Frasier Season 3 Episode 14 The Show Where Di Ane Comes Back
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00:00This is Dr. Frazier Crane, KACL 780.
00:05Frazier, that was security. Some woman insisted on seeing you. She just blew right past them.
00:11Oh, don't panic, Ross. Probably just one of my more ardent fans.
00:27Miles, we gotta talk. It's urgent.
00:29Frazier, I'm with a patient.
00:31Oh, I'm sorry.
00:32Is this about a woman?
00:35Yes.
00:36Take all the time you need.
00:42Well?
00:44She's back.
00:46The scourge of my existence.
00:51Stranger usually gets some sign when Lilith is in town.
00:54Dogs forming into packs, blood weeping down the wall.
00:57I'm talking about Diane Chambers.
01:07Lucille, send Mr. Carr home.
01:09She just showed up at the station today.
01:18Apparently some plays she wrote is being produced here in town.
01:23I admit, I just sort of panicked when I saw her.
01:26I mean, I think I covered it, Master Flynn.
01:29All right, all right, all right.
01:30Well, why do you think you reacted that way?
01:32Oh, spare me the psychiatrist bit, Niles.
01:36That includes putting down the pad.
01:41In the drawer, Niles.
01:46Fine.
01:47My first question to you is this.
01:51Are you still in love with her?
01:52No.
01:52Not in the least.
01:53It's a ridiculous suggestion.
01:55Seeing as how I have nowhere to write the phrase classic denial, I'll move on.
02:04So, about this woman for whom you have so little feeling that you raced across town and burst into one of my sessions,
02:11Is there any lingering resentment over what?
02:20Well, she did leave you at the altar.
02:24When you told her how that made you feel, was there anything you left unsaid?
02:31Any phrase or feeling you wish you had expressed to her?
02:35I'm making the assumption here that you did tell her how you felt.
02:44I sort of did.
02:48Sort of is another one of those phrases that just wants to go in my pad.
02:57I expressed my distaste for the way I'd been treated, yes.
03:00Frasier, she rejected you in the most debilitating way a man can be rejected.
03:05You've got to more than sort of tell her how that felt.
03:08I just can't tell Diane how awful she made me feel now.
03:11It's a distant memory for her.
03:13I feel weak.
03:15You have no reason to feel weak.
03:17You've moved on in your life, too.
03:19You have a new career.
03:20New wealth.
03:21New success.
03:22You simply need closure in this one area.
03:27You know, what you just said made a lot of sense.
03:29You're going to get closure.
03:31No, that business is about my success.
03:34Tuned you out after that.
03:38I'm going to invite Diane over for dinner tonight.
03:40I'm really going to flunk my success.
03:43Put rubber nose in it.
03:45I don't prove that I'm not just some cast aside and never got over her.
03:51Now, I know, it's not psychologically sound.
03:54But we're still human.
03:56We have to do what feels good sometimes, don't we?
04:03I'd just like to be on the record as saying I'm against it.
04:07Fine.
04:08You know the path that leads to peace with Diane, and you're rejecting it.
04:11Yes.
04:12I'm washing my hands of the entire matter.
04:14Wouldn't miss it for the world, though, would you?
04:15I'll be there at seven with the cheeky Bordeaux.
04:17No, no, no, no, no.
04:29Daphne, I was very specific about this.
04:31The mayor's plaque goes on the piano.
04:33The Otis Klandenning Man of the Year Award goes right over here.
04:37And my jewel, my CB, goes right here where she can't mess it.
04:45Hmm.
04:46That seems a bit subtle.
04:48Why don't I just use this to serve the olives?
04:51Don't give me that!
04:53I wish someone would just tell me who this woman is and why we're trying to impress the
05:01pants off her.
05:03She's a one-time Boston barmaid who had a nervous breakdown, ended up in a sanatorium where I
05:10met her, fell for her, and then was so mercilessly rejected by her that to this day there is
05:16a sucking chest wound, where once there dwelled a heart.
05:27Diane!
05:32Hello, Fraser.
05:34Please.
05:35You remember my brother Niles, my father Martin, and this is his health care worker, Daphne Moon.
05:41Hello, Diane.
05:41Nice to see you all.
05:43What a tasteful abode.
05:45Hello, yeah, well, modest in its way.
05:48Oh, that's what I like about it.
05:50After the rambling beach house I've been living in, I'm ready for something smart and efficient.
06:01Why, why, Diane, I'm pouring an 85 Montrecher La Guiche I purchased at auction.
06:07Oh, I always keep a bottle of that open myself.
06:10Hang us up.
06:19Well, Martin, it's been too long.
06:21How have you been?
06:23Well, my wife died.
06:24I got shot in the hip, and I had to move in with Fraser because I kept falling down in
06:28the shower.
06:33Well, you look wonderful.
06:37Yes, you do.
06:41That's the bad one.
06:42Niles, do you remember the last time I was in town when we dined together?
06:53You had just started dating this woman.
06:56She was the queerest little creature.
06:58She ate everyone's sorbet, and then she had to lie down in the ladies' lounge while the
07:08coat check girl massaged her abdomen.
07:10Oh, I hope I haven't put my foot in it.
07:21You and she didn't get married and live happily ever after, did you?
07:24No, can't say as we did.
07:30Care for an olive?
07:32Oh, thank you.
07:33These are a Pyrenean taste treat.
07:36They're handpicked and bottled by Andalusian monks.
07:39Hmm, you can spit the pits in here.
07:53So, there I was on the balcony of my Malibu beach house when a pod of whales passed by.
08:02I knew I had to commune with these gentle giants.
08:06So, like a flash, I was on the beach, scrambling to my kayak.
08:13But cruel fortune interceded when, not 20 yards offshore, I suddenly discovered myself
08:21entangled in an enormous bed of, of, um...
08:25Seek help.
08:26Exactly right.
08:27Seek help.
08:28Oh, that's funny.
08:29I thought he said, seek help.
08:41So, you haven't told us how you've come to be in Seattle.
08:44Oh, a small theater group has decided to produce a play I've written.
08:50Which one?
08:51Oh, my most recent work.
08:53It's a sort of feminist odyssey, experimental in places, in tone akin to Soroyan, with a
09:00sous-son of Gide and a hearty nod to Clifford Odense.
09:06I meant which theater?
09:07Oh, the roundabout.
09:12That seems appropriate.
09:19You know, why don't you people just keep talking amongst yourselves?
09:23I will go and fetch the profiteroles they were prepared by the hottest new pastry chef in...
09:27Oh, what's the use?
09:28I'll help.
09:34He always overpowders.
09:37After old man Kennedy felt this kind of pride when his boys would go out and play touch football.
09:45Fraser, you know her better than I.
09:47Is that what she looks like when she's writhing in envy?
09:50Shut up.
09:54I admit you are right.
09:56For what she leaves here tonight, I am going to tell her how much pain she made me feel.
10:03The savage truth this time, there will be no sugar-coating it.
10:08Yes, I am aware of the irony.
10:14Must be wonderful to see your words come to life like that.
10:18Oh, yes.
10:19It's a dream come true.
10:21Diane, are you okay?
10:27Yes, I'm fine.
10:28Why?
10:29Well, your cheek was kind of twitching.
10:32It was?
10:34Oh, well, it was probably fatigue.
10:37Where were we?
10:38I was asking about your play.
10:40Oh, right.
10:41There it goes again.
10:43That's right.
10:46That was either a very large twitch or a very small seizure.
10:50You know, I'm not sure how much I really want to talk about my play right now.
11:05Bad luck and all that.
11:09We all know what a struggle it is to get Diane to talk about herself.
11:15Oh, Frazier, you always good kid.
11:21Oh, I miss that.
11:36Look, Diane.
11:37Please, I really didn't mean anything by it.
11:39I, I'm sorry.
11:41It's not that.
11:42It's my whole life.
11:44It's ruins.
11:46Cass, could you please get her some water?
11:49Of course, of course.
11:51Oh, everything I told you tonight is a lie.
11:57I'm sorry for this.
11:59Oh, I must look just awful.
12:04Your cheek stop jumping.
12:12All right, now.
12:14Tell me what happened.
12:16Was it about your play?
12:18Sir, it coughs again.
12:19Would you people please just give us some privacy?
12:25Sure.
12:32All right, now.
12:35From the beginning.
12:36Well, it all started a few months ago when I lost my job.
12:46I'd been writing for Dr. Quinn, medicine woman.
12:51I was on the set one day, and I was trying to show Jane Seymour the proper way to cauterize a wound with a branding iron.
13:01And I accidentally set her hair on fire.
13:06Well, from there, it was a steady slide downhill.
13:14Two-year relationship ended.
13:17I lost the beach house.
13:20Friends stopped crawling.
13:21The one bright spot was my play in Seattle.
13:26Well, I flew up here yesterday only to find that the backer was pulling out.
13:33I was so distraught, I found myself wandering around the city in complete despair.
13:39It's then that, like a ray of hope from heaven, I saw your smiling face on the side of a bus.
13:51And that's why I'm here today.
13:59You helped me the only other time I was this low.
14:04Frasier, I'm asking for your help again.
14:07Of course, I'll help you, Diane.
14:14Oh, Frasier.
14:17Well, that was a bit scary.
14:19I'll say, watching someone go completely crackers like that.
14:25What's the matter with you now?
14:27I think I'm fine.
14:28Just suddenly missing my Maris.
14:31My God, Niles.
14:45It's such a glorious day.
14:47I walked all the way here.
14:48Thirty-two blocks of Bruno Malley's bedabbed.
14:53Oh, yes.
14:54I see.
14:55The look.
14:55I know exactly what it means, too.
14:57How can I very well say no to Diane?
14:59She came to me in crisis.
15:01Oh, excuse me.
15:02A double cappuccino, please.
15:03Light cinnamon.
15:04Thank you very much.
15:06Oh, you know, the change in Diane has really been quite gratifying.
15:12Dropped her off at the theater today.
15:14There was a smile on her face that I haven't seen in, well, far too many years.
15:22Oh, I know what you're thinking.
15:23Where did she get the money to do the play?
15:25Well, she found a backer.
15:29It's tax-deductible.
15:35Oh, why don't you just go ahead and say what you're thinking, Niles, that I'm falling for
15:39her again.
15:40Well, you did bounce in here as though you were on top of the world and babbling about
15:44her smile.
15:44I just don't want to hear it, Niles.
15:47Simply helping her to get back on her feet and out of my life as quickly as possible.
15:51Oh, no, I don't know how long it's going to take.
15:55But that's that I don't know.
15:58Really, Niles, curse you.
16:00You are the most infuriating busybody.
16:02I'm not sitting with you.
16:03It really is a lovely city.
16:20Night.
16:22Making all things dimly beautiful.
16:25One veil over us both.
16:30Cyrano?
16:31Eleven years later, we're still on the same page.
16:34Frasier, these past few weeks you've given so much of yourself to me.
16:40Oh.
16:40I want to give the one gift I have to bestow.
16:45I want you to be the first person to see my play.
16:49Will you come to dress rehearsal tonight?
16:51Diane, I'd be honored.
16:52Oh, wonderful, wonderful.
16:55Give me a second.
16:57Look, are you sure you're ready for this?
16:59Oh, yes, it's time.
17:02Tonight, I bear myself to you.
17:05Big step, are you?
17:11Oh, well, I have to say I'm a little nervous about it,
17:16but barring any lighting or prop problems,
17:18the whole thing will be over in a couple of hours.
17:21Oh, people still in the house here?
17:28Meet me at the theater at 7.
17:30I don't know what I've done to deserve you.
17:45Hey, Dad.
17:47Listen, this is none of my business, but
17:49you're not falling for her again, are you?
17:53What if that were?
17:55That woman dumped you at the altar.
17:57Oh, that was the old Diane.
17:58She no longer sees herself as the center of the universe.
18:05I'm not the old Frasier anymore, either.
18:07People can't change, Dad.
18:09Yeah, I suppose you're right.
18:11Take me, for instance.
18:13The old Martin would have said you're out of your mind.
18:16I'd rather see you go gay and shack up with a punk who shot me
18:20than go off with her.
18:25I'd rather see you sewed up inside the body of a dead horse.
18:28But the new Martin just says,
18:32Vivienne Amour.
18:36The new Frasier resists the temptation to correct your French.
18:41Well, the stage is set.
18:51My players are prepared.
18:53So, without further ado,
18:56I give you Rhapsody and Requiem,
19:00a play by Diane Chambers.
19:03Well, it sure is great having Mary Ann back.
19:19I just wasn't the same when she was gone.
19:21Yeah, well, you know,
19:23recent studies at John Hopkins University revealed
19:26that the expression absence makes the hot girl fonda
19:30is in actuality rooted in scientific bedrock.
19:35Yeah, son's your head.
19:37He's up there, darling.
19:39Evening, everybody.
19:42Hey there, Ned.
19:44What would you say of a beer?
19:46What's a nice beer like you doing in a face like this?
19:49Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
19:56Salutations, all.
19:57Hey there, Doc.
19:59What can I get you?
20:00Ooh, a prickly choice, Dan.
20:02It reminds me of the one the 18th century wit John Wilkes faced
20:06when asked by the Earl of Sandwich
20:08whether he expected to die on the gallows or of the pox.
20:12That depends, sir, he said,
20:13on whether I choose to embrace your principles
20:16or your mistress.
20:21Evening, people.
20:23Mary Ann!
20:24I pour beer down people's throats.
20:38I drink it.
20:42Our lives are empty.
20:45So what draws our feet here night after night?
20:50Mary Ann!
20:51Mary Ann!
20:54Well, I'm off.
20:58See you anon, mi amore.
21:02You bet, honey.
21:04Hold it, stop.
21:09What kind of a kiss was that?
21:11You two were supposed to be in love.
21:14I didn't know how big you wanted it.
21:16Remember that kiss you gave me this morning?
21:19Why, this one?
21:20It's the one.
21:30Okay, from the kiss.
21:33You bet, honey.
21:34Forgive me, Franklin.
21:45I suppose that was a tad inconsiderate.
21:49Quite all right.
21:50A loving spirit like yours can't be bridled.
21:53But I did leave you at the altar.
21:55Oh, you know I hold no ill will toward you for that.
22:02Could we just stop for a second?
22:04This whole getting left at the altar thing, I just don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling.
22:10I may be able to illuminate that point.
22:13What you are feeling is that this woman has reached into your chest, plucked out your heart, and thrown it to her hellhounds for a chew toy.
22:29And it's not the last time, either.
22:34Because that's what this woman is.
22:35She is the devil.
22:37It's no use running away from her.
22:39Because no matter how far you go, no matter how many years you let pass,
22:43you will never be completely out of reach of those bony fingers.
22:47So drink hearty, Franklin, and laugh.
22:53Because you have made a pact with Beelzebub.
22:57And her name is Marianne!
22:59Dianne.
23:19Frasier.
23:21I thought we should talk.
23:22Well, yes, I think we should.
23:24I tried to reach you at your home.
23:26I was driving around.
23:29I'm sorry if I in any way misled you about my feelings these past few weeks.
23:36You didn't, Dianne.
23:38I think I misled myself.
23:41Well, at the very least, I obviously owe you an apology for the first time that things went awry between us.
23:49That's all right.
23:50No, it was a time in my life when...
23:53No, Dianne, it isn't necessary.
23:55The things I said, well, they just needed saying.
24:02Besides, I don't really feel all that harshly.
24:05And in retrospect, I'm reasonably sure that you are not the devil.
24:10Although he does have the power to assume pleasing shapes.
24:18Well, you should know I've decided to go back to Los Angeles.
24:27Watching the play tonight through fresh eyes, I...
24:30Well, I just don't think it's ready.
24:34I'm sure things will work out fine.
24:36Well, I think I've said what I came to say.
24:42Frasier, um, before you go, there's one last thing you could help me with.
24:51Not that you haven't helped me a lot already, but it's the last scene where Franklin and Marianne say goodbye.
25:00It's never felt quite right to me, I'd like her to stand right about here and tell him how much he's meant to her and how she'll never forget him.
25:20Well, how do you suppose Franklin would respond to that?
25:34Well, I suppose he'd, uh, tell her that he feels the same way.
25:42That she's touched him in ways she can never imagine.
25:46He's glad that she was in his life.
25:50All that would be left would be the goodbye.
25:55How do you see that?
25:57Well, I suppose you could say, uh, until we meet again.
26:05Probably certain that they never would.
26:09But mightn't there be a part of him that hopes they would?
26:16Oh, I suppose so, yes.
26:17All right, then, don't have them sum things up, just let them say their goodbyes and their paths happen to cross again, so be it.
26:26Goodbye, Marianne.
26:33Goodbye, Marianne.
26:37Goodbye, Franklin.
26:39Oh, yes, that's a perfect moment.
26:41Uncluttered by any extra words or phrases.
26:44Oh, shoot, I've blown it.
26:49Well, let's try it again.
26:50Goodbye, Brianne.
27:01Goodbye, Dianne.
27:05Goodbye, Frish.
27:06I've been doing it all week.
27:33Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling.
27:47Tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
27:51Quite stylish.
27:53And maybe I seem a bit confused.
27:55Well, maybe.
27:57But I got you pegged.
27:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
28:01But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
28:08They're calling again.
28:12Good night!
28:12You