Doctors R.A. & Victory Vernon's 6 L's Of Marriage
Transcript
00:00:00 I want to talk about tonight, we want to talk about the doctors R.A. and Victory Vernon,
00:00:05 six L's of marriage.
00:00:08 Six L's of marriage.
00:00:09 It's how we frame marriage.
00:00:11 You can still them, use them, but we wanted a way to give it to you.
00:00:15 Now for two Sundays I've been real didactic and biblical and theological.
00:00:21 Tonight I want to be a bit more practical, but yet we want to use the Bible.
00:00:24 So the first L, write it down.
00:00:26 Most of you know it.
00:00:27 It's obvious.
00:00:28 It's love.
00:00:29 It's love, love.
00:00:31 And we're talking about the God kind of love.
00:00:36 Not this fleeting love.
00:00:38 And we know in Greek love has like several definitions.
00:00:42 You'll love this.
00:00:43 I think you need a little bit of all of them in marriage.
00:00:46 Right?
00:00:47 Number one, you need the God kind of love.
00:00:50 That's the self-sacrificing love that we see with Jesus on that cross.
00:00:56 No greater love than this, than a man lay down his life for his friend.
00:01:02 I believe, I'm just going to give you credit without knowing you, that most of you would
00:01:05 lay down your life for the person sitting next to you.
00:01:08 Raise your hand if you really would.
00:01:09 Yeah.
00:01:10 Particularly brothers, I know you would.
00:01:12 I think women would too.
00:01:13 The Lord showed me that victory rose Vernon would die for me.
00:01:17 He showed me that.
00:01:18 And when I saw that, I fell to another level of love.
00:01:21 You know, sometimes a woman, because of what she can get from you, right?
00:01:25 And as soon as it's not whatever, it's like, do you really love me?
00:01:28 Or if I did like one stupid thing, would you be done or gone or, and when the Lord shows
00:01:34 you that he's giving you somebody that love you, I'm looking for a good amen right there.
00:01:42 So baby, you can jump in on that agape love.
00:01:45 So I'm talking about the kind of love, and my wife looked around and said, we got a lot
00:01:49 of guests tonight.
00:01:51 And so if you a guest tonight and maybe you with your cousin or a coworker, man, we offer
00:01:55 Jesus because to us, only Christ can help you love unconditionally.
00:01:59 That's right.
00:02:00 Do y'all agree with that?
00:02:01 If you agree with that.
00:02:03 So if you don't go to our church tonight, make sure you, you know, give me a hug or
00:02:07 shake my hand over in the convention center because I love to know you.
00:02:11 And but we think that baby, you want to add to that?
00:02:13 Yeah, I'm glad that we're starting with love.
00:02:16 Ephesians 5 and 25 says, husbands go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ
00:02:25 did for the church, a love marked by giving not getting.
00:02:30 Everybody read that with me because we decided since everybody knows the NASB and NLT and
00:02:36 NRSV, we thought the message version would give us this.
00:02:39 Let's read it together.
00:02:40 Ready, set, read.
00:02:42 Husbands go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church,
00:02:48 a love marked by giving not getting.
00:02:52 Yeah.
00:02:53 Is that good?
00:02:54 That goes back to that, how we serve each other.
00:02:58 You know, when, when my heart is not working or when my mind is not working, my love for
00:03:04 you and the way Christ sacrificed his love for the church and how he died and gave of
00:03:10 himself.
00:03:11 So when I see you going all out for me, it also reminds me of how Christ goes all out
00:03:17 for me.
00:03:19 So it's double for me when I see that you're like, yes, ma'am.
00:03:22 And how can I serve you?
00:03:24 And the same thing that I do for you, it reminds me of, I love what you said this morning.
00:03:30 You said how we are to illustrate the church and Christ and how he comes back and get his
00:03:36 bride.
00:03:37 I praise God that in this marriage, you always come back and get me.
00:03:41 Amen.
00:03:42 So that's what love does.
00:03:44 So when I'm not doing right, it reminds me of how much Christ has forgiven the church
00:03:49 and loved the church.
00:03:50 So that's why I lean into the fact of love in our marriage and it couples with honor.
00:03:57 I think love speaks to honor.
00:04:00 And so everybody say love.
00:04:03 And we're going to go a little faster tonight because we want to sort of get to some practical
00:04:06 things.
00:04:07 I want you to remember this, in marriage, and I'm looking around at some people that
00:04:10 have been married almost as long as I've been born or longer.
00:04:15 We've learned that just because you've been married a long time don't mean you're doing
00:04:19 it right.
00:04:20 I think maybe the best compliment I got, she's in heaven now, Mother Mosley was 70, almost
00:04:27 80.
00:04:28 She said they had been married 60 years when they met us and didn't know nothing about
00:04:31 marriage.
00:04:32 That's what she said.
00:04:33 She said we was together, but we didn't know the teaching that you're giving us.
00:04:36 And she told me that after 60 years of marriage.
00:04:38 So how many of you know you're never too old to learn?
00:04:41 Yeah.
00:04:42 I don't care if your kid's grown and you didn't bought houses together, been on vacation,
00:04:46 got 25 under you, 30 under your grandkids.
00:04:49 My wife and I are still open to learning, right?
00:04:53 Because I want to be a better husband.
00:04:54 Let me ask you this.
00:04:55 So please do, please.
00:04:56 So what do you do if a couple is sitting here and their husband or their wife, it seems
00:05:01 like I can't love you.
00:05:02 You're not receiving my love.
00:05:05 How do I, how do I operate?
00:05:06 How do I navigate?
00:05:07 I'm not required to make you love me.
00:05:10 Yeah.
00:05:11 I'm required to love you.
00:05:12 Yeah.
00:05:13 It's on you to love me back.
00:05:14 Yeah.
00:05:15 I made a vow.
00:05:16 I made a promise.
00:05:17 So this gets into Christianity 101.
00:05:20 Be great if you love me back, but I'm gonna love you.
00:05:24 And when I don't feel love, come on, talk.
00:05:26 I'm gonna do the actions of love.
00:05:28 You've heard me teach for years.
00:05:30 The Bible does not say be in love.
00:05:34 Show me your Bible.
00:05:36 The Bible says love.
00:05:38 Love is an action.
00:05:40 Love is a decision.
00:05:41 I ain't talking about the googly-googly feelings.
00:05:43 I want those too and I have those, but in the absence of that, you do the actions of
00:05:47 love.
00:05:48 I'm gonna love you.
00:05:49 And sometimes that can be difficult when you're a person that's not, you know, sort of reciprocating
00:05:54 that, but I think it's there.
00:05:55 I want to talk about this.
00:05:57 Write this down.
00:05:58 Remember this.
00:05:59 In marriage, communication is critical.
00:06:01 Communication is critical.
00:06:02 I think every couple in this room would agree.
00:06:04 Two years married, 80 years married, communication is critical.
00:06:08 So here's another L that goes along with our teaching.
00:06:12 We said love.
00:06:13 Number two, we think what has helped our marriage is listening.
00:06:16 Listening, listening.
00:06:18 I want to read a scripture to you.
00:06:21 Remember this, brothers and sisters, James 119.
00:06:25 Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and should not get angry easily.
00:06:31 I think that's good for marriage right there.
00:06:33 Listening, listening.
00:06:35 And I want you to think through, and you can kind of talk to each other while we're teaching
00:06:40 you tonight.
00:06:41 Ask each other who's the best listener.
00:06:43 Go ahead and ask right quick.
00:06:44 Now look at them and say, "You're not listening to me right now."
00:06:48 Praise God.
00:06:49 That's my problem with our marriage.
00:06:54 I don't think I know that my wife is a better listener than me.
00:06:58 I have to be intentional to listen.
00:07:00 A lot of men do.
00:07:01 My life is big and exciting, and I'm always thinking about the next thing.
00:07:05 And sometimes while she's talking, how many of you, your spouse was talking, and because
00:07:10 you had already figured out what they was going to say, you just wanted to say 13 minutes
00:07:15 and just respond right quick.
00:07:16 Let me just stop you from the next eight minutes, because I know what you're about to say, and
00:07:20 I already have the answer, because I'm smart enough to know what you're going to say.
00:07:24 That becomes a problem.
00:07:25 Even if you know what they're going to say, you got to listen.
00:07:30 Let me get naked, brother, so you can take your clothes off.
00:07:32 I struggle with listening and still at times have to lean in my mind, even people who work
00:07:37 with me know.
00:07:39 And so I had to remember, and I'm going to go here because it's Sunday night.
00:07:44 I don't want no other brother listening to it better than me.
00:07:50 I said what I said.
00:07:53 And God knows you shouldn't want no other woman being a better listener.
00:07:56 She at work, she's talking about for real.
00:08:00 And then what happened?
00:08:01 They all at lunch, praise God, you almost scratched your husband's whole face, and he
00:08:05 ain't did nothing.
00:08:06 You almost scratched his whole face, and the man is innocent.
00:08:09 He retired.
00:08:10 He don't even go to work, and you almost scratched him for a thought.
00:08:14 But we think, and the scripture says, listening is critical, and listening, and maybe jumping
00:08:21 in here, requires, we really believe this, body language.
00:08:26 We've taught you this years ago, but it may sound small, but I mean that when your spouse
00:08:31 is talking with everything in you, try to lean toward them and listen.
00:08:36 Try to make your body language.
00:08:37 If you land in the bed, turn that way toward them, put your hand on your head and look
00:08:41 at them.
00:08:42 Even though you're thinking about who won the game, praise God, amen, just play it off.
00:08:48 But for some reason, and this is very important to women, but men too want to be listened
00:08:53 to, baby.
00:08:54 - Oh, absolutely.
00:08:55 - It's almost, it's the art of listening.
00:08:58 I listen because I want to learn my husband.
00:09:03 When it come to my kids, it's like I know everything about them, but in this season
00:09:07 of his life and many other seasons that he, yeah, any other, yeah, I'm not gonna jump
00:09:12 to the learning, but in every season, I wanna know where he's at.
00:09:16 I often ask wives, I say, "You know where your husband is at, but do you know where
00:09:21 your husband is at?
00:09:23 Where is he?"
00:09:25 You know, when it comes to his emotions, when it comes to how he wants to be with me, how
00:09:32 he's feeling about maybe past pain, so many men don't wanna open up to their wives or
00:09:37 vice versa because they feel like you're not listening.
00:09:41 So I'm intentional of listening to him because I wanna be a safe space for him.
00:09:47 So for me, listening is important because I want him to hear me and I wanna be heard.
00:09:54 As women, you know, it's kinda hard because I got the next thought that I wanna say, but
00:09:58 I'm glad that for you, you always slow me down.
00:10:02 You know, it's like, "No, no, no, explain that again," and you know, "I think I heard
00:10:06 you say."
00:10:07 You know, he repeats back to me what I said and I say the same thing to him.
00:10:12 - I didn't do that because I'm so deep, a great Bishop Joey taught me that.
00:10:17 Never tell me who you're over until you tell me who you're under, and probably saved our
00:10:21 marriage, some of these communication things that I did not know was not taught in my church,
00:10:26 certainly didn't get it from parents or things of that nature.
00:10:29 First man that taught me the importance of repeating back to a person what they said.
00:10:34 As small as that may sound, the only way I can validate with clarity that you heard me
00:10:40 is for you to say it back.
00:10:41 Now, for some bros who don't like a lot of talking, that's way too much thinking, but
00:10:46 if somebody's sharing their whole heart with you, the least you can do is say back what
00:10:50 they said.
00:10:51 It's a trick when I'm telling you something, and bros don't say a lot, particularly quiet
00:10:57 men who come from emotionless fathers or no dads.
00:11:01 So when they do talk, you better listen because if you handle them wrong, they won't talk
00:11:06 again, at least with something real.
00:11:09 So you know, for you to say, "I think I heard you say that I'm a good brother, but you need
00:11:15 a little bit more communication, I think I heard you say that I only touch you when I
00:11:22 want to have sex with you and you just want a little bit more intimacy into me, see."
00:11:28 Amen.
00:11:29 "I think I heard you say that you honor me, but I can show a little bit more honor."
00:11:34 Does that sound like what you're saying?
00:11:37 Now, any person that doesn't respond to that, they just crazy.
00:11:42 And go get some therapy, amen, praise God, amen.
00:11:44 - Which is okay.
00:11:45 - They just want to fight.
00:11:47 But I do mean that that changed a lot of what we do.
00:11:51 So repeating back what the other person said, leaning toward them, body language matters.
00:11:57 Let me ask a woman, and then you can help me.
00:11:59 Have you ever been so mad that when your spouse was talking, you was like, "Okay, hurry up,
00:12:07 you already on the next thing."
00:12:08 Right, right?
00:12:09 I want to read this scripture to you.
00:12:11 It blessed my life.
00:12:12 I had never read it before.
00:12:13 I've been reading the Bible a long time.
00:12:14 I had never read this.
00:12:15 I want to read it to you guys because the Bible says when it comes to listening, Proverbs
00:12:19 18, 13, "Answering before listening is both stupid and rude."
00:12:27 - Come on, sir.
00:12:28 - Oh, my goodness.
00:12:29 "Answering before listening is both stupid and rude."
00:12:34 So when you just jump to talking and haven't let them finish, according to your Bible,
00:12:41 it's stupid and rude.
00:12:43 Now don't you say tomorrow you're being stupid and rude.
00:12:46 - Right.
00:12:47 - And it's in the Bible.
00:12:48 - Red words.
00:12:49 - Those are called red words.
00:12:51 Say red words.
00:12:52 - Red words.
00:12:53 - At the Word Church, we try to avoid red words.
00:12:56 And red words are words that once you say that word, I can't hear no other words.
00:13:01 - That's it.
00:13:02 - Right?
00:13:03 So if you say stuff like, "That was stupid.
00:13:05 All I heard you say in my spirit, my mom is stupid, my daddy is stupid, my whole family
00:13:09 is stupid, I'm stupid, the kid's stupid."
00:13:11 So you can't say stupid.
00:13:13 You can't say hard words to someone that you love.
00:13:18 Y'all agree with this?
00:13:19 - So what about a wife or a husband that talks all the time?
00:13:24 - Who is that?
00:13:25 - Well, okay.
00:13:26 Oh, they're being honest.
00:13:27 - None of these wives.
00:13:28 - That's, yeah.
00:13:29 - Or husbands.
00:13:30 Go ahead.
00:13:31 - Okay, so how do you navigate through that?
00:13:35 Because I want to give, like, what do I do if my wife doesn't, like, stop talking?
00:13:40 She's always talking, she's always complaining, and he's always complaining, they're always
00:13:45 going at it.
00:13:46 What do you do with that?
00:13:47 - I plead the blood of Jesus over him, amen.
00:13:51 I anoint him with Crisco.
00:13:53 No, I'm serious.
00:13:54 - You walk away?
00:13:55 - You come to classes like this and we pray.
00:13:58 And some beautiful, well-meaning women, we're just not taught to be wise.
00:14:04 Yeah, a lot of brothers, most men I know were not trained to be husbands.
00:14:10 I don't know many men that were trained to be husbands.
00:14:13 Our sons are.
00:14:14 Yeah, brothers who go to the Word, our sons are being trained to be husbands.
00:14:18 But most of us were not trained to be husbands.
00:14:21 Most of us did not see manhood in a Christ way modeled at the house from the time we
00:14:28 could talk, right?
00:14:30 By fathers and uncles and men of God.
00:14:32 Most of us, daddy was whatever.
00:14:34 If they were together, they barely talked, didn't touch in front of us.
00:14:37 Daddy had a woman or mama, whatever.
00:14:39 We just didn't see it.
00:14:41 Which is why I need somebody to praise God for grace tonight, amen, because how were
00:14:48 we doing so good when we didn't see it?
00:14:51 - That's good, yeah.
00:14:52 - The blood of Jesus.
00:14:53 Amen, everybody.
00:14:55 And good teaching.
00:14:56 Let's move to this next one, because we got to get to some other things quick tonight,
00:15:01 and I want you to save some time for dancing.
00:15:03 Here it is.
00:15:04 The third L, Lady Vernon mentioned it, learning.
00:15:07 Learning.
00:15:08 We got love, right?
00:15:10 These are the Dr. Ari and Victory Vernon, six L's of love.
00:15:14 Could be a book, could be something, but we feel like we were on vacation and God just
00:15:18 dropped these on me.
00:15:19 I said, "Baby, I think I see what encompasses our marriage."
00:15:22 She'll tell you.
00:15:23 I dropped all six L's in 30 seconds, didn't I?
00:15:25 - You did.
00:15:26 - I just said them out loud.
00:15:27 I said, "Baby, I think it takes love.
00:15:28 I think it takes listening."
00:15:30 And then I said, "I think it takes learning."
00:15:32 Why is learning your spouse critical?
00:15:36 Because it will teach you how to live in peace.
00:15:39 "Pastor, I know my woman."
00:15:43 Really?
00:15:44 "Pastor, I know my man."
00:15:50 He's changing.
00:15:51 I told you all menopause.
00:15:55 Look at a seasoned brother say, "You may have menopause."
00:15:57 Go ahead and tell that brother right quick.
00:15:58 Praise God.
00:15:59 - That's true.
00:16:00 - Yeah, sometimes a man gets older, he's changing.
00:16:03 It was sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
00:16:05 Now he's more in touch with who he is and his emotions matter and things of that nature.
00:16:10 We almost switch roles.
00:16:11 Now you 50 like, "Rrrrr."
00:16:12 He like, "No, tomorrow."
00:16:13 Praise God.
00:16:14 Amen.
00:16:15 Not necessarily just that, but baby, speak to that because when I say learning, the person
00:16:25 your spouse was at 20, she may not be at 30.
00:16:29 Yeah, I'm not, I haven't been married as long as the Corleys, but 27 years is nothing to
00:16:34 sneeze at.
00:16:35 I'm tripping because we were in our 20s when we got married, then 30s, then 40s, now 50s.
00:16:41 And I'm telling y'all, she's a different woman.
00:16:44 - That's good.
00:16:45 - And the reason I know is because I keep asking.
00:16:48 Needs have changed.
00:16:49 Y'all, maturity has changed.
00:16:53 What turns her on has changed.
00:16:55 What thrills her.
00:16:57 I got a question and baby jump in.
00:16:59 Are you listening to each other?
00:17:02 Are you learning each other?
00:17:04 Learning, learning, learning.
00:17:06 Speak to that baby.
00:17:07 - Yeah, when I was in my 20s, there were certain needs that I wanted and I thought I desired,
00:17:13 but then I got 30, then I got 40.
00:17:15 Now I'm in my 50s and taking care of my mom.
00:17:18 My kids are older, so I'm in different places in my mind.
00:17:22 Needs have moved and shifted, so he had to learn me all over again.
00:17:27 But the one thing that I like about this learning that him and I have leaned into is that now
00:17:33 I get to learn a healthier him.
00:17:36 One of the best gifts that he has given me is really learning himself.
00:17:43 So not just learning your spouse, but learn yourself and knowing areas that you need to
00:17:48 polish, areas where you need to be healed in and grow in.
00:17:53 So I think even learning yourself, but learning you, because at some point, somebody sitting
00:17:58 here, you have learned the crazy part of them.
00:18:02 But now up under this teaching, up under now, you know, leaning into like, oh, my spouse
00:18:07 is getting better.
00:18:09 Now learning the healthier person.
00:18:11 So now that you won't keep them locked up in a space.
00:18:15 See some of us, we're talking out a past mess that they did.
00:18:19 So it's like, oh, I'm mad at you because I remember in 1980 and the bread like, but I
00:18:25 changed.
00:18:26 But you're still mad at him from the 80s.
00:18:28 So learning the new him is important.
00:18:30 Did you say the 80s, baby?
00:18:31 The 80s.
00:18:32 Where was we at?
00:18:33 That's a long time.
00:18:34 Praise God.
00:18:35 We got some 80s players in here.
00:18:36 Praise God.
00:18:37 Amen.
00:18:38 Yes.
00:18:39 I agree with you wholeheartedly.
00:18:44 And I've told this story, but I'm learning her and I'm loving it and living life with
00:18:50 somebody and watching them evolve and get better is the best thing in the world.
00:18:56 Amen.
00:18:57 Watching her grow as a woman and accomplish more.
00:19:01 And of course, doing children, now grandchildren together.
00:19:04 I'm sorry.
00:19:05 I'm an apologist.
00:19:06 I'm an unapologetic apologist for marriage.
00:19:08 Yeah.
00:19:09 I feel like I'm the last player left, but I love me some marriage.
00:19:12 Brothers, you better act like you agree with me and clap your hands.
00:19:15 Amen.
00:19:16 You better play it off tonight, no matter what you're going through.
00:19:22 I'm just not moving.
00:19:23 God had a plan when he made marriage and he was right.
00:19:26 The whole world is wrong.
00:19:28 It's nothing like learning somebody and kissing somebody and we're going there making love
00:19:34 to somebody that's your friend.
00:19:37 That's your friend.
00:19:38 And you think she cute.
00:19:42 Look at your husband and say, you're the most handsome man in here.
00:19:44 Lie to him in his face.
00:19:45 He don't care.
00:19:46 I mean, you lie to that man in his face and you tell him it's the truth to me.
00:19:52 So do me a favor.
00:19:53 When you get home tonight or even today, tonight, look at each other and say, you know, do you
00:19:58 know me?
00:19:59 Do I know you?
00:20:00 And get to know each other.
00:20:02 That's, you got to start right there.
00:20:04 Amen.
00:20:05 That's a homework assignment.
00:20:06 That's a homework assignment and extend grace to the new person that has showed up now.
00:20:12 Now this new person has showed up.
00:20:14 I want you to love that new person is there.
00:20:16 Up under this amazing teaching, up under the communities that we have built here.
00:20:20 How about this?
00:20:21 Up under like knowing Christ for real now.
00:20:25 Learning each other can be, it can just change the trajectory of your marriage.
00:20:29 Yeah, I agree with Lady Vernon.
00:20:32 I think the more you learn each other, the more you act.
00:20:34 And I want to concur.
00:20:36 I want you to sort of take some notes tonight and whenever we teach, consider the classroom.
00:20:40 Amen.
00:20:41 We're not just here to talk.
00:20:43 So the assignment, the assignment tonight is to ask each other about the L's.
00:20:46 I said I was going to say this and I'm glad you do know that by your very nature, you
00:20:54 may be better at one L than another.
00:20:56 That's good.
00:20:57 I'm going to save that for the end because, because sometimes what you're naturally good
00:21:02 at, you don't have to work at.
00:21:04 It is the one that you're not so natural at, right?
00:21:08 To the bro who's more quiet and your provider and your solid brother, you just don't like
00:21:13 all the emotional mumbo jumbo.
00:21:15 You're just a peaceful brother.
00:21:17 You're not trying to hear it.
00:21:18 You're not trying to give it out.
00:21:19 But here's the thing about marriage.
00:21:21 It is selflessness.
00:21:25 Marriage is, I don't even like to do all that emotional, how you doing?
00:21:28 How's your heart?
00:21:29 How's your mind?
00:21:30 But if you need that, I'm going to do that.
00:21:34 Amen, everybody.
00:21:35 Yeah, I'm a natural talker as a woman.
00:21:38 I go off.
00:21:39 But if you need me to sometime be softer, because my nature is hard.
00:21:44 My friends know it.
00:21:45 My mother know it.
00:21:46 I go off on you.
00:21:47 Everybody know I don't play no games.
00:21:49 But you don't always want that hard thing.
00:21:52 So let me be intentional to be soft.
00:21:54 Are y'all listening?
00:21:55 Is this good stuff, everybody?
00:21:56 Y'all getting something?
00:21:57 We going fast.
00:21:58 I hope you received this.
00:21:59 I need fresh insight.
00:22:00 Here's what I wrote.
00:22:01 I need fresh insight on my spouse's current needs, mentally, physically, emotionally.
00:22:12 Who are they a decade later to those who just got married?
00:22:16 Two decades, even three decades later.
00:22:19 Here it is again.
00:22:20 I need fresh insight.
00:22:22 We say fresh intel.
00:22:24 Fresh intel, fresh insight.
00:22:26 So I'm asking you, you can blow me off as your pastor, or you can hear me.
00:22:31 I need every brother and sister to look at your spouse tonight on your date night, your
00:22:36 devotional time, and say, "What don't I know about you?"
00:22:39 - That's good.
00:22:40 - Because I feel like I know you.
00:22:42 It's been 25 years, 13 years, but what don't I know?
00:22:45 The night I asked this woman who she was changed our marriage, and we were about 10 years in
00:22:51 then.
00:22:52 And it dawned on me I had never really asked certain questions about her childhood.
00:22:55 Maybe this led to that.
00:22:56 I didn't know.
00:22:57 I wanted to know.
00:22:58 Don't laugh at me.
00:22:59 I wanted to know what was the eight-year-old victory, and what was the 11-year-old victory?
00:23:03 And so what was it like with your dad?
00:23:05 And so at 13, what was you tripping on?
00:23:08 And next thing I know, it was nine o'clock at night, and the sun was coming up.
00:23:13 And we were still talking, remember?
00:23:15 In that hotel bed.
00:23:16 And that was the first time I thought, "I've been making love to this woman, providing,
00:23:20 making babies."
00:23:21 But I just found out who she really is.
00:23:23 - And guess what I had to do that night?
00:23:24 I had to relax and trust the space that I was in.
00:23:29 I had to relax and trust you, because for 10 years, he never...
00:23:33 Well, I wouldn't even say it was 10 years, babe.
00:23:35 But however many years it was, it was like that was the first time he asked me that.
00:23:40 So for a second, I was just like, "What?"
00:23:44 But I had to really just lean into the trust.
00:23:47 I had to look at his eyes, and I had to feel his heart, and I had to release.
00:23:54 Sometimes it's hard to release those emotions because of past trauma and pain, not just
00:23:58 from other people, but from this space.
00:24:02 But I really had to sit there and say, "Lord, I need you to help me and release me to release
00:24:07 this."
00:24:08 - Did you just infer that I caused you some pain?
00:24:09 - No.
00:24:10 Well, in the beginning of our marriage...
00:24:11 - Because I did.
00:24:12 I did.
00:24:13 - In the beginning of our marriage, I think we both caused each other some pain.
00:24:15 - I said a lot.
00:24:16 I was a messed up, anointed, emotionally messed brother.
00:24:23 And we were blended.
00:24:25 And the first two years of our marriage, I didn't want to come home, and she didn't want
00:24:27 me to come home.
00:24:29 And pastoring all that, loving, not cheating, beating on it, but stuff, emotionally messed
00:24:36 up.
00:24:37 And sometimes you have to look at that time and say, "I wasn't the best to be married
00:24:39 to."
00:24:40 Right?
00:24:41 "I wasn't the best to be married to."
00:24:42 And so we don't want this deodorized teaching like we superheroes up here.
00:24:48 We sitting here by the grace of God.
00:24:49 - Jesus.
00:24:50 - Yeah, yeah.
00:24:51 We went...
00:24:52 Probably went too fast.
00:24:55 Another relationship before me, probably needed more time between that.
00:24:58 Two babies, pregnant, on honeymoon night by me.
00:25:03 So now I got two as she pregnant, and then she said, "Don't touch me," type when she pregnant.
00:25:08 I'm like, "Hell, I waited for 22 years.
00:25:12 That's half the reason I'm here."
00:25:15 Right?
00:25:16 "Don't touch me."
00:25:17 - It was bad.
00:25:18 - Now watch this.
00:25:19 Because of that overreaction, when Ray's born, I get a two's time.
00:25:25 Because I'm thinking, "Well, you got two.
00:25:27 I got Dominique, I got my boy.
00:25:28 I'm good."
00:25:29 Move too fast, because she was so evil during the pregnancy.
00:25:33 I'm thinking, "I don't want no more."
00:25:36 Then we get a couple dollars and the Lord starts blessing the church, and I'm thinking,
00:25:40 "Well, I would like more than one child."
00:25:42 Now we got to pay money and go to clinics and put the babies in tubes.
00:25:44 Come on, raise your hand, praise God, all of you.
00:25:46 - IVF.
00:25:47 - Yeah, yeah.
00:25:48 - Yeah.
00:25:49 - Yeah.
00:25:50 - Whenever you see Victory and Ralph, they lived in a refrigerator for 13 years.
00:25:53 Pray for them, amen.
00:25:54 Yeah, they're my $50,000 babies.
00:25:57 Pray for them, praise God, amen.
00:25:58 The bionic babies, praise God.
00:26:01 Not that much, but again, which is why I wrote the book to singles.
00:26:05 So many of you know your start was rough, and it's not like you talk about that.
00:26:09 Right?
00:26:10 - Okay.
00:26:11 - Maybe during that start, there was some infidelity and some things you like, and it
00:26:13 comes up sometime because you were sick and didn't know how to be married.
00:26:18 You didn't mean to hurt her.
00:26:19 - Right.
00:26:20 - You didn't think, "Let me just go crush my wife's soul."
00:26:24 And I say that not to justify.
00:26:25 And when I say this, women can't get mad at me because I'm not talking out of guilt.
00:26:30 There's never been any cheating or anything, but I do mean this because there's some men,
00:26:33 I feel the Holy Spirit right here, baby.
00:26:35 - Go ahead.
00:26:36 - Yeah, I know a lot of couples here.
00:26:37 There's some men that, and women too, but men tend to do it, well, men tend to get caught
00:26:42 more.
00:26:43 Praise God, amen.
00:26:44 - Come on, come on, Holy Ghost.
00:26:47 - I'm a pastor.
00:26:48 But I say that to say, sometime your mind is, "You must hate me.
00:26:53 You must don't care about us.
00:26:54 You must..."
00:26:55 And that brother wants to grab you so much and say, "I was just stupid.
00:27:00 I didn't care about her.
00:27:02 It's just the devil is real."
00:27:04 - He's so real.
00:27:05 - And unhealth is real.
00:27:07 And the Bible says, "Beware when you think you stay unless you fall."
00:27:09 And if you're not girded up in the Holy Spirit and receiving teaching, and then a couple
00:27:14 weeks she don't let you touch her because she mad about something.
00:27:17 And then she not let you touch her, and it's not so kind.
00:27:20 And then somebody else say something nice, and you thinking, and next thing you know,
00:27:23 you didn't did something, and you singing a song, "How did I get here?"
00:27:27 Right?
00:27:28 And so tonight, in the name of Jesus, I plead the blood over your marriage.
00:27:34 And watch this.
00:27:35 - Heal it.
00:27:36 - If you want it to be gone, you be gone.
00:27:39 So if you're going to stay, fight.
00:27:40 - Fight.
00:27:41 - And put it under the blood.
00:27:43 And when it gets under the blood, once it's under the blood, it don't even get to come
00:27:47 up no more.
00:27:48 No, we put that under the blood.
00:27:51 Either it's under the blood or it's not.
00:27:52 I want to talk to somebody that maybe somebody hit each other.
00:27:56 Y'all was wrestling one day, or you grabbed, or...
00:27:59 Every couple, many couples have stories that are just painful.
00:28:03 And the devil will tell you, "You don't have a marriage.
00:28:06 You do have a marriage."
00:28:07 "Come on, talk to me.
00:28:09 What God is showing together.
00:28:10 Come on."
00:28:11 Let no man put us under.
00:28:13 Let's get to these before we run out of time.
00:28:15 Are y'all enjoying this?
00:28:16 Is this what you wanted?
00:28:17 - Yes.
00:28:18 - Is this good?
00:28:19 We're getting ready to go dance.
00:28:20 You're going to be late for work tomorrow.
00:28:21 Text them right now.
00:28:22 Praise God, because you ain't leaving here until you dance to three songs.
00:28:25 I don't care who y'all.
00:28:27 Here's the next L, those watching us all across the world.
00:28:30 - Laughter.
00:28:31 - Laughter.
00:28:32 - Laughter.
00:28:33 Now that works for us.
00:28:34 And we want to be careful not to sort of place on you that which works for us, but we think
00:28:38 it would help.
00:28:39 Let's hear some scriptures.
00:28:40 The Bible says regarding laughter, baby, what does it say?
00:28:43 - A joyful heart is good medicine, but depression drains one's strength.
00:28:48 Again, it's on the screen.
00:28:50 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a depression drains one's strength.
00:28:56 - Amen.
00:28:57 - That's good.
00:28:58 - A joyful heart is good medicine, but depression drains one's strength.
00:29:04 Yeah.
00:29:05 Have you ever, some of you are married to this person.
00:29:10 They so depressed, sometimes it takes your strength.
00:29:13 - Lord God.
00:29:14 - Yeah, that's why we're here tonight.
00:29:15 It's always negative.
00:29:17 It's always pessimistic.
00:29:18 It's always the glass is half empty.
00:29:20 It's always my mama.
00:29:22 It's always, but you don't understand what was happening with me.
00:29:25 And one day, and I've been through some stuff, many of you have too.
00:29:28 This is what God told me to do.
00:29:30 You hear God.
00:29:31 I got a girl that'll listen to me.
00:29:33 I've had some childhood trauma and it's obvious.
00:29:36 My mother knew that before she passed.
00:29:38 She told me, "Tell your story, help people, baby."
00:29:40 And so I had some childhood trauma, lived a lot of places and things of that nature.
00:29:44 And I would bring it up when I was going through something.
00:29:47 I heard the Lord tell me this, "You do what you want to do."
00:29:50 The Lord told me, "Don't bring that up no more to your wife till you die."
00:29:55 He said, "That's under the blood."
00:29:57 He said, "You've done the therapy.
00:30:00 She know you know, even though she's smiling and always listening, don't keep draining
00:30:06 her with your past."
00:30:10 Because if she doesn't pay attention, then she's insensitive.
00:30:14 But it could be like, "Okay, how long are we going to...
00:30:17 That's what we're going to do.
00:30:18 That's over now.
00:30:19 This is old school, but let's go to a new level and fight some new devils.
00:30:24 That's over now."
00:30:26 So I don't bring that up.
00:30:28 I got a good Christian therapist if I need that, other places, but I'm not going to keep...
00:30:32 Now, when you first get married, your spouse and even still should be your soft place if
00:30:37 you need to tell them anything.
00:30:40 But be careful when you keep telling them the same thing.
00:30:43 Is this good, everybody?
00:30:45 So we believe, and jump in baby, that laughing...
00:30:50 And her friends, and I see Ron and all them, she got the dumbest laugh God ever made in
00:30:54 this world.
00:30:55 It's just, I can't even mark her, it's so bad.
00:30:59 It's the dumbest laugh God ever made.
00:31:02 But every time I hear on the phone one of her friends laugh, and I just smile in the
00:31:06 bedroom because my wife has a contagious joy.
00:31:09 And I say, "God, I'm so glad I got a happy wife.
00:31:13 I'm so glad."
00:31:14 I don't try to stunt that.
00:31:16 You know, sometimes people mad at you because they're not happy.
00:31:20 Your own spouse, "Why are you always laughing?
00:31:22 What's so funny?"
00:31:24 Because I'm happy and you're not.
00:31:25 You better call Dr. Phil or whoever you're going to call.
00:31:29 Ghostbusters, a pastor, Jesus, or somebody.
00:31:31 Laughing about it.
00:31:32 Did you know what I got?
00:31:33 Praise God.
00:31:34 Laughing about it.
00:31:35 And so, you know, God has given me, I'm a pastor, so of course I have a little bit of,
00:31:44 you know, the ability to talk and think sometimes quickly so I can make her laugh a lot.
00:31:49 And every time I make her laugh, I just love it.
00:31:51 When we laugh, we got inside jokes.
00:31:53 How many couples got inside jokes that nobody know but y'all do?
00:31:57 How many of y'all could be talking about somebody they don't even know y'all talking about?
00:31:59 Sitting right there at the table, you know, my wife can say something, I say, "Mm."
00:32:05 We both know what that is.
00:32:06 "Mm."
00:32:07 "Mm."
00:32:08 "Mm."
00:32:09 "Mm."
00:32:10 Yeah, whatever.
00:32:11 And people be looking at us, our kids, like, "You just don't know."
00:32:12 Yeah, we talk about our kids, they don't even know it.
00:32:15 We just be like, "Mm."
00:32:16 Hey, call me stupid.
00:32:18 Call me stupid.
00:32:19 I think it's a long life to never laugh.
00:32:23 That's good.
00:32:25 I think that's a long life to never laugh.
00:32:29 Yeah, I'm sick of this.
00:32:31 I'm sick of, we just here surviving.
00:32:36 We just trying to get along.
00:32:38 Well, you know, we just gone go on in together.
00:32:42 That's the...
00:32:43 Sound like...
00:32:44 Sound like...
00:32:45 Sound like...
00:32:46 I be working on the railroad.
00:32:47 I curse that in Jesus' name.
00:32:56 Yeah.
00:32:57 The joy of the Lord is my strength.
00:32:59 Yes, sir.
00:33:00 The Bible says, "Delight in the wife of your youth."
00:33:02 Stop.
00:33:03 Oh my God, I laugh, I laugh.
00:33:05 She's my best friend and I love it.
00:33:08 And I hope it's contagious when you look at me and, you know, so many things wrong with
00:33:13 me, I just happen to have a real good marriage.
00:33:17 And I think, watch this, God, I'm peeping this.
00:33:20 Did I tell you that sometime God overcompensates for where you've been undercompensated?
00:33:27 Sir.
00:33:30 Sometime we had a lot of mama and daddy stuff.
00:33:32 God love you so much, he'll give you a real good spouse.
00:33:35 And sometime when your marriage is real strong, your mother's a trip.
00:33:39 And sometime when your mother's great and your marriage is good, one of them kids.
00:33:43 Right?
00:33:44 If it wasn't for that little girl, our life would be perfect, but this girl keep us on
00:33:48 our knees.
00:33:49 If she would go on and get herself together...
00:33:51 So God tends to have...
00:33:52 You're like this, you may want to write it down.
00:33:54 I call it your grace place.
00:33:57 How do we know it?
00:33:58 Because Paul says, "I was given this thorn in the flesh."
00:34:01 And God said, "I'm not going to move it.
00:34:03 I'm going to have church for two seconds, but my grace is sufficient."
00:34:06 I wish I had 10 saved couples in here that would thank God for amazing grace.
00:34:12 Somebody watching online, type in the comments, "Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace."
00:34:18 And so for many of you, and then we'll finish, marriage is not easy.
00:34:24 Yeah, we're going to talk, let's talk.
00:34:28 You don't have our story.
00:34:29 It's not just laughing and kicking it.
00:34:31 It's like, it's work for y'all.
00:34:34 Based on his past and your past and your ex and his ex and the kids and the money stuff
00:34:39 and personality differences, you just don't flow.
00:34:44 You want to flow.
00:34:45 Maybe that's part of why you're here tonight.
00:34:47 This is what these marriage classes are about and the quarrelings and us in these groups.
00:34:50 I want you to get to that place.
00:34:53 And maybe, this is Bishop Joey, Bishop Joey, I kiss your face.
00:34:56 Papa told me this and it blessed my life.
00:34:58 He said, "Pastor Vernon, sometime you'll love this.
00:35:02 It is what it is."
00:35:04 In other words, he's saying there might be some place about your spouse that never quite
00:35:11 get where you want it.
00:35:14 Love them anyway.
00:35:17 After 27 years, I'm just not picking up my underwear.
00:35:21 Raise your hand, brothers.
00:35:22 Praise God, amen.
00:35:23 I tried to pick them up.
00:35:26 - You tried to pick them up?
00:35:28 - Three days straight.
00:35:29 Then I threw them down there again.
00:35:30 - Okay.
00:35:31 - And she's like, "Pick up your underwear."
00:35:32 I'm like, "But pay your bills."
00:35:33 Praise God, amen.
00:35:34 - You're crazy.
00:35:35 - I'll pay the bills.
00:35:36 You're going to pick up underwear.
00:35:37 We got a working agreement.
00:35:38 - I'll pick up those underwear, Pastor.
00:35:39 - It's in your best interest.
00:35:40 - And I ain't mad about it.
00:35:41 - It's hard out here.
00:35:42 - I ain't mad.
00:35:43 - I don't know what you're talking about.
00:35:44 - I'm talking about the best interest.
00:35:45 - Yes.
00:35:46 - I'm talking about the best interest.
00:35:47 - That's what I'm talking about.
00:35:48 - That's what I'm talking about.
00:35:49 - I'm talking about the best interest.
00:35:50 - It's in your best interest.
00:35:51 - And I ain't mad about it.
00:35:52 - It's hard out here.
00:35:53 - I ain't mad.
00:35:59 - My brother is here.
00:36:01 My brother, Elder Carr, and he said something to me, and this is levity and fun.
00:36:05 They won't mind me sharing this, but he's told me something.
00:36:07 He said, "Look, I've been married to your sister for 35 years.
00:36:10 She is not going to be on time.
00:36:12 I don't care what we do."
00:36:14 So I just bought her a car.
00:36:15 He said, "I learned 25 years ago, buy a car."
00:36:20 Then he had to lie to her and tell her everything starts an hour early when it starts.
00:36:23 Pray for him.
00:36:24 Praise God.
00:36:25 Amen.
00:36:26 If it starts at two, he got to say one.
00:36:27 I got the most beautiful sister in the world.
00:36:29 But listen, there are things that are lady versus me.
00:36:31 There might be some little thing about your spouse.
00:36:34 If your spouse got one thing, then get on the other end of his or her hand.
00:36:36 Praise God.
00:36:37 Now, tell them what it is right quick.
00:36:38 Go ahead so y'all can get free in Jesus' name.
00:36:41 Amen.
00:36:42 Amen.
00:36:43 All right.
00:36:44 All right.
00:36:45 We're wrapping up?
00:36:46 So let me say this about Laughter Bay.
00:36:51 So him and I often, quite often, he'll send me like different clips of movies from different
00:36:57 little rom-com movies that we have watched together.
00:37:01 Be intentional on watching a movie together.
00:37:05 You know, that's how you build relationships.
00:37:07 Be intentional to go out to the movies together.
00:37:11 Go out to dinner.
00:37:12 Just some practical things so that you can learn how to laugh again.
00:37:17 You know, so when him and I go out to dinner, we put our cell phones up.
00:37:21 We don't talk about issues that day.
00:37:25 Because sometimes you can go out to dinner and then you'll find yourself, you know, I've
00:37:28 been meaning to talk to you, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, because that's going to mess up the
00:37:32 whole date.
00:37:33 Now, I want to tell the truth because we're in church.
00:37:34 I put my cell phone up.
00:37:35 Well, I got kids.
00:37:36 And to all of you women whose kids are 39.
00:37:37 I got kids.
00:37:38 I got kids.
00:37:39 Well, the kids may need me.
00:37:42 The kids may need me.
00:37:45 I'm so tired of that.
00:37:46 But I put the phone right now.
00:37:47 Somebody might, you ever heard this one, somebody might die.
00:37:48 Church never said they'll be dead when we get back.
00:37:49 Go ahead and tell her right quick.
00:37:50 I promise to God they'll be dead as soon as we get home.
00:37:51 I promise to God they'll still be dead.
00:37:52 They will be.
00:37:53 They will be.
00:37:54 And so, thank you, baby.
00:37:55 Something practical.
00:37:56 No, you're good.
00:37:57 Who should put their phone up for date night?
00:37:58 Who's ever phone up for date night?
00:37:59 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:00 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:01 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:02 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:03 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:04 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:05 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:06 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:07 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:08 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:09 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:10 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:11 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:12 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:13 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:14 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:15 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:16 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:17 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:18 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:19 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:20 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:21 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:22 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:23 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:24 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:25 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:26 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:27 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:28 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:29 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:30 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:31 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:32 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:33 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:34 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:35 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:36 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:37 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:38 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:39 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:40 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:41 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:42 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:43 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:44 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:45 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:46 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:47 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:48 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:49 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:50 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:51 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:52 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:53 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:54 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:55 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:56 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:57 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:58 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:38:59 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:00 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:01 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:02 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:03 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:04 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:05 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:06 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:07 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:08 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:09 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:10 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:11 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:12 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:13 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:14 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:15 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:16 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:17 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:18 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:19 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:20 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:21 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:22 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:23 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:24 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:25 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:26 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:27 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:28 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:29 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:30 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:31 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:32 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:33 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:34 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:35 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:36 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:37 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:38 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:39 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:40 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:41 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:42 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:43 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:44 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:45 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:46 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:47 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:48 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:49 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:50 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:51 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:52 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:53 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:54 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:55 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:56 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:57 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:58 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:39:59 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:00 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:01 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:02 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:03 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:05 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:06 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:07 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:08 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:09 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:10 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:11 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:12 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:13 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:14 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:15 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:16 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:17 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:18 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:19 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:20 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:21 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:22 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:23 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:24 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:26 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:27 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:28 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:29 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:30 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:31 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:32 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:33 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:34 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:35 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:36 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:37 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:38 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:39 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:40 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:41 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:42 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:43 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:44 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:45 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:46 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:47 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:48 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:49 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:50 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:51 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:52 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:53 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:54 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:55 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:56 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:57 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:58 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:40:59 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:00 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:01 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:02 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:03 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:04 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:05 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:07 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:08 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:09 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:10 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:11 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:12 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:13 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:14 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:15 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:16 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:17 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:18 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:19 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:20 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:21 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:22 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:23 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:24 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:25 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:26 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:27 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:28 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:29 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:30 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:31 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:32 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:33 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:34 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:35 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:36 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:37 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:38 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:39 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:40 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:41 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:42 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:43 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:44 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:45 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:46 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:47 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:48 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:49 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:50 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:51 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:52 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:53 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:54 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:55 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:56 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:57 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:58 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:41:59 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:00 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:01 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:02 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:03 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:04 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:05 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:06 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:07 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:08 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:09 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:10 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:11 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:12 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:13 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:14 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:15 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:16 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:17 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:18 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:19 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:20 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:21 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:22 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:23 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:24 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:25 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:26 I'm going to put my phone up.
00:42:28 No shame in my game.
00:42:29 Amen.
00:42:30 Hey, there should be enough love making.
00:42:33 If one of you not satisfied, it's not enough love making.
00:42:37 That's in the Bible.
00:42:39 Yeah, if one of you not satisfied, it's not enough love making.
00:42:43 But if both of you are in your 50s now, 60s, whatever, and it's like, we good.
00:42:48 We travel.
00:42:49 We got money.
00:42:50 We own a house.
00:42:51 We make love when we make love.
00:42:52 It's not like it was when our kids were small or before then.
00:42:55 Others of you, it's still real.
00:42:57 It's still real.
00:42:58 The problem only becomes when one not satisfied.
00:43:02 So I think that love making is a critical thing and it should happen.
00:43:08 And by the way, I know Father Time, we were laughing yesterday.
00:43:12 How many of you know Father Time is coming?
00:43:16 But I'm going to swing on him every time he walk in the room.
00:43:18 Praise God.
00:43:19 I'm spitting on him.
00:43:22 I'm kicking him.
00:43:24 He going to win.
00:43:25 How many of you know he's going to win?
00:43:26 Praise God.
00:43:27 He's undefeated, Father Time.
00:43:30 But I'm kicking his behind.
00:43:32 That's good, babe.
00:43:33 And, you know, in our 20s, it was like you guys will see.
00:43:36 Seven-year age.
00:43:37 Seven years came, I wanted her even more.
00:43:39 Then 30s came, I wanted her even more.
00:43:42 40s and 90s, 50s, and some of you are here.
00:43:45 I think there's something about when you mature and maybe you paid a couple bills
00:43:51 and you have more emotional health, I think it gets better and better.
00:43:56 Do I have any people that feel like it's getting better and better?
00:44:00 And to those of you that's in your 60s, I'm not arrogant.
00:44:05 I've never been there.
00:44:06 But in my 50s, ain't nothing changed.
00:44:09 I love it.
00:44:10 I'm not trying to be dishonorable to her, but tonight we have to do it.
00:44:13 We have to help you understand.
00:44:15 I think a lot of that speaks to--Lady Vernon told me to make sure you do it too.
00:44:19 We got to do what we got to do to try to stay in shape to enjoy each other.
00:44:27 We can't eat ourself out of sex and unhealth out of sex.
00:44:33 Some of that is not God, it's bad diet.
00:44:36 Amen.
00:44:38 Which both of us are on that darn, you know, Peloton and lifting weights
00:44:42 and in that gym because I want to honor her long as I can.
00:44:47 Amen.
00:44:48 If she want it, I want to provide it.
00:44:53 I'm a provider.
00:44:56 Jehovah, call me Jaira.
00:45:02 Get out of here.
00:45:06 You was crazy.
00:45:07 Jaira.
00:45:08 Jaira.
00:45:09 No.
00:45:10 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:45:11 I'm not God.
00:45:12 Praise God.
00:45:13 Amen.
00:45:14 Y'all pray for us.
00:45:15 We need prayer.
00:45:16 Amen.
00:45:17 I'm praying with that in terms of from a female perspective because I want the
00:45:20 women to be free tonight.
00:45:21 Set them free, baby.
00:45:23 Tell them what to do.
00:45:25 Well.
00:45:26 Some of them need to know what to do.
00:45:28 Tell them, baby.
00:45:30 Speak from your heart.
00:45:31 No, you don't want me to.
00:45:33 My girlfriend's like, "Don't."
00:45:36 Yeah, look, she's saying no.
00:45:39 Because I believe in satisfying my husband.
00:45:42 Amen.
00:45:43 We're still at a place where we're intimate.
00:45:46 But I know that's not the case for everybody.
00:45:48 So intimacy looks different.
00:45:50 And I love what my husband has just said.
00:45:53 It's okay.
00:45:54 However, for me, I believe that lovemaking, I know that men operate by sight,
00:46:00 what they see.
00:46:02 So I often encourage women to get up and get dressed every day.
00:46:05 You know, to smell good, take a bath.
00:46:08 You know, no, that's real.
00:46:10 That would help.
00:46:11 Oh, that's so real.
00:46:13 Get up and take a bath.
00:46:15 Because, you know, you laying in a bed at night, you know, things can happen.
00:46:18 So you just want to make sure that things is fresh and everything is nice.
00:46:21 So, you know, y'all told me to be free.
00:46:23 All right.
00:46:24 Yeah, I told them, "Don't let me loose," because I want to tell the truth.
00:46:27 So my thing is dress nice.
00:46:30 Get up every day and put something on.
00:46:32 Not, you know, no white long T-shirt, but, you know, put on something that's appealing.
00:46:38 And that bonnet has a demon in it.
00:46:41 That bonnet got a demon in it.
00:46:43 I curse it.
00:46:44 I pray that it goes up while you're here.
00:46:47 Look at the brothers clapping.
00:46:48 It's demonic.
00:46:49 It is not demonic.
00:46:50 It is demonic.
00:46:52 And I don't care about your fake hair.
00:46:53 Let it fall out.
00:46:54 It's fake anyway.
00:46:55 I need you to put--it's fake anyway.
00:46:59 What you protecting it for?
00:47:02 Take that thing off until I'm sleep.
00:47:04 Raise your hand, brothers.
00:47:05 Praise God.
00:47:06 I want to be sleep until I'm sleep.
00:47:09 I don't want to see that thing.
00:47:10 And how about this?
00:47:11 Just the other night, I was tired.
00:47:13 I'll be hiding it.
00:47:16 I had the baby.
00:47:17 I'll throw it away.
00:47:18 I'm like, "Leave my bonnets alone.
00:47:20 I need my bonnet."
00:47:22 But how about this?
00:47:23 The other day--it works for me.
00:47:25 The other day, he just said, "Can you take your bonnet off?
00:47:27 Give me a couple hours."
00:47:28 So I got in bed.
00:47:29 I took it off.
00:47:33 I took it off.
00:47:35 Then he would ask me certain things like this.
00:47:37 "How about can you wear this?
00:47:39 I would like to see you in this."
00:47:40 I don't look at it as if he's not, "Oh, you trying to be funny or you seeing it on somebody else.
00:47:45 If you seeing it on somebody else and you thought it was cute and you want me to wear it,
00:47:48 I'm going to try it on and I'm going to wear it."
00:47:50 If that's what turns you on because you operate by sight, you know, the Bible talks about
00:47:55 everyone is not--what is it?
00:47:58 Large enough, mature enough for the largeness of marriage.
00:48:03 Everyone is not mature enough for the largeness of marriage.
00:48:07 The Bible said it takes a certain aptitude and grace.
00:48:13 So for him to come to me and say, "Can you put this on?
00:48:16 You know, I like when you wear some stilettos.
00:48:18 I like when you, you know, take your bonnet off."
00:48:20 To me, you know, a wise woman builds her house.
00:48:24 I'm trying to build something here.
00:48:26 I'm not going to tear it down with my own hands by being immature and silly.
00:48:31 Looking at him like, "Why you want me to put that on?"
00:48:33 "No, you want me to put it on? I'm going to put it on.
00:48:35 You want me to crawl across the bed? I'm going to crawl across the bed."
00:48:40 Let us all stand and praise God.
00:48:42 Not yet, not yet, not yet.
00:48:44 But that's me because the way I interpret the Scripture, I need to be mature.
00:48:52 And I know I'm the only one that get to satisfy him.
00:48:56 And I want to do it well.
00:48:58 I don't want him to be walking around and women, single women can smell that he hasn't been satisfied.
00:49:04 I want a single woman to be like, "Oh, I ain't even going to pull up on him because he good."
00:49:07 And yes, he is.
00:49:12 Amen?
00:49:13 Amen.
00:49:15 Amen, Reverend.
00:49:16 Amen, Reverend.
00:49:19 Ray said something to me.
00:49:21 He was telling me, and I thought, "Man, children watch everything."
00:49:24 He said, "Ray, I know something about mommy."
00:49:27 He said, "Since I've been a baby, every single morning she gets up and gets fully dressed."
00:49:32 He said, "That always amazed me.
00:49:34 Every single morning she gets up and gets fully dressed."
00:49:37 And even I'm amazed at that.
00:49:38 Like, man, you know sometimes you just ain't got it.
00:49:40 I ain't doing that today.
00:49:42 Every night takes a shower, every morning takes a shower.
00:49:44 It's the same way.
00:49:45 Maybe something Mother Williams put in them, but it's shower in the morning, shower at night, no matter what.
00:49:49 Fully dressed and cute.
00:49:51 And it's like in my 50s, I still wait for the fashion show every morning.
00:49:56 Like, every morning, nothing matters more to me than what she got on, which is deep.
00:50:00 Because I'm turned on by what I see.
00:50:03 Vis-a-vis women, most women.
00:50:05 Again, women care about you smelling nice, looking nice.
00:50:08 But again, as I keep teaching, women are about how you treat me, how you provide for me, how you speak to me.
00:50:13 Watch this.
00:50:14 Men are still about what they see.
00:50:16 And as a woman gets older, I know it's going to change.
00:50:20 At some point, we'll be 85, 90.
00:50:22 Things shift in marriage, so we don't want to be that small.
00:50:25 But if your husband -- and it's amazing, all the bros that claim that season over show up when somebody else walk by.
00:50:34 Yeah, so I challenge them because it's like, okay, whatever, you're still looking and whatever.
00:50:40 So we take the sexual part of our marriage very serious.
00:50:44 And she made a great statement.
00:50:46 You ready for this?
00:50:47 If you a Christian for real, you are your spouse's guide.
00:50:52 Till they die.
00:50:55 Get your head around that.
00:50:56 Get your head around that.
00:50:57 That's what challenges me to try to stay in shape and challenges her because she's all I get.
00:51:02 And I want to talk about this, and then we stop it.
00:51:06 Then I want to pray because in light of the people watching, I ain't teaching no fake stuff.
00:51:14 Never have if you know me.
00:51:16 But God knows the second half.
00:51:17 I'm coming straight because I'm on an assignment to smash the enemy.
00:51:22 Yeah, my book is to smash the enemy.
00:51:25 Yeah, to say stuff I've never heard no preacher say.
00:51:28 All the teaching on marriage in secular spaces is not righteous enough.
00:51:35 All the teaching on marriage in sacred spaces is not real enough.
00:51:40 So my call is to split the difference.
00:51:42 I want it righteous, but I want it raw.
00:51:45 Bros today got way more temptation than they even had in the 90s.
00:51:51 Even in the early 2000s, bro just trying to look at sports on his phone.
00:51:56 Don't have Instagram.
00:51:57 It's not on my phone right now.
00:51:59 I can't even handle it, and I love my girl.
00:52:02 Because stuff popping up, I'm like, wait a minute, I'm saved.
00:52:04 I'm not gay.
00:52:06 I'm saved, but I'm not gay.
00:52:08 And these women, that's all they do for a living.
00:52:11 They don't do nothing else.
00:52:13 [laughter]
00:52:16 Put on cute stuff and put a camera in front of them.
00:52:19 And your husband with a phone is supposed to be so saved he'll never look.
00:52:24 He's human.
00:52:25 She's human.
00:52:26 So we have to, number one, guard our hearts, as the Bible says.
00:52:29 We have to be grown enough to guard our hearts.
00:52:31 And sometimes when I'm trying to do stuff, because it's what I do for a living,
00:52:34 look at people watching now, social media helps me eat and feed her.
00:52:38 So I've got to do some of it.
00:52:39 But when I'm in it, my team knows I'm done.
00:52:41 Y'all just tell me.
00:52:42 Y'all post for me, but I'm not--y'all post for me.
00:52:45 Y'all like stuff for me, like all of my children across the country,
00:52:48 like their posts, but I'm out because I've got to guard my anointing.
00:52:51 And the only thing that can mess up what I've got is to look at something better.
00:52:57 The devil is real, everybody.
00:52:58 Yeah, that's good, babe.
00:52:59 And women, please don't get offended.
00:53:00 I'm talking from a straight-up bra perspective.
00:53:03 Women are fine.
00:53:04 They everywhere.
00:53:05 They do it--huh?
00:53:07 I said, no, you need to say that.
00:53:08 I need to say it.
00:53:09 No.
00:53:10 I have to say this because I think we skip over that.
00:53:15 Because you guard your eyes, you guard your gates, it keeps you attracted to me.
00:53:20 Of course, I have to do my part, but I love that you guard--I mean, when you see something--
00:53:25 you know, Pastor's so innocent, you know, not perfect, but innocent.
00:53:29 He'd be like, "Baby, look what popped up on my phone."
00:53:31 And I'm like, "What was you looking at before then that got in your algorithm?"
00:53:37 And what happened was I was looking at some scriptures, and Delicious from Minnesota just
00:53:44 jumped on my page.
00:53:45 I'm like, "Delicious from Minnesota?
00:53:47 Where's she from?"
00:53:48 But he exposes himself to keep himself, you know, accountable to me.
00:53:54 Wait, wait, wait.
00:53:55 No, no, no.
00:53:56 And then I want to say this.
00:53:57 No, no, no.
00:53:58 Let me say this first.
00:53:59 Okay, then I'm going to say something.
00:54:00 When don't nobody know but you and the devil, that's called bondage.
00:54:03 That's good.
00:54:05 So I don't allow none of that.
00:54:07 I keep my wife informed.
00:54:09 Look, watch her.
00:54:10 She said hi three times in a row.
00:54:11 You may want to scratch her, praise God, amen.
00:54:14 You know, she kind of being a little fast now.
00:54:16 That one right there, yeah, watch her.
00:54:18 Because you ain't going to never have nothing with me that her and I ain't together on.
00:54:22 That's good.
00:54:23 Yeah, yeah.
00:54:24 I'm on the phone with her and bros flirting while I'm on the phone.
00:54:27 "What's your name?"
00:54:28 She's like, "I'm Pastor Vernon's wife."
00:54:30 "Oh, I didn't know that.
00:54:31 I'm sorry, baby.
00:54:32 I didn't know that.
00:54:33 Tell him I said hi.
00:54:34 I'm like, "You look good, brother, like slick, negro."
00:54:36 They always say hi to you, though.
00:54:38 They do.
00:54:39 They say hi to you.
00:54:40 Okay, I want to wrap this.
00:54:45 And you come to bed smelling good, too.
00:54:47 That's important for men, too.
00:54:49 Don't just your wife smell good, but the bros, y'all need to smell good, too.
00:54:54 Just like I thought that in.
00:54:56 That only started about five years ago.
00:54:58 I was always clean, but I wasn't putting cologne.
00:55:01 I used to say, "Got all that cologne in your little church bathroom."
00:55:04 Every time you walk out, I smell cologne all in the sanctuary.
00:55:07 You come home, it's funky man.
00:55:09 Praise God, amen.
00:55:10 Funky man.
00:55:11 And from that day on, and watch this, and I changed my colognes about every six months.
00:55:19 Now that bath and body stuff, that ain't just for women, it's for men, too.
00:55:22 So I wash up with the soap, I put the same lotion on, and then the spray that comes with the pack.
00:55:28 Right?
00:55:29 I just helped 10 men right here, let me say it again.
00:55:32 Dominique bought me some recently.
00:55:34 I wash up, it's the same flavor.
00:55:36 Got the soap, the lotion, and the spray.
00:55:39 The same scent.
00:55:40 Same scent.
00:55:41 I don't eat it.
00:55:42 You don't eat it.
00:55:43 I'm trying, baby.
00:55:44 It's not a man thing right here.
00:55:46 But I'm telling you, because I wore Fahrenheit Obsession in Lagerfeld for 18 years.
00:55:53 Raise your hand, praise God.
00:55:54 Old school.
00:55:56 And it just hit me, she's tired of smelling that.
00:56:00 And sometimes men take that part for granted.
00:56:03 Who don't want to smell nice?
00:56:05 Who don't want to lay next to something that smells nice?
00:56:07 Right?
00:56:09 Every part of her always smells so perfect to me.
00:56:11 And it dawned on me, do I smell the same way?
00:56:14 Amen.
00:56:15 Did we help anybody tonight?
00:56:17 - Got one more.
00:56:18 Leanie.
00:56:19 You got to close with Leanie.
00:56:20 - The last one.
00:56:21 The last one.
00:56:22 And we got three minutes on the clock.
00:56:24 Perfect time, Leanie.
00:56:27 Because the reason why we're going to stay married, we started spiritual, we're going
00:56:31 to end spiritual, is because we're leaning on Jesus.
00:56:36 We're not taking for granted that we can't mess up.
00:56:40 A whole lot of my pastor's sons done something stupid.
00:56:44 A whole lot of leading ladies I cover have done something stupid.
00:56:47 Don't let the clergy color fool you.
00:56:48 We men and women first.
00:56:50 I don't hide behind this microphone.
00:56:52 I'm a man first.
00:56:53 She's a woman first.
00:56:54 And I don't take for granted, because I'm R.A. Vernon, that other brothers ain't shooting
00:56:58 shots.
00:56:59 I don't even want to tempt it by what nobody else say to her.
00:57:03 So I want to speak life into her.
00:57:04 She speak life into me.
00:57:06 But then we both got to lean on Jesus.
00:57:08 - That's it.
00:57:09 - Oh, this ain't religious rhetoric or theological jargon.
00:57:12 We pray together.
00:57:14 - Yeah.
00:57:15 - And to all the brothers who are not preachers, I don't care nothing about that.
00:57:18 You a man of God.
00:57:19 You lay your hands on that woman maybe for the first time in 40 years and say, "In the
00:57:23 name of Jesus, I speak life over you.
00:57:27 I pray for you.
00:57:28 And I ask God to bless your day.
00:57:30 In Jesus' name."
00:57:31 You can say that.
00:57:32 - You can say that.
00:57:33 - You don't have to be a deacon or an elder to say that.
00:57:37 You don't have to be a God that has a position in church.
00:57:39 For the first time, y'all got kids and grandkids that's grown.
00:57:43 You have never put your hands on her and let her hear you say, "Bless her now."
00:57:48 "In Jesus' name."
00:57:49 Come on, George.
00:57:50 I'm done.
00:57:51 Listen, I know that God is real.
00:57:55 - Yes, he is.
00:57:57 - Here's a scripture.
00:57:58 It's on the screen.
00:57:59 "Trust in the Lord with all your hearts and do not lean on your own understanding."
00:58:07 Don't lean.
00:58:08 Watch this.
00:58:09 You missed it.
00:58:10 The L, lean.
00:58:11 Don't lean on your own understanding.
00:58:13 Lean on his understanding.
00:58:16 We want Jesus.
00:58:18 So, we got to go to church together.
00:58:20 - That's it.
00:58:21 - We got to pray together.
00:58:22 We don't have couples devotion.
00:58:24 Let me free you.
00:58:25 I'm the pastor.
00:58:26 We don't have couples devotion every day.
00:58:29 We don't even have it every other day.
00:58:31 But about once a week, no matter what, we try to discuss a scripture and something together
00:58:37 and talk about God together.
00:58:39 Let's talk real so you can stick to it.
00:58:41 I pray every day by myself.
00:58:42 She prays every day by herself.
00:58:44 She has her own personal devotion.
00:58:45 I'm a very, very early guy.
00:58:47 So, it's hard to stick with me.
00:58:48 I may be up at four or five in the face of God.
00:58:51 So, she'll get up, get the kids straight, get them out.
00:58:54 Then we'll take time together.
00:58:57 99% of couples, do the research, who pray together don't get divorced.
00:59:05 - Yeah.
00:59:06 - That should have made somebody say, "Let's pray right now, baby."
00:59:11 Let me try that again.
00:59:13 99% of couples who pray together do not get divorced.
00:59:20 Don't let God out of your marriage.
00:59:23 And if you're here for the first time and you don't go to the Word, my brother, my sister,
00:59:28 God wants you to come tonight because as you see, you can be cool and fly and have fun
00:59:34 and still keep God first.
00:59:37 We want to put the sexy back in marriage.
00:59:39 - Yeah.
00:59:41 - Yeah, we want kids at the Word to be like, we want to be like them.
00:59:45 Instead of looking at all the people on Instagram and all the street people and the athletes
00:59:49 and can I get me 30 women.
00:59:51 I want young bros like, I want to be like Pastor Vernon.
00:59:54 I want to love my wife like that.
00:59:56 I want to get me one little cute, beautiful girl and love her in Jesus' name.
01:00:01 - That's good.
01:00:02 - God has called you to illustrate for your family because you're the only couple in the
01:00:06 family that stay together and not cheating on each other and actually kissing in front
01:00:12 of everybody.
01:00:13 Sit on his lap sometime in front of your children and your grandchildren.
01:00:17 Sit on his lap, let people see it's not fake and it's real.
01:00:20 We touch, we're not rigid and we lean on Jesus.
01:00:24 Have you been blessed by this Word tonight?
01:00:26 Have you been blessed?
01:00:27 You've been blessed.
01:00:29 [applause]