Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who was busted on camera in Washington DC using a cucumber in a perverted way. They watch the footage and discuss how they'd handle the situation if it was Chuck that really did it.
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00:00all right time for our pervert of the day next a new story is up at daveandchuckthefreak.com
00:08if you are a sicko and want to see it for yourself if you want to see a man penetrate himself
00:12now's your chance oh okay with a cucumber with a cucumber yeah it's still penetration
00:18is that what we're about what we're watching that's not up her butt but that's what we'll
00:21watch we're watching that yeah we're gonna and you get multiple it's kind of like the gas pump
00:26guy okay yeah you get sorry what did you say jason multiple angles multiple angles oh wow
00:32and positions jason you found this of course i mean what do you think of course he did he says go
00:37to the website if you're a sicko and want to see it yeah in my case a sicko just told me to find it
00:44yeah exactly okay fine yeah anything for the client you guys anything for the guy
00:51to keep the job yeah yeah so true yeah i hear you get people on the site daveandchuckthefreak.com
00:59go check it out please let's hope it's there cops in washington dc are on the lookout for a sicko
01:04who was caught on camera carrying out a lewd act with a cucumber the disgusting performance by the
01:12unidentified male was filmed on a homeowner's security camera while the man walked around her driveway
01:17this cucumber encounter took place the other day about 5 30 in the afternoon north of the city
01:24of washington dc video of the incident shows a man going into the driveway of the home before he then
01:31positions a cucumber in the front grill oh my goodness of an suv you'd hate to
01:39be the mounting mechanism your car your car yes you'd hate the fact that your car has penetrated
01:49a man yeah yeah you wouldn't you wouldn't know how to feel about it no you wouldn't what a weird
01:53thing this is the man then looks around to check that he's not being watched before making
01:57a dildo out of the vegetable the footage was posted by the homeowner to reddit in the hopes of helping
02:05police identify the suspect the man walks around to the other side of the vehicle and then continues
02:10using the cucumber in a very personal manner i bet very personal
02:14are you ready for it well i mean i don't know how ready you can ever be but
02:21here's the video here it's just like what's going through your mind you know like oh here it is this
02:30is the spot do people get anally curious on their way to work i do i think he's a veteran of the
02:40i think you're right you don't just go right to you know graduate to a cucumber i think he had the
02:45itch like when you see just watch it's odd it's like what happened in his mind that's what i'm saying
02:51i need this in me now yeah right now right it's like all the residential yeah all the people there's
02:58a ton of homes around here yeah so he didn't care he goes to the front so he pulled the cucumber out
03:05of his lunch bag he goes to the front of his car he inserts the cucumber in the grill so it can kind
03:10of i guess hold it in place for him do you feel like he knows yes he does he's smoking while he's
03:16yeah okay do you feel like he knew that maybe that's a joint this grill oh goodness he is could
03:21fit it i think he's just getting it ready back there maybe moistened it up oh boy what's he doing
03:27to it was he plating it or just getting it in there nice and sturdy oh yeah heads up was he
03:33plating it first i don't know about that i think he put a little lubrication yeah maybe a little bit
03:39from his mouth looks like it looks like he may have can't really tell it's tough but his head was
03:45doing this move yeah so that's a leading move he needs a man huh or a larger lady i don't know
03:56yeah larger lady to pegging he's just mounted it there oh he's yeah thank you jason do do on mount
04:04well you were distracted i wanted to make sure you caught it he just mounted it so he's currently
04:10mounting it yeah he's uh he's currently riding it man that's someone's car dude right no one can
04:15see he's still just smoking away smoking and banging himself jesus this is during lunch this was
04:23like uh five five in the afternoon oh my did he hear something maybe he must have heard oh he heard
04:29he heard a car he heard a car do they know do they know they slowed down for a second pants off
04:36no he pulled them up that is a smell we'll go back here oh man that's a smelly cucumber oh chuck
04:42oh it's so quick it is you know it is too many cars are going by so the cigarette is a decoy it's
04:48like oh i'm just here smoking yeah that's it yeah nothing in my butt nothing in my butt
04:55the cucumber let's oh i don't want to see this cucumber up oh he's got it in his hand
05:00gross whoa and he now so now he takes it to the stairs yep and you think he's done but he's not
05:08quite satisfied i need to get the car interrupted him oh dear god almighty he really gets after it
05:15huh he does who is this person position number two yeah oh wow wow god dang it a lot of motion in the
05:24ocean gosh darn it holy smokes this guy is crazy all i can say is holy smokes and then goes right
05:30back into his lunch bag right from his butt into his lunch bag he looked up at the camera oh do you
05:36think i did i missed that yeah like you think when he caught the camera but does that does that
05:40make him stop yes look watch his face something catches his eye right oh yeah right there it wasn't
05:47enough to stop him though really he stops like two seconds after he puts it back in his lunch
05:51in his lunch box you know it's touching his pb and j oh touch more than that yeah just like where's
05:58he going what's the rest of his day like it's gonna be weird it's gotta be weird i want to know
06:03more about this man like what is he oh my god someone said he gave that cucumber the hot tour yeah he's
06:10he's not really walking right either well he just pounded himself with a cucumber i know i just i'm
06:15just saying where's he going like the dainty little thing you know the dainty don't think you said how
06:22you'd be walking after oh like a deer yeah i was like excuse me is he done or is he going over there
06:27to continue is he oh it's over is he fingering the cucumber he's he's reached back in the bag but
06:34the video's over we don't know what happened so he's looking at it yeah you know he just can't
06:40get enough of that thing inside of him by the looks of it no does he know about this do you think
06:46that it's all over the internet now that's hard to know because not everybody is like someone knows
06:51i don't know if he's got time he's busy he's got he's got like yeah he's got like buddies you know
06:56what i mean yeah he knows some someone knows who this is yeah he's got buddies that work so smooth
07:01taken out of his backside and be like just having a cigarette nothing to see here someone who knows
07:07him saw this yeah oh come on sure you hope you hope you don't know him you hope you don't know him
07:15if i was into this yes chuck and i was caught like this i don't know what i do you're going hiding
07:22well i never said i don't get yeah no i mean we got video of you pounding your butt with a cucumber in
07:27an alley we would never see you again you go back to canada you go way far away in the remote
07:32area i'm going to heaven he goes would you say something i'm going right to chuck yeah of course
07:38chuck you're on camera pounding yourself in the ass with a cucumber oh you know it's done now thanks
07:43man you noticed i don't know i don't know what we do you think we go on i think you go on i think i
07:51go on i just own it i'm like yeah i love cucumbers we just pretend like we didn't see it we'd be the
07:57talk of the town this is what we do for a living we can't pretend we didn't see it i don't know what
08:02you're talking about that wasn't him everyone looks like oh my god that's the unfortunate thing
08:06imagine it was just a bald guy with a beard and you guys would all be like oh that's chuck i gotta
08:11get paid i gotta get paid so we're gonna keep this thing going that was not him yeah thank you
08:16this is awesome to have around yeah i've got a chuck the freak shirt on that i've made myself
08:22lisa's like that's not him it's carrying a metal i'm painting a miniature figurine on someone's
08:33nissan while i'm pounding myself lisa's like not him not him but that is his metal detector that's up
08:39his butt no it's not do you know how many guys look like chuck that's it thank you thank you lisa
08:44that's his neighborhood on his jeep dave there's lots of loser guys who metal detect look that's
08:51just another one that's ai ai that's it never discuss it again there you go ai yeah i'd be like
08:58oh that's ai i wasn't there someone's out to get me i love that lisa just went the new politician
09:04room just deny it that's it that's all you have to do now i'm looking out for myself here
09:09yeah good for you who cares what chuck puts in his butt here we are doing everything thank god i've
09:13got lisa on my side whoever thought she'd defend you for your anal antics one of these days i'm gonna
09:19have to like i'll i'm always like sending dumb stuff to lisa one of these times i'm like lisa
09:24hell i was caught in an alley what do i say what do i say just relax just relax let me think of
09:35something never happened it wasn't you ai yeah i gotta get paid that's what it's all about people
09:44oh man yeah oh it just sucks it would suck chuck could be saying oh no i'm not i don't know what
09:52you're about to know what is this oh yeah
09:55i mean it is a detroit tiger shirt that guy has
10:06that's lisa yeah it wasn't him
10:16wasn't him
10:19wasn't him but that was his metal detector wasn't him yeah god
10:26you hate you'd hate to have it happen to you well you would you would you really would
10:33i just would be so mad about somebody doing that to my car too i don't wouldn't feel the
10:37same about my car though oh no yeah very upset very upset but i see because you know because i
10:43can remember lisa's reaction when dave every once in a while dave will come out with like a new thing
10:50that he wants to do and it was like running with the bulls yeah and like and i remember death you
10:57know uh lisa talking to me and it was always one of the things like the show yeah like dave's just
11:05taking the show into his own hands like he's gonna go run with the bulls and then what he gets
11:12gordon he's like and now we're gonna how do we go on like lisa has been a little bit more focused
11:21on gotta get paid you know oh wait you hear that he wants to jump out of an airplane
11:31like two years or so where he was having like a real tom cruise adventure
11:35yeah we had to talk him out of it all the time defying yeah yeah he's having an early midlife
11:42crisis yeah like i gotta get all this done he's like yeah me and my buddies are thinking of going
11:46to spain and driving motorcycles off a cliff no dave yeah like do it lisa like dave would leave
11:54lisa would be like what is going on in the show the show none of us are allowed to do these things
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