see, in the saucer, and one said to
17:56the other, keep it up, son. Tomorrow we're playing in the cup.
18:01Thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you.
18:07Alas, poor York, I knew him well. No wonder he died at death.
18:13To gee or not to gee. No, I mean...
18:17To be or not to be. That is the question.
18:22Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes.
18:28That'd have been a bad luck yesterday.
18:33I was pinned for parking. I said to the officer, I said, well, I'm in a cul-de-sac.
18:37He said, I don't care what kind of car it is. You can't park here.
18:40When he came in to do a club act, all the men there knew they were better looking than him.
18:46They had better figures. They could talk better.
18:49So he was... They just immediately fell for him right away.
18:52That poor sod. He looks like that.
18:55And to make it worse, he has to do comedy to draw attention to himself.
18:59Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. You were a wonderful audience.
19:02And before I go, I want to sing you a little song, which I wrote on the back of a bus.
19:06Because I didn't read any paper at the time.
19:08Thank you, Maestro.
19:10Oh, oh, oh, I feel ya. I like Cecilia. Your heart's awake. More to me than Delia.
19:25A sweet Cecilia. I've had a day. Oh, oh, oh, Cecilia. I think you're really so very sweet.
19:38What a slap-up, Melia. A jellig, Elia. That ain't goody. Dance.
20:01You know, he was known as the comedian's comedian.
20:04And I suspect that professionals liked him because in a profession,
20:09a profession which requires this rigid discipline and careful rehearsal and accurate timing,
20:16Tommy always looked as if he'd just been pushed on the stage
20:19and didn't know what was going to happen next.
20:23Say hello to everybody. Right, here we go. Say hello. That's it.
20:29Say hello.
20:32Say hello.
20:33Say hello.
20:34Say hello.
20:35Say hello.
20:47Say hello.
20:48Say hello.
20:49Come on.
20:51What are you going to sing, then?
20:53What are you going to sing?
20:57I can't find the strings
21:03We're going to sing guide, guide, blues
21:07Here we go then
21:15Guide, guide, blues
21:18Guide, guide, blues
21:21You warm to him because he looked the sort of amateur
21:26That was trying to fumble his way through
21:29Night! Night, blues
21:45All right, very nice
21:50You go to bed now
21:56You go to bed now
22:05Say goodnight, innit?
22:09Get in there
22:13Get in there
22:17Get in there
22:18You go to bed now
22:24You want to sing one more song, huh?
22:26One more song
22:30The two great things about Tommy was that
22:44One, he experienced an enormous amount of pain through just performing
23:01I mean, a lot of his jokes were about the fact that he got hurt
23:04And two, was the audacity of being so bad
23:09I meant to ask that
23:12Do not act
23:13Ha, ha, ha
23:13Ha, ha, ha
23:16Ha, ha
23:19Ha, ha
23:22Ha, ha
23:26Ha, ha
23:31a lot of people do puns and they did them very badly but his puns were were fantastic you know
23:57I went to a doctor so I've got three minutes live what you can give me a boiled egg you know I mean
24:02it's it's just stupid it's just stupid if I mean I deliver that and it's not very funny but if he
24:08did it it was very funny because he had the sort of guts to make it funny to not be embarrassed about
24:17how bad a joke it was and just to do it I was clean up the attic last week with a wife filthy dirty
24:27covered in cobwebs but she's good to the kids and I found this old violin there's old and this painting
24:43all painted so I took them to an expert and he said to me what you've got there you've got a
24:49Stradivarius and a Rembrandt unfortunately Stradivarius was a terrible painter
25:02and red bun made rotten violin thank you very much good evening well that's a rehearsed bit
25:16from now on it's downhill actually now Tommy Cooper was known to millions of viewers throughout the
25:22world as a mad magician a man whose tricks went wrong but there was no other side to Tommy
25:29you know which was the dedicated magician a man who loved his magic and loved to collect pocket
25:36tricks and a great exponent of the art of sleight of hand here's a little trick now watch very closely
25:41look the red haggard is there like that and you go like that there and you go place it inside the
25:47head like that here right there like that say the magic word to myself because it's a bad word
25:51isn't there like that but look at that thank you thank you very much that makes his way into the tin here
26:05hey I'll tell you what I'll take this one and this one put them both in your hand like that and just
26:14hold it there like that I'll tell you what I take one here look is it possible to make that one jump
26:18from there to over there no no I'll put it in there like that see it go boom boom open your hand
26:23I told you I sure have it's done see what you do is this you get this one and this one and put hold
26:37them tight you know there's two but it makes it look like one say you wave it about like that see
26:43and then you put it in there like that get this one and you put in your pocket so everything's in
26:48there too no you weren't watching now tell me I'll take this one and this one here
27:04have you got one of my balls no oh here it is there all right now which two would you like
27:22those two right there are two largest ones right so put those there like that now I'll take this one
27:31this one and put them in your hand like that see hold them tight right it's all right did you see
27:39it did you feel I had something yeah I've got two balls yeah you got two balls right yeah how many
27:48will you say three two all right open your hand you know Tony Cooper was just as funny off as he was on
27:59and that really was funny he was funny as soon as he came on he didn't have to say anything he was
28:05just funny Tommy Cooper yeah I were fabulous Tommy he was really funny man he really was one of the
28:11funniest men in the business he was very very funny man he was so funny it's very funny it's very funny
28:18never met him he was a funny man a funny funny man he wasn't a comedian's comedian he was a comedian's
28:26comedian's comedian a very funny man Tommy Cooper Tommy Cooper what's Tommy Cooper ever done for me
28:32that's what I'd like to know hey what's he ever listen I could tell you some things that'll blow the
28:36lid right off this it'll blow it wide open but I won't like because I respect him too much and I'm a
28:40professional and and I'm not bitter I'm not bitter that he made it and I didn't I'm not bitter
28:45absolutely right you're a professional this is Bernie Cosmos mind reader extraordinaire
28:50I think lovely I'd like to now introduce you to this man he's a singer and he plays an instrument
28:59and he's some people say he's a vert you also
29:08but personally I don't care what he does when he's not on the stage
29:15but here he is now I don't know what he's like must be had to Bob Blackburn
29:22Jockburn
29:29he will change
29:31glippity-clopping
29:32through the wind and rain
29:33seems as how they'll never stop
29:34glippity-clap glippity-clippity-clippity glippity-clamping along
29:37G���leist
29:41glippity-clap
29:42glippity-clopping
29:43glippity-clopping through the wind and the rain
29:46seems as how they'll never stop
29:48Never stop, glibbity-clop, glibbity-clibbity-clibbity-clibbity-clopping along.
29:55There's a letter full of sadly-sadded luck around the corner,
29:58a pair of boots for someone who'll have the mate to order,
30:01a Bible in a pack for Reverend Mr. Black.
30:07Get along, you'll get along.
30:12You didn't know Tommy Cooper, you never even met him.
30:18What?
30:19You never met Tommy Cooper.
30:20Well, no, not in the strict sense of the word, Bernie.
30:23I don't mind reading act right.
30:25Tommy Cooper nicked my act, word thought for thought.
30:29How? How could he nick your act?
30:32You didn't know him and neither did you.
30:33I knew Tommy Cooper, didn't we? Yes.
30:35And he had a piece of paper with a list of people on it he'd never met,
30:38and you two are on it.
30:40It's a hat.
30:42This is the original guillotine used by Tommy on the Michael Parkinson show.
30:50We saved it from being chopped up,
30:52and it now belongs to the British Magical Society.
30:55Let's just prove whether it still works.
30:57I've just got a rest in this.
31:13You just put your head in there.
31:14I was frightened about this in a minute.
31:30Oh!
31:35Are you sure about this, Tommy?
31:36Yeah, just kneel down and rest your head on there.
31:39Right in.
31:40It's very good with dandruff.
31:44I'm not getting you going to chuckle all of this.
31:47As a matter of fact, you're a laughing head off.
31:51Let's put that down like that, you see.
31:54Is it all right?
31:55It's charming, yeah.
31:56It's good.
31:57Okay?
31:58Yeah.
31:58Right.
31:59Now, what size is your collar?
32:02Sixteen.
32:03Sixteen.
32:03Give me a sixteen bucket, will you?
32:14Oh, my God.
32:15There's blood on this.
32:18Are you all right?
32:19No.
32:21Oh, you're laughing.
32:23Here's a fan letter for you.
32:28All right?
32:29I'll put it in there.
32:29You can read it out.
32:38A lot of friends would love this.
32:40Russell Hardy.
32:44Are you ready?
32:45Oh, God.
32:46Yes, let's do it.
32:49Look at that.
32:57Nod your hair a bit.
33:00Here we are.
33:01How's that?
33:02I never thought I'd survive it.
33:03Oh, my God.
33:06Henry Cooper was my cousin.
33:09And we used to do shows together when we were kids, right?
33:12Didn't we?
33:12That's right.
33:12Hey, you used to.
33:13Oh, yeah.
33:14So, God bless him.
33:15Oh, that's not funny.
33:16Look.
33:17See, it's not funny.
33:18See, it's not funny.
33:19It's not funny at all.
33:19He's got a funny now.
33:20And when we were kids, we used to do shows, and I had a catchphrase, and I gave it to him.
33:24I said, if you do this, if you put your hands out like this and say, brush your teeth side to side, up and down, open wide.
33:34I said, what?
33:35I said, what?
33:35I said, what?
33:35I don't think I used to do that.
33:37I said, what?
33:38I said, what?
33:39I said, what?
33:40So, it's a repeating pattern, isn't it?
33:42I mean, like, Cooper used to go like that, and there was thousands of years ago, a bloke went like that, a comedian, Jesus Christ, used to do that.
33:51But, of course, he had a big following, probably bigger than Tommy.
33:54He wasn't a very big bloke, though.
33:55I think the diet was different in those days, wasn't it?
33:58I think it's probably a lot to do with it.
33:59But, yeah, that, that.
34:01And, of course, Pope, he goes like that.
34:03And he's got a big following, as well.
34:05I don't know what his wages are.
34:07Here's a little trick now you may not have seen.
34:09Look, two pieces of paper like that.
34:11And roll them in the hair like that.
34:12Yeah.
34:21Now, I'll let you show you.
34:33I'll let you show you.
35:03I'll let you show you.
35:33I'll let you show you.
36:03I'll let you show you some souvenirs I bought from different places I've been to.
36:05I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:07I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:10Why have I got the axe on my head?
36:11Well, it's a prop, isn't it?
36:13You see, if you've got a, you've got a flow going, everything's fine, people are coming up, they're listening, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
36:19But then you stop, they've got something to look at, haven't they?
36:22I'd like to show you some souvenirs I bought from different places I've been to.
36:30I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:32I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:34I'll let you show you some souvenirs I've got a little bit of a hat.
36:36I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:38I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:42I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:44I got a hat on my face.
36:48I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:54I'll let you show you some souvenirs.
36:55All right, it doesn't fit.
36:58I went to the doctor.
37:01I said, Doctor, what's the matter with me?
37:08What's the matter with me? He said, you're sick. I said, what a second opinion. He said, you're bloody ugly as well.
37:13And I went to the doctor. He said to me, open your mouth. So I went like that.
37:18And he looked down. He said, a little raw.
37:20So I went, urgh.
37:27So, I went to this doctor.
37:31Look at that, I'm leaking.
37:34I went to this doctor. I said, it hurts me when I do that.
37:37He said, well, don't do it.
37:40I want you another doctor. Different doctor.
37:44I said, doctor.
37:47I've forgotten him.
37:53It doesn't matter.
37:55It doesn't matter. This is one of the first impressions I ever did.
37:58There's a picture of me in the local paper at the Express and Star.
38:03It's the Express and Star in Dudley in the West Midlands.
38:05And I made a fez out of velvet or something.
38:10And I'm standing there.
38:11It's a picture of me in a really terrible shirt with those big round collars and a stupid stripy tank top.
38:17And like 70s, like really big baggy trousers with the pockets conveniently placed just on your ankle.
38:22And I'm standing there like that in front of the classroom.
38:24And it was one of the...
38:25He was the...
38:25It was sort of an easy voice to do because it was just that kind of, like, faggot.
38:29And funny enough...
38:35Is it funny enough?
38:36Yeah, funny enough.
38:42I caught up laughing. I don't know what's coming next.
38:43Tommy Cooper's act started off stage.
38:48And it was in a complete blackout in the...
38:50You know, it's, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome.
38:52And then it would be completely dark and you'd hear this...
38:56And everybody would start laughing.
38:59I mean, if you could start just by breathing out, that's good.
39:02I mean, you know, if you can get a big laugh just by breathing out, I mean, that is serious comedy.
39:06You know what I mean?
39:06And then he'd hear, it's dark in here.
39:14All the lights have gone out.
39:17I don't know where I am.
39:20Hang on, I'll open the door.
39:24It's dark in here as well.
39:27There's all these...
39:28Hang on a minute, there's all these jackets hanging around.
39:32What are my jackets doing in the...
39:33Hang on a minute, I'm in the wardrobe.
39:36That's better.
39:38It's dark in here.
39:39Just keep going on and on and on.
39:41And then he'd start telling jokes in the dark.
39:43So the audience is in the dark, listening to the...
39:45It's like a radio show, you know.
39:47And he'd say things like, I get really forgetful.
39:50This morning, I cut myself shaving and I forgot to bleed.
39:55I was at Margate last summer for the summer season.
39:58A friend of mine said, you want to go to Margate, it's good for arithmetism.
40:00So I did and I got it.
40:01And I tried to get in the hotel, it was packed.
40:10So I went to this big boarding house.
40:12And I knocked it at the door, the landlady put her head up the window.
40:14She said, what do you want?
40:14I said, I want to stay here.
40:15She said, I want to stay there and shut the window.
40:16This timing, it was immaculate.
40:22It was like a finely honed razor or a beautiful piece by Chopin.
40:29It was so magically correct.
40:32There's only one split second in the moment of time when a joke is right.
40:36Go left or right of that and it doesn't happen.
40:39And he hit it bullseye every time.
40:43He was born with it.
40:45He tried to get rid of it, went and told doctors,
40:47but he couldn't get rid of this proper timing.
40:51And while I was there, I bought one of these skin diving outfits.
40:54Let me see it like a frogman suit.
40:56I bought the whole thing, you know, toggles, big flippers,
41:00tank on the back.
41:02And I had a photograph taken like that and like that.
41:06Well, you never know, do you?
41:06You never know.
41:08And I went to the bay and I jumped in,
41:10because you're not supposed to dive in, it's dangerous.
41:11And I jumped in like that.
41:15And I think I'd turn a little bit.
41:16I'll wake up.
41:21And I went down to about 155 feet.
41:24It was lovely, very quiet.
41:28And I'm going along like that.
41:29I've got the instructions here.
41:44And I get rid of it, but I'll start to do that like that.
41:50And the feet are going like that.
41:53Not in the front, in the back.
41:54And I'm good at it.
41:59And I don't care now, you know what I mean?
42:03I'm all over the place.
42:06And the goggles are getting all misty.
42:08And I'm humming to myself.
42:13Not loud, just...
42:14And all of a sudden, I saw a man walking towards me.
42:22In a sports jacket, grey flannel.
42:27I thought, that's unusual for a Thursday.
42:31So I went towards there, I'm going to move like that.
42:34Went to the floor.
42:36And I got right up to him, I took this pad out,
42:38and I wrote to him, what are you doing down here?
42:40Walking about in a sports jacket, grey flannel.
42:42And he took this pad from me, and he wrote on there, I'm drowned.
42:53When God made him, he got it wrong.
42:56I mean, his face looked as if it's been pulled inside out.
43:06That's what it was like, this.
43:08And the body, as I said, was an afterthought, you know.
43:14I mean, if he was a self-made man, he made a terrible job of it.
43:17I mean, his face looked like that.
43:32Cheers!
43:38No wonder I kept getting lost.
43:40I can't hear myself.
43:54How's that?
43:55That's right.
43:57Yes?
43:58I'm an abstract comedian, so my type of comedy is...
44:04Two vicars knock at a door.
44:07They've got dog collars on.
44:09But they've got stocking masks on.
44:11They knock on the door and the door opens up and says,
44:13Yes?
44:14And these two both say,
44:15We are Jehovah Bertilus.
44:17He says, Yes, we are being persecuted by the police for our beliefs.
44:22He says, What are your beliefs?
44:24He says, We believe you've got a lot of money in this house.
44:28That's my style, you know.
44:30That is my style of comedy.
44:31Totally insane.
44:32But he runs parallel Whitney, but he's a droll.
44:35He's an absolute clown droll.
44:46See that?
44:48This one's just a saver.
44:55No track doors!
44:57It is a good news!
44:58The end of the woods!
45:00Oh, wait!
45:02Oh yes!
46:34It's a stunt duck, and as you can see, the mouth is like that, not like that, like that.
46:40And it will pick a card from a pack of cards.
46:44Now, put the cards in this.
46:45Now, this duck will take your chosen card from their pack.
46:57Now, this duck will take your chosen card from their pack.
47:11Now, you may have seen a duck with that before, but be fair.
47:15What was your card?
47:27What was your card?
47:29I used to like that, all that stuff, because it was just weird.
47:39It was really surreal as well.
47:41You know, if you watch a lot of his stuff, it was very strange, and there was no one around
47:46I mean, if you took an alternative, that was alternative.
47:48Oh, don't cry.
48:05Oh, don't cry.
48:11Oh, don't cry.
48:14Oh, don't cry.
48:24Now, I can lose!
48:37Hoppa!
48:39I can lose!
48:42I'm so sorry!
48:54I can only end by saying he was one of the greatest clowns the world must have ever known.
49:00There's nothing like him since.
49:02Many comics have died, but he left a vacuum.
49:06He had the balls to go on TV and do stuff that was just so odd.
49:10That's why when he died on Live at Her Majesty's, people thought it was a joke.
49:14You know, I mean, I saw him when he was ill and people thought,
49:16he leaned on the table and he said,
49:19I don't feel well, and everybody just fell on the floor.
49:22A lot of people say they knew where they were when Kennedy was assassinated,
49:26and I think those of us in the profession will know where we were when Tommy died.
49:30I was watching television.
49:32He must have been.
49:33Everybody who saw him start again.
49:36I was watching there when, you know, he seemed to slump down and go backwards,
49:41and I'm thinking, well, that's a funny ending to a show
49:44because you could never know with Tommy because Tommy was a great ad-libber.
49:48He was doing very well, I thought.
49:49I was laughing away as I always do.
49:52And suddenly that gown was, that embroidered Chinese Mandarin coat was put on him,
49:58and he fell.
49:59And I said to him, and he's dead because he fell gracefully,
50:02and he was never graceful ever, Tom.
50:05And suddenly he fell down, and I thought that was it.
50:07I mean, if there's a way of going, let's, please God, we can all go that way.
50:11Can't we doing something that we loved?
50:13He was in front of his public.
50:14He was act, doing his act.
50:16He was going down marvellously, and there he finished.
50:19It was part of my life, and also it seemed to be effortless with him.
50:22He made it look easy.
50:24You know, I mean, that's the thing about doing Tommy Cooper.
50:26Everybody thought, well, it's easy.
50:27Anybody could walk around and do that, you know.
50:30And that was, he made, he got all the tricks wrong, and he told all these dumb jokes,
50:35and it was an easy thing to copy.
50:37You know, I mean, you saw it.
50:38We've been watching tapes and laughing.
50:39I mean, you know, I said, it hurts when I go like that.
50:42He said, well, don't do it.
50:43You know, I mean, it's like, what?
50:45But it's, that's not the trick.
50:47The same with Steve Martin.
50:48The trick is that the bloke, he's funny, not the joke.
50:51Ha!
50:52I mean!
50:53I mean!
50:54Oh, ha!
50:55I mean!
50:56Please say, you see, I'm nice.
50:58Help yourself do a slide, oh, ha!
51:00I mean!
51:01Hey!
51:02Thank you!
51:03Come on, come on, come on, come on!
51:17Come on!
51:18Come on!
51:20Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!