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FunTranscript
00:00 [music playing]
00:03 Welcome to the auto race, ladies and gentlemen.
00:26 [laughs]
00:28 You'll be seeing a lot of your old favorites today.
00:30 Some of the drivers have driven from as far away as Los
00:33 Angeles in order to take part in this annual race.
00:37 Step on it, you lunkheads.
00:38 The race is about to start.
00:40 I don't get it.
00:41 Why are we pushing?
00:41 To save gas.
00:43 Well.
00:44 And now, drivers, mount up your hustlers carriages.
00:48 The race is about to begin.
00:49 Clear the track, please.
00:53 Now, here's our starting lineup.
00:55 In car number one, Eddie Rutabaga.
00:58 [cheering]
01:00 In car number two, Dirty Dan Dimwitty, last year's champ.
01:05 Wave to the dirty crowd, Dad.
01:07 I mean, wave to the crowd, Dirty.
01:09 [mimics crowd cheering]
01:12 [mimics crowd cheering]
01:14 Old Dirty is the unpopular favorite
01:16 to win this race again, like every year.
01:19 Uh-oh, get set, gang.
01:21 There goes the gun.
01:22 [gunshot]
01:25 They're off.
01:26 [engine revving]
01:29 All right, who turned out the lights?
01:31 Maybe they'll call the race on account of darkness.
01:35 [laughs]
01:36 I just love these dirty, tricky starts.
01:41 Hey, this supposed to be going forward.
01:43 But that's up to the driver.
01:44 All right, wise guy, this is just a temporary setback.
01:47 [music playing]
01:51 [engine revving]
01:54 I've heard of horsepower, but this is ridiculous.
01:57 Eddie Rutabaga has the lead, followed closely
02:00 by Billy Begonia.
02:01 And wait a minute, there's old Dirty Dan Dimwitty.
02:05 He's leading the pack.
02:07 He's pulling away.
02:08 But hold it, ladies and gentlemen.
02:10 Here come the three stooges.
02:12 I don't believe it.
02:13 [laughs]
02:15 Oh, still trying to catch up with old Dirty Dan, eh?
02:18 [music playing]
02:21 [horn honking]
02:23 Hang on, the bridge is up.
02:26 So are we.
02:27 It's nice up here this time of day.
02:30 Yeah, no traffic.
02:31 Last one down is a rotten egg.
02:33 [horn honking]
02:35 How about that?
02:36 We're in the lead again.
02:38 [music playing]
02:41 [engine revving]
02:45 [horn honking]
02:48 [engine revving]
02:51 That does it.
02:52 [horn honking]
02:55 Nothing tells me we should have let them pass.
02:57 [music playing]
03:00 [engine revving]
03:03 [whistle]
03:04 [explosion]
03:06 Hey, I can see Hawaii from here.
03:09 Don't worry, I'll get us down.
03:11 I don't doubt that for a minute.
03:12 [engine revving]
03:13 [cheering]
03:15 And here comes the winning auto now.
03:16 Of course, it's Dirty Dan and-- wait a minute.
03:20 It's the Three Stooges.
03:21 Hey, slow down.
03:24 We're out of control.
03:25 Naturally, we got no brakes.
03:28 Brake!
03:29 Brake!
03:30 Brake!
03:31 [explosion]
03:32 We got the trophy.
03:33 You never look better, you jughead.
03:35 We're champs.
03:36 Nothing can stop us now.
03:38 You ain't kidding.
03:39 We'll be traveling clear in the next Wednesday.
03:41 Drag your feet, you knuckleheads.