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AmusantTranscription
00:00🎵
00:24I love you horse !
00:26🎵
00:27Comme vous pouvez le voir de l'anneau derrière moi qui dit Joyeux Manhood
00:32C'est un jour très spécial !
00:34Jerry a perdu sa virginité ! Félicitations mec, tu l'as fait !
00:37Non je ne l'ai pas fait. Je veux dire, je l'ai fait il y a longtemps.
00:39Ah vraiment ? Quel était son nom ?
00:40Zip it ! Aujourd'hui ce n'est pas à propos de vous deux !
00:42C'est à propos d'un petit gars spécial nommé Benny !
00:45Viens ici, toi qui mange un peu de corps, Benny !
00:47Pourquoi tu me lèves une fête de Manhood, vieux homme ?
00:49Tu es toujours le premier mortier quand un garçon devient un homme !
00:52C'est vrai ! Il y a différentes façons de mesurer le Manhood !
00:55Il y a des années d'horlogerie et des années de calendrier !
00:58Aujourd'hui, Benny, tu es 7 ans !
01:00Je suis 7 ans ? Je suis vieux !
01:03Et avant que tu croisses cette brèche dans le monde de l'homme pour toujours,
01:07nous avons encore une pièce de Manhood pour toi !
01:09Laissez-moi tranquille, mon nez ne peut pas prendre cette pression !
01:12Les piñatas ne parlent pas, garçon !
01:14Les chiens d'étoiles !
01:16Mon cœur !
01:17Bonjour tout le monde !
01:18Est-ce que j'ai le meilleur test de manière démographique pour un homme ?
01:22Oui !
01:23Aujourd'hui, tu es un homme !
01:24Et c'est l'heure de partir !
01:25Tu m'as manqué, Mr. Larity !
01:26Pour mourir ?
01:27Est-ce que j'ai l'honneur de te tuer ?
01:29Non, garçon !
01:30Quand je meurs, c'est à ma main !
01:32Comme mon grand-père !
01:34C'est toi qui va partir aujourd'hui !
01:36Descends dans le caddie !
01:37J'ai une surprise pour toi !
01:41Tu veux voir un truc magique ?
01:42Donne-moi ce sac géant que je t'ai acheté !
01:44Maintenant, regarde ça disparaître !
01:46Mon gars, c'était mon seul verre !
01:48Si je meurs dans cette brèche,
01:50s'il vous plaît,
01:51enlevez mes pantalons
01:52et prétendez que c'était une asphyxiation auto-érotique.
01:55Je veux que ma mère sache que je n'ai pas mouri.
02:01Je vais tomber sur mon premier verre, honorable père !
02:03Non, Benny !
02:04Le cadeau que je t'ai donné est meilleur
02:06que l'enfoiré !
02:07Si tu peux croire ça !
02:08C'est un petit truc que j'aime appeler la liberté !
02:10Pourquoi tu dis que tu es libre, Benny ?
02:12Tu vas me tirer dans le dos ?
02:13Non, garçon !
02:14C'est juste qu'à 7 ans,
02:16tu quittes la démographique que ma compagnie de jeux
02:18targete avec ses jeux vidéo inappropriés.
02:21Ce n'est pas que je ne t'aime pas,
02:23c'est juste que je n'ai plus d'utilité pour toi.
02:25C'est vrai que le siège d'un déjecté
02:27coûte bien pour lui-même !
02:34Envoie mon verre,
02:35met un couteau sur mon verre
02:36et appelle-moi Richard Simmons !
02:38Comment t'es revenu ?
02:39Tu ne m'as jamais éliminé, Benny !
02:40Je suis pire que tes herbes !
02:42Hey, Benny !
02:43Ferme ta bouche, garçon !
02:44J'espère que personne n'a entendu ça !
02:49Je peux être haut,
02:50mais tu ressembles à Todd.
02:51Seulement plus gay et plus fat.
02:53J'ai dit gay, n'ai-je pas ?
02:54Je le vois aussi !
02:56Merde !
02:57Hallucinations partagées !
02:59Dave !
03:00Peut-être que nous devions être plus que des amis !
03:03Je rigole, bien sûr !
03:05Chris, qu'est-ce que tu fais ici ?
03:06Je ne savais pas que tu étais à la ville !
03:08Todd ! Mi hermano !
03:09Je t'ai manqué, mon ami !
03:11Merde !
03:12Tout le monde, rentrez ici !
03:13Todd a un amant et il est bilingue !
03:15Et c'est l'un de ces relations bizarres
03:16où ils se vêtent et ressemblent ?
03:18Comme des lesbiennes avec des pénis !
03:20Lesbiennes !
03:21Non, les boyzbiennes !
03:23Merde, il doit y avoir un mot pour ça !
03:24Quand je t'ai dit d'aller t'en, Todd,
03:26je ne t'attendais pas à la mort !
03:27Est-ce que tu es un autre ami de Todd's Venture ?
03:29Il va s'échapper !
03:30Tu peux me laisser tranquille ?
03:31Avec plaisir !
03:33Tu vas bien, frère ?
03:34Frère ?
03:35Oui.
03:36Tadios est mon petit frère.
03:37Oh mon Dieu !
03:38Todd date de son frère !
03:39Ils sont lesbiennes !
03:41Oh, ce mot est génial !
03:43Je suis un génie !
03:44Qui a ordonné au gros gars de jouer ?
03:45Il n'est pas un joueur, mais c'est vrai.
03:47Il est mon frère.
03:48Et il pense que c'est cool
03:49de fournir des papiers sur un unicycle.
03:51Quel nerd, non ?
03:52Est-ce vrai ?
03:53Bien, il a raison !
03:54C'est cool, putain !
04:00Quelle est ta route, Unitar ?
04:02Ma route, c'est le monde.
04:03Le Himalaya,
04:04le Mojave,
04:05l'Amazon, la Detroit,
04:06le downtown de San Jose.
04:07J'ai tout écrit dans mon temps.
04:09Putain, c'est fascinant !
04:11Tu as déjà écrit une autobiographie ?
04:13Tu sais, quelque chose d'inspirant,
04:14comme « Oui, je peux » par Sammy Davis Jr.
04:17Je peux t'assurer, monsieur,
04:18que la vie d'un papier
04:20n'est pas aussi intéressante que mon propre vie,
04:23comme un scientifique de l'imagination.
04:26Todd, ferme-la !
04:27Ta voix me tue.
04:29J'ai une bonne idée.
04:31Pourquoi ne pas faire un jeu sur Chris ?
04:33Je pense que Todd aimerait ça.
04:36C'est l'opposé de ce que j'aimerais.
04:37Bonne idée, Davey !
04:38On va faire un jeu
04:39sur ce jockey d'une roue,
04:41et c'est tout.
04:42Freddy, tu es le développeur.
04:43J'aimerais rester et travailler avec mon petit frère,
04:45mais les jeux sont dans le domaine de Todd.
04:47Oui, ce serait une horrible intrusion.
04:49Je vais te montrer une horrible intrusion.
04:51Mr. Larrity, c'est ça
04:52ou ce n'est pas une affaire familiale ?
04:54L'inceste est le meilleur, non ?
04:55Si j'avais une sœur,
04:56j'allais la tuer !
04:57Et j'ai bu assez d'eau pour savoir
04:59que c'est plus sec que de l'eau.
05:00Et un bon mélange avec le ciel.
05:02Les familles devraient venir d'abord.
05:03Oui !
05:04Unicard News Boy est en train de se débrouiller.
05:06Plus pour sûr
05:07que la morticiannelle Marilyn Monroe.
05:09Sortez de mon chemin, bâtards.
05:10J'ai un enfant orphelin dans les bois.
05:12Et ce n'est pas une blague.
05:18Tiens, petit.
05:19Oh, mon dieu.
05:20Un casque de sausage pour Benny ?
05:22T'es sûr ?
05:23Et là-bas dans les bois,
05:24c'est un tatabierre réel.
05:26Et j'ai entendu qu'il était
05:28Oh, merci, le grand leader Larrity.
05:34Oh, c'est comme Donkey Kong, bâtard.
05:41Don't you fools know
05:42how Korean food tastes like ?
05:46Take it, candy machine.
05:47Voilà.
05:48My chocolate loin stick.
05:50Dave, Jerry, there you are.
05:51May I confide in you ?
05:52No.
05:53The problem is my brother, Chris.
05:54Todd, shut up.
05:55I know this will be difficult for you to believe.
05:58But for some reason,
05:59Mother loves him more than she loves me.
06:02Even though I am the one
06:04who has washed her grey valley low
06:06these past five years.
06:09That was your fault
06:10because you grossed Jerry out.
06:11There's nothing but beauty
06:12in her folds and crevices.
06:13And maybe some lint
06:14and sometimes loose change.
06:16And I'm afraid that if Chris stays here now,
06:18I will lose my place
06:19in Mother's affection forever.
06:21Jerry, let's tag-tee the machine
06:22and see what happens.
06:23Thank you for listening.
06:24Anytime.
06:26Thank you for the bears.
06:27They were bear-y good.
06:33I left the best spot for you,
06:35great white samurai.
06:37The ancient traditions say
06:38you'll eat them,
06:39you'll see the future.
06:40I've seen it, boy.
06:41And you ain't in it.
06:42Get over here right now, Benny.
06:43I'm gonna get you.
06:44Come on.
06:45Hey, Todd's brother.
06:47Dude, you ever been to Lake Titicaca ?
06:50Oh, you sad dumb bastards.
06:52Of course I have.
06:53I rode across it on a local pet boat
06:55called a Peruvian steamer.
06:57I'm so high you seem awesome
06:58even though you're related to Todd.
07:00I know why your mother loves you
07:01better than him.
07:02David, no.
07:03You were my confidant.
07:04Dude, good luck.
07:05I've been trying for years
07:06and I still can't make it reach.
07:07I miss the entire ninth grade
07:08with a fractured neck.
07:10I want me inside me so bad.
07:13Is Todd having a seizure ?
07:15No, no, he's self-soothing.
07:16He's fine.
07:17It's common among autistics
07:18and children with Asperger's.
07:20Fucking Asperger.
07:21It got worse when I left
07:22to roam Mother Earth's thighs
07:23on my uni.
07:24Chris, no one wants to be bored
07:26by your boring stories
07:27of world travel and exotic conquests.
07:29Hey, guess what ?
07:30They're better than your lame-mouth talk,
07:31Asperger.
07:32Guys, lay off my brother.
07:33While he does reek of cheese
07:34and bad ideas,
07:35he's a totally hip cat in my book.
07:37Hey, man, you're so cool.
07:38Hey, you wanna go
07:39huck stuff in cars ?
07:40Yeah, let's do it.
07:44And then I gave my followers
07:46important words to live by.
07:48I said,
07:49if you're gonna do something,
07:51do it well.
07:52And leave something with you.
07:53Read some more Charles Manson story,
07:55Mr. Larrity.
07:56Make Benny so warm and sleepy.
07:59It's go time,
08:00you little Szechuan, sweetie.
08:02We have time.
08:05You can be good, Mr. Larrity.
08:07Here I come, Mr. Larrity.
08:11All right, little brother.
08:13Now, see,
08:14I set up this unicycle park
08:15so you can get an idea
08:16of what my intricate movements are
08:18for the game.
08:19This isn't necessary at all.
08:20Let's go inside.
08:21What's going on ?
08:22We're just doing some research,
08:23my good and sexy lady.
08:25You're just like Tony Hawk,
08:27only bigger.
08:28Oh, yes.
08:29Yes, much bigger.
08:30Especially in the old baby maker,
08:31the old sausage factory.
08:33Downstairs in the old peeny basement,
08:35if you know what I mean.
08:36We get it.
08:37Now that you know what we're doing,
08:38go back inside.
08:39F*** you, Todd.
08:40Don't worry, Todd.
08:41I'm like a fine mayonnaise.
08:43I spread deliciously
08:44and everyone may have a taste.
08:46There's enough Sir Christopher
08:48for everyone.
08:50Wow, his toss is so accomplished.
08:52Not as accomplished as my toss.
08:54Dino, I think I finally shook Benny.
08:56Awesome.
08:57I like to shake girls.
08:58I shake girls like this.
08:59Shake them really hard.
09:00What's up ?
09:01That's a good one, Mr. Lowdy.
09:02Now I got sushi.
09:03You want some ?
09:04Whoa.
09:05I'm just kidding.
09:06You're not touching.
09:07That Korean has wang-chunged me
09:09for the last time.
09:10Yo, Todd,
09:11when I was little,
09:12you used to say
09:13you should have had me adopted.
09:14And now I'm finally glad
09:15nobody wanted you,
09:16because you're a gosh darn genius.
09:18We gots to get Benny adopted.
09:20You hear that ?
09:21My dad thinks I'm a genus,
09:22a group of organisms
09:23that share a common characteristic.
09:25What's up ?
09:27I can't believe you hit a doormat
09:28from a hundred yards away.
09:30That's not all I can hit.
09:31Unicycling really works the mula banda.
09:33I've always wanted to date a newsboy.
09:35It's so hot.
09:36So, you think it's hot
09:37that Chris was breastfed
09:38until he was eight ?
09:39How hot's that ?
09:40Yes, well, I do know my way
09:41around a nipple.
09:42He pooped his pants
09:43at the Christmas pageant.
09:44Pooper !
09:45I was eight months old.
09:46I played the baby Jesus.
09:47Oh, my God, you're an actor ?
09:48I pooped my pants many times.
09:50Several times, actually.
09:52In fact, I'm pooping my pants right now.
09:54Anyone up for a change-in ?
09:58Duh, I'm out of paper.
09:59Something in here
10:00must work as a pipe.
10:02Nice, just like using an apple,
10:04but it tastes like bear thoughts.
10:05I'm taking a hit from a bear's head.
10:07Man, I really have to
10:08get my life together.
10:09Why you stupids talk so stupid ?
10:10Ah, did you hear that ?
10:11The bear's still alive.
10:12Right here, stupid Jerry.
10:14Why you scream like a girl ?
10:15What are you doing in here, dude ?
10:16Then you're going to get adopted,
10:18live with some family.
10:19So sad now.
10:20I'm going to get adopted.
10:21I'm going to get adopted.
10:22I'm going to get adopted.
10:23So sad now.
10:24I don't know what to do.
10:25Scare the potential parents away, man.
10:27How ?
10:28Just be yourself.
10:29Yeah, you're terrifying.
10:30Creepy little Asian kids
10:31are always scary.
10:34There I was.
10:35A rabid dog to my left,
10:36sprinkler system to my right.
10:37What do you sacrifice ?
10:39A leg or the news ?
10:40It may seem like a tough choice,
10:42but I had a job to do.
10:44Oh, what a hero.
10:46Blah, blah, blah.
10:47A hero ?
10:48No, no, I'm just a man
10:50with some crazy ideas
10:51about honor and duty.
10:52You must feel the same way
10:53about programming.
10:54I mean, when you look in the mirror,
10:55don't you just feel good ?
10:57If you must know,
10:58only when I am dressed as She-Ra.
10:59Now let's just finish the game, Chris.
11:01How about we make level two
11:02about delivering papers in India ?
11:04Because I've got some great stories
11:05about a talking tiger
11:06and a bear that sang to me.
11:07And I even have a story
11:08about a monkey king.
11:09Very well.
11:10I will immortalize you.
11:13Excellent.
11:15Look, we're laughing together.
11:16We're brothers.
11:17Come here, hug me.
11:18Stop it.
11:19I'm laughing alone.
11:21Woody and Mia,
11:22I am so glad
11:23y'all came to look at my Asia.
11:25I think there's been some mistake.
11:27This cage contains a boy.
11:29He's darling.
11:30What's wrong with a boy ?
11:31How am I supposed to marry a boy
11:33when he grows up ?
11:34What ?
11:35It was a joke.
11:37You lose, old man.
11:41All right, everyone.
11:42Gather round.
11:43We are gathered, you idiot.
11:44I present to you
11:45Paper Man, the Oracle.
11:47In my game,
11:48the Paper Boy, Chris,
11:49is threatened by people and animals
11:51hell-bent on killing him.
11:52Survival is highly unlikely.
11:54Come, Chris.
11:55Try the game.
11:56First play.
11:57I am deeply honored, sir.
12:00Die, paper idiots, die !
12:02Let me try.
12:03This is insanely hard.
12:05Finally,
12:06a game that's got some meat to it.
12:08Great work, Todd.
12:09What do you mean ?
12:10Your precious Paper Man is dead.
12:11Do you hear me ?
12:12Dead.
12:13I killed him !
12:14Exactly.
12:15It's dangerous.
12:16Just like my life.
12:17It's faster than the highlight
12:18I played in the mountains of Portugal
12:19and more thrilling
12:20than the boomerang mouth catch
12:21I played with aborigines.
12:22I love you, Chris.
12:23Fill me up.
12:24Good job, Chris.
12:25This game's gonna be huge.
12:27Yeah, you're right.
12:28Chris, this game is mine.
12:30People everywhere
12:31are finally going to know
12:32the name Chris.
12:34You mean Todd.
12:35People everywhere
12:36are gonna know the name Todd.
12:38Fatty, you're just a magician.
12:39Chris is the real magic.
12:41And to send this game off right,
12:43I'm gonna have Chris
12:44do a demonstration
12:45to promote it.
12:47I'll show you magic.
12:48Sweltered,
12:49venom-sleeping blot.
12:50Boil thou first
12:51and charm at pot.
13:01Yes, that's right.
13:02Run from my deadly spell.
13:07Gosh, I'm nervous
13:08about the demo tomorrow.
13:09I mean, being a role model
13:10is a big responsibility.
13:11Yes, yes.
13:12Huge responsibility.
13:13So, I have to go.
13:15So, I have prepared a present.
13:17Please, look in the closet.
13:19Oh, come on.
13:20You didn't have to
13:21give me a present.
13:22Look in the closet.
13:23Look in the closet.
13:24Wow.
13:25Your doll collection is huge.
13:27Why is this one
13:28wearing mommy's pantyhose?
13:30Ow, jeez, oh, my God.
13:31Something accidentally
13:32fell on my head.
13:33Yes, it must have
13:34fallen from the ceiling.
13:35And it's falling again.
13:37My non-wooden leg.
13:39Todd.
13:40Are you dying?
13:42Todd.
13:43Oh.
13:44There are people out there
13:45who expect a demo.
13:47Now, the paperboy creed
13:48is never disappoint a customer.
13:50Ah.
13:51Todd.
13:52You will have to do
13:54the demo for me.
13:55Ow.
13:56Impossible.
13:57Please, Todd.
13:58There's only one person
13:59in the world
14:00I can trust with
14:01the most important thing
14:02in my life.
14:03My sack.
14:04You would let me
14:05hold your sack?
14:06Oh, silly.
14:07You're my only brother.
14:08Of course
14:09I would let you
14:10hold my sack.
14:11I've always dreamed
14:12of your sack
14:13across my shoulder.
14:14Of course you have.
14:15Why, we're brothers, aren't we?
14:17I love you.
14:20If I do the demo,
14:21then all eyes
14:22will be on me.
14:23And perhaps Mother
14:24will let me move back
14:25into her room.
14:26I'll do it.
14:27Give me a one-wheeled steed.
14:31Steven Spielberg.
14:33Glad you saw my ad.
14:34I figured you'd pay
14:35top dollar
14:36for real-life China, baby.
14:37How you been, amigo?
14:39Good, but not great.
14:40Got a hot actress
14:41for my next movie.
14:42I'm probably
14:43totally going to nail her.
14:44That's the good.
14:45But I'm having
14:46a heck of a time
14:47finding the right Asian kid.
14:48That's the not great.
14:49Stevie,
14:50I am the answer
14:51to all your funny
14:52talk Jewish prayers.
14:53Hey, kid,
14:54can you say,
14:55Hey, lady,
14:56call him Dr. Jones.
14:57Hey, lady,
14:58call him Dr. Jones.
14:59Hey, lady,
15:00what's the first part?
15:01Liking him,
15:02not loving him.
15:03I have to feel it right here.
15:04In your ass?
15:05In my wallet,
15:06which is in my ass.
15:07Oh,
15:08color purple
15:09blue donkey balls.
15:10Okay,
15:12Dang it, Benny,
15:13I thought I told you
15:14to behave.
15:15Benny do a lot
15:16of bad things
15:17in his short life,
15:18but I cannot lie
15:19about color purple.
15:20That's where
15:21Benny draw the line.
15:22I gots to go out
15:23and start
15:24the dang old festivities,
15:25but this adoption
15:26thing ain't over.
15:27Hey,
15:28do you think Chris
15:29will sign my copy
15:30of the Sunnyvale Herald?
15:31Shut up, kid,
15:32or I'll sign
15:33the sidewalk with your face.
15:34Now,
15:35where in the hooker's purse
15:36is that Chris?
15:37I wanna see what he can do
15:38with that third leg.
15:39I hope he's all right.
15:40I wanna lose
15:41my virginity to him.
15:42Come on.
15:43My other one,
15:44the second one.
15:45Chris,
15:46what happened?
15:47You mugged an old lady
15:48for a wheelchair, right?
15:49And then,
15:50you put your legs
15:51in fake cast
15:52so people would roll you
15:53to chocolate milk.
15:54You are a genius, dude.
15:55No, I...
15:56Look, everyone!
15:57It's I, Todd!
15:58Funerate me!
15:59That's right!
16:00Ooh!
16:01Ooh!
16:02Todd!
16:03You can do it,
16:04my man Todd.
16:05Damn it!
16:06This sucks.
16:07I'm getting
16:08the hang of it.
16:09Victory!
16:10I am the paper man now!
16:11Watch it!
16:12Fireballs!
16:13Shut up!
16:14Owl reptile!
16:15I'm trying to deliver
16:16your paper!
16:17You need the news!
16:18Thank you!
16:19Oh!
16:20He's chewing me
16:21because I'm delicious.
16:22I have to save
16:23my little bro.
16:24No, Chris, wait.
16:25You're hurt.
16:26And no one cares
16:27about Todd.
16:28Uh,
16:29I care about Todd.
16:34Oh!
16:35Go away.
16:36I do not need
16:37saving!
16:39Look at them.
16:40They love you.
16:41What do I have to live for?
16:42Just let me die here.
16:44But get Mother
16:45so she can watch me expire.
16:47No way, buddy.
16:48Whoo!
16:49Whoo!
16:50Watch this!
16:51Showboating!
16:52This isn't as much fun
16:53now that Todd's not dying.
16:54Or maybe
16:55the weed's wearing off.
16:56Now that is a problem
16:57we can solve.
16:58But we're out of weed.
16:59If you use an apple
17:00for a pipe,
17:01you eat the apple.
17:02If you use a bear head
17:03for a pipe,
17:04you do what?
17:05Jerry, sometimes
17:06I do not give you
17:07enough credit, man.
17:11I don't think
17:12this is working.
17:13Ah!
17:14I just bit a tooth.
17:15Hi, everyone.
17:16Come on.
17:17Gather around,
17:18everybody,
17:19even the people
17:20I don't know
17:21or care about.
17:22I just want to say
17:23that this has been
17:24one of the most
17:25amazing weeks
17:26of my life.
17:27I had a game
17:28made about me,
17:29and my brother
17:30and I grew closer,
17:31and I showed my love
17:32by saving him
17:33from an alligator.
17:34But unfortunately,
17:35my home is
17:36on the other side
17:37of the ocean,
17:38and I don't know
17:39where my brother
17:40is,
17:41and I don't know
17:42where my brother
17:43is,
17:44and I don't know
17:45where my brother
17:46is,
17:47and I don't know
17:48where my brother
17:49is,
17:50and I don't know
17:51where my brother
17:52is,
17:53and I don't know
17:54where my brother
17:55is,
17:56and I don't know
17:57where my brother
17:58is,
17:59and I don't know
18:00where my brother
18:01is,
18:02and I don't know
18:03where my brother
18:04is,
18:05and I don't know
18:06where my brother
18:07is,
18:08and I don't know
18:09where my brother
18:10is,
18:11and I don't know
18:12where my brother
18:13is,
18:14and I don't know
18:15where my brother
18:16is,
18:17and I don't know
18:18where my brother
18:19is,
18:20and I don't know
18:21where my brother
18:22is,
18:23and I don't know
18:24where my brother
18:25is,
18:26and I don't know
18:27where my brother
18:28is,
18:29and I don't know
18:30where my brother
18:31is,
18:32and I don't know
18:33where my brother
18:34is,
18:35and I don't know
18:36where my brother
18:37is,
18:38and I don't know
18:39where my brother
18:40is,
18:41and I don't know
18:42where my brother
18:43is,
18:44and I don't know
18:45where my brother
18:46is,
18:47and I don't know
18:48where my brother
18:49is,
18:50and I don't know
18:51where my brother
18:52is,
18:53and I don't know
18:54where my brother
18:55is,
18:56and I don't know
18:57where my brother
18:58is,
18:59and I don't know
19:00where my brother
19:01is,
19:02and I don't know