Sa pilot episode ng Comedy Bar, makakakita ka ng bruskong bakla at matandang takot sa mama na magbibigay ng saya kasama sina Alan K at Eugene Domingo!
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00:00 From Studio 7 of GMA Network,
00:03 here is the show that will be played on Saturday,
00:06 "The Comedy Bar".
00:08 And here are the guests,
00:11 Alan Kay and Eugene Domingo.
00:15 Yay! I heard it! I heard it!
00:18 Yay!
00:20 I heard it! I heard your name!
00:24 Yes! Here it is!
00:26 Here it is!
00:28 We'll just get closer if we shout.
00:31 It's like there's a rally.
00:33 What's that?
00:35 What's up, guys?
00:37 This is our first episode.
00:38 We should be energetic to reach this.
00:40 That's right!
00:41 Everyone who will celebrate here,
00:43 this is the night for you!
00:46 Yes!
00:48 Let's welcome our studio audience
00:51 here at the Comedy Bar.
00:52 And let's also welcome those who are dancing
00:55 in front of their televisions.
00:57 We'll be so happy!
00:59 I told you that you don't have to go out every Saturday.
01:02 You can just stay here at the Comedy Bar.
01:04 We'll answer you.
01:05 If you're not happy with our beauty,
01:09 don't touch your television.
01:10 Just listen to it.
01:11 Okay?
01:13 Okay, director.
01:14 I'll pack up. I'm tired.
01:16 What?
01:18 We're just starting.
01:20 I told you to prepare for the ambulance.
01:23 I thought that
01:25 the first episode will be the one with the loudest voice.
01:28 Even the song will be loud.
01:30 I told you that I want to sing "Someone to Watch Over Me"
01:33 with a loud voice.
01:34 Do you know that GMA has a gift for you?
01:39 Promise?
01:40 They said that you're the leading man here.
01:42 My leading man?
01:43 Yes, you.
01:44 They told me that you're the leading man.
01:46 Me?
01:47 No, they told me that as an additional bonus,
01:50 you're the leading man.
01:52 Don't do that to me.
01:54 I'm easy to be fooled.
01:55 You know what, Bes?
01:56 I'm okay.
01:58 I'm not.
01:59 God's mercy, my career is okay.
02:01 The projects that I'm giving are good.
02:03 I'm okay. I'm used to being alone.
02:05 Let's look at you. Who is that?
02:07 Fabio.
02:08 Is that Fabio?
02:09 I don't know. Who is that?
02:11 Take a look at those eyes.
02:13 That face.
02:15 And most of all,
02:18 that body.
02:20 Do you know the saying,
02:22 "Body is everything"?
02:25 Well, we're having a party here at Gwapo
02:28 and super sexy Brazilian Japanese hunk,
02:30 Fabio Ide.
02:32 From fashion magazines and international runways,
02:36 and now, he goes straight into your very own homes.
02:41 You can join him now because he's ready to make your hot Saturday nights hotter.
02:48 Meet him up close and personal.
02:51 Right here at Comedy Bar,
02:53 our resident hunk, Fabio Ide.
02:56 Hello, guys. Good evening.
02:58 How are you?
02:59 It's a privilege to be here with you guys.
03:01 How are you?
03:02 Nice to be with you.
03:03 You keep saying "How are you?"
03:05 Is there no one else?
03:06 How are you?
03:07 I'm good.
03:08 Say "Yes" right away.
03:10 I'm sorry.
03:12 Bes, he's talking to me.
03:15 Fabio, please know we're televised.
03:18 He's really like that because he's already done it in Bohol.
03:22 So he really remembers the parties.
03:24 What's up, sir?
03:25 Don't come near him.
03:27 He's dangerous.
03:29 He's dangerous.
03:30 What's up?
03:31 What?
03:32 You're going to get kicked.
03:34 I know the story of how he got in Comedy Bar.
03:37 Bes, let's watch this.
03:39 Okay.
03:40 Good evening.
03:42 Yes?
03:43 I'm a model and also co-host for the Comedy Bar.
03:45 Comedy Bar?
03:46 What's your name?
03:48 Fabio.
03:49 Fabio.
03:50 Wait, wait.
03:51 Where are you?
03:52 I'm at the Comedy Bar.
03:53 I'm a co-host.
03:54 Wait, wait.
03:55 You're a co-host?
03:56 He's also a co-host.
03:57 You too?
03:58 Yes, I'm a co-host.
04:00 What's your name?
04:01 Fabio.
04:02 Fabio.
04:03 Look at that.
04:04 It might be a little bit hard to read.
04:05 What's the spelling of Fabio?
04:07 Fabio.
04:08 Fabio.
04:09 B-A-B-Y-O.
04:11 Fabio.
04:12 B-A-B-O.
04:13 Wait.
04:14 Maybe it's B-A-B-O-Y.
04:16 Fabio.
04:17 You know what?
04:19 One of you is lying.
04:21 My Lord, let him in.
04:27 Let's start dating.
04:28 There are two people here.
04:30 They're both saying they're co-hosts.
04:32 This is Fabio.
04:33 This is Fabio.
04:34 My Lord, this is Fabio.
04:37 This is Fabio.
04:38 Oh, he thumps?
04:40 Fabio.
04:43 I'll go to my car.
04:44 I'll get my stuff.
04:46 Wait for me here.
04:47 Why are you there?
04:50 What do you know?
04:51 I'm sure.
04:52 I'm going to get late.
04:57 Enriquez.
05:00 What did you say?
05:02 Earlier, the person I talked to here,
05:04 he's in the house, he's stealing.
05:05 Fabio?
05:07 He's in the house?
05:08 Yes, my mom.
05:09 Yeah!
05:12 Thank you so much.
05:13 That's it?
05:19 If B-A-B-O-Y isn't in the house,
05:22 you're not going to join the common bar?
05:24 To be gone, he needs to be in the house.
05:26 Fabio is a waste.
05:28 His life is so short.
05:29 Short-lived career.
05:31 I wish I could partner with him.
05:34 No.
05:35 He's so ugly.
05:37 Because, Bes, Fabio is not the only one we're flirting with.
05:40 There's more.
05:41 There is!
05:42 I told you, we eat a lot.
05:43 Beer gins!
05:46 Let's welcome!
05:47 Bes, it's so delicious.
05:58 Their food is so delicious.
06:02 What do you want to eat?
06:05 I'll just have this.
06:06 This is chicken.
06:07 And chicken again.
06:08 I want this.
06:09 I want this.
06:10 It looks like Michael Flores.
06:11 When you start working,
06:12 when you earn money,
06:13 give them tips.
06:14 Okay,
06:16 pass that to the one who drinks fabric conditioner.
06:20 Why do you drink blue?
06:22 What are you?
06:23 Drink that!
06:24 I want to see you drink that.
06:26 It's good that you noticed.
06:28 If you see, you're drinking the other one.
06:30 Cuticle remover on the rocks.
06:33 There's pulp bits, Max.
06:36 This is not on the rocks.
06:39 It's just a remover.
06:40 There's an extra shot of fabric conditioner.
06:42 Drink that and say that it's just props.
06:45 Fabio did that too, Bes.
06:47 Fabio!
06:48 Fabio's gone.
06:49 What's in there?
06:50 I'm sure the first night of the fun
06:54 every Saturday night will be fun.
06:55 So keep it here.
06:57 We'll be back with Comedy Bar!
07:00 Let's get loud!
07:02 Let's get loud!
07:04 Turn the music up to hear the sound!
07:08 Let's get loud!
07:10 Let's get loud!
07:11 Welcome back to Comedy Bar!
07:13 Welcome back!
07:14 Fabio has a joke.
07:16 Really?
07:17 What's your joke?
07:18 There's a joke here.
07:20 What?
07:21 What?
07:22 Repeat it.
07:23 What fish is loud?
07:27 What fish is loud?
07:30 Your favorite fish.
07:33 I'm sure this is the answer, Bes.
07:35 The fish is loud because it's caught.
07:38 Wrong.
07:39 It's caught?
07:41 I know.
07:43 It's caught.
07:44 That's right.
07:45 Wrong.
07:46 Wrong?
07:47 It's caught?
07:48 It's caught?
07:49 What's the fish that's loud?
07:51 What's the fish that's loud?
07:54 The fish is not caught yet.
07:58 The fish is not caught yet.
08:02 It's so funny, right?
08:05 My goodness, you're so funny.
08:08 You deserve a kiss!
08:10 This is the funniest joke I've heard in my life.
08:17 It's so funny.
08:18 If I were--
08:19 You're so good.
08:21 You're so good.
08:22 I promise.
08:23 After the joke, let's play a game.
08:26 Welcome back to Comedy Bar!
08:37 A lot of people came to audition here at Comedy Bar.
08:40 Did you know that all the malls that were visited by Comedy Bar were flooded?
08:46 Yes.
08:47 A lot of people auditioned.
08:48 A lot of people wanted to be a stand-up comedian or a comedian.
08:52 Let's watch how they made people laugh so they could perform here at Comedy Bar.
08:57 Patinye!
08:58 That's what they dreamed of.
09:01 Everyone believed in it.
09:04 You know, sir, a lot of people told me that I'm so beautiful.
09:07 They said I'm so beautiful that they want to tease me.
09:09 But only a few of them will be given a chance to make people laugh.
09:15 I thought you were going to say something.
09:18 So, get ready to laugh because here's the first person to make you laugh.
09:24 Okay, Bes, before we laugh,
09:28 here's the first person to make our Beardjames laugh.
09:31 The first one to laugh is Woop Padjan.
09:34 That's just how it is.
09:43 It's so funny.
09:45 It's just dip-dip and it's already a dish.
09:50 This is so funny.
09:52 Beardjames, thank you very much.
09:56 Thank you, Beardjames.
09:58 Thank you.
09:59 This is one of my favorite segments of our show, Comedy Bar.
10:06 We know that a lot of people have dreams.
10:10 They want to be given a chance to watch and show their talent in making people laugh.
10:15 Here it is.
10:16 This is our first stand-up comedian who has been making people laugh for 3 years.
10:20 37 years old.
10:22 From Taguig, Alex Calleja.
10:24 Yeah.
10:25 Let's go, Bes.
10:26 Yes, Des.
10:27 Good evening, Comedy Bar.
10:30 Clap your hands.
10:31 This might be the last time I clap my hands tonight.
10:35 To all the viewers on TV, even if you're alone, clap your hands.
10:38 So that your neighbors won't be able to see you.
10:40 I want to thank you all.
10:42 I'm out of the house and my parents are so noisy.
10:45 I started when I was a kid.
10:47 I talked to my mom when I was a kid.
10:49 "Alex, we're having a hard time.
10:51 So study well."
10:52 I replied, "Yes, mom. I will."
10:55 "You speak English? Are you trying to fool me?
10:58 Don't you dare study."
11:00 I was confused.
11:01 When I was a kid, I was a kid.
11:04 I have 10 siblings.
11:07 So they always gave me the oldest clothes.
11:09 But sometimes I got mad.
11:11 I said, "Mom, this has got to stop."
11:12 My mom was shocked.
11:14 "Son, you're so arrogant.
11:16 Why are you wearing that?
11:17 Huh? You're so stubborn."
11:20 "Mom, I'm wearing my sister's underwear.
11:21 Not her blouse."
11:22 It's too much, you know?
11:25 And red is not my color.
11:27 When I was a kid, I had a lot of friends.
11:31 We played.
11:33 My mom would come and talk.
11:35 "Alex, you're going to get caught.
11:37 Don't run away."
11:38 I lost a friend since then.
11:42 Then my dad would come and ask me to find his underwear.
11:46 "Alex, look for my underwear.
11:48 If you can't find it, you'll find it."
11:50 I still haven't found it.
11:53 Sometimes I didn't want to go home.
11:57 I planned to go abroad.
11:59 My dad called me.
12:01 "Alex, why don't you go home?
12:04 If you don't go home, I'll fire you."
12:06 I went home.
12:09 When I got home, my mom called me.
12:13 "Where did you come from?"
12:14 "From my friend."
12:15 "You're still answering?"
12:17 "What did you do to your friend?"
12:21 "What did you do?"
12:24 "You can't answer? You're on drugs."
12:26 "I'm sorry. I'm out. It hurts."
12:29 My mom said,
12:31 "Come here. I'll talk to you.
12:32 I'm not done yet.
12:33 Come here."
12:34 Of course, I followed her.
12:35 I approached her.
12:36 "You're going to fight, huh?"
12:38 "I'm so happy.
12:45 Call me 'Tawa' because I'm in pain."
12:47 "I'm not able to handle it.
12:48 Call me 'Tawa.'"
12:49 "What? Really?"
12:52 "I don't know you.
12:54 I'm just joking.
12:55 I'm not an artist."
12:56 "I'm outside."
12:58 To my mom and dad who are watching this,
13:01 thank you so much.
13:02 I'm doing this.
13:03 And to Comedy Bar,
13:06 we're all good to you.
13:07 Thank you for giving us this.
13:08 Please welcome Alex Calieja.
13:10 That's Alex Calieja.
13:12 Alex, how did you start being a stand-up comedian?
13:15 I'm laughing at you.
13:16 How about this?
13:17 I started from starvation.
13:18 "From?"
13:19 I started from starvation.
13:20 "From starvation?"
13:21 Yes.
13:22 "Are you still starving?"
13:24 "You're a murderer."
13:26 "In fairness,
13:28 I'm obese."
13:30 "In fairness, Alex is amazing."
13:33 "I've heard a lot of his materials,
13:38 but this is the first time I've heard
13:41 new materials."
13:44 "It's not easy to face people,
13:46 but he didn't forget.
13:48 He's always straight.
13:49 He doesn't have stage fright."
13:51 "Alex is amazing.
13:52 Let's give him a round of applause."
13:54 "Thank you so much."
13:55 "Thank you, Alex."
13:56 "Thank you, Alan."
13:58 "I don't want to say thank you.
13:59 I'm leaving.
14:00 I'm leaving."
14:01 "Studio audience,
14:02 please send your song requests
14:04 to the Beer Jeans
14:05 and they will sing it later.
14:07 All of that
14:08 on the return of
14:10 Comedy Pop!"
14:27 Welcome! Welcome back to Comedy Bar!
14:30 You thought it was over, Alan?
14:32 It's not over, Bes!
14:33 I won't give up!
14:34 There's more?
14:35 Yes!
14:36 Oh, no!
14:37 Do you have another joke?
14:39 It's a brand new joke.
14:40 What?
14:41 A brand new joke!
14:42 A very new joke.
14:43 Especially for you guys.
14:44 Thank you.
14:45 Okay.
14:46 I'm excited.
14:47 Go ahead.
14:48 Go ahead with your brand new joke.
14:50 That's the joke of the knock-knock.
14:53 Knock-knock!
14:55 The black one is knock-knock.
14:57 It's a funny comic.
14:59 Knock-knock.
15:00 Okay.
15:01 Who's there?
15:02 Okay, okay.
15:03 You say knock-knock first.
15:04 Knock-knock.
15:06 Who's there?
15:07 Is it me?
15:09 Is it me?
15:11 It's so funny, right?
15:17 Is it me?
15:20 It's so funny.
15:24 You know what?
15:25 I'm going to get hurt.
15:26 What's happening?
15:28 It's so funny.
15:29 That's the joke.
15:31 That's it.
15:32 I'm the bad guy.
15:33 I'm so embarrassed.
15:34 We can't even think of that.
15:36 It's just him.
15:38 You're such a genius.
15:40 You're a comic genius.
15:42 Thank you.
15:43 I'm so proud of you.
15:45 Knock-knock.
15:49 Is it funny?
15:50 Kiss your genius, please.
15:52 Kiss, kiss, kiss.
15:54 It's like he knows.
15:57 He knows how to avoid it.
15:59 He knows how to avoid it.
16:01 Let's continue.
16:03 Let's continue laughing with our comedians tonight.
16:06 36 years old from Cainta, Leo Priscilla.
16:09 Good evening.
16:16 Welcome to Comedy Bar.
16:17 I'm still young.
16:20 I'm afraid of our place.
16:22 Look at me.
16:24 I look like a boxer.
16:26 I'm the bully in our school.
16:30 If I want to get my classmate's bow,
16:33 I shout,
16:35 "Hey!
16:36 Give me your bow!"
16:38 I'm afraid that they'll give me their bow.
16:41 I'm even shaking.
16:42 But when I got older,
16:47 I thought
16:49 that I don't want to be like that anymore.
16:50 I want to
16:53 love girls.
16:55 So I stopped being a bully.
16:58 And I discovered
17:01 that girls like that.
17:04 And I discovered something in myself
17:07 that I want to be alone.
17:10 Girl.
17:12 So,
17:14 I'm here now.
17:15 Isn't it funny?
17:18 I'm laughing.
17:19 Wait.
17:21 I'm laughing.
17:22 I'm laughing.
17:23 But my heart is like,
17:24 "Oh,
17:26 Jinky."
17:27 You think
17:29 it's hard for me to be a gay?
17:32 It's hard!
17:34 Sometimes,
17:36 I meet a man
17:38 who's even worse than my date.
17:40 I don't want that!
17:41 But,
17:43 I'm still able to handle it.
17:47 When
17:48 I see someone
17:49 who's a pop ball,
17:51 this is what I do.
17:53 "Hey!
17:55 Will you go on a date with me?"
17:57 I'm so afraid that they'll throw me out
18:00 and ask me to go on a date.
18:01 I love it!
18:03 I have to go now.
18:05 Bye!
18:07 It's over.
18:09 It's over.
18:11 Thank you!
18:12 Thank you!
18:13 You're done.
18:14 Thank you, Leo!
18:15 Wait.
18:16 Thank you!
18:17 Are you...
18:18 Your jacket!
18:19 Are you really a man
18:21 or a type of sea plant?
18:23 The truth.
18:25 Yes.
18:27 Are you really a man
18:29 or a lizard?
18:31 No, the truth.
18:33 A man.
18:34 A man?
18:35 No, the truth.
18:36 Talk to me.
18:37 Are you really a man?
18:39 I'm really a man.
18:40 Do you have a girlfriend?
18:41 No.
18:42 No girlfriend?
18:43 No.
18:44 Confirm.
18:46 I'm so scared that you'll say that you're really a man.
18:48 No, I just look like a man.
18:51 But my blood is green.
18:53 Leo,
18:57 Best, let's invite our viewers
18:59 to support their favorite comedians on Facebook.
19:02 We have a fan page for Comedy Bar.
19:05 And here in Comedy Bar,
19:07 there's no winner or loser among the comedians
19:10 who will perform here.
19:13 Leo, thank you very much.
19:15 Thank you!
19:16 Confirm.
19:17 Oh, you're still trembling.
19:19 Welcome back!
19:32 Thank you very much!
19:33 And let's thank Best.
19:35 Yes.
19:36 The show is so fun today.
19:37 We have a lot of supporters.
19:39 Thank you so much to Minami.
19:41 Minami has great quality.
19:43 YJC Boutique, Garfield, Snoopy, Brazilian,
19:47 Agaricus Coffee, Zagoo,
19:50 BB Breadstick, Winsky Enterprise,
19:53 Media Com, DVD OK,
19:55 SNL, Dictary Supplements,
19:57 Francia Wine,
19:59 Korean Village Restaurant,
20:00 and Malate Manila.
20:02 Let's thank our personal sponsors.
20:04 Dr. Steve Marcant of GAOC,
20:07 Dr. Ismani and Paik Alaya,
20:08 Dr. Paul Mabini,
20:09 Dr. Ismani and Paik Alaya,
20:11 Dr. Bobby Ang of Asian Eye Institute.
20:13 And thank you to Dr. Jose Rizal.
20:16 For the legends and legacies
20:21 that he left in our country.
20:22 That's right.
20:23 And of course,
20:24 we would like to acknowledge
20:25 our band members.
20:27 The six-feet-long,
20:29 on drums,
20:30 Michael!
20:32 On bass,
20:34 Tim!
20:36 First keyboard,
20:38 Ivan!
20:40 Second keyboard,
20:42 Ian!
20:44 Vocals,
20:46 J. Perilio!
20:49 And our musical director,
20:52 on lead guitar,
20:53 Weko!
20:55 Oh, so he's Weko.
20:58 Awesome.
20:59 And T.Y.,
21:00 thank you very much.
21:02 How did you write it?
21:04 T.Y.,
21:05 Nabs MKTG.
21:07 Thank you,
21:14 Nabs Marketing.
21:15 And add us, please,
21:17 on Facebook.
21:19 Become a member.
21:20 I'm a member now.
21:21 Are you a member now?
21:22 Huh?
21:23 Of Facebook.
21:24 I'm a member of the federation.
21:25 Follow us on Facebook,
21:28 comedybar.gma@gmail.com
21:32 And for those who want to watch Comedy Bar,
21:34 please get tickets from Maru Valencia
21:37 here at GMA 7 Annex
21:40 every Tuesday, 3pm to 5pm,
21:42 or text 0921-2910163
21:47 for a petition.
21:48 Thank you to our live audience.
21:50 Thank you very much.
21:51 We're alive.
21:52 Show yourselves.
21:54 And to those who are joking,
22:00 laughing,
22:01 singing
22:02 here at P.S.
22:04 Comedy Bar in their homes,
22:06 thank you very much.
22:08 Let's call our guests again.
22:10 Fabio!
22:11 Come to mama.
22:13 Come here.
22:14 Stop it.
22:15 Your joke is over.
22:16 The Beardjins.
22:17 You don't have a joke anymore, huh?
22:18 The Beardjins.
22:20 Tomas, come here.
22:22 Tomas, come here.
22:25 Tomas is next to Fabio.
22:31 You're next to Fabio.
22:33 He doesn't have a rubbish bin.
22:35 Don't worry.
22:36 I'm okay with Tomas next to me.
22:38 I'm getting prettier.
22:40 Thank you, Beardjins.
22:42 Thank you, Fabio.
22:43 Thank you, Direk.
22:44 Thank you to all of you.
22:45 I look forward to seeing you again next week
22:47 here at Comedy Bar!
22:50 (cheering)