30min | Comedy, Short, TV Series | Episode aired 6 July 1953
Harry Morton's friends plan a surprise party for his birthday, but Gracie mistakenly thinks the party is for George and she accidentally has Harry committed to a sanitarium.
Director: Ralph Levy
Writers: Sid Dorfman, Harvey Helm, Nate Monaster, Jesse Goldstein, William Burns
Stars: George Burns, Gracie Allen, Harry von Zell
Harry Morton's friends plan a surprise party for his birthday, but Gracie mistakenly thinks the party is for George and she accidentally has Harry committed to a sanitarium.
Director: Ralph Levy
Writers: Sid Dorfman, Harvey Helm, Nate Monaster, Jesse Goldstein, William Burns
Stars: George Burns, Gracie Allen, Harry von Zell
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh, hello. Come on in. What are you doing?
00:11Oh, making coasters out of pancakes. See?
00:14What are you going, bland shopping? No.
00:20Gracie, did you say you were making coasters out of pancakes?
00:27Mm-hmm. Oh, well, I can't take all the credit. George suggested it.
00:31Sorry, Steve? Mm-hmm. I served him pancakes this morning.
00:36My mother's special recipe, you know. And he didn't even finish one.
00:40He said, you know, these are too good to eat. You ought to shellac them and use them as coasters.
00:45I should have been at the office longer. Goodbye, beautiful.
00:49Goodbye, Harry. Don't forget, Blanche is pretty, too.
00:58Say, Gracie, today's Harry's birthday, and I'm on my way to the beauty shop to get a permanent.
01:08Oh, why don't you give him something he can use?
01:12You're right. I'll get the permanent for me. Oh, good.
01:16No, really, honey. I got him a hunting hat and some wooden ducks.
01:20Oh, he'll love them. Yeah, I know. And look, sweetie, would you do me a favor?
01:24I'm expecting Harry's present, so would you go over to my house and wait?
01:28And when it gets there, hide it in the hall closet. Oh, sure. I'll go right now.
01:33Okay. Hello, Blanche. Oh, hi, George.
01:35Gracie, have you seen my, um, uh...
01:39What are these? The pancakes we had for breakfast. I made them into coasters.
01:43Oh, yes, I remember. You did a nice little job there.
01:47Gracie, have you seen my new blue shorts? George, show them to me later.
01:51Now, Blanche, have you seen...
01:55Uh, no. I meant, has Mr. Smith brought them back from the laundry?
01:59Back? Yeah. Oh, you just meant to have them washed.
02:04Well, of course. Well, I told him they were a gift.
02:07A gift? Well, that's what you said. You said when you give these to Mr. Smith,
02:11tell him to be careful of the buttons.
02:14Yeah, but I meant for Mr. Smith... Oh, and he is.
02:18He told me he's worn them three times and he hasn't lost one button.
02:25Well, look, Gracie, I've got to go, honey, and you better get over to my house.
02:29Oh, all right. See you later, dear. Bye, Blanche. Bye.
02:37Hello? Hello. Is this the Morton home?
02:39Yes, it is. Is your husband there?
02:42My husband? No, he isn't. In fact, you're lucky to catch me here.
02:46Well, this is Charlie Hawthorne. Of course you don't know me,
02:49but some of us at the club are giving your husband a surprise party tonight.
02:53A surprise party for my husband? Really?
02:55Yes. All the boys like him. He's always doing nice things for everybody.
02:59Oh, he certainly is. Only this morning he showed me how to make coasters out of hotcakes.
03:08We're all coming over tonight, so don't let him leave the house.
03:12Oh, no, I won't.
03:14And about refreshments, you don't have to worry about it. We'll take care of everything.
03:18All right. Oh, excuse me, there's somebody at the door.
03:21Well, goodbye, and remember, don't let Harry know about this.
03:25Oh, don't worry. I won't even let my husband know about it.
03:32Wonderful. They're going to give George a party.
03:35Get Harry home so he won't find out about it.
03:39Oh. Of May Company.
03:41May Company? Oh, you've got the wrong address. It's on Wilshire and Fairfax.
03:50Well, you're just wasting your time. I was in there. There's nobody home.
03:55Don't say that again.
03:59George, where are you going tonight?
04:01No place.
04:02Well, you'll have to make it another night because you've got to be here for the party they're giving you.
04:07Who's giving me a party?
04:08Well, the man who phoned about it said it was a surprise party.
04:11And if I tell you who it was, it would spoil the surprise.
04:19That's funny.
04:21I wonder why they're giving me a party.
04:25This is my birthday. I just had one in 1945.
04:29It isn't our anniversary.
04:31If I knew who was giving me the party, maybe I could figure out why.
04:36Let's see. It couldn't be anybody in motion pictures because I'm not in that business.
04:41It couldn't be anybody in television because I am in that business.
04:47We had a party here once that people didn't like.
04:50I don't know why.
04:51I don't know why.
04:52I don't know why.
04:53I don't know why.
04:54I don't know why.
04:56We had a party here once that pretty near wrecked the place.
05:00And in the morning, Gracie and I came down to straighten things out.
05:03You know how you look in the overstuffed furniture to see if people dropped bobby pins and matches?
05:09I found Phil Harris.
05:13That was some party that night.
05:16By 12.30, I said I'd like to sing a few songs and the guests formed a circle around the piano.
05:21By the time I broke through, I was too tired to sing.
05:26They'd think I'm pathetic.
05:29But I did get a lot of presents.
05:31Georgie Jessel brought a box of cigars.
05:33Eddie Cantor brought a tie.
05:35Jack Penny brought Mary.
05:39Well, anyway, about three weeks after the party, I was talking to Phil Harris and we had a big laugh over it.
05:44In fact, he was in such a good humor that I finally got him to go home.
05:50Well, I still don't know who's giving me the sociable tonight.
05:53Well, I gotta make preparations.
05:55Excuse me, I gotta blow up some balloons.
06:01I have something very important to tell you.
06:02Why?
06:03Well, George's friends are giving him a surprise party tonight and you and Harry are invited.
06:09So be here at 8 o'clock sharp.
06:13For George?
06:15His friends are always planning surprise parties for him.
06:18They are?
06:19They are.
06:20Well, I'll bet in the last year I must have heard ten people say,
06:24don't tell George Burns we're giving a party this week.
06:30So, it's Harry's birthday and George is getting a party, huh?
06:36Mm-hmm.
06:38Well, we'll be here.
06:41Gracie, you're cute.
06:43Ah, you're just saying that because Harry thinks I'm beautiful.
06:49Uh, Harry, maybe you can give me a little information about this party tonight.
06:55Well, I'd rather not, George. She's a little sensitive.
07:00She? Who's she?
07:02Myrtle. She's the party I'm taking to the Macombo tonight. What party are you talking about?
07:08Okay, be subtle.
07:10Well, so long.
07:11Harry, what are you getting for a present?
07:14Well, I don't know, George. Last time Myrtle gave me a cigarette lighter.
07:23This party's like a wake. Everybody knows what's going on except the guest of honor.
07:29Hello, dear.
07:31Man, what a fine club I belong to.
07:35It burns me up.
07:37I sat there for two hours. You'd think one of my friends would come up and mention my birthday.
07:42Nobody.
07:43Well, maybe they didn't know about it.
07:46Didn't know about it? A messenger boy came in and sang happy birthday right in front of me still. Nobody said a word.
07:53Well, it shows that somebody cared enough about you to spend a dollar and a quarter for a wire.
07:58A dollar and a half. I had to tip the kid, too.
08:04Harry, you probably shouldn't know this, but you look so unhappy.
08:09They're giving you a surprise party tonight, but don't let on like you know about it.
08:14That's great, but it doesn't excuse the rest of my friends.
08:17After all I've done for that club.
08:20Well, just relax. We'll have fun at the Burns' tonight.
08:23Joe Kirk looking out the window all the time the kid was singing happy birthday.
08:28Harry, you've still got me.
08:31Larry Brown turned his back on me as soon as I came in.
08:34Harry, you've still got me.
08:35You've still got me.
08:37Was practically ignored by the whole club.
08:40You've still got me.
08:42Please, Blanche, I feel bad enough.
08:45Well, I'm back. This thing is driving me crazy. I still don't know who's giving me that party.
08:51Well, I got an idea. Tell Gracie I'm going out for the evening and then to keep me here, she'll have to tell me all about it.
08:57Gracie!
08:59Yes, dear?
09:01I'm going out for the evening.
09:02Oh, good. Have a nice time.
09:07Uh, are you sure it's okay for me to go out?
09:11Well, sure.
09:13Harry Von Zell forgot to mail my letter.
09:16If there's any reason at all for me to stay, I'll be glad to.
09:20No reason I can think of.
09:23Oh, but when you go, will you mail this for me?
09:25Yeah, but I'll go up and shave first.
09:28Oh, no. You don't need to do that.
09:29Wait till nobody's looking, then drop it in the mail box and run.
09:39Well, Gracie.
09:41Oh, hello, Harry.
09:43I want to thank you for inviting me to the party tonight. I told Myrtle she's coming with me.
09:46Oh, good.
09:48Oh, Harry, will you help me get that sugar down, please?
09:51I will.
09:55I thought there might be something I could do to help you get ready.
09:57Oh, no, Harry. They're bringing all the refreshments.
09:59Hey, but can you run down and get some place cards?
10:01Place cards? Sure.
10:03Yeah, and try to get some place cards with the names already written on them.
10:07Huh?
10:09Well, I can't write the names on them. I have no idea who'll be here.
10:14Oh, well, all right. I'll ask for some of the names already on them.
10:18All right. Oh, Harry, sit down. Relax.
10:22What happened?
10:24I just remembered. You don't have to bother. George can get everything.
10:27Oh.
10:29He's not going out for this evening.
10:32Gracie George can't go out. The party's for him. We've got to keep him here.
10:37Oh, I never thought of that.
10:39Oh, Harry, how can we keep him here?
10:42Well, we have to think of some way to...
10:45Huh?
10:47How about sleeping pills?
10:49Oh, no, Harry. If we'd sleep, we wouldn't think of anything.
10:54Uh, mm-hmm.
10:56Oh, I got it.
10:58Why don't we do to George what we did to a friend of mine
11:01to be sure he'd be home when we gave him a surprise party?
11:04Uh, what did you do?
11:06Well, I have this friend, Dr. Nelson. He has a little sanitarium out in the valley.
11:10Now, Dr. Nelson will send an attendant.
11:12The attendant will take George out to the sanitarium and keep him there
11:16till it's time for the party. Then you can go out and get him.
11:19Oh, that's wonderful.
11:20It works every time.
11:22Oh, say, Gracie, Dr. Nelson won't tell the attendant that this is a gag, see?
11:27Uh-huh.
11:29So when the fella comes for George, you be sure and tell him
11:31that he's as nutty as a fruitcake.
11:33Is that what you want me to tell him?
11:35Sure.
11:36Okay.
11:37I'll see you later.
11:42Harry, we've been talking for an hour.
11:45Okay, so they forgot your birthday.
11:47A year ago today, right after lunch,
11:50they gave me a party right in my own office.
11:53Thought they pulled a million gags on me.
11:56What laughs.
11:58Today, nobody even says happy birthday.
12:01Oh, cheer up, Harry. Maybe they haven't forgotten you.
12:04Maybe they just ignored it because they don't like you.
12:09Thanks. Now I feel better.
12:12Harry, so that it doesn't happen again,
12:14I feel better.
12:16Harry, so that it won't be a total loss,
12:19happy birthday.
12:21Oh, thanks, George.
12:23Yeah, I appreciate that.
12:24Ah, it was nothing.
12:25I know it was nothing, but it's the best I've had today.
12:28How about a little walk?
12:30No, I'm going to stay here.
12:31Well, see you later.
12:35Mrs. Burns?
12:36Yes?
12:37I'm from Dr. Nelson's sanitarium.
12:38Oh, I've got a message for you from Harry Von Zell.
12:41He says you're nuttier than a fruitcake.
12:45Come on.
12:53Well, where is he?
12:54He's out there. He's smoking a cigar.
12:58You can't miss him.
12:59He's got blue eyes and he looks like any man
13:01who's just shaved so he can mail a letter.
13:05Must have been an airmail letter.
13:06He seems to have shaved the top of his head.
13:10Say, by the way, aren't you from San Francisco?
13:14Uh, no.
13:15Are you sure?
13:17You're dressed just like the man who used to come
13:19and pick up my Uncle Harvey.
13:29Have a look at that pickup order.
13:32Yep.
13:33It says mail.
13:45Are you looking for somebody?
13:46Yeah, I'm looking for someone to take a little walk with me.
13:51How about you?
13:52Me?
13:53Sure.
13:54Come on along.
13:55Well, where are we going?
13:56Well, I can't exactly tell you that.
14:01I get it.
14:02The boys are getting married.
14:04I get it.
14:05I get it.
14:06I get it.
14:07I get it.
14:08I get it.
14:09I get it.
14:10I get it.
14:11I get it.
14:12I get it.
14:13The boys at the club have cooked up something.
14:15Yeah, that's right.
14:16And they're all down there, too.
14:18We don't want to keep them waiting, do we?
14:19There's Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Nathan Hale.
14:23And Charlie Hawthorne.
14:24What a sense of humor.
14:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:26Charlie's there, too.
14:27Hey, wait a minute.
14:28I got a great idea.
14:29Let's give Charlie and the other boys a laugh.
14:32Sure.
14:33It's a pair of handcuffs, huh?
14:34Uh, yeah.
14:35Well, get them out.
14:36Get them out.
14:37Here.
14:38Put them on.
14:39See?
14:40Okay.
14:41Oh, this is going to kill them.
14:42Oh, it sure will.
14:43Here we go.
14:49Harry.
14:52Wonder where he is.
14:53Boy, is he depressed.
14:59Nothing to prove.
15:03I know what'll cheer him up.
15:06Tonight at the party, I'll fix him a nice big chocolate birthday cake.
15:09He loves chocolate.
15:10Last year, Blanche fixed him one for his birthday,
15:12and he ate it so fast, we had to pry his mouth open to blow out the candles.
15:19Still don't know who's giving me that party tonight.
15:22Oh, George.
15:24Excuse me.
15:27Yes, Gracie?
15:28Oh, there you are.
15:29I was just out to Dr. Nelson's sanitarium to get you, but you weren't there.
15:34Dr. Nelson's sanitarium?
15:37Of course not.
15:38Of course not.
15:39But the trip wasn't wasted.
15:40Harry Morton happened to be there, so I got him out.
15:43What was he doing there?
15:45Well, I don't even know what the man with the white coat was doing there.
15:47He certainly wasn't very smart.
15:50Man with a white coat?
15:52Yeah, I had to talk to him about 20 minutes before he let Harry go,
15:55and then Harry had to talk to him an hour before he let me go.
16:02Uh, you had quite a hectic day.
16:04Yes, I did.
16:05Yes, I did.
16:06And I had plenty of trouble with Herbert, too.
16:08Herbert?
16:09Yeah, the cab driver who drove me out to Dr. Nelson's place.
16:12Why didn't you take our car to the sanitarium?
16:14Well, there was nothing wrong with our car.
16:16I went out to get you.
16:19So you said.
16:20Anyway, that cab driver was certainly silly.
16:25I told him I wanted to get to Dr. Nelson's place.
16:27I gave him $5, and I told him I was in a hurry.
16:30He said, all right, I'll step on it.
16:32So I said, well, get me to the sanitarium first.
16:34Then you can step on it, sit on it, hide it out.
16:36I don't care what you do.
16:39Well, they're just not making cab drivers like they used to.
16:43No.
16:44Well, anyway, I said to Herbert.
16:45I said, Herbert, are you sure?
16:47How did you know his name was Herbert?
16:48Well, the same way I knew his wife's name was Alice.
16:51Well, how did you know her name was Alice?
16:53Herbert told me.
16:55Well, we must have Herbert and Alice over for dinner some night.
16:58They're coming Tuesday.
16:59Well, good, good.
17:01Well, anyway, I said to Herbert.
17:02I said, Herbert, are you sure you know where Dr. Nelson's place is?
17:06And he says, oh, sure.
17:08In fact, this afternoon, I brought a man out there to get sobered up.
17:12And I said, well, I hope it worked.
17:14If it didn't, I'd better do the driving.
17:19Um, was he, was he sober?
17:22I don't think so.
17:24Otherwise, why did he keep seeing things?
17:27Herbert kept seeing things?
17:29Yes, I asked him why he was slowing down.
17:31He said, well, can't you see a school crossing?
17:38And, uh, and it, it didn't?
17:41Never moved an inch.
17:44Well, then what?
17:45Well, we finally got to Dr. Nelson's place.
17:48And I got Harry out, and Harry got me out, and then we followed Alice.
17:52To get Herbert out?
17:54I don't know.
17:56Well, any man couldn't see a school crossing is not do well.
17:59No.
18:00Well, I better go get dressed.
18:01I have a million things to do before the guests arrive.
18:08I'm dying to see who they are.
18:11I don't know how you got to Dr. Nelson's,
18:13but it was just a good thing that Gracie was there to get you out.
18:16I was able to help her a little, too.
18:19Well, anyway, tonight we'll celebrate at George and Gracie's.
18:23We'll have a wonderful time.
18:25Oh, I want to get you a birthday present.
18:26Ah, mm-hmm.
18:27Happy birthday to me.
18:29Happy birthday to me.
18:31Happy birthday, Harry Morton.
18:34Happy...
18:36Oh, oh, oh.
18:38Isn't that wonderful?
18:39Ah, it's great.
18:41That's from George.
18:42George, huh?
18:49I'm nervous, too.
18:50Ah, matched woods.
18:52That's wonderful.
18:54Oh, that's just great.
18:55Oh, that's just great.
18:57And this is from Harry Bonzeau.
18:58Harry Bonzeau.
19:02Oh, it's a lighter, a cigarette lighter.
19:05It's got an inscription.
19:07To Harry...
19:09from Myrtle.
19:13This is from Gracie.
19:14Gracie?
19:15Yeah.
19:26Oh.
19:28Ah.
19:34Isn't that clever?
19:36Just what I've always wanted.
19:38What is it?
19:40I don't know.
19:42Gracie told me they only had one left
19:45and the clerk said they couldn't get any more.
19:48Yes, and...
19:50And this is from me, Harry.
19:52Oh, Gracie.
19:54Happy birthday.
20:00Blast.
20:02Wooden decoys.
20:04Oh, blast.
20:06Every time I put one of these in the water,
20:08I'll think of you.
20:12I fail to see the resemblance.
20:15Oh, I didn't mean that.
20:17I meant this.
20:19Oh, that's different.
20:22Oh, a hooking cap, huh?
20:23Uh-huh.
20:27How do I look?
20:30Wait, I'll throw a stick
20:31and you can run and fetch it.
20:34Come on, let's go.
20:35We've got to get over to that party.
20:36I don't want to miss it.
20:37I've got to go over there and act surprised.
20:38And don't forget.
20:45It must be a joke or something.
20:47It's ten minutes after 11
20:48and nobody's showing up.
20:50Gracie, this man that phoned that
20:52is giving me this party,
20:54what was his name?
20:56Charlie Hawthorne.
20:57Charlie Hawthorne.
20:59Charlie Hawthorne?
21:03He's the president of my club.
21:07This whole thing is beginning
21:08to make a little sense now.
21:10Hello?
21:11Hello, this is Harry Morton speaking.
21:13Harry, where are you?
21:14We've been waiting for you.
21:16We went to your house
21:17but there was nobody there
21:18so we started the party here at the club.
21:20Come on, get over here.
21:22Well, Charlie, I've got some people here.
21:24I'll bring them all over.
21:26Okay, yeah, I'll be right over.
21:29I knew the boys wouldn't let me down.
21:31Charlie Hawthorne's invited us
21:32all over to a party.
21:34Well, let's go.
21:35But I hope he gives you a better party
21:36than the one he just gave George.
21:38Come on, Myrtle.
21:39Come on, let's go.
21:49Appearing on tonight's show
21:50were Myron Healy as the attendant,
21:52Frank Gerstle as Charlie Hawthorne,
21:54and Dick Bowman as the delivery boy.
22:13The Burns and Allen Show
22:14was a film presentation
22:15of the New York Times.
22:16The Burns and Allen Show
22:17was a film presentation...