On this episode of the Jeff Fenster Show, Anthony Trucks shares his success formula and advice on how to achieve greatness. He emphasizes the importance of hard work, taking action, and identity-shifting to succeed. He also talks about dark work and the challenging program 'Seventy Five Hard', and encourages listeners to reach out for coaching and accountability.
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00:00:00 When I first got out of the NFL, I went and opened a gym business and I struggled.
00:00:03 I almost went bankrupt in the first like nine months and I hired a coach.
00:00:06 And I think the thing is, is I didn't believe that doing the work would get me what I wanted.
00:00:10 And what they fail to realize is an exception becomes a rule.
00:00:13 You change either on demand or when crap hits the fan.
00:00:15 99% of people is when crap hits the fan.
00:00:17 Today on the show, we have a remarkable guest who went from NFL player to a transformational
00:00:38 identity shift coach.
00:00:39 At just three years old, our guests entered the foster care system facing massive odds
00:00:44 that were stacked against him.
00:00:46 In high school, despite having never played football, he set his sights on making the
00:00:50 varsity football team.
00:00:52 Despite lacking skills, he persevered and even earned a full ride scholarship to the
00:00:56 University of Oregon, where he ultimately reached the NFL.
00:00:59 However, due to an injury, he was forced to pivot and embarked on a journey of entrepreneurship.
00:01:05 The road was extremely tough with ups and downs, and he even lost it all at one point.
00:01:10 Yet in his darkest moment, he found hope and new purpose.
00:01:14 A conversation with a friend made him realize his potential to inspire others.
00:01:18 He has since become a motivational speaker, bestselling author, and a source of guidance
00:01:22 for those feeling stuck and uninspired.
00:01:25 He coaches others through the essential identity shift needed to create the life you deserve.
00:01:30 Please welcome to the show, my good friend, Anthony Trucks.
00:01:38 - Welcome to the show.
00:01:39 - Hey man.
00:01:40 - How are you?
00:01:41 - I'm great.
00:01:42 No complaints.
00:01:43 I'm so glad to have you here because, you know, one of the things that people don't
00:01:47 realize is as someone who's, I speak on stages and a lot of times I'm delivering value, but
00:01:52 I get so much more value than I get to deliver because I get to hear speakers that are on
00:01:57 stage that I didn't know.
00:01:58 And it was about three years ago, I was on a stage in Scottsdale and the man who went
00:02:02 right after me was you.
00:02:04 And I sat there listening to you speak.
00:02:07 And not only did I get inspired and motivated because of what you were saying, but how you
00:02:13 went through that process, the way you spoke on stage, it lit me up.
00:02:17 I was like fired up.
00:02:20 And I was so excited to begin our friendship at that moment.
00:02:23 And now have you here today.
00:02:24 - It's funny too, because when you actually messaged me like, "Hey, I got this thing,
00:02:28 you want to come down?"
00:02:29 I was like, I just booked the speech that I came from just now.
00:02:32 Right.
00:02:33 So like, oh dude, serendipitous timing.
00:02:34 It all worked out.
00:02:35 - So obviously you're an NFL, former NFL player who's now turned into a transformational coach.
00:02:40 And as I told you off air, the whole premise of our show is success formula.
00:02:45 People are successful because they follow a formula, whether or not they realize it
00:02:49 or not.
00:02:50 And part of your coaching program, I mean, you were telling me a little bit before we're
00:02:53 going to get into it on the show, but is identifying and clarifying that piece.
00:02:58 So what made you go from, I mean, obviously I don't have to ask you what made you want
00:03:02 to be an NFL player.
00:03:04 Every young boy in the world wants to do that.
00:03:05 - I didn't actually at first, it's a different, I didn't want to even, I didn't consider the
00:03:09 NFL until I was really like a junior in college.
00:03:12 - What were you thinking?
00:03:13 - I was thinking I'm out of high school.
00:03:14 I've had the opportunity of being a foster kid for me.
00:03:17 Like the next step was this, you know?
00:03:18 - No, but I mean, what were you thinking instead of football?
00:03:20 If it wasn't sport.
00:03:21 - Oh no, I loved football.
00:03:22 But I think that what I mean is I didn't have that kick out, like big vision.
00:03:26 I'm going to play in the NFL one day.
00:03:27 It's just not a reality for the foster kid that I was.
00:03:30 It was like, for me, it was like, man, I got a college scholarship.
00:03:33 I'm playing college football.
00:03:34 This is great.
00:03:35 And then at one point I got an agent reach out.
00:03:36 I'm like, why is he reaching out?
00:03:38 He's like, can I play in the NFL?
00:03:39 You know, like, so it wasn't this mentat of like a little kid growing up, because I was
00:03:42 the only athlete in my household.
00:03:44 No one thought of sports like that.
00:03:45 And so it wasn't an actual realistic possibility until like my junior year at college.
00:03:50 Like, oh crap, like I might be able to play with the highest level in the world for this,
00:03:53 you know?
00:03:54 And so that was kind of the mentality, but I didn't grow up having that thought.
00:03:57 - That's actually surprising to me because usually it requires that to make it that far.
00:04:01 - Yeah.
00:04:02 - The big vision, the big dream that you're like, hey, I'm going to put in that work because.
00:04:05 - Well, I think what was for me, the work ethic was I didn't like the idea of doing
00:04:10 something and not giving my all to it.
00:04:13 So like when I was a kid growing up, I was 14, 15, I tried football for the first time
00:04:17 and I was horrible at the game.
00:04:18 And I realized that in order to be great, I had to do things that weren't part of my
00:04:21 normal character or part of my normal process, right?
00:04:23 This is, you know, ask what you're talking about.
00:04:25 So I go, what are great football players do?
00:04:26 They lift weights, they run routes, they do these things.
00:04:29 And so that was like, all right, well, I got to do that.
00:04:30 Although I didn't know how to do it.
00:04:31 I was out there running around like a probably crazy kid.
00:04:34 But in doing that, I started realizing like, oh, like this, this makes me a little bit
00:04:37 faster.
00:04:38 But what I didn't know was it was developing a different sense of self inside.
00:04:42 And so part of me goes, well, yesterday's Anthony, like he killed it.
00:04:46 Today's Anthony can't let yesterday's Anthony down.
00:04:47 Let's kill it again.
00:04:49 That became my set point.
00:04:50 And so even when I parent my kids now, I'm like, dude, anything you touch, like my twins
00:04:55 got in trouble the other day, I had to wash my car.
00:04:57 And so they're doing it and they left.
00:04:58 I drove to LA for my wife's track meet.
00:05:00 And so there's bugs in a windshield.
00:05:02 They didn't get the bugs.
00:05:03 I go, dude, you guys got to get the bugs.
00:05:05 Why?
00:05:06 That's no big deal.
00:05:07 I go, no, no.
00:05:08 Anytime you touch something, if you touch it, I don't care who comes, it could have
00:05:11 been shot in your shoes.
00:05:12 You could have been, you're ready to vacuum the house.
00:05:15 If you did that, there should be a pride around.
00:05:17 I did that so someone can see it and they go, that was a good job.
00:05:20 So anything you do, it has to be done like that.
00:05:22 This mentality I give my kids was born when I was a high school kid.
00:05:26 That's what got me a scholarship, got me to college, got me my, all this kind of thing.
00:05:29 So while it's never been something where like I have big dreams and big aspirations, for
00:05:34 that one, it was more tied to this is who I am as a human.
00:05:37 This is how I do things.
00:05:38 And so because of me doing things like that, it turned into that later.
00:05:42 Who taught you that though?
00:05:43 Nobody, man.
00:05:44 You were just born that way?
00:05:45 No, heck no.
00:05:46 Now you built it.
00:05:48 It's the repetitions that build it.
00:05:49 But there had to be a moment because you came from, through the foster system, which means
00:05:53 you probably didn't have that, unless maybe you did, that parental figure that could instill
00:05:58 that in you young.
00:06:00 Yeah, it's odd.
00:06:01 So somebody or something had to trigger where you had the epiphany, the awakening, the realization
00:06:06 that that is required.
00:06:07 You know what it was?
00:06:08 It was when I was, so I was 15 years old.
00:06:10 I had this window where like I didn't, I wasn't good at the game and I had to tuck away and
00:06:13 do what I call dark work.
00:06:14 So I'm wearing a shirt right now.
00:06:15 My mom wasn't built this way.
00:06:17 My dad wasn't built this way.
00:06:19 My foster mom, you know, none of these people had these, these traits.
00:06:22 And I think what it was for me was looking at the experience of life they had.
00:06:26 And then what I saw on TV, I'm like, I want to have that.
00:06:30 But if I do what they're doing, I'm not going to have that because look where they're at.
00:06:33 And so it's more of a thing where I go, I want to have more than what we have.
00:06:36 So what does that require?
00:06:37 What requires doing these things that are different.
00:06:39 And so in the process of doing that, it was more of like you do it and you get some feedback
00:06:43 like, okay, this works a little bit.
00:06:44 Like I do get a little fast, do get a little stronger.
00:06:46 When you do that, you, you practice better.
00:06:48 Coaches give you more coaching.
00:06:49 And then all of a sudden you make more plays and you get more notoriety and all the notoriety
00:06:52 turns into more opportunities.
00:06:53 And so that was kind of like the taste of like, well, if I do this and then that happens.
00:06:57 And so it wasn't a single person.
00:06:59 It was more of a realization of doing the work.
00:07:02 And I think the thing is, is I didn't believe that doing the work would get me what I wanted.
00:07:07 I found that I had a belief that if I didn't do the work, I wouldn't get what I wanted.
00:07:11 So I obviously, if I didn't want to get this, I had to do that to get that.
00:07:16 So it's more of this, I believed in what was going to happen in the negative, which led
00:07:22 me to go, all right, let's just go this way.
00:07:24 Because most people won't start things without a guarantee.
00:07:26 Most people go, well, I've got to make sure the effort that I put in is going to get me
00:07:29 this thing.
00:07:30 And I go, well, I can guarantee you two things.
00:07:31 Well, mostly one thing.
00:07:33 One thing is if you don't do it, you don't get it.
00:07:35 - That's a fact.
00:07:36 - That's a fact, right?
00:07:37 So if you do nothing different, you get this, right?
00:07:39 So like that reality sets in and I go, but if you do do it, let's say it doesn't pan
00:07:43 out, you're better.
00:07:45 You learn something you didn't know.
00:07:47 Most people want to go consume books and buy things all day, which is great, but that's
00:07:50 just a small sliver of what they could put into a book.
00:07:54 What they really know, they can't even teach you because they had to go through the experience
00:07:57 like you would have to, to really learn that.
00:07:59 And so for me, I go, I've learned so much on the path to something than I did from knowing
00:08:04 it before I started.
00:08:05 So I go, let me just start journeys.
00:08:06 So I start things with the intention of like, I don't know what I'm doing.
00:08:09 I don't 100% know what it's going to turn into, but I'm going to learn something I could
00:08:12 use later on.
00:08:13 So I do that.
00:08:14 And that's kind of how I think built that muscle as a kid doing it, as an entrepreneur
00:08:18 doing it.
00:08:19 My first job was a paper route.
00:08:20 I paid for my first year of football because we couldn't afford it.
00:08:22 So I was hawking papers to pay for football.
00:08:25 I bought my first cleats.
00:08:26 I had to get clearance though.
00:08:27 They were two sizes too big.
00:08:28 So I made toilet paper inserts.
00:08:30 I got toilet paper and I wrapped it with scotch tape, put it in my cleats.
00:08:33 But I learned like, wait, if I work at this, then I can create something.
00:08:37 My mom ain't got money, but the world has money.
00:08:39 And if I give value in some way and do something, I can make money to create a life for myself.
00:08:43 So that's kind of how this idea settled in.
00:08:45 And then I realized the better the work I did, the better the outcome.
00:08:48 It was where that idea comes of, well, how do you know?
00:08:51 How do you teach your kids this?
00:08:53 Well, I just realized through sheer experience of, if I do these things, I get something
00:08:57 better.
00:08:58 So that was kind of the seed and how it planted.
00:08:59 What I love about what you're saying is, as I mentioned, the success formula, you were
00:09:03 honing in that formula.
00:09:05 I mean, pretty young.
00:09:07 I have mine pretty dialed in now, but when I was 15, I didn't have that clarity.
00:09:11 I was building at 15.
00:09:12 I didn't have it dialed in then.
00:09:13 But you had the clarity, the maturity, the wherewithal to recognize that, hey, you know,
00:09:18 because the truth is success leaves clues.
00:09:21 It's all around us, right?
00:09:22 You don't have to be wealthy.
00:09:23 You don't have to come from a traditional family.
00:09:25 You can be a foster kid.
00:09:27 You could be exposed to new ideas and you can just look around and say, who do I want
00:09:30 to be like?
00:09:31 What do I want to achieve?
00:09:32 And what are they doing?
00:09:33 Because success leaves clues.
00:09:34 It does.
00:09:35 And kids, unfortunately, you know, what do they say?
00:09:38 Youth is wasted on the young and wisdom is wasted on the old.
00:09:42 Because when we're young, we don't recognize those clues.
00:09:44 And so it's fascinating to me that at that age, you had that wherewithal.
00:09:48 You know, I talk about my success formula being taking immediate decisive action, which
00:09:52 to you is, hey, I'm starting it.
00:09:54 I don't care what the outcome is.
00:09:55 And Kaizen, get 1% better every day.
00:09:57 Know I'm going to suck today, but I'll just keep working at it and eventually I'll be
00:10:00 better.
00:10:01 Right?
00:10:02 Which you're saying it in your own way.
00:10:04 But for your success formula, for the Anthony success formula that you applied to football
00:10:10 and now applied to parenthood and entrepreneurship, do you have that clearly defined?
00:10:15 To an extent.
00:10:16 I think my, if you talk about my formula, the things I do, I think there's a part of
00:10:20 me that is completely okay looking stupid.
00:10:24 And what I mean by that is we all have this connection.
00:10:26 We identify with the outcome as opposed to identify with the actions.
00:10:30 So when I identify with the outcome, I will consistently have a comparison where I fall
00:10:33 short and I suck at something.
00:10:36 So most people just don't start ugly because they're worried about being embarrassed.
00:10:39 There's actually this, my identity worked as a framework.
00:10:41 We structure, you know, the different types of identities and there's a dreamer who dreams
00:10:45 all day, doesn't take an action.
00:10:46 There's a person that's a dabbler, tries a bunch of stuff.
00:10:48 The moment something happens, it's difficult.
00:10:50 They can't push over it.
00:10:51 They make a good excuse to evade it and go find some new shiny object.
00:10:54 Then you have the defender, which we're talking about now.
00:10:57 The defender is someone that's had so much success in some area.
00:10:59 There's a fear around trying something new that will chip away at the past success.
00:11:03 And so I think for me, I don't mind looking stupid.
00:11:06 I've had success, but I go, yeah, I'm gonna do my thing.
00:11:09 And the way I can do this is I have an anchored sense of self.
00:11:12 I know what I can do.
00:11:13 I know who I am.
00:11:15 I don't worry about the world giving me a bunch of like high fives or, you know, because
00:11:18 I think Deion Sanders said something really, he's like, I don't care what you care about
00:11:22 me.
00:11:23 He says, because if I give you the control to help me feel good, you could make me feel
00:11:25 bad too.
00:11:26 You don't get to have that control.
00:11:27 I go, that's how I've lived my life.
00:11:28 I didn't think about it.
00:11:29 Right.
00:11:30 So for me, what allows me exactly, what allows me to be great as I go, there's a new thing
00:11:33 I want to try.
00:11:34 I have no idea how to do it.
00:11:36 I just figured it out.
00:11:37 You know, people, how do you just try these new things and jump in?
00:11:40 I go, why not, man?
00:11:41 Life's supposed to be opened up.
00:11:42 And so that pairs my desire to be great and give my all when I show up to something, it
00:11:47 seems to work out.
00:11:48 But I think there's, there's a part of me that initially goes, success is always going
00:11:53 to be the next level of success in the direction of something I don't know how to do right
00:11:56 now.
00:11:57 I never tried before.
00:11:58 And if I am too worried about how stupid I might look or how I may lose face in it, then
00:12:01 I don't try it.
00:12:02 So I miss out on the next opportunity.
00:12:03 I'm defending my success.
00:12:05 Like an undefeated boxer won't take a match because what if I lose a match, right?
00:12:09 Sure.
00:12:10 I'll get better, right?
00:12:11 So I lean in and do that.
00:12:12 And that's allowed me to try things that let me express my skill sets in areas I didn't
00:12:17 know I could have success.
00:12:18 And I go, man, imagine if I didn't try this, I would have missed out on this.
00:12:21 So I have success in this area that leads me to a new thing and a new thing and a new
00:12:24 thing.
00:12:25 That's kind of the way I operate on a daily basis.
00:12:27 My wife doesn't like it because she's like, you just do these things that are random.
00:12:30 I don't know what you're doing there all the time.
00:12:31 I go, that's okay.
00:12:32 I mean, my bills are paid, right?
00:12:33 We're good.
00:12:34 Yeah, we're good.
00:12:35 Life will continue on.
00:12:36 And I think outside of that, I just do hard stuff, man.
00:12:40 I think there is something we were talking about before I walked in here.
00:12:43 There is something in our world now where there's a, I think a desire to appease the
00:12:46 weaker part of us.
00:12:47 It's all, it'd be easy.
00:12:48 It should be simple.
00:12:49 It should be, I go, what if we just do something?
00:12:51 Cause it's hard though.
00:12:52 Cause there's something like, I love the idea of people say, well, the first rule of CrossFit
00:12:56 is talk about CrossFit, right?
00:12:57 And I go, it's funny as a joke, right?
00:12:59 But the reality is, is there's something tucked in that people don't notice, which is yes,
00:13:03 talk about CrossFit.
00:13:04 Why do they do it?
00:13:05 They do it because it's incredibly hard.
00:13:08 Which means I get very proud of myself cause I did the Murph, right?
00:13:11 It's so hard.
00:13:12 And you talk about it cause you're proud of the hard thing you did.
00:13:14 And I think we miss out on that.
00:13:16 And so for me, I do things that are hard or they felt like they're going to be hard sometimes
00:13:21 just for the purpose of feeling good about myself.
00:13:24 But I also know that it was hard for me, it was hard for somebody else.
00:13:27 And those who turned away from the hard don't get to access the next door of success.
00:13:30 - Well, and Andy Frisella talks about that and he uses it more monetarily, but he says
00:13:35 hard pays well.
00:13:37 You want to make it and you want to make money, hard pays well.
00:13:39 - I like that.
00:13:40 - And I look at it as, when you look at the easy, everyone can do it.
00:13:46 So that's the definition of average.
00:13:48 And we move average, the barometer for average goes up and down, right?
00:13:52 Because today an average marathon runner is a lot faster than it was 30 years ago.
00:13:58 So the average moves up to what the majority can accomplish.
00:14:02 Hard is what distinguishes greatness, excellence.
00:14:04 If you really want that, you've got to choose hard.
00:14:07 - You have to.
00:14:08 - And it's the foe, it's the enemy.
00:14:10 Every great hero story, there's a battle.
00:14:11 - It has to be there.
00:14:12 And I mean, it's great human stories, but it's also a great part of your story.
00:14:15 It's what allows you to feel good about yourself going forward too.
00:14:19 But it also, I think it unravels things in you.
00:14:22 There's actually, Dr. Peterson is the first that referenced it, but there's actually studies
00:14:26 that were done and they found that there's eustress and trauma stress.
00:14:31 And eustress is a decent stress, it's a good stress.
00:14:33 When we put eustress on our muscles, the muscles grow.
00:14:35 But they found that eustress to the brain, a certain level, release a certain protein
00:14:40 in the brain that encodes more of your dormant DNA.
00:14:44 So if you do a hard thing, to a genetic level, your body becomes more of who you already
00:14:49 are, dormant, right?
00:14:50 A man of faith, I believe God gave us some cool things to become great humans.
00:14:54 So I go, man, like, so doing this hard thing, it also genetically makes me a better human.
00:14:59 And so it's not just like doing a hard cause hard, but like, yeah, you separate yourself,
00:15:02 but you also create an individual inside that can separate themselves.
00:15:06 - Well, and to what you were saying earlier, you said, you'll start looking bad, but you'll
00:15:12 eventually learn and you'll figure it out.
00:15:14 I call it just in time learning, right?
00:15:16 Where I may not know how to do something, but just in time, I'll learn it.
00:15:19 - You'll figure it out.
00:15:20 - Right, and by trying and starting that path and telling the world I'm starting that path
00:15:24 and opening that to my network, to my exposure, I'm now enabling myself to see things I didn't
00:15:30 see before simply and solely because I took that first step.
00:15:35 And you say, as you just mentioned before, what it does to the brain, to have any kind
00:15:40 of growth, you have to put weight on it.
00:15:42 And so everyone who's sitting and observing and saying, I'm not where I want to be because,
00:15:46 and they have all their litany of excuses or reasons that they're not there.
00:15:50 What I'm trying to help deliver and what I'm hoping people will get from this show, and
00:15:54 for those listening, I hope you guys are really hearing what Anthony's saying is you can start
00:15:58 any at any point.
00:15:59 - Any point.
00:16:00 - And when you start throwing hard at yourself, the growth that comes from it is where all
00:16:06 that results lie.
00:16:07 - It is.
00:16:08 - It is hiding in plain sight.
00:16:09 - Yeah, it really is.
00:16:11 - There's no secrets.
00:16:12 - There's no secrets, man.
00:16:13 I just did the speech I gave, one of the slides on there, it says, now is always a new beginning.
00:16:17 That's it.
00:16:18 And it's like, if you look at it that way, the day's a new beginning, the new start,
00:16:21 it's like, okay, new beginning, what would you do if you had a fresh, clean slate?
00:16:24 Do that thing.
00:16:25 And so it is an aspect where, like I said, sometimes you just do it because it's hard,
00:16:30 or sometimes you do it because you want what's in the backside or because it's just how you
00:16:33 show up.
00:16:34 But there is this, I think people have this weird, like an allure of like successes.
00:16:39 It's a special thing that maybe I can get and I don't know.
00:16:41 And I go, the only difference between most of the people you see in yourself is just
00:16:46 how they show up in the actions that I call defining moments of the day.
00:16:50 It's a small one.
00:16:51 Like it could be a single thing.
00:16:53 So I look at the new year.
00:16:55 I love when I get the new year, I had to say this often, but the new year people go, you're
00:16:58 gonna go big this year, Ant?
00:16:59 I go, no, I'm not going big.
00:17:00 They go, what are you gonna do?
00:17:01 I'm gonna go small.
00:17:02 What do you mean?
00:17:03 I'm gonna go small, but in a really big way.
00:17:05 If I can go small, the singular thing that you won't do for the next six months, I'm
00:17:08 gonna go small, but I'm gonna do it.
00:17:09 If I go small, I'm gonna take off.
00:17:11 You can't touch me.
00:17:12 And I look at even from a neurological level, there's certain levels where our brain just
00:17:16 can't work, right?
00:17:17 I can get about a good four to five hours of solid focused work.
00:17:20 And I've built that muscle over time.
00:17:22 The average person based on an Inc magazine study in an eight hour day can get two hours
00:17:26 and 57 minutes of focused work.
00:17:28 And it's not just because they're distracted, but a lot of it's because their brain can't
00:17:30 do it.
00:17:31 So I go, okay, great.
00:17:32 Let's say you get three hours, but I can get six in a day.
00:17:35 At the end of the year, if I could stay focused, let's say you'd worked out for two or three
00:17:39 days because most people don't do a solid days like that, two or three days.
00:17:42 At the back end of a year, I will have two to three more years of progress on yours.
00:17:47 You can't catch me.
00:17:48 - That's right.
00:17:49 - And it's not because I'm running faster.
00:17:50 I just didn't stop running.
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00:18:49 - It's the Kobe Bryant model.
00:18:52 You know what I'm saying?
00:18:55 I just kept moving and it's like, but you fall in love with the monotony of it.
00:19:00 - The process.
00:19:01 - It is.
00:19:02 You love the process more than the destination.
00:19:03 You'll spend more time climbing a mountain than the peak.
00:19:05 Everybody wants the peak though, man.
00:19:07 So it's like, all right, well, if I'm gonna spend more, maybe I should love the hiking
00:19:10 of the mountain.
00:19:11 - Well, you mentioned this earlier, and it's something that plagued me as a kid.
00:19:15 And it kept me unfulfilled.
00:19:17 And it used to be something like my close confidants, my parents would always say, "Jeff,
00:19:21 when is it gonna be enough?
00:19:22 Like, when are you gonna be happy and satisfied?"
00:19:24 Because as soon as I got whatever I was after, what's next?
00:19:27 And it's because I don't love the peak.
00:19:30 I actually subconsciously, for some reason, really enjoy the battle to get to the peak.
00:19:35 But once I get there, I'm like, okay, what's next?
00:19:38 Well, fighters fight.
00:19:39 But it's potentially an unfulfilling life if you don't realize that, if you don't come
00:19:44 to that realization.
00:19:45 And I mean, you're a transformational coach.
00:19:47 So coach me.
00:19:48 I come to you and I say, "Hey, I struggle with this."
00:19:51 Because I really do.
00:19:52 - It's not a struggle though.
00:19:54 - It shouldn't be.
00:19:55 In my opinion, there shouldn't be a struggle.
00:19:56 So my wife and I have had this information, like as a conversation, she goes, "When are
00:19:59 you gonna be content?"
00:20:00 And I'm like, it's a difference between being settled and content.
00:20:05 So content is a thing where like, I'm done, I'm content, right?
00:20:08 But I'm not settled.
00:20:09 That's what I'm hearing.
00:20:10 I am the same as you.
00:20:11 And I found this out without, she's like, "Well, you're not happy with our life and
00:20:13 a marriage?"
00:20:14 Like, no, I love it all.
00:20:16 I love it all.
00:20:17 But five years ago, I didn't know this level of good existed.
00:20:21 So what level of good do we not know exists beyond this?
00:20:23 And it doesn't mean I don't love this, but humans are happiest in motion.
00:20:28 It's simple logic.
00:20:29 I have a puzzle right here and me and you were doing the puzzle.
00:20:31 When the last piece goes in, what do we do?
00:20:34 - Look at it and break it.
00:20:35 - We go, "What do we do?"
00:20:36 It's done, right?
00:20:37 But the puzzle making was the fun part.
00:20:39 We are happiest in motion.
00:20:41 And so I go, "Love, I'm just gonna stay in motion.
00:20:43 I'm gonna love everything.
00:20:44 I'm gonna be happier in the motion."
00:20:46 It doesn't mean I'm not content.
00:20:48 It doesn't mean I don't love.
00:20:49 I'm just not completely at a space where like, this is enough for me.
00:20:52 And it's not to say that this is enough to be happy, 'cause I'm incredibly happy, but
00:20:57 I believe that we all have somewhere supposed to be here to do.
00:21:00 And we won't know what it is until we've done it.
00:21:02 And maybe we never get there.
00:21:03 Maybe the idea is just to be in flow.
00:21:05 But if a person comes to me and goes, "Hey, I'm having this battle."
00:21:08 I go, "Well, first off, stop listening to the people who play smaller than you."
00:21:12 'Cause there's a lot of people that will give you that.
00:21:14 When's it gonna be enough?
00:21:15 Aren't you settled?
00:21:16 And I go, "That logic isn't how my life operates.
00:21:20 So I can't operate off your logic.
00:21:21 So I'm gonna, not that I don't respect you, I'm gonna put your logic to the side for a
00:21:24 moment, and I'm gonna listen to my logic of where I'm at.
00:21:27 Am I happy?
00:21:28 Yeah.
00:21:29 Am I healthy?
00:21:30 Yeah.
00:21:31 Am I marriage?
00:21:32 Good.
00:21:33 Yeah.
00:21:34 Are my kids happy?
00:21:35 Good.
00:21:36 Do my kids know me?
00:21:37 Yes.
00:21:38 Am I serving people at a high level?
00:21:39 Yes.
00:21:40 What's wrong with keeping that momentum?
00:21:41 Why not keep the puzzle pieces going?
00:21:42 Now, if one of these things was off, I go, "Okay, cool.
00:21:43 The way I'm doing this needs some adjusting."
00:21:44 So that may be a thing of like, "Okay, yeah, I see you going, but are you leaving something
00:21:46 behind while you move?"
00:21:47 If that's the thing, that's a different conversation.
00:21:50 But the simple idea of, "I want something more, but there's nothing wrong with this.
00:21:54 I think that we should seek and do that."
00:21:57 That's how we have things that make your desire to have more, to give more is why I'm here
00:22:01 right now.
00:22:02 What's wrong with that?
00:22:03 Your wife's happy, kids happy, right?
00:22:05 There's peace.
00:22:06 I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but how you do it could be a thing that we
00:22:08 could question.
00:22:09 But I don't think the idea of questioning your desire to do more is an issue.
00:22:14 I got a best friend, love my best friend.
00:22:17 We have these conversations often, because he's a guy who loves his nine to five job.
00:22:20 He loves security.
00:22:21 I love the security, but I also love the variety of life.
00:22:25 And we've had these discussions and I go, "At the end of the day, there's nothing wrong
00:22:28 with what you do and what I do."
00:22:30 I said, "But here's the thing.
00:22:31 I understand that you have certain needs that you have that keep you happy.
00:22:34 And you have to realize that I have certain needs that keep me happy, but he'll be the
00:22:36 first one to say, 'But your schedule is too much.'
00:22:39 Yeah, so stuff, daddy."
00:22:40 He's always one of like, you know, I go, "Jay, what's going on?"
00:22:42 He goes, "Just you're weird, dude.
00:22:44 You're abnormal."
00:22:45 I go, "I am, but have you noticed statistics of how happiness goes?"
00:22:48 "What are you talking about?"
00:22:49 I said, "Well, if you look up happiness statistics in America, 53% of people on a study that
00:22:54 was done that found that they were unhappy with their life or their career, what they're
00:22:57 doing."
00:22:58 I go, "So it tells you is the people that are happy are in the lesser majority.
00:23:02 So they are the abnormal."
00:23:03 So I said, "If I'm not normal, that's a good thing for me, dude."
00:23:07 So I said, "So for me, the seeking of the next level is what keeps me at peace.
00:23:11 It's why you respect me as your best friend, because it keeps me grounded, keeps me anchored."
00:23:15 I said, "But if you take that away from me, like I'd be a caged lion, bro.
00:23:18 I don't know what I would do.
00:23:19 I'd bite the handlers, you know, like I'd mess up my family.
00:23:22 My people in my life need me to seek that so they actually have the person that they
00:23:27 love the most."
00:23:28 - I mean, it makes perfect sense.
00:23:30 And I'm gonna regurgitate some of that back to my wife the next time she gives me that
00:23:35 long because that is something that we struggle with just 'cause I am one of those humans
00:23:38 where I'm very unsettled, always.
00:23:42 I'm always looking for what's next.
00:23:44 Because I do, I enjoy the chaos of it.
00:23:47 And I strive to help other people enjoy the chaos of it too, because I think your best
00:23:51 friend falls in this group, which is they like the security of it because the chaos
00:23:56 feels fast for them.
00:23:58 - Too much, yeah.
00:23:59 - Too much.
00:24:00 And if you ever played a sport, you know, as you move to the next higher level, the
00:24:02 game gets faster.
00:24:04 But the great ones, it slows down for.
00:24:07 Tom Brady, the game is slow.
00:24:09 Ryan Leaf, the game was fast.
00:24:11 No offense, Ryan.
00:24:12 - It's all right.
00:24:13 - He was his brother, actually, Brady Leaf.
00:24:14 - Yeah.
00:24:15 - Good people.
00:24:16 - Yeah, he had his tough times.
00:24:17 - Yeah.
00:24:18 - But I wanna switch to something that you had also said before, which was identity shift.
00:24:24 And you mentioned three of them.
00:24:27 The defender, the dabbler.
00:24:29 What was the first one?
00:24:30 - Dreamer.
00:24:31 - Dreamer.
00:24:32 Is there a fourth?
00:24:33 - Yeah, doer.
00:24:34 - The doer.
00:24:35 - Yeah, there's a different level there.
00:24:36 - There you go.
00:24:37 - That's a good discussion.
00:24:38 Wanna have that one?
00:24:39 - I wanna have that one.
00:24:40 - Let's do it.
00:24:41 First off, for the identity stuff, I do not believe you could ever dream above your current
00:24:42 level.
00:24:43 Meaning I don't think that you can have this aspiration and be the person doing what you're
00:24:47 doing.
00:24:48 'Cause there's certain actions that certain identities do.
00:24:49 There's certain things that if you were given this task, you'd do without even question,
00:24:53 right?
00:24:54 Which is why you have created what you created.
00:24:55 Give that to somebody else who doesn't identify with the actions you take, they don't get
00:24:59 that dream.
00:25:00 So I can't go, "I want what Jeff has, but I'm not gonna do what Jeff does."
00:25:02 That's not how it works.
00:25:03 You get that identity, then you have the things that come with that.
00:25:06 And so with that, you have to understand, "Well, who am I?"
00:25:09 It's not what you know, but who you are with what you know.
00:25:12 And so I found that there's like these three, but the doer's the one that's like, doesn't
00:25:15 have a problem doing things.
00:25:17 They tackle opposition because they know there's opportunity in the backside and they overcome
00:25:21 opposition because they know it creates different things for their life.
00:25:24 But they also, the opportunities they seek because they know they can handle the opposition
00:25:28 that comes.
00:25:29 But there's a separation between types of doers.
00:25:32 And there's five of them I've found.
00:25:33 The way I look at it is what's called the walker.
00:25:35 And it's all based on traffic and travel.
00:25:37 And say I go from California to Florida, right?
00:25:39 We're here in San Diego, we're gonna go out to Florida.
00:25:41 If we want to get there fast, we can, what do we do?
00:25:43 Well, some people are gonna walk.
00:25:44 Self-made, I don't need anybody's help.
00:25:46 TD Jake said something recently I love and he says, "If your dream doesn't require other
00:25:51 people's help, it's not big enough."
00:25:53 I go, "Oh, I like that one."
00:25:54 - I like that too.
00:25:55 - That's right, it's a good one.
00:25:56 - I laugh at self-made.
00:25:57 - It's a good one, dude.
00:25:58 - It is.
00:25:59 - So- - Say it again.
00:26:00 - TD Jake, it's not mine.
00:26:01 TD Jake said it, he says, "If the dream doesn't require other people, it's not big enough."
00:26:05 So you got right- - That hits.
00:26:07 - It's big.
00:26:08 - It hits.
00:26:09 - So I go, "Okay, cool."
00:26:10 - Self-made, so if they're gonna go from California to Florida, they're gonna walk.
00:26:13 They're probably gonna have busted feet, it's gonna take forever.
00:26:15 I don't need anybody's help, leave me alone, I got this on my own, right?
00:26:18 And this person will take forever to get there if they get there at all.
00:26:21 - Yep.
00:26:22 - Self-powered.
00:26:23 They have a person that goes, "I'm gonna invest in a bike.
00:26:25 Small investment, I'm gonna ride a little fast."
00:26:27 So they might read a book, they might watch some articles or something, they might figure
00:26:30 some things out, but they're not gonna talk to anybody else still.
00:26:32 Still self-powered, but they're going a little bit faster.
00:26:34 But still, it takes forever.
00:26:35 If you wanna ride a bike from California to Florida, it takes a while.
00:26:39 The next person makes a bigger investment, these are called drivers.
00:26:42 That's not self-powered anymore.
00:26:44 This is the person that goes and says, "I'm maybe gonna read a book, go to seminar.
00:26:47 I'm gonna invest in a course or some program, right?
00:26:49 So I'm gonna go."
00:26:50 But they're still on the way there, there's detours.
00:26:52 There's roadblocks, there's different roads you have to go.
00:26:54 You can't go straight shot.
00:26:55 Then you have the third person, who is a pilot.
00:26:58 Now look at the investment, right?
00:27:00 To invest in a bike is one thing, invest in a car is another thing.
00:27:02 Invest in a pilot's license, it's like 20 grand in 60 hours to get a pilot's license.
00:27:06 I'm trying to get one so I know.
00:27:07 - Are you?
00:27:08 - Why not?
00:27:09 - Well, we're gonna talk about that.
00:27:10 - Fly around, right?
00:27:11 My wife won't get in a plane with me, she said, but I'm a tricker.
00:27:12 I'm a blindfolder, like, "Let's go."
00:27:13 No, I won't do that.
00:27:14 But the idea is like even to get a plane, right?
00:27:16 But the investment's like, I'm hiring a coach, I'm making an investment in my future.
00:27:20 I'm sure you've made some investments like, it's gotta pan out.
00:27:23 You make those investments, but that's how you actually get to the next level.
00:27:25 Now what happens is you bypass roadblocks.
00:27:28 You gotta fly over it, right?
00:27:29 So I'm going from California to Florida, you get there faster.
00:27:32 That's getting insight for the people or just investing in newer insights.
00:27:36 The fifth one is the one that's different.
00:27:38 This is the one where most people go, "I'm a doer."
00:27:40 And they think that they're comfortable, great.
00:27:42 I'm a pilot, cool, great.
00:27:43 But there's another level.
00:27:44 These are the Elon Musk, this is the Steve Jobs, they're what's called astronauts.
00:27:48 Well, me and you were going to Florida, they see something in South Africa.
00:27:52 They see something on Australia.
00:27:53 They see something vastly different.
00:27:55 And they have the ability to invest in the time to be a pilot astronaut, invest in a
00:27:59 rocket ship, literally invest in a rocket, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:03 They fly above it and they see so much more, but it's all based on the investment they
00:28:07 put in over time.
00:28:08 And so most people don't identify with making the investment, getting the help, adding the
00:28:12 team and taking that next step.
00:28:14 And so when people step back and go, "I'm a doer," right?
00:28:17 Cool.
00:28:18 Which one are you?
00:28:19 Genuinely, which one are you?
00:28:20 Because until you understand which one you are, you can sit and feel really good and
00:28:24 comfortable in the place you have success based on who you see around you or who's close to
00:28:28 you in proximity.
00:28:29 Where I go, Harvard McKay said this and I love it.
00:28:31 He says, "The biggest room in the world is a room for improvement."
00:28:34 And I go, "Okay, cool.
00:28:36 What's the next room?"
00:28:37 So you asked how I look my way back.
00:28:38 "How'd you know the next dream or goal?"
00:28:40 I go, "What's the next room?
00:28:42 What's the next step for me?"
00:28:43 So my brain's always been in that space.
00:28:44 And I love that he could solidify the statement in that little clear space.
00:28:49 Inside that doer category, the fourth of the identity shifts, because I love that.
00:28:53 I love your different breakdowns because now I can actually see people I know and experience
00:28:58 and see who, and now I'm starting to question myself, which one am I?
00:29:00 Yeah, I do the same thing.
00:29:01 Yeah, of course.
00:29:02 I'm not an astronaut, I know that, but I'm a pilot, but I got a rinky-dink plane, baby.
00:29:06 I'm not a fighter jet yet.
00:29:07 You know what I'm saying?
00:29:08 Yet.
00:29:09 Yet, exactly.
00:29:10 But why do you think some people stay stuck in that, "I'm going to walk"?
00:29:15 Because they're already in the fourth category, right?
00:29:17 They're the doer.
00:29:18 They're getting stuff done.
00:29:21 They're partially the way where they need to be.
00:29:23 But what holds them back from recognizing, I mean, I say it all the time.
00:29:26 If you don't have a coach and a mentor in anything and everything, you're taking the
00:29:30 long route.
00:29:31 I don't need to pay a dummy tax.
00:29:32 I hire coaches, I hire mentors, I always will have them around me.
00:29:36 Even LeBron James has a coach.
00:29:37 You have to.
00:29:38 Michael Phelps had a coach.
00:29:39 Tom Hanks had a coach.
00:29:40 You know what's funny is people, they bag on it.
00:29:42 I try to explain to them that the difference here is, I looked as a coach.
00:29:45 When I first got out of the NFL, I went and opened a gym business and I struggled.
00:29:49 I almost went bankrupt in the first nine months and I hired a coach, one I couldn't afford,
00:29:53 by the way.
00:29:54 I had a $6,000 coach, I had $4,000 left to my name.
00:29:57 My wife was like, "What are you doing?"
00:29:58 I was like, "I got to figure it out."
00:29:59 I paid him money.
00:30:00 I was like, "Look, bro, we can't pay rent.
00:30:02 I need to figure this thing out now."
00:30:03 And so we figured it out.
00:30:04 And I go, "Why did it take me so long?"
00:30:08 What it was, was this thought of like, "I'm so good, I don't need a coach."
00:30:12 And I go, "Wait, wait, wait.
00:30:14 I played in the NFL.
00:30:15 Highest level in the world you can play for a sport."
00:30:18 And I had a coach because while I could see you in front of me, he could see the field.
00:30:22 I could pay attention to one thing, but they noticed it.
00:30:25 And so sometimes the coaches are the ones that really guide the best athletes to the
00:30:29 next level or to where they get it.
00:30:30 You can direct that amazing energy.
00:30:33 And so coaches can see things you can't.
00:30:34 So it's a huge piece of the whole process.
00:30:36 So I did the same thing, man.
00:30:37 I don't want to pay dummy tax.
00:30:39 I invest in things before I think I'm ready to, but when I see someone I go, "I want to
00:30:43 be in the direction they're in.
00:30:44 I want to go in that level."
00:30:45 Then I go, "Okay, cool.
00:30:46 What do I not know I need to know?"
00:30:47 And that's where I go and access it.
00:30:49 And the other thing I hear a lot of is, "I don't hire a coach because the coach can't
00:30:53 do what I can do."
00:30:54 And I try to remind them, "Phil Jackson couldn't dunk a basketball like Kobe or Jordan.
00:30:58 He doesn't need to.
00:31:00 It's dumb."
00:31:01 - I think also, I heard a story, I don't know who, a woman I had in a podcast tells a story
00:31:05 about this guy that he's walking up.
00:31:07 So he's trying to get to some corner market, right?
00:31:09 In the back, you know, backwoods somewhere.
00:31:10 And he walks to this house, there's a farmer in a rocking chair and a dog sitting next
00:31:14 to him.
00:31:15 And he walks up to the farmer, "Hey, farmer, how do I get to the grocery store?"
00:31:17 And he's rocking.
00:31:18 And he goes, "Well, you're going to..."
00:31:19 And he hears this noise and he goes, "What's that?"
00:31:22 He just, you know, couldn't see it again, didn't hear it.
00:31:24 And so, "You're going to go around the street here and make a left."
00:31:26 He goes, "Sir, what's that noise?
00:31:28 Oh, it's the dog.
00:31:30 What's wrong with the dog?
00:31:32 Him sitting on a nail.
00:31:34 Why doesn't he move?
00:31:35 It doesn't hurt bad enough."
00:31:36 And I go, "Interesting, right?"
00:31:39 Because a lot of people are sitting at walking stage and go, "It's okay.
00:31:43 It doesn't hurt bad enough.
00:31:45 It's uncomfortable.
00:31:46 I want to get there.
00:31:47 It doesn't hurt bad enough."
00:31:48 And so, until it hurts bad enough, whether it's a framing and like stop it and going,
00:31:52 "Oh, this isn't good enough," or something really happens, that's when we change.
00:31:55 We change either on demand or when crap hits the fan.
00:31:58 99% of people is when crap hits the fan.
00:32:00 "I got to figure it out."
00:32:01 And you do.
00:32:02 What if you just did it intentionally?
00:32:03 And so, most people just don't.
00:32:04 They just sit there and it's okay.
00:32:05 And they surround themselves with people that make them feel good.
00:32:09 And they don't realize that there's another level for themselves.
00:32:12 And I actually have this mentality I operate with, which is actually what I just did on
00:32:15 stage a minute ago.
00:32:17 And I genuinely think about this and I go, "There's going to be a moment in time when
00:32:21 I'm sitting in my deathbed and I have people picture themselves at the end of their lives
00:32:24 or sitting there and there's somebody sitting next to them, holding their hand, telling
00:32:27 them amazing story.
00:32:28 It's you, but not you, right?
00:32:30 It's a person that is like, if they live the most joyous, risk out, do whatever life that
00:32:36 you can imagine, they're telling you this amazing story of the loves you had, the trips
00:32:39 you took and the impact you made and all this stuff and your heart's beating.
00:32:42 You love the idea of like, "Oh, right."
00:32:43 And all of a sudden you go, "Oh, that's not my story.
00:32:46 It's what it could have been."
00:32:48 So I tell people a quote that says, "The last person you should meet in your deathbed is
00:32:51 the person you could have been."
00:32:52 So for me, that's my pain.
00:32:56 That's the thing is like, I don't want to get to the back end of my days and my God
00:32:59 come in and go, "Son, I gave you all these skills and these tools, man.
00:33:02 Why didn't you use them?"
00:33:04 So for me, that's the thing that keeps me moving.
00:33:06 So I go, "Okay, I can't get to the back end and have any part of me go, 'I've left something
00:33:11 on the table or something left.'
00:33:13 So I want to leave the life empty."
00:33:14 And so I do things that look stupid to people.
00:33:18 My buddy Jay is like, "Bro, what are you stupidly?
00:33:20 Why would you do...
00:33:21 I want to try it out."
00:33:22 You know, like figure it out.
00:33:23 And so because of that, I think that's what allows me to push in certain areas.
00:33:25 But most people, they get content and complacent and it's not hard enough.
00:33:30 It doesn't hurt them bad enough.
00:33:31 - So how do you help and help our audience?
00:33:33 How do you help people move through those different identities and get to the one, let's
00:33:37 say the pilot or the driver?
00:33:39 Because for some people, the driver might be the next best step.
00:33:41 - Yeah, it might be.
00:33:42 It's completely cool.
00:33:43 There's three stages to it.
00:33:45 And I think there's...
00:33:46 We'll stack it.
00:33:48 There's a way that I look at the first part of identity and I go, you have to see, shift,
00:33:52 and sustain.
00:33:53 This is the first part of what I call the shift method.
00:33:55 So think of it kind of like there's a vehicle and an engine, right?
00:33:58 The vehicle is this identity frame and I'm going to give you see, shift, sustain.
00:34:02 The engine is dark work.
00:34:04 So the first three, we'll call it for the vehicle, the body of it, right?
00:34:07 The first thing you have to see, which means you have to take a look at yourself in areas
00:34:11 that you don't want to see because you might not be happy what you find out.
00:34:15 I used to tell people, I've told a lot of people, for me, when I look back at my old
00:34:19 aunt who I used to be, there was a moment in time where I couldn't be alone.
00:34:24 I distracted myself with drinking and partying, hanging out, women when I was separate, I
00:34:27 divorced my wife.
00:34:29 And I found it was because when I was alone, I didn't like who I was alone with.
00:34:34 It had this interesting thing.
00:34:35 And I go, I can't be by myself.
00:34:36 I got to be calling people all the time.
00:34:38 Why am I doing this?
00:34:39 So I learned to just tell people away because I didn't see myself.
00:34:42 It was one of my best friends.
00:34:44 He pulled me to the side when I was doing my thing.
00:34:46 He's like, dude, this isn't who you are.
00:34:47 There's a guy named Tim Murphy has a statement.
00:34:49 I think it's Tim or Tom.
00:34:51 He says, it's hard to see the label when you're inside the jar.
00:34:54 I go, that's true, man.
00:34:56 Because all of us got these things functioning and operating.
00:34:58 And I'm like, I don't notice myself.
00:34:59 Therefore, I don't see what's going on.
00:35:01 And when somebody shows it to you, it's like, oh, I didn't want to hear that, but that's
00:35:04 the truth.
00:35:05 And so I saw myself and I go, I don't like the man I am.
00:35:08 This is not something my daughter should ever be with a man like me.
00:35:10 My boy shouldn't emulate me in any way.
00:35:12 So I must have changed.
00:35:13 And so I was like, I got to make some shifts.
00:35:15 And those shifts are the things that are difficult, but a shift in trajectory, I think atomic
00:35:19 habits, James Clear talks about, if you make one degree difference in a shift of an angle,
00:35:24 you end up across the country, 40 miles somewhere else.
00:35:27 So one single shift is all you need.
00:35:28 Not a whole change at first, but a single shift.
00:35:30 But those shifts lead you to new forks on the road that create new shifts and you become
00:35:33 somebody different in time.
00:35:34 And the last part is to sustain it.
00:35:36 A lot of us will try some and we're met with the fact that we suck at it.
00:35:40 This is the reality of almost everything because I don't mind looking stupid.
00:35:42 I go, let's keep looking stupid, right?
00:35:45 Identify with the outcomes of either the efforts, not the outcome.
00:35:49 So if I can go, I'm going to try this thing.
00:35:51 And when I do it, I'm going to try it.
00:35:53 I know it's going to suck.
00:35:54 It's going to be a 10 of 10 of pain, but you know what?
00:35:56 I'm going to learn something.
00:35:57 So next time it's a nine.
00:35:58 Most people go, what are you masochistic?
00:35:59 It was a 10, you suck.
00:36:00 Why are you doing that again?
00:36:01 I'm going to try it again.
00:36:02 I got to try it.
00:36:03 You do it again.
00:36:04 It's a nine.
00:36:05 You still look stupid.
00:36:06 Stop being a comic.
00:36:07 Why are you standing up?
00:36:08 You bomb every time on stage, right?
00:36:09 I learned something.
00:36:10 I did something.
00:36:11 I learned something.
00:36:12 I'm going to do it again.
00:36:13 It's an eight.
00:36:14 Dude, stop.
00:36:15 You keep going.
00:36:16 Eventually you do six and five and four.
00:36:17 It was zero.
00:36:19 And most people assume zero is painless.
00:36:21 It's not.
00:36:22 It's joy.
00:36:23 Because I know what it took to go from 10 to zero.
00:36:25 Like God, you know what I did?
00:36:26 And it's like Kevin Hart.
00:36:28 I love the story of him of like bombing and building.
00:36:31 And now it's joy to see him do what he does.
00:36:33 And I go, it's cool to watch that journey.
00:36:35 It's everybody's journey.
00:36:36 But those are the aspects.
00:36:37 Now, how do I do the shift portion?
00:36:38 This is going to be the engine of it, right?
00:36:40 I find there's three things.
00:36:41 You have to one, respect the light.
00:36:43 The light being the destination, the place you want to go.
00:36:46 You have to respect a few things.
00:36:47 And I got to heavily respect what this vision is.
00:36:51 I got to clarify it.
00:36:52 I got to know what it is.
00:36:53 I can't be gray in what it is.
00:36:54 It's got to be an address, not a city.
00:36:56 Here's what I want.
00:36:57 This is what it looks like.
00:36:58 So I got to have a clear vision of almost touch it, taste it.
00:37:01 This room, I'm sure you knew what it looked like in your head before it got built.
00:37:05 And when you walked in, it's like, yes, what it was.
00:37:07 I've done this.
00:37:08 And so I got to have this clear vision, but I'm respecting what that thing is.
00:37:11 Then I got to respect who's done it before.
00:37:15 Some people get to situations, seeing somebody do something, and there's an immediate envy
00:37:20 that pops in and goes, oh, you don't even notice it.
00:37:23 What it comes out as, oh, they're not that great.
00:37:26 That person, they could have done it.
00:37:27 I could do it.
00:37:28 You start poking holes.
00:37:29 And what happens is we don't respect, and respect means to have admiration for.
00:37:33 And I don't admire this.
00:37:34 I don't learn from this.
00:37:36 I don't care how that person got there.
00:37:38 They got there.
00:37:40 Respect that they got there and listen to what they do.
00:37:42 You may not like it or do it yourself, but if you don't respect that, you don't find
00:37:45 out what they did to get there.
00:37:46 So you can spin your wheels for years, never realizing, all because you want to chop Jeff
00:37:50 down instead of go, hey, Jeff, respect, man.
00:37:52 How'd you do it?
00:37:53 Right now, ask genuinely, but that respect helps.
00:37:55 Then once you do know, respect the gravity of it.
00:37:59 It's heavy.
00:38:00 Like those visions are heavy and most people will try it without knowing the gravity, get
00:38:05 a step in and go, oh, I can't hold this.
00:38:07 And then they find great excuses to back out of it.
00:38:10 But if you sit and breathe it in and go, okay, I see what this is.
00:38:13 Like I understand what it's going to be.
00:38:14 Now I've prepared my mind for the inevitable hardship that comes.
00:38:18 First step, respect the light.
00:38:20 The second step of the dark work is, I call it do the dark work, but there's steps to
00:38:23 that too.
00:38:24 One is you must design your dark.
00:38:26 A lot of individuals go, and I'm going to go get this done.
00:38:29 And we try to stay disciplined to the emotion of it.
00:38:31 I can't wait to get it.
00:38:32 I know it's going to take, I'm motivated, right?
00:38:34 You're cool.
00:38:35 All right.
00:38:36 What about the day you wake up and you're not, oh, it's not going to happen.
00:38:39 No, it's going to happen.
00:38:40 It's going to happen tomorrow, maybe like it's going to happen.
00:38:43 And so what I go is I don't stay disciplined to an emotion.
00:38:47 I stay disciplined to a plan.
00:38:49 So when I say design my dark, I know what my day looks like.
00:38:53 My son and I, every morning, weekday morning, we get up and we, 625, I'm up at 530.
00:38:58 He's up at 625.
00:38:59 We leave the house at 630.
00:39:00 We take a hike to the top of a hill, see miles around.
00:39:03 We do a gratitude.
00:39:04 What are you grateful for?
00:39:05 It's always new and different.
00:39:06 For me, it was like bumblebees.
00:39:07 And for him, it was like his socks of the day.
00:39:09 Right.
00:39:10 And it's just, and the more you do it, you have to get more intricate, which is beautiful
00:39:12 to see your life like that.
00:39:14 We then pray on that.
00:39:15 So thank God for this.
00:39:16 These things we're grateful for.
00:39:17 We go back down the hill, 48 degree cold plunge for two minutes, 10 minute meditation.
00:39:21 That's guided by YouTube, Boho Beautiful on YouTube.
00:39:24 Giving her a shout out.
00:39:25 I don't know why, but like every day I listen to her.
00:39:27 And then I give him a hug for a minute, man, just hold, we breathe.
00:39:30 And I say, I love you is off the day.
00:39:32 This is his dark work, but it's also mine.
00:39:34 But I designed that.
00:39:35 I know what it looks like.
00:39:36 It sets my day up to lead to the next thing.
00:39:38 Because when I go to my calls, I go, I can coach at a high level because I'm doing this
00:39:42 dark work.
00:39:43 I'm not being a facade and faking it.
00:39:46 But I designed that.
00:39:47 Right.
00:39:48 Now I have my design of what I'm doing because I know who I want to become later on.
00:39:51 So you design in a way to become the person that you aren't currently.
00:39:55 That's the hardest thing too, is because I wasn't a guy that did ice baths every day.
00:39:58 I didn't go take walks every day with him, but it's part of who I am.
00:40:01 We're six months deep.
00:40:02 It's beautiful.
00:40:03 Once you've designed the dark, the second thing you do is it's called make a dark work
00:40:06 declaration.
00:40:08 I do this in a really unique way because I think people miss out on the beauty if you
00:40:12 do this right.
00:40:13 The first thing is I set a window.
00:40:15 My design is how far it's going to be.
00:40:17 30, 60, 90, 90 days is like the sweet spot where your brain body connects.
00:40:21 You can do some in 21 days, but you haven't soul connected to it yet.
00:40:25 At 90 days, like 13 weeks, it's like, "This is who I am now.
00:40:28 I've been out doing this.
00:40:29 This is who I am now, bro."
00:40:30 And so to get there is the big goal.
00:40:32 But the thing is I want you to, before you start, commit to reading this declaration
00:40:37 when you exit.
00:40:39 So you're going to write this in a way as if you're reading it.
00:40:41 Like you've already done it.
00:40:43 Like you've already done it.
00:40:44 I, Anthony Trucks, just completed my 90 day dark work experience.
00:40:48 And this is what I did.
00:40:49 Right.
00:40:50 So I'm writing it, designed it.
00:40:51 I'm declaring I'm going to do it.
00:40:52 So when I get to that point, I'm going to read it to the world.
00:40:54 I better have done it.
00:40:55 Right.
00:40:56 So I'm writing it.
00:40:57 So when I'm in the middle of this thing, I go, "I still got to read this thing.
00:41:00 I better do this."
00:41:01 Right.
00:41:02 And then it has the other part of it is, "And I'm going to do this."
00:41:06 I think people like look at diets or these finishing things.
00:41:08 "Oh, I'm going to get here."
00:41:09 And I'm rushing.
00:41:10 I get to the end.
00:41:11 I go, "Okay, I'm chilling now."
00:41:12 I go, "No, we didn't do that to stay the same."
00:41:13 Kim Kardashian on Drake's new song was like, "I didn't go this far to get this far."
00:41:17 That was crazy he did that.
00:41:19 But the idea is when you get to the back end, I want you to say, "I did this.
00:41:22 I'm going to do this."
00:41:23 Because at this point, I'm now a different identity.
00:41:26 I've done it right.
00:41:27 I have what I call a dominator's identity with a mentality of I've done too much work
00:41:31 in the dark to lose in the light.
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00:41:59 Hey there, it's your host Jeff Fenster and I have something very exciting to share with
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00:42:53 When you say I'm going to do this, what does that mean?
00:42:55 So to do this is like the next level.
00:42:59 So for example, if I say my dark word declaration, let's say it was to, I'm going to spend the
00:43:03 next six months, whatever my son, doing this morning routine.
00:43:06 And then I'm going to elevate the routine to a level where I'm going to push myself
00:43:09 more or I'm, and I've done this and I miss identity.
00:43:12 I'm going to now create a program that teach people how to do this, right?
00:43:15 Whatever the next thing you're going to do, because I want you to be able to say, if I'm
00:43:19 that identity, what would that identity now do?
00:43:22 And then go do that.
00:43:23 Because you can't get to the back of this thing and having done this work and say, okay,
00:43:26 I'm done.
00:43:27 I feel good now.
00:43:28 No, we have to-
00:43:29 - Because you'll regress.
00:43:30 - Yeah.
00:43:31 You got to put that guy into the next action and do it before you feel comfortable doing
00:43:33 it.
00:43:34 And so when you declare at the end, you're declaring, you're to speak in the last part
00:43:37 of it called a merge.
00:43:38 You're going to declare what you just did and what you're going to go do.
00:43:41 And you better be able to be of integrity from what you're declaring.
00:43:44 And then now I'm going to be accountable to the next thing that she was to do.
00:43:47 Then that second part is you just go dark, man.
00:43:51 There's something that people don't pay attention to.
00:43:54 What you have built.
00:43:56 No one knew what you were doing five, six, seven years ago.
00:43:59 But they look at this guy and go, "Bro, he's awesome.
00:44:01 I want to be like him."
00:44:02 It's like, oh, you don't know what he did that you didn't see, dude.
00:44:04 Like there's so many, Wim Hof.
00:44:06 Everybody loves the, I...
00:44:07 If you'd have walked across the lake 15 years ago, like what's this dude doing in the water?
00:44:11 But it was a stuff in the dark.
00:44:12 So everyone that we admire who's shining did things that nobody saw or celebrated.
00:44:18 No one was giving you a high five, pat you on the back.
00:44:20 Nobody did that.
00:44:21 But we want that.
00:44:22 Like we think we need that.
00:44:23 No, you got to have this just you behind the scenes that's driving the machine.
00:44:26 And so for me, when I say go dark, it's like, stop doing everything for the gram.
00:44:31 You can have what I call flashes, a, where I just did this.
00:44:33 Show us what you're doing, but like have done it.
00:44:35 And so for me, I go tuck away and have windows of time where you're doing it just for you.
00:44:40 And when you do it just for you, you fuel you.
00:44:43 And on top of that, we don't realize that when you're doing things with other people
00:44:47 watching or the purpose of them watching, we have what's called a mirror neuron.
00:44:50 There's a lot of ways it shows up in areas, but if I touch a hot pan, you go, because
00:44:53 you know what that feels like.
00:44:54 What we found was like, if you put somebody into a room and have them work, no one's around,
00:44:59 just work, they can be effective and efficient, very productive.
00:45:02 You simply put someone in the room and it diminishes by like half.
00:45:06 And we go, why is that?
00:45:07 Because I'm mirroring, how do they think I smell?
00:45:10 Am I taking my pen too much?
00:45:12 What are they thinking?
00:45:13 Am I, I'm not here.
00:45:15 And so people go, but I'm going to document.
00:45:16 And Gary Vee's big on this, document yourself, put a camera up.
00:45:18 And I go, yeah, there's a time to do that.
00:45:21 But in the dark work experience, you don't, because when the camera's up, my brain goes,
00:45:24 it's a person later.
00:45:26 So while the camera's up, me working, I'm not always in the pocket.
00:45:29 I'm thinking about, I got to edit this thing.
00:45:30 And so I'm missing out on all that, those hours.
00:45:32 When I needed six hours to work, two or three are to the camera and the thought of the person.
00:45:37 I'm just like, I'm not getting sick.
00:45:38 I can't get ahead of you.
00:45:39 So you got to go dark and be okay with that.
00:45:42 The third part's to emerge.
00:45:43 I have to read my dark work declaration.
00:45:46 Read it, man.
00:45:47 'Cause now you're out in the world.
00:45:48 Hey world, this is who I'm going to shine now.
00:45:50 I did my dark work, time to shine.
00:45:52 So now I say, this is who I am, what I'm going to go do.
00:45:53 Then you have to compete for what you want with conviction.
00:45:57 There's this part of me that, like when I know what I want and I've done the work, like
00:46:02 it's mine already, I'm competing for that.
00:46:05 You don't get to beat me.
00:46:06 Like if I'm a boxer getting to a ring and I know I had a crazy cool, like amazing camp,
00:46:10 I don't care what you thought of me.
00:46:12 You're not beating me tonight.
00:46:13 My camp was crazy, right?
00:46:15 You don't get to beat me.
00:46:16 So I compete for that career, for the job, for the girl, for the body with conviction
00:46:20 now.
00:46:21 I compete for it.
00:46:22 And you can't have the conviction unless you've paid the price.
00:46:25 So compete.
00:46:26 And we're all going to get to these defining moments.
00:46:28 My son runs track right now and he's a nice guy.
00:46:31 He's a nice guy, which I like and I don't at the same time.
00:46:34 I'm like, nice guys, they don't, not to finish last, but like as a competitive division one
00:46:38 athlete, you got to have dog in you.
00:46:40 - You got to be a killer.
00:46:41 - It's got to be that.
00:46:42 I don't care what you do.
00:46:43 I don't care if you play tennis.
00:46:44 It's got to be a viciousness to you.
00:46:45 But here's the thing.
00:46:47 I don't need it 24/7, son.
00:46:49 I don't, I don't care what, you can walk around and hang out all day.
00:46:51 But when you get to that line, you better have that dog come out.
00:46:54 I call it draw on your dark, D O Y D, draw on your dark, which means in this defining
00:47:01 moment, the next 13, 14 seconds, I need you to tuck back and hunker down to all the days
00:47:08 that you put in.
00:47:09 I call them dark work deposits that you put in, in your experience to where that person
00:47:12 can't beat you.
00:47:13 They don't get the right.
00:47:14 Cause I've done the work well before this, but a lot of people that have done the work
00:47:18 and like in the moment, they don't want to get in the intensity of it.
00:47:20 They don't want to, Oh, I don't want to be too aggressive.
00:47:22 No be aggressive.
00:47:23 That's why you did that, man.
00:47:25 Aggressive isn't always physical and domineering, but you've already done the work for this.
00:47:30 Make it worthwhile.
00:47:31 So draw on that place.
00:47:32 Cause if you walk, all the elite athletes, even the business owners, when things in the
00:47:37 line, they don't go in the room and go, we can do this guys.
00:47:40 We got, you know, it's not that it's like this, Hey, lock in.
00:47:44 Let's go to work.
00:47:45 Like there's a intensity in their eyes, you know, like, and they can switch into it.
00:47:48 When you watch Tom Brady on the side, you watch Serena Williams doing her thing.
00:47:51 Like they're in his place.
00:47:52 Tiger Woods, they're, they're somewhere else and they don't care about you.
00:47:56 I don't like you.
00:47:57 Not that I don't like as a human in this moment, you don't exist to me.
00:48:00 You don't matter.
00:48:01 I'm drawing on the darkness of who I am in a great way.
00:48:04 That's how Kobe did the mob mentality.
00:48:06 Like he was drawn and channeling the darkest parts of him that he put in when he's going
00:48:10 to practice at four in the morning, getting two in when you got one.
00:48:14 - Tim Grover talks about it.
00:48:15 He calls it the dark side.
00:48:16 - It is dude.
00:48:17 - You need that dark side.
00:48:18 - You need it, but you got to fuel that.
00:48:19 Cause you can't, you can't power your light in the light without that dark energy.
00:48:24 And so for me, it's once you've done that, draw on your dark and go put in the world.
00:48:28 And that's the crazy thing.
00:48:29 You could be joyous all day long, but when you hunker that point, the thing that you
00:48:32 do, like that's what allows you to shine.
00:48:33 All the people we know, you only know them because they've done something great.
00:48:37 They all have those stories.
00:48:38 When I was out there and told you about this, I saw you settle in and go, yeah, you were,
00:48:42 you were going to those moments.
00:48:43 And I go, yep.
00:48:45 Everyone I talked to that hears that, they go, yeah, I've been there.
00:48:48 I've done that.
00:48:49 Cool.
00:48:50 Can we do it intentionally now for the next aspirational goal that lights my soul up?
00:48:55 - I absolutely love the name Dark Work.
00:48:57 - Thank you.
00:48:58 - Because it is so, it is so spot on accurate to what you're talking about.
00:49:02 And you're right.
00:49:03 Listening to you explain it naturally in my head, that's where I went.
00:49:06 I went to my own personal experiences and I'm sure everyone listening is doing the same.
00:49:09 - Yeah, probably.
00:49:10 - That we all have those.
00:49:12 How would you help somebody?
00:49:14 Because I think hearing this is, it's going to motivate a lot of people, but motivation
00:49:17 is short-lived.
00:49:18 - It's short-lived, man.
00:49:19 - You need discipline.
00:49:20 - Yeah.
00:49:21 - So two weeks from today, you're two weeks into your Dark Work.
00:49:24 You've made the, you made the declaration.
00:49:26 You wake up, you're sore.
00:49:29 You have a cold.
00:49:30 You didn't get good sleep last night.
00:49:31 You have to wake up and do some things.
00:49:33 It's raining outside.
00:49:34 - Yeah.
00:49:35 - All the excuses or reasons are coming in your face.
00:49:41 What do they lean on?
00:49:42 What do you teach them?
00:49:43 How do we lean on and what do we lean on to persevere through that day, that moment?
00:49:47 - Yeah.
00:49:48 - And keep the streak going.
00:49:49 - So two really powerful things.
00:49:51 The first one is essentially tied to the idea of stop making decisions.
00:49:57 I love that, I think it was Kobe talked about this.
00:49:59 He goes, "I signed the contract.
00:50:00 I don't negotiate with my dream."
00:50:03 And that simple thought, if you take it away, a friend of mine, Mel Robbins, says five,
00:50:07 four, three, two, one.
00:50:09 It's a phenomenal concept and it really is at a neurological level, but all it is, is
00:50:12 like, I'm not having discussion back and forth of whether I'm going to do it.
00:50:16 I'm going to do that.
00:50:17 This very morning, before I came here, two days ago I was in Las Vegas, had a late flight,
00:50:23 got back home.
00:50:24 The next morning I got up, was dead all day, flew out to San Diego last night, got here
00:50:28 at 10 o'clock, was in my hotel room at 10.30, had to get up this morning to do my workouts.
00:50:32 I'm doing a 75 hard right now.
00:50:34 So I'm like, "All right, I got to get two in."
00:50:35 And I know I'm not going to have time between this and this to get the outside workout.
00:50:37 I was like, "I'll get up at 6.30, I'll get my workout in, and then I'll get my shower,
00:50:42 I'll be chill."
00:50:43 I'll have to find some way later on to get my outdoor workout, but I'm going to get into
00:50:47 my house tonight at 5.00 PM and the Warriors are playing the Lakers.
00:50:50 So I'm like, "Am I going to be able to do the outside?
00:50:52 Maybe if I just make up a reason, I'll go, no."
00:50:56 So at six o'clock, I looked at my watch and I go, "Well, if I get out of this room in
00:50:59 four minutes, I can get downstairs and be outside by 6.05, and then I can get my 45
00:51:04 in, come back at 45.
00:51:05 I'll have a shorter time for the shower, but I'll get it all done."
00:51:08 And my brain goes, "But you don't got to, you can..."
00:51:10 And I literally just shut the brain off, I got out of bed.
00:51:13 And I was outside before my brain clicked into like, "Oh, where is that?"
00:51:17 And so I just, I don't have the conversation, I don't have the negotiation back and forth.
00:51:20 It's like, "That's what I got to do, let's go do that."
00:51:22 And the way you can frame this for people that go, "Well, how do I know what to do?"
00:51:26 We actually don't know who future self is.
00:51:28 An interesting way is the study at UCLA was done, it's called the stranger in science.
00:51:31 They had people wire their brains up and they asked them about questions of stuff.
00:51:34 And they said, "Well, who's this person?"
00:51:36 A picture of their wife or kids, and it was like love lit up.
00:51:39 And then they showed this to me, it was love lights up.
00:51:40 And they showed a stranger, stranger lit up.
00:51:43 So what they did is they said, "Tell us about your future self."
00:51:45 You'd assume love would light up, stranger lit up.
00:51:48 We don't know our futures, there's no emotional connection to a being we haven't been yet.
00:51:52 So we don't have this, so people don't sacrifice for themselves at a higher level.
00:51:56 Morgan Stanley took this information, called it face the future.
00:51:58 Started having people think about future self.
00:52:00 They invested 40% more in their future by that simple concept.
00:52:05 So I go, "Okay, I don't know my future self, what do I do if I want to be able to figure
00:52:08 out how to not make this decision?"
00:52:09 I go, "Well, we all know people that we all know what they would do."
00:52:12 If it was a rock, right?
00:52:15 We know how he trains and gets down.
00:52:16 If you ask yourself, "Would the rock get out of bed at this time to do the workout?"
00:52:19 He sure would.
00:52:20 Now, what I go is if I want to have that expression of my identity in that area, if I want to
00:52:25 be like that person, that part of their life, I go, "All right, what would they, you know
00:52:28 the answer?"
00:52:29 It's like, now I just don't negotiate with the answer.
00:52:31 If I want to be like that, that dream, my identity is that dream, right?
00:52:35 That identity has the dream, that's what I do.
00:52:37 So the first part is stop negotiating with what that is.
00:52:40 So you get up in the morning and go, "Okay, cool.
00:52:42 Who has what I want?
00:52:43 Would they do this?"
00:52:44 "Yes."
00:52:45 "Do I want to do it?"
00:52:46 "No."
00:52:47 "Doesn't matter, let's go do it."
00:52:48 Don't negotiate, just start moving.
00:52:49 And the more you move, the more it becomes who you are to move.
00:52:51 The other piece of it is, simplest thing we all know, have an accountability person.
00:52:56 That's it.
00:52:57 As much as I want to say it's some magical thing, it's not, but it is.
00:53:00 There's studies that show that 83% of people who have an accountability partner, when they
00:53:03 start some journey, they complete the journey.
00:53:06 And so I go, "Well, who do you get and how do you do it?"
00:53:08 And most people want a babysitter.
00:53:09 I don't have a babysitter.
00:53:10 I got a guy named Mark, he's an awesome dude.
00:53:12 And we just hop on every two weeks.
00:53:13 And the sole purpose is to not be the person who shows up having not got that thing done.
00:53:18 It's an integrity piece.
00:53:19 It doesn't matter.
00:53:20 And he's not going to let my excuse be good and neither is his.
00:53:23 Make sure you set that thing proper.
00:53:24 So you don't like, "I'm going to go ahead and make $50 million next week."
00:53:28 No, we ain't doing that.
00:53:29 But the idea is like, set something you can do.
00:53:31 And those two things, if you exercise those two, it becomes way more manageable.
00:53:37 And the thing is, you don't have a bunch of those moments.
00:53:40 What I find is we have a few of those that take us so far off path, we never get back
00:53:44 on.
00:53:45 - Because once you break, it's over.
00:53:46 - Yeah, it's hard to come back.
00:53:48 So I go, "If I can stay in the pocket, I can stay the flow."
00:53:51 And so for me, a big thing is like, I got to know that moment's coming and when it does,
00:53:55 defeat it.
00:53:56 And then I'm not going to face it for much longer.
00:53:58 In fact, I'm going to feel better about myself for having done it.
00:54:00 I feel good that I got up and did my walk outside.
00:54:02 It was cold and I feel good about myself.
00:54:05 But having that's big.
00:54:06 And another thing, if you want to add a little piece, and I don't like to have too many pieces,
00:54:10 but having like a physical, tangible thing.
00:54:12 We have a dark work deposit sheet, 14 by 27.
00:54:15 And it has the weeks, 13 weeks.
00:54:17 It's our window of 90 days, 13 weeks.
00:54:19 And every day you do is you, it's L-I-G-H-T.
00:54:22 You light these things up.
00:54:23 You just put the little marks every day, you complete them.
00:54:25 At the bottom, you put a bulb, right?
00:54:26 A little light bulb, I'm going to be able to shine on the light.
00:54:29 And when you're like five weeks in and you get up and it's in your bathroom or it's in
00:54:32 your, you know, on your fridge, like, you know, like you don't want to do it.
00:54:35 You look at that, you go, gosh, I'm looking for him.
00:54:38 I got one more day.
00:54:39 I could do it.
00:54:40 Right.
00:54:41 And you keep on pushing by the time you're done.
00:54:42 It's like you have some tangible, it shows who you've given yourself to become now.
00:54:46 And it's a whole different progression to the next level.
00:54:48 Then it's, it's who you are to do this stuff.
00:54:51 Cause that's the thing people miss.
00:54:52 It is hard in the beginning.
00:54:54 It is the efforts are hard, extra hard, but eventually it becomes so part of who you are.
00:54:58 It's hard not to do it.
00:55:00 That's right.
00:55:01 That's the secret space.
00:55:02 When you get to that level, it's a game changer, man.
00:55:04 Well, I mean, and I think what people do is they make exceptions and what they fail to
00:55:07 realize is an exception becomes a rule.
00:55:09 Yeah.
00:55:10 If you can accept, make one exception for anything you're doing, it's now the rule.
00:55:13 You can always make an exception.
00:55:14 If you don't give yourself those exceptions, if you live and own the dark space, that dark
00:55:19 work, that dark side, and you say, come hell or high water, I don't care if it's a torrential
00:55:24 rain outside.
00:55:25 Yeah.
00:55:26 I'm getting outside.
00:55:27 I'm doing my thing.
00:55:28 I'm doing my meditation.
00:55:29 I'm doing my meditation regardless of what hits you.
00:55:30 Yeah.
00:55:31 I love you said that.
00:55:32 You will get through it.
00:55:33 So there's a part of people go, well, it's very aggressive.
00:55:35 I had a guy send me a message.
00:55:38 I didn't say anything to him, but in my head, I'm like, who would tell, he says, thing was
00:55:40 like, your language is too aggressive.
00:55:42 I go, I'm an NFL linebacker, bro.
00:55:44 What are you talking about?
00:55:45 I did.
00:55:46 And I go, it's probably not for you, but I go, it's not all aggressive.
00:55:49 You said the meditation, the dark work is the meditation.
00:55:52 It's the hard conversations with your wife.
00:55:54 It's the loving on your kids.
00:55:55 It's telling them, hey, great job.
00:55:56 And it feels uncomfortable.
00:55:58 It's the acceptance of I'm not the best one for this.
00:55:59 This part of the work, it's taking insight from your employees.
00:56:02 The dark work is simply stuff the world doesn't see.
00:56:04 It's not all gritty, but when you've done that and you show up into the light, now you
00:56:09 have something grittier to use.
00:56:12 So if you can allow yourself to understand that the dark work is something that it's
00:56:14 just what you have to do in the back and people go, what's the difference between dark work
00:56:17 and shadow work?
00:56:18 Well, shadow work is finding out what's in the shadows.
00:56:20 It's affecting you.
00:56:22 Dark work is what you do once you know.
00:56:23 Yep.
00:56:24 And now that we have this progression, it can be softer, it can be lighter, but you're
00:56:27 going to show up in a defining moment and you do need that grittiness to win.
00:56:30 And success is the culmination of when you become your best self and the best version
00:56:35 of you.
00:56:36 And to do that requires the dark work.
00:56:37 And that's the stuff that scares most people.
00:56:39 It does.
00:56:40 And it scares most people because they don't have a tangible plan.
00:56:41 And what I love about what you're talking about here and what your coaching programs
00:56:45 are about, and for those listening who are trying to get there and don't know how, reach
00:56:49 out to Anthony because his coaching works.
00:56:52 I have friends that are clients of his.
00:56:54 I'm privileged enough to have him here and I'm using this to give myself coaching.
00:56:58 Hey, it's a good deal, man.
00:56:59 Yeah, I like it.
00:57:00 But this is the stuff that gets you where you need to be.
00:57:02 Yeah.
00:57:03 And that accountability, whether or not you have that individual, Anthony can be that
00:57:06 person.
00:57:07 And the fact that you've quantified the dark work, this side of it, because this is the
00:57:10 hardest stuff.
00:57:11 We know how to get there.
00:57:12 I mean, you can Google any diet plan, any workout plan, how to be successful in anything,
00:57:17 and you can find the skills necessary to learn.
00:57:20 I know how to eat right.
00:57:21 I know how to exercise.
00:57:22 But come 530 tomorrow morning when it's raining outside and I didn't get much sleep, am I
00:57:26 getting up?
00:57:28 That's what it all comes down to.
00:57:29 It does.
00:57:30 That's it.
00:57:31 And the amount of days I don't make exceptions.
00:57:32 I do the work.
00:57:33 I get up at six o'clock and I'm outside to make sure I get that 45 in outside.
00:57:36 Yeah.
00:57:37 Because 75 hard is no joke.
00:57:38 Yeah.
00:57:39 Full disclosure, I failed twice.
00:57:40 Yeah.
00:57:41 Yes.
00:57:42 It's not easy.
00:57:43 And I'm someone who is strong willed.
00:57:45 It's hard.
00:57:46 It's called 75 hard.
00:57:47 It looks easy.
00:57:48 It's hard.
00:57:49 Yeah.
00:57:50 I'm going to complete it this year.
00:57:51 I haven't set my new date yet, but I am doing it.
00:57:54 It's a personal mission of mine.
00:57:55 I made on Jan one nice to your point about focusing on the small small.
00:57:59 Thanks man.
00:58:00 You know what I you know what you know what got me the water dude me too.
00:58:03 That's the hardest.
00:58:04 I'm sitting here drinking this and I'm like I'm only even joking.
00:58:06 I'm like I'm usually by now.
00:58:08 We're at noon one.
00:58:09 I'm the gallons down and I have got exactly 48 ounces in me in my head.
00:58:13 I'm going to get a flight.
00:58:14 I can't be drinking a bunch.
00:58:15 I'm like sitting here.
00:58:16 Look at this.
00:58:17 I don't want to drink them.
00:58:18 So it's funny.
00:58:19 You say that that is what gets me to my wife's like not drink all the time.
00:58:21 I'm like I don't everything else I could read all workout.
00:58:24 It's the pounding water.
00:58:25 Yes, I can tell it.
00:58:26 I got to be by a bathroom at all times, but crazy that is the hardest part.
00:58:30 Yeah.
00:58:31 So for those who are listening, I know you gained a ton here.
00:58:33 Your mind is probably spiraling mine is you're excited.
00:58:36 You're motivated, but the key is discipline.
00:58:38 The key is to figure out your identity and how we shift to the right identity.
00:58:41 If you learn stuff from Anthony dial in that dark work reach out to him.
00:58:45 He's here.
00:58:46 He speaks all over the world.
00:58:48 I've had the privilege of listening to him a few times.
00:58:50 I can't wait for the next time we I'm either a guest or I get to share another stage with
00:58:53 you.
00:58:54 Yeah, but for those listening how best to reach out to you how best to get indoctrinated
00:58:57 into the Anthony coaching program the dark work just go to add Anthony trucks on Instagram.
00:59:02 There is a I don't know when this will go out, but there we are in the process of the
00:59:06 launch and then summer of 2023, but we have the website that the IG account kind of stuff.
00:59:10 And so we're I'm doing it right.
00:59:12 I think for me I had this idea that my biggest fear is to ruin it.
00:59:16 That makes sense.
00:59:17 You know, like it's such a powerful concept that I've done the work on that.
00:59:20 But every touch point for their brand is world-class.
00:59:23 It has to be very intentional.
00:59:25 So with that I'm not rushing it, but we do have you know, we've already worked with
00:59:28 companies like Amazon working with we've got individual coaching clients a whole beautiful
00:59:32 process, but that being said people could access it now.
00:59:36 It's available now.
00:59:37 I could do it now, but you wouldn't see it from the for like forefront of the brand until
00:59:40 the summertime, but just go to add Anthony trucks on Instagram.
00:59:43 Send me a message and yeah, we'll put all the links down below reach out to Anthony.
00:59:47 Tell me your dark side make him be your accountability coach because this is the man I'm telling
00:59:51 you as you've seen on this show.
00:59:53 We have a lot of successful people, but Anthony's the fuel that makes other people successful.
00:59:57 He does it every single day.
00:59:58 He works with high achievers and he can help you get from where you are today to that next
01:00:03 place and that identity shift where either you're an astronaut a pilot or even a driver
01:00:07 if that's our first step, but Anthony do thank you for making the time to come in awesome.
01:00:12 Seriously at a good time.
01:00:13 It's good.
01:00:14 Thank you.
01:00:15 Yeah.
01:00:16 Thank you so much for listening.
01:00:19 If you're looking to level up your relationship capital game, then take a minute and text
01:00:23 the word Jeff to three three seven seven seven for a free copy of my network to millions
01:00:29 playbook.
01:00:30 The link will also be provided in the show notes below.
01:00:33 See you guys next time.
01:00:33 [Music]