Comedian Steve Byrne on The John DeBella Show
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00:00I'm awesome thanks guys good morning good thank you so much for having me appreciate it this is a
00:26young crew how old are you buddy looks like he just put a curly one on the soap this kid look at
00:31he's just beaming just beaming I did it dad how are you doing good good IP standing up look dad
00:43great to be here thank you well I won't even get into that the the the the fact that we heard in
00:49the uh in the green room about uh someone's son oh yeah yeah yeah yeah is she in the room meredith
00:55meredith yeah she's waving in the window right now have four-year-olds poop in his pants
01:00she has two sons and one will not be an astronaut how are your kids you got a boy and a girl
01:06yeah all right the last time we left off you were hoping that uh that she became an athlete of some
01:11kind so you could retire yeah yeah yeah yeah she's uh she's softball taekwondo my son is in taekwondo
01:18the yeah he's he's connecting I throw him some pictures yeah they're athletic they're pretty
01:22all right is that the taekwondo is that from like your mother's side of the family here we go
01:25here we go here we go I get it he always asked me to take my shoes off before I come in the studio
01:31too well racist everybody you know and it happens and I know you do it in your act you son of a bit
01:36yes because his father is iris your mother is korean i'm korean and i'm irish i'm caucasian and
01:43i'm asian which the proper term for that is called caucasian one thing's about it and there you go
01:51now what is this you've got you've got you've got a movie coming and a special coming and in the
01:58special yeah it's like a talk show except nobody's on the show you're the opening comic you do you do
02:04the monologue yeah then you do the desk part you do the panel yeah and then you go and do stand-up
02:10yeah i do stand-up throughout the whole thing so it'll look like when you turn it on it'll look
02:15like a talk show but i'll be the only one on the talk show so i grew up um i'm a huge carson fan so
02:22i still go back i have all the dvds and stuff all of them but like the the collections that they've
02:27released and nobody did a monologue like him he's so just like fluid and bob hope i got i went down
02:33this bob hope rabbit hole in a danger field rabbit hole and i just thought there's nowadays it's so
02:39politically divisive right and a lot of the comics steer obviously hard left and they really go
02:45after trump and i just thought why can't you find that middle ground and have these fun kind of
02:49carcinist monologue jokes so we could try some out you guys want to try some out we'll see how this
02:53goes uh yeah all right the london daily mail recently published a men's health study which
02:57says at least for men having sex burns the same amount of calories is running six miles i find that
03:03ridiculous because no man ever ran six miles in 48 seconds up top pfizer like it drug company
03:10pfizer has announced they've developed a morning after pill for men it changes your phone number and
03:14dna one more time boom any catholics catholics yeah tough time to be a catholic uh my my parents are
03:22very devout recently went to rome visited the vatican they told me this i had no idea the pope is
03:26protected by a 40-foot wall surrounding the perimeter of the vatican also protected by his own private
03:31security detail the police force of rome and the italian army that is the most protection a catholic
03:37has ever used uh kim kardashian was asking she could take a selfie with anyone dead or alive who
03:45would it be her answer jesus christ but i think we can all agree he has suffered enough
03:50national geographic has recently revealed a study that says that human beings and dolphins are the
03:56only two animals on this planet that have sex for fun as soon as this report was revealed west
04:01virginians have been banned from sea world you see uh elizabeth warren running for president
04:08obviously it'll be a little awkward if she wins on inauguration day when they have to play hail to the
04:13chief joe biden that's a deep joke joe biden obviously in a little bit of trouble but he may
04:22end up being the democrats pick on the ticket that'll be quite the matchup between biden and trump uh but
04:28it'll be i i think the democrats could take the high ground because they could say hey hey at least
04:32we we grab women by the shoulders all right by the shoulders guys that's the punchline by the
04:38shoulders i liked it hello you guys get the news up here worked for me okay kim jong-un kim jong-un
04:45always in the news i don't know if you guys know this kim jong-un recently achieved the highest rank
04:49in the north korean army five foot six a hunger games theme park recently opened in south korea it's
04:56called north korea denny's has introduced a new breakfast item it's called the hillary clinton legacy
05:03it's toast
05:04i'll give you one more vice president mike pence recently celebrated an anniversary of his wife
05:11i think that's very sweet i heard he spent his anniversary trying to convince his wife to
05:15participate in a twosome
05:16twosome is the punchline to that guy you know the wild thing about when they wrote jokes for carson
05:24yeah they wrote jokes that that they knew would fail oh yeah because he was better at failing and and
05:32he would make it even funnier than if he actually did the real punchline and you know and it worked
05:37yeah well so the way that and that's a great point so the way that the when you see the act
05:43actually as it's there are tethered throughout those bomb pieces that are like like the pence joke
05:49becomes a callback right um and like this is a great like you know when i'm performing i go hey any
05:54taliban here
05:55obviously a lot of drawbacks to being a member of the taliban but one positive is that if you
06:01remarry you do not have to change your wedding photos
06:03so you have that one in there so it's like guys it's a they wear they wear burkas
06:10pull it up is it a dude is it a goat you know so you have jokes like that and then you hit them
06:15right back with another good you know with with with another heavy hitter one when is this coming out
06:21well i gotta film it so i'm filming it probably later on this year because i've been the last
06:26probably two years have just been devoted to this movie so i wrote it and then vince vaughn and i
06:32you know and and peter billingsley is right right he's got all three of us we've been pals for a while
06:36but but we we kind of i wrote it i gave it to them they said this is great but let's do some
06:41tune-ups to it so we spent probably six to eight months tuning it up and then we found financing
06:47pretty quickly and then uh i all of a sudden it's just like all right you're directing movie and i've
06:51never directed a film wow ever in my life and it was i i will never dump on a film as long as i live
06:57because it's such an audacious process so much yeah it was it was crazy but but we're coming out the
07:02other end we're in the fourth quarter two minute drill it's almost done and uh i'm really happy
07:06about it that's great does your neck hurt when you're talking to vince vaughn yeah you gotta go
07:10like that yeah he's circus tall as he calls himself circus tall that's perfect that's right yeah to me
07:15when you see him in films you know you notice that he's a tall guy but they must have everybody else
07:19on apple boxes or something like that because he always seems to be having a normal conversation
07:23with somebody but he is he's what six five six six five yeah yeah ladies and gentlemen mr steve
07:29should i give you one more one more this year's westminster dog show had two new breeds never
07:34seen before because apparently last year's after party got a little out of hand
07:38you