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00:00Dorothy, I'm home. Hazel, I'm home.
00:11Boy, it's 6.30. I'm two hours late getting dinner. You know, Mr. B don't like eating out of cans.
00:21Well, just tell him the truth, Hazel. Well, that's all right as a last resort.
00:25Now listen, we didn't commit any crime. George didn't want to see that movie.
00:29He said it was a woman's picture, so what else could we do but see it in the afternoon?
00:33Yeah, but when a man expects his dinner, I bet he gets hot.
00:36Well, I'm certainly glad to see you ladies have your coats on and are ready to leave.
00:40Oh, George, don't be so sarcastic. What do you mean sarcastic? Frankly, I didn't think you'd be ready to leave.
00:47When I called this afternoon to say I was taking everyone out to dinner, I couldn't get an answer.
00:51So I called the Blakes and I talked with Harold. I told him I wanted you to be ready promptly at 6.30.
00:56Well, you know us, Mr. B. You give an order, we hop.
00:59When you give an order, we jump. Oh, sure. It's the least we could do.
01:04Well, let's say I fully appreciate it. I really do.
01:09Hi, Dad. Hi, son.
01:11I wasn't able to give Mother and Hazel your message. They didn't get home until a couple of minutes ago.
01:16I saw them from the Blakes' window.
01:57TINETTI'S
02:10Tinetti's? I never heard of this place. Why should they want to open a place out here by the reservoir?
02:16Oh, you've heard me talk about Tinetti's? He used to have the coffee shop downstairs in my office building.
02:21Oh, yes, of course.
02:23For years, I've urged him to open a real restaurant, and about six months ago, he did.
02:26He invited me to the opening, but something came up.
02:31Hey, they even have candles here.
02:34Is this pretty? Oh, boy.
02:36Beautiful. Oh, it's lovely, George.
02:41Why, Mr. Baxter, hello. Oh, Maria.
02:44It's been years. No, only six months.
02:47Maria, I want you to meet my family.
02:49Hi, Maria. Hi, Mr. Baxter.
02:51Maria was in the coffee shop of Mr. Tinetti's, what he had in my building.
02:55Oh. And Mr. Baxter was my favorite customer.
02:58He used to come down for coffee two, three times a day.
03:01With a waitress as pretty as you are, I'm surprised you didn't come down more often.
03:04Sometimes I did.
03:07Where's Mr. Tinetti?
03:09In the kitchen.
03:11Would you tell him that I'm here?
03:13Of course, but I doubt if he'll know what I'm talking about.
03:17He's having a nervous breakdown.
03:19What? Well, it's the next thing to it.
03:23See that man over there?
03:28Do you know who that is? No.
03:31It's Alexander Templeton.
03:34Oh, the guidebook man. That's the one.
03:37What's a guidebook man?
03:39Mr. Templeton recommends places for tourists to eat.
03:42I know because one of our clients publishes his book.
03:45And he's a very persnickety character.
03:47He won't give any restaurant a gold seal unless he's eaten there and likes it.
03:51That's all he does, just travel around the country,
03:54eating his way from one state line to the other.
03:56Gee!
03:58Sort of like your dad in the refrigerator, huh?
04:02Mr. Tinetti went to pieces when he came in.
04:04Believe me, Mr. Baxter, this place needs his recommendation.
04:08Oh?
04:09You see, it's the location.
04:11It's too far out for the people in town,
04:13and the tourists, well, they generally stop at a place Mr. Templeton recommends.
04:18By the way business is, I don't think Mr. Tinetti can stay open another month.
04:22And it all depends on Mr. Templeton.
04:25Oh, there's Mr. Tinetti.
04:27I'll tell him that you're here. Excuse me.
04:44Mr. Baxter.
04:46Hello, Mr. Tinetti.
04:48Oh, I don't believe you've met my family.
04:50My wife.
04:51How do you do?
04:52How beautiful she is.
04:54Hazel Burke, our housekeeper.
04:56It is not fair.
04:59One man with two beautiful ladies in the house.
05:02Remind me to buy a pair of rubber gloves going home.
05:04I ain't gonna wash this hand for a week.
05:07And I'm not going to.
05:09I ain't gonna wash this hand for a week.
05:12And our son, Harold.
05:14Handsome like his father.
05:16But please, please, please sit down, Mr. Baxter, please.
05:19Ladies, Mr. Baxter.
05:21Order whatever you wish.
05:23You are my guest.
05:25No, no, Mr. Tinetti, we're regular customers.
05:27You are my guests.
05:29Why, it was you who gave me the idea to open this beautiful place.
05:33Thanks to you, I have the dreams of my life.
05:35Never in my life have I been more happy.
05:37Nothing could be more perfect.
05:55Never have I had such success.
05:57Right this minute, it is not so crowded.
06:02That is because people eat later than they used to.
06:05Two hours from now, I shall have a plush rope across the door.
06:09Unfortunately, some people will have to wait because I have so many reservations.
06:17Never have I had such success.
06:20So, of course, naturally.
06:23Obviously, you are my guest.
06:25Very still.
06:27You let me order for you.
06:30I know what is best, huh?
06:36What do you mean you ain't gonna do nothing to help Mr. Tinetti?
06:39I didn't say I wouldn't do anything.
06:41I merely said I couldn't go out there to eat every night because that would put you out of a job.
06:45However, I will mention the place to all my friends.
06:47Mention it? That man needs help.
06:50And he needs it fast.
06:52George, you're the attorney for the Williams Publishing Company, aren't you?
06:57Yes.
06:58Well, they publish the Templeton Restaurant Guide.
07:00Why don't you have Mr. Williams get you and Templeton together so you can explain the whole thing to him?
07:04Yeah, explain that Mr. Tinetti got so nervous that he put hollandaise on the steak and steak sauce on the asparagus.
07:11If I knew where Mr. Templeton was staying, I'd go see him myself.
07:15I was waiting for you to say that.
07:17I'll find out.
07:18After the way he behaved tonight, I think Mr. Templeton has something like you coming to him.
07:30You're Mr. Templeton.
07:47Madam, you didn't get me off my bed of pain to tell me who I am.
07:50I know who I am.
07:51I consider myself very well informed.
07:53Oh, well, I mean you're the great Mr. Templeton, the famous Mr. Templeton.
07:57I never yet met a person who indulged in excessive flattery, who wasn't trying to sell me something, borrow something, ask a favor, or persuade me to invest in a cemetery lot.
08:06In which of those categories do you fall?
08:08I'm Hazel Burke.
08:09Don't you recognize me?
08:10Should I?
08:11Well, I had dinner last night at Mr. Tinetti's restaurant.
08:14And you're still alive.
08:15Congratulations.
08:17I saw you.
08:18I guess you didn't see me.
08:20I just dropped by because I have some information I thought you ought to know.
08:24Can I come in?
08:25Certainly not.
08:26This is a hotel suite, not an information booth.
08:29Pardon me.
08:35Hello.
08:36Oh, good morning, Mr. Williams.
08:39Yes, the new edition of my guide is now complete.
08:42It's right here on the desk.
08:44I just completed describing a new restaurant I visited last night.
08:50I'll go to press immediately.
08:52I'll join you for dinner at your apartment tonight.
08:55Well, I had a tentative engagement for a hunger strike.
08:59But I'll accept.
09:05Mr. Williams, may I call you back?
09:08Yes, in about two minutes.
09:12If you forgot to bring your periscope with you, why don't you just come on in?
09:16Oh, thanks.
09:20Madam, I was being sarcastic.
09:22Oh, yeah, I know you were.
09:24People with stomach trouble always act like that.
09:26And from the medicine you have here, I can see what your trouble is.
09:29But I got a better suggestion.
09:31I know what you're selling, Cemetery Lutz.
09:33No, it's an old yogi exercise that presses all the blood from your stomach into your head against your pituitary gland.
09:40I don't even have one.
09:41They went out in the 20s.
09:42Oh, everybody has.
09:43Now, I tell you what you do.
09:45You lie down flat on the floor on your back, you know, and you spread out your arms parallel with your body.
09:51And then you hold your hands still, but you raise your feet up slowly over your head until your toes touch the floor.
10:01And you just put a...
10:05Finish.
10:17And Mr. Templeton wouldn't even listen to you?
10:20Oh, he's one of these men that likes listening to his own voice.
10:23He only uses words six feet long.
10:26Boy, him and the dictionary is one of history's great love affairs.
10:30Dorothy.
10:31Well, hello, dear.
10:33George, what are you doing home in the middle of the day?
10:36Well, I went out this morning to get Tenetti.
10:38I drove him to his bank to try to get an extension on his loan with no luck whatsoever.
10:42Oh, you was going to help Mr. Tenetti, too?
10:44Well, now, don't look so amazed.
10:46You aren't the only person in the world who tries a halo on for size.
10:49We were coming back this way, so I decided to stop here for a cup of coffee.
10:53Oh, I'll get the fire under it right away.
10:55Good.
10:57Come on in the kitchen, Mr. Tenetti.
11:01Mr. Tenetti, George told me what happened. I'm awfully sorry.
11:05If I could only go back to Italy.
11:07Oh, now, now, don't say that.
11:09But I can't go back to Italy.
11:11I was born in America.
11:13I haven't even got a place to go back to.
11:15Look, what if Mr. Templeton changed his mind
11:18and went back again to Mr. Tenetti's restaurant and had a wonderful meal?
11:22My chef quit last night.
11:24Well, I'll say one thing for your luck. It's all bad.
11:27Mr. B, suppose Mr. Templeton did go back to Mr. Tenetti's restaurant again tonight
11:33and had a wonderful meal and wrote about it in his book.
11:36You saw him this morning?
11:37Yeah.
11:38You talked him into going back?
11:39No.
11:40Well, what are you talking about?
11:41Mr. B, who makes the best cold beet soup in town?
11:44Beef broth and beet juice half and half
11:47with chopped beets and chopped cucumbers and dill and sour cream.
11:51Who does that, huh?
11:52You do.
11:53And who makes the best pan broiled lamb chops?
11:55Pan broiled with guava jelly.
11:57You do.
11:58Right. And who makes the best string bean and tomato and red onion salad?
12:02Flo.
12:03Right. And who, huh?
12:04Flo down the street.
12:05Oh, well, I got the recipe from her, so let's give credit where credit is due.
12:11But who makes the best banana dessert?
12:13Sautéed bananas sprinkled with sugar and flambéed with rum.
12:17Well, you claim you do, but honestly, I believe your friend Mert does better.
12:20Well, maybe that's because her folks give her a higher class of rum than the kind you get at a sale.
12:25Hazel, what are you driving at?
12:27I'm coming to that point.
12:28Hooray.
12:29Suppose Mr. Templeton was to get a meal like that?
12:32Oh, he'd think he was in heaven.
12:34He would be in heaven. He'd rave.
12:36But how would you get him out there to eat it?
12:38He'll never come back. Never.
12:39Oh, Mr. B will attend to that.
12:42How?
12:43Well, when I was at Mr. Templeton this morning, your publisher friend, Mr. Williams, called up and invited him to dinner.
12:49So all you've got to do is to call Mr. Williams and invite them here.
12:53You just said he was having dinner at his house.
12:55Well, his cook has suddenly took sick.
12:57What's the matter with her?
12:59I haven't decided that yet.
13:01You know her?
13:02Oh, sure. She's an old friend of mine. She'll come down with anything I say.
13:05Hazel, I don't know what you're talking about.
13:07But if you want Mr. Templeton to go to Tenetti's restaurant, why should I invite him here?
13:12Because that's the only way to get him to Tenetti's.
13:14Oh, well.
13:16That's the tricky part, so you better leave that to me.
13:23Oh, it's just heaven.
13:25Oh, bless you. And bless you, Mert, for helping me out.
13:28And bless Henrietta, too.
13:30Who's Henrietta?
13:31She's the cook for Mr. Williams, the publisher.
13:33You know, it ain't every friend that'll come down with bronchopneumonia like that at such short notice.
13:38Well, you're just lucky it's Thursday, our day off.
13:40Any other time, we couldn't have done it.
13:42Uh-oh.
13:43That'll be Mr. Williams in the walk-in dictionary.
13:46Aren't you going to answer the door?
13:47No, no. If he sees me, everything's up.
13:50No, everything has to be calm and smooth and natural.
13:54Hello, Mr. Williams.
13:55Hello, George.
13:56You've met my wife, I believe?
13:58Yes, of course. How are you, Mr. Baxter?
13:59How do you do?
14:00Oh, I'm so glad you could come.
14:01Where's Mr. Templeton?
14:02Oh, he's taking his time crossing the lawn.
14:04He has a hard time walking, and he said the grass is much softer.
14:08It seems that this morning he was taking some sort of a yogi exercise,
14:12and he claims that something fell off his spine.
14:14Fell off his spine?
14:16Well, what could fall off?
14:18He claims it was his pelvis.
14:24Please, don't make a fuss over me.
14:27It's nothing that six months in an iron corset won't cure.
14:31Mr. Templeton, this is George Baxter, my attorney, and Mrs. Baxter.
14:35How do you do?
14:36How do you do?
14:37How do you do? It was very kind of you to invite me,
14:39although, frankly, I'd much rather have had dinner with a good osteopath.
14:42It is quite a coincidence you're inviting us.
14:45We were going to have dinner at my place, but my cook was suddenly taken ill.
14:48Oh, well, I'm sorry. I hope it's nothing serious.
14:51Well, she insists it's bronchial pneumonia,
14:54but my doctor examined her, and he thinks it's more likely a virus.
14:57A word coined by the medical profession, meaning your guess is as good as mine.
15:03Well, won't you come in the living room?
15:07Hazel, what's this?
15:09Oh, that ain't nothing, but look.
15:11Look, my crescent rolls.
15:13They're nearly finished.
15:15They're the best they ever turned out.
15:17If Mr. Templeton don't fall for these, you better retire from the eating business.
15:21Mm, scrumptious.
15:22Hazel, if the mess in that pot is nothing, why are you heating it?
15:25Oh, it's just some old food scraps.
15:27Well, why are you heating them?
15:28I ain't heating them. I'm burning them.
15:30What?
15:31That's part of the plan to get them to Tonetti, see?
15:33After they start burning, Mr. B smells them in the other room,
15:36and then he sort of sniffs around and says,
15:38Don't you smell something burning?
15:39And they all say yes.
15:40So then he comes running out to the kitchen.
15:42That's a boss for you, all right.
15:44Yeah, let something go wrong, and they all come tearing out to the kitchen.
15:47Sure, and then he goes back and apologizes for his cook burning the dinner,
15:51but he says he has a wonderful place to take them.
15:53Of course, he don't mention the name, so that's how we get them to Tonetti's.
15:56Neat, huh?
15:59There you are, Mr. Williams.
16:00Thank you.
16:03What's the matter, George?
16:04Do you smell something burning?
16:07No.
16:08Well, that's strange.
16:09I thought, sure, I smell something burning.
16:11Well, I suppose there ain't nothing we can do till it starts burning.
16:14Oh, you better get this all over to Tonetti's.
16:17I'll help you with it out to the car.
16:19Yeah.
16:20Boy, I wish I knew what was going on in that front room.
16:25You're sure you don't smell something burning?
16:28No.
16:29No, I don't.
16:30Hmm, that's strange.
16:33Darling, you try.
16:50Mr. Baxter, you make a very fine martini.
16:53Thank you.
17:04That one made a deeper impression on me than I thought.
17:07Oh, another martini, Mr. Templeton?
17:11No, thank you.
17:12But may I say, Mr. Baxter, that you're wasting your time in the legal profession.
17:16With your extraordinary talent, you should be a bartender.
17:20Ha, ha, ha.
17:28Burn, darling, burn!
17:46Now do you smell something burning?
17:49Yes, now I do.
17:50Well, maybe I better go into the kitchen and investigate.
17:52Yes, George, you better do that.
17:59Hey, sir.
18:01Perfect. Just perfect.
18:19Thanks.
18:22Oh, they're on their way. I got a head start.
18:25Hi, Mr. Tenetti.
18:26Hello, Hazel.
18:27Now, these are the lamb chops and the guava jelly.
18:29And you better stop them, because they take a little while broiling.
18:32And this is my famous beet soup.
18:35Oh, the salad's ready.
18:37Oh, good.
18:39Hazel, where are the rolls?
18:40Yes, where are the crescent rolls?
18:42If either one of you don't want to get hurt, don't ever mention that word rolls to me again.
18:49Oh.
19:02Tenettis.
19:04We refer to it as the lure of the epicure.
19:06It's like eating paradise on toast.
19:09Mr. Williams, when my restaurant guide comes off the press,
19:13please rush a complimentary copy to Mr. Baxter by special messenger.
19:17Better still, call him on the phone and read it to him.
19:43Mmm.
20:13Mmm.
20:38Mmm.
20:44Mmm.
20:55Without a doubt, that was the most delicious dinner I ever tasted.
21:00Hazel will have me on a reducing diet for the next ten years.
21:03Hazel, our cook and housekeeper.
21:05Will you recommend this restaurant in your new guidebook?
21:08I shall not only recommend it, but if you will excuse me for a moment,
21:12I shall go out to the kitchen and personally present my compliments to the chef.
21:17I shall prostrate myself before him and bow as toward Mecca.
21:24Ladies, I don't know how to thank you.
21:27Oh, don't thank us yet.
21:29We don't know for sure that you'll be in his book.
21:31I will be. I saw the look on his face.
21:36Here you are, Mr. Tenetti.
21:37Here's my recipe for those bananas.
21:39Oh, and here's my recipe for the salad he likes so much.
21:42Boy, we sure threw him a curve across his plate tonight.
21:46Hazel.
21:47He was swinging his fork around like he was Willie Mays.
21:50Hazel.
21:51He talks big and loud, but he ain't so smart if he don't know the difference between home-cooked food and restaurant.
21:58Here's my recipe for cold beets.
22:08George, do you think he'll say anything about Tenetti's restaurant in his new guidebook?
22:13Certainly not.
22:14There are laws against that sort of thing.
22:16But please, let's not talk about it. Let's not even think about it.
22:19Well, what will we think about?
22:21Well, I don't know. I'm sorry.
22:23We tried hard, but you can't win them all.
22:25That's one of the laws of life.
22:26Oh, yeah?
22:28Well, that's the only law I got my heart set on busting.
22:37What is it, Hazel?
22:38Oh, it's for Mr. B. It comes special messenger.
22:47Oh, it's a new Templeton restaurant guide.
22:49Fresh off the press from Mr. Williams.
22:53Does he mention Tenetti's place?
23:00Not even listed.
23:02It figures.
23:03George, have you talked to Mr. Tenetti lately?
23:06No.
23:07I just haven't had the heart to.
23:09This is the end of the month. That's when he's supposed to close, ain't it?
23:13Yes.
23:14You know, maybe we all ought to go out there for dinner tonight.
23:17It wouldn't be the happiest occasion in the world, but we...
23:20Yeah, I know what you mean, but we ought to be there at the end.
23:25Mr. Baxter!
23:26Please let this bucket through, if you please.
23:28This way, Mr. Baxter.
23:31Please, come in. Come in.
23:33You don't need a reservation.
23:35I will give you the very best table, even if I have to put you on the laps of complete strangers.
23:39As a matter of fact, I just fixed this one.
23:42Mr. Tenetti, what happened?
23:44Don't you know?
23:45Know what?
23:46That night that Mr. Templeton was here, there was also a columnist from the newspaper.
23:50I served him some of the food Hazel and her friends cooked, and he wrote a rave review for me in the newspaper.
23:57Oh, I didn't read it. Sometimes I don't get a chance to read the newspapers.
24:00Our dog likes to chew it up.
24:02I thought you knew.
24:03Every night, crowds like this behind the flash rope.
24:07I don't need the tourists. The people drive out from town.
24:10Oh, Mr. Tenetti, I'm so happy for you.
24:13Let me show you the menu.
24:15Beet soup a la Hazel.
24:17Lamb chops, hazel tea.
24:18Banana flambe a la Mert.
24:20Salad a la Flo.
24:23Let's see.
24:24Beet soup a la Hazel.
24:26Lamb chops, hazel tea.
24:28What do you know about that?
24:29I bust it into print.
24:31See, I'd like to have a couple more from my scrapbook if I could.
25:01This has been a Screen Gems film production.
25:31© SCREEN GEMS 2015