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AmusantTranscription
00:00 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:07 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:14 (sirène)
00:15 (cris de la foule)
00:17 - Well, there they are, Grandpa.
00:19 Present state, number one in the nation.
00:21 Greatest team ever... - Greatest team?
00:23 Fiddle-faddle!
00:25 Why, son, when I was a boy, men were men.
00:27 Iron men!
00:29 Why, them fellers could beat any team in the country today.
00:32 - Oh, no! I bet they couldn't beat this team, Grandpa.
00:35 - Couldn't beat?
00:36 - Son, that's an idea.
00:38 Let's just see if we can't settle that age-old argument.
00:41 - Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're about to witness a game
00:44 which will definitely decide once and for all
00:46 which team is better,
00:47 the old-time gladiators of yesterday
00:49 or the modern gridiron heroes of today.
00:51 Now, here's the number one team of today, present state.
00:54 Here's the passing team, the kicking team,
00:57 defensive team, offensive, inoffensive,
00:59 split-tee, whole-tee, lipped-tee, single-wing,
01:01 double-wing, broken-wing, assistant coaches and trainers,
01:04 tutors and psychologists.
01:06 The old-timers are warming up across the way.
01:09 (thud)
01:10 Bygone's coach fires up his team.
01:13 (clears throat)
01:14 Win it, do or die, but try 'em.
01:17 (crowd cheering)
01:19 On the opposite side, present state's coach
01:21 pets up his players.
01:22 (crowd cheering)
01:24 - All right, you guys, now remember,
01:26 when you get out on that field,
01:27 the eyes of 40 million people will be on you.
01:29 Don't let them down!
01:31 - Yeah!
01:32 - Game time is near.
01:34 The officials are in the center of the field,
01:36 waiting to meet them is Bygone's captain,
01:38 John Hamilton Smeltz Smith, the third or fourth--
01:40 check that, Harry.
01:41 And here are the modern co-captains,
01:43 Rubabalsky, Shadowisky, Ginwhisky, Jones,
01:47 and Squatlowski, all set for the flip of the coin.
01:50 (ringing)
01:51 - Hello, folks, neighbors.
01:52 Bygone won the toss and will receive...
01:55 - The modern press box flashes the news
01:56 to the whole country.
01:58 - Flash! Joe Viteau will come in
01:59 to kick off our present state.
02:01 ♪ ♪ ♪
02:03 - Teams are lined up.
02:05 Old-timers ready?
02:06 Moderns ready?
02:08 (sifflet)
02:09 ♪ ♪ ♪
02:11 Joe Viteau kicks.
02:13 The ball comes down to Captain Smith.
02:15 The team forms a flying wedge.
02:16 Look at them go!
02:17 (sifflet)
02:19 They bulldoze across for a touchdown!
02:22 (crowd cheering)
02:23 - We're six points to the good, folks!
02:26 ♪ ♪ ♪
02:28 - Now it's seven.
02:29 (sifflet)
02:31 - Hello, hello?
02:32 - Yellow number six calling.
02:34 - Hey, coach, try play number XYZ7834 1/2 on two.
02:38 - Send in team seven with XYZ!
02:41 - Team seven! - Team seven!
02:42 - Team seven! - Team seven!
02:44 - The old-timers are teeing up for the next kickoff.
02:46 (sifflet)
02:47 The whistle.
02:48 (sifflet)
02:50 And he runs it back to the five-yard line.
02:52 They form the huddle.
02:53 Let's go inside the modern huddle,
02:55 while the quarterback runs through his list of plays
02:57 and comes up with a hot number.
02:59 (sifflet)
03:00 They break out in squirrel cage fashion.
03:02 - Speaking of squirrel cages, friends,
03:05 a whirling dervish dishwasher washes while you watch TV.
03:10 Just call Bilgewater 69784...
03:16 - Six, two, one, three, nine, hey!
03:18 - The ball is given to... the ball?
03:20 The ball-- where is the ball?
03:22 - Uh... (clears throat)
03:23 - Oh, the center still has it.
03:25 Say, that was a fooler.
03:27 - Now they're ready.
03:28 The quarterback takes the ball.
03:29 Modern's line charges.
03:30 Low hits the old-timers high,
03:31 up from the air.
03:33 - Send in team number 12!
03:35 - Team number 12! - Team 12!
03:37 - Team number 12 goes in.
03:40 And as team number 11 goes out...
03:42 (sifflet)
03:45 The new field general receives a handoff.
03:47 He drifts back, cuts loose, and fires a bullet pass.
03:51 The end fakes a defense out of the shoes,
03:52 and he's over!
03:54 - Out!
03:55 - Out!
03:57 - Well, if Joe the Toe can kick the extra point,
03:59 here's Modern's chance to tie the score.
04:02 - Well, there's the gun ending the half.
04:04 - And the score is tied.
04:05 Joe's Toe's done it again.
04:07 - Let's check the Modern team in its quarters.
04:09 Here, battle-torn jerseys are changed,
04:11 while some are psychoanalyzed.
04:14 (sifflet)
04:17 Others are vitaminized,
04:18 and the whole team gets steamed up for the second half.
04:20 - Across the field, the old-timers repair their equipment
04:23 and refresh themselves for the coming struggle.
04:25 ♪
04:29 - We're all set to start the second half.
04:31 The old-timers ready to receive.
04:32 There's the kick.
04:33 It's a long high one.
04:35 It's going over the goal.
04:36 (cheers and applause)
04:39 Bygone You gets the ball in their 20.
04:41 Now Captain Smith sets himself for the Upsy-Daisy play.
04:43 This is a hard play to handle.
04:45 The ball is passed to Smith,
04:47 and Smith is passed...
04:49 for a short game.
04:50 Old-timers lining up for the next play.
04:52 It's a new formation.
04:53 Well, they may be trying to sew up the game with this one.
04:56 The ball is snapped back, and everybody's got one.
04:58 (fireworks)
05:01 Captain Smith is detected with a real ball,
05:03 but a Modern makes a mustache tackle.
05:05 (cheers and applause)
05:08 - Well, folks, the old wagon broke down on that one,
05:11 but you can bet your buggy Captain Smith
05:13 has something up his sleeve for the next try.
05:15 (whistle)
05:17 (cheers and applause)
05:18 - The old-timers lead now 13 to 7.
05:21 Send in Team 65!
05:23 - Team 65! - Running Team 65!
05:25 - Go!
05:26 - The old-timers kick.
05:28 Jim Whiskey returns the ball to the 20.
05:29 And now with only seven minutes left,
05:31 Modern must dig deep in their bag of tricks to win.
05:34 - Yeah, hello?
05:36 - Scout number 8 calling.
05:37 - Hey, coach, this is it, the perfect spot for play number...
05:40 - Num... - What?
05:41 - Number what?
05:42 - What number are you calling, please?
05:45 - Well, I want to send my...
05:46 - Deposit 25 cents for 10 minutes, please.
05:49 (cris de la foule)
05:51 (sifflement)
05:52 - You guys got a quarter?
05:54 - No, no, no, no.
05:55 - Sorry, Mr. Olleguts, darling.
05:57 - Shh, not a word.
05:58 - All right, now, let's show that old-school spirit.
06:01 Will anybody lend the coach a quarter?
06:03 - No!
06:04 - What super scientific razzle-dazzle
06:06 has the Brain Trust dreamed up for this last play?
06:09 - Why, no, it can't be.
06:10 - But it is. The old-time flying wedge.
06:13 (cris de la foule)
06:18 (cris de la foule)
06:20 (cris de la foule)
06:23 (cris de la foule)
06:26 (cris de la foule)
06:29 (cris de la foule)
06:31 (cris de la foule)
06:34 (cris de la foule)
06:36 (cris de la foule)
06:40 (cris de la foule)
06:41 (cris de la foule)
06:43 (cris de la foule)
06:46 (clic)
06:47 (cris de la foule)
06:49 (cris de la foule)
06:51 (cris de la foule)
06:53 (cris de la foule)
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