the ghosts of motley hall - season 1 episode 7
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00:30That's the third one this week.
00:58Must be the change in the weather.
01:00Scoundrels don't seem to know where they're not wanted.
01:05Kitchen window.
01:06They can't be helped. Just look at the mess.
01:08He might have set light to the place.
01:10In my day the scoundrels would have had a seat full of buckshot
01:13before they got within sight of the gates.
01:14Now they use the Great Hall as a darts house.
01:17Oh it's quite rather roughy and ratty.
01:20Swifter than an arrow from a tartar's bow.
01:24Never mind lad.
01:25But he ain't coming back.
01:26There'll be others.
01:28I blame Gudgeon for this.
01:29I don't see how he can expect us to look after Motley for him.
01:32Yeah well he's afraid to come round here.
01:35Don't look at me.
01:36I am looking at you. You're the reason.
01:38It's not her fault you can see her.
01:40Not her fault?
01:41Have you seen yourself?
01:42Done up like a Mardy May Queen.
01:44If he can see anything he can see you.
01:45Well you're not exactly inconspicuous.
01:48He's never seen me though has he?
01:49Sigh! These are my working clothes.
01:51You don't even know when you're dressed up like that.
01:52Oh yes I do.
01:54It's uh...
01:56It's a bridal gown.
01:58Who are?
01:59Yes it is. It's a bridal gown.
02:02Well it's not impossible.
02:03Men have fought over me.
02:06Who were they?
02:06Burke and Hare?
02:07Ha ha ha!
02:09Burke and Hare.
02:10You know I sometimes wonder if I was a nun.
02:14I wouldn't make a habit of it.
02:16I wouldn't make a habit of it.
02:18No?
02:19No.
02:22Ah look I don't suppose you're entirely to blame.
02:24I expect we all contribute to the uh...
02:26Quite.
02:29Why is Godgin so scared?
02:30We wouldn't hurt him.
02:31Course not.
02:32But we are different though aren't we?
02:33And people always get upset about anything they don't understand.
02:41Godgin.
02:42About time.
02:52I say!
02:54It really is rather splendid isn't it?
02:56Mainly Elizabethan I should suppose with a few later twiddly bits.
03:00I have to keep an eye on the place you see.
03:01And as we were passing you're sure you don't mind?
03:04Oh no no no no not at all.
03:07As long as we're not late for my lecture.
03:08Oh I promise you it's only 15 minutes from here.
03:10Ah well then.
03:12Oh thanks for time.
03:14There's another intruder you see.
03:18I have to keep a constant watch.
03:20Um there is another reason that I stopped off here.
03:25I... I wonder if you can guess what it is.
03:29Well I think I can.
03:30Yes it doesn't take too much ESP to work that one out Mr. Godgin.
03:35Godgin.
03:36But it's just that I...
03:37When I heard that you were to address our little society I thought...
03:41Yes yes you thought get old Pogmore over here.
03:44Give Mockinghall a once over.
03:46Well yes I did as a matter of fact.
03:48Fine ahead then.
03:49What have you seen?
03:51You mean ghosts?
03:52No I don't mean ghosts. I mean phenomena.
03:54Oh what's the difference?
03:56No such thing as ghosts with you chap.
03:58Only phenomena.
03:59Silly guy.
03:5912.
04:00In that case I think I've seen a phenomenon.
04:03Here?
04:04Well in the cellars.
04:06Sorry about that. Go on.
04:08Well it was a woman dressed in white.
04:10Oh yes very common very common.
04:12Yes we get a lot of those.
04:14Uh did you hear anything?
04:16Not much.
04:18No clanking noises shrieks howls moans that sort of thing?
04:21Moans yes yes I think she moaned a bit.
04:25Not she it.
04:26It! Always it!
04:30Vanished.
04:30How?
04:32How do you mean how?
04:33Well like this.
04:36Or more like this.
04:39No like this.
04:41I can't bring him in there.
04:42He's upset.
04:43Well no not to worry not to worry.
04:45You believe me then?
04:47My dear chap of course I believe you.
04:51I read oodles of reports at the institute.
04:53All dealing with exactly the same sort of thing.
04:54Do you really?
04:55Yes no there's nothing uncommon in what you describe.
04:58Nothing at all.
04:58No it's uh it's very ordinary really.
05:01No it is the idea of actual beings.
05:04Ghosts specters spooks.
05:07Spooks?
05:08No just haunting a place year in and year out for centuries.
05:11Now that makes me so cross.
05:13Oh.
05:13Yes it's quite ridiculous.
05:14Ridiculous?
05:16Yes you see the idea of ghosts per se is completely out of date.
05:20Simply word wash.
05:22Now tell me how long has Motley Hall been empty?
05:2620 years.
05:26Yes more or less uh undisturbed?
05:29Yes.
05:30Oh super I mean that's it then isn't it?
05:32Absolutely run of the mill.
05:33What is?
05:36Wavelengths.
05:37It's all to do with wavelengths.
05:39Oh well I I'm afraid I don't know much about uh...
05:43No no well look I'll try and keep it simple.
05:45It's a matter of what we call P-V-E-A wave patterns.
05:50Yes that is psychically vibrating electro-acoustic wave patterns.
05:55Oh yes.
05:56Now you see the atmosphere of Motley Hall has become charged.
06:00You see charged with these psychically vibrating electro-acoustic wave patterns.
06:04Balderdash!
06:06Now if you discharge these psychically vibrating wave patterns well Bob's your uncle.
06:13Bodkin?
06:14Yeah?
06:15What's he talking about?
06:16Well it seems to me that according to this camel-faced cockscomb we ain't ghosts anymore
06:21because ghosts are out of date.
06:23We're waves and patterns and things.
06:25I don't feel like a wave.
06:27Neither do I.
06:27Well we ain't because we're ghosts and he's a windbag.
06:30Come your ways.
06:33Disassociation.
06:35Resulting in of course hallucinatory experiences.
06:38Yes but how exactly would you discharge the...
06:43Psychically vibrating electro-acoustic wave patterns.
06:45Yes and get rid of the ghosts.
06:46Yes well I'm pleased you asked me that because and by the way it's phenomena not ghosts
06:50because I am at the moment working on an experimental piece of equipment
06:54which is designed mind you it is only in the laboratory stage
06:57and it is designed to disperse exactly the sort of psychic build-up you've obviously got here.
07:02Now if...
07:05I say I've just had a simply stunning idea.
07:09Well this would be the perfect place for me to run some tests.
07:12Do you really think so?
07:13Well I'm absolutely certain of it.
07:15Look tell you what I'll cart my stuff over on Saturday.
07:18We'll have a bash.
07:19The uh the chaps at the Institute of Parapsychology have christened this the PDS-1.
07:24The uh the Pogmore de Spooker Mark 1.
07:28It's based quite simply on a type of high-powered oscillator.
07:32Coupled with a few bits and bobs.
07:34You know booster readout that sort of thing.
07:37Now I'll best demonstrate the principle of the thing with...
07:40Now where do I...
07:44Ah ha ha.
07:47There.
07:54Now watch closely.
07:59Of course this is only a prototype you understand.
08:02Not quite as portable as I should like it to be.
08:05And I haven't quite got all the bugs out yet.
08:07Still now...
08:12Ah.
08:14Shouldn't have done that.
08:15When did they get here?
08:16About an hour ago.
08:19What is it?
08:20Pogmore's de Spooker.
08:23Do you like the sound of it?
08:28Ah yes that's better.
08:29First rate.
08:31Now watch the grass.
08:50You see?
08:52Whoops.
08:54Worked well though didn't it?
08:56You better send the bill to me old chap.
08:58But it does show you what sound waves can really do doesn't it?
09:01Now if my theory is correct and I'm pretty sure it is.
09:04Ultrasonic waves so high that we can't hear them
09:07will wipe out your so-called ghosts altogether.
09:11It's death.
09:12The villain means it.
09:14We must warn the others.
09:18Dear chap.
09:19You must stop this anthropomorphization of psychokinetic energy.
09:23You really must.
09:24I mean it's not as if we're dealing with people in any shape or form.
09:27Yes I know you've explained it all beautifully.
09:29It's just...
09:29Oh now come look.
09:31If Motley Hall had the Death Watch beetle you'd have to cope with it wouldn't you?
09:35And brought a screaming posthorn to destroy us.
09:39Finally you've landed on a ladder.
09:42Calm yourself Francis.
09:43You're overwrought.
09:44You can't be destroyed by a posthorn.
09:46What about the walls of Jericho?
09:48That was trumpets not posthorns.
09:50There.
09:50It's the same thing.
09:52Of course it isn't.
09:53You didn't see how it smashed the glass.
09:55Glass and ghosts are very different.
09:57I tell you he's out to rid Motley Hall of us for good.
10:01Now Miss Chatter.
10:02He'll play with his silly contraption until he gets tired of it and then he'll...
10:08Excuse me.
10:09Leave us in peace.
10:10Ain't even gonna look at it?
10:13How many?
10:13Four.
10:14Four.
10:16Maybe Sir George is right.
10:17Maybe he can't harm us.
10:18They're murring on you maybe.
10:19Let's ask Bodkin.
10:20Three.
10:21Gemini I'm supposed to meet him in the Great Hall for a music lesson.
10:24Just over 60 cases.
10:30There's no danger of an explosion is there?
10:33Not at all my dear fellow.
10:34It's as safe as houses.
10:39Yes uh well would you mind uh swinging the jolly old doof in that direction?
10:44I'd really rather you did it.
10:45Oh go on he won't bite you.
10:52Like that?
10:53The first rate.
10:54Yes.
10:5878 cases.
11:04Hello Rihanna.
11:05What's happening to me?
11:07Sir George!
11:08Sir George!
11:09Come in!
11:14Well.
11:15Wonder if he's bagged anything yet.
11:22Sir George.
11:2376 and 5 is 81 and 80.
11:25You started on number 47.
11:27You can't come that way.
11:31I said Bodkin you look a bit peaky.
11:32Peaky?
11:34I'm faded away.
11:36I've noticed you're just a bit off color that's all.
11:39Look at me.
11:40Well something to do with atmospheric conditions.
11:43Prevailing winds and deep depression of somewhere or other.
11:45Deep depression?
11:46I'm melting into limbo.
11:48Enough fit sticks.
11:50Do you believe us now?
11:51I don't want to go to limbo.
11:53Well where's that?
11:55I'm dissolving don't you understand?
11:58Leaving Motley forever.
11:59I'm never coming back.
12:01I haven't been much for the last 400 years.
12:03I'll be nothing at all from now on.
12:05No no no you mustn't give way.
12:07Remember the power of positive thought.
12:12I feel faint.
12:14You are very faint.
12:15You're getting fainter.
12:17I'm feeling faint.
12:18You're getting fainter.
12:19That's right.
12:20Cheer me up.
12:21Bradley!
12:22No thanks I never touch spirits.
12:25Oh oh I never touch spirits.
12:31I'm going.
12:31Borders.
12:33Goodbye Sir George.
12:35Uh dear old friend.
12:39Farewell friend.
12:41Pardon me white lady for all the rude things I've said to you.
12:45I didn't mean them you know.
12:47Don't go yet Borders.
12:51Oh I thought that was it that time.
12:58May I?
13:01Did I ever tell you the one about...
13:05Please.
13:05I'll never forgive Gudgeon for this as long as I stay here.
13:19And if Gudgeon has his way that ain't gonna be very long.
13:35Quite impressive isn't it?
13:51Oh yes very.
13:53I doubt if there's any psychically vibrating electroacoustic wave patterns left in here now.
13:56You think you've done it.
13:58Cheese or ham?
13:59The infernal machine would seem to be quite final in its effect.
14:03And if we allow this power mad despot to complete his plans then there is no doubt in my mind that...
14:18We shall all share the same fate as our sadly missed colleague.
14:22A fate best described as electrical exorcism.
14:26Oh.
14:28Now as a professional soldier I know that any head-on attack against an enemy
14:35possessing a weapon of such undoubted nay proven superiority
14:42would be a rash and foolish venture.
14:46We shall therefore remain calm.
14:49God's buds Sir George.
14:50We shall remain calm.
14:54And wait our chance.
14:57Up the uproars.
14:58Fanny if you continue this irrational display I'll charge you with insubordination.
15:04Then charge me so.
15:05For I'm going down in the great hall and I'm going to slaughter both of them.
15:07Now don't be silly Fanny.
15:08You know you can't do.
15:09Put your nasty sword away.
15:11By heaven if I had any blood in my veins it'd be boiling.
15:13Yes well you haven't so sit down.
15:22The real villain is that treacherous renegade Gudgeon.
15:25I never liked him.
15:27It's his ears.
15:28I'd like to push him off the roof.
15:29I think how we trusted him.
15:32Kept out of his way.
15:33Helped him take care of Motley.
15:35Tidied up after him.
15:37Dealt with trespassers.
15:38Kept out of his way.
15:41You've already said that once.
15:43Yes but it's just given me an idea.
15:46Any particularly eerie spots?
15:48Well the bell tower is supposed to be haunted.
15:50Oh first rate.
15:52Yes towers are absolutely top whole places for storing psychokinetic energy.
15:57Heaven knows why though.
15:58The bell used to toll by itself especially after a death in the family.
16:03Clever old thing.
16:04Yes that's just another example of gestalt mood generating its own telekinesis.
16:09I don't know whether we've got enough cable for the bell tower.
16:13Perhaps we'd better start in the cellar.
16:16The cellar?
16:17Yes now there you are old chap.
16:20Off you go.
16:21No I'd really rather not.
16:22I might see something.
16:24Well I'd rather hope you will.
16:25In fact I'm relying on it.
16:27No I couldn't.
16:28Oh go on.
16:29Look I suffer from claustrophobia.
16:31Please Professor Popmore don't make me go down in the cellar.
16:35Oh very well then.
16:36I mean don't get in a state about it.
16:37I'll go.
16:39But make sure you keep that needle steady above 70 kcs right?
16:45There.
16:48Trouble is you see though I shan't hallucinate.
16:51I never see anything.
16:54Still I haven't had as much fun since I wired up my rubber plant to a lie detector.
17:17Got you.
17:18Ah!
17:21Gadgen I want to talk to you.
17:22No no no.
17:23No.
17:24No go away.
17:25Gadgen.
17:27Gadgen.
17:29Gadgen.
17:32Gadgen!
17:36I'm going after her.
17:37I thought we were remaining calm and awaiting our chance.
17:40Damn it Fanny she's a woman.
17:43Come on.
17:46We must rescue her.
17:47Save her from oblivion.
17:48Come on.
17:49No.
17:50No.
17:52I'm going in alone.
17:54I ain't fair.
17:56No.
17:56That's an order Sir Francis.
17:59I'm putting you in charge here.
18:03If I ain't back within five minutes you know what to do.
18:09No I don't.
18:11Tell me.
18:13Come looking for me you silly pigeon.
18:16Oh yes come come looking for you yes.
18:18Help you find us Sir George.
18:20Thank you boy.
18:22Bye Bella Clarva.
18:24It's good to be back in action again.
18:31Ah Gadgen you can't get away from me.
18:46What do you want?
18:48Why are you haunting me?
18:51I was just coming to that.
18:53Leave me alone.
18:54Please leave me alone.
18:55Not till we've had our little chat.
18:57But I don't want a little chat.
18:58We've absolutely nothing in common.
19:00Oh yes we have something frightfully important.
19:04Can't you guess what it is?
19:05I don't want to know.
19:07Electrical exorcism.
19:13Didn't you hear me?
19:14I said...
19:16Gadgen!
19:20Gadgen!
19:23Where's he got to?
19:25Gadgen!
19:28Are you up there?
19:31Gadgen!
19:38Who the devil are you?
19:45Oh me.
19:47I'm a friend of Gadgen's.
19:49I heard you sit here so I thought I'd pop around.
19:52I expected in the uh...
19:54Well that's funny because he didn't say anything about anybody else coming.
19:57Oh didn't he?
19:58Well...
20:00I'm Pogmore.
20:01I'm Uproar.
20:05Jumping Jehoshaphat!
20:07You're a projection.
20:08Maybe you're a beggar.
20:10The painting.
20:12I'm projecting the painting.
20:14That sir is my portrait.
20:16Do you know you are the very first hallucination that I have ever had?
20:21You sir are a mushroom.
20:22An upstart.
20:24No.
20:24Strictly speaking you are the upstart.
20:26I am the parapsychologist.
20:28Because you see I exist and you do not.
20:31You are a projection of my subconscious.
20:34I am the spirit of General Sir George Uproar KTMG.
20:38On the contrary.
20:39You are a psychically vibrating electroacoustic wave pattern.
20:42I know what I am!
20:44On the contrary.
20:45You don't because you see you haven't got a mind of your own.
20:48You are an illusion in my subconscious.
20:51Duke!
20:51Founded schoolmaster.
20:53I lived here.
20:54I'm Sir George Uproar.
20:56You can't be.
20:57He's dead.
20:58Don't you be clever with me sir.
20:59And don't you see as you are a projection of my subconscious processes
21:04I am in fact talking to myself.
21:07I think I'm going mad.
21:09Oh no.
21:10I shan't let you.
21:13Take your dreadful contraption and get out!
21:21You can't do this to me.
21:23I am doing.
21:24Now we shall see who's real and who isn't, shan't we?
21:29Fanny!
21:32Look at you.
21:33You old mirage.
21:34Why that painting's worth ten of you.
21:39The last battle.
21:42No surrender.
21:44Going.
21:46Going.
21:48Gone!
21:50Spectacular.
21:52A total eclipse of stout party.
21:57It works.
21:59It really works.
22:02Mr. Gudgeon!
22:04Gudgeon!
22:06But I can't sell the house.
22:08Why ever not?
22:09Because you've given it such a bad reputation.
22:12How dare you?
22:13Well no I don't mean you personally.
22:17I know it was the wrong thing but I thought that if I...
22:19But if someone...
22:20I mean well if there were no more ghosts then I could sell it.
22:26Greed.
22:27No no no it was concern.
22:28I want to see Motley come to life again.
22:31Oh dear I keep on saying the wrong thing.
22:34It's just that when Professor Pognor came along I thought well
22:37it seemed a golden opportunity to change things.
22:39There you are.
22:40I've been looking everywhere for you.
22:42She's here.
22:43The one I was telling you about.
22:45Oh first rate.
22:47Well can't you see her?
22:48Well of course I can't my dear chap.
22:49She's in your subconscious not mine.
22:51Oh sorry.
22:52Say you know I don't credit this but I've just dreamed up the old buffer in the painting.
22:56Sir George.
22:57Oh I wish you'd been there.
22:59Well except of course you wouldn't have seen him of course.
23:01What happened?
23:02Oh well it was great fun.
23:04I just lined up the jolly old PDS and wiped him off the ether.
23:07Jolly spectacular.
23:08Sir George!
23:10Sir George!
23:12She uh she hooked him.
23:14She...
23:14Listen to me Pognor.
23:15You're wrong you know.
23:17Wrong?
23:17They're not projections.
23:18They are not vibrating waves.
23:20They are ghosts.
23:22And the one for the left will never forgive me.
23:28Where is everybody?
23:30Sir George!
23:31White lady!
23:33You don't think...
23:35Why Oswald?
23:37Both of them?
23:40Careful he's on.
23:46Sir George!
23:47He's no more.
23:49Look out!
23:52Oh drat!
23:56You tried to save me.
23:58I was an impetuous idiot.
24:00Not very bright but impetuous.
24:03So this is the end?
24:05Absolutely.
24:07Am I very famed?
24:08Yes.
24:09Am I?
24:10Yes very.
24:13Fanny.
24:16I'll let you into a secret.
24:17Oh?
24:20Well you uh you do understand professor.
24:23Well of course I'll go my dear fella.
24:25If that's what you want.
24:27I mean I don't want to upset you in any way.
24:30And of course if you choose to believe that psychic phenomena
24:34are beings with their own feelings and minds and personalities
24:38then who am I to say you may?
24:41You're quite wrong of course.
24:42But there.
24:43Live and let live is what I say.
24:45And after all where would the world be without ignorance and superstition?
25:04What does it feel like to be nothing at all sir George?
25:10Like a joke you've forgotten.
25:12But you...
25:17That thing worked all right but it ain't permanent.
25:19That professor's got a lot of problems to solve
25:22before he drops the final curtain on us.
25:24We've run through.
25:25The day is ours.
25:27A drink to celebrate it?
25:29No no no.
25:29A song.
25:30A song.
25:31A song.
25:32What song?
25:32What song wait?
25:33Mosley Hall of course.
25:35Come along.
25:36Come along.
25:36Interposition.
25:37Oh no.
25:38No Fanny.
25:39Interposition.
25:40Oh no.
25:46Two three four.
25:48Sing we all of Mosley Hall.
25:51Mosley Hall.
25:53Mosley Hall.
25:55Mosley Hall.
25:57Mosley Hall.
25:59Mosley Hall.
27:09you