Tarek El Moussa: Overcoming Obstacles and Finding Success in Real Estate
In this episode of Jeff Fenster's podcast, Tarek El Moussa, a renowned real estate entrepreneur, shares his inspiring journey of triumph over adversity and how he achieved remarkable success in the industry.
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00:00 Going back, if I had been someone that listened to instructions,
00:03 "Be quiet, wait your turn," I wouldn't be the guy I am today.
00:06 And I hit a really, really rough patch in my life
00:09 to where I was at rock bottom.
00:11 I actually lived in a halfway house.
00:12 This is my first time sharing that.
00:14 What made you choose a halfway house?
00:16 I didn't trust myself to be alone.
00:17 The hardest part is just getting started.
00:23 To this day, the doctors don't know why I got cancer.
00:27 They don't know why I had two different cancers.
00:29 So now I think I was 31, fighting two cancers at the same time.
00:33 In my mind, I'm dead.
00:35 I was at a Washington Mutual ATM,
00:37 staring at the machines down to my last couple hundred bucks.
00:40 And I'm thinking to myself, "What am I going to do for money?"
00:42 If I put my mind to something and I say, "I'm going to do something,"
00:46 I will do whatever it takes to get it done.
00:48 If I say, "I'm going to lose weight," I'm going to lose weight.
00:51 If I'm going to build muscle, I'm going to build muscle.
00:53 If I'm going to start a business, I'm going to start--
00:54 Whatever it is I do, and it's awful, it's painful.
00:58 There's highs, there's lows.
01:00 It's emotional, it's difficult, it's stressful.
01:02 But as long as you never quit, you never fail,
01:05 and eventually you're going to win.
01:07 - Welcome to the show, Tarek.
01:26 - Thanks for having me.
01:27 - Pleasure to have you here, man.
01:28 - Yeah, it's been a while.
01:29 - It's been a while.
01:30 Quite a lot's happened since I saw you last.
01:32 - Yeah, a lot.
01:33 - A little baby.
01:34 It's probably not so little now, nine, ten months?
01:36 - Almost ten months old.
01:37 Tristan J. El Moussa, yeah.
01:39 - Congratulations.
01:40 - Thank you, thank you.
01:41 That's three kids, by the way.
01:42 - Three kids.
01:43 And you know what?
01:44 You don't look tired.
01:45 - Well, you know, that would be the Botox.
01:47 - Okay.
01:48 All right.
01:49 Well, hey, science works.
01:50 - I'm just kidding.
01:51 You got to sleep.
01:52 Sleep's important.
01:53 - Sleep's important.
01:54 So how is it, obviously, with your two older kids,
01:56 how is it having a little baby in the house?
01:58 - It's awesome.
01:59 You know, like I tell my wife, at 42,
02:01 I'm finally ready to be a dad and deal with a baby.
02:04 You know, I'm just kidding.
02:06 You know what, man?
02:07 It's been an incredible experience.
02:09 I didn't know what to expect going into it,
02:11 you know, having two older kids and starting over at 42.
02:14 But, like, my kids are so excited.
02:16 My relationship with him is different, you know?
02:20 I'm not stressed out.
02:21 I'm not in my 20s.
02:22 I'm not thinking about work.
02:24 So I can be calm.
02:25 I can be present.
02:26 We play.
02:27 So it's a really nice experience.
02:28 - Yeah, that's cool.
02:29 I mean, my kids are much older now, and I'm 40.
02:32 So it's definitely--if I had to do it again--
02:35 and I don't know that I'm, like--
02:36 I don't know that I have it in me to do it again.
02:38 But if I had to do it again, obviously,
02:40 I think it would probably be a little different,
02:42 like you're saying, more mature.
02:44 - It's a different experience.
02:45 - Yeah, you're actually the dad that you--
02:47 because I don't know if you felt this
02:49 when you were your first go-around,
02:51 but I always felt like I was playing dad.
02:53 Like, I always had that imposter syndrome
02:55 of being a dad.
02:56 Like, everyone else was like,
02:57 "You're not really a dad, are you?"
02:59 - Oh, 100%, because I mean, I'm sure you're like me.
03:01 We were so focused on becoming someone,
03:04 on being an entrepreneur, on building businesses,
03:07 or making money, or getting ahead in life.
03:09 And, you know, at the time,
03:11 you're so focused on being an entrepreneur,
03:14 you know, being a dad at the same time
03:16 when you're building, it can be difficult.
03:18 - It's scary.
03:19 - Yeah, yeah.
03:20 But the good thing is this.
03:21 Here's what I learned.
03:22 So when my kids were younger,
03:23 I was working a lot, right?
03:26 But I learned that they don't remember.
03:29 So, you know, like, I got fully, fully, fully involved
03:33 with both of my kids' lives, like, fully,
03:36 around, you know, four years old.
03:38 But the first couple years, you know,
03:40 we were building businesses, filming shows.
03:42 I mean, I was never home.
03:43 I was always working.
03:44 But now I'm best friends with my kids, you know?
03:46 I coach their sports.
03:48 We play chess every day.
03:49 We play video games.
03:50 Like, we're buddies.
03:51 So it all worked out.
03:53 - That's awesome.
03:54 And you're right.
03:55 They really don't remember.
03:56 My youngest was infatuated with elephants
03:58 to the point where my wife would take her to the zoo
04:00 two or three days a week,
04:01 and everything in her room was elephants.
04:03 She's 12 now.
04:04 About a year and a half ago, we're like,
04:06 "Oh, remember you had that elephant?"
04:08 She goes, "I had an elephant?"
04:09 And I'm telling you, for the first five years of her life,
04:12 everything was elephants.
04:13 And she has no memory of it whatsoever.
04:16 And then I was like, "Oh my gosh."
04:17 That first five years is developing them and for me.
04:20 - Yep, 100%.
04:21 - You're right.
04:22 - Yeah.
04:23 - So my question for you to start this off is,
04:26 are you pushing entrepreneurship
04:28 on your soon-to-be high school-aged son, right?
04:31 - Well, my daughter's 13.
04:33 My son is 8.
04:34 And then my youngest son is about to be 10 months old.
04:37 - Okay, your daughter.
04:38 - Yeah, both my older kids.
04:39 My 13-year-old daughter, she's my twin.
04:41 She's going to be an incredible entrepreneur.
04:44 Same with my son.
04:45 He's 8 years old.
04:46 And actually, my son is obsessed with real estate.
04:48 So we go online, we look at houses for sale,
04:50 we look at fixer-uppers.
04:51 He's actually written a couple offers with me on property.
04:54 So he is just so excited about real estate investing.
04:57 - Oh, that's cool.
04:58 - Yeah.
04:59 - That's cool.
05:00 So you do want to see your children
05:01 follow in the footsteps.
05:02 - 100%.
05:03 And I do so many different things.
05:04 I tell my kids, "What do you want to do?
05:06 "Do you want to be an influencer?
05:07 "You can do that.
05:08 "Do you want to be a TV personality?
05:09 "You can do that.
05:10 "You want to be an entrepreneur?
05:11 "You can do that.
05:12 "You want to be a real estate investor?
05:13 "You can do that.
05:14 "You want to be an educator?
05:15 "You can do that."
05:16 You can be an author.
05:17 There's so many different things.
05:18 And that's the beautiful thing about life.
05:19 So many people put themselves in a box
05:21 of what they can and cannot accomplish.
05:23 And I believe they're like that
05:26 based on everything they were taught their entire life.
05:29 And what got me in trouble as a kid
05:31 is what created success for me as an adult.
05:33 Sit still, be quiet, wait your turn, pay attention.
05:36 All the things I never did is what has created my success.
05:39 Now, going back, if I had been someone
05:41 that listened to instructions, be quiet, wait your turn,
05:44 I wouldn't be the guy I am today
05:46 because I wouldn't have been as confident.
05:48 I would have been quieter.
05:49 I wouldn't have raised my hand for things.
05:51 So it's really interesting as people.
05:54 We can do so much more than we believe.
05:58 And that's one of the big reasons
06:00 why I press so hard every single day.
06:02 People ask me all the time why I do what I do.
06:04 It's I want to show the world anything is possible.
06:06 I literally grew up with immigrant family,
06:09 rougher area in Buena Park, California,
06:11 and this mission to show anything is possible.
06:14 - But what gave you that confidence to know that?
06:17 What was that moment in your life where you were like,
06:19 "I don't care that everyone's telling me
06:21 "to sit down and be quiet and wait my turn.
06:23 "There's a path for me."
06:24 And then you were able to break a glass ceiling
06:26 that a lot of people never get to break.
06:28 - Yeah, so I'll tell you a quick story.
06:30 I was five years old.
06:31 My dad's from the Middle East, big soccer player.
06:33 I was on the soccer team.
06:34 And at the end of the season,
06:36 they actually picked my dad to be the coach
06:38 for the All-Star team.
06:39 And as a kid, man, I was so excited.
06:40 I'm going to be on the All-Star team.
06:42 My dad's the coach, right?
06:43 My dad didn't pick me.
06:45 So I'm five years old.
06:47 My dad gets picked to coach the All-Star.
06:49 All the little kids are screaming and yelling,
06:51 and my dad's picking the team.
06:52 He didn't pick me.
06:53 And I'll never forget, we're at dinner that night.
06:54 I'm crying at the table, and I'm like,
06:56 "Dad, how did you not pick me?"
06:58 And he goes, "Well, you're not good enough."
07:00 I was like, "Wow."
07:02 Like he said, "But."
07:04 - I come with the team, Dad.
07:05 - Yeah, but then he goes,
07:06 "But you can be.
07:08 All you got to do is practice."
07:10 So very early on, I learned that nothing's given to me,
07:14 and if I want something, I have to practice.
07:16 So then I learned I need to start practicing things.
07:19 So as a kid, I would practice things.
07:20 Next thing you know, I would get good,
07:21 and then I'd build confidence,
07:22 and then I'd believe in myself,
07:24 and then I would try more difficult things,
07:26 and I would practice those things
07:27 and get good and believe in myself.
07:29 And it's these little wins that add up over time
07:32 that build that confidence.
07:35 - Hey, everyone.
07:36 Jeff here, and as a thank you for listening to my show,
07:39 I'd love to offer you a gift completely free.
07:42 I have a full PDF with tactics and insights
07:45 for how I built amazing relationships
07:47 that have skyrocketed my personal success.
07:50 If this sounds like something you're looking for,
07:52 all you have to do is click the link
07:54 in the show notes below.
07:55 Now, on to the show.
07:57 - Yeah, and that is such a powerful
08:01 yet different life lesson.
08:04 Most parents would not have done that
08:06 to their five-year-old kid,
08:07 but when you look back, in the moment,
08:08 it was probably like, "Oh, my gosh."
08:10 But now, it might have been the best thing
08:12 that your dad ever did for you.
08:13 - Yeah, 100%, and my dad's an optimist, too.
08:15 So my dad was a big mentor in my life.
08:17 Not mentor, like he had a lot of money or anything,
08:19 but his mindset, the way he viewed life,
08:23 he was very positive,
08:25 always thought anything was possible,
08:26 so excited to come to this country
08:28 and live in this free land.
08:30 For him, it was an exciting thing,
08:32 and he was always pushing me to push the envelope
08:35 and just go as far as I can.
08:36 - What did your dad do?
08:37 - He was an engineer.
08:38 So my dad was an engineer,
08:40 my mom was a schoolteacher,
08:41 and then at one point,
08:42 he opened up an engineering company.
08:44 And then, as a kid, my dream was always
08:47 to take over dad's engineering business,
08:49 but we learned early on that I am not an engineer
08:51 because I'd go into the shop,
08:53 and after a couple times,
08:54 I wasn't allowed to touch anything.
08:55 - Well, you said it.
08:56 You don't sit down, you don't wait your turn,
08:58 you don't listen to directions.
09:00 I don't think those are the prerequisites
09:02 for being a successful engineer.
09:03 - Yeah, exactly.
09:04 - I think you need to follow SOPs and stuff.
09:06 - Yeah, exactly.
09:07 - But you were a baseball player.
09:08 - Yeah, I loved baseball, man.
09:09 Loved baseball.
09:10 - Did you have visions of playing baseball
09:12 at the highest level?
09:13 - 100%. 100%.
09:14 My whole life, I started working for baseball
09:17 at eight years old, and I played baseball.
09:20 That was another valuable lesson.
09:21 I played baseball almost every single day.
09:24 My dad would make me take pitching lessons every day,
09:27 batting lessons every day.
09:28 We would take ground balls, and he used to pay me.
09:30 We'd go, "Okay, we're going to go hit ground balls
09:32 "this week five days in a row.
09:33 "On Friday, you get a new video game deal."
09:36 So he would actually pay me.
09:37 - So you were a pro.
09:39 - Yeah, I was a pro.
09:40 I was 10, 11, 12 years old.
09:42 So yeah, I always believed baseball was my thing.
09:45 And then I took one year off at 14,
09:48 and I started playing ice hockey.
09:51 I got into high school,
09:52 and I was so excited to start playing baseball.
09:54 I actually pitched, I think it was one or two innings,
09:58 the first or second varsity game of my freshman year.
10:02 - That's impressive.
10:03 - Yeah, it was a very exciting experience.
10:06 And then what happened was,
10:07 I'll never forget this, life-changing.
10:09 It's actually coming out in my book in February
10:11 called Flip Your Life.
10:13 So I hadn't played baseball, you know,
10:15 and I was 15 years old at this point.
10:17 I took a year off.
10:18 So I go back, and I start getting ready for the season,
10:20 and I hit a batting practice at Home Run Park,
10:23 the batting cages in California.
10:25 And then after, I had a pitching lesson
10:27 with a guy named Clyde Wright.
10:28 And I'll never forget this, and my arm started hurting.
10:31 I was 15, and I decided to throw through the pain.
10:36 And I ended up that night,
10:38 and then I got frustrated with myself because of the pain,
10:40 so then I threw harder,
10:42 and that was the night I ruined my arm.
10:44 To this day, like, I remember,
10:46 I was crying in my dad's car.
10:48 I was 15, crying because of the damage I did to my arm,
10:52 and it was never the same.
10:54 - Yeah. - Yeah.
10:55 - When you went to the doctor with your arm,
10:57 did the doctor say you can never play again?
10:59 - To this day, they still don't know what's wrong,
11:01 but it's nerve damage.
11:03 So I would throw when I was done.
11:05 My arm would literally-- it would just go like this.
11:08 - Really? - Yeah.
11:09 It would just twitch and move, and it was just awful.
11:11 And I ruined my baseball career,
11:13 and then I was miserable the next couple years after that
11:15 because I still believed my arm would get better.
11:17 So every year, I suited up.
11:18 Every year, I was on the bench.
11:19 Every year, I ran laps.
11:21 Every year, I went to therapy.
11:22 Every year, I'd try to pitch, and then finally,
11:24 after years of just misery,
11:26 I started throwing submarine underhand,
11:28 and I learned how to throw underhand,
11:30 and it didn't cause pain in my arm.
11:32 So I pitched--my very last game was--
11:35 I think it was my--I think this was, like,
11:37 the end of my junior year or early freshman year,
11:41 and I threw a submarine, and it was so bad
11:44 that I walked off that field, and I never went back.
11:48 How do you know I played baseball, by the way?
11:50 Yeah, I know some things.
11:52 We do our homework for these shows.
11:54 Oh, yeah, I hit some baseballs, too, at the Arizona stadium.
11:57 And we were together.
11:58 Don't you remember when I was hitting them off the wall?
12:00 Yeah, yeah.
12:01 And they were like, "What?"
12:02 I'm like, "Yeah, I used to play baseball, too.
12:04 I played baseball until I was in my early 30s."
12:06 Wow, how fun.
12:07 Yeah, I had the dream.
12:08 I wasn't good enough, and I didn't injure my arm.
12:10 Just wasn't good enough.
12:11 But that's okay because it's not about the end result.
12:13 I enjoyed the pursuit of it.
12:15 Exactly.
12:16 Right?
12:17 Exactly.
12:18 Which is the lesson,
12:19 which is we struggle because we're always looking at a result.
12:22 And what I loved about you telling that story
12:24 is you continue to say, "I still loved it,
12:26 so I still suited up, and I still ran the laps."
12:28 And I didn't just say, "Oh, my arm's broken, so that's it."
12:31 Yeah, still try. You got to try.
12:32 Still got to try.
12:33 Does your son play baseball?
12:35 No, not yet.
12:36 We just started playing catch in the alley by our house.
12:39 But he's playing flag football, he's playing soccer,
12:43 and he does jujitsu.
12:44 And does your daughter play softball?
12:48 No, so not softball.
12:49 She's a stud, though.
12:50 She plays volleyball and soccer, and she's really good.
12:53 Okay.
12:54 Yeah.
12:55 Okay.
12:56 Yeah.
12:57 Is she tall?
12:58 Yeah, yeah.
12:59 She's about 5'7", and she's 13.
13:00 Okay.
13:01 Yeah.
13:02 So sports.
13:03 So, yeah, both kids are athletes.
13:04 Very competitive.
13:05 Oh, my gosh, competitive.
13:06 Did they get that from you?
13:07 Yes, 100%.
13:08 Yeah, yeah.
13:09 I could tell.
13:10 So you graduate high school, no baseball career,
13:13 didn't go to college.
13:15 Why real estate?
13:17 From engineer and baseball to real estate is a pretty big pivot.
13:21 Yeah, I'll go real deep with you for a second.
13:24 So in life, I kind of always got what I wanted.
13:28 I was a decent-looking kid.
13:30 I was athletic.
13:31 I was witty.
13:32 I was funny.
13:33 I had a lot of friends.
13:34 I was a leader, and I always felt pretty good.
13:37 And all of that ended when I graduated high school.
13:40 So within six months of graduating high school,
13:43 I fell into a terrible depression and became an alcoholic.
13:46 I gained 50 pounds.
13:48 In like a six-, seven-month period, I had stretch marks on my sides.
13:52 I wouldn't take my shirt off anymore.
13:53 I was depressed.
13:55 At 18?
13:56 At 18.
13:58 And I hit a really, really rough patch in my life to where I was at rock bottom,
14:03 thinking I'm the guy that used to be the man.
14:05 Now I'm just fat and sloppy sitting on the couch drunk.
14:09 So my life went real downhill.
14:11 I lost all hope.
14:12 I lost my confidence, and I thought my life was over.
14:15 During that period, what were you doing day to day?
14:17 Did you have a job?
14:18 Drinking.
14:19 No job.
14:20 I would drink a lot.
14:21 Yeah, I mean I was going to college, but classes at random times all over the place.
14:26 And I was actually selling kitchen knives for Cutco.
14:28 I'm sure you've heard of Cutco.
14:29 And it turns out I was pretty good at sales.
14:31 So my average sale was like $400 or $500, and I was getting like 30%, 40% commission.
14:35 So I was making decent money.
14:37 For those listening back then, that was a lot of money.
14:39 Yeah, it was a lot of money.
14:41 But honestly, I would drink so much that I was waking up 2, 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
14:47 And I would go to bed at 2, 3 in the morning.
14:50 And it was just this vicious cycle.
14:52 And I'll never forget, after almost a year of drinking like that, I had a night.
14:57 And I was like, "I've got to take a night off."
14:59 And I was living in Cerritos, California at the time.
15:01 I walked outside, and I could smell the grass.
15:04 I can hear the animals.
15:06 You could feel night.
15:07 And it was my first time seeing night sober in a year.
15:10 And I'll never forget that night.
15:11 And that was the night I said, "Okay, maybe it's time to start making some changes."
15:15 But those changes didn't happen fast.
15:17 I struggled with alcohol on and off for about 10 years.
15:21 But at that point, I got a little bit better.
15:24 And here's what happened.
15:26 So I was selling cut-coat knives, and I lost my sales book.
15:30 I had every lead, every contact, every order.
15:34 And I was like, "Man, I didn't know what to do."
15:36 I was at a Washington Mutual ATM, staring at the machines down to my last couple hundred bucks.
15:41 And I'm thinking to myself, "What am I going to do for money?"
15:43 And then I have what I like to call a defining moment.
15:46 I threw my head up.
15:47 I'm like, "Man, what am I going to do?"
15:49 And I swear, true story.
15:50 I look to the right, and there's this crooked sign.
15:52 And this crooked sign's hanging there.
15:54 It says, "Wise Old Owl Real Estate School."
15:58 So I had a defining moment.
16:00 A defining moment is a moment in your life that changes the trajectory.
16:04 So I thought to myself, I said, "Well, if I can sell knives, I could probably sell houses."
16:08 So then, walked across the parking lot, signed up for my real estate classes.
16:12 - At Wise Old Owl Real Estate.
16:14 - Yep, at Wise Old Owl Real Estate.
16:15 And at the time, the girl I was dating, their family had been in real estate as investors, agents,
16:19 over the last 40 years.
16:20 So they were talking about it around me.
16:23 But that was when it all clicked, and I said, "Okay, I'm going to go sell real estate."
16:26 - So you walked over to Wise Old Owl Real Estate.
16:29 - That was it.
16:30 - And it was a get-your-license class?
16:31 - Yep, get-your-license class.
16:32 And it was a Century 21 office.
16:34 I had to sit and watch these VHS tapes of these ladies in the '80s with these big gold jackets,
16:39 training about real estate.
16:40 It was miserable.
16:41 - How many hours was that?
16:42 40, 50?
16:43 - What was that?
16:44 - How long is the course?
16:45 40 hours, 50 hours?
16:46 - I don't even remember, but it felt like it took years.
16:49 So then, I get my license.
16:51 I'm young, I'm hungry, I'm motivated, I'm excited, I'm ready to take on the world.
16:55 Totally struck out.
16:56 I wasn't making any money, no business.
17:01 And then I find out about this training event in Buena Park, California, where this real estate coach
17:06 was coming into town to teach people how to make money in real estate.
17:09 And at the time, there were these ladies in my office that were talking crap about this guy
17:15 and the fact that he charges people for coaching.
17:17 And I'm listening to him saying, "I can't believe people pay him, coaching, it's a scam."
17:21 And this whole time, I'm thinking, "What do you mean?
17:23 There's coaches out there?
17:24 I can get a coach?
17:25 Like, where do I get this coach?"
17:26 Because I had sports coaches my whole life.
17:29 And I know how important a coach is, but as a 20-year-old kid, as a licensed real estate agent,
17:35 no one told me you can get a coach as an adult.
17:37 So as these ladies are talking smack, I'm listening.
17:40 I end up going to that event.
17:42 And if it wasn't for those ladies and if it wasn't for that event, I wouldn't be sitting here today.
17:47 So I go to this free event.
17:48 It was at a Buena Park Sequoia Athletic Club, and the guy was Mike Ferry.
17:52 A couple hundred people in the room.
17:53 And this guy, Mike, is a genius.
17:55 Like, he convinced me.
17:57 And by the way, I'd never heard a professional speaker.
17:59 He convinced me I could do anything.
18:01 He convinced me I could be unstoppable.
18:03 He convinced me I'd be a top agent.
18:04 He convinced me I'd be a millionaire.
18:06 Like, any possible thing I wanted in life, he convinced me I could do it.
18:09 So at the end of the event, I wrote--I ripped a piece of paper.
18:13 I wrote, "My name is Tarek El Moussa.
18:14 You don't know me today, but one day you will."
18:16 And I handed it to him.
18:18 And by the way, he knows me today.
18:20 And that was a defining moment.
18:22 But here's what happened.
18:23 I signed up for one-on-one coaching.
18:25 - With him?
18:26 - Not with him, but with his company.
18:28 It was $1,000 a month back in 2003,
18:31 which is like a million dollars a month today with inflation, right?
18:34 - Right, at least.
18:35 - So now imagine this.
18:36 It's $1,000 a month.
18:37 I'm 20 years old.
18:38 - Did you have $1,000?
18:39 - No, God, no.
18:40 God, no.
18:41 20 years old, totally broke.
18:43 I had broken up with my girlfriend.
18:45 I tried to move back home.
18:47 My parents got divorced.
18:48 My mom rented out my bedroom,
18:49 so I was sleeping in the garage
18:51 with, like, cockroaches and spiders and my dirt bike.
18:53 Like, a garage.
18:54 You hit the clicker, the thing opened.
18:55 You know, it wasn't converted.
18:57 I burned the boats, man.
18:58 I was like, "I have a credit card."
19:02 So I made a deal with myself.
19:04 I said, "All right, I'm going to sign up.
19:05 I'm going to sign up for this coaching, going all in.
19:08 And if it works, great, you made it.
19:11 If it doesn't work, I have to go back to school."
19:13 And I did not want to go back to school.
19:15 And that entire time I was in real estate,
19:17 I never had a coach, so I never really knew what to do.
19:19 So I would try an open house.
19:20 I would wait for somebody to call.
19:22 I'd go knock on a couple doors.
19:24 Zero results.
19:26 So I got this coach,
19:29 and I went after something called expired listings.
19:31 You know what an expired listing is?
19:33 - Tell me.
19:34 - Okay, let's just say you list your house
19:35 with a real estate agent.
19:37 You do a six-month contract.
19:39 After six months, if the agent doesn't sell your house,
19:41 it's an expired contract.
19:43 - Okay.
19:44 - Which means legally other real estate agents
19:45 can go to you to try to solicit to get your listing.
19:47 - And there's a database with these--
19:49 - Yep, every day, updated with all the new ones
19:52 all around the country, hint, hint.
19:54 So what I did is this.
19:57 I got this script, okay?
19:59 I pinned it on my cubicle,
20:01 and my coach said, "You have to make 20 contacts a day,
20:05 which is 20 conversations a day."
20:07 I told him, "I'm going to do 50."
20:08 He said, "Yeah, right."
20:09 So my only rule was to have 50 conversations a day.
20:12 It wasn't to get listings.
20:13 It wasn't to make money.
20:15 It was to get 50 conversations a day.
20:17 So that's what I did.
20:18 I butchered it.
20:19 "Hi, my name is Tarek El Moussa,"
20:22 like reading the script, like bro, like bad, right?
20:24 But that's how you learn.
20:25 Within 90 days of doing this,
20:27 I went from being a 20-year-old kid
20:29 with no money living in my mom's garage with spires
20:32 to 90 days later, I was an escrow
20:34 to buy almost a million-dollar house,
20:35 and I had ended up making $120,000 in commissions
20:38 in a 90-day period.
20:39 - Because you made 50 conversations a day.
20:41 - Because of 50 conversations a day.
20:44 And then, so here's the problem.
20:47 Most people, they can't stomach it
20:48 because they'll call someone,
20:49 "Hi, my name is so-and-so, real estate.
20:50 "When do you plan on interviewing a new agent?"
20:52 Go F yourself.
20:53 Click, they hang up.
20:54 Most people are like, "Oh, this isn't gonna work.
20:55 "How am I gonna convince this person?"
20:57 You are never gonna convince that person.
20:59 That's the secret.
21:01 All the people yelling at you,
21:02 you're not gonna get them.
21:04 You need to get yelled at enough
21:05 until you find someone that doesn't yell at you.
21:07 And when you find the person that doesn't yell at you,
21:10 that's where you do business.
21:11 - That's where you make your money.
21:12 - And that was the magic.
21:13 So if I was on 49 contacts for the day,
21:16 it's 8.15 at night, and I'm exhausted, right?
21:19 And I call someone, they say,
21:20 "Tarik, go F yourself."
21:21 Am I mad?
21:23 God, no.
21:24 I'm celebrating because I just hit my 50th contact
21:27 and I can go home.
21:29 So that very simple lesson of conversations per day
21:33 is the foundation of my entire life.
21:37 - You know what's funny?
21:38 I have the same story in my own way.
21:40 I had my one job out of law school was ADP.
21:43 I got there and they said, "Selling payroll."
21:45 And they said, "You got to make 50 phone calls a week.
21:48 "We'll get you five appointments."
21:49 You get five appointments, you close two deals.
21:51 And I said, "Okay, I'm going to do 100 phone calls a week.
21:54 "And I'm going to get 10 appointments.
21:55 "I'm going to close four."
21:56 In my first six months,
21:57 I was the number one sales rep in the country.
21:59 I bought a house, made a presence club.
22:01 No one else makes those calls.
22:02 - I don't understand to this day
22:04 what people are waiting for.
22:05 I legitimately made 500 to 600 phone calls a day
22:08 for a decade.
22:09 People have no idea.
22:10 I started this when I was 20 years old.
22:12 I didn't become known until I was 30 years old.
22:15 10 years grinding away 12 to 18 hours a day.
22:19 - And anyone can do what you did.
22:20 - Anybody.
22:21 - Yeah.
22:22 And some people probably would be better earlier
22:24 and some would be worse.
22:25 Because like you said, you might be better than some,
22:28 but someone's going to be a better cold caller
22:31 and conversationalist on the phone.
22:33 And that person could probably do it in 45 calls or contacts.
22:36 And someone else might take 60.
22:38 But if you're sitting there making 18 calls today
22:40 and six tomorrow and none on Wednesday.
22:42 - Never going to happen.
22:43 - Wishing and wondering, "Why can't I?"
22:45 That's the formula right there.
22:47 - That's it.
22:48 And for me, I refuse to quit.
22:50 Like if I put my mind to something
22:55 and I say I'm going to do something,
22:56 I will do whatever it takes to get it done.
22:58 If I say I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to lose weight.
23:00 If I'm going to build muscle, I'm going to build muscle.
23:02 If I'm going to start a business,
23:03 I'm going to start, like whatever it is I do.
23:05 And it's awful.
23:07 It's painful.
23:08 There's highs, there's lows.
23:09 It's emotional.
23:10 It's difficult.
23:11 It's stressful.
23:12 But as long as you never quit, you never fail.
23:15 And eventually, you're going to win.
23:16 - That's right.
23:17 And that's the difference is the quit.
23:19 People look at failure as this moment
23:21 where the result I was after today didn't happen.
23:24 But that's not failure.
23:25 That's the process.
23:26 It's like climbing a mountain.
23:27 And sometimes you have to--
23:28 It's not straight up.
23:29 Sometimes there's switchbacks.
23:30 You got to walk down a couple.
23:31 And you're like, "Why am I walking downhill to go uphill?"
23:33 Because the mountain trails, that's the path.
23:35 - Yeah.
23:36 - It's when you actually quit is failure.
23:38 - That's it, when you quit.
23:39 And then the truth is the hardest part
23:43 is just getting started.
23:45 If people would just understand, if you just start,
23:49 it happens because you build routines.
23:52 It becomes familiar.
23:53 And over time, you learn.
23:55 If you look at people, 90% of people
23:58 that want to do something, they never actually start.
24:00 And that's the most difficult spot.
24:04 I have students in my homeschool community
24:06 where I teach people how to flip houses.
24:08 They're getting on calls.
24:09 They're reading books.
24:10 They're watching webinars.
24:11 But they're never actually starting.
24:13 At some point, you got to knock on a door.
24:16 At some point, you got to make a phone call.
24:18 At some point, you got to eat better food.
24:20 At some point, you got to wake up earlier.
24:22 At some point, you got to go for a walk.
24:24 At some point, you got to go to the gym.
24:26 You got to do.
24:27 We were talking about it earlier.
24:28 I'm a doer.
24:29 I don't talk about things.
24:30 I don't think about things.
24:31 I do things.
24:32 - It's amazing the results that happen when you do things.
24:35 - That's it.
24:36 - 100% of the stuff gets done if you actually do the stuff.
24:38 - You just got to do it.
24:39 - And 0% gets done if you think about doing the stuff.
24:41 - Exactly.
24:42 - And I love that that process taught you that early
24:45 because sales, whether you like sales or not,
24:47 everyone's in sales.
24:48 - Yep.
24:49 - Even if you're an accountant, you're in sales.
24:51 If you're a doctor, you're in sales
24:53 because you're either selling your idea to your company.
24:55 You're selling why you should get the promotion or the raise.
24:58 You're selling people to come work for you.
25:00 So you need to hone that sales skill.
25:02 And I think everybody should take a part of their journey
25:04 and work on that element.
25:06 Cold calling is the greatest.
25:07 - Yeah, yeah.
25:08 It is the greatest, but I also think people are very,
25:11 very confused on what sales is.
25:14 I'll give you an example.
25:15 So I had a live event a couple weeks ago,
25:17 and I had one of my students in the room.
25:19 She's very shy.
25:20 She's kind of quiet, and she grabbed the microphone.
25:24 She's shivering up there.
25:25 She goes, "You know, but I'm not a salesperson like you.
25:28 I don't have that personality.
25:30 I can't do what you do."
25:31 And I stopped her.
25:32 You know what I told her?
25:33 I said, "42-year-old Tariq would take you in his living room
25:38 to talk about real estate over 20-year-old Tariq
25:41 seven days a week."
25:43 You want to know why?
25:44 Because sales is about mimicking your prospect.
25:47 So if you have someone that's quieter and shyer,
25:50 do they want this killer salesperson in there?
25:52 No, they want to be mirrored.
25:54 So what most people don't understand,
25:56 a salesperson isn't like--you don't have to be this
25:58 like A-type personality.
26:00 A salesperson is just mimicking your process--your prospect,
26:04 right, being--mimic them.
26:06 And sales is nothing more than asking a series of questions
26:09 to help people get what they want.
26:12 Like I talk about real estate, like, "Oh, how do you close
26:14 these deals?"
26:15 "If you sold this home, where would you go next?"
26:18 "Oh, that's exciting.
26:19 Why would you move there?"
26:21 "Oh, really?
26:22 Well, what's your time frame on getting there?"
26:23 "Oh, really?
26:24 So when do you plan to start working on things
26:25 so you can get there?"
26:26 It's just questions.
26:27 That's all sales is.
26:28 -Solution based on-- -That's all sales is.
26:29 Like cars.
26:30 "What kind of a car are you looking for?"
26:32 "If you could have the perfect color car,
26:33 what would it be?"
26:34 Like, you know what I mean?
26:35 It's just asking questions.
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27:30 You know, it's funny.
27:37 So, I have a--because I've been in sales my whole life,
27:40 I have this tendency when me and my wife will travel,
27:43 and she makes fun of me because I will speak
27:46 at the same cadence as wherever we go.
27:48 So, if we're in an island in the Caribbean
27:50 and my waiter or waitress has got their cadence,
27:52 it's a different--and she's like,
27:54 "You always kind of mirror them, and it's just innate
27:56 because from sales, that's right.
27:58 That's how you create that familiarity."
28:00 And then you begin the solution-based process
28:02 of asking questions, identifying a need,
28:04 and seeing if you have a solution to solve a need.
28:06 And if you don't, that's okay
28:08 because that's how you also build trust.
28:10 I can't help you do that,
28:12 but what I can do is introduce you to someone who can.
28:15 And then you start to build relationships.
28:17 And then what most people do that are in sales,
28:19 they're scared to ask questions.
28:21 And then without questions, you can't get answers.
28:23 And without answers, you don't know if they're serious.
28:25 And then you're just spinning your wheels,
28:27 wasting your time.
28:28 - But that's also how learning is done.
28:30 Even if you're not a sales person,
28:32 you're not selling a product or service,
28:34 it's also just how you become inquisitive and learn.
28:36 If I had the opportunity to meet you at a live event
28:38 and I was interested in real estate,
28:40 but I wasn't yet in real estate,
28:42 I don't want to ask you all these questions.
28:44 I don't want to learn this story
28:46 because learning this story makes me go,
28:48 "He wasn't born this way?
28:50 He wasn't selling real estate at 14?"
28:52 - That's what people don't get.
28:54 We all start at zero.
28:56 People are like...
28:58 I wish they understood the journey I've been on.
29:02 Damn, grinded it out for 10 years,
29:05 filmed on...
29:07 I pitched a TV show about flipping houses
29:09 before I ever flipped a house.
29:11 Cart before the horse.
29:13 And then I filmed through two cancers, gaining 60 pounds.
29:15 And then I had a back incident,
29:17 I had surgery, I lost 60 pounds.
29:19 And then a public divorce.
29:21 My life has been filled with so much pain
29:23 that I use that as fuel.
29:26 Because now I've rebuilt my life,
29:28 and I'm happy, I'm positive, I'm centered.
29:31 And I wouldn't change that
29:33 because I'm so grateful to wake up every day.
29:36 I'm so grateful for my wife.
29:38 I'm grateful for my kids.
29:40 I'm grateful for my family, my life,
29:42 everything I have.
29:44 Where prior to this crazy experience
29:46 I've been through in the last decade,
29:48 I wasn't as grateful as I am today.
29:50 - Have you seen that...
29:52 I don't know if it's a meme or video,
29:54 but it's two marbles, and one is going straight down,
29:56 and one goes up and down?
29:58 So they drop two marbles, and this is just physics.
30:00 The marble that has to go up and down,
30:02 up and down, beats the one that just goes straight down.
30:04 - No way. - Yeah.
30:06 And the moral of that...
30:08 Well, there's a science reason, I don't know.
30:10 But the moral that I took from that was
30:12 without ups and downs, you actually get further faster.
30:14 That decade...
30:16 And I want to touch on a few of those
30:18 because that was kind of where I was going to go next,
30:20 of ups and downs,
30:22 led you to have that expedited path
30:24 to where you are today, where everyone does get to see you.
30:26 Two, soon to be three TV shows,
30:28 a new book coming out,
30:30 obviously a new family with a new baby.
30:32 But I want to talk about the cancers.
30:34 - Yeah.
30:36 - Because those are moments in time
30:38 that can obviously derail everybody.
30:40 I mean, our health is our greatest wealth.
30:42 - Yeah.
30:44 - And you had not one, but two instances.
30:46 - Yeah. - Is that right?
30:48 - Yeah. So...
30:50 Here's the interesting thing.
30:52 To this day, the doctors don't know
30:54 why I got cancer.
30:56 They don't know why I had two different cancers.
30:58 So I have some thoughts on it.
31:00 So I believe that my cancer
31:02 came from the abuse
31:04 I put on my mind and body.
31:06 Those 10 years when I was making those calls
31:10 and doing all these things,
31:12 I wasn't positive. I wasn't excited.
31:14 I was overwhelmed.
31:16 I was stressed out of my mind.
31:18 I was always chasing money.
31:20 And then drinking at night,
31:22 smoking two packs of cigarettes.
31:24 So I think my body just said,
31:26 "Screw you," and broke down.
31:28 And I think it was a sign that
31:30 if I don't change, I'm going to die.
31:32 Because obviously I could have died.
31:34 I had two different cancers.
31:36 So I found out I had cancer in 2013.
31:38 There was a nurse out of Texas
31:40 who was watching my show
31:42 who noticed a lump on my neck.
31:44 Sent an email to the production company.
31:46 Said, "Hey, this is serious.
31:48 You should get it checked out."
31:50 Just by watching you on TV.
31:52 Just by watching me on TV.
31:54 And then for two years before that,
31:56 I was always clearing my throat.
31:58 And I felt pressure in my neck.
32:00 So I went to my general doctor a couple times.
32:02 And they gave me allergy medicine
32:04 and nose spray, no further testing, nothing.
32:06 I did a biopsy.
32:08 - You actually saw the email?
32:10 Because you were probably getting hundreds,
32:12 if not thousands of random emails.
32:14 - Well, it didn't come to me.
32:16 It went to the production company and the network.
32:18 - And they took it seriously.
32:20 - And then they sent it to me.
32:22 And right when I saw that email,
32:24 I knew something was off.
32:26 So I went to a different doctor.
32:28 I had a biopsy done.
32:30 Came back as atypical,
32:32 meaning it might or might not be cancer.
32:34 And I had a few hours.
32:36 When I woke up, I had my ex-wife, Christina,
32:38 looking down at me, just crying.
32:40 The first thing I said was, "I have cancer, don't I?"
32:42 And the answer was, "Yes."
32:44 Turns out I had stage 3 thyroid cancer.
32:46 I'd taken over my entire thyroid
32:48 and had it spread to my lymph nodes.
32:50 So I had a real stage 3 cancer.
32:52 So going into it, didn't even know I had cancer.
32:54 I woke up, everything's removed,
32:56 everything's gone, stage 3.
32:58 So because of that misdiagnosis,
33:00 we went through old medical records.
33:02 I had an irregular testicle exam a year before.
33:04 - Irregular? - Testicle exam.
33:06 And just as a precaution,
33:08 on my own, I was like,
33:10 "Okay, I should probably go look into this."
33:12 So the wild part is,
33:14 I'm at my thyroid cancer doctor,
33:16 Kaiser and Irvine.
33:18 And while I'm there, last minute,
33:20 they're like, "Hey, we got an opening for an ultrasound
33:22 for my junk," because I had to go get it checked.
33:24 So I'm talking to the--
33:26 So then I walk down the hall.
33:28 I'm talking to the x-ray technician.
33:30 He was a guy from Huntington Beach.
33:32 You know, it's an interesting situation.
33:34 So he's just chatty, talking.
33:36 And this guy was chatty.
33:38 And then all of a sudden, he got quiet.
33:40 And I'm pretty bad ADHD.
33:42 And one of my gifts is reading people.
33:44 It really is. And it's one of my superpowers.
33:46 And I could feel his energy shifting.
33:48 And I asked him, I said, "Hey, what's going on?"
33:50 He goes, "Oh, nothing."
33:52 I was like, "No, no, not nothing. What's going on?"
33:54 He's like, "You're being all quiet. What's up?"
33:56 He's like, "I'm not a doctor."
33:58 And then he goes, "Are you in pain?"
34:00 And then I'm like thinking,
34:02 "What do you mean? Am I in pain?"
34:04 I was like, "What do you mean?"
34:06 And then he goes, "If you're in pain,
34:08 the emergency room's down the hall."
34:10 When he said that, I knew I was in trouble.
34:12 So I go down the hall, go to the emergency room.
34:14 Fifteen minutes later, I have a surgeon coming in
34:16 telling me I have testicular cancer
34:18 and they need to schedule a surgery.
34:20 - And that's different.
34:22 It's not the same cancer that's spread from the thyroid.
34:24 - Exactly. Two completely different cancers.
34:26 So now I think I was 31,
34:28 fighting two cancers at the same time.
34:30 In my mind, I'm dead.
34:32 I know nothing about cancer.
34:34 I don't know how severe cancer is.
34:36 I don't know how to fix cancer.
34:38 All I know is I have two of them, and I'm dead.
34:40 And man, that was a terrifying experience.
34:42 - I can't imagine.
34:44 - So, you know, terrifying experience.
34:46 I got a call from the network.
34:48 It was right at the beginning of season two.
34:50 They're like, "Hey, we understand.
34:52 Don't worry about the show."
34:54 They're like, "You guys are going to film me
34:56 every second of the way.
34:58 You guys are going to film me on a stretcher
35:00 rolling into that surgery."
35:02 And I did it.
35:04 So if you watch season two of my show,
35:06 because of all the stuff I went through,
35:08 I actually gained 60 pounds on national TV.
35:10 - You gained weight?
35:12 - 60 pounds, yeah.
35:14 - I thought most-- and this goes to some of my ignorance--
35:16 I thought cancer, most people lose weight.
35:18 - Yeah, different things.
35:20 So for me, they removed my entire thyroid
35:22 and then I had to go do radioactive iodine.
35:24 So before you do that,
35:26 you can't take any T3 or T4 medications.
35:28 So my diet was white rice, chicken,
35:30 and avocado, and every day I'd wake up heavier.
35:32 It was the wildest experience.
35:34 I just blew up.
35:36 But I never quit.
35:38 You know, I filmed through those two cancers,
35:40 and I think it was five days
35:42 after my surgeries,
35:44 I was back on camera.
35:46 And it was pretty rough on me.
35:48 The worst part about all of this
35:50 was having all of my hormones off.
35:52 What people don't realize is
35:54 your hormones regulate everything--
35:56 your mind, your body, your spirit, right?
35:58 So all my levels were off.
36:00 I was dealing with anxiety, panic attacks,
36:02 depression.
36:04 I had highs, I had lows, I was manic.
36:06 I was happy, I was sad.
36:08 Like, all these emotions and feeling.
36:10 And I was living in turmoil for years.
36:12 And ultimately, that turmoil
36:14 led to my divorce.
36:16 - Yeah.
36:18 - And, you know, looking back,
36:20 you know,
36:22 I wasn't the best guy.
36:24 I wasn't the best husband.
36:26 Definitely not. Wasn't the best father.
36:28 Wasn't the best son. Wasn't the best friend.
36:30 I just wasn't the best human.
36:32 No excuses. I was going through a lot at the time.
36:34 But my actions were not the best.
36:36 - Right.
36:38 - So when my ex left me,
36:40 man, I went to some
36:42 soul-searching places.
36:44 You know, there's a lot of stuff
36:46 coming out in the book.
36:48 I actually lived in a halfway house.
36:50 This is my first time sharing that.
36:52 - Wow. - Yeah, I've never shared that before.
36:54 - What made you choose a halfway house?
36:56 - I didn't trust myself
36:58 to be alone.
37:00 That's how bad I was.
37:02 So the reason I ended up there is because
37:04 I didn't know where to go and I needed 24-hour care.
37:06 It was pretty bad.
37:08 Because, you know,
37:10 I had lost everything, felt like, overnight.
37:12 And
37:14 there were so many different things going on.
37:16 The worst part about it, which was like
37:18 nail in the coffin, was about a year
37:20 before the separation,
37:22 I was tired all the time.
37:24 Like a dark cloud over me.
37:26 Because no energy, because your
37:28 T3 and T4 hormones.
37:30 So I ended up going
37:32 to
37:34 a Botox doctor who
37:36 put me on testosterone injections,
37:38 fat burner injections,
37:40 HCG injections,
37:42 and some other injections.
37:44 - What's HCG?
37:46 - HCG is...
37:48 Man, HCG,
37:50 it produces, I believe it
37:52 produces estrogen.
37:54 Yeah, so it's a...
37:56 I believe it's more geared towards
37:58 women, but I was taking so much testosterone.
38:00 Anyways, this shit
38:02 made me crazy. I had full-on
38:04 roid rage. It took me to the highest
38:06 highs I've ever been to in my life.
38:08 The lowest lows I ever went to in my life.
38:10 I was impatient, short-tempered.
38:12 It ruined me.
38:14 So you take the testosterone
38:16 with the thyroid medications and
38:18 the hormones, and my life was
38:20 a disaster.
38:22 Looking back, when you're
38:24 going through that hell, you don't
38:26 even realize you're going through it.
38:28 I know there's so many people out there right now just going
38:30 through some of the worst shit in their entire life.
38:32 If they just start working
38:34 on themselves and working on the future and working
38:36 on getting better, they can build
38:38 their life again. They can get their life back.
38:40 So for me, I lost my weight, and I
38:42 worked so hard to get it back.
38:44 Do you remember the moment?
38:46 Because when you're spiraling down,
38:48 and you're in that storm, and it
38:50 feels like everything's going astray, and dealing
38:52 with cancers and divorce and
38:54 your weight gain and the hormones
38:56 and probably the network probably
38:58 wasn't happy with your performance at that time.
39:00 Yeah, and people on social media
39:02 calling me fat, blah, blah, blah. You name it.
39:04 What was that moment where you
39:06 were able to look up and say, "Okay,
39:08 I have a path to get up. I have a path
39:10 to get out of this hellhole." Was there a moment,
39:12 or was it just kind of--? There was.
39:14 There was.
39:16 It's crazy how life hits you.
39:18 So we separated
39:20 in May of 2016.
39:22 I think it was about
39:24 10 months later.
39:26 It took me years to get over my divorce.
39:28 It was about 10 months later,
39:30 and I'm talking rock bottom.
39:32 Dude, I did not want
39:34 to be alive. I felt that bad.
39:36 I was driving up
39:38 and down Newport Boulevard in Newport
39:40 Beach where I live, and I
39:42 went and turned onto my street, up and down, for like
39:44 an hour, just crying, screaming,
39:46 yelling, complaining, bitching, pissing,
39:48 moaning, and I'll never forget.
39:50 I'm finally at the light to turn to my street, and
39:52 I'm yelling about the fact that this isn't
39:54 fair. This isn't
39:56 fair. I need a chance.
39:58 I need an opportunity. How did this happen to me?
40:00 And then the word "fair"
40:02 hit me, and then I had a moment with myself,
40:04 and I decided
40:06 to accept
40:08 the fact that life wasn't fair.
40:10 And the second I said it out
40:12 loud, "This isn't fair. That's not fair,"
40:14 and then I said, "Well, life's not fair."
40:16 The second I said, "Life's not fair,"
40:18 that was the beginning of me
40:20 rebuilding my life. So when life's
40:22 not fair, what does that mean?
40:24 That means it is what it is, and
40:26 you do the best with what you got.
40:28 And some people start at zero.
40:30 Some people start at two. Some people start
40:32 at 20. So if you're at zero,
40:34 don't bitch about the people starting
40:36 at 20. Accept that you're at zero
40:38 and figure out how to get to 20.
40:40 So that was a defining
40:42 moment for me, the word "fair."
40:44 - I mean, I'm
40:46 glad you came to that realization at that moment.
40:48 - Yeah, in that moment, man, just sitting there.
40:50 - Yeah, because life isn't fair.
40:52 That's what I tell my children all the time. Any of my kids
40:54 ever say, "That's not fair." I go, "Life's not fair."
40:56 - All the time. - You gotta stop waiting for fair.
40:58 You wait forever.
41:00 We can't decide where we're born, who our parents are,
41:02 what resources we do or don't have, what we look
41:04 like, what opportunities come knocking.
41:06 You just have to be ready. - And that's the problem.
41:08 Everybody is waiting,
41:10 "Oh, I'm gonna meet this person.
41:12 I'm gonna get a--one day,
41:14 someone's gonna give me an opportunity."
41:16 Nobody is ever
41:18 going to give you anything.
41:20 If you show up
41:22 and you show you want it,
41:24 then there's a chance
41:26 they're gonna help you get it, but they will never
41:28 give you anything. Most people think,
41:30 "Oh, I just need an opportunity."
41:32 No, no. You will never get an opportunity.
41:34 You have to make opportunities.
41:36 - And you have to be prepared when that
41:38 opportunity comes. - Yeah.
41:40 - 'Cause so often people don't think they have opportunities,
41:42 but the problem is they weren't prepared to recognize it
41:44 when it was right there. - Yeah.
41:46 You know what's crazy? You know what's interesting? I've been thinking about this
41:48 a lot lately. So, like, my life's been interesting.
41:50 You know, like, my parents were immigrants. I grew up in a city
41:52 called Buena Park by Knott's Berry Farm.
41:54 You know, it was kind of a rougher
41:56 area. I hung out with some pretty rough
41:58 people in my younger days, like,
42:00 real rough people.
42:02 And here's what I've learned. So, I've
42:04 hung out with, like, the worst criminals
42:06 you could imagine to today
42:08 hanging out with some of the most successful
42:10 entrepreneurs in the world.
42:12 And here's what I've learned. Those people
42:14 down here, some of them,
42:16 they have more game, more skills,
42:18 more energy, more tenacity
42:20 than the people over here.
42:22 The only difference is
42:24 they don't believe they can do what these
42:26 people do. - Yeah.
42:28 - So, it's just that mindset.
42:30 It's just the mindset
42:32 of trying. And then
42:34 a lot of people, they don't think they can do it. And then
42:36 they'll kind of try. And then they'll fail
42:38 immediately. And then they'll quit.
42:40 Well, one, you didn't try.
42:42 Right? Like, people don't understand
42:44 however hard someone thinks it's going to
42:46 be, it's going to be ten times harder.
42:48 And that's the truth. I guarantee
42:50 for you to get to where you are today,
42:52 how much harder was it than you thought?
42:54 - Much. - To get
42:56 to here was exponentially
42:58 more difficult than I ever thought.
43:00 But now that I'm here,
43:02 I wouldn't change a thing. And it was worth it.
43:04 - Because, even though it's much harder than we would have ever
43:06 imagined, we weren't prepared
43:08 for the level of hardness
43:10 back when we started. But you don't have to be.
43:12 Because you're not there yet. - Yeah.
43:14 - The top of the mountain is the hardest part to get right before
43:16 the peak. But you're not there. You're at the bottom
43:18 of the mountain. - Yeah. - Where the path is laid out
43:20 and it's much simpler. You just have to
43:22 start. - Yeah. Yeah. - And that's
43:24 that journey. - Yeah. And it's
43:26 the starting. Like I say it all the time.
43:28 I'll never forget the first time I rode my bike, no
43:30 handlebars. I think I was four years old
43:32 living, or
43:34 no, what are those things called on the wheels?
43:36 - Training wheels. - Training wheels. I was four years old.
43:38 - With handlebars, that would have been interesting. - Yeah, that would have been interesting.
43:40 I'm driving down the show, I'll never forget.
43:42 I drive in, I go down, I crash.
43:44 I'm scraped up, bleeding everywhere, and I'm
43:46 screaming. I'm so happy.
43:48 Today I'm on my bike, I'm on my phone,
43:50 I'm listening to music, no hands.
43:52 Well, why is that?
43:54 Practice. Everybody
43:56 thinks they're going to get good at things without
43:58 practice. You can't get good without practice.
44:00 - You know what I find fascinating about that
44:02 is we forget
44:04 that every child,
44:06 little babies, can teach us everything
44:08 we need to know on how to succeed. Because little babies
44:10 learn to walk and they fall a thousand times.
44:12 They hit their head,
44:14 they fall down after two steps, and we think it's cute.
44:16 If babies had the
44:18 same lack of... or if babies
44:20 followed what adults do with that lack of tenacity
44:22 and stick-to-itiveness and willing to try,
44:24 none of us would ever walk.
44:26 Ever. Because as adults,
44:28 we try something and the first or second time we fall,
44:30 we quit because it's not for us.
44:32 I'm not good enough. But
44:34 you are. Very few of us
44:36 can just do something once and be great.
44:38 - Imagine a baby falls down a couple times.
44:40 "Well, this is too hard. I'm just never going to walk."
44:42 - But that's what it is.
44:44 Here's what I tell people all the time.
44:46 I always go back to high school.
44:48 So when I'm a sales rep
44:50 that's not performing or not doing well,
44:52 I go back to high school.
44:54 If you treated your
44:56 business or you treated being an entrepreneur
44:58 like high school, you would be successful.
45:00 Here's why. In high school, because I
45:02 used to do this crap, I would sometimes
45:04 stay up until 1, 2 in the morning, crash
45:06 studying for an exam the next day.
45:08 Right? I think
45:10 about how much work we put in high school.
45:12 If we all kept that same
45:14 energy and same tenacity into our
45:16 adult lives, everybody would be so
45:18 much further. But what happens is
45:20 most people get confused. They work so hard
45:22 in high school, right? And then they go to college.
45:24 And then they work so hard in
45:26 college to get that degree.
45:28 And finally they have the degree.
45:30 Now it's time to do the work.
45:32 Most people are tricked into believing the work
45:34 is done before. And the work's
45:36 done when you get the degree. No, no. That's bullshit.
45:38 This is the ticket to start.
45:40 This is the ticket to start working.
45:42 So if people would treat their careers,
45:44 their lives, their businesses, the way they
45:46 treated college, their SATs,
45:48 high school, they would be so much further.
45:50 So true. It's so true.
45:52 Yeah.
45:54 You have a fascinating journey. I'm excited for your book.
45:56 Yeah. It's a
45:58 fun one. So a lot of wild
46:00 stories in there. Comes out in February.
46:02 Yeah. Comes out February 6th.
46:04 You know,
46:06 I mentioned that I went through a hard period
46:08 from 18 to 20.
46:10 One of the reasons that really caused that
46:12 period was I got off of ADHD
46:14 medication called Dexedrine, because at 18
46:16 they wanted me to go to the doctors.
46:18 Then I ended up getting
46:20 on ADD medicines at 16
46:22 after I went to juvenile hall.
46:24 So all of that is in
46:26 the book. And it's
46:28 a pretty interesting story.
46:30 I'm excited to read it. You're going to have to send me a
46:32 I want a signed copy.
46:34 Of course. But you know, through all this hell
46:36 and misery and turmoil and all this nonsense
46:38 I've been through all these years,
46:40 today I'm happier than I've ever been.
46:42 I'm more excited about life than I've ever been.
46:44 I'm more grateful than I've ever
46:46 been. And I'm finally at a point in my
46:48 life, I'm 42, I am so
46:50 excited to share
46:52 everything I've learned with the world. I am so
46:54 passionate about teaching and educating
46:56 and helping other people
46:58 get ahead and just live that
47:00 life they've always dreamed of. And I like the
47:02 clean shave. Yeah, it's been a couple of years.
47:04 I don't think I've ever, the last time I saw you
47:06 you definitely didn't have a clean shave.
47:08 It's been three years since I shaved.
47:10 So yeah, this one's for you today.
47:12 I appreciate it. It's looking good.
47:14 I was looking in the mirror yesterday and I saw a lot of gray.
47:16 I said, "Okay, maybe we cut this thing."
47:18 No salt and pepper? Yeah, yeah, a little bit.
47:20 So the TV shows, before we
47:22 round this out, because you have
47:24 a new show coming out.
47:26 Two new shows. One new show.
47:28 Oh no, the new show
47:30 is out already.
47:32 So season one of The Flipping El Mousses.
47:34 Yeah, but it's a new show. The Flipping El Mousses
47:36 is a new... Yeah, yeah, that's a new
47:38 series. So Flipping El Mousses season one
47:40 premiered in 2023. Right now
47:42 we're filming 14 episodes
47:44 premiering in spring, early summer of
47:46 2024 and it's a really fun show.
47:48 That's fun. So what's the...
47:50 For those who haven't seen season one, go check it out.
47:52 But what is the main premise?
47:54 It's my wife Heather
47:56 and I flipping houses in Southern California
47:58 and... As a family.
48:00 As a family. So the kids are involved,
48:02 the parents are involved, but what we're doing is
48:04 different and it's actually working
48:06 which is really, really neat.
48:08 So what we're trying to do is to
48:10 create luxury, high-end
48:12 looking homes for
48:14 the everyday house. So give a $10 million
48:16 home look for a million dollar house
48:18 and we're actually
48:20 pulling it off by really spending time
48:22 on sourcing materials and
48:24 using the right designers
48:26 and finding materials at a low cost
48:28 that look super high-end
48:30 instead of getting marble slabs, get porcelain
48:32 slabs that look like marble. So like all these little
48:34 tricks we're learning and these houses
48:36 they're coming out beautiful.
48:38 I remember when you texted me for the
48:40 premiere and I watched it,
48:42 that first one came out fantastic and I remember
48:44 saying, "Wow,
48:46 that does look better
48:48 than the neighborhood by a lot."
48:50 These houses, hands down
48:52 10 times better than last year.
48:54 I wanted people to learn through our show.
48:56 I wanted people to get inspired
48:58 through our show.
49:00 I wanted people to want our homes
49:02 through our show. I wanted people to want
49:04 their homes to look like our homes, right?
49:06 And I think we pulled it off
49:08 because I'm impressed by the houses.
49:10 I look at them and I'm like,
49:12 "Damn, that looks so good for a
49:14 1,300 square foot house.
49:16 Nobody's going to find a house like this."
49:18 That's awesome.
49:20 And what was the inspiration for that show?
49:22 It was my passion
49:24 for real estate investing and I'm always
49:26 trying to push the envelope, take things to the next level
49:28 and I really wanted to create
49:30 better houses.
49:32 We're really doing it.
49:34 Between you and your wife, you guys are a real estate
49:36 power couple. Obviously, both of you have had
49:38 your own successes and your own shows and to put you
49:40 together, watch out world
49:42 because you're going to change the real estate game
49:44 in Southern California.
49:46 We're having a lot of fun there and then we're working
49:48 on a surprise project right now.
49:50 It should come out in 2024.
49:52 Can't share too much about that yet.
49:54 And then also we're exploring doing a podcast
49:56 together.
49:58 Different things together. We enjoy being together.
50:00 And a new baby together.
50:02 Yeah, and a new baby.
50:04 It's been great though. I know we've been talking about business a lot
50:06 but man,
50:08 my wife saved my life.
50:10 I was so sad
50:12 until that day I met her
50:14 four and a half years ago and it was
50:16 kind of like a big turning point for me.
50:18 And the last four and a half years
50:20 of my life have just been incredible.
50:22 Well, it's
50:24 truly amazing to see
50:26 where you are now and how far
50:28 you've come because not, and I don't
50:30 mean that from the bottom to your successes.
50:32 I mean from the roller coaster of your life
50:34 because you've had a few setbacks that
50:36 are the foundation
50:38 which a lot of us stay
50:40 and uses the excuse to why
50:42 I'm not here because I had to deal
50:44 with cancer or I lost my
50:46 family and had a divorce or I gained
50:48 all this weight or my hormones were a wreck
50:50 or all of these
50:52 or the media hates me or I've gone broke.
50:54 And unfortunately, we all have to
50:56 deal with our own ups and downs.
50:58 And you're publicly
51:00 being the example for all of us
51:02 to say, "You know what?
51:04 Look at your own life, but I'm sharing
51:06 mine." The vulnerability that you show,
51:08 I mean the fact that you allowed the cameras
51:10 to follow you through cancer.
51:12 You had a public divorce.
51:14 There's very few things about your life that's probably
51:16 not public at this point.
51:18 - Yeah, and after the book, it's all out.
51:20 Like today, I shared some things that I've never
51:22 shared in my entire life.
51:24 So this is the first time anyone's hearing it.
51:26 - Well, I appreciate you being vulnerable with us
51:28 and being willing and having the courage
51:30 to be willing to expose
51:32 the real experience of Tariq
51:34 because a lot of us are embarrassed
51:36 or uncomfortable and saying,
51:38 "Well, I'm going to keep that private."
51:40 And so my last question for you is
51:42 how do you feel about your life being
51:44 100% public?
51:46 Is there times you almost want to keep
51:48 some things private?
51:50 - Not really, man.
51:52 Here's the biggest
51:54 lesson I've learned about life
51:56 with people, and I say this
51:58 often.
52:00 As humans, as people, we're literally
52:02 no different than a house, meaning
52:04 it doesn't matter how old
52:06 the house is or beat up the house
52:08 is or how cockroach infested
52:10 or mold infested, right?
52:12 Because people,
52:14 just like a house, they can go through a remodel.
52:16 And that's what flipping your
52:18 life is all about. It's literally
52:20 remodeling who you are, what
52:22 you are, and what you want to be.
52:24 And you start from the inside out.
52:26 And that's exactly what I did.
52:28 So for me, if I can inspire
52:30 people to make massive
52:32 change in their life and take action
52:34 to improve their lives, then it was worth it.
52:36 Because looking at me from a
52:38 shithead kid 20-something years ago,
52:40 juvenile hall, always in trouble,
52:42 to today, helping and inspiring and leading,
52:44 that shows that anything really is
52:46 possible. And if I'm able to touch people
52:48 and help people and get them to
52:50 change their mindset and put more
52:52 positive energy into the world,
52:54 it just makes it a better place.
52:56 - Well, you're an inspiration to me.
52:58 I've always enjoyed our conversations,
53:00 and I get to watch you publicly.
53:02 But I love real estate. I love
53:04 what you guys are doing. It's been
53:06 an honor to have you here and sharing this story.
53:08 And I'm excited for your book. I think it's
53:10 a must-read for everybody, regardless if
53:12 you're in real estate or not. Because the truth
53:14 is, like you just said, we all
53:16 can remodel our lives and who we are,
53:18 and we should. Because even if
53:20 things are good and nothing breaks,
53:22 time weathers and the game
53:24 continues to evolve and change, and we need to continue
53:26 to update ourselves to the present
53:28 to be the best version of ourselves. And
53:30 you've been a living example publicly on
53:32 how to be the absolute best version of yourself.
53:34 And I think today, right now, you are
53:36 living your best life at the moment,
53:38 and it's an honor and privilege to see.
53:40 So I want to thank you for coming on and sharing all this
53:42 with our audience, man. This was super fun.
53:44 - I had a great time. And it's crazy to think,
53:46 you know, I woke up at 4.30 a.m.
53:48 to be here today on a podcast where
53:50 many years of my life, I would still be
53:52 drinking at 4.30 a.m.
53:54 - Crazy. - Crazy.
53:56 - Remodel your life. This February,
53:58 get your copy of Flip Your Life,
54:00 and make sure you check out the
54:02 new show with Tarek, the surprise show
54:04 in season two of the new show.
54:06 - That's it. - Thank you guys for checking us out.
54:09 - Hey, everyone. First,
54:11 I want to thank all of you for tuning in.
54:13 And if you guys haven't heard about my new book,
54:15 Relationship Bank Account, click the link
54:17 in the show notes or search the title on Amazon.
54:19 This book is packed with
54:21 all my secrets to success in both
54:23 relationships and life. Make sure
54:25 to pick up a copy, and if the book helps you
54:27 on your journey, let us know by leaving
54:29 a review. I appreciate all of you
54:31 and can't wait to see you on the next one.
54:33 [Music]