18 November 2023 Friday Night Livestream
You never... NEVER, in FACT, "self" attack.
Transcript: https://freedomain.com/you-never-in-fact-self-attack-transcript/
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You never... NEVER, in FACT, "self" attack.
Transcript: https://freedomain.com/you-never-in-fact-self-attack-transcript/
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
Get my new series on the Truth About the French Revolution, access to the audiobook for my new book 'Peaceful Parenting,' StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00:00 Well well, good evening everybody. Sorry for the slightly late start. It is
00:00:05 Friday Night Live, 17th of November 2023. Let's get straight to your comments and
00:00:15 questions. Good evening, good evening everybody. Thank you for the start off
00:00:20 tip. I would appreciate that. If you could help out the show. Yeah let me tell you
00:00:27 man, I was kind of wiped today. Well my whole family's sick. My daughter's just
00:00:31 getting better. My wife has a cough that sounds like Satan is trying to turn her
00:00:36 inside out and wear her as a hand puppet. I am okay though. Throat's a little funny
00:00:41 but probably just gonna be fine. So yeah I was pretty wiped today. I just finished
00:00:49 up. What have we done? I've done like eight hours on the French Revolution and
00:00:55 let me tell you it's grim and dark and ugly stuff and it's like
00:00:59 scraping the hideous bottom barrel of the worst kind of human motivations. So
00:01:04 yeah it's bad. It's bad. Let me gauge how valuable it would be for you if I
00:01:15 could unplug your habit of self-attacking. How would it help you?
00:01:21 Would it help you if I were able to unplug from you self-attack?
00:01:30 All right now would you say that I'm fairly good at not self-attacking? Would
00:01:38 you say I'm fairly good other than self-attacking myself with massive
00:01:42 weights and protein powders? Would you say I'm fairly good? I mean I
00:01:46 criticize myself. I change course when necessary but I think I'm fairly good
00:01:51 at not self-attacking right? Now this wasn't always the case with me. I was a
00:01:55 bit of a racket smasher when I lost a game of tennis when I was a kid. So all
00:02:01 right it looks like it would be good. Now remember this when it comes time to tip
00:02:04 if I can help you stop self-attacking. All right let me ask you this. I want to
00:02:12 sort of get where the audience is so I can gauge my response. You're not sure
00:02:18 what self-attacking means exactly?
00:02:22 Would it be helpful? Do you want a definition of it first?
00:02:27 Self-attacking is when you try to alter your own behavior through punishment and
00:02:33 rage. "I'm so stupid!" You know that kind of stuff. "Idiot!" Right? "How could I have
00:02:39 how could I have been so eh?" Right? Negative self-talk. "I'm not worthy of
00:02:45 anything. Nobody's gonna love me. I'm incompetent. I'm an idiot." Like when you
00:02:48 just verbally abuse yourself. You verbally abuse yourself. Right? There's no
00:02:53 encouragement. There's simply punishment. Right? Okay. Hit me with a why if you've
00:03:00 ever toyed with ideas of self-harm. Self-harm means more than just verbal but
00:03:07 physical. Anything to do with like cutting or highly dangerous behavior,
00:03:12 drinking too much to the point of danger, getting in fights, even exercising to the
00:03:18 point where you hurt yourself. Just a sort of grim desire to harm yourself. And
00:03:24 it doesn't mean cutting although it can but it could be any kind of any kind of
00:03:29 stuff like that. Okay so we've got some of that. Eating foods I'm allergic to.
00:03:36 Okay. So I mean like most of us I think you have some habits of self-criticism.
00:03:41 And some of you have some habits of self-harm. "Can I lift this log for you my
00:03:49 brothers and sisters?" Can I lift? "Ah hello Alan nice to meet you. Welcome.
00:03:56 Welcome from Australia. I'm gonna lift this log for you." And it's not even
00:04:02 gonna take that long. And if you meditate on this and if you internalize and this
00:04:07 is how I released myself from self-criticism to the point where even
00:04:10 when the world itself savagely attacks me on an unjust basis I don't turn on
00:04:15 myself. Right? Does that make sense? Yeah overwork, over drink, diet soda. Yeah yeah
00:04:21 please try and stay away from diet sodas. I'm telling you diet sodas easy
00:04:26 habit to kick. Easy habit to kick. Yeah following politics yeah that's a form of
00:04:30 self-harm for sure. Diet soda is pretty easy habit to kick. Just get yourself a
00:04:36 soda maker. My opinion get yourself a soda maker and you get free soda and
00:04:43 you can throw in some lemon juice or whatever it is some little flavor if you
00:04:47 don't find it. But yeah diet sodas are not not particularly good for you.
00:04:52 Alright so is overworking and burning myself out a form of self-attack? No.
00:04:57 Overworking and burning yourself out is a form of trying to avoid self-attack.
00:05:01 "I failed. I should have worked harder. I should have done more blah blah blah blah"
00:05:05 Right?
00:05:07 You switch to salsa? Yeah I'm a club soda guy. To me club soda with a splash
00:05:17 OJ is heaven on earth. And you can also get them you can get like bottles now.
00:05:22 I'm also a bit of a kombucha guy so I'll mix in water and kombucha together so I
00:05:26 kind of like that stuff. So all right. "Alcoholism is escapism from a bad
00:05:32 marriage" That's very true. Yeah yeah yeah if you have a bad marriage you can found
00:05:36 a company. All right I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page
00:05:41 when I get started here because this is going to be life-changing.
00:05:45 I have one of those I got an adapted to a large co2 tank it's like three cents a
00:05:50 cup or something. My god man how much do you drink? What are you a dolphin?
00:05:55 What's the difference between salsa and club soda? One is a drink the other one
00:05:59 is the lead singer of a rockabilly band. Oh straight cat strut I'm a lay's cat.
00:06:06 First stream hit 50 likes so here's a freebie of filthy animals. Well thank you
00:06:10 Josh always very very kind.
00:06:14 Somebody says "I keep thinking about really bad things that happen I would be
00:06:19 relaxed and it comes up. Last month don't stop it's like I want to hurt myself how
00:06:23 can I stop?" I will tell you. "How do you know whether you're self-attacking
00:06:28 versus healthy self-criticism?" Well healthy self-criticism encourages you
00:06:32 and it's a positive experience.
00:06:36 "Finally donated after yesterday thank you sir." Thank you my friend I appreciate
00:06:40 it. I gotta tell you it's a lean month. November is a lean month. It's a lean
00:06:45 month historically. It gets usually a little bit better around Christmas time
00:06:50 but I do keep my bit of the eye on the donation and it ain't a
00:06:56 joyous thing. It ain't a joyous thing. And I was just saying earlier if you missed
00:07:01 this I just finished up I did like eight or nine hours on the French Revolution
00:07:04 and I just finished that up today. Oh man it was brutal. It was brutal. It was
00:07:08 really really hard to get through. It was it was no tip November yeah no tip
00:07:14 November that's right. No tip November. That's pretty funny. All right.
00:07:23 So why do you self-attack? Let me just ask where you're coming from though.
00:07:30 What are your theories as to why you self-attack? Why do you self-attack do
00:07:36 you think? What are your thoughts?
00:07:41 When did you... Why do you think carrying my parents legacy? Okay that's fairly
00:07:50 because of the past you know that's not particularly specific. I'm just curious
00:07:55 when did you... Why do you think you self-attack? Because of lack of respect
00:08:01 for yourself? Because it "helps someone else?" Internal parents. They're all very
00:08:08 generic answers. Childhood trauma yeah yeah bad things happen therefore bad
00:08:11 things happen right? Avoidance learned helplessness right?
00:08:20 Right
00:08:24 So all of these things are why you did self-attack as a child. Why do you
00:08:32 self-attack as an adult though right? If you still believe in Santa at the age of
00:08:38 25 and somebody says well why did you believe in... Why do you believe in Santa?
00:08:41 You say well because my parents told me to believe in Santa. Okay well your
00:08:44 parents told you you were bad. Why do you still believe it? That's the question
00:08:48 right?
00:08:50 Part of me wants to yell and abuse don't want to give that up. Because you get
00:09:02 punished for being successful right? Habit survival mechanism. I mean the
00:09:13 stream's working for everyone else so I can't... You switch browsers reboot.
00:09:17 There's no live tech help here right? Sorry I mean unless it's not
00:09:21 working for everyone. Okay so you'll just have to listen or watch it later but if
00:09:28 it's working for everyone else but not for you then the problem obviously is at
00:09:31 your end and I don't really know how to do that right?
00:09:34 All right
00:09:38 So I want you to... I want to tell you a story and this is a story of you and I'm
00:09:48 gonna ask you for a real big favor here and ask you for a real big favor all
00:09:52 right? Stop typing. Everyone this is the listening time. I don't say this. How
00:09:59 often do I say this right? This is a stop typing time okay? Because you really
00:10:07 really really really really need to listen to this because this is your life
00:10:11 on the line. This is your future on the line all right? And also stop asking for
00:10:16 tech help and like just do me a favor just concentrate all right? I'm gonna in
00:10:22 fact just get rid of the browser because I don't want to be distracted and I'm
00:10:27 gonna suggest don't play video games don't do something else really really
00:10:31 listen. If you can watch, watch and look at all the people who just can't take any
00:10:40 coaching. Look at all the people who can't take any coaching. Well it's your
00:10:45 choice it's your life. All right I'm gonna tell you a story, the story of you.
00:10:51 If you witnessed a crime, a deadly crime and the criminals who committed the
00:11:02 crime knew for a simple obvious fact that you had witnessed that crime you
00:11:12 would be pretty nervous right?
00:11:15 You would be pretty nervous right?
00:11:19 The criminals would always be nervous that you would go to the police and be a
00:11:27 material witness to the homicide, the rape, the crime, whatever had been
00:11:31 committed and you would feel edgy and you would also be kind of in a no-win
00:11:40 situation because if you go to the police the criminals will hunt you. If
00:11:47 you don't go to the police the criminals and your conscience will hunt you. Does
00:11:52 that make sense? You saw a crime let's say you saw a murder right? If you don't
00:11:59 go to the police the criminals will hunt you and you'll feel bad if you go to the
00:12:02 police you might feel better in terms of your conscience but you will
00:12:06 feel much worse in terms of danger.
00:12:12 So you're in a situation where you can't win, you can't make a good choice.
00:12:21 There are no good choices in this situation right? There's no good choices
00:12:24 in that situation. You can't win because you witnessed a crime. No matter what you
00:12:30 do, no matter which way you turn, no matter which way you try to sleep, no
00:12:33 matter what time you wake up, what time you go to bed, the thought will be
00:12:36 constantly niggling and naggling at your mind like your old ballers gate tadpole
00:12:41 it will be niggling at your mind that you could be doing something better you
00:12:45 could be doing something different and you are in fact doing something
00:12:48 wrong or negative or harmful to yourself.
00:12:53 So in other words once you've witnessed a crime you're kind of screwed. Now maybe
00:13:04 just maybe you go to the police and the police deal with it in some
00:13:10 magnificently positive way and you don't get attacked by the criminals or they
00:13:16 don't find you or something and they go to jail and right but then of course
00:13:19 they have friends they have family it just goes on and on and on or maybe you
00:13:22 go into witness protection program and your whole life turns over but you gotta
00:13:26 spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. There's no good choice
00:13:29 once you've witnessed a crime.
00:13:34 There's no good choice. You can't win. You can only lose to varying degrees. Now
00:13:47 why do I use this analogy?
00:13:51 You know, you know, you know, he knows, you know.
00:14:01 You have witnessed a crime. You've probably witnessed countless crimes. You
00:14:07 probably can't even count the crimes that you have observed.
00:14:15 The crime that you've ever witnessed is abuse against yourself as a child almost
00:14:24 certainly for most of the people in this chat statistically for most of the people
00:14:27 in the world. I'm just gonna say everyone although I know it's not everyone.
00:14:31 You've witnessed a crime which means now there are no good solutions. How do the
00:14:44 criminals get you to stop going to the police? How do the criminals get you to
00:14:50 stop going to the police? They get you to worry. They get you to criticize yourself.
00:14:58 They get you to attack yourself. That way you don't go to the police. They also
00:15:04 try to make sure that everyone around you colludes with them, not you, colludes
00:15:09 with the criminals, not virtue or you or morality or self-protection or
00:15:13 righteousness or anything like that.
00:15:16 So that you will be isolated if you go to the police. You will have to go into
00:15:22 witness protection program. You'll have to give up your life. You'll have to give
00:15:25 up your family. You'll have to give up your friends. You'll have to give up your
00:15:28 neighborhood, your community, your job, your education, your schooling, everything
00:15:31 and go live in the arse end of nowhere probably in Nebraska and start an
00:15:37 entirely new life always looking over your shoulder.
00:15:41 Now we have to in this analogy assume that the criminals can't just kill you
00:15:52 for some reason. It could be that you're the son of somebody famous. It could be
00:15:56 that you have some hold over them. It could be that you have some dead drop
00:16:00 letter that if you say if I die then this letter goes immediately to the
00:16:04 police with all the details and blah blah. Like it could be all of those things but
00:16:07 for some reason they can't kill you because that would be the usual habit
00:16:12 and tactic of criminals when there's a witness to their crimes. Just kill them.
00:16:14 Dead men tell no tales, all that kind of stuff, right?
00:16:22 You are
00:16:25 the witness to a terrible crime spree called your childhood.
00:16:35 The crime committed by most likely if this applies your parents. If it doesn't
00:16:43 apply let it fly, no biggie.
00:16:48 And what is the solution? Well there's no police to go to because when you go to
00:16:53 people and you say that you've been abused most people will maybe listen a
00:16:56 little bit, kind of roll their eyes, kind of blame the victim, kind of move on, kind
00:17:00 of shrug, kind of blame you maybe a little and you'll get no comfort, no
00:17:05 alliance, no sucker, no support.
00:17:13 If you go to the people who abused you, you will get gaslighting, attack,
00:17:19 denigration, threats of abandonment, threats of abuse, or abused. You'll be
00:17:29 called a liar, your reputation will be trashed often for others and so on.
00:17:39 So if you understand that as an adult if you're a victim of child abuse you are a
00:17:49 witness to a crime. Now I want you to picture this. I'm going to shift the
00:17:53 scenario slightly so you can understand self-attack. Shift the scenario slightly.
00:17:57 In this scenario you have time-stamped, annotated, incontrovertible video of the
00:18:12 abuse that you suffered. Maybe it was physical abuse, maybe it was verbal abuse,
00:18:15 maybe it was sexual abuse, maybe it was neglect, could be any number of things.
00:18:19 You have video.
00:18:24 It's uploaded, it's processed,
00:18:30 and you have two screens open. In one screen you have the publish button for
00:18:35 the video and in the other screen you have the link that goes out to all
00:18:38 family members. Whatever happened, whatever happened, you have the video.
00:18:44 Maybe it's a montage, maybe it's a whole series of videos, screaming, hitting,
00:18:48 beating, assaulting, sexual assaults, whatever it is, if this is
00:18:52 what happened, right? If it doesn't apply, let it fly. You have in the one screen the
00:18:56 publish button and on the other screen you have send the video link to everyone.
00:19:06 Your parents, your parents' parents, their siblings, cousins,
00:19:14 friends, church congregation, the priest,
00:19:22 your teachers, whoever, whoever is relevant, whoever they've crossed paths
00:19:26 with, whose opinion they even remotely care about. Now,
00:19:36 I want you to picture the parents in your head when you're about to click
00:19:45 these two buttons. Publish video, send to everyone your parents know.
00:19:53 Are you with me on the journey? Do you see why I asked you not to type? You're
00:20:01 about to share incontrovertible proof of the abuse that you suffered and your
00:20:12 parents' reputation will be revealed. Their actual, well, their parents,
00:20:16 your parents' reputation among any decent people would be shattered. You have
00:20:19 absolute proof. Now, criminals only commit crime with the expectation of getting
00:20:26 away with it. If you know for sure you're gonna get caught, you really don't
00:20:29 generally commit the crime, right? So they think they're gonna get away with it.
00:20:32 Turns out, turns out you had Sixth Sense style, right? You have hidden video, you
00:20:37 have camera footage, you have, you've edited all together and it's
00:20:41 unmistakable and it might as well have been signed in affidavit format by
00:20:49 Supreme Court justice. You have incontrovertible proof of exactly who
00:20:53 your parents are and what they did to you. The sickness, the violence, the
00:20:58 beatings, the neglect, the assaults. And you're about to reveal it to everyone
00:21:05 they know. To everyone they know. The facts of how they parented.
00:21:14 Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? I know I am. It's chilling, right? Absolute proof.
00:21:22 It goes out to everyone. My family. What it's like at dinner time. What it's like
00:21:31 at nighttime. What it's like when they lose their tempo. What it's like when
00:21:34 they're drunk. What it's like when they hit you. What it's like when they assault
00:21:37 you. What it's like when they whatever molest you. God forbid. Wish he would.
00:21:43 Well he does, to be fair.
00:21:46 You're about to
00:21:51 reveal your abuses, nature, characters, actions, habits, behaviors, and evils, and
00:22:00 violence to the world, to their world, to their bosses, to their co-workers, to
00:22:05 everyone. Everyone. We'll see.
00:22:09 Now we all have internalized parents. We have to. We have to. This is in a good way.
00:22:15 This is how culture continues and so on. And in a bad way this is how abuse tends
00:22:20 to cycle. We all have internalized parents now.
00:22:25 When you are, you know, hands shaking, you're about to push, you got click click
00:22:32 publish share publish broadcast. What are your inner parents doing in your head
00:22:40 when you're about to do this? I'll go back to the chat here because I want to
00:22:44 get your thoughts on this and thank you for your patience while I give you this
00:22:48 liberating elegy.
00:22:52 What are your parents doing in your head when you're about to share
00:23:04 incontrovertible video of their abuses, assuming that they were abusive? What are
00:23:15 they doing? What are they saying? They're screaming stop. They're saying no.
00:23:22 Screaming to stop. Chambering a bullet. Panicking and bargaining.
00:23:29 Sabotaging you. Screaming no. They won't care and will attack you. You don't know.
00:23:35 They'll care. I imagine them staring at me saying nothing. Not, not, that's not,
00:23:39 that's not a thing. That's not real. This is great. Coming at you hard. They're
00:23:44 saying we weren't that bad or are you sure. No, they can't say that. Stay with me
00:23:48 because you have video. All you're doing is sending the video. Screaming and
00:23:54 baring teeth like an animal. Red-faced father. I brought you into this world. I
00:23:58 can take you out. That kind of thing, right? Pressuring you to stop or being
00:24:02 manipulative. Saying we love you blah blah blah. Putting the blame on me
00:24:09 and making it all my fault.
00:24:13 I don't think anyone would care.
00:24:17 No, that's dissociative. Of course they would care. Of course they would care.
00:24:25 I think in the end evil people always have a justification and that's why they
00:24:30 don't truly care or empathize. My mother once acknowledged the abuse and simply
00:24:33 said I thought you wouldn't remember. Yeah, but that's, I'm sorry for that and
00:24:37 that's sad but this is not what we're talking about. You have the footage. You
00:24:43 have the footage. I mean you realize what are there there are accounts in social
00:24:54 media that simply repost other people's videos and people completely free. Like
00:24:58 people that, videos that people voluntarily record and upload and share.
00:25:05 And they still freak out. Even these are voluntary things, right?
00:25:15 Would your parents attack you if you could push a button and reveal their
00:25:26 abuse to everyone they care about or are dependent on?
00:25:34 Right.
00:25:37 They would, right?
00:25:43 They would.
00:25:49 Do you get what I'm getting at here?
00:25:57 That's your self-attack.
00:26:04 That's your self-attack.
00:26:08 It's the constant pressure your parents put on you to shut the fuck up.
00:26:17 Yes, they're the ones attacking you. They have to keep you down so you don't say
00:26:24 anything. They have to keep you down so you don't have allies. They have to keep
00:26:27 you down so you keep your secrets.
00:26:32 You're not attacking yourself. I mean what animal does that? I mean do you see
00:26:38 beavers waking up in the morning and just deciding to gnaw on their own arms?
00:26:43 Do you see snakes chewing on their own tails? Do you see birds trying to peck off
00:26:47 their own wings? Is it bad that I'm laughing at this? It's so true. They would
00:26:55 say they were helpless and that I'm inherently flawed for being critical of
00:26:58 them. No, you're not staying with the analogy. Sorry for the impatience. Stay
00:27:03 with the analogy. This is not about you and your history. We're trying to break
00:27:06 you and your history and your story. Stay with the analogy, please. What would they
00:27:11 do if you're about to expose them to everyone? What would they do?
00:27:21 Anything and everything. They'd be destroying the computer. They'd unplug.
00:27:26 They'd leap over. They'd yank the mouse from your hand. What if they were in the
00:27:29 room? What would they do if they were in the room and you were about to go click
00:27:31 click? All the video of all the abuse would go to everyone.
00:27:37 What would they do?
00:27:41 Would they let you click? Come on, people. What would they do?
00:27:52 They would do whatever it took to keep the crimes silent. They would do anything
00:28:13 to stop it. I mean, it would be a very dangerous situation, you understand? It
00:28:19 would be an incredibly volatile and dangerous situation. Now, I know I added
00:28:22 in that they're in the room, but that's because people were telling me all about
00:28:25 this historical stuff and past stuff and I'm like, I need you to get the vividness
00:28:29 of the danger in the moment. That's the most interesting man in the world. I
00:28:39 don't always lie, cheat, gaslight, and ruin your life, but when I do, it's your
00:28:43 fault. That's funny. But this could be a mortal situation. This could be a very
00:28:49 dangerous situation. If they had to physically injure you to prevent you
00:28:56 from sharing the video to their friends, relatives, parents, pastor,
00:29:01 congregationalist, boss, whatever, right? If they had to physically harm you to
00:29:05 prevent you from sharing the video, would they do that? And that just could be
00:29:11 grabbing you and dragging you back from the computer. That could be pushing over
00:29:14 the chair. Would they do it? Would they harm you to avoid revealing their abuses?
00:29:23 Well, of course they would, because they already harmed you by being abusive
00:29:28 before, right?
00:29:39 All right, so let's follow this through to the end. Does this make sense so far?
00:29:46 Are you kind of getting the perspective that's going on in your head? Are you
00:29:49 getting the characters in your head? Because we've got one step further to go.
00:29:56 How are you guys doing? You doing okay? This is fairly intense stuff.
00:30:06 Well, it's intense stuff because it's fair.
00:30:10 I think my mother would take a more sophisticated approach and it would be
00:30:14 as life-ruining as possible. No, stay with the analogy. She's in the room. You're
00:30:19 about to click. What would she do? Oh, sophisticated and there'd be a back... No,
00:30:23 what would she do in the moment to avoid this video getting out? I'm putting her
00:30:29 in the room with you.
00:30:32 Well, this is heavy, but it's about to get lighter.
00:30:36 Now, let's take them outside of the room. Let's take them outside of the room, but
00:30:51 they're on speakerphone and you're telling them what you're doing, right? So
00:30:54 they can't stop you physically. They're on speakerphone and you say, "Mom, Dad, by
00:30:57 the way, I get all these messages from you. I'm not going to be able to get out
00:31:00 of here. Mom, Dad, by the way, I get all these videos of you hitting me, of you
00:31:04 screaming at me, of you neglecting me, of you..." And neglect, I know, is a tough
00:31:07 one, but just imagine you've got something there, right? "...of you assaulting
00:31:10 me, of maybe there's sexual abuse or whatever. I got all, all the video. I'm
00:31:15 about to publish it. I just wanted to let you know. It's going to your parents,
00:31:21 your boss, your co-workers, your family, your like everyone, right? It's going to
00:31:25 your siblings." They're on speakerphone. What do they say? What do they say when
00:31:32 you say, "I'm about to click send." And let's say that you gave them 10 seconds
00:31:39 of the video or something like that. You dropped a 10 second video so they could
00:31:42 see the kind of stuff that was going out. Them screaming or hitting or whatever
00:31:45 they're doing, right? What would they say to you, knowing that they had a very
00:31:53 short window to try and get you to stop sending the video? What would they say?
00:32:02 Yeah, they'd say stop, of course, but... "My parents encouraged drug use at 15, all in
00:32:09 the attempt for me not to talk, right? She would shame, yell, potential physical
00:32:13 violence, attack once I'd left, make calls, pit people against me.
00:32:16 'You're such an idiot, you're making it all up!'"
00:32:20 Right. "They'd bribe, 'You're so ungrateful.' She'd scream, cry, apologize, be hysterical,
00:32:27 threaten.
00:32:29 'You can't! Why are you doing this to us?'" Right.
00:32:37 "Forgive me?" Mmm, that's tough, man. That's tough, because that would be to try
00:32:45 and forgive in an extremity and with no acknowledgement of wrong.
00:32:50 "You're an evil person if you send that." "Where did you get that video?" "Yeah, I had
00:32:57 an anycam, I had a little stuffed toy and I recorded everything." "They tried to get
00:33:05 me to date a single mom." "No, no, no, what would they do in the moment? What's
00:33:09 their long-term strategy?" My god. "Beg forgiveness?" Maybe, that's, that's, but
00:33:18 they wouldn't have time. They need you to not click that in the next 10 seconds.
00:33:25 No, no, they're on speakerphone, sorry. They only have their words to get you to
00:33:30 stop revealing their crimes. "No one's perfect, let it go." No, that's not strong
00:33:34 enough. They need you to not send these videos, absolutely, desperately, and totally.
00:33:38 "What do you want me to do?" "Nope." "You've got 10 seconds." "What are they gonna say?"
00:33:46 "You think you're a Christian, but you don't honor your parents. Jesus wouldn't
00:33:52 like this. You're a bad Christian. You're effing awful. Please don't do this. We're
00:33:57 sorry. What do you think this will do? No one will care. Turn the situation around.
00:34:03 You'll go to hell if you click that button." Well, that's projection, right?
00:34:07 They'll go to hell, right?
00:34:10 "You were a bad kid. What option did we have? They would threaten your children's
00:34:17 lives." Well, that's not shocking, but very extreme, of course. "You don't understand. I
00:34:22 had to do that. Please don't. Let's talk through this." "I think my father would
00:34:29 respond more predictably. He would just yell and slur at me." "You effing asshole. We
00:34:34 will ruin your life if you do this." I think that's probably closer. Like,
00:34:37 there's no time for apologies. There's no time for please. There's no time for
00:34:41 negotiation. When time is short, when time is short, what's the go-to position?
00:34:49 No, when time is short, what is the go-to position? If you've got 10 seconds,
00:34:55 there's no time for negotiation or please or apologies or long-term plans.
00:35:02 Yeah, threats. Yeah, that's right. There's threats, attacks. No, how could you do
00:35:08 that to us? No, that they... It's attacks, it's threats. No, they can't flee. They
00:35:16 can't flee. They have to get you to stop immediately, unquestionably. Well,
00:35:26 initiate the use of force, but they're not in the room in this, like, they're on
00:35:29 speakerphone, right? What would they do? "You're going to ruin our family and ruin
00:35:35 my life. Why are you so vindictive?" No, no, no, no. We're not in the realm of
00:35:39 manipulative self-pity because that's not going to be strong enough to get you
00:35:42 to stop the click. They'd scream verbal abuse. "A threat of equal magnitude to
00:35:48 their consequences." Boom! I'm sorry you got that so deeply, but I'm proud of you
00:35:53 for what it's worth. Yeah, a threat of equal magnitude to their consequences.
00:35:57 Honestly, I'm a pretty good wordsmith. I could not in a thousand years come up
00:36:01 with a better phrase than that. "A threat of equal magnitude to their consequences."
00:36:04 That's right. That's right. I mean, if you had abusive parents, they were willing to
00:36:10 beat you up over dropping a dinner plate. You think destroying their reputation,
00:36:15 what would they do?
00:36:17 "In the shortest time frame with the highest stakes, my mother would go full
00:36:23 Kathy Bates." Yeah, yeah. In the movie "Misery." Yeah. "Change the subject." I don't know
00:36:28 what that means. They certainly wouldn't change the subject. "Desperate hateful
00:36:33 screaming." Yeah, you're gonna effing die if you do that. "You were always a bully." No,
00:36:38 you see, it's not direct enough. They have to get you to stop, and this is not a
00:36:41 conversation. They have to get you to stop, and it's an absolute emergency, and
00:36:46 they have 10 seconds.
00:36:49 "And all of the usual tactics won't work, because you have video." They can't
00:36:58 gaslight you, because you have video. They can't tell you it didn't happen,
00:37:01 because you have video. They can't lie to other people and say it didn't happen,
00:37:06 and you're crazy and a liar, because other people are gonna get the video.
00:37:08 They are gonna be fully exposed, irrevocably, fully exposed. No gas
00:37:15 lighting, no manipulation, none of any of that is possible. They can't lie their way
00:37:19 out of it. They can't manipulate. They can't bully. That's just... right? "Could
00:37:25 bribe." Yeah, that could be the case. That could be the case. But if you say, "There's
00:37:35 no money that will stop me."
00:37:39 "We will kill you. I'll kill you." Threats of violence.
00:37:44 They could bribe, absolutely. "No one will believe you." No, my god, man. Stop. Stop
00:37:51 with the "your history" scenario. Stay with this scenario. You've got video, hours of
00:37:56 video. They're on the videos. Screaming, yelling, hitting, beating, assaulting,
00:38:01 molesting, whatever it is. Others did worse. That's not gonna stop it. I mean,
00:38:08 not that this would ever happen, but if some kid of mine was like, "I'm
00:38:11 just gonna release videos of our interactions." I'd be like, "Okay, people want to see me
00:38:15 make a dad jokes and you rolling your eyes and us playing games." And you know,
00:38:20 today, I did the French Revolution, which was a long time and it felt like an
00:38:25 eternity. And then I went for a nice long walk with my daughter. She picked up some
00:38:31 tofu. I had a little pad thai. And then we went to a candy shop where I didn't buy
00:38:35 anything and she bought a couple of little things. And then we walked around
00:38:38 some more. We were just chatting and then we came home and we played some cards.
00:38:42 And yeah, I mean, good lord. Oh no, video of... right?
00:38:48 Others did worse? No. No, because you've got the video. See, you're going back to
00:39:01 past manipulations and I'm trying to get you to current threats. So video, if
00:39:05 they're severely abusive habits is published and revealed to everyone. Yeah, death
00:39:08 threats and all that, right? If you try to stop me from pushing this button, I will
00:39:12 unleash hell about you all. I don't know. Is that your reply to them? Lots of
00:39:18 blaming. No, they don't have time for blaming. I'm gonna destroy your reputation
00:39:22 and your name. Ask them to let them see the video and let them learn together
00:39:28 from it. I don't understand that. I will never speak to you again if you send
00:39:35 that. I will never support you or give you anything ever. Right. Do you know why?
00:39:43 And look, I don't know your parents, obviously, right? Now, why will the threat
00:39:52 of withholding affection not work in this scenario? Remember, abusive people
00:39:58 are very cunning. They know exactly what they can get away with because they get
00:40:01 away with so much, particularly in families. Why? I'm not sure what you're
00:40:07 referring to, Jared. Why will a threat of withholding affection not work? And
00:40:15 they'll know that.
00:40:17 Every response we've come up with are literally our self-attacks. Bingo! Why
00:40:25 would the threat of "I will never speak to you again and I'll never support you
00:40:28 or give you anything again ever" - why would that not work in this scenario? Why
00:40:32 would parents not?
00:40:35 Because the threat of withholding affection reveals a lack of affection to
00:40:39 begin with? No! Anthony, that's closer, absolutely, best answer so far.
00:40:46 No. All of this. Mmm, God, you guys are good. You're so freaking smart. I'm getting a
00:40:55 sunburn here. Oh, massive brain mega fusion supernova head.
00:41:02 No. The reason why threatening to withhold affection wouldn't work is you
00:41:10 just fucking spent a week editing together all of the abuse they did to
00:41:14 you. You follow? You're not sending videos you haven't reviewed. You've edited them
00:41:21 all down. You've picked out the stuff that is most vivid, most powerful.
00:41:25 You've spent a week or two editing all this stuff down. You've uploaded it. You've
00:41:29 reviewed it. So when you've just got 20 hours of people abusing you and they say
00:41:35 "Well, I'm not gonna be nice to you. I'm gonna withhold my affection from
00:41:40 you." You've just spent weeks reviewing and editing video of them abusing you.
00:41:49 You follow? It's hard to get into this scenario because this is
00:41:56 unraveling your self-attack. It's not self-attack! Do you understand? This is
00:42:02 not a theoretical situation. This is not a theory. This is every day for you, for
00:42:11 me, every day. Every thought, every concern, every anxiety, every worry, every
00:42:18 burden you hold, every lie you tell to hide the crimes.
00:42:24 You think this is a mental exercise? I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh because it's
00:42:34 serious shit, but this is not a mental exercise. Steph, I fear the video will not
00:42:39 ruin their reputation. It will.
00:42:44 It will.
00:42:49 It will ruin their pretense at a reputation.
00:42:56 But there's more. Hit me with a "why" if you're ready for the next part. It's not
00:43:05 anyone else's business. Doesn't matter. If they've claimed to be good parents,
00:43:15 they've already opened up conversations about parenting with other people. Okay,
00:43:18 you ready for the next part?
00:43:21 So you say to your parents, "I've got all this video. I'm gonna send it. It's you
00:43:30 screaming, yelling, abusing. I'm gonna send it to everyone because you've been
00:43:33 telling everyone that I'm crazy and you're great parents, that I'm a problem
00:43:36 and you were great parents. I'm just correcting the record. You opened up this
00:43:39 conversation. I'm just closing it off with actual facts, right?" And they're
00:43:44 screaming at you and they're threatening you and they're yelling at you and
00:43:47 they're, whatever, abusing you and God knows what they're saying in their
00:43:52 panic and their freakout and so on, right?
00:43:56 And then
00:44:08 you can absolutely say, "Mom, Dad,
00:44:13 two things you need to know. Two things you need to know. Number one, I don't
00:44:22 actually have any video. I don't actually have any video. That's number one.
00:44:26 Number two, I'm live streaming this to the family.
00:44:31 And I've recorded this. This is the video.
00:44:42 You screaming abuse at me, threatening to harm me, assault me, kill me, threaten,
00:44:46 destroy my reputation. I mean, sorry, I don't actually have any video from
00:44:51 the past, but I'm actually live streaming this to the family and I'm
00:45:00 recording it and now this is the video I'm gonna send.
00:45:07 Twist, baby! Now I fudged that a little by saying you spent weeks working on it. I get
00:45:14 that, right? So please understand I'm not M. Night Shymyle in here, but that's the
00:45:18 twist, right? That's not video. I just wanted you to believe that there was so
00:45:23 that you could reveal yourself on this live stream.
00:45:27 Boom! Right?
00:45:35 Yeah, they're admitting they know it's wrong when they threaten you for
00:45:39 exposing them. Got their conscience at that point.
00:45:43 Like a cop lying in an interrogation to get a confession. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, your
00:45:51 partner's already confessed and he's gonna get good time, but if you confess
00:45:54 you can get good time.
00:45:57 Now, did you feel the little flash of victory here? Gotcha, you manipulative SOBs.
00:46:13 Probably quite literally S&D OBs. You felt that little flash of "ah, for once
00:46:21 the children win." Yeah, we have footage of you robbing the bank, so just stop
00:46:27 lying and admit it.
00:46:30 You know that falsehood is often a way to get to the truth, right? I mean, I've
00:46:48 written some really great and powerful truths in my novels and they're all
00:46:53 falsehoods. Do you realize this whole scenario is a falsehood which is a
00:46:58 great fucking truth, is it not?
00:47:02 You're not attacking yourself. You're being attacked to shut you the fuck up
00:47:12 because you witnessed thousands of crimes over many, many, many years. You
00:47:20 feel emotional? This is great, yeah. In lies there is truth sometimes.
00:47:29 You're not self-attacking at all. You're just the witness to an attempted murder
00:47:38 of the soul.
00:47:41 Oh, Evan, dissociating. Would the world be a better place if everything was recorded?
00:47:52 Stay with your feelings, man. Don't go theoretical on me, bro. Don't dematerialize.
00:47:57 Don't despawn. Don't intellectualize. Don't philosophize. Stay with this.
00:48:09 I'm not suggesting you do anything. This is just a mental exercise. I have no idea
00:48:13 what you should do with your family and recording people without their
00:48:17 permission can break the law, so I'm not giving you absolutely any advice on what
00:48:21 to do. This is absolutely a mental construct, right? How do you stop
00:48:27 self-attacking though, Steph? Oh my god, really? Oh my gosh.
00:48:38 Oh, the rubber bones. I just spent 40 minutes telling you it's not self-attack.
00:48:46 Yes, but how do I stop self-attacking? Oh my gosh. Your abusers are attacking the
00:48:58 conversation by making you pretend to play dumb, right?
00:49:06 [sigh]
00:49:08 Damn, if that didn't throw the inner parental voice for a loop really
00:49:19 revealed its presence. Thank you.
00:49:22 I was doing great for a long time, so someone and I was assaulted six weeks
00:49:30 ago, minor assault, and I spiraled into sept-destruction? Self-destruction, I
00:49:36 assume that is. I tried to resist but it's taking time for me to claw my way
00:49:39 back. I'd say I'm like 70% recovered. Right. Who's ordering you to be in a
00:49:44 situation where you get assaulted?
00:49:48 Person says, "I wasn't trying to play dumb. I can't stop the bad thoughts." No, you
00:49:58 were. You were. I mean, you're not dumb. You're here, right? Top 1% of
00:50:01 intelligence I grant to everyone here. You're not. But you are trying to play
00:50:05 dumb. Because if I make an entire lengthy speech about how it's not self-attack
00:50:11 and then you say, "But how do I stop self-attacking?" Who's attacking you?
00:50:15 Dormaster, who is attacking you and why? Should be a short movie. That would be a
00:50:22 pretty funny short movie. It would be a great way to get pursued through the
00:50:27 streets by angry parents with pitchforks.
00:50:30 Why do you have bad thoughts? Why do you attack yourself? You don't attack
00:50:39 yourself. Attacking yourself, saying I self-attack, is another way your parents
00:50:46 attack you. Ellen, hang on, hang on. Let's not make it about you. A lot of people
00:50:52 getting value out of this conversation. I got your question. We'll get there.
00:50:57 I just self-attack. You understand, that's another attack from outside, saying that
00:51:01 you just self-attack. I just wake up in the morning and I just scream at myself.
00:51:04 I don't know why. I just self-attack. I just, I don't know what's wrong with me.
00:51:15 Heaven, you can't stop self-attacking because you're not self-attacking.
00:51:22 All right, hit me with a why if you had an older brother, or have. Hit me with a why.
00:51:34 You're feeling instant relief? Yes, good, good. I told you I'd get you there.
00:51:38 Trust in me. Oh, sorry about that note. Do you have an older brother, or it could be
00:51:46 an older sister, probably an older brother. Usually it's an older brother.
00:51:49 All right, hit me with a B, hit me with a B, if your older brother ever
00:51:58 grabbed your hand, used it to hit you, and said stop hitting yourself.
00:52:01 Right, just, you know, used your hand to hit you and said stop hitting yourself.
00:52:05 Hit me with a B, hit me with a B if that ever happened.
00:52:10 Pretty common, at least it was when I was growing up. Yeah, it's the kind of thing, right?
00:52:18 Hey, stop hitting yourself, man. LOL, yeah, oh, so LOL. Right, okay, so
00:52:28 you understand the analogy here, right? So a family member is grabbing your hand,
00:52:33 using it to punch you, and saying stop hitting yourself. B, B, B. Right.
00:52:40 Bad to the bone. I got in a physical fight over stuff like that. Yeah, for sure. For sure.
00:52:48 Yeah, you've probably seen it. Stop hitting yourself, right? So this is self-attack.
00:52:56 Now, if you were to get older, and your brother would grab your hand and use it to hit you,
00:53:00 and say stop hitting yourself, and you'd get older, and you'd say, you know, when I was younger,
00:53:03 I had this weird habit, like I just, I just started hitting myself for no reason. I must have been
00:53:08 weird. I must have been trying to punish myself. I just would stop beating up on myself, fight
00:53:12 club style, like for no reason. All gendered bad siblings did it, I'd say. Yeah, yeah.
00:53:18 Or you get an older brother who comes and sits his fat ass on you on the couch, and then says,
00:53:25 you should get up, man, you look uncomfortable. Why don't you get up? You should just get up.
00:53:29 You don't look, can you even breathe? You don't look comfortable. And he's just
00:53:32 squalling all over you Jabba the Hutt style, right? You get this
00:53:35 shit all the time with dysfunctional siblings, right?
00:53:37 I could tell some tales, but I won't. I could tell endless tales of this kind of stuff.
00:53:53 But we all understand it, right? Well, you know, I would just sit on the couch,
00:53:58 even though I was really uncomfortable and couldn't even breathe. I would just sit on
00:54:01 the couch. I don't know why I wouldn't get up. Well, maybe because you got a fat ass on your
00:54:05 chest, right? I mean, dysfunctional siblings mess with your sleep, they mess with your food,
00:54:19 they mess with your health, they mess with your, I mean, everything, right?
00:54:29 So if you had a sibling who grabbed your hand, hit you with it and said, "Stop hitting yourself,"
00:54:36 do you sit there when you're older and say, "I just would hit myself as a kid."
00:54:42 And I would go through this whole 40 minute—this is why I was a little frustrated, right? That's
00:54:51 why I said you're playing dumb, right? Because I go through this whole 40 minute explanation of,
00:54:55 "No, no, no, you weren't hitting yourself, right? You weren't hitting yourself, you were being hit
00:54:59 by your brother who was claiming you were hitting yourself, right? So you weren't hitting yourself,
00:55:03 right?" And then you immediately come back with, after my 40 minute explanation,
00:55:10 you immediately come back with, "But yeah, but why did I hit myself as a kid?
00:55:13 Well, I'm not playing dumb, like, I just don't understand. Why would I hit myself as a kid?
00:55:18 It makes no sense. I just did 40 minutes on, 'It was your brother doing this,' right?"
00:55:22 [Clears throat]
00:55:28 Playing dumb doesn't work here. It never does, it never will. Never, ever allow yourself to
00:55:33 play dumb. Never allow yourself to say, "I don't know," about your own life and your own history.
00:55:39 Never, ever, ever play dumb. Never give yourself the out—which, in fact, is just giving other
00:55:44 people out—never give people the out of blanking out, of gassing out in your head, of despawning
00:55:51 your thoughts and memories, and, "Well, I don't know, I don't understand." Don't give yourself
00:55:55 that. Don't gaslight yourself with fog, right? Thank you. Welcome, and thank you for the tip.
00:56:03 I appreciate that.
00:56:04 You're not attacking yourself.
00:56:19 You're being silenced by criminals.
00:56:21 No. We're talking about self-attack.
00:56:27 You're trying to avoid the Witness Protection Program. And what is the Witness Protection
00:56:39 Program in this analogy? In the analogy of having witnessed crimes and knowing criminals,
00:56:43 and having the capacity to reveal their crimes at any time, what is the Witness Protection Program
00:56:49 in this analogy?
00:56:50 Lola. How do the Kinks open their shows in Los Angeles? How do the Kinks open their shows in
00:57:03 Los Angeles? LOLA! Boy, there's a 60s joke. Actually, there—this is so good, it's unreal.
00:57:13 Oh, it's very real. And you're right. This is why I say this is the best show that will ever be.
00:57:21 So, the self-abuse is fulfilling the wishes of your abusers.
00:57:37 Self-abuse is four words and four words only.
00:57:43 Self-abuse is four words and four words only. Anybody want to guess what they are?
00:57:50 Self-abuse is four words and four words only. See, I need 40 minutes to tell you four words,
00:57:57 but it's a thing, right? Self-abuse is four words and four words only.
00:58:01 [Silence]
00:58:11 What is it? Shut the F up.
00:58:15 Somewhat.
00:58:18 Four words is the essence of what you refer to as self-attack.
00:58:29 Are you ready? Hit me with a "Y" if you're ready. Last Velcro off.
00:58:32 Are you ready? Now, the camera recording is different from the camera broadcasting.
00:58:41 All right. By the way, y'all, I'm still donating the value of the likes on this stream. Now,
00:58:48 this is the donation where you say, "How much am I worth? How much are you worth? How much are
00:58:52 you worth to have this release from you?" Okay. What you call self-attack is a constant threat
00:59:02 in your head, criminals saying to you, "You talk, you die. You talk, you die. You talk, you die."
00:59:17 Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong. You talk, you die. You talk, you die.
00:59:24 It's living under the constant threat of violence
00:59:32 for being real, of violence for honesty, of violence for truth, of violence for speaking
00:59:39 your mind, of violence for telling your history, of violence for revealing your abuse. You talk,
00:59:44 you die. How does the stream have fewer likes than the broken stream before it even started?
00:59:54 Who knows? Yeah, you talk, you die. Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.
01:00:00 What do criminals do with witnesses? They threaten them with death.
01:00:14 You can also look at it like loan sharks. What do loan sharks say?
01:00:16 "Pay us the money or we break your kneecaps. If you resist that, we'll just kill you."
01:00:39 I always know when I'm getting really close to a core truth because people dissociate and get
01:00:47 intellectual and ask, "Why do children universally experience this, that, and the other? It's
01:00:51 criminality." We can also do five words if you like. If you like, what do you know?
01:01:09 You know what the hell I'm going to say. Do re mi. We can do five words.
01:01:14 [silence]
01:01:23 And it's a very real thing. This is part of what you call self-attack, right? Are you ready for
01:01:29 the five words that characterize what you call self-attack? Here we go. Here we go. Satellite
01:01:34 radio, you all get hit with the boom, boom. Only one truth can survive. Only one truth will survive.
01:01:45 Do you follow? Only one truth will survive,
01:01:51 our truth or your truth, but we ain't both coming out of this room alive. Only one truth can survive.
01:02:03 Thanks, Dormaster. I appreciate you coming by. Go get some sleep. 3.30 AM for you. Please go
01:02:07 get some sleep. Sorry it was such a late show tonight. There can be only one. Only one truth
01:02:17 will survive. And this is, it's you or us. Two truths go into the wrestling room. Only one
01:02:36 will emerge. Five, two, one, baby. One in five. Yeah. No one here gets out alive.
01:02:46 [silence]
01:02:53 It's not self-attack. Please don't insult yourself. I'm sorry. Don't
01:02:56 mean to laugh. Don't insult yourself. It's not self-attack. It's not self-attack.
01:03:04 You know, I witnessed a murder and I'm very much afraid that I'm going to
01:03:07 shoot myself three times in the back of the head. I don't know why I would do,
01:03:12 I'm just going to shoot myself in the back of the head. I don't know why.
01:03:15 [silence]
01:03:26 Yeah, I witnessed three guys rape a girl and I just have this weird feeling I'm just going to
01:03:31 drag myself up to the top of the roof by my shirt collar and just throw myself off. I don't know
01:03:37 why. I mean, I just do this out of nowhere. It's bizarre. Do you see how insane that sounds?
01:03:44 [silence]
01:03:49 I have information that could lead to the arrest of... right.
01:03:52 [silence]
01:03:58 I saw my neighbor burying a body. He saw me watching him bury the body.
01:04:03 [silence]
01:04:06 I just feel like I'm going to cut the brakes on my own car for some reason.
01:04:10 [silence]
01:04:18 Steph, I appreciate how you walk people through the thought process instead of
01:04:21 just giving the answer right away. Sure, yeah. I mean, you gotta...
01:04:25 [silence]
01:04:28 You gotta get people out of the theater, out of the cave. Like, you ever do this thing where
01:04:33 you watch... oh gosh, I remember I watched two movies. One of them was, I think, called City
01:04:39 Hall with John Cusack. Completely forgettable movie. There was some other movie. For some
01:04:42 reason, I can't honestly remember many, many years ago, I watched two movies, like,
01:04:47 noon and 2 p.m. or whatever. I can't remember why. And of course, you know, you come out and the sun...
01:04:51 [sound of a man screaming]
01:04:53 You can see every spot that's ever existed from the womb onwards in your eyeballs or whatever.
01:04:58 So you're pulling people out of the cave, you gotta take it step by step. You can't just
01:05:02 yank them out and throw them into the heart of the sun, right?
01:05:04 [silence]
01:05:15 Self-attack. Without that step through, I wouldn't have got that emotional reaction with the twist.
01:05:20 And that's why, and again, so thanks Bethany, I appreciate it, that's why I keep dragging people
01:05:24 back into the scenario. Because if you don't stay in the scenario, you can't get the payoff.
01:05:28 Because then you're just thinking outside, right? Because you understand, how much do your parents,
01:05:33 if your parents were abusive, how much did they want you to go through that scenario? How much
01:05:36 did they want you to stop self-attacking? Because you're not self-attacking. You're not self-attacking!
01:05:42 [laughs]
01:05:46 It's not self-attack.
01:05:47 [silence]
01:05:50 Self-criticism, yes, because that's yourself wanting to improve.
01:05:53 [silence]
01:05:54 No better place to be on a Friday night.
01:05:56 [silence]
01:05:57 Or any night I choose to live stream Cheesy Cheese, thank you very much.
01:06:00 [silence]
01:06:01 Cusack was in a number of films in the 90s.
01:06:03 [silence]
01:06:03 Yeah, then he went kind of Titanic and mental.
01:06:05 [silence]
01:06:06 Yeah, that kid, uh, that kid went, uh, truly off, right?
01:06:11 [silence]
01:06:12 As usual, Steph, this was gold, thank you, I appreciate that.
01:06:15 [silence]
01:06:22 Now... [laughs]
01:06:24 [sighs]
01:06:30 Are you ready for one more?
01:06:31 [silence]
01:06:37 This is like a, uh, little thing, you know, like the little video they show at the end of the credits.
01:06:43 [silence]
01:06:44 You ready for one more?
01:06:45 [silence]
01:06:51 Alright.
01:06:51 [silence]
01:06:57 Have you ever noticed that parents who constantly criticize children want to stay in touch with them a lot?
01:07:01 [silence]
01:07:05 Parents who seem to have nothing good to say about kids, their own kids,
01:07:08 they just, you know, want to check, want to call, they want to come over, they want to see you,
01:07:11 they, right? Do you know why they do that?
01:07:13 [silence]
01:07:15 I mean, you know, if I've got a lot of criticisms of people, I don't hang out with them, right?
01:07:21 [silence]
01:07:21 Yeah, why do parents who don't seem to like you or have much positive stuff to say about
01:07:26 you or family members as a whole, why do they want to see you?
01:07:35 [silence]
01:07:37 Right? Why do they want to keep, why, why do they keep jacking up on you?
01:07:40 Why do they want to see you all the time?
01:07:41 I phone you, see how you're doing, coming over, blah, blah, blah, right?
01:07:44 [silence]
01:07:49 Why?
01:07:49 [silence]
01:07:54 So they can continue tearing you down.
01:07:56 Eh, maybe.
01:07:56 [silence]
01:07:58 Maybe.
01:07:59 [silence]
01:08:02 Yeah.
01:08:03 [silence]
01:08:12 If you saw a crime, you saw Bob assault someone, beat someone up, do something worse,
01:08:23 and Bob drops by once in a while and says, "Yeah, just, you know, coming to see how you're doing,
01:08:27 coming to, you know, check up on you and, you know, just wanted to, you know, maybe you can
01:08:32 make me some tea and we can hang for a few minutes. What's Bob doing?"
01:08:36 "What's Bob doing?"
01:08:38 [silence]
01:08:41 "Yeah."
01:08:41 [silence]
01:08:42 Make sure you're keeping the fuck quiet and to remind you, to remind you to keep the fuck
01:08:48 quiet, right? Again, tell me if I'm wrong. I'm happy to hear if I'm incorrect.
01:08:52 [silence]
01:08:55 You still keeping your mouth shut there, Sonny?
01:08:57 [silence]
01:08:58 You still doing the wise thing? You still doing the right thing?
01:09:01 [silence]
01:09:05 Yeah, it could be bribery. It could be any number of things. But no, they need to know that their
01:09:13 secret is staying safe. That's what they need to know. They need to know that their secret
01:09:17 is staying safe.
01:09:20 [silence]
01:09:25 They also, and how do they know? How do they know whether their secret is still safe? How
01:09:31 do they know? What do they do to find out if you're still gonna keep quiet? How do they know?
01:09:41 [silence]
01:09:50 These aren't awkward pauses. They're just pauses. If you're still self-attacking or censoring,
01:09:55 Chris, I will come over there and I will rip that word out of your filthy mouth.
01:10:01 You're not self-attacking. You're not self-attacking.
01:10:05 [silence]
01:10:10 Get my wife's name out of here. That's fine. I appreciate it. I'm just kidding, right?
01:10:13 [silence]
01:10:15 It's tough to change.
01:10:16 [silence]
01:10:20 Yeah, they pace you. So what they do is they come over and they try the old shit and see if it still
01:10:25 works. They try a couple of put-downs. They try a couple of insults. And just make sure that shit
01:10:31 still works. Because if it still works, they're safe. Right? If it still works, they're safe.
01:10:42 That make sense? Do that shit over again. Over and over and over. Just come in and
01:10:51 keep pressing the bruises. Make sure they're still bruises. Right?
01:10:54 [silence]
01:11:04 They see if you're still too self-attack.
01:11:06 [silence]
01:11:09 Ginger! Joe! Stop it! It's not self-attack.
01:11:12 [silence]
01:11:21 Hey, is all the old trick still working? Is this mechanic still working? Is our secret safe?
01:11:26 Is the crime never going to be revealed? Is the crime never going to be committed?
01:11:29 [silence]
01:11:40 Do you understand why the world went apeshit on me? Right? Like it literally went apeshit. Right?
01:11:44 You know why the world went apeshit on me. Right? I mean, I do. Do you know? You know why, right?
01:11:48 [silence]
01:11:51 The world is largely composed of criminals, or criminals to be.
01:11:57 [silence]
01:12:05 Facts. Straight up facts. Anyone who doubts that over the last couple of years was obviously living in a cave.
01:12:11 [silence]
01:12:26 I mean, one of the gravest crimes that I was convicted of, so to speak, was saying to you,
01:12:33 and to the whole world, and to tens of millions of people, "It's not your fault that you were hurt,
01:12:42 and you don't have to lie about being a victim of crime.
01:12:45 It's not your fault you were hurt as a child, and you don't have to lie about being
01:12:51 the victim of a crime. You don't have to falsify and pretend everything is fine
01:12:59 when you were the victim of a grievous crime."
01:13:03 [silence]
01:13:11 And I did it in a way that was not bombastic, or hysterical, or weird, or bizarre. It was
01:13:20 a very normalcy. Look, when I'm talking about these things, do I come across as crazy, unhinged,
01:13:26 weird, and disturbed? I'm not like, "Hello, darkness, my old friend." I'm not doing it.
01:13:33 It's just straight up facts, right? I'm not raging. I mean, I'm passionate, of course,
01:13:40 and I'm excited, and I'm interested, and I'm deep, and I'm emotional at times, but it's not crazy stuff, right?
01:13:45 [silence]
01:13:52 It was the normalcy. I remember many years ago, someone in the media who shall remain nameless
01:13:59 said to me, he said, "The strangest thing about you is how not strange all of the things you say are."
01:14:06 [silence]
01:14:08 You know, there are some people, you know, like, I mean, Alex Jones is very bombastic and so on,
01:14:14 and you know, I certainly have my moments and all of that, but I'm just, you know, I don't feel weird
01:14:18 about any of this stuff, and that's what's so strange to people. Like, I talk about this stuff,
01:14:23 I don't feel threatened by it, I don't feel weird about it, it's, I'm just telling you the facts
01:14:27 as I see them and making it hopefully a good case, right?
01:14:30 [silence]
01:14:40 And that's one of the things that's very strange, is normally people who are dealing with very dark
01:14:44 topics end up dark or weird themselves, right? But I, Nietzsche is useful as sort of fortune
01:14:51 cookie aphorism stuff, but I'll tell you one of the Nietzsche quotes that,
01:14:58 [silence]
01:15:01 I'm going to get it correct, right? I want to get it correct.
01:15:03 [silence]
01:15:07 It was a good, it was a good quote, and it had a huge impact me, a huge impact me,
01:15:11 on me when I was a kid, right? And it said, he said, "Beware that when fighting monsters,
01:15:18 you yourself do not become a monster. But when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also
01:15:27 into you. Beware that when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster."
01:15:33 [silence]
01:15:39 To really jump from Nietzsche to Jurassic Park, that guy in the first Jurassic Park,
01:15:46 I think he's Australian or something like that, and he's out there hunting the dinosaurs,
01:15:52 and then the dinosaur sneaks up and he says, "Ah, clever girl," right? And then, "Hah!" Right?
01:15:56 What do you mean, clever girl? He wants to die? He wants to die?
01:16:00 [silence]
01:16:04 So, yeah, I want to stare into the heart of darkness. I want to do what I can to help as
01:16:11 many people as I can to escape violence and crime and degradation and humiliation and all of that.
01:16:17 [silence]
01:16:20 But I'm willing to look deep into monsters, but not at the expense of my own humanity.
01:16:27 I'm willing to wrestle evil, but not at the expense of my own sanity.
01:16:32 [silence]
01:16:35 Calvin, nice to see you. "Hey, Steph, thanks for the truth bombs. Also, little update.
01:16:38 I was a caller a few Sundays back for seven years alone. I've got two appointments before
01:16:42 therapy next week." Beautiful man. Congratulations. Well done. Well done. Well done.
01:16:47 [silence]
01:16:52 If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Abyss is the wrong word there.
01:16:57 [silence]
01:16:59 If you explore evil, evil also explores you, is the way that I would put it. If you go exploring
01:17:05 evil, evil will also explore you, looking for a fish, a crack, a way to get in and infest you.
01:17:09 [silence]
01:17:13 If you fight a virus, the virus fights your immune system, tries to get past.
01:17:18 [silence]
01:17:20 No, because I don't want... Yeah, like in Nefarious, I don't want the pursuit of virtue,
01:17:28 which is inevitably the opposition to evil, to be ugly or different, right?
01:17:33 [silence]
01:17:35 You differed from so many other philosophers online. You got at the family, juxtaposed that
01:17:39 against individuals like Rationality Rules, who would waste your entire life on sophistry and
01:17:43 midwittery. It feels healthy the way you express your information. Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:51 [silence]
01:17:58 For whatever reason...
01:17:59 [silence]
01:18:03 I don't know. I'm always loathe to expose deepest thoughts for fear that it could be used against me,
01:18:08 but I'll err on the side of a lack of caution.
01:18:13 [silence]
01:18:20 Evil doesn't really scare me.
01:18:22 [silence]
01:18:26 And it's funny, you know, because in that I have, I think, something a lot closer to what
01:18:29 Christians have. And the Christians are not that afraid of evil because they recognize its
01:18:33 inevitability and you're going to be persecuted, right? You're going to be persecuted for doing
01:18:39 good. That's the foundation of the religion. And of course, they expect it and they're honored
01:18:45 by it and it gets them to heaven, right?
01:18:46 [silence]
01:18:51 Stephen Woodward? Is that Rationality Rules? I don't even know what he's doing. We had,
01:18:58 I think I did a couple of videos on his videos. We did a debate, I think, on UPB where he admitted
01:19:03 that rape, theft, assault, and murder could never be UPB. But I don't know what he's doing.
01:19:09 Is he still doing... Oh, how did he do on COVID? How did... Oh, good old... I haven't
01:19:16 thought of him in forever, but how did good old Rationality Rules do on COVID? That was
01:19:20 the big acid test for me. Like COVID and the vaccine, like that was the big acid test.
01:19:24 Right? The number of people who failed that test is appalling. It's just appalling. It wasn't even
01:19:31 a complicated test. I'm sorry to be in love. It wasn't. How did he do on COVID? Because he's all
01:19:37 about the science. He's a science guy, right?
01:19:38 [silence]
01:19:42 Anyway, it doesn't matter. I mean, I'm probably not going to... But no, that's the big acid test.
01:19:47 And it's not even... Oh, he sided with the regime. So, and it's not even... If you got things wrong
01:19:52 on COVID, okay, whatever, right? That sucks. And if you got things wrong on COVID and you got things
01:19:58 wrong on the vaccine, then the problem is that should provoke a crisis of self-examination.
01:20:08 Right? It should provoke a crisis of self-examination, which is how on earth could
01:20:12 I have gotten it so wrong? Right? It's like, you know, what did I say about, I don't know,
01:20:17 George Floyd, right? George Floyd, I had cops on and we talked about it and it's like,
01:20:23 yeah, no, he didn't seem to die from the knee. Oh, look what they just revealed now, and Chauvin
01:20:29 is trying to overturn his conviction based upon this, that he didn't die from the knee.
01:20:33 He didn't die from asphyxiation, right? So, if you get major things wrong,
01:20:38 you know, what did I say? I said, with Trump in office, there would be no wars because he's a
01:20:46 builder. There will be no wars and there were no wars. I mean, I don't get everything right,
01:20:52 obviously. I mean, it's a ridiculous thing to say, to even think that I would get everything
01:20:55 right, but in the major things I've done very well, very well. And if you have
01:21:02 gotten something catastrophically wrong, then there should be a fair amount of humility and
01:21:07 self-examination to say, oh my gosh, how did I get this so wrong? Anyone who stayed on YouTube, yeah,
01:21:17 I mean, YouTube was, I think to stay on YouTube, you had to side with the regime. It's just
01:21:24 the way that it is. Oh yeah, I mean, occasionally I go through the list of things I got right,
01:21:35 and it's pretty long. "E long, e long, baby, e long." I actually got a really good message
01:21:42 about, oh man, it was the best message I've got so far about getting back on Twitter, and it was
01:21:48 like, ooh, that's a good argument. That is a good argument. I was like, mm, daddy can taste the
01:22:00 reason dripping like wasabi off that one. I don't know, are you interested? Do you want to hear the
01:22:08 argument? Oh gosh, where did I get it? Where did I receive that argument? No, okay. I can't find it,
01:22:16 but I remember it fairly well, so I will get it. Yeah, so it was not consequentialism. So the
01:22:23 argument went something like this. Elon Musk has sacrificed tens of billions of dollars,
01:22:29 his reputation, he's fighting an incredible fight, he's opened things up to the free market of ideas,
01:22:35 and you're holding off for an apology that legally he cannot make, because to have an apology for
01:22:42 lying about you or whatever would be to expose himself to legal liability, he wouldn't be allowed
01:22:47 to do it, it would be fiduciary misconduct. So he's up there heroically fighting, and you,
01:22:52 for some principle that can't possibly be achieved, are holding off and letting him take all
01:22:58 these bullets when you could be up there fighting the good fight. And he's doing all this risk,
01:23:02 and he's surrendered a huge amount of money and time and peace of mind. And look at him in Lex
01:23:07 Friedman's podcast, he's very sad and says, "Most people think they want to be me, but they don't
01:23:10 really want to be me." And he's heroically stepping forward front and center to open up free speech,
01:23:15 he's restored your account, and you're just holding off for some fairly petty requirement
01:23:21 that you know can't be satisfied, and if you don't want to do it, just say so, but if you
01:23:24 do want to do it, don't just make up some impossible rule that people can't satisfy.
01:23:29 Does that sort of make sense? Yeah, it is a good... It's not consequentialist, it's
01:23:36 somebody's doing something brave and heroic and needs your help, and in a sense, you were abandoned
01:23:44 and you didn't like it, why would you abandon someone who's taking such a good argument and
01:23:50 a good stand, right? Does it seem compelling to you? Hit me with a "why" if it seems compelling.
01:23:55 I mean, yeah, I thought it was a pretty good argument, because it arouses the warrior hero
01:24:00 in me who wants to not abandon others on the field of blah blah blah blah blah, right?
01:24:03 And it wasn't consequentialist, and it wasn't all of that, right? You're not going back to
01:24:07 Twitter, you're joining X. But yeah, and it was respectful, not that that's essential, but it
01:24:15 helps, and it was passionate, and it was evocative, and yeah, it was just really... It was a really
01:24:21 good message. Yeah, honestly, good argument. A good, and I really appreciate, I mean, the fact
01:24:31 that it's a thought-provoking argument with an angle I hadn't thought of before. I don't want
01:24:35 to sound... Well, I haven't thought of it, it's brilliant, but it's a really, really good argument.
01:24:41 As far as the counter-argument goes...
01:24:47 Would it break fiduciary duty to apologize in private?
01:24:54 I don't know. It's funny, you know, I don't... Do you feel like anything is private anymore?
01:25:01 I mean, unless people are going through a body scanner and leaving everything behind,
01:25:04 do you feel like... Isn't everyone concerned that everything's being recorded, every message,
01:25:10 every email, every... Someone's got... Does anything feel private anymore? I don't know about that
01:25:15 anymore. I mean, even when I used to go and give speeches and so on, I'd be like, "Yeah, well,
01:25:19 someone could be recording even just a private conversation, and I'm not going to be like,
01:25:23 'Turn in your phones and put them in a whatever box,' or whatever it is, right?"
01:25:27 So... Yeah, so I don't know that he would do that, right?
01:25:34 And Elon is certainly taking some risks these days. I mean, especially these days, right? So
01:25:43 it's very interesting.
01:25:44 The Twitter files revealed that intelligence agencies were viewing people's DMs on Twitter.
01:25:54 Yeah. Yeah, the Faraday cage. That's the one I was thinking of. I have the one that,
01:25:58 you know, "Please clean your phones. They have more bacteria on them than toilet seats." And we
01:26:02 put them up to our face. But yeah, Faraday cage. You can get little UV light things that
01:26:06 just blast them and clean them up. My opinion, probably worth it.
01:26:10 Well, I mean, I've always communicated as if some judge is looking over my shoulder. I mean,
01:26:17 that's just been from the very beginning. It's not paranoia. It's just... I mean,
01:26:19 it's kind of drilled into me in the business world. As an executive and a board member,
01:26:24 you have to... I mean, you just... You can't put anything down in writing. You know,
01:26:28 there's lots of business people who just won't do emails at all, because they say it just...
01:26:31 It always ends up in court. The stuff people write, it's just amazing to me. The stuff people
01:26:38 write down, like it's, "Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, no problem. Let's write it down." It's like,
01:26:42 "It's private." No, it's not. So I don't know that a private whatever... I mean,
01:26:50 I would certainly appreciate it. I would certainly appreciate it. But you know,
01:26:54 I'm obviously a busy guy. He doesn't probably even know that I exist. So
01:26:57 that's why FTX used Signal. Is Signal secure? I don't even know. Is Signal secure?
01:27:04 I mean, they used it, but... And no matter what's secure, somebody can just take a picture of
01:27:12 somebody can just take a picture. I give them, it's that proof. I don't know. But somebody can
01:27:15 just take a picture of the screen. I don't know. People think, "Oh, it's a shelf-threading thing.
01:27:18 It's going to..." Right? I don't know. But yeah, I just... We've got this incredible conversation
01:27:25 ability, and I think, I assume just in general, that means that nothing is private. And I mean,
01:27:32 I wish that wasn't that trade-off, but it's worth it nonetheless for me as a whole.
01:27:38 Now, I mean, counter-arguments, there are some that are practical. Elon Musk obviously is
01:27:44 infinitely wealthier than I am, and Elon Musk can afford all kinds of security, and Elon Musk
01:27:51 is surrounded by an infinity of lawyers and all that kind of stuff. So
01:27:57 CBDC will make it worse. No privacy at all with money. Oh yeah, CBDCs get in, it's all over. Yeah,
01:28:04 it was a great run. It was a great... The Age of Reason will probably not return for...
01:28:08 Honestly, I remember reading a book many, many years ago that was theorizing that the government
01:28:13 in 1984 lasted 7,000 years. I can kind of see that. I can kind of see that. Yeah,
01:28:18 I mean, that's a level of control that we'll not leave behind.
01:28:24 Definitely not. Oh, it's not... Signal is not secure, especially on SM platforms.
01:28:31 I don't know what SM means. Small to medium platforms?
01:28:35 Yeah, satellites surrounding the world as security.
01:28:39 I have a very great admiration for some of what Elon Musk is doing as a whole.
01:28:56 Signal is secure, TMU, to my understanding. All the libertarians around here, they all use Signal.
01:29:03 I don't think Telegram is as much, but I think Signal is. All right, any last questions or
01:29:09 comments? Tell me how helpful and how useful was this conversation about self-attack. Please do
01:29:14 not refer to it as self-attack. I know, I just referred to it as self-attack. Sorry, I'll punch
01:29:19 myself, but it'll be my brother. Please don't refer to it as self-attack. It's threats to keep
01:29:28 the crimes to yourself. It's threats to keep the crimes to yourself. Keep quiet or die. It's not
01:29:38 self-attack. The only real privacy you have is in the trust in your relationships, right?
01:29:46 The only real sort of privacy you have is the trust in your relationships.
01:29:49 Naomi Reckwell recommends Signal. Oh, is that right? Yeah.
01:29:53 All right, last questions, comments? Very helpful talk. Well, I hope so. And listen,
01:30:00 you might need to think about this more than once. You might want to write it down. Just because you
01:30:04 hear something and you feel the burden, you ever have this, you hear something like, "Oh, I feel
01:30:07 a burden is lifted," and then what happens is it slowly settles back down. You kick up the mud
01:30:14 in a lake and then it sort of goes back down over time. It's just something you need to remind
01:30:18 yourself of, because you're reminded constantly the other direction. So you just need to remind
01:30:23 yourself back to not use the term self-attack, but witness intimidation. Does that make sense?
01:30:33 The phrase that I use in my head, it's not self-attack, but it's witness intimidation.
01:30:41 Why are you up so late today? I was planning on doing something with my daughter.
01:30:45 It didn't end up working out, which is why I switched it from seven to nine.
01:30:48 And I tell you, I was kind of wiped after the... I did like two hours almost on the finishing up the
01:30:55 French Revolution presentation today, and I was just wiped. It took everything I had. But I think
01:31:01 it also helped me inform, it helped to inform the sort of conversation tonight. So yeah, "Oh,
01:31:06 I'm attacking myself." No, it's just witness intimidation. I'm the witness to a crime and I'm
01:31:09 being intimidated into silence. So just witness intimidation, that's all it is.
01:31:13 Naomi Brockwell, that's right. It's just witness intimidation. Yeah, okay,
01:31:20 they're just threatening me to keep the crime silent. I get it. "Oh, you're such a..." No,
01:31:25 no. Okay, got it. Yeah, I got a threat from the criminal to keep the crime to myself.
01:31:31 Witness intimidation, that's all it is. You witnessed thousands of crimes over decades,
01:31:36 probably. And yeah, you witnessed a crime and you're being threatened into silence.
01:31:42 You don't self-attack at that point, right? I'm so stupid because I'm being threatened because
01:31:48 I accidentally saw a crime, right? You weren't out there looking for crimes, you're not Batman.
01:31:51 It's just witness intimidation, that's all it is. I mean, doesn't that help? It's not pathological.
01:31:58 This is why I don't self-attack. It's like, yeah, I mean, people... Newsflash, criminals don't want
01:32:05 their crimes revealed and will intimidate people. I mean, you get it, right? But we all know this.
01:32:11 This is how criminals operate. This is how they work. If you found this helpful and you haven't
01:32:14 donated, come on, man. Come on, brother. Come on. Tell me this isn't a massive life-changing
01:32:21 series of arguments. Come on. If this doesn't release you, that's on you. Like, now you know,
01:32:30 right? If you don't drive where the GPS tells you to, that's on you. But this is how to get out.
01:32:34 This is how to get out of this prison. This is how to get out of the prison, to just recognize
01:32:40 it for what it is. Just witness intimidation because you witness crimes, all right?
01:32:44 So every time you're down on yourself... Thank you, I appreciate that, Josh. Very, very kind.
01:32:51 Every time you're down on yourself, you're self-attacking, you're mad at yourself,
01:32:56 you're feeling self-destruction, you recognize the fist that's hitting you is not your own.
01:33:01 You're just being intimidated into silence. So the criminals get away with stuff. Now,
01:33:07 the good news is the best way to fight criminals is to stop listening to them.
01:33:15 The best way to fight criminals is to stop listening to them. And the real attack is
01:33:21 them convincing you that you're doing it to yourself when you're not.
01:33:23 Because that way it's autonomous, right? The best way to keep someone silent is to have them
01:33:28 paranoid. And the self-attack is thinking it's you. So, all right, I know that the original crime,
01:33:35 child abuse. So, no, I can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you what to do.
01:33:41 I can't tell you what to do. Should you confront your parents? I don't know.
01:33:46 I don't care. I don't care. I care in terms of it matters to you, but I care that you stop
01:33:54 self-attacking. I care that you stop thinking that you're just attacking yourself or you have
01:33:58 some insecurity or you punch yourself or you dislike yourself. I want you to stop doing that.
01:34:02 What you do with that knowledge, I don't know. If I break you out of a prison, that's what matters
01:34:07 to me. Well, where do I go now? It's like, hey man, you're free. If I tell you where to go,
01:34:11 you're just back in prison, right? So, that's my advice. Clarity of thought is all that is necessary
01:34:24 for philosophy. Commandment of action is the opposite because it's no longer free will.
01:34:28 All right. Thank you everyone so much for a great evening. Let me ask you this, sorry,
01:34:43 just as we close off here. How do you guys like the later night shows? Does it matter? Do you
01:34:47 think? I thought this was a bit of a scorcher, a bit of a crackle, or a bit of a banger of a show.
01:34:53 Anthony, honestly, I appreciate, listen, I really, really appreciate your kindness, Anthony.
01:34:57 I'd like you to take six months off from donating to the show. I really, really appreciate it. You're
01:35:02 very kind and I absolutely, deeply honor your donations, but if you could take some time off,
01:35:07 I know that you need some money yourself and I would rather you apply it to maybe your career
01:35:12 or whatever it is. But I appreciate that if you could do it. At least six months, if you want to
01:35:18 take a year, that's great. But if you could hold off on that, I would really, really appreciate it.
01:35:22 You liked the time? Love them night hour, later is better. Kept me entertained while the baby slept.
01:35:27 Oh, I'm just here to entertain you? Like I'm just a clown? I'm supposed to perform for you? Like
01:35:38 entertain? Anyway, I can't do a Joe Pesci. Who am I kidding? It's a Saturday afternoon show. Don't
01:35:44 hit me with your weird sun-baked giant spider time travel. It freaks me out. Either later or earlier
01:35:49 usually stream starts when I start driving home. Yeah, you can listen in the car, right? You can
01:35:54 listen in the car. All right, well, let's think about doing a 9pm show. We'll put out a poll and
01:36:00 see. Good fellas. Yeah, it's a terrifying movie, isn't it? All right. Thank you, everyone. Lots
01:36:05 of love. I really, really appreciate your time tonight. Thank you for your support and
01:36:08 freedomain.com/donate. If you're listening to this later, you know it's only here because people
01:36:14 support the show. And have yourselves a beautiful, beautiful weekend. We'll talk on Sunday. And
01:36:21 voice or live stream, V or L? Voice or live stream? You tell me. Voice or live stream, V or L?
01:36:28 Voice or live stream? Voice or live stream? Which will it be? I like both.
01:36:40 Night fever, night fever. We know how to do it. L, L, L. All right. Yeah, right. Sorry. Sorry for
01:36:48 the voice, people. All right. Thanks, everyone. Have a great night. Lots of love. I'll talk to
01:36:54 you soon. Bye.