• 10 months ago
18 November 2023 Friday Night Livestream

You never... NEVER, in FACT, "self" attack.

Transcript: https://freedomain.com/you-never-in-fact-self-attack-transcript/

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Transcript
00:00:00 Well well, good evening everybody. Sorry for the slightly late start. It is
00:00:05 Friday Night Live, 17th of November 2023. Let's get straight to your comments and
00:00:15 questions. Good evening, good evening everybody. Thank you for the start off
00:00:20 tip. I would appreciate that. If you could help out the show. Yeah let me tell you
00:00:27 man, I was kind of wiped today. Well my whole family's sick. My daughter's just
00:00:31 getting better. My wife has a cough that sounds like Satan is trying to turn her
00:00:36 inside out and wear her as a hand puppet. I am okay though. Throat's a little funny
00:00:41 but probably just gonna be fine. So yeah I was pretty wiped today. I just finished
00:00:49 up. What have we done? I've done like eight hours on the French Revolution and
00:00:55 let me tell you it's grim and dark and ugly stuff and it's like
00:00:59 scraping the hideous bottom barrel of the worst kind of human motivations. So
00:01:04 yeah it's bad. It's bad. Let me gauge how valuable it would be for you if I
00:01:15 could unplug your habit of self-attacking. How would it help you?
00:01:21 Would it help you if I were able to unplug from you self-attack?
00:01:30 All right now would you say that I'm fairly good at not self-attacking? Would
00:01:38 you say I'm fairly good other than self-attacking myself with massive
00:01:42 weights and protein powders? Would you say I'm fairly good? I mean I
00:01:46 criticize myself. I change course when necessary but I think I'm fairly good
00:01:51 at not self-attacking right? Now this wasn't always the case with me. I was a
00:01:55 bit of a racket smasher when I lost a game of tennis when I was a kid. So all
00:02:01 right it looks like it would be good. Now remember this when it comes time to tip
00:02:04 if I can help you stop self-attacking. All right let me ask you this. I want to
00:02:12 sort of get where the audience is so I can gauge my response. You're not sure
00:02:18 what self-attacking means exactly?
00:02:22 Would it be helpful? Do you want a definition of it first?
00:02:27 Self-attacking is when you try to alter your own behavior through punishment and
00:02:33 rage. "I'm so stupid!" You know that kind of stuff. "Idiot!" Right? "How could I have
00:02:39 how could I have been so eh?" Right? Negative self-talk. "I'm not worthy of
00:02:45 anything. Nobody's gonna love me. I'm incompetent. I'm an idiot." Like when you
00:02:48 just verbally abuse yourself. You verbally abuse yourself. Right? There's no
00:02:53 encouragement. There's simply punishment. Right? Okay. Hit me with a why if you've
00:03:00 ever toyed with ideas of self-harm. Self-harm means more than just verbal but
00:03:07 physical. Anything to do with like cutting or highly dangerous behavior,
00:03:12 drinking too much to the point of danger, getting in fights, even exercising to the
00:03:18 point where you hurt yourself. Just a sort of grim desire to harm yourself. And
00:03:24 it doesn't mean cutting although it can but it could be any kind of any kind of
00:03:29 stuff like that. Okay so we've got some of that. Eating foods I'm allergic to.
00:03:36 Okay. So I mean like most of us I think you have some habits of self-criticism.
00:03:41 And some of you have some habits of self-harm. "Can I lift this log for you my
00:03:49 brothers and sisters?" Can I lift? "Ah hello Alan nice to meet you. Welcome.
00:03:56 Welcome from Australia. I'm gonna lift this log for you." And it's not even
00:04:02 gonna take that long. And if you meditate on this and if you internalize and this
00:04:07 is how I released myself from self-criticism to the point where even
00:04:10 when the world itself savagely attacks me on an unjust basis I don't turn on
00:04:15 myself. Right? Does that make sense? Yeah overwork, over drink, diet soda. Yeah yeah
00:04:21 please try and stay away from diet sodas. I'm telling you diet sodas easy
00:04:26 habit to kick. Easy habit to kick. Yeah following politics yeah that's a form of
00:04:30 self-harm for sure. Diet soda is pretty easy habit to kick. Just get yourself a
00:04:36 soda maker. My opinion get yourself a soda maker and you get free soda and
00:04:43 you can throw in some lemon juice or whatever it is some little flavor if you
00:04:47 don't find it. But yeah diet sodas are not not particularly good for you.
00:04:52 Alright so is overworking and burning myself out a form of self-attack? No.
00:04:57 Overworking and burning yourself out is a form of trying to avoid self-attack.
00:05:01 "I failed. I should have worked harder. I should have done more blah blah blah blah"
00:05:05 Right?
00:05:07 You switch to salsa? Yeah I'm a club soda guy. To me club soda with a splash
00:05:17 OJ is heaven on earth. And you can also get them you can get like bottles now.
00:05:22 I'm also a bit of a kombucha guy so I'll mix in water and kombucha together so I
00:05:26 kind of like that stuff. So all right. "Alcoholism is escapism from a bad
00:05:32 marriage" That's very true. Yeah yeah yeah if you have a bad marriage you can found
00:05:36 a company. All right I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page
00:05:41 when I get started here because this is going to be life-changing.
00:05:45 I have one of those I got an adapted to a large co2 tank it's like three cents a
00:05:50 cup or something. My god man how much do you drink? What are you a dolphin?
00:05:55 What's the difference between salsa and club soda? One is a drink the other one
00:05:59 is the lead singer of a rockabilly band. Oh straight cat strut I'm a lay's cat.
00:06:06 First stream hit 50 likes so here's a freebie of filthy animals. Well thank you
00:06:10 Josh always very very kind.
00:06:14 Somebody says "I keep thinking about really bad things that happen I would be
00:06:19 relaxed and it comes up. Last month don't stop it's like I want to hurt myself how
00:06:23 can I stop?" I will tell you. "How do you know whether you're self-attacking
00:06:28 versus healthy self-criticism?" Well healthy self-criticism encourages you
00:06:32 and it's a positive experience.
00:06:36 "Finally donated after yesterday thank you sir." Thank you my friend I appreciate
00:06:40 it. I gotta tell you it's a lean month. November is a lean month. It's a lean
00:06:45 month historically. It gets usually a little bit better around Christmas time
00:06:50 but I do keep my bit of the eye on the donation and it ain't a
00:06:56 joyous thing. It ain't a joyous thing. And I was just saying earlier if you missed
00:07:01 this I just finished up I did like eight or nine hours on the French Revolution
00:07:04 and I just finished that up today. Oh man it was brutal. It was brutal. It was
00:07:08 really really hard to get through. It was it was no tip November yeah no tip
00:07:14 November that's right. No tip November. That's pretty funny. All right.
00:07:23 So why do you self-attack? Let me just ask where you're coming from though.
00:07:30 What are your theories as to why you self-attack? Why do you self-attack do
00:07:36 you think? What are your thoughts?
00:07:41 When did you... Why do you think carrying my parents legacy? Okay that's fairly
00:07:50 because of the past you know that's not particularly specific. I'm just curious
00:07:55 when did you... Why do you think you self-attack? Because of lack of respect
00:08:01 for yourself? Because it "helps someone else?" Internal parents. They're all very
00:08:08 generic answers. Childhood trauma yeah yeah bad things happen therefore bad
00:08:11 things happen right? Avoidance learned helplessness right?
00:08:20 Right
00:08:24 So all of these things are why you did self-attack as a child. Why do you
00:08:32 self-attack as an adult though right? If you still believe in Santa at the age of
00:08:38 25 and somebody says well why did you believe in... Why do you believe in Santa?
00:08:41 You say well because my parents told me to believe in Santa. Okay well your
00:08:44 parents told you you were bad. Why do you still believe it? That's the question
00:08:48 right?
00:08:50 Part of me wants to yell and abuse don't want to give that up. Because you get
00:09:02 punished for being successful right? Habit survival mechanism. I mean the
00:09:13 stream's working for everyone else so I can't... You switch browsers reboot.
00:09:17 There's no live tech help here right? Sorry I mean unless it's not
00:09:21 working for everyone. Okay so you'll just have to listen or watch it later but if
00:09:28 it's working for everyone else but not for you then the problem obviously is at
00:09:31 your end and I don't really know how to do that right?
00:09:34 All right
00:09:38 So I want you to... I want to tell you a story and this is a story of you and I'm
00:09:48 gonna ask you for a real big favor here and ask you for a real big favor all
00:09:52 right? Stop typing. Everyone this is the listening time. I don't say this. How
00:09:59 often do I say this right? This is a stop typing time okay? Because you really
00:10:07 really really really really need to listen to this because this is your life
00:10:11 on the line. This is your future on the line all right? And also stop asking for
00:10:16 tech help and like just do me a favor just concentrate all right? I'm gonna in
00:10:22 fact just get rid of the browser because I don't want to be distracted and I'm
00:10:27 gonna suggest don't play video games don't do something else really really
00:10:31 listen. If you can watch, watch and look at all the people who just can't take any
00:10:40 coaching. Look at all the people who can't take any coaching. Well it's your
00:10:45 choice it's your life. All right I'm gonna tell you a story, the story of you.
00:10:51 If you witnessed a crime, a deadly crime and the criminals who committed the
00:11:02 crime knew for a simple obvious fact that you had witnessed that crime you
00:11:12 would be pretty nervous right?
00:11:15 You would be pretty nervous right?
00:11:19 The criminals would always be nervous that you would go to the police and be a
00:11:27 material witness to the homicide, the rape, the crime, whatever had been
00:11:31 committed and you would feel edgy and you would also be kind of in a no-win
00:11:40 situation because if you go to the police the criminals will hunt you. If
00:11:47 you don't go to the police the criminals and your conscience will hunt you. Does
00:11:52 that make sense? You saw a crime let's say you saw a murder right? If you don't
00:11:59 go to the police the criminals will hunt you and you'll feel bad if you go to the
00:12:02 police you might feel better in terms of your conscience but you will
00:12:06 feel much worse in terms of danger.
00:12:12 So you're in a situation where you can't win, you can't make a good choice.
00:12:21 There are no good choices in this situation right? There's no good choices
00:12:24 in that situation. You can't win because you witnessed a crime. No matter what you
00:12:30 do, no matter which way you turn, no matter which way you try to sleep, no
00:12:33 matter what time you wake up, what time you go to bed, the thought will be
00:12:36 constantly niggling and naggling at your mind like your old ballers gate tadpole
00:12:41 it will be niggling at your mind that you could be doing something better you
00:12:45 could be doing something different and you are in fact doing something
00:12:48 wrong or negative or harmful to yourself.
00:12:53 So in other words once you've witnessed a crime you're kind of screwed. Now maybe
00:13:04 just maybe you go to the police and the police deal with it in some
00:13:10 magnificently positive way and you don't get attacked by the criminals or they
00:13:16 don't find you or something and they go to jail and right but then of course
00:13:19 they have friends they have family it just goes on and on and on or maybe you
00:13:22 go into witness protection program and your whole life turns over but you gotta
00:13:26 spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. There's no good choice
00:13:29 once you've witnessed a crime.
00:13:34 There's no good choice. You can't win. You can only lose to varying degrees. Now
00:13:47 why do I use this analogy?
00:13:51 You know, you know, you know, he knows, you know.
00:14:01 You have witnessed a crime. You've probably witnessed countless crimes. You
00:14:07 probably can't even count the crimes that you have observed.
00:14:15 The crime that you've ever witnessed is abuse against yourself as a child almost
00:14:24 certainly for most of the people in this chat statistically for most of the people
00:14:27 in the world. I'm just gonna say everyone although I know it's not everyone.
00:14:31 You've witnessed a crime which means now there are no good solutions. How do the
00:14:44 criminals get you to stop going to the police? How do the criminals get you to
00:14:50 stop going to the police? They get you to worry. They get you to criticize yourself.
00:14:58 They get you to attack yourself. That way you don't go to the police. They also
00:15:04 try to make sure that everyone around you colludes with them, not you, colludes
00:15:09 with the criminals, not virtue or you or morality or self-protection or
00:15:13 righteousness or anything like that.
00:15:16 So that you will be isolated if you go to the police. You will have to go into
00:15:22 witness protection program. You'll have to give up your life. You'll have to give
00:15:25 up your family. You'll have to give up your friends. You'll have to give up your
00:15:28 neighborhood, your community, your job, your education, your schooling, everything
00:15:31 and go live in the arse end of nowhere probably in Nebraska and start an
00:15:37 entirely new life always looking over your shoulder.
00:15:41 Now we have to in this analogy assume that the criminals can't just kill you
00:15:52 for some reason. It could be that you're the son of somebody famous. It could be
00:15:56 that you have some hold over them. It could be that you have some dead drop
00:16:00 letter that if you say if I die then this letter goes immediately to the
00:16:04 police with all the details and blah blah. Like it could be all of those things but
00:16:07 for some reason they can't kill you because that would be the usual habit
00:16:12 and tactic of criminals when there's a witness to their crimes. Just kill them.
00:16:14 Dead men tell no tales, all that kind of stuff, right?
00:16:22 You are
00:16:25 the witness to a terrible crime spree called your childhood.
00:16:35 The crime committed by most likely if this applies your parents. If it doesn't
00:16:43 apply let it fly, no biggie.
00:16:48 And what is the solution? Well there's no police to go to because when you go to
00:16:53 people and you say that you've been abused most people will maybe listen a
00:16:56 little bit, kind of roll their eyes, kind of blame the victim, kind of move on, kind
00:17:00 of shrug, kind of blame you maybe a little and you'll get no comfort, no
00:17:05 alliance, no sucker, no support.
00:17:13 If you go to the people who abused you, you will get gaslighting, attack,
00:17:19 denigration, threats of abandonment, threats of abuse, or abused. You'll be
00:17:29 called a liar, your reputation will be trashed often for others and so on.
00:17:39 So if you understand that as an adult if you're a victim of child abuse you are a
00:17:49 witness to a crime. Now I want you to picture this. I'm going to shift the
00:17:53 scenario slightly so you can understand self-attack. Shift the scenario slightly.
00:17:57 In this scenario you have time-stamped, annotated, incontrovertible video of the
00:18:12 abuse that you suffered. Maybe it was physical abuse, maybe it was verbal abuse,
00:18:15 maybe it was sexual abuse, maybe it was neglect, could be any number of things.
00:18:19 You have video.
00:18:24 It's uploaded, it's processed,
00:18:30 and you have two screens open. In one screen you have the publish button for
00:18:35 the video and in the other screen you have the link that goes out to all
00:18:38 family members. Whatever happened, whatever happened, you have the video.
00:18:44 Maybe it's a montage, maybe it's a whole series of videos, screaming, hitting,
00:18:48 beating, assaulting, sexual assaults, whatever it is, if this is
00:18:52 what happened, right? If it doesn't apply, let it fly. You have in the one screen the
00:18:56 publish button and on the other screen you have send the video link to everyone.
00:19:06 Your parents, your parents' parents, their siblings, cousins,
00:19:14 friends, church congregation, the priest,
00:19:22 your teachers, whoever, whoever is relevant, whoever they've crossed paths
00:19:26 with, whose opinion they even remotely care about. Now,
00:19:36 I want you to picture the parents in your head when you're about to click
00:19:45 these two buttons. Publish video, send to everyone your parents know.
00:19:53 Are you with me on the journey? Do you see why I asked you not to type? You're
00:20:01 about to share incontrovertible proof of the abuse that you suffered and your
00:20:12 parents' reputation will be revealed. Their actual, well, their parents,
00:20:16 your parents' reputation among any decent people would be shattered. You have
00:20:19 absolute proof. Now, criminals only commit crime with the expectation of getting
00:20:26 away with it. If you know for sure you're gonna get caught, you really don't
00:20:29 generally commit the crime, right? So they think they're gonna get away with it.
00:20:32 Turns out, turns out you had Sixth Sense style, right? You have hidden video, you
00:20:37 have camera footage, you have, you've edited all together and it's
00:20:41 unmistakable and it might as well have been signed in affidavit format by
00:20:49 Supreme Court justice. You have incontrovertible proof of exactly who
00:20:53 your parents are and what they did to you. The sickness, the violence, the
00:20:58 beatings, the neglect, the assaults. And you're about to reveal it to everyone
00:21:05 they know. To everyone they know. The facts of how they parented.
00:21:14 Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? I know I am. It's chilling, right? Absolute proof.
00:21:22 It goes out to everyone. My family. What it's like at dinner time. What it's like
00:21:31 at nighttime. What it's like when they lose their tempo. What it's like when
00:21:34 they're drunk. What it's like when they hit you. What it's like when they assault
00:21:37 you. What it's like when they whatever molest you. God forbid. Wish he would.
00:21:43 Well he does, to be fair.
00:21:46 You're about to
00:21:51 reveal your abuses, nature, characters, actions, habits, behaviors, and evils, and
00:22:00 violence to the world, to their world, to their bosses, to their co-workers, to
00:22:05 everyone. Everyone. We'll see.
00:22:09 Now we all have internalized parents. We have to. We have to. This is in a good way.
00:22:15 This is how culture continues and so on. And in a bad way this is how abuse tends
00:22:20 to cycle. We all have internalized parents now.
00:22:25 When you are, you know, hands shaking, you're about to push, you got click click
00:22:32 publish share publish broadcast. What are your inner parents doing in your head
00:22:40 when you're about to do this? I'll go back to the chat here because I want to
00:22:44 get your thoughts on this and thank you for your patience while I give you this
00:22:48 liberating elegy.
00:22:52 What are your parents doing in your head when you're about to share
00:23:04 incontrovertible video of their abuses, assuming that they were abusive? What are
00:23:15 they doing? What are they saying? They're screaming stop. They're saying no.
00:23:22 Screaming to stop. Chambering a bullet. Panicking and bargaining.
00:23:29 Sabotaging you. Screaming no. They won't care and will attack you. You don't know.
00:23:35 They'll care. I imagine them staring at me saying nothing. Not, not, that's not,
00:23:39 that's not a thing. That's not real. This is great. Coming at you hard. They're
00:23:44 saying we weren't that bad or are you sure. No, they can't say that. Stay with me
00:23:48 because you have video. All you're doing is sending the video. Screaming and
00:23:54 baring teeth like an animal. Red-faced father. I brought you into this world. I
00:23:58 can take you out. That kind of thing, right? Pressuring you to stop or being
00:24:02 manipulative. Saying we love you blah blah blah. Putting the blame on me
00:24:09 and making it all my fault.
00:24:13 I don't think anyone would care.
00:24:17 No, that's dissociative. Of course they would care. Of course they would care.
00:24:25 I think in the end evil people always have a justification and that's why they
00:24:30 don't truly care or empathize. My mother once acknowledged the abuse and simply
00:24:33 said I thought you wouldn't remember. Yeah, but that's, I'm sorry for that and
00:24:37 that's sad but this is not what we're talking about. You have the footage. You
00:24:43 have the footage. I mean you realize what are there there are accounts in social
00:24:54 media that simply repost other people's videos and people completely free. Like
00:24:58 people that, videos that people voluntarily record and upload and share.
00:25:05 And they still freak out. Even these are voluntary things, right?
00:25:15 Would your parents attack you if you could push a button and reveal their
00:25:26 abuse to everyone they care about or are dependent on?
00:25:34 Right.
00:25:37 They would, right?
00:25:43 They would.
00:25:49 Do you get what I'm getting at here?
00:25:57 That's your self-attack.
00:26:04 That's your self-attack.
00:26:08 It's the constant pressure your parents put on you to shut the fuck up.
00:26:17 Yes, they're the ones attacking you. They have to keep you down so you don't say
00:26:24 anything. They have to keep you down so you don't have allies. They have to keep
00:26:27 you down so you keep your secrets.
00:26:32 You're not attacking yourself. I mean what animal does that? I mean do you see
00:26:38 beavers waking up in the morning and just deciding to gnaw on their own arms?
00:26:43 Do you see snakes chewing on their own tails? Do you see birds trying to peck off
00:26:47 their own wings? Is it bad that I'm laughing at this? It's so true. They would
00:26:55 say they were helpless and that I'm inherently flawed for being critical of
00:26:58 them. No, you're not staying with the analogy. Sorry for the impatience. Stay
00:27:03 with the analogy. This is not about you and your history. We're trying to break
00:27:06 you and your history and your story. Stay with the analogy, please. What would they
00:27:11 do if you're about to expose them to everyone? What would they do?
00:27:21 Anything and everything. They'd be destroying the computer. They'd unplug.
00:27:26 They'd leap over. They'd yank the mouse from your hand. What if they were in the
00:27:29 room? What would they do if they were in the room and you were about to go click
00:27:31 click? All the video of all the abuse would go to everyone.
00:27:37 What would they do?
00:27:41 Would they let you click? Come on, people. What would they do?
00:27:52 They would do whatever it took to keep the crimes silent. They would do anything
00:28:13 to stop it. I mean, it would be a very dangerous situation, you understand? It
00:28:19 would be an incredibly volatile and dangerous situation. Now, I know I added
00:28:22 in that they're in the room, but that's because people were telling me all about
00:28:25 this historical stuff and past stuff and I'm like, I need you to get the vividness
00:28:29 of the danger in the moment. That's the most interesting man in the world. I
00:28:39 don't always lie, cheat, gaslight, and ruin your life, but when I do, it's your
00:28:43 fault. That's funny. But this could be a mortal situation. This could be a very
00:28:49 dangerous situation. If they had to physically injure you to prevent you
00:28:56 from sharing the video to their friends, relatives, parents, pastor,
00:29:01 congregationalist, boss, whatever, right? If they had to physically harm you to
00:29:05 prevent you from sharing the video, would they do that? And that just could be
00:29:11 grabbing you and dragging you back from the computer. That could be pushing over
00:29:14 the chair. Would they do it? Would they harm you to avoid revealing their abuses?
00:29:23 Well, of course they would, because they already harmed you by being abusive
00:29:28 before, right?
00:29:39 All right, so let's follow this through to the end. Does this make sense so far?
00:29:46 Are you kind of getting the perspective that's going on in your head? Are you
00:29:49 getting the characters in your head? Because we've got one step further to go.
00:29:56 How are you guys doing? You doing okay? This is fairly intense stuff.
00:30:06 Well, it's intense stuff because it's fair.
00:30:10 I think my mother would take a more sophisticated approach and it would be
00:30:14 as life-ruining as possible. No, stay with the analogy. She's in the room. You're
00:30:19 about to click. What would she do? Oh, sophisticated and there'd be a back... No,
00:30:23 what would she do in the moment to avoid this video getting out? I'm putting her
00:30:29 in the room with you.
00:30:32 Well, this is heavy, but it's about to get lighter.
00:30:36 Now, let's take them outside of the room. Let's take them outside of the room, but
00:30:51 they're on speakerphone and you're telling them what you're doing, right? So
00:30:54 they can't stop you physically. They're on speakerphone and you say, "Mom, Dad, by
00:30:57 the way, I get all these messages from you. I'm not going to be able to get out
00:31:00 of here. Mom, Dad, by the way, I get all these videos of you hitting me, of you
00:31:04 screaming at me, of you neglecting me, of you..." And neglect, I know, is a tough
00:31:07 one, but just imagine you've got something there, right? "...of you assaulting
00:31:10 me, of maybe there's sexual abuse or whatever. I got all, all the video. I'm
00:31:15 about to publish it. I just wanted to let you know. It's going to your parents,
00:31:21 your boss, your co-workers, your family, your like everyone, right? It's going to
00:31:25 your siblings." They're on speakerphone. What do they say? What do they say when
00:31:32 you say, "I'm about to click send." And let's say that you gave them 10 seconds
00:31:39 of the video or something like that. You dropped a 10 second video so they could
00:31:42 see the kind of stuff that was going out. Them screaming or hitting or whatever
00:31:45 they're doing, right? What would they say to you, knowing that they had a very
00:31:53 short window to try and get you to stop sending the video? What would they say?
00:32:02 Yeah, they'd say stop, of course, but... "My parents encouraged drug use at 15, all in
00:32:09 the attempt for me not to talk, right? She would shame, yell, potential physical
00:32:13 violence, attack once I'd left, make calls, pit people against me.
00:32:16 'You're such an idiot, you're making it all up!'"
00:32:20 Right. "They'd bribe, 'You're so ungrateful.' She'd scream, cry, apologize, be hysterical,
00:32:27 threaten.
00:32:29 'You can't! Why are you doing this to us?'" Right.
00:32:37 "Forgive me?" Mmm, that's tough, man. That's tough, because that would be to try
00:32:45 and forgive in an extremity and with no acknowledgement of wrong.
00:32:50 "You're an evil person if you send that." "Where did you get that video?" "Yeah, I had
00:32:57 an anycam, I had a little stuffed toy and I recorded everything." "They tried to get
00:33:05 me to date a single mom." "No, no, no, what would they do in the moment? What's
00:33:09 their long-term strategy?" My god. "Beg forgiveness?" Maybe, that's, that's, but
00:33:18 they wouldn't have time. They need you to not click that in the next 10 seconds.
00:33:25 No, no, they're on speakerphone, sorry. They only have their words to get you to
00:33:30 stop revealing their crimes. "No one's perfect, let it go." No, that's not strong
00:33:34 enough. They need you to not send these videos, absolutely, desperately, and totally.
00:33:38 "What do you want me to do?" "Nope." "You've got 10 seconds." "What are they gonna say?"
00:33:46 "You think you're a Christian, but you don't honor your parents. Jesus wouldn't
00:33:52 like this. You're a bad Christian. You're effing awful. Please don't do this. We're
00:33:57 sorry. What do you think this will do? No one will care. Turn the situation around.
00:34:03 You'll go to hell if you click that button." Well, that's projection, right?
00:34:07 They'll go to hell, right?
00:34:10 "You were a bad kid. What option did we have? They would threaten your children's
00:34:17 lives." Well, that's not shocking, but very extreme, of course. "You don't understand. I
00:34:22 had to do that. Please don't. Let's talk through this." "I think my father would
00:34:29 respond more predictably. He would just yell and slur at me." "You effing asshole. We
00:34:34 will ruin your life if you do this." I think that's probably closer. Like,
00:34:37 there's no time for apologies. There's no time for please. There's no time for
00:34:41 negotiation. When time is short, when time is short, what's the go-to position?
00:34:49 No, when time is short, what is the go-to position? If you've got 10 seconds,
00:34:55 there's no time for negotiation or please or apologies or long-term plans.
00:35:02 Yeah, threats. Yeah, that's right. There's threats, attacks. No, how could you do
00:35:08 that to us? No, that they... It's attacks, it's threats. No, they can't flee. They
00:35:16 can't flee. They have to get you to stop immediately, unquestionably. Well,
00:35:26 initiate the use of force, but they're not in the room in this, like, they're on
00:35:29 speakerphone, right? What would they do? "You're going to ruin our family and ruin
00:35:35 my life. Why are you so vindictive?" No, no, no, no. We're not in the realm of
00:35:39 manipulative self-pity because that's not going to be strong enough to get you
00:35:42 to stop the click. They'd scream verbal abuse. "A threat of equal magnitude to
00:35:48 their consequences." Boom! I'm sorry you got that so deeply, but I'm proud of you
00:35:53 for what it's worth. Yeah, a threat of equal magnitude to their consequences.
00:35:57 Honestly, I'm a pretty good wordsmith. I could not in a thousand years come up
00:36:01 with a better phrase than that. "A threat of equal magnitude to their consequences."
00:36:04 That's right. That's right. I mean, if you had abusive parents, they were willing to
00:36:10 beat you up over dropping a dinner plate. You think destroying their reputation,
00:36:15 what would they do?
00:36:17 "In the shortest time frame with the highest stakes, my mother would go full
00:36:23 Kathy Bates." Yeah, yeah. In the movie "Misery." Yeah. "Change the subject." I don't know
00:36:28 what that means. They certainly wouldn't change the subject. "Desperate hateful
00:36:33 screaming." Yeah, you're gonna effing die if you do that. "You were always a bully." No,
00:36:38 you see, it's not direct enough. They have to get you to stop, and this is not a
00:36:41 conversation. They have to get you to stop, and it's an absolute emergency, and
00:36:46 they have 10 seconds.
00:36:49 "And all of the usual tactics won't work, because you have video." They can't
00:36:58 gaslight you, because you have video. They can't tell you it didn't happen,
00:37:01 because you have video. They can't lie to other people and say it didn't happen,
00:37:06 and you're crazy and a liar, because other people are gonna get the video.
00:37:08 They are gonna be fully exposed, irrevocably, fully exposed. No gas
00:37:15 lighting, no manipulation, none of any of that is possible. They can't lie their way
00:37:19 out of it. They can't manipulate. They can't bully. That's just... right? "Could
00:37:25 bribe." Yeah, that could be the case. That could be the case. But if you say, "There's
00:37:35 no money that will stop me."
00:37:39 "We will kill you. I'll kill you." Threats of violence.
00:37:44 They could bribe, absolutely. "No one will believe you." No, my god, man. Stop. Stop
00:37:51 with the "your history" scenario. Stay with this scenario. You've got video, hours of
00:37:56 video. They're on the videos. Screaming, yelling, hitting, beating, assaulting,
00:38:01 molesting, whatever it is. Others did worse. That's not gonna stop it. I mean,
00:38:08 not that this would ever happen, but if some kid of mine was like, "I'm
00:38:11 just gonna release videos of our interactions." I'd be like, "Okay, people want to see me
00:38:15 make a dad jokes and you rolling your eyes and us playing games." And you know,
00:38:20 today, I did the French Revolution, which was a long time and it felt like an
00:38:25 eternity. And then I went for a nice long walk with my daughter. She picked up some
00:38:31 tofu. I had a little pad thai. And then we went to a candy shop where I didn't buy
00:38:35 anything and she bought a couple of little things. And then we walked around
00:38:38 some more. We were just chatting and then we came home and we played some cards.
00:38:42 And yeah, I mean, good lord. Oh no, video of... right?
00:38:48 Others did worse? No. No, because you've got the video. See, you're going back to
00:39:01 past manipulations and I'm trying to get you to current threats. So video, if
00:39:05 they're severely abusive habits is published and revealed to everyone. Yeah, death
00:39:08 threats and all that, right? If you try to stop me from pushing this button, I will
00:39:12 unleash hell about you all. I don't know. Is that your reply to them? Lots of
00:39:18 blaming. No, they don't have time for blaming. I'm gonna destroy your reputation
00:39:22 and your name. Ask them to let them see the video and let them learn together
00:39:28 from it. I don't understand that. I will never speak to you again if you send
00:39:35 that. I will never support you or give you anything ever. Right. Do you know why?
00:39:43 And look, I don't know your parents, obviously, right? Now, why will the threat
00:39:52 of withholding affection not work in this scenario? Remember, abusive people
00:39:58 are very cunning. They know exactly what they can get away with because they get
00:40:01 away with so much, particularly in families. Why? I'm not sure what you're
00:40:07 referring to, Jared. Why will a threat of withholding affection not work? And
00:40:15 they'll know that.
00:40:17 Every response we've come up with are literally our self-attacks. Bingo! Why
00:40:25 would the threat of "I will never speak to you again and I'll never support you
00:40:28 or give you anything again ever" - why would that not work in this scenario? Why
00:40:32 would parents not?
00:40:35 Because the threat of withholding affection reveals a lack of affection to
00:40:39 begin with? No! Anthony, that's closer, absolutely, best answer so far.
00:40:46 No. All of this. Mmm, God, you guys are good. You're so freaking smart. I'm getting a
00:40:55 sunburn here. Oh, massive brain mega fusion supernova head.
00:41:02 No. The reason why threatening to withhold affection wouldn't work is you
00:41:10 just fucking spent a week editing together all of the abuse they did to
00:41:14 you. You follow? You're not sending videos you haven't reviewed. You've edited them
00:41:21 all down. You've picked out the stuff that is most vivid, most powerful.
00:41:25 You've spent a week or two editing all this stuff down. You've uploaded it. You've
00:41:29 reviewed it. So when you've just got 20 hours of people abusing you and they say
00:41:35 "Well, I'm not gonna be nice to you. I'm gonna withhold my affection from
00:41:40 you." You've just spent weeks reviewing and editing video of them abusing you.
00:41:49 You follow? It's hard to get into this scenario because this is
00:41:56 unraveling your self-attack. It's not self-attack! Do you understand? This is
00:42:02 not a theoretical situation. This is not a theory. This is every day for you, for
00:42:11 me, every day. Every thought, every concern, every anxiety, every worry, every
00:42:18 burden you hold, every lie you tell to hide the crimes.
00:42:24 You think this is a mental exercise? I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh because it's
00:42:34 serious shit, but this is not a mental exercise. Steph, I fear the video will not
00:42:39 ruin their reputation. It will.
00:42:44 It will.
00:42:49 It will ruin their pretense at a reputation.
00:42:56 But there's more. Hit me with a "why" if you're ready for the next part. It's not
00:43:05 anyone else's business. Doesn't matter. If they've claimed to be good parents,
00:43:15 they've already opened up conversations about parenting with other people. Okay,
00:43:18 you ready for the next part?
00:43:21 So you say to your parents, "I've got all this video. I'm gonna send it. It's you
00:43:30 screaming, yelling, abusing. I'm gonna send it to everyone because you've been
00:43:33 telling everyone that I'm crazy and you're great parents, that I'm a problem
00:43:36 and you were great parents. I'm just correcting the record. You opened up this
00:43:39 conversation. I'm just closing it off with actual facts, right?" And they're
00:43:44 screaming at you and they're threatening you and they're yelling at you and
00:43:47 they're, whatever, abusing you and God knows what they're saying in their
00:43:52 panic and their freakout and so on, right?
00:43:56 And then
00:44:08 you can absolutely say, "Mom, Dad,
00:44:13 two things you need to know. Two things you need to know. Number one, I don't
00:44:22 actually have any video. I don't actually have any video. That's number one.
00:44:26 Number two, I'm live streaming this to the family.
00:44:31 And I've recorded this. This is the video.
00:44:42 You screaming abuse at me, threatening to harm me, assault me, kill me, threaten,
00:44:46 destroy my reputation. I mean, sorry, I don't actually have any video from
00:44:51 the past, but I'm actually live streaming this to the family and I'm
00:45:00 recording it and now this is the video I'm gonna send.
00:45:07 Twist, baby! Now I fudged that a little by saying you spent weeks working on it. I get
00:45:14 that, right? So please understand I'm not M. Night Shymyle in here, but that's the
00:45:18 twist, right? That's not video. I just wanted you to believe that there was so
00:45:23 that you could reveal yourself on this live stream.
00:45:27 Boom! Right?
00:45:35 Yeah, they're admitting they know it's wrong when they threaten you for
00:45:39 exposing them. Got their conscience at that point.
00:45:43 Like a cop lying in an interrogation to get a confession. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, your
00:45:51 partner's already confessed and he's gonna get good time, but if you confess
00:45:54 you can get good time.
00:45:57 Now, did you feel the little flash of victory here? Gotcha, you manipulative SOBs.
00:46:13 Probably quite literally S&D OBs. You felt that little flash of "ah, for once
00:46:21 the children win." Yeah, we have footage of you robbing the bank, so just stop
00:46:27 lying and admit it.
00:46:30 You know that falsehood is often a way to get to the truth, right? I mean, I've
00:46:48 written some really great and powerful truths in my novels and they're all
00:46:53 falsehoods. Do you realize this whole scenario is a falsehood which is a
00:46:58 great fucking truth, is it not?
00:47:02 You're not attacking yourself. You're being attacked to shut you the fuck up
00:47:12 because you witnessed thousands of crimes over many, many, many years. You
00:47:20 feel emotional? This is great, yeah. In lies there is truth sometimes.
00:47:29 You're not self-attacking at all. You're just the witness to an attempted murder
00:47:38 of the soul.
00:47:41 Oh, Evan, dissociating. Would the world be a better place if everything was recorded?
00:47:52 Stay with your feelings, man. Don't go theoretical on me, bro. Don't dematerialize.
00:47:57 Don't despawn. Don't intellectualize. Don't philosophize. Stay with this.
00:48:09 I'm not suggesting you do anything. This is just a mental exercise. I have no idea
00:48:13 what you should do with your family and recording people without their
00:48:17 permission can break the law, so I'm not giving you absolutely any advice on what
00:48:21 to do. This is absolutely a mental construct, right? How do you stop
00:48:27 self-attacking though, Steph? Oh my god, really? Oh my gosh.
00:48:38 Oh, the rubber bones. I just spent 40 minutes telling you it's not self-attack.
00:48:46 Yes, but how do I stop self-attacking? Oh my gosh. Your abusers are attacking the
00:48:58 conversation by making you pretend to play dumb, right?
00:49:06 [sigh]
00:49:08 Damn, if that didn't throw the inner parental voice for a loop really
00:49:19 revealed its presence. Thank you.
00:49:22 I was doing great for a long time, so someone and I was assaulted six weeks
00:49:30 ago, minor assault, and I spiraled into sept-destruction? Self-destruction, I
00:49:36 assume that is. I tried to resist but it's taking time for me to claw my way
00:49:39 back. I'd say I'm like 70% recovered. Right. Who's ordering you to be in a
00:49:44 situation where you get assaulted?
00:49:48 Person says, "I wasn't trying to play dumb. I can't stop the bad thoughts." No, you
00:49:58 were. You were. I mean, you're not dumb. You're here, right? Top 1% of
00:50:01 intelligence I grant to everyone here. You're not. But you are trying to play
00:50:05 dumb. Because if I make an entire lengthy speech about how it's not self-attack
00:50:11 and then you say, "But how do I stop self-attacking?" Who's attacking you?
00:50:15 Dormaster, who is attacking you and why? Should be a short movie. That would be a
00:50:22 pretty funny short movie. It would be a great way to get pursued through the
00:50:27 streets by angry parents with pitchforks.
00:50:30 Why do you have bad thoughts? Why do you attack yourself? You don't attack
00:50:39 yourself. Attacking yourself, saying I self-attack, is another way your parents
00:50:46 attack you. Ellen, hang on, hang on. Let's not make it about you. A lot of people
00:50:52 getting value out of this conversation. I got your question. We'll get there.
00:50:57 I just self-attack. You understand, that's another attack from outside, saying that
00:51:01 you just self-attack. I just wake up in the morning and I just scream at myself.
00:51:04 I don't know why. I just self-attack. I just, I don't know what's wrong with me.
00:51:15 Heaven, you can't stop self-attacking because you're not self-attacking.
00:51:22 All right, hit me with a why if you had an older brother, or have. Hit me with a why.
00:51:34 You're feeling instant relief? Yes, good, good. I told you I'd get you there.
00:51:38 Trust in me. Oh, sorry about that note. Do you have an older brother, or it could be
00:51:46 an older sister, probably an older brother. Usually it's an older brother.
00:51:49 All right, hit me with a B, hit me with a B, if your older brother ever
00:51:58 grabbed your hand, used it to hit you, and said stop hitting yourself.
00:52:01 Right, just, you know, used your hand to hit you and said stop hitting yourself.
00:52:05 Hit me with a B, hit me with a B if that ever happened.
00:52:10 Pretty common, at least it was when I was growing up. Yeah, it's the kind of thing, right?
00:52:18 Hey, stop hitting yourself, man. LOL, yeah, oh, so LOL. Right, okay, so
00:52:28 you understand the analogy here, right? So a family member is grabbing your hand,
00:52:33 using it to punch you, and saying stop hitting yourself. B, B, B. Right.
00:52:40 Bad to the bone. I got in a physical fight over stuff like that. Yeah, for sure. For sure.
00:52:48 Yeah, you've probably seen it. Stop hitting yourself, right? So this is self-attack.
00:52:56 Now, if you were to get older, and your brother would grab your hand and use it to hit you,
00:53:00 and say stop hitting yourself, and you'd get older, and you'd say, you know, when I was younger,
00:53:03 I had this weird habit, like I just, I just started hitting myself for no reason. I must have been
00:53:08 weird. I must have been trying to punish myself. I just would stop beating up on myself, fight
00:53:12 club style, like for no reason. All gendered bad siblings did it, I'd say. Yeah, yeah.
00:53:18 Or you get an older brother who comes and sits his fat ass on you on the couch, and then says,
00:53:25 you should get up, man, you look uncomfortable. Why don't you get up? You should just get up.
00:53:29 You don't look, can you even breathe? You don't look comfortable. And he's just
00:53:32 squalling all over you Jabba the Hutt style, right? You get this
00:53:35 shit all the time with dysfunctional siblings, right?
00:53:37 I could tell some tales, but I won't. I could tell endless tales of this kind of stuff.
00:53:53 But we all understand it, right? Well, you know, I would just sit on the couch,
00:53:58 even though I was really uncomfortable and couldn't even breathe. I would just sit on
00:54:01 the couch. I don't know why I wouldn't get up. Well, maybe because you got a fat ass on your
00:54:05 chest, right? I mean, dysfunctional siblings mess with your sleep, they mess with your food,
00:54:19 they mess with your health, they mess with your, I mean, everything, right?
00:54:29 So if you had a sibling who grabbed your hand, hit you with it and said, "Stop hitting yourself,"
00:54:36 do you sit there when you're older and say, "I just would hit myself as a kid."
00:54:42 And I would go through this whole 40 minute—this is why I was a little frustrated, right? That's
00:54:51 why I said you're playing dumb, right? Because I go through this whole 40 minute explanation of,
00:54:55 "No, no, no, you weren't hitting yourself, right? You weren't hitting yourself, you were being hit
00:54:59 by your brother who was claiming you were hitting yourself, right? So you weren't hitting yourself,
00:55:03 right?" And then you immediately come back with, after my 40 minute explanation,
00:55:10 you immediately come back with, "But yeah, but why did I hit myself as a kid?
00:55:13 Well, I'm not playing dumb, like, I just don't understand. Why would I hit myself as a kid?
00:55:18 It makes no sense. I just did 40 minutes on, 'It was your brother doing this,' right?"
00:55:22 [Clears throat]
00:55:28 Playing dumb doesn't work here. It never does, it never will. Never, ever allow yourself to
00:55:33 play dumb. Never allow yourself to say, "I don't know," about your own life and your own history.
00:55:39 Never, ever, ever play dumb. Never give yourself the out—which, in fact, is just giving other
00:55:44 people out—never give people the out of blanking out, of gassing out in your head, of despawning
00:55:51 your thoughts and memories, and, "Well, I don't know, I don't understand." Don't give yourself
00:55:55 that. Don't gaslight yourself with fog, right? Thank you. Welcome, and thank you for the tip.
00:56:03 I appreciate that.
00:56:04 You're not attacking yourself.
00:56:19 You're being silenced by criminals.
00:56:21 No. We're talking about self-attack.
00:56:27 You're trying to avoid the Witness Protection Program. And what is the Witness Protection
00:56:39 Program in this analogy? In the analogy of having witnessed crimes and knowing criminals,
00:56:43 and having the capacity to reveal their crimes at any time, what is the Witness Protection Program
00:56:49 in this analogy?
00:56:50 Lola. How do the Kinks open their shows in Los Angeles? How do the Kinks open their shows in
00:57:03 Los Angeles? LOLA! Boy, there's a 60s joke. Actually, there—this is so good, it's unreal.
00:57:13 Oh, it's very real. And you're right. This is why I say this is the best show that will ever be.
00:57:21 So, the self-abuse is fulfilling the wishes of your abusers.
00:57:37 Self-abuse is four words and four words only.
00:57:43 Self-abuse is four words and four words only. Anybody want to guess what they are?
00:57:50 Self-abuse is four words and four words only. See, I need 40 minutes to tell you four words,
00:57:57 but it's a thing, right? Self-abuse is four words and four words only.
00:58:01 [Silence]
00:58:11 What is it? Shut the F up.
00:58:15 Somewhat.
00:58:18 Four words is the essence of what you refer to as self-attack.
00:58:29 Are you ready? Hit me with a "Y" if you're ready. Last Velcro off.
00:58:32 Are you ready? Now, the camera recording is different from the camera broadcasting.
00:58:41 All right. By the way, y'all, I'm still donating the value of the likes on this stream. Now,
00:58:48 this is the donation where you say, "How much am I worth? How much are you worth? How much are
00:58:52 you worth to have this release from you?" Okay. What you call self-attack is a constant threat
00:59:02 in your head, criminals saying to you, "You talk, you die. You talk, you die. You talk, you die."
00:59:17 Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong. You talk, you die. You talk, you die.
00:59:24 It's living under the constant threat of violence
00:59:32 for being real, of violence for honesty, of violence for truth, of violence for speaking
00:59:39 your mind, of violence for telling your history, of violence for revealing your abuse. You talk,
00:59:44 you die. How does the stream have fewer likes than the broken stream before it even started?
00:59:54 Who knows? Yeah, you talk, you die. Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches.
01:00:00 What do criminals do with witnesses? They threaten them with death.
01:00:14 You can also look at it like loan sharks. What do loan sharks say?
01:00:16 "Pay us the money or we break your kneecaps. If you resist that, we'll just kill you."
01:00:39 I always know when I'm getting really close to a core truth because people dissociate and get
01:00:47 intellectual and ask, "Why do children universally experience this, that, and the other? It's
01:00:51 criminality." We can also do five words if you like. If you like, what do you know?
01:01:09 You know what the hell I'm going to say. Do re mi. We can do five words.
01:01:14 [silence]
01:01:23 And it's a very real thing. This is part of what you call self-attack, right? Are you ready for
01:01:29 the five words that characterize what you call self-attack? Here we go. Here we go. Satellite
01:01:34 radio, you all get hit with the boom, boom. Only one truth can survive. Only one truth will survive.
01:01:45 Do you follow? Only one truth will survive,
01:01:51 our truth or your truth, but we ain't both coming out of this room alive. Only one truth can survive.
01:02:03 Thanks, Dormaster. I appreciate you coming by. Go get some sleep. 3.30 AM for you. Please go
01:02:07 get some sleep. Sorry it was such a late show tonight. There can be only one. Only one truth
01:02:17 will survive. And this is, it's you or us. Two truths go into the wrestling room. Only one
01:02:36 will emerge. Five, two, one, baby. One in five. Yeah. No one here gets out alive.
01:02:46 [silence]
01:02:53 It's not self-attack. Please don't insult yourself. I'm sorry. Don't
01:02:56 mean to laugh. Don't insult yourself. It's not self-attack. It's not self-attack.
01:03:04 You know, I witnessed a murder and I'm very much afraid that I'm going to
01:03:07 shoot myself three times in the back of the head. I don't know why I would do,
01:03:12 I'm just going to shoot myself in the back of the head. I don't know why.
01:03:15 [silence]
01:03:26 Yeah, I witnessed three guys rape a girl and I just have this weird feeling I'm just going to
01:03:31 drag myself up to the top of the roof by my shirt collar and just throw myself off. I don't know
01:03:37 why. I mean, I just do this out of nowhere. It's bizarre. Do you see how insane that sounds?
01:03:44 [silence]
01:03:49 I have information that could lead to the arrest of... right.
01:03:52 [silence]
01:03:58 I saw my neighbor burying a body. He saw me watching him bury the body.
01:04:03 [silence]
01:04:06 I just feel like I'm going to cut the brakes on my own car for some reason.
01:04:10 [silence]
01:04:18 Steph, I appreciate how you walk people through the thought process instead of
01:04:21 just giving the answer right away. Sure, yeah. I mean, you gotta...
01:04:25 [silence]
01:04:28 You gotta get people out of the theater, out of the cave. Like, you ever do this thing where
01:04:33 you watch... oh gosh, I remember I watched two movies. One of them was, I think, called City
01:04:39 Hall with John Cusack. Completely forgettable movie. There was some other movie. For some
01:04:42 reason, I can't honestly remember many, many years ago, I watched two movies, like,
01:04:47 noon and 2 p.m. or whatever. I can't remember why. And of course, you know, you come out and the sun...
01:04:51 [sound of a man screaming]
01:04:53 You can see every spot that's ever existed from the womb onwards in your eyeballs or whatever.
01:04:58 So you're pulling people out of the cave, you gotta take it step by step. You can't just
01:05:02 yank them out and throw them into the heart of the sun, right?
01:05:04 [silence]
01:05:15 Self-attack. Without that step through, I wouldn't have got that emotional reaction with the twist.
01:05:20 And that's why, and again, so thanks Bethany, I appreciate it, that's why I keep dragging people
01:05:24 back into the scenario. Because if you don't stay in the scenario, you can't get the payoff.
01:05:28 Because then you're just thinking outside, right? Because you understand, how much do your parents,
01:05:33 if your parents were abusive, how much did they want you to go through that scenario? How much
01:05:36 did they want you to stop self-attacking? Because you're not self-attacking. You're not self-attacking!
01:05:42 [laughs]
01:05:46 It's not self-attack.
01:05:47 [silence]
01:05:50 Self-criticism, yes, because that's yourself wanting to improve.
01:05:53 [silence]
01:05:54 No better place to be on a Friday night.
01:05:56 [silence]
01:05:57 Or any night I choose to live stream Cheesy Cheese, thank you very much.
01:06:00 [silence]
01:06:01 Cusack was in a number of films in the 90s.
01:06:03 [silence]
01:06:03 Yeah, then he went kind of Titanic and mental.
01:06:05 [silence]
01:06:06 Yeah, that kid, uh, that kid went, uh, truly off, right?
01:06:11 [silence]
01:06:12 As usual, Steph, this was gold, thank you, I appreciate that.
01:06:15 [silence]
01:06:22 Now... [laughs]
01:06:24 [sighs]
01:06:30 Are you ready for one more?
01:06:31 [silence]
01:06:37 This is like a, uh, little thing, you know, like the little video they show at the end of the credits.
01:06:43 [silence]
01:06:44 You ready for one more?
01:06:45 [silence]
01:06:51 Alright.
01:06:51 [silence]
01:06:57 Have you ever noticed that parents who constantly criticize children want to stay in touch with them a lot?
01:07:01 [silence]
01:07:05 Parents who seem to have nothing good to say about kids, their own kids,
01:07:08 they just, you know, want to check, want to call, they want to come over, they want to see you,
01:07:11 they, right? Do you know why they do that?
01:07:13 [silence]
01:07:15 I mean, you know, if I've got a lot of criticisms of people, I don't hang out with them, right?
01:07:21 [silence]
01:07:21 Yeah, why do parents who don't seem to like you or have much positive stuff to say about
01:07:26 you or family members as a whole, why do they want to see you?
01:07:35 [silence]
01:07:37 Right? Why do they want to keep, why, why do they keep jacking up on you?
01:07:40 Why do they want to see you all the time?
01:07:41 I phone you, see how you're doing, coming over, blah, blah, blah, right?
01:07:44 [silence]
01:07:49 Why?
01:07:49 [silence]
01:07:54 So they can continue tearing you down.
01:07:56 Eh, maybe.
01:07:56 [silence]
01:07:58 Maybe.
01:07:59 [silence]
01:08:02 Yeah.
01:08:03 [silence]
01:08:12 If you saw a crime, you saw Bob assault someone, beat someone up, do something worse,
01:08:23 and Bob drops by once in a while and says, "Yeah, just, you know, coming to see how you're doing,
01:08:27 coming to, you know, check up on you and, you know, just wanted to, you know, maybe you can
01:08:32 make me some tea and we can hang for a few minutes. What's Bob doing?"
01:08:36 "What's Bob doing?"
01:08:38 [silence]
01:08:41 "Yeah."
01:08:41 [silence]
01:08:42 Make sure you're keeping the fuck quiet and to remind you, to remind you to keep the fuck
01:08:48 quiet, right? Again, tell me if I'm wrong. I'm happy to hear if I'm incorrect.
01:08:52 [silence]
01:08:55 You still keeping your mouth shut there, Sonny?
01:08:57 [silence]
01:08:58 You still doing the wise thing? You still doing the right thing?
01:09:01 [silence]
01:09:05 Yeah, it could be bribery. It could be any number of things. But no, they need to know that their
01:09:13 secret is staying safe. That's what they need to know. They need to know that their secret
01:09:17 is staying safe.
01:09:20 [silence]
01:09:25 They also, and how do they know? How do they know whether their secret is still safe? How
01:09:31 do they know? What do they do to find out if you're still gonna keep quiet? How do they know?
01:09:41 [silence]
01:09:50 These aren't awkward pauses. They're just pauses. If you're still self-attacking or censoring,
01:09:55 Chris, I will come over there and I will rip that word out of your filthy mouth.
01:10:01 You're not self-attacking. You're not self-attacking.
01:10:05 [silence]
01:10:10 Get my wife's name out of here. That's fine. I appreciate it. I'm just kidding, right?
01:10:13 [silence]
01:10:15 It's tough to change.
01:10:16 [silence]
01:10:20 Yeah, they pace you. So what they do is they come over and they try the old shit and see if it still
01:10:25 works. They try a couple of put-downs. They try a couple of insults. And just make sure that shit
01:10:31 still works. Because if it still works, they're safe. Right? If it still works, they're safe.
01:10:42 That make sense? Do that shit over again. Over and over and over. Just come in and
01:10:51 keep pressing the bruises. Make sure they're still bruises. Right?
01:10:54 [silence]
01:11:04 They see if you're still too self-attack.
01:11:06 [silence]
01:11:09 Ginger! Joe! Stop it! It's not self-attack.
01:11:12 [silence]
01:11:21 Hey, is all the old trick still working? Is this mechanic still working? Is our secret safe?
01:11:26 Is the crime never going to be revealed? Is the crime never going to be committed?
01:11:29 [silence]
01:11:40 Do you understand why the world went apeshit on me? Right? Like it literally went apeshit. Right?
01:11:44 You know why the world went apeshit on me. Right? I mean, I do. Do you know? You know why, right?
01:11:48 [silence]
01:11:51 The world is largely composed of criminals, or criminals to be.
01:11:57 [silence]
01:12:05 Facts. Straight up facts. Anyone who doubts that over the last couple of years was obviously living in a cave.
01:12:11 [silence]
01:12:26 I mean, one of the gravest crimes that I was convicted of, so to speak, was saying to you,
01:12:33 and to the whole world, and to tens of millions of people, "It's not your fault that you were hurt,
01:12:42 and you don't have to lie about being a victim of crime.
01:12:45 It's not your fault you were hurt as a child, and you don't have to lie about being
01:12:51 the victim of a crime. You don't have to falsify and pretend everything is fine
01:12:59 when you were the victim of a grievous crime."
01:13:03 [silence]
01:13:11 And I did it in a way that was not bombastic, or hysterical, or weird, or bizarre. It was
01:13:20 a very normalcy. Look, when I'm talking about these things, do I come across as crazy, unhinged,
01:13:26 weird, and disturbed? I'm not like, "Hello, darkness, my old friend." I'm not doing it.
01:13:33 It's just straight up facts, right? I'm not raging. I mean, I'm passionate, of course,
01:13:40 and I'm excited, and I'm interested, and I'm deep, and I'm emotional at times, but it's not crazy stuff, right?
01:13:45 [silence]
01:13:52 It was the normalcy. I remember many years ago, someone in the media who shall remain nameless
01:13:59 said to me, he said, "The strangest thing about you is how not strange all of the things you say are."
01:14:06 [silence]
01:14:08 You know, there are some people, you know, like, I mean, Alex Jones is very bombastic and so on,
01:14:14 and you know, I certainly have my moments and all of that, but I'm just, you know, I don't feel weird
01:14:18 about any of this stuff, and that's what's so strange to people. Like, I talk about this stuff,
01:14:23 I don't feel threatened by it, I don't feel weird about it, it's, I'm just telling you the facts
01:14:27 as I see them and making it hopefully a good case, right?
01:14:30 [silence]
01:14:40 And that's one of the things that's very strange, is normally people who are dealing with very dark
01:14:44 topics end up dark or weird themselves, right? But I, Nietzsche is useful as sort of fortune
01:14:51 cookie aphorism stuff, but I'll tell you one of the Nietzsche quotes that,
01:14:58 [silence]
01:15:01 I'm going to get it correct, right? I want to get it correct.
01:15:03 [silence]
01:15:07 It was a good, it was a good quote, and it had a huge impact me, a huge impact me,
01:15:11 on me when I was a kid, right? And it said, he said, "Beware that when fighting monsters,
01:15:18 you yourself do not become a monster. But when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also
01:15:27 into you. Beware that when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster."
01:15:33 [silence]
01:15:39 To really jump from Nietzsche to Jurassic Park, that guy in the first Jurassic Park,
01:15:46 I think he's Australian or something like that, and he's out there hunting the dinosaurs,
01:15:52 and then the dinosaur sneaks up and he says, "Ah, clever girl," right? And then, "Hah!" Right?
01:15:56 What do you mean, clever girl? He wants to die? He wants to die?
01:16:00 [silence]
01:16:04 So, yeah, I want to stare into the heart of darkness. I want to do what I can to help as
01:16:11 many people as I can to escape violence and crime and degradation and humiliation and all of that.
01:16:17 [silence]
01:16:20 But I'm willing to look deep into monsters, but not at the expense of my own humanity.
01:16:27 I'm willing to wrestle evil, but not at the expense of my own sanity.
01:16:32 [silence]
01:16:35 Calvin, nice to see you. "Hey, Steph, thanks for the truth bombs. Also, little update.
01:16:38 I was a caller a few Sundays back for seven years alone. I've got two appointments before
01:16:42 therapy next week." Beautiful man. Congratulations. Well done. Well done. Well done.
01:16:47 [silence]
01:16:52 If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. Abyss is the wrong word there.
01:16:57 [silence]
01:16:59 If you explore evil, evil also explores you, is the way that I would put it. If you go exploring
01:17:05 evil, evil will also explore you, looking for a fish, a crack, a way to get in and infest you.
01:17:09 [silence]
01:17:13 If you fight a virus, the virus fights your immune system, tries to get past.
01:17:18 [silence]
01:17:20 No, because I don't want... Yeah, like in Nefarious, I don't want the pursuit of virtue,
01:17:28 which is inevitably the opposition to evil, to be ugly or different, right?
01:17:33 [silence]
01:17:35 You differed from so many other philosophers online. You got at the family, juxtaposed that
01:17:39 against individuals like Rationality Rules, who would waste your entire life on sophistry and
01:17:43 midwittery. It feels healthy the way you express your information. Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:51 [silence]
01:17:58 For whatever reason...
01:17:59 [silence]
01:18:03 I don't know. I'm always loathe to expose deepest thoughts for fear that it could be used against me,
01:18:08 but I'll err on the side of a lack of caution.
01:18:13 [silence]
01:18:20 Evil doesn't really scare me.
01:18:22 [silence]
01:18:26 And it's funny, you know, because in that I have, I think, something a lot closer to what
01:18:29 Christians have. And the Christians are not that afraid of evil because they recognize its
01:18:33 inevitability and you're going to be persecuted, right? You're going to be persecuted for doing
01:18:39 good. That's the foundation of the religion. And of course, they expect it and they're honored
01:18:45 by it and it gets them to heaven, right?
01:18:46 [silence]
01:18:51 Stephen Woodward? Is that Rationality Rules? I don't even know what he's doing. We had,
01:18:58 I think I did a couple of videos on his videos. We did a debate, I think, on UPB where he admitted
01:19:03 that rape, theft, assault, and murder could never be UPB. But I don't know what he's doing.
01:19:09 Is he still doing... Oh, how did he do on COVID? How did... Oh, good old... I haven't
01:19:16 thought of him in forever, but how did good old Rationality Rules do on COVID? That was
01:19:20 the big acid test for me. Like COVID and the vaccine, like that was the big acid test.
01:19:24 Right? The number of people who failed that test is appalling. It's just appalling. It wasn't even
01:19:31 a complicated test. I'm sorry to be in love. It wasn't. How did he do on COVID? Because he's all
01:19:37 about the science. He's a science guy, right?
01:19:38 [silence]
01:19:42 Anyway, it doesn't matter. I mean, I'm probably not going to... But no, that's the big acid test.
01:19:47 And it's not even... Oh, he sided with the regime. So, and it's not even... If you got things wrong
01:19:52 on COVID, okay, whatever, right? That sucks. And if you got things wrong on COVID and you got things
01:19:58 wrong on the vaccine, then the problem is that should provoke a crisis of self-examination.
01:20:08 Right? It should provoke a crisis of self-examination, which is how on earth could
01:20:12 I have gotten it so wrong? Right? It's like, you know, what did I say about, I don't know,
01:20:17 George Floyd, right? George Floyd, I had cops on and we talked about it and it's like,
01:20:23 yeah, no, he didn't seem to die from the knee. Oh, look what they just revealed now, and Chauvin
01:20:29 is trying to overturn his conviction based upon this, that he didn't die from the knee.
01:20:33 He didn't die from asphyxiation, right? So, if you get major things wrong,
01:20:38 you know, what did I say? I said, with Trump in office, there would be no wars because he's a
01:20:46 builder. There will be no wars and there were no wars. I mean, I don't get everything right,
01:20:52 obviously. I mean, it's a ridiculous thing to say, to even think that I would get everything
01:20:55 right, but in the major things I've done very well, very well. And if you have
01:21:02 gotten something catastrophically wrong, then there should be a fair amount of humility and
01:21:07 self-examination to say, oh my gosh, how did I get this so wrong? Anyone who stayed on YouTube, yeah,
01:21:17 I mean, YouTube was, I think to stay on YouTube, you had to side with the regime. It's just
01:21:24 the way that it is. Oh yeah, I mean, occasionally I go through the list of things I got right,
01:21:35 and it's pretty long. "E long, e long, baby, e long." I actually got a really good message
01:21:42 about, oh man, it was the best message I've got so far about getting back on Twitter, and it was
01:21:48 like, ooh, that's a good argument. That is a good argument. I was like, mm, daddy can taste the
01:22:00 reason dripping like wasabi off that one. I don't know, are you interested? Do you want to hear the
01:22:08 argument? Oh gosh, where did I get it? Where did I receive that argument? No, okay. I can't find it,
01:22:16 but I remember it fairly well, so I will get it. Yeah, so it was not consequentialism. So the
01:22:23 argument went something like this. Elon Musk has sacrificed tens of billions of dollars,
01:22:29 his reputation, he's fighting an incredible fight, he's opened things up to the free market of ideas,
01:22:35 and you're holding off for an apology that legally he cannot make, because to have an apology for
01:22:42 lying about you or whatever would be to expose himself to legal liability, he wouldn't be allowed
01:22:47 to do it, it would be fiduciary misconduct. So he's up there heroically fighting, and you,
01:22:52 for some principle that can't possibly be achieved, are holding off and letting him take all
01:22:58 these bullets when you could be up there fighting the good fight. And he's doing all this risk,
01:23:02 and he's surrendered a huge amount of money and time and peace of mind. And look at him in Lex
01:23:07 Friedman's podcast, he's very sad and says, "Most people think they want to be me, but they don't
01:23:10 really want to be me." And he's heroically stepping forward front and center to open up free speech,
01:23:15 he's restored your account, and you're just holding off for some fairly petty requirement
01:23:21 that you know can't be satisfied, and if you don't want to do it, just say so, but if you
01:23:24 do want to do it, don't just make up some impossible rule that people can't satisfy.
01:23:29 Does that sort of make sense? Yeah, it is a good... It's not consequentialist, it's
01:23:36 somebody's doing something brave and heroic and needs your help, and in a sense, you were abandoned
01:23:44 and you didn't like it, why would you abandon someone who's taking such a good argument and
01:23:50 a good stand, right? Does it seem compelling to you? Hit me with a "why" if it seems compelling.
01:23:55 I mean, yeah, I thought it was a pretty good argument, because it arouses the warrior hero
01:24:00 in me who wants to not abandon others on the field of blah blah blah blah blah, right?
01:24:03 And it wasn't consequentialist, and it wasn't all of that, right? You're not going back to
01:24:07 Twitter, you're joining X. But yeah, and it was respectful, not that that's essential, but it
01:24:15 helps, and it was passionate, and it was evocative, and yeah, it was just really... It was a really
01:24:21 good message. Yeah, honestly, good argument. A good, and I really appreciate, I mean, the fact
01:24:31 that it's a thought-provoking argument with an angle I hadn't thought of before. I don't want
01:24:35 to sound... Well, I haven't thought of it, it's brilliant, but it's a really, really good argument.
01:24:41 As far as the counter-argument goes...
01:24:47 Would it break fiduciary duty to apologize in private?
01:24:54 I don't know. It's funny, you know, I don't... Do you feel like anything is private anymore?
01:25:01 I mean, unless people are going through a body scanner and leaving everything behind,
01:25:04 do you feel like... Isn't everyone concerned that everything's being recorded, every message,
01:25:10 every email, every... Someone's got... Does anything feel private anymore? I don't know about that
01:25:15 anymore. I mean, even when I used to go and give speeches and so on, I'd be like, "Yeah, well,
01:25:19 someone could be recording even just a private conversation, and I'm not going to be like,
01:25:23 'Turn in your phones and put them in a whatever box,' or whatever it is, right?"
01:25:27 So... Yeah, so I don't know that he would do that, right?
01:25:34 And Elon is certainly taking some risks these days. I mean, especially these days, right? So
01:25:43 it's very interesting.
01:25:44 The Twitter files revealed that intelligence agencies were viewing people's DMs on Twitter.
01:25:54 Yeah. Yeah, the Faraday cage. That's the one I was thinking of. I have the one that,
01:25:58 you know, "Please clean your phones. They have more bacteria on them than toilet seats." And we
01:26:02 put them up to our face. But yeah, Faraday cage. You can get little UV light things that
01:26:06 just blast them and clean them up. My opinion, probably worth it.
01:26:10 Well, I mean, I've always communicated as if some judge is looking over my shoulder. I mean,
01:26:17 that's just been from the very beginning. It's not paranoia. It's just... I mean,
01:26:19 it's kind of drilled into me in the business world. As an executive and a board member,
01:26:24 you have to... I mean, you just... You can't put anything down in writing. You know,
01:26:28 there's lots of business people who just won't do emails at all, because they say it just...
01:26:31 It always ends up in court. The stuff people write, it's just amazing to me. The stuff people
01:26:38 write down, like it's, "Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, no problem. Let's write it down." It's like,
01:26:42 "It's private." No, it's not. So I don't know that a private whatever... I mean,
01:26:50 I would certainly appreciate it. I would certainly appreciate it. But you know,
01:26:54 I'm obviously a busy guy. He doesn't probably even know that I exist. So
01:26:57 that's why FTX used Signal. Is Signal secure? I don't even know. Is Signal secure?
01:27:04 I mean, they used it, but... And no matter what's secure, somebody can just take a picture of
01:27:12 somebody can just take a picture. I give them, it's that proof. I don't know. But somebody can
01:27:15 just take a picture of the screen. I don't know. People think, "Oh, it's a shelf-threading thing.
01:27:18 It's going to..." Right? I don't know. But yeah, I just... We've got this incredible conversation
01:27:25 ability, and I think, I assume just in general, that means that nothing is private. And I mean,
01:27:32 I wish that wasn't that trade-off, but it's worth it nonetheless for me as a whole.
01:27:38 Now, I mean, counter-arguments, there are some that are practical. Elon Musk obviously is
01:27:44 infinitely wealthier than I am, and Elon Musk can afford all kinds of security, and Elon Musk
01:27:51 is surrounded by an infinity of lawyers and all that kind of stuff. So
01:27:57 CBDC will make it worse. No privacy at all with money. Oh yeah, CBDCs get in, it's all over. Yeah,
01:28:04 it was a great run. It was a great... The Age of Reason will probably not return for...
01:28:08 Honestly, I remember reading a book many, many years ago that was theorizing that the government
01:28:13 in 1984 lasted 7,000 years. I can kind of see that. I can kind of see that. Yeah,
01:28:18 I mean, that's a level of control that we'll not leave behind.
01:28:24 Definitely not. Oh, it's not... Signal is not secure, especially on SM platforms.
01:28:31 I don't know what SM means. Small to medium platforms?
01:28:35 Yeah, satellites surrounding the world as security.
01:28:39 I have a very great admiration for some of what Elon Musk is doing as a whole.
01:28:56 Signal is secure, TMU, to my understanding. All the libertarians around here, they all use Signal.
01:29:03 I don't think Telegram is as much, but I think Signal is. All right, any last questions or
01:29:09 comments? Tell me how helpful and how useful was this conversation about self-attack. Please do
01:29:14 not refer to it as self-attack. I know, I just referred to it as self-attack. Sorry, I'll punch
01:29:19 myself, but it'll be my brother. Please don't refer to it as self-attack. It's threats to keep
01:29:28 the crimes to yourself. It's threats to keep the crimes to yourself. Keep quiet or die. It's not
01:29:38 self-attack. The only real privacy you have is in the trust in your relationships, right?
01:29:46 The only real sort of privacy you have is the trust in your relationships.
01:29:49 Naomi Reckwell recommends Signal. Oh, is that right? Yeah.
01:29:53 All right, last questions, comments? Very helpful talk. Well, I hope so. And listen,
01:30:00 you might need to think about this more than once. You might want to write it down. Just because you
01:30:04 hear something and you feel the burden, you ever have this, you hear something like, "Oh, I feel
01:30:07 a burden is lifted," and then what happens is it slowly settles back down. You kick up the mud
01:30:14 in a lake and then it sort of goes back down over time. It's just something you need to remind
01:30:18 yourself of, because you're reminded constantly the other direction. So you just need to remind
01:30:23 yourself back to not use the term self-attack, but witness intimidation. Does that make sense?
01:30:33 The phrase that I use in my head, it's not self-attack, but it's witness intimidation.
01:30:41 Why are you up so late today? I was planning on doing something with my daughter.
01:30:45 It didn't end up working out, which is why I switched it from seven to nine.
01:30:48 And I tell you, I was kind of wiped after the... I did like two hours almost on the finishing up the
01:30:55 French Revolution presentation today, and I was just wiped. It took everything I had. But I think
01:31:01 it also helped me inform, it helped to inform the sort of conversation tonight. So yeah, "Oh,
01:31:06 I'm attacking myself." No, it's just witness intimidation. I'm the witness to a crime and I'm
01:31:09 being intimidated into silence. So just witness intimidation, that's all it is.
01:31:13 Naomi Brockwell, that's right. It's just witness intimidation. Yeah, okay,
01:31:20 they're just threatening me to keep the crime silent. I get it. "Oh, you're such a..." No,
01:31:25 no. Okay, got it. Yeah, I got a threat from the criminal to keep the crime to myself.
01:31:31 Witness intimidation, that's all it is. You witnessed thousands of crimes over decades,
01:31:36 probably. And yeah, you witnessed a crime and you're being threatened into silence.
01:31:42 You don't self-attack at that point, right? I'm so stupid because I'm being threatened because
01:31:48 I accidentally saw a crime, right? You weren't out there looking for crimes, you're not Batman.
01:31:51 It's just witness intimidation, that's all it is. I mean, doesn't that help? It's not pathological.
01:31:58 This is why I don't self-attack. It's like, yeah, I mean, people... Newsflash, criminals don't want
01:32:05 their crimes revealed and will intimidate people. I mean, you get it, right? But we all know this.
01:32:11 This is how criminals operate. This is how they work. If you found this helpful and you haven't
01:32:14 donated, come on, man. Come on, brother. Come on. Tell me this isn't a massive life-changing
01:32:21 series of arguments. Come on. If this doesn't release you, that's on you. Like, now you know,
01:32:30 right? If you don't drive where the GPS tells you to, that's on you. But this is how to get out.
01:32:34 This is how to get out of this prison. This is how to get out of the prison, to just recognize
01:32:40 it for what it is. Just witness intimidation because you witness crimes, all right?
01:32:44 So every time you're down on yourself... Thank you, I appreciate that, Josh. Very, very kind.
01:32:51 Every time you're down on yourself, you're self-attacking, you're mad at yourself,
01:32:56 you're feeling self-destruction, you recognize the fist that's hitting you is not your own.
01:33:01 You're just being intimidated into silence. So the criminals get away with stuff. Now,
01:33:07 the good news is the best way to fight criminals is to stop listening to them.
01:33:15 The best way to fight criminals is to stop listening to them. And the real attack is
01:33:21 them convincing you that you're doing it to yourself when you're not.
01:33:23 Because that way it's autonomous, right? The best way to keep someone silent is to have them
01:33:28 paranoid. And the self-attack is thinking it's you. So, all right, I know that the original crime,
01:33:35 child abuse. So, no, I can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you what to do.
01:33:41 I can't tell you what to do. Should you confront your parents? I don't know.
01:33:46 I don't care. I don't care. I care in terms of it matters to you, but I care that you stop
01:33:54 self-attacking. I care that you stop thinking that you're just attacking yourself or you have
01:33:58 some insecurity or you punch yourself or you dislike yourself. I want you to stop doing that.
01:34:02 What you do with that knowledge, I don't know. If I break you out of a prison, that's what matters
01:34:07 to me. Well, where do I go now? It's like, hey man, you're free. If I tell you where to go,
01:34:11 you're just back in prison, right? So, that's my advice. Clarity of thought is all that is necessary
01:34:24 for philosophy. Commandment of action is the opposite because it's no longer free will.
01:34:28 All right. Thank you everyone so much for a great evening. Let me ask you this, sorry,
01:34:43 just as we close off here. How do you guys like the later night shows? Does it matter? Do you
01:34:47 think? I thought this was a bit of a scorcher, a bit of a crackle, or a bit of a banger of a show.
01:34:53 Anthony, honestly, I appreciate, listen, I really, really appreciate your kindness, Anthony.
01:34:57 I'd like you to take six months off from donating to the show. I really, really appreciate it. You're
01:35:02 very kind and I absolutely, deeply honor your donations, but if you could take some time off,
01:35:07 I know that you need some money yourself and I would rather you apply it to maybe your career
01:35:12 or whatever it is. But I appreciate that if you could do it. At least six months, if you want to
01:35:18 take a year, that's great. But if you could hold off on that, I would really, really appreciate it.
01:35:22 You liked the time? Love them night hour, later is better. Kept me entertained while the baby slept.
01:35:27 Oh, I'm just here to entertain you? Like I'm just a clown? I'm supposed to perform for you? Like
01:35:38 entertain? Anyway, I can't do a Joe Pesci. Who am I kidding? It's a Saturday afternoon show. Don't
01:35:44 hit me with your weird sun-baked giant spider time travel. It freaks me out. Either later or earlier
01:35:49 usually stream starts when I start driving home. Yeah, you can listen in the car, right? You can
01:35:54 listen in the car. All right, well, let's think about doing a 9pm show. We'll put out a poll and
01:36:00 see. Good fellas. Yeah, it's a terrifying movie, isn't it? All right. Thank you, everyone. Lots
01:36:05 of love. I really, really appreciate your time tonight. Thank you for your support and
01:36:08 freedomain.com/donate. If you're listening to this later, you know it's only here because people
01:36:14 support the show. And have yourselves a beautiful, beautiful weekend. We'll talk on Sunday. And
01:36:21 voice or live stream, V or L? Voice or live stream? You tell me. Voice or live stream, V or L?
01:36:28 Voice or live stream? Voice or live stream? Which will it be? I like both.
01:36:40 Night fever, night fever. We know how to do it. L, L, L. All right. Yeah, right. Sorry. Sorry for
01:36:48 the voice, people. All right. Thanks, everyone. Have a great night. Lots of love. I'll talk to
01:36:54 you soon. Bye.