திருமணத்துக்குப் பிறகு ஏற்படும் பிரச்சனைகள் புதுமண தம்பதிகளுக்கு விரிவான விளக்கம் | Dr.Poorna Chandrika | HTT
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00 But that doesn't mean that you will have a happy life.
00:04 If that is the only criteria to love someone and get married,
00:09 then there is no chance that it will be a happy marriage.
00:14 We bring a baggage.
00:16 Whether the baggage is big or not,
00:18 we take a luggage out from the baggage and fight.
00:22 So this is the main reason.
00:24 The difference between love and marriage.
00:27 If you eat something and say, "Oh, I ate this, so you got fat.
00:30 Oh, I ate this, so you got fat."
00:32 If there is a joke beyond that,
00:35 it will be a very difficult thing.
00:37 Hello, Hindu Tamil TV viewers.
00:42 I am Dr. Poornachandrika,
00:44 I am a doctor, from the Government Mental Health Department, Kizhupakkam, Chennai.
00:47 Now, this is a film about mental health doctors,
00:51 or let it be counsellors.
00:53 They are looking for answers to the question,
00:57 "Are we bringing the story of the mental health of the patients into our lives?"
01:05 How do we know about our life?
01:09 We know from other people's experiences.
01:11 We don't have to experience it.
01:13 Whether it is a good or bad experience,
01:15 we know the lessons of our life from what others ask.
01:20 But for this, whether it is a mental health doctor,
01:24 or other counsellors, clinical psychologists,
01:27 or professionals,
01:29 are we bringing the problems of the clients we see,
01:32 the patients we see, to our home?
01:35 I take that as a difficult question.
01:40 Many people, I don't know about other professions,
01:43 but according to our profession,
01:45 the education we study in our profession is,
01:47 science and symptoms, mental illness,
01:51 apart from that, other things,
01:53 we have low self confidence,
01:55 low self esteem,
01:57 we don't know our personality,
02:00 we are a profession that can answer these questions.
02:05 So maybe, sometimes,
02:07 the answer to the big philosophical question, "Who am I?"
02:11 But apart from that,
02:13 the problems of the clients,
02:15 or the illness they have,
02:17 is something that is related to all professions.
02:20 Another big quality that a mental health doctor should have,
02:24 or a mental health professional,
02:26 is empathy.
02:28 We have to be in other person's shoes.
02:31 We have to see their situation,
02:33 and realize it,
02:35 only then can we treat them.
02:40 So that's what empathy is.
02:42 But apart from that,
02:44 we don't have to live in that.
02:47 Now, in a relationship,
02:49 if a person's body is very thin,
02:55 some people say that their body is very thin,
02:58 they don't get fat no matter what they do,
03:01 that means,
03:03 our body image,
03:05 our self image,
03:07 is something that is for each person.
03:09 A partner can say that out of concern,
03:12 but if they say that,
03:14 when they eat something,
03:16 "You got fat because of this,
03:18 eat more."
03:20 If they say that,
03:22 it will be a very difficult thing.
03:24 So, we can't accept that.
03:27 If they feel that,
03:29 they have a comfortable body shape,
03:31 that they are okay with their weight,
03:33 that they are healthy,
03:35 then,
03:37 it is their right.
03:39 If a partner can say that,
03:41 it can be said to a certain extent.
03:43 If you go beyond that,
03:45 you have to reduce,
03:47 you shouldn't eat this,
03:49 it will be very controlling.
03:51 If you go beyond that,
03:53 you shouldn't be restricted.
03:55 You shouldn't come in any relationship.
03:57 If you come,
03:59 it will create a separation.
04:01 I have seen many people who love,
04:03 they say,
04:05 "There was a guy,
04:07 he changed after marriage."
04:09 They say the same thing.
04:11 "When they were in love,
04:13 they were different,
04:15 but now they have changed."
04:17 When we are in love,
04:19 we don't see each other for 24 hours.
04:21 We see each other for half an hour.
04:23 In that short time,
04:25 we do our best performance.
04:27 We show what we are going to see,
04:29 what we should see,
04:31 what we should know about ourselves.
04:33 When that face will come out,
04:35 it will come out only after marriage.
04:37 The face that comes out after marriage,
04:39 will be a very difficult thing.
04:41 As the relationship progresses,
04:43 each one of us will get an emotional baggage.
04:45 Their relationship,
04:47 their relatives,
04:49 their finances,
04:51 their friends,
04:53 we bring a baggage.
04:55 As the baggage grows,
04:57 we take out a luggage from it,
04:59 and it keeps creating a fight.
05:01 This is the main reason.
05:03 The difference between love and marriage.
05:05 If a woman
05:07 is in love with another man
05:09 because of his bike,
05:11 his clothes,
05:13 his big Rolls Royce,
05:15 his BMW,
05:17 she is in love with him,
05:19 maybe in this era,
05:21 she will say, "You are not intelligent."
05:23 They say, "They caught a drum tree."
05:25 She will be intelligent like that.
05:27 But,
05:29 will that be a sweet thing for the rest of her life?
05:31 Money is not
05:33 the reason for happiness.
05:35 Everyone has said that.
05:37 There is money, but it doesn't mean
05:39 that a happy life will be established.
05:41 If that is the only criteria
05:43 to love someone and get married,
05:45 then definitely,
05:47 there is no chance
05:49 of a happy marriage.
05:51 Marriage is
05:53 when we meet,
05:55 when we talk,
05:57 when we are together.
05:59 Both of us should develop.
06:01 We should not be like, "I asked you,
06:03 you asked me."
06:05 We should be like, "I am studying,
06:07 I am writing a competitive exam,
06:09 he is taking care of the child,
06:11 I am taking care of him,
06:13 he is taking care of me."
06:15 There should be a partnership in marriage.
06:17 I think that will be good.
06:19 [BLANK_AUDIO]