Did What They Pleased (Spoken Poem with Music)

Partial Lyrics:

Did What They Pleased

My fairy godmother got into a bar fight
With my guardian angel over the unusual
Noise coming from their mouth
The room was a little too small
For the two of them
and I had to separate them in the booking
The manager came in and was screaming
At all the employees that this was a trap house
And everyone needed to start respecting it
Or get the hell out
The back windshield of my house
Was totaled and so I went to lodge a complaint

There was no king at the time
And people just did what they pleased

The place was empty save for a gang of felines
That held up pocket knives in my general directions
But I was not too concerned
After all I had brought in my bodyguard from college
Who had gotten a scholarship from the alcoholic
Coffee brewer who was poisoned by a selection
Of organic raisins given to him by a mixed up demonstrator
Who had decided that he no longer needed his arms
And legs and honestly at this point who could blame him

There was no king at the time
And people just did what they pleased


The shake mixer is designing the most complicated drink
In the county and has a list of ingredients
That he’s imprinted on an Egyptian scroll
Used by Ramses in order to keep up with
His food supply when everyone was honking
At the border and tattering their own clothes
For some reason that I didn’t quite understand
But I didn’t know how to decipher the hieroglyphics
And haven’t read a newspaper in years honestly

There was no king at the time
And people just did what they pleased


So I got questioned and had to show
That I recognized all the city skylines
But the problem was that I had mined my brain out
In an attempt to raise money for the poor boys
Down the street always on their music players
And really the reward system was a little backwards
As the greedy rats were raking in millions
For being in a developing country that had misplaced their cabinets

There was no king at the time
And people just did what they pleased

The couple had a monster from space
Invade their house and they were so
Tired of arguing with each other
The husband unhinged the jaws of
The alien and as its slime dripped from it
The husband drug her and himself inside
And closed the mouth, unconcerned
As to what would happen next or that
Their sequel would be a cheap knockoff
With the guy who will be in anything
Playing the futuristic android version of himself

There was no king at the time
And people just did what they pleased

I fell asleep listening to the record and
When I awoke it was over
I had to piece together what it had said
And what place in my life it was supposed to have
I searched for it and scrambled through
My collection until the governor came in
And kicked my door a few times
Trying to educate me on the laws
Of physics that he’d passed during
His lame duck term and now
His successor is stuck with it
But oh well

There was no king at the time
And people just did what they pleased