The Saga of Windwagon Smith
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00:00 [Music]
00:28 [Music]
00:47 In Kansas land at the start of the trails that led to the Golden West,
00:54 the Oregon Trail and the Santa Fe were the two that were known the best.
01:00 Here in the town of Old Westport, the windswept trails begun.
01:07 But most of the time all the folks down there just drowsed in the Kansas sun.
01:14 Yippee-aye-yay and a yo-ho-ho get along, yes, swabs get along.
01:20 From the rolling free or the long prairie just a-hoi-hoi.
01:29 Steady as she goes.
01:32 [Music]
01:41 It sailed into Westport in a cloud of dust, down Main Street and past Quincy Store,
01:47 and then Hole 2 at the Star of the West started making a tack for shore.
01:53 Ahoy there, mate!
01:55 Bellied a voice from the dust as an anchor dropped over the side.
02:00 It neatly furled round the hitching post and the prairie schooner was tied.
02:05 The folks edged closer for a better look and were amazed at what they saw.
02:10 Boy, it's a carvered wagon, Conestoga type, but there ain't no auction to draw.
02:16 The difference was built above the top.
02:19 A deck ran from stem to stern.
02:22 A mast was rigged with a tattered sail and a tiller the wheels did turn.
02:30 Avast, me hearties!
02:32 The town folks stared and said nary a word, then pushed out Mayor Crumb.
02:38 He cleared his throat before he spoke.
02:42 Howdy! Where be you from?
02:44 Avast there, lubbers! I'm Captain Smith and I've sailed the seven seas.
02:50 Now I've cruised to the west and I intend to sail the lone prairies.
02:56 Well, your clothes don't look like nothing we've seen, but your wagon's the type we approve.
03:02 With no auction or horses to pull the darn thing, must be the wind makes 'em move.
03:07 You guessed it, me hearty.
03:09 But now let's go the talk. Well, I see what your galley holds. I haven't had chow for over a week.
03:15 My innards is furled and foaled.
03:20 He seated himself in the star of the west and yelled an order or two.
03:25 That's for some grog with biscuit and beef.
03:28 Lordy gawk was buffalo stew.
03:30 Served by the mayor's daughter, a beautiful craft was she.
03:35 With hair like a Zanzibar sunset and eyes like a blue-green sea.
03:46 She swayed with the grace of a schooner and had the lines of a full-rigged ship.
03:52 Captain Smith most swallowed his scuppers and his heart did a hornpipe flip.
04:00 Uh, uh-huh, uh-huh, um, my, go take a walk.
04:06 The captain me has got business, and business is just man talk.
04:15 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, ah, where was we at?
04:20 Oh, yes, about that wind wagon.
04:23 A question I'll clearly state.
04:25 Yes, I know you don't use any critters, but will the bling thing haul freight?
04:31 You can bet your last blinkin' barnacle.
04:34 Freight is just ballast, you know.
04:37 Her hold will hold a full cargo, and in Kansas the winds always blow.
04:44 The prairie is just like the ocean, only greener and drier, you see.
04:49 And the billowing waves of buffalo grass make sailing quite easy to be.
04:55 Now take the course chartered here on the map that leads down to old Santa Fe.
05:01 Oxen and wagons take almost two months.
05:04 I'll sail it in 14 days.
05:08 Now Jake Schaefer was one who could figure things out, so took pencil in hand with a pad.
05:14 He scratched down some figures and added 'em up.
05:17 That's a quarter of the time he got.
05:20 I'll write some more figures and push 'em about.
05:23 But that's four times the profit, plan C.
05:26 We could build a whole fleet of wind wagons.
05:29 Yeah, look at the money we'll make.
05:32 But they should be bigger and larger inside.
05:35 Then we'll make twice as much, don't you see?
05:38 Keep to it, you lovers, and stand by a while.
05:41 So happens I have the charts here with me.
05:44 He unfurled the plans of a super wind wagon where everyone could see.
05:50 Mates, I'm ready to organize the Prairie Clipper Company.
05:57 They all signed up and formed a board.
05:59 They shook hands with each other a while.
06:02 And monies were paid for keels to be laid.
06:05 Hit them out into quarter five.
06:10 They laid out the keel of the super wind wagon.
06:16 Worked on her day and night.
06:20 White oak and hickory were used in the ribs.
06:25 Birch for the wheels, just right.
06:33 Wind wagon met Molly each night after work on the unfinished deck that was free.
06:38 As they sat 'neath the moon, he'd tell her tales of life on the bounding sea.
06:46 Molly's father was one who frowned on such things.
06:49 You could see he was bad as a crow.
06:52 He said to his daughter, "Molly!"
06:55 Oh, dear.
06:56 "Get for the house. I've heard about sailors, you know."
07:04 Then came the day the wind wagon was finished.
07:07 What a sight for everyone's eyes.
07:10 Her 12-foot wheels had hubs big as barrels, and her mast seemed to reach the sky.
07:16 The wagon tongue ran up to the deck as a tiller it stood in good stead.
07:21 A tobacco store wooden Indian was used for the craft's figurehead.
07:26 So beautifully fitted and greased it was, she'd move with the touch of a hand.
07:35 And they rolled her out to the edge of town,
07:42 accompanied by the Westport band.
07:51 Molly got set to christen the craft.
07:53 Mid cheers and a toot of a horn,
07:56 she took dead aim on the wood Indian's head and broke a jug of old Kansas corn.
08:10 The board of directors were set for the voyage, and Miss Molly led them up to the hold.
08:15 When her father said, "Molly, go take a walk. This cruise is for men," she was told.
08:25 Admiral Wind Wagon Smith mounted the deck and whacked the bell eight times o'er.
08:30 Then looked in the hold that was fully packed and yelled,
08:34 "All ashore that's going ashore!"
08:38 Now he unfurled the mainsail down to the deck, then grabbed the long tiller pole.
08:44 The sail bellied out in the Kansas breeze, and the wind wagon started to roll.
08:49 She headed down the Santa Fe trail, she picked up speed in the breeze.
08:56 Down below the directors sat, trying to control their knees.
09:02 Trotting a squat through the buffalo grass, the clipper sailed along.
09:08 Wind Wagon Smith was so pleased with his craft, he started to sing his song.
09:14 Yippee-yi-yay and a yo-ho-ho on our maiden voyage we sail.
09:19 We're on our way to Santa Fe, and we're really a-blazin' the trail.
09:27 I calculate we're going 60.
09:30 60?
09:32 Coyote reef dead ahead.
09:37 Bacon carriages hard aboard.
09:40 Engines?
09:42 Rig for off-sea.
09:47 Fasten down the hatches.
09:54 Stop this contraption?
09:56 If you don't stop, we'll sue.
10:00 Let us off! Let us off!
10:03 Okay, you swabs, hold on to your seats. I'm gonna bring her about.
10:08 He pushed on the tiller and turned back toward town, the sail angled out from the mast.
10:13 Then he pulled on the handle to straighten her out.
10:15 Lo and behold, the wheels, it stuck fast.
10:19 Smith pulled and tugged with all of his might, but his efforts were all in vain.
10:24 She sailed in a circle two miles wide.
10:27 The board was still raising cash.
10:34 Now each time the wagon sailed past the town, a member or two would jump out.
10:40 Like rats abandon a sinking ship, they'd hit running and tumbling about.
10:53 Here comes another.
10:55 It's his honor, the mayor.
10:58 When wagon Smith was now all alone and bowed, "I'll go down with the wreck."
11:04 Then his eyes did pop as the hatch cover opened and Molly climbed out on the deck.
11:10 She tacked to the stern and hoved to at Smith's side.
11:13 "I was hidden," she coyly did say.
11:16 "Well, shiver me timbers and furl me jibs. You're the wind wagon's first stowaway.
11:23 Now you better get off, 'cause I can't steer, and I'm afeard her seams will rip.
11:29 We're in for a blow from that hurricane."
11:31 "My captain, don't give up the ship."
11:34 Just then the old Kansas twister hit, with a howl like a wild Cherokee.
11:42 She sun-fished and bucked and the wheels did shake.
11:47 Then the tiller broke itself free.
11:50 "I can steer her again, and we'll ride out the scales."
11:55 He fought the storm without rest.
11:58 The wagon sailed out on top of the blow as the twister headed due west.
12:03 The old wind wagon wasn't heard of again, except in tales old timers told.
12:19 They saw a wagon amongst the clouds when the sun set turned to gold.
12:29 She'd be a-sailing in the painted sky, they'd swear, on a buffalo hide.
12:39 Wind wagon Smith was a-steering this rig with a beautiful gal at his side.
12:49 The yippee-i-yay and the yo-ho-ho were sailing along on high.
12:57 Just Polly and me or the lone prairie on our wagon way up in the sky.
13:06 On our wagon way up in the sky.
13:15 [music]
13:24 [BLANK_AUDIO]