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00:00 ♪ (theme music)
00:05 ♪ (theme music)
00:20 (crowd cheering)
00:27 Horse racing. Color, thrills, excitement.
00:30 This is truly the sport of kings.
00:33 Today, horse racing has become a science.
00:35 A science to test the skill of the professional and unprofessional handicapper.
00:41 The well-informed turf man must know the individual merits of the competing horses.
00:45 He must consider all the elements.
00:47 Wind velocity, humidity, rotation of the earth, time of day, temperature, drift indication, lay of the land.
00:54 Racing horses are called thoroughbreds.
00:57 All descending from pure Arabian stock.
01:00 And are known to the fan as hay burners, goats,
01:04 (goat bleating)
01:05 dogs,
01:06 (dog barking)
01:07 (howling)
01:09 and bangtails.
01:10 (thud)
01:11 (triumphant music)
01:13 Ah, the system horse is snapshot the third.
01:16 Now to properly evaluate the fine points of a horse's conformation,
01:20 first see that the quarter, stifle, hock, gaskin, and pastern are all in line.
01:24 See that the cannon bone is due south and slightly to the rear of the coupling point of the hip.
01:28 See that the loin throat latch is well sloped into the e pluribus unum of the maxillary hip joint muzzle at the turn of the fetlock or T-bone.
01:35 Beware of a flexor perforatus imperfectly imbricated with a navicular session or front bone.
01:39 Make doubly sure that the triangle formed by the withers, girth place, and flank prime ribs
01:43 is an extreme opposite of the equilateral hexagon formed by the loin chuck coronary withers and girth place.
01:47 Then check the withers, forearm brisket, against the pasterns and fetlock chestnut.
01:50 Observe the shoulder width of the gaskin brisket trail as in Jorgensen's ratio of four to one.
01:52 Compare the integration of the front latch cannon bone over the outspine with the medium up and quartered bone brisket point inflate.
01:56 So much for confirmation.
01:58 Now look at the pedigree of your horse.
02:00 Snapshot the third out of developer by hypo-developer,
02:03 out of bromide by flash bulb and hypo,
02:06 out of tin type by negative.
02:08 Since tin type the first, horses of this line have been noted for their burning speed.
02:13 And they are also noted as camera muggers or lens lousers.
02:19 Ah, weather clear, track fast.
02:24 Once inside the clubhouse, you are instantly aware that you're rubbing elbows with the elite of the sporting world.
02:30 You'll hear a good deal of discussion as to the respective merits of this horse or that,
02:35 but you will not be tempted by the touts.
02:37 You stick to your goodies.
02:39 Snapshot the third.
02:41 There are many systems of picking a winner.
02:43 Some fans get their dope straight from the feed bag.
02:47 Others write from the horse's mouth.
02:52 Listen, Doc, there's a big filly in the toad that's looking pretty good to me.
03:01 Horses are coming out on the track.
03:03 Ah, what a sight.
03:10 The horse, the favorite, every inch a champion.
03:13 Look at that confirmation.
03:18 It looks like our psychic friend is going to pick himself a horse.
03:22 Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
03:25 Moe, moe.
03:28 Moe, moe, that's it, old moe.
03:32 A hundred to one shot.
03:57 Two dollars on old moe, please.
04:00 The horses are entering the starting gate.
04:02 The atmosphere is electric.
04:04 The cameramen are ready, the press is ready,
04:06 the jockeys and mounts are keyed to the last notch of excited tenseness.
04:09 Ah, this is a great moment.
04:11 The crowd is hushed.
04:12 High overhead, the judges are ready, and, and they're off.
04:18 At the start, it's Insomnia in front by a head, Flannel Cake is second by a half,
04:22 Frank Case is third by two lengths, Baker's Dozen is fourth by a nose, Plumber's Friend, and old moe.
04:28 The crowd continues to break.
04:36 Around the clubhouse turn, it's Flannel Cake on the rail by four lengths,
04:39 Insomnia's second by a head, Frank Case's third by a length and a half, and beeswax.
04:44 Old moe is trailing.
04:54 The crowd is stretched and still Flannel Cake by, and here comes Snapshot, closing very fast.
04:58 Look at that horse come.
04:59 It looks like a quarterback sneak.
05:00 What interference, five, ten, fifteen yards, and he's smeared, smeared hard.
05:04 He's trying to find an opening, but they've got him boxed in.
05:06 No, he's away.
05:08 Boy, oh boy, it's been a long time since we've seen a show like this.
05:11 That horse has speed to burn.
05:13 It's Snapshot all the way.
05:15 He's just tiptoeing.
05:19 Insomnia's second by two lengths, Plumber's Friend is third by a half,
05:22 Clumberhouse is fourth by a nose, Snapshot broke down.
05:26 Into the stretch, it's Insomnia in front by a head, Plumber's Friend is second by a neck,
05:30 Cheeseburger is third by one, Frank Case is fourth by two lengths,
05:33 K.O. Justice is fifth by a head, Bubble Bath is sixth by a length and a half,
05:37 and Snapshot is coming again.
05:40 He's fifth, he's fourth, he's third, he's second, and he takes the lead.
05:47 And out of the pack comes Old Moe.
05:54 It's Old Moe and Snapshot.
05:56 It's Old Moe and Snapshot baffling it out neck to neck.
05:59 It's a driving finish. It's Old Moe and Snapshot.
06:03 And now it's Snapshot by a nose.
06:06 They're coming across the line of finish, and Snapshot--
06:08 But wait, it's going to be a photo finish.
06:15 And the winner, Old Moe, the hundred to one shot.
06:19 Snapshot just couldn't resist the camera.
06:23 Tough luck, old pal. You can't win every time.
06:27 Or can you?
06:29 [music]