• 5 years ago
Not Rated | 30min | Comedy,TV Series | Episode aired 30 November 1952

Jack is pestered by a young autograph seeker, then Bob Crosby sings a medley of songs from "Peter Pan" to the child. After the show, Jack has trouble getting to sleep because of a leaky faucet and forces Rochester to rock his bed. Finally asleep, a pair of burglars try to ransack Jack's bedroom but are defeated by his booby traps.

Director: Ralph Levy

Writers: Sam Perrin, George Balzer, Milt Josefsberg, John Tackaberry

Stars: Jack Benny, Bob Crosby, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson
Transcript
00:00The Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike.
00:08What do you think of that?
00:17Oh, she sure is pretty.
00:18Yeah.
00:18I wonder why they left out that cigarette tearing business.
00:21I guess they figured most everybody knows how to do it.
00:23Can you?
00:24Sure, it's easy.
00:25Go ahead, try it.
00:28You got to start in with a lucky from a new pack.
00:30One that isn't all beat up.
00:32Okay, now find a seam.
00:34That's it.
00:35You got to start the seam.
00:36Now, tear it down the seam from one end to the other.
00:38How am I doing?
00:39Fine.
00:40Take your time, though.
00:41Don't dig into it or rough it up.
00:45Okay, now lift out the tobacco.
00:48Real careful.
00:50There, you see?
00:51Anybody can do it.
00:53Yeah, sure.
00:54But what's it prove?
00:55Here's what it proves.
00:57See how the Lucky holds together without crumbling.
01:00A perfect cylinder of fine tobacco.
01:02Without loose ends that get in your mouth and spoil the taste.
01:06That's why Lucky's taste cleaner.
01:09And you'll notice there aren't any empty air spaces.
01:11Hot spots that burn too fast and give you a harsh hot taste.
01:15No, because a Lucky is fully packed.
01:18See those long strands of fresh, mild, good tasting tobacco.
01:22That's why Lucky's taste fresher.
01:24And lastly, that fine tobacco aroma tells you Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.
01:30Fine, naturally mild tobacco that's firmly packed, but so perfectly shredded it always draws freely and smokes evenly.
01:39That's why Lucky's taste smoother.
01:41Yes, Lucky's are made better.
01:44And because they are made better, they taste better.
01:47So friends, for a cleaner, fresher, smoother smoke, be happy.
01:51Go Lucky.
01:52Make your next carton Lucky Strike.
01:55♪
01:59Thank you, thank you very, very much.
02:13Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Lucky Strike program.
02:17I'm Jack Benny.
02:18Well the reason I mention that is because
02:21CBS has just added a new station in Mexico, you see.
02:26And I look so much like Tito Guzzard.
02:32But you know, this is our third show, television show.
02:35And our last show, the one we did about four weeks ago,
02:38we did a play called Buck Benny Rides Again.
02:42And we had the most terrific response after that show.
02:46We got so many wonderful letters.
02:49Really, I can't tell you how many letters we got.
02:51And they were from such intelligent people, too, you know.
02:54As a matter of fact, I got one letter from a college professor.
03:00Did you know that execrable means lousy?
03:03But anyway, here we are doing another show.
03:15Gosh, the way time flies, I can't get over it, you know.
03:17It just seems like, I don't know, it goes by so fast, you see.
03:20Here we are already tomorrow, December 1st.
03:23Then next week, December 8th, December 16th.
03:29And there's...
03:32Then there's 106 days only till March 15th.
03:39That's the government's Christmas.
03:43I think I'll have to pay a lot this year, too.
03:45But then what can I do?
03:46I mean, you know, I'm too old to cry.
03:50And it hurts too much to laugh.
04:00I was quoting Lincoln there.
04:02Ladies and gentlemen,
04:08now we want to get on with the show.
04:10And first of all, I'd like to introduce...
04:12Oh, before I introduce Bob Crosby,
04:14I must tell you that the last time Bob Crosby was on my show,
04:18I've never heard anybody complain as much as he did.
04:21You know, I had him singing a song
04:23right out here on the floor, you see.
04:25Then he complained because I didn't give him scenery.
04:27He's always complaining.
04:28Doesn't like the orchestra, his salary.
04:31I never heard anybody complain as much as Crosby does.
04:33Really, I frankly, I think his whole attitude is exequrible.
04:38So this time I promised him that I'd give him some scenery.
04:46Oh, fellas, would you please let me have that curtain
04:49that I brought over this morning, that scene in the park?
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19:02I get so tired all the time.
19:03I'm sure it could be nurangees.
19:04I'm sure it could be a wiele.
19:05Boy, am I tired.
19:06I don't know.
19:07Oh, I get a bit all...
19:08Oh, boy.
19:09Oh, boy.
19:10I feel good in bed.
19:11I wonder what Minneapolis's last name is.
19:12Well, I'm not going to worry about it now.
19:13Let me get the bed.
19:14Looks good.
19:15A little cold.
19:16Oh, that darn faucet's dripping again.
19:29I've had to go to the lobby for a million times to fix that faucet.
19:40I've had to go to the lobby for a million times to fix that faucet.
20:07I've had to go to the lobby for a million times to fix that faucet.
20:34Rochester!
20:35Rochester!
20:36Yes, boss?
20:37Rochester, I asked you a thousand times to fix that dripping faucet.
20:56Now listen.
20:57No, it's stopped.
20:58You can go back to bed.
20:59So it's stopped.
21:02Well, you can go back to bed, then.
21:09Yes.
21:10Good night, boss!
21:17Good night, Rochester.
21:23Rochester!
21:24Yes, boss.
21:25It's stopped again.
21:26Hey, wait a minute.
21:27I got an idea.
21:28Come here.
21:29Okay.
21:31Goodnight, boss!
21:34Goodnight, Rochester!
21:37I knew it!
21:40I knew it!
21:43Now go fix that pot.
21:48Yes, I'll turn it off for a while.
21:54I'm talking about him!
22:01Well, boss, you better try to get some sleep.
22:04How can I sleep now?
22:05I was sleepy a few minutes ago.
22:07Now I'm wide awake.
22:09The only way I'll fall asleep, Rochester,
22:10we'll have to do what we always do.
22:12Oh, boss, that's too much trouble.
22:14I don't care whether it's trouble or not.
22:16That's the only way I'll get to sleep.
22:18Oh, all right.
22:20Thanks.
22:24I'll get some sleep.
22:54Not so fast, I forgot to take a dramamine.
22:57Okay.
22:58Not so fast, I forgot to take a dram of me.
23:01Okay.
23:02Okay.
23:03Okay.
23:04Okay.
23:05Okay.
23:06Okay.
23:08Okay.
23:10Okay.
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26:31What's the matter?
26:32The window stuck.
26:35The window stuck?
26:36Let me try it.
26:40Hey, what is this?
26:44A coin slot.
26:45A coin slot.
26:46To open window deposit 25 cents.
26:58Jack we'll back in just a moment.
27:00at first.
27:02Friends,
27:04it's true, you know.
27:06Luckies are made better to taste better.
27:08Cleaner, fresher,
27:10smoother. And you remember
27:12that the next time you buy cigarettes.
27:14It's awfully important, because golly,
27:16in a cigarette, it's the taste
27:18that makes the difference.
27:20And Luckies do taste cleaner,
27:22fresher, smoother.
27:24So come on, be happy.
27:26Go Lucky, make your next carton.
27:28Lucky Strike.
27:30Be happy, go Lucky,
27:32get better taste
27:34today.
27:50Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
27:52I don't know whether you liked the show or not.
27:54I know I took it lying down.
27:58That's the kind of a show I like, where you don't have much
28:00to do, you know. Incidentally,
28:02were the burglars funny?
28:04The reason I don't know is because
28:06I fell sound asleep.
28:10Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, I do
28:12hope you liked the show. And we'll be
28:14back again four weeks
28:16from today. Is my time up
28:18now? Huh? Because I'd like to
28:20tell them. Can I talk just
28:22a second more? Oh. Well, I just
28:24want to tell you that on the
28:26show, we're going to try and do
28:28one of our New Year's
28:30fantasies. Remember the ones we used to do
28:32always on radio?
28:34And it's a sort of a semi,
28:36you know, comedy
28:38and dramatic thing, which I hope you'll enjoy.
28:40And anyway, we will see you then
28:42four weeks from today. Thank you.
29:15This is the CBS
29:17Television Network.

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