Dave & Chuck the Freak talk to Dave's mom live from Florida to check-in on the "senior spring breakers", and find out she has been telling Dave's aunt about dirty things that happen in her erotica novels.
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00:00uh if you've been listening to the show over the past week or so you know that i uh sent my parents
00:07and my aunt down to florida to be with our florida listeners and uh escape the winter here
00:14and kind of enjoy a little bit uh you know warmer weather so i figured we'd check in to see how it's
00:20been going with the senior spring breakers if we can get my mom on the phone here let's see if we
00:25can join her hi mom hello my son how are you i am good mom how are you doing well you know i watched
00:35the most beautiful sunrise it was gorgeous oh i'm just sitting here looking at the waves and
00:42oh it's gorgeous david yeah so you're having a nice time we're having an absolutely great time
00:48thanks to you uh so listen here's my question a couple of things we need to go over first of all
00:54dear god what is it mom uh you know i know that you uh got yourself a lot of books and stuff to
01:01read down there on your kindle uh we've talked about it on the show several times are you still
01:05don't tell me you've been reading my dirty books no i haven't been reading them but i've been reading
01:11the titles of them well yes and i worried a lot about that at first and then it just i said look
01:18you know what yeah who cares i'm gonna read these books and they'll with it
01:26they bring me joy they bring me joy exactly and i've learned so many things oh which i'm not
01:37trying to fill aunt diana and she's shocked oh my god you're sharing the tales of the dirty books
01:45yeah they do all those things she hasn't a clue
01:50i want to hear that conversation oh my god oh lord my mom telling my aunt
01:59okay can you what kind of thing but remember you're on the radio what kind of thing do they
02:05do like what are you telling aunt anne about oh dear david i've told her a lot of things i don't
02:11think i could say them over the years
02:12a lot of bondage stuff okay she didn't know that females shaved their yahoos
02:27she didn't know they shaved their yahoos
02:29she did not she didn't know females shaved their yahoos
02:36no and she was shocked to death that they've done it to their bums as well
02:42oh my god my god my god no no go stop it stop it stop it stop it
02:49yes yes david i had to sort of fill her in and educate her on those three things
02:56oh yeah she didn't know
02:59no she didn't know
03:01oh my god so i know way too much about my aunt now that is unfortunate
03:07david will probably tell me when she wakes up you know what she's like
03:11the holy terror with her temper and all
03:14but she's my best friend
03:17so you share butt shaving with her
03:22well i mean that'll that'll you know liven her up
03:25oh wow you yeah that's that's the like least dirty thing i think you could tell her about
03:30oh listen listen i've told her things let me tell you
03:35shocked her shocked and stunned
03:38okay what else what else have you learned from your dirty books that you've shared with aunt and
03:43remember we're on the radio you got to be like a radio friendly version of it
03:46that's what i mean how can i say the thing
03:48well you can get a you can use different words
03:50like yahoo or whatever you call it
03:53uh-huh if i said oh i have to say it right
03:58yeah
03:58uh anal
04:01oh god
04:02oh my god
04:04that's not another word
04:06that's the word
04:08that isn't the other word
04:11oh my god
04:12but you can say that
04:13she didn't say what is happening
04:14she didn't say what's happening
04:16so that shocked her too
04:18baby i don't know where i swear to you but i don't know where she's been living
04:22you see she watches all the you know like the young and the restless and all
04:30right you're a bit more advanced
04:31i'm busy reading and catching up and everything
04:34so you obviously don't listen to our show too often because you would have you would have learned a lot more
04:40everything
04:40yeah
04:41oh well i listened to it one day and it was like the most disgusting thing
04:45yes
04:48i mean this guy this guy had phoned down usually said words the most strangest place you'd like to have sex
04:55uh-huh
04:56do you want me to go on with it
04:58well what happened
04:59where did he say
05:00he said he'd like to be sitting on the toilet taking a dump
05:04oh
05:04oh yeah yeah yeah that one
05:06and his girlfriend
05:07night
05:08come on
05:09yeah
05:10yeah we know
05:11we know
05:12that's called
05:13yeah
05:13that was
05:14that was terrible
05:15that's called a blumpkin
05:16yeah
05:17it's a blumpkin
05:17oh is that right
05:19yes
05:19it's like a
05:20like a pumpkin
05:21there's a word
05:22but it's bl
05:23blumpkin
05:24oh my god i'll remember that name to tell our name
05:28yes
05:28tell our name
05:30you'll blow her mind
05:31oh my sweet aunt's mind
05:33she'll blow a fuse
05:35has there been anything else that's blown your mind that we linda had no idea this happened in the world
05:43hi can i do this
05:45i mean no this is this is something no people would be thinking i'm a
05:49what are my
05:51sex
05:52machine
05:54i don't know
05:54okay
05:54all right
05:55okay
05:56i mean this is this is something that i didn't know
06:01existed in the world
06:03oh my god
06:04maybe it's just in the book world
06:05what is it
06:06it is now you asked for it
06:08i want to tell you
06:09oh my god
06:10listen you know i love you so don't hold it against me
06:14oh no
06:14um
06:15two guys
06:17two guys
06:18two guys
06:18uh-huh
06:19uh-huh
06:20at the same time
06:22with a woman
06:23yeah
06:24at the same time
06:26oh jeez
06:27in the same place
06:28oh my god
06:30the dp
06:32she's talking dp
06:33yeah
06:33but in the same
06:34in the same
06:36yeah two in the same
06:37two in the same
06:37two in the front
06:38parking two cars in a one car garage
06:40yeah
06:41yes exactly
06:43who said that
06:44james
06:44james
06:45james
06:45james you understand these things
06:47100%
06:48i know all about the dp
06:52okay
06:53he does
06:55he does
06:55uh
06:56listen mom
06:57we thank you for taking the time to speak to us
06:59and
07:00oh love
07:01it was funny
07:01i enjoyed it
07:02i enjoyed it
07:04i hope it didn't shock you too much
07:05well a little bit
07:06a little bit with the dp and the anal
07:08but outside of that
07:09outside of that
07:10oh love
07:10sorry
07:11it's nothing
07:11i'm just
07:12i'm just reading about it
07:14i'm not actually you know
07:15okay thank you
07:16thank you so much
07:16uh i just
07:17you're gonna blow
07:18aunt dan's wee mind
07:20when she wakes up today
07:21the blumpkin
07:21the blumpkin
07:22you gotta tell her about that
07:23you give her a little education later
07:24and then uh
07:26i will
07:26i will
07:27all right
07:28will you guys be safe
07:29and have fun the rest of your time there
07:30thanks love
07:31all right
07:32i'll talk to you later in the week
07:33bye
07:33okay bye everybody
07:35bye
07:35bye bye
07:36bye bye
07:36have fun
07:37all right
07:38there we go
07:39there's my mom
07:40live in florida
07:41she's great
07:42that was a rollercoaster
07:43she is
07:44they're killing it down there
07:45yeah
07:45she's one of the funniest people
07:47like
07:48like ever
07:49just not trying to be funny
07:51she's naturally
07:52that's how she naturally is
07:53funniest people
07:54yeah
07:55she's quick
07:56yeah
07:57you just like sit and wait
07:59oh no
08:00my
08:01when she was gonna tell us
08:02that one thing
08:03that she
08:03oh my god
08:05my heart was
08:05if you hadn't taken my heartbeat
08:07i just
08:07would have been through the roof
08:08how do i put this
08:10anal
08:11that's like one of my favorite things
08:16that's how she edited
08:18because i don't know if i can say
08:21oh well you're asking me fine
08:22then i guess
08:23i'd have to say
08:24anal
08:25i just love
08:30your auntie ann
08:32getting her mind blown
08:33constantly
08:34constantly
08:34oh my god
08:35she didn't know about grooming
08:37no
08:37she didn't know
08:38that's crazy
08:39no
08:39they're shaving their bums
08:40she said why
08:42she said why
08:43that's amazing
08:44but why would they do that
08:45why would they shave their bums
08:46she told the men to it
08:48she's like
08:48well why would they
08:50even think about it
08:51god i don't even want to know
08:52my poor wee aunt
08:53it's gonna blow her
08:5478 year old mind
08:56she's like
08:56put some ham in the coffee pot
08:58and i got something to tell you
08:59you better sit down
09:02i love that your mom has read stuff
09:04and then had to go take nerve pills
09:06i'm gonna tell you about a blumpkin today
09:15here's the wee tale of a blumpkin
09:18here's the pill
09:18here's the nerve pill
09:19annie come sit right down
09:21i made you a wee cup of tea
09:23and we're gonna talk
09:24i'll tell you what
09:25lisa
09:26lisa would have the time of her life
09:28at a tea party
09:29with aunt ann
09:30oh my god
09:30and dave's mom
09:32oh i'd love it
09:32she's awesome
09:33she is
09:34she's something else
09:35but i'm glad they're alive
09:38they're doing okay down there
09:40it's so funny
09:41but let's hope
09:42the next little week and a half
09:43goes all right
09:44no more cheese in the air
09:46and they're having some fun
09:47purple pills
09:48and god knows what else
09:49i love that she went and got the broom
09:51came back and was like
09:52what cheese
09:53she's like i'm losing my mind
09:54she's like cheese