Frasier Season 3 Episode 7 The Adventures Of Bad Boy and Dirty Girl
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00:00Previously, I'm Frasier.
00:02What is going on?
00:04Oh, our beloved station manager decided we're not getting our raise this year.
00:09You intractable despot!
00:11That's true!
00:16You're in the middle of a negotiation.
00:19Maybe she laid that smack around you just to rattle your brain.
00:22We have got to settle this strike.
00:24All right.
00:25Those people deserve a 5% raise.
00:28I'll give you three.
00:29Four.
00:30Done.
00:41Frasier!
00:42Damn, I didn't think you'd be here.
00:45I would have gone to my regular haunt, but the pig and swig is closed for remodeling.
00:50I'm sorry, Niles. It's just...
00:52I'm meeting Kate here. We want to discuss the little dilemma in which we find ourselves.
00:57You're talking about the little kiss you two share that hardly constitutes a dilemma.
01:01Not as if you plunged into a tawdry office affair.
01:05No.
01:06Then you'd have a real problem.
01:08Yes.
01:09Kiss?
01:10Kiss?
01:11Nothing.
01:12Right.
01:13Had sex with her, didn't you?
01:17I didn't mean to.
01:19It just...
01:20happened.
01:21One minute we were negotiating.
01:22Next minute our inhibitions were shattered along with my kneecap and her Macintosh power book.
01:31This happened in her office?
01:34Yes.
01:35What are you saying?
01:36Her couch folds out?
01:39We used her desk.
01:42Her desk folds out?
01:44There she is.
01:45There she is.
01:46We'll just make an excuse and go, okay?
01:47All right.
01:49Ah, Miss Costas.
01:50Mr. Craig.
01:51Oh, look at the time.
01:52I have a session with my multiple personality.
01:55Ah.
01:57Not to worry if I'm late, he can just talk amongst himself.
02:01So, good morning.
02:02Good morning.
02:03Good morning.
02:04How's your kneecap?
02:05Ah, well, it's better.
02:06Thanks.
02:07And your laptop?
02:08I prefer to your computer.
02:10A little dented, but fine.
02:11The computer.
02:12Ah, anyway, what I wanted to tell you was the, um, well, last night was...
02:15One of the greatest nights of love making I've had since...
02:31Roz.
02:32Tell me she just walked in.
02:34Well, hi.
02:36Guess you guys kissed and made up, huh?
02:39Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
02:42Ah.
02:43Ah, ah, ah.
02:44Oh, well, in a manner of speaking, yes.
02:49We were just discussing the step system in the new health care plans copayment ceiling, and, well, it wouldn't interest you.
02:56Oh, the hell it wouldn't.
02:59You know, they're too cheap to pay for a butt lift.
03:03Sit on this thing all day long, that's work-related.
03:05Listen, I really have to go, but I would like to discuss this matter at the first possible opportunity.
03:15So would I.
03:17Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot.
03:19I need you two to fill in the 8 to 10 slot tonight.
03:23Floyd, the happy chef, is in rehab again.
03:29Oh, great.
03:30I'm supposed to have dinner with a successful, handsome doctor.
03:34Frasier, she thinks we're all as happy to work all night as she is.
03:38You're a psychiatrist, Frasier.
03:41She's a cold, repressed workaholic who has no sex life whatsoever.
03:46Can't you help her?
03:51I've tried, Ross.
04:00Why do we bother having a service elevator?
04:05I just rode up 19 floors with two sweaty moving men munching on chili dogs,
04:10which they proceeded to drip onto my suede shoes.
04:14How will I ever get that stain out?
04:16Dog saliva.
04:30Nature's miracle solvent.
04:31So, who's moving out, anyway?
04:38Deirdre Sauvage, the one who writes the romance novels.
04:41Oh, yeah.
04:42The Lost Gabor sister's finally out of here.
04:44Oh, she's a very sweet person, and I'm going to miss her.
04:49Yeah, well, you're not the one who's always undressing with her eyes.
04:53She lured me into her apartment one time, supposedly to fix a lamp.
04:57Next thing I know, I got a drink in my hand.
04:59She's reading me a dirty poem about meadowlarks.
05:02Well, I must admit, she's never done that to me.
05:08Yeah, well, if she does, don't thank a charley horse to get out of there.
05:11She'll just try to rub it.
05:12Speaking of romance, Dr. Crane,
05:20when I washed your shirt this morning,
05:22I couldn't help noticing lipstick in the oddest places.
05:27I'll take it negotiations went well last night?
05:33Rather not discuss it, thank you.
05:34Why, is there a problem?
05:36Things between me and Kate just went a little faster than I intended.
05:40I'll say.
05:40There were also four buttons missing and teeth marks in the shoulders.
05:46Thank you, Inspector Moon.
05:52Things got a little out of hand.
05:55I think we should slow down a bit,
05:57but I'm afraid to tell her if you're hurting her feelings.
06:01Daphne, how about a woman's perspective?
06:03Let's just say for argument's sake that you and I succumb to a night of passion.
06:10What? You and me?
06:13Yes.
06:14But buttons heaving, shirt buttons catapulting through the air.
06:18It's a hypothetical question.
06:21I'll say it is.
06:23Oh, all right.
06:25Somebody else, all right?
06:26So, you have a mad trust with this young man,
06:30and then the next day he says that he thinks things are going too fast.
06:35He'd like to slow down.
06:36What would you say?
06:38I suppose I'd say thanks for being honest.
06:42Probably right.
06:43We were moving fast.
06:44Not that it was too fast for you last night.
06:50Oh, no.
06:51We were right on schedule then, weren't we?
06:54But now you've had your fun.
06:56Oh, not too much, apparently.
06:57And you want to be my friend.
06:59Well, you can just sod off, Trevor Mulgrew.
07:01You know, I think I might have some buttons for this shirt.
07:12You see, Dad, the whole thing's a minefield.
07:15Ah, you'll never learn, will you?
07:17Handling a woman's easy.
07:19You know, you kill me.
07:22Mr. Psychiatrist, you always got to make everything so complicated.
07:27A woman comes on too strong, you just tell her to cool her engines.
07:30It's the easiest thing in the world.
07:33Oh, Deirdre.
07:35I understand you're leaving us.
07:36A last kiss.
07:37Oh, do come in.
07:41Oh, I love you.
07:44You've been so kind to me, I wanted to give you my new address.
07:53Oh, great.
07:54I'd hate to lose touch.
07:56I also wanted to bring you a farewell gift.
08:00My latest novel, Foolish Escapade.
08:03It's the long-awaited sequel to The Rose and the Rapier.
08:10Swell.
08:11I was, uh, thinking of you when I created the character of Lorenzo, the lovesick gondolier.
08:20Oh, how about that?
08:25But hey, where are my manners?
08:27Let me show you out.
08:30Oh, by the way, the lock on my suitcase has jammed.
08:36I was, um, hoping that you'd come and tinker with it.
08:40Oh, gee, you know, I'd love to, Deirdre, but I promised Frasier I'd do something with him tonight.
08:47Oh, oh, Dad, didn't I mention it?
08:49I'm filling in for the happy chef tonight, so you're all hers.
08:54Oh, marvelous.
08:56Good night, Lorenzo.
09:06Hello, Polly.
09:07How can I help you?
09:08Oh, I'm so glad I got through.
09:10I'm sitting here not knowing what to do.
09:13I find myself lacking a certain spice.
09:16Well, Polly, if you want to shake up your routine, why don't you, uh, try something new and dangerous?
09:24Uh, skydiving, belly dancing, perhaps.
09:28That ought to add some spice.
09:31What are you talking about?
09:33I'm making an apple tart, and I'm out of cinnamon.
09:36I see.
09:45Listeners, for the fourth time this hour, I am not the happy chef.
09:54I am the irritated psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane.
10:01We'll be right back after the news.
10:06And while we're on the subject of tarts...
10:12I'm really sorry about that call.
10:17Oh, it's all right, Roz.
10:18Why don't you just run along for your date?
10:20I can handle the last ten minutes here.
10:22Are you sure?
10:23Sure.
10:24I mean, I feel terrible leaving you here alone in a lurch.
10:26We are a team, Frasier.
10:28You just say the word, and I'll stay.
10:30Hey!
10:30Hold that elevator!
10:36Got a minute?
10:42Oh, yes.
10:43Uh, look, I'm glad you're still here.
10:45Uh, listen.
10:47No, no, no.
10:47Me first this time.
10:51Okay.
10:51I really think that we should slow things down.
10:59I'm so glad you said that.
11:01I wanted to say the same thing, but I was afraid that you'd feel I was rejecting you.
11:05Oh, how sensitive.
11:07And yet, at the same time, how full of yourself.
11:10You are one tough nut, lady.
11:22Well, this definitely shows we're doing the right thing.
11:26Agreed.
11:27Agreed.
11:27And finally, now that we've got that settled, do you mind if I ask you a question about last night?
11:31Hmm.
11:32What the hell was that?
11:33I have no idea.
11:35Jeff, ever since I've gotten here, you have done nothing but irritate me like a persistent skin rash.
11:44And you, me.
11:45And last night was no different.
11:46You just kept talking and talking and talking, and I guess that mouth of yours just ticked me off so much I just had to have it.
11:55The whole thing.
11:57It's just, it's so primitive.
11:59Yeah.
11:59Yeah.
12:00Animal.
12:01We were just functioning on instinct.
12:03It's fascinating, really.
12:04Oh, let's not dismiss the element of danger.
12:08All those people outside, they could have walked in any moment and caught us.
12:11That crossed my mind.
12:14For once, in my cautious button-down life, I felt like a real bad boy.
12:22I felt like a dirty girl.
12:27What did you just call yourself?
12:29I said, dirty girl.
12:30You bad boy.
12:36You dirty girl.
12:43You bad boy.
12:47Dirty girl.
12:49Bad boy.
12:51Dirty girl.
12:52How much time do we have left on the news?
13:06Three minutes.
13:07You know what?
13:07But that's all right.
13:08I can play lots of extra commercials.
13:09Oh, good.
13:09In local news, Congressman Robert Gill was accused of accepting bribes from a waste treatment facility.
13:17As to comment, the congressman said,
13:20Yes!
13:21Yes!
13:22I am a bad boy, I tell you.
13:25You dirty girl.
13:27Come to your bad boy.
13:29Oh, yes.
13:31Oh, no.
13:31Is that the on-air light?
13:34Stop talking.
13:35You must have hit the switch with your elbow while we were...
13:37Stop talking.
13:39It's trying to get dressed while we still have...
13:41Stop talking!
13:42Stop talking!
13:42Stop talking!
13:42Stop talking!
13:42Stop talking!
14:01Okay, Fabio.
14:07I want two things.
14:09One, you will never make another crack about my sex life.
14:15I don't care if I start dating a lumber camp.
14:20Done.
14:21Two, who's dirty girl?
14:26I can't tell you that.
14:28Oh, come on, Frasier.
14:30I swear I won't tell a soul.
14:34Yes?
14:35Not yet.
14:36I'll call you back.
14:41Doc?
14:43I got one thing to say to you.
14:46Go ahead.
14:46Take your best shot.
14:49I'm so proud of you, man.
14:55Doesn't that just put the cherry on the parfait?
14:58Come on.
15:01You got to tell me.
15:03Who's the mystery chick?
15:04Bulldog, haven't you already seen?
15:06I've told a half a dozen reporters that I am not going to name names.
15:10Don't you see this right here?
15:12I won't think, says Kinky Shrink.
15:20Good afternoon, Dr. Crane.
15:23Ms. Costas.
15:24Hey, hey, you're the boss.
15:25Make him tell who his playmate was.
15:27Hold on.
15:29This is really none of your business.
15:31Oh, but we got a pool going.
15:33So far, how many sun rise?
15:36What?
15:37Oh, well, thank you, but I think I have a little more self-respect than to have a quickie with a co-worker on the air.
15:44What kind of slut do they think I am?
15:52Dr. Crane, could I have a word with you in private?
15:56I'd love that, but I've got my show in two minutes.
15:59Actually, you don't.
16:00What?
16:01I'm suspending you for a week.
16:04Bulldog, you're going on.
16:06Roz, you'll have to produce.
16:08All right.
16:09I must say, I find that a bit harsh, all things considered.
16:20Yes, I can see how you might feel that way, but the station does have certain standards, and it is my job to enforce them.
16:28Now, if you will excuse me, I have to meet with one of last night's sponsors, the Wholesome Family Cookie Company.
16:35Hey, turn those lights out!
16:49Why?
16:50Deirdre hasn't finished moving yet.
16:55If she sees a light in here, she'll know I'm home.
16:58You can see her living room from her bedroom.
17:01Her bedroom?
17:02She had me cornered in there yesterday.
17:05I don't mind telling you, I haven't been that scared since Korea.
17:13Don't worry, Dad.
17:14Look, I have no intention of letting anyone in here tonight.
17:18The tabloid news crew down in the lobby had to go in the back way and use the service elevator.
17:26Say, I tuned in to your show tonight.
17:28Why weren't you on it?
17:29If you must know, I've been suspended for a week.
17:35Oh, no.
17:37I spent the last three hours at the observation deck of the Space Needle, looking down on the city that's looking down on me.
17:45Hello, Dr. Crane.
17:50Daphne.
17:52I'm not here.
17:53Yes.
17:54Your father's not here either.
17:56It's so nice having the whole house to myself.
18:04Daphne.
18:04Oh, how lovely.
18:06Now the whole family's not here.
18:11I listened to your program as I was driving home last night.
18:15Here's a bill to replace the front grille of my Mercedes, and a second to replace the back bumper of some wretched little domestic car.
18:22Go easy on your brother, Niles.
18:27He's had a rough day.
18:29You're right, Dad.
18:30Frazier, please, accept my apologies.
18:34I can imagine how trying this must have been for you.
18:37Thanks, Niles.
18:39Of course, it's been no picnic for those of us who share your name.
18:47My Maris took it particularly hard.
18:49When I left this morning, she was ordering new stationery with an accent aigu over the E in our name.
18:59Hereafter, her memos will read from the desk of Maris Cranet.
19:11Who is it?
19:13Kate Costas.
19:14Wait.
19:15Wait.
19:15All right, all of you.
19:16You know nothing about last night.
19:21Hello.
19:22Come in.
19:25Okay.
19:26You know Niles, of course.
19:28This is my father, Martin, and his health care worker, Daphne, Kate Costas.
19:33Nice to meet you.
19:35I'm sorry if I'm coming at a bad time.
19:37Oh, no, no.
19:38We were just taking Eddie for a walk.
19:41Eddie!
19:42I have to be running along, too.
19:45Oh.
19:46What's on your chin?
19:47Have you been in the garbage again?
19:50You bad boy.
19:51I have to be running along, too.
20:06So, nice place.
20:11Whoa.
20:12What a view.
20:14Yes.
20:16I'll be enjoying it during my suspension.
20:20Well, I guess that concludes the small talk portion of our evening.
20:26Look, it must be obvious.
20:27I've come here to apologize.
20:29Oh, really?
20:30For what?
20:32Turning on me when I went out of my way to protect you?
20:36You know, we're both responsible for this.
20:38Yet I end up looking like an idiot, and you look like a no-nonsense boss.
20:41All right, all right.
20:42Just tell me what I can do to make this right.
20:44Nothing!
20:45There's nothing you can do, there is nothing you can say to make this up to me.
20:50The owners wanted you fired.
20:53That's pretty good.
20:55Look, there's no way we can rewrite the past.
20:59It happened.
21:00We did it.
21:01It's on tape.
21:02But we can do this.
21:05We can prevent it from ever happening again.
21:08Agreed.
21:10Obviously, there's some kind of incredible traction between this.
21:15The trick will be simply to avoid the opportunity.
21:18We're strong.
21:20We're intelligent.
21:23And we're alone in this apartment.
21:26I'll get my bag.
21:28Yes.
21:31Oh, Kate, Kate.
21:32That news crew is probably still in the lobby.
21:35Let me walk you to the service elevator and see you.
21:41Going down?
21:43No, you guys go ahead.
21:44Just send it back up.
21:46Yes, well, I'm sure if we really try, we can keep things on our professional footing.
21:57Hey, we're too mature adults.
21:59We just have to avoid our undue temptation.
22:08What's going on?
22:09I don't know.
22:10Hello?
22:12No, it's a little light.
22:16Hello?
22:18Hello?
22:20Can anybody hear me?
22:22Hello?
22:23Yeah.
22:23What's going on?
22:25Looks like you're stuck.
22:27Same thing happened this morning.
22:29Took about a half an hour to fix.
22:32You two guys gonna be okay?
22:34Yeah, yeah, we're fine.
22:36We're adults.
22:37We're mature adults.
22:40Ow.
22:41It's getting sort of hot in here, isn't it?
23:04Yeah.
23:05It's a bit hot.
23:06You don't mind if I take off my jacket, do you?
23:08Makes no difference to me.
23:17Oh.
23:19Looks like we're gonna be here for a little while.
23:21We'll try to make ourselves comfortable.
23:26Hey, but there's some chairs in here.
23:30Ah, here we are.
23:31I just have to move this down a little bit.
23:34What's that?
23:42I must have knocked open a music box in here somewhere.
23:49I'm not really in the mood for music.
23:51Could you stop that, please?
23:52Yes, yes, I'll try.
23:56God, it's hot in here.
23:58What's that smell?
24:03I seem to have broken a bottle or something.
24:09Musk oil.
24:13Oh, where is that damn music box?
24:16Here it is.
24:19I really think that it would be a very good thing if you just did something about that
24:25musk oil.
24:26Oh, yes, all right.
24:28How about...
24:30Oh, I know.
24:31I handmade that drop off there.
24:32Maybe I can just smother it.
24:41Who lives in this building?
24:43You know, I think we can just forego the musk oil right now.
24:50Why don't you just cover that back up?
24:52No, no, no, no, no.
24:54I'm not going to touch this thing again.
24:56Look at me.
24:56I'm all dirty.
25:05Stop, stop, stop.
25:08You're right.
25:08We have gazed into the gaping maw of temptation and survived.
25:27My God, I'm...
25:28I'm...
25:29I'm proud of her.
25:31I am too, God.
25:33Oh, God.
25:38Of course, the cable could bring.
25:45We'd be kicking ourselves all the way down.
25:48You are so right.
25:49Oh, God.
25:51Oh, God.
25:57Oh, God.
26:01Oh, God.
26:04Oh, God.
26:04Oh, God.
26:05Oh, God.
26:08Good night, Dr. Crane.
26:20Ms. Costas.
26:21Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling.
26:34Tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:39Oh, my.
26:40And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:43Well, maybe.
26:44But I got you pegged.
26:46Ha, ha, ha, ha.
26:49But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:56They're calling again.
26:59Good night, Seattle.
27:00We love you.