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AmusantTranscription
00:00 *Musique de Star Wars*
00:18 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:18 *Soupir*
00:20 *Voix de l'homme*
00:26 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:26 *Soupir*
00:27 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:31 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:39 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:40 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:40 *Voix de l'homme*
00:41 *Bruit de coup de feu*
00:41 *Voix de l'homme*
00:42 *Voix de l'homme*
00:42 *Voix de l'homme*
00:43 *Voix de l'homme*
00:43 *Voix de l'homme*
00:44 *Voix de l'homme*
00:44 *Voix de l'homme*
00:45 *Voix de l'homme*
00:45 *Voix de l'homme*
00:46 *Voix de l'homme*
00:46 *Voix de l'homme*
00:47 *Voix de l'homme*
00:47 *Voix de l'homme*
00:48 *Voix de l'homme*
00:48 *Voix de l'homme*
00:49 *Voix de l'homme*
01:05 *Voix de l'homme*
01:05 *Voix de l'homme*
01:06 *Voix de l'homme*
01:35 - C'est une belle vie ! - Il y a une érection garantie dans moins de deux minutes.
01:39 - Quoi ? - Mon nouveau bâtiment. J'y ai dormi la nuit dernière au bac.
01:43 - C'est notre réunion d'entraînement de campage pour hommes seuls dans le parc d'Algonquin.
01:47 - Une chance de s'unir avec la nature et de renforcer notre bonheur à travers la solitude.
01:52 - Et vous, notre meilleur membre de l'équipe, vous devez nous rejoindre.
01:55 - Vraiment ? Je ne sais pas, je ne suis pas vraiment un personne en extérieur.
01:59 - En tout cas, pourquoi c'est "seuls les hommes" ? - C'est une occasion de se toucher avec notre masculinité
02:03 sans la menace et l'intimidation de l'opposé sexe.
02:06 - Et nous aimerions aller faire du skinny dipping. - En plus, les femmes ont leur propre événement.
02:10 - Qu'est-ce que vous faites ce week-end ? - Ardra et moi allons à Vegas avec un sac de nickel.
02:14 - Être dans un palais de la grève et de la corruption,
02:17 quand on pourrait expérimenter la majesté de la nature rare.
02:20 - Bob, vous devez venir avec nous. - Je suppose que ce serait bien de sortir de l'office.
02:25 Une chance de renouer nos esprits intérieurs, comme il s'agissait.
02:28 - Et nous pouvons diviser le billet d'eau en trois parties.
02:30 - Bob, je vous garantis que vous reviendrez à vous sentir dix ans plus jeune.
02:34 - Salut, voisin. - Bonjour, Trevor.
02:41 - Margaret, je suis à la maison. - Bob, je veux parler avec vous sur les Tyler.
02:46 - Je ne suis pas sûre qu'ils sont vraiment d'accord. - Je suis sûr qu'ils feront un bon travail.
02:49 - Après tout, ils nous ont donné le meilleur estimat. - Non, ils nous ont donné le pire.
02:53 - Comme je disais. De toute façon, j'ai agréé de faire un campagne de hommes ce week-end avec Patel et Ed de la clinique.
02:59 - Quoi? Alors laissez-moi gérer le travail. - C'est un événement annuel, Margaret.
03:03 C'est une chance de se réunir avec Ed et Patel. - Oh, super. Se réunir.
03:07 - Et pourquoi ne pas juste mettre le tiling à l'arrêt jusqu'au week-end suivant?
03:10 - Non! Ce week-end, c'était un final de football. Le week-end avant, c'était le barbecue de Cookie et Melvin.
03:15 Je veux le sol maintenant. - Regarde, Margaret, qu'est-ce qui est si important?
03:18 Tu peux gérer ce travail toi-même. - D'accord. Va alors.
03:21 Va sur ton voyage de camp. Je vais me prendre soin du sol moi-même. - Oh, super.
03:28 - "Food for survival, line one, please."
03:31 - Camping? - Oui.
03:37 - Extrême? - Pardon?
03:39 - Extrême camping. Ou un week-end avec les chiens et le hibachi et la glace dans l'arrière-plan.
03:43 - Oh, je pense que... "extrême" est trop... Tu sais, "extrême".
03:48 Moder... Trop extrême, je pense.
03:51 - Oui, tu es assez "modérément extrême". - Oui, bien sûr.
03:54 - Ne regarde pas ça. Ce sont des blagues. Prends-moi un coup.
03:57 - Polyvinyl FlexTech. - Quoi?
03:59 - Ça respire. C'est la chose. Le matériel doit respirer.
04:02 - Pour un camping sérieux, moderatement extrême.
04:04 Légère, "extrême" pour le facteur chaud, avec le couvercle orange,
04:07 qui peut être vu dans le cas d'urgence. - "Urgence"?
04:10 - Tu auras besoin d'un costume de terrain. Des sacs, un compass, des couches thermiques,
04:13 des pantalons et des vêtements de grommettes dans chaque poche pour laisser l'eau sortir,
04:16 et ce sac à dos. Un écran alloy, légère. Ça respire aussi.
04:19 - Oh, tout respire. Oh, j'ai un couteau.
04:22 - Pas comme ça, mon ami. 3 couteaux, un screwdriver, un couteau, un compass,
04:25 un radio-climat, un détecteur sonore, et si tu tournes le bouton, ça joue de la musique.
04:28 - Pourquoi il joue de la musique? - C'est un Suisse, que peux-je dire?
04:31 - Je vais te dire ce que je vais faire.
04:38 Oh, Bessie! - Oh, je ne connais pas Trevor.
04:41 - C'est le matin paisible que j'ai passé à la plage de Miskaming,
04:44 la pluie, la lune, Bessie et moi,
04:48 et mon sac de 12.
04:50 - Ne me dis pas que tu vas nettoyer la garage!
04:53 - Je veux que tu l'amènes avec toi. - Quoi? La choix?
04:56 - La canoe! Pour moi et Bessie. Elle a le droit de sentir un coup d'eau
04:59 contre son bras encore, le goût de son bateau dans le choc.
05:02 - Oh, c'est vrai, oui. Peux-tu laisser ma main partir?
05:06 - Tu n'as pas oublié le repellent d'insectes? - Non.
05:11 - Le sunscreen? - Non. - La lotion de Calamine?
05:13 - Oh, as-tu aussi vendu mon nom dans mes pantalons, Margaret?
05:16 - Euh...
05:19 - Oh, mon Dieu!
05:22 - We're here because we're here,
05:25 because we're here, because we're here.
05:28 - Whoo!
05:30 - I'll just sort out the parking and we'll be on our way.
05:33 We'll be staying for three days.
05:35 - Yeah. - Three days of fresh air,
05:37 open skies and the call of the loon.
05:39 - 30 bucks. - Wow.
05:41 I could park downtown for that. - So park downtown.
05:44 You need any jerky, matches, bug spray, hair gel?
05:47 Analtypers?
05:49 - Uh, thanks? No.
05:51 - Oh, oh...
05:55 - Oh, dear, what have you got in there, Bob?
05:58 - Uh, just the essentials.
06:00 - Well, there you are.
06:02 Now let's get that canoe on your back and we're on our way.
06:05 - Come on, Bob. We've got a portage to the lake.
06:08 - In the footsteps of Samuel D. Champlain.
06:10 - Oh, this canoe's quite heavy.
06:13 - Not ours. It's made of a special alloy developed by NASA.
06:16 White as a feather.
06:18 - And costs a pretty penny, too.
06:20 - Oh.
06:29 - Mrs. Fish. - Oh.
06:31 I didn't want him to drop me prayers.
06:33 - Not prayer. Previsualization.
06:35 It's a technique we use in theater.
06:37 - Please, no more with the theater.
06:39 Two weeks in the Fantastics, it has been unbearable since.
06:42 - The Tehran Times said I was true star material.
06:44 - The Afghan Evening Star said you should be beheaded.
06:47 - He didn't say I should be beheaded.
06:49 He said he wouldn't be surprised if I was beheaded.
06:51 - Can we talk about tiling the floor?
06:53 - You cannot tile this floor. - What? What do you mean?
06:55 - It is not level. - Well, it looks level to me.
06:58 - You think we are from Yemen or something?
07:00 - You're supposed to tile the floor. - It's nothing, Mrs.
07:02 It's nothing. We level floor. - What?
07:04 - We jack up the house.
07:06 Iqbal, Rani, get the adjustable log-bearing struts.
07:13 - Ah, this is what it's all about, eh, Bob?
07:16 - Bob? - Hey!
07:18 How the bloody hell do you get this thing to go forward?
07:21 - Why didn't you tell us you had never canoed before?
07:24 - Well, I didn't think there was anything to it,
07:26 like riding a bike.
07:28 Well, come to think of it, I can't do that.
07:30 - Oh, my goodness.
07:32 - This is so peaceful. It's so good to get away
07:34 from the noise and clutter of our stress-filled lives,
07:36 to breathe real air, to sleep close to the ground,
07:39 as nature intended, to stare at the stars
07:41 and really appreciate who we are
07:43 and what we're doing here on God's Earth.
07:45 - Oh, you brought your cell phone. - Hold on.
07:48 - Hey, watch what you're doing!
07:50 This is not a vessel for standing in.
07:52 - I'm coming. I'm coming.
07:54 Hello? Hello?
07:56 Oh, the reception is bad here.
07:58 Oh, that's a bit better.
08:00 It's happening to the left.
08:02 Hello? Margaret, is that you?
08:04 No, no, my left.
08:06 - Ah!
08:08 - Bob? Baba? Are you OK?
08:10 What's going on?
08:12 - Margaret?
08:14 Are you there?
08:15 - They said the floor isn't straight.
08:17 They wanted to...
08:19 - No, it's no good. The line's breaking up.
08:21 Can't you figure it out for yourself?
08:23 I'm at one with bloody nature here.
08:25 Oh.
08:26 - Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that...
08:28 - Sorry.
08:34 - With footroom here and footing here like so.
08:39 Pythagoras would turn over in his grave.
08:41 - Whole house fall down. Pile of bricks.
08:43 - Oh, dear.
08:44 - Missus, could we please have some tea and rice cakes?
08:47 - Hey! What's going on out there?
08:52 - The sign in the kitchen!
08:54 - Oh, my! - What was that?
09:05 - It's nothing. How settling.
09:07 - Do you know Ranoofs owns the Damfors?
09:09 - What? No.
09:11 - Call to Ranoofs for baklava.
09:13 If you hurry, they'll be just coming out of the oven.
09:16 Tell them to put on a saps bill.
09:18 - Oh.
09:22 - Oh, stupid.
09:27 Damn, this thing is impossible.
09:31 - How's that fire coming in?
09:33 - Yeah, just firing her up now.
09:36 - So, where's the loo, anyway?
09:38 - Loo, Bob?
09:39 - Yeah, you know, the WC.
09:41 Or as you North Americans call it, the bathroom.
09:44 - We know what you mean, but we don't understand the question.
09:47 - I need to go to the loo.
09:49 And I was thinking of a shower, too, actually.
09:51 So, which way's the gents?
09:53 - Anywhere you like, Bob.
09:54 But just mark it with one of these yellow flags
09:56 so we don't step in it.
09:58 - What are you talking about?
09:59 - And I would advise you to make it quick
10:01 because mosquito bites on the bottom are not pretty.
10:04 - I've got to poo over a log.
10:06 - And this stuff is like gold dust on a camping trip.
10:09 You have to guard it with your life and keep it dry at all costs.
10:13 - I didn't bring any.
10:15 - Well, maybe you could spare a few sheets.
10:18 - You're getting yours loose.
10:20 - Oh, right. Yeah.
10:22 Are you joking?
10:24 Oh, come on, it's just a few sheets.
10:27 Oh, look, look, I've got some chocolate.
10:30 How about some chocolate for a few sheets?
10:33 Oh, for crying out loud.
10:35 - Whoa, boy, what the...
10:43 - Well, it's getting late.
10:45 Better get the provisions tied up
10:46 so old Rupert the Bear doesn't get them.
10:48 - But we have to tie the food up in a tree
10:50 or it might get eaten by bears.
10:52 You're kidding, right?
10:55 - Deadly serious, Bob. Bears like food.
10:57 - What, real bears?
10:59 They eat real people?
11:00 - Oh, yeah, Bob. This is Canada.
11:02 We got bears here.
11:03 Man, they can get hungry.
11:05 - Oh, my God.
11:06 - It's nothing to worry about.
11:07 Generally, they're pretty friendly critters.
11:09 - But if they do attack you,
11:10 you must roll over into the fetal position
11:12 and try not to breathe.
11:13 This way, they will assume that you're already dead
11:15 and probably leave you alone.
11:16 - Unless you've got a ham sandwich in your pocket.
11:18 Then they'll rip you to shreds.
11:20 - Oh...
11:22 [Grog snores]
11:24 - Hum?
11:32 - Oh, mon gré, ça va.
11:34 [Grog snores]
11:37 [Grog snores]
11:39 [Grog snores]
11:53 - Bob! Bob, wake up!
11:59 You've got to see this!
12:01 Look at this creature.
12:03 And you won't find one of these
12:04 on the sidewalk outside the clinic.
12:05 - No.
12:06 Not since they installed those security cameras.
12:08 - Look at its markings.
12:09 He's a sight to behold.
12:11 God's glory in the shape--
12:12 [phone rings]
12:14 - Hello? Hello?
12:16 The line is dead.
12:17 I can't hear you.
12:19 Margaret? What?
12:20 Oh, no, I don't care what type of grout.
12:23 Waterproof is probably best.
12:25 Yeah, I know it costs more,
12:27 but we might as well do it right.
12:28 Hello? Margaret?
12:30 - Yeah, the perception is really terrible here.
12:32 I mean, don't they think people need to communicate
12:34 in the wilderness?
12:36 - Time for breakfast!
12:37 - Mm, I'm starving.
12:38 - Bacon and eggs today,
12:39 pancakes and maple syrup tomorrow.
12:41 Oh, my gosh.
12:42 There are paw prints all over the place.
12:44 - [gasps]
12:45 All of our food is gone.
12:46 Three days' worth.
12:47 - A bear must have untied the rope.
12:49 - Ed, what kind of knot did you use?
12:52 - Well, just a simple slipknot,
12:54 but I don't think-- - A slipknot?
12:56 What kind of lunacy is that?
12:57 - Lunacy?
12:58 I didn't expect a bear to untie any kind of knot.
13:01 - You don't take enough care!
13:03 That's your problem,
13:04 just like at the clinic.
13:05 - I don't take enough care?
13:07 I treat my patients in half the time
13:09 because I'm not yacking so much!
13:11 - It is not yacking, my friend.
13:13 It is called having a personality.
13:15 - You're the loss leader here, Mr. Personality.
13:18 Bob and I are always having to take up the slack for you.
13:21 - W-well, just a minute.
13:22 - And what kind of bogus qualifications
13:24 do you have anyway?
13:25 I have never seen them.
13:26 You look on my wall.
13:27 I have a framed certificate.
13:29 - Well, la-dee-da.
13:31 - Hey, hey, let's calm down a minute.
13:33 This is getting out of hand.
13:35 A bear's taken our food, that's all.
13:37 We just have to find some more.
13:39 Look, there must be someone else
13:41 with their food tied up in a slipknot.
13:43 We just wait until dark and then, you know--
13:45 - No, no, no.
13:46 There's no one for miles.
13:47 We will have to forage in the woods for nuts and berries.
13:50 - Oh.
13:52 I would have preferred a bacon sandwich.
13:56 [musique]
13:59 [musique]
14:02 [musique]
14:05 - Oh!
14:06 - Oops.
14:07 - This is a waste of time.
14:09 Let's go back to the site and pack up.
14:11 - We've had a setback.
14:12 This is not a reason to run away.
14:14 I say we try a little further.
14:16 - I've had enough.
14:18 - I think we should head back too.
14:20 - Oh, it should be level.
14:28 - Um, they were out of pistachio,
14:30 so I got poppy seed and a walnut chichemick.
14:33 - That's what it's called.
14:34 Is that OK?
14:35 - Yes, yes. Put them down.
14:36 We must concentrate.
14:37 - We did not include the width of the shim
14:38 and the gradation of the slope.
14:40 - This is going to take longer.
14:41 - Oh, but my husband's coming home tomorrow,
14:43 and I want the floor to be finished.
14:45 - Women in their kitchens,
14:46 they know so little of the rest of the world.
14:47 Send for the jackhammer and the cement mixer.
14:50 - We bought new cement.
14:51 Next week, we come back and finish.
14:53 - But I need my kitchen floor finished this weekend.
14:55 [chatter]
14:57 - Stop!
14:58 No more excuses!
14:59 No more battle of that!
15:00 No cement, no jackhammer!
15:02 Tire the floor immediately,
15:03 or I'll get someone else to do it.
15:05 Where are you going?
15:07 - Use toilet.
15:08 - You just used toilet 10 minutes ago.
15:10 - Have smoke?
15:11 - No! No smoke!
15:12 I want this floor tiled,
15:13 and I want it tiled now!
15:14 Do you hear me?
15:16 - My God! Look at the weather!
15:27 - Let's get the site packed up!
15:29 - We have to leave before the storm hits!
15:32 - No! We must stay till after the storm.
15:34 It is madness to venture out into this weather.
15:36 - No! We risk being trapped here without provisions!
15:39 We have to leave now!
15:41 - Well, I'm not leaving,
15:42 and neither is my canoe.
15:44 - Then we'll go with Bob's canoe!
15:46 Come on, Bob! Give me a hand!
15:48 - Uh, right. Okay.
15:50 - Oh. Oh, messy.
15:56 - You've got the only canoe now.
15:59 - Hey! Get away from him!
16:02 - Hey! Hey! Hey!
16:04 This is getting a little out of hand.
16:06 - Give me that canoe!
16:08 - Don't you dare touch this!
16:10 - I just...
16:11 - You're hitting me!
16:13 - That canoe!
16:14 - Leave it!
16:15 - I can't talk!
16:16 - Over my dead body!
16:17 - That can be arranged,
16:19 Mr. Credentials-on-the-Wall!
16:21 - Ow!
16:22 - Hey! Fighting isn't going to solve anything!
16:25 - Stop this!
16:27 - Well, that canoe really is light.
16:32 - Oh, my God! The canoe!
16:35 - Come on! I'll hoist you up!
16:38 Get the damn thing off of the tree!
16:42 - Almost!
16:43 - Oh, God!
16:44 - Hey!
16:45 - This looks a little unsafe.
16:51 - Don't worry! This canoe was developed by NASA!
16:53 - What's NASA doing designing canoes?
16:56 - Help me!
17:05 - Hey!
17:11 Take my hand! I'll pull you in!
17:16 - I can't reach!
17:22 - Come on in!
17:24 Oh, what now?
17:26 Sorry! Just a second!
17:28 Hello? Robert?
17:30 This really isn't a good time!
17:32 What? I don't know!
17:33 Can't we wait until...
17:34 No!
17:35 - Bob? Bob, how high are you?
17:38 - Are you okay?
17:39 - Here we go!
17:40 - Bob! Bob!
17:42 We can walk along the shore!
17:44 The parking lot's about six miles from here!
17:47 - Okay! Here, then, it's not too far!
17:50 - Bob!
17:52 - He's beautiful!
17:54 - He's very nice!
17:55 - He's most beautiful flora in all Christendom!
17:58 - Backlover?
17:59 - Mrs. Fish is most benevolent employer!
18:02 - Woohoo!
18:09 - Hey! My lovely, beautiful car!
18:12 - If that doesn't separate the men from the boys,
18:14 I don't know what does!
18:16 - I have never felt more alive than when I was in the car!
18:19 - I have never felt more alive!
18:21 That was the best camping trip ever, eh, Bobby?
18:23 - Oh, yeah! Brilliant!
18:25 - I don't know, but I've been told!
18:27 - I don't know, but I've been told!
18:30 - Camping at night gets mighty cold!
18:32 - Camping at night gets mighty cold!
18:34 - Coffee and donuts are mighty fine!
18:36 - Coffee and donuts are mighty fine!
18:38 - I like to eat them all the time!
18:40 - I like to eat them all the time!
18:42 - Got a girl in O.T.O.!
18:44 - Got a girl in O.T.O.!
18:46 - She's waiting for me, we'll be back in a mo'.
18:49 [Musique]
18:52 [Musique]
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19:39 *Musique*