Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share the most embarrassing things that have happened to them in public and one highlight is a woman who made the mistake of trusting a fart in a tanning bed.
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00:00Passing gas is the most embarrassing thing
00:08people say you can do in public.
00:10The rest of the top five are
00:12having something hanging from your nose.
00:14Been there.
00:15Chuck.
00:17And what's unfortunate
00:19is that you'll never live it down.
00:22I mean, because he always brings it up.
00:24Yeah.
00:24And it gets brought up on the show
00:26occasionally every few years.
00:27Yeah.
00:28No, it'll always be with me
00:29as long as I'm on this show.
00:30Well, it was as big as this piece of paper.
00:32It was not.
00:33As long as it was just him, though.
00:35It was him and some other girl.
00:37Yeah, yeah.
00:37It wasn't me.
00:38No, no, no.
00:39I don't have that.
00:40No.
00:40Thank God.
00:40You don't have the...
00:41Yeah.
00:41I think it still to this day
00:43was the biggest booger I've ever had.
00:44It was.
00:45Like in my life.
00:46I'm telling you, Elise.
00:46Like a history record-breaking.
00:48I don't understand.
00:49And how I didn't feel it?
00:50I don't know.
00:51I don't know because it moved.
00:53Okay.
00:53So what about you?
00:54What's the most embarrassing
00:55public moment you've had?
00:57We'll start here with Marie in Worcester.
00:59Hi, Marie.
01:00Hi.
01:01So what was it for you?
01:02I understand it was pretty bad.
01:05It was so awful.
01:07I was at a tanning salon.
01:09My stomach wasn't feeling well.
01:11I was already naked
01:12because I was in the bed.
01:14I thought I had to fart.
01:16No.
01:16So I got out.
01:17No.
01:17I got out of the bed
01:19and I farted.
01:20No.
01:21And it was explosive diarrhea
01:22all over the bed.
01:23On the tanning bed?
01:26Yeah.
01:27Oh my God, Marie.
01:28That's a write-off.
01:29What did you do?
01:30You can't clean poop
01:31out of a tanning bed?
01:32How did you handle that?
01:33So they give you this little rag
01:36for like,
01:37it's a very tiny rag
01:38for your lotion
01:39to like wipe off your hands.
01:41And I just kind of tried to,
01:44I made it worse.
01:45That's not going to do it.
01:46Oh my God.
01:46Of course you did.
01:47And it's hot.
01:47What did you do?
01:48Did you ask for it?
01:49It's hot.
01:49It's steaming.
01:49I feel like I call a bomb threat in.
01:54I put my clothes on.
01:55I put my clothes on
01:57and I literally like booked it
01:58out of the place.
01:59I felt so bad.
01:59I had a hundred dollars.
02:00What else is she going to do?
02:02What else is she going to do?
02:03Why didn't you go to the bathroom
02:05and get paper towels and water?
02:07No, you run.
02:08Oh, Marie,
02:09you filthy ass pooping tanning bed.
02:11She didn't mean that.
02:12She didn't mean that.
02:12She didn't mean that.
02:13She didn't mean that.
02:13She didn't mean that.
02:14She was 17.
02:15She still should have cleaned it up.
02:17She still should have cleaned it up.
02:18I know,
02:19but she was 17
02:20and embarrassed.
02:21Write that down.
02:22You have to give her a pass
02:23because of her age.
02:24I guess, I guess.
02:25She didn't know what to do.
02:27I'm just thinking of the poor worker
02:28that then has to deal
02:29with the hot, steamy poop
02:31that's been fried
02:31on a tanning bed.
02:32Tanning bitch.
02:33I know, it's terrible.
02:34Oh my God.
02:35Now she's even more embarrassed
02:36than she's more of the filthy
02:38pooping tanning.
02:39Filthy ass pooping tanning bitch.
02:42Come on.
02:43Honestly,
02:44if she ever calls back,
02:45that's what she has to say.
02:46That's who she has to say she is.
02:47Hey, it's me.
02:47Filthy ass pooping tanning bitch.
02:51Much like the tanning bed place,
02:55she'll never return.
02:56Jennifer is in Tampa.
02:58Most embarrassing thing
02:58to happen to you in public, Jennifer.
03:00I was a new student
03:03at a university
03:04and my voice teacher
03:05said I should use a neti pot
03:07to clean my nose
03:08to clear my sinuses.
03:10I'd been getting sick.
03:11So I used an neti pot
03:12and I didn't realize
03:14that I should probably
03:15tip my nose
03:16to get it all out.
03:17Well, I'm going about my day
03:18and I'm out in public, right?
03:21Talking to someone
03:22and my nose
03:23just starts draining out
03:24the water,
03:25the liquid
03:26and it's just pouring.
03:27I'm like,
03:28what did I tell this person?
03:30How would it get stuck in here?
03:31I never heard of that.
03:32It usually just comes right out.
03:33The other side.
03:34Right away.
03:35I've been shocked twice.
03:37I've been thoroughly shocked twice.
03:39Yeah, you definitely
03:40have that look on your face.
03:41Already, like,
03:41I've been, like,
03:42dumbfounded.
03:43How is there water?
03:45Imagine, like,
03:45you're talking to someone
03:46and water just comes flowing
03:47out of their nose.
03:48Oh, no, no, no, no.
03:49I think, like,
03:50they're brain fluid.
03:51Right, it's brain juice.
03:52You're dying.
03:52You're dying right in front of me.
03:54I'm like, oh, death.
03:549-1-1.
03:55Yeah.
03:56Oh, you're dead.
03:579-1-1.
03:57Oh, I guess Michael,
03:59who's next here.
03:59Michael's was really bad
04:00at school once.
04:01What happened, Michael?
04:03When I was going to school,
04:05I was a little bit younger.
04:06How are you guys doing,
04:06balls and wieners and all that?
04:08Yeah, same to you.
04:09I had to go to the bathroom
04:10really bad,
04:10and we were in the middle
04:11of studying,
04:11and the bathroom was downstairs.
04:13So I'm running downstairs
04:14to go to the bathroom,
04:15and as I hit the bottom step,
04:17it was like the corner stairs
04:18where they turn a corner.
04:20I fell,
04:21and I fell down the rest
04:22of the stairs,
04:22and I ended up pooping myself.
04:24Oh, God.
04:25So I had to walk out of the...
04:26Terrible.
04:27I had to walk out
04:28of the side well.
04:29Oh, yeah, you get out.
04:30I was going to poop,
04:31and I went up to my teacher
04:32and was like laughing so bad.
04:34I was like,
04:35is there any way I can go home?
04:37Oh, man.
04:37I wouldn't have been laughing.
04:39I'll tell you.
04:39And I don't even care.
04:40Who knows?
04:40Like they...
04:41Oh, my God.
04:42If I pooped myself
04:43falling down the stairs
04:44at school...
04:45Double whammy.
04:46I wouldn't care
04:47that they put Amber alerts out,
04:49that they like had
04:50helicopters take off,
04:51that they were like
04:52searching for me all over.
04:54I'm getting home
04:55and changing,
04:56and then I'll make
04:57all of the necessary
04:58phone calls.
04:59I'm just leaving.
05:00I get you.
05:00You just go.
05:01I'm just leaving.
05:02You can't be concerned.
05:02You're not going to ask
05:03permission to leave.
05:03No.
05:04You just leave.
05:05No.
05:05They can figure it out later.
05:06My poor son.
05:08So it was like homecoming
05:09for them.
05:12And...
05:12Oh, man.
05:13I probably shouldn't say this.
05:15Oh, what are you doing?
05:15What are you doing?
05:16Are you going to make
05:17this worse for him?
05:18I don't know.
05:18I don't know.
05:19Anyway, so he...
05:22Rowan was messing around
05:26with one of his friends
05:27and split the ass
05:30out of his suit.
05:32No.
05:33Oh.
05:34This was him.
05:35Oh, no.
05:36Split the ass
05:37out of his suit
05:38in front of everybody.
05:43Everybody.
05:44So he's starting to have
05:45the things that had
05:46happened to you.
05:47Yes.
05:47Like curse.
05:48The curse is being...
05:49Is continuing on.
05:50It's a family trait.
05:52Chuck luck passed down
05:53through generations.
05:54He'll never forget that.
05:56The thing is,
05:57so I am like at home
05:59and I'm like being told
06:00about how this whole
06:01picture thing is going
06:02and then I get the text
06:03like,
06:03oh, no.
06:06Rowan just...
06:07And in fact,
06:07I knew it was bad
06:08because Stella was the
06:09one who contacted me.
06:10Oh.
06:10She was there
06:11and Stella was like,
06:13Dad,
06:15I don't know.
06:16I don't know what we're...
06:17We need to kill him
06:18or something,
06:19but Rowan is probably
06:21going to want to die
06:23because his ass
06:24of his pants
06:25just ripped out
06:26completely in front.
06:27I'm like,
06:28Stella, no!
06:29Stella, tell me
06:31you're lying!
06:31Tell me I'm making this up!
06:34And I swear to God,
06:36let me video call you.
06:38And so then she video called me.
06:40She's like,
06:40it's terrible.
06:41It's a bloodbath.
06:43It's a bloodbath.
06:44It's a bloodbath over here.
06:46It's asses out.
06:48And...
06:49It's your fault.
06:50Well, maybe...
06:51It is your curse.
06:52It's your curse.
06:53I tell you,
06:53I was like,
06:54listen, bud,
06:55this suit,
06:56I was like,
06:56you opted for pretty tight
07:01in the pants
07:04just so you know.
07:05First lesson in life.
07:05Yeah, I'm like,
07:06you opted a little too tight
07:07in these pants,
07:09my man.
07:10Poor guy.
07:11So...
07:12But Stella was just so
07:13horrified for him
07:16and my stomach just dropped.
07:19I was like,
07:19I instantly was put
07:21right in that scenario.
07:22Yeah, you remember it back.
07:23You know,
07:24I went right back
07:25inside those moments
07:26and I'm like,
07:27oh God.
07:28And I was,
07:28like I'm telling you,
07:29I had stuff,
07:30I'm doing stuff.
07:31I was in my Jeep
07:33in 0.5 seconds.
07:34I was driving.
07:35I was driving to wherever
07:37to buy a set of gray pants.
07:39I was like,
07:39where can I find
07:40some gray pants?
07:42I have to save my son.
07:43I have to save my son.
07:45You're the hero he needed.
07:46And luckily,
07:47they didn't need me.
07:50His grandma came to the rescue.
07:51Yeah,
07:51she was just fixed it
07:53in 0.5 seconds or whatever.
07:55But...
07:56Poor buddy.
07:56But yeah,
07:57there's no...
07:58And I mean,
07:58like I said,
07:59it's documented.
08:00It's documented.
08:01That's him.
08:02That's his friends
08:03looking at his butt.
08:04Oh my God.
08:05Are they all taking photos?
08:07Well,
08:07I'm sure there's some
08:08photos out there
08:09of this poor,
08:10poor guy.
08:12Poor guy.
08:13Just his butt's on display.