Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a couples massage Jason and his wife got over the vacation and how he might have made a mistake asking for the deepest, most intense rub-down.
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00:00so while uh you guys were you know doing bathroom stuff or whatever it is taking their breaks
00:10uh jason came in here and he was like dude uh do you have any stash of uh you know
00:18motrin or something ibuprofen i'm like yeah i got your stash i opened up my stash and i gave
00:23you a big bag and so i just assumed i was like oh you know so you you must be sore sore from
00:29basketball or something and he's like no i've got a headache which is weird because i don't get
00:33headaches a lot so no but then you revealed why you might have a headache and is it something that
00:42some kind of masseuse knocked loose like maybe maybe i just need it every day now you know like uh so
00:51you're maybe she did something you had a tension release from this massage that you tell us about
00:57the massage you gotta yeah you gotta tell us about it so over vacation we wanted some time
01:03for ourselves so jesse and i took the kids to my mom's and she had some gift cards for a massage
01:09a couple's massage and she was like so i know this makes you extremely uncomfortable yeah you don't
01:18want to do a massage but like we should go do it like you need it you know your back's messed up
01:22your next messed up we're gonna go get this massage so we get there and my lady is a bigger
01:29lady yeah bigger lady yeah and um so we're both in you know it's weird and she's like you could take
01:36your boxers off or not so are you together yeah we're like in the same room why am i shocked that
01:42you just take your boxers i don't know so i didn't get fully naked okay you can if you want you're under
01:48the towel doesn't matter okay you know so i'm like i'm keeping them on like yeah keep them all the
01:53problems in my yeah keep them in everything so i kept them on and she asked if i wanted it firm
02:00or deep isn't that the same well no no big difference between firm and deep i learned it's a big difference
02:08what did you say so i said firm for i'm like let's start firm and if i need a little more to go deep
02:14i've said that i'll let you know to deepen it up a bit yeah so we started firm she's up in the
02:19shoulders it feels good everything's fine she gets my lower back and i can tell that i need more
02:23so i'm like you deeper you can go deep like let's see how it feels and she said you heard him oh you
02:32heard him if i heard him if i hurt him you heard him and i was like what what kind of warning is that
02:39i hear jesse like laugh like her face is in her table you know like yeah she's laughing at me
02:45because i'm just so uncomfortable and awkward so she starts and she has her whole elbow and was i was
02:52almost off the table like i was holding on holding on for dear life and the pressure this person was
02:58putting into my bag and if she would have gone higher up i think she would have cracked one of my
03:04ribs no i didn't want to say no because i asked for the deep you know so i'm like yeah it feels
03:10great like pushing me off the table and then she's like are you ready for something else
03:17oh my god i'm like okay so she took my leg uh-oh up over like to the other side and was holding my
03:26okay hold on hold on hold on hold on are you on your back right now i'm on my stomach the whole
03:30time you're on your stomach and your leg is where scorpion she's scorpion your leg up right leg left
03:36shoulder how does i even how do you even do that what a stretch that is like fully stretch yeah
03:42stretch i didn't have an intensive care i can't do that so like immediately after i felt okay but
03:50the next morning i woke up and i i don't know if i've ever been as sore in my life well you put me
03:54through it no yeah i mean listen that's like uh mma hold like probably a submission of some kind
04:01taking someone's leg and bringing it all the way around the back of them up to their shoulder
04:06did it feel good the stretch or it felt good at the time but i feel like i should have just stayed
04:11firm deep might have been a little too well you don't feel any better from it no i don't like it
04:16was last week and i already feel like i could go back and that's what she said she's like you're
04:20gonna have to come see me yeah book a 90 minute next time right but saying things like you're not
04:25he finally found someone who can get deep enough you know i'm suggesting something what yeah there's
04:32a lot of deep talk yeah because she said you know she's like i try to rub him you know but i i can't
04:37like get what he needs and she's like i got what he needs no oh my god and uh yeah so now you have
04:44a relationship with this woman oh my god it's like a weird dominatrix with her because i said
04:49it felt good i'm like i could stay here all day and she was like do you hear that he could stay all
04:52day he might never leave he's gonna stay here with me and i'm like but i'm just talking i think she's
04:57a dom i think she's like a weird dom yeah she's like i could have spent an hour and a half on your
05:02lower body it's like okay oh my god i don't know see this is like massage therapists are some of
05:09them are so strange but she talks she's really talkative yeah and it's supposed to be like
05:13relaxing you know but told us to go to that you know that hot tub place we've talked about i got
05:19a picture of it recommended you go to the dirty hot tub place her and i just was like oh if the kids
05:24are gone go to the hot tub place take a real and i'm like i've been there yeah before i've been i've
05:31soiled the waters of the hot tub gardens myself yeah oh i can't believe she recommended that you do
05:35that yeah just sort of nice soak yeah you'll need the soak after this they use a lot of dirty
05:40terms for massages they really do like it really do yeah firm deep so i might go back to this lady
05:47you may yeah because it you actually felt better you need probably i feel good i get the time
05:53but so now like i'll just stay firm yeah yeah just do that i don't think i need deep but do you think
05:59that because like you know and i don't know what happens to you the human body when you're massaged
06:04i'm not a massage getter um you know but is tension like released and then you you know you
06:13were nice and loose and everything like that but then you allow yourself to get re-tightened up by
06:18not staying on top of it and then is that why you're so sore maybe you have some tension in your
06:23neck you don't know about it's causing headaches yeah i'm sure i mean the way i sleep or you know
06:27carrying the kids and playing basketball so it's like if you don't do it every day
06:30but it's it's such a weird feeling because she's like going over the knots you know and like you're
06:38just waiting for the thing to like pop yeah you know but and she's like i she said something about
06:44playing hide and seek what she's like i like to play hide and seek but talking about the knots you
06:48know and the tensions a second she's like oh when she says i like to play hide and seek she's the
06:54seeker she oh my god okay that's what she said i i like to play hide and seek and i'm the seeker and
07:01you know like my head's in the thing she's right next to me you're breathing can you imagine you
07:07didn't have pants on at that moment dude like i can't i can't even imagine that chick's like there's
07:13my dainty man she's like i love it that's it she loves you stay on you all day let me get your lower
07:21half an hour i could spend an hour and a half she wants a 90 minute session to twist you up like a
07:28pretzel you didn't know you were so tight did you oh yes i did i did you know there was a lot of weird
07:34you better not tell her anything about your groin problems i i just don't say it yeah don't say a
07:40thing about it you know the calves your groin will be put through the wringer i think so did
07:46jesse like her massage was it yeah her person didn't talk to her like it was very different
07:52yeah basic and but she's in there the whole time listening to our interaction oh my god it's just
07:57laughing because i'm uncomfortable you know and she stretched me out my arms and she's like do you
08:01feel taller i said no and you know she's like you're not supposed to say no she's just trying to have
08:07conversation but i'm just an uncomfortable it's weird i'm in my boxers and you're rubbing me down
08:13yeah but you're gonna you're going back so you liked it yeah i might you might she got me
08:19you