the ghosts of motley hall - season 2 episode 2
the ghosts of motley hall - season 2 episode 2
Transcript
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00:54Hammering, you say?
00:56Yes. Kept me awake half the night.
00:58Not drumming?
01:00No. Why?
01:02The ghostly drummer. Have we got one?
01:04We're supposed to have.
01:06What? On the roof.
01:08Oh!
01:10Have you seen Gudgeon?
01:12No. Well, the front door is open
01:14and he is nowhere to be seen.
01:18We know where he is.
01:20Where?
01:22Oh, ghastly.
01:26Poor old Gudgeon.
01:28No, not dead. On the roof.
01:30Oh.
01:32What was he doing up there?
01:34Well, inspecting it, of course.
01:36He was up there yesterday with that soldier.
01:38Soldier?
01:40You mean that policeman went up there with him?
01:46What's wrong, Sir George?
01:48Policeman on the roof with Gudgeon.
01:50He was banging and hammering in the night.
01:52What's the riot?
01:54Don't like the sound of it.
01:56If only we could get out of the house.
01:58He can.
02:00Yes.
02:02But can you?
02:04Easy.
02:06Very well, then.
02:08Forward!
02:10As you were.
02:12Upward!
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02:22That's nearly 200 square feet they've taken.
02:24Mm.
02:26Lads fetching a good price, you know.
02:28Even today.
02:30They did cheadle some church about six weeks back
02:32and got away with two lorry loads.
02:34They're organised.
02:36How long before I can have your estimate, Mr Sand?
02:38Oh, it shouldn't take long.
02:40Have you any idea how much?
02:42Well, you'll not see much change out of 2,000 pounds.
02:44And so?
02:48You'll never be able to afford that.
02:52Oh.
02:54Oh.
02:56Stop moaning, that ain't going to help.
02:58Mm-mm-mm.
03:00With the lead
03:02off the roof.
03:04Budleigh Hall
03:06is at the mercy of the elements.
03:08The rain will come pouring in.
03:10The ceiling will come down.
03:12And before we know it, grass will start growing through the walls.
03:19Can't we do anything?
03:21Mow it. Mow it.
03:24It's money Gajanita, and we ain't got a farthing.
03:27Ain't there anything else he could sell?
03:29Ah, me daft son, the place is empty.
03:33What about the cellars? There's a lot of stuff down there.
03:36Nothing but rubbish.
03:38Well, do you know there might be something valuable?
03:40Because if there had been, Gajan would have found it by now.
03:45No, he wouldn't.
03:47Cos he never goes down there.
03:49Does he? That's right, and he might see something.
03:52Bye, George, all right?
03:57Oh! Oh!
04:01Why don't we...
04:03Look.
04:05Great heavens!
04:07Heavens!
04:09What's that, Sir George?
04:11Me old cricket bat, Fanny.
04:13Played for the gentlemen, you know.
04:161858.
04:20Rain stopped play.
04:38Hey, look.
04:46Up the uproars.
04:50Sir George.
04:52Ah.
04:54No. Letters, lawsuits, scams, nothing of value there.
04:58Sir George.
05:00Remember Lady Agatha's para?
05:03Yes.
05:05Drank stout.
05:07Really?
05:09Fool. Lady Agatha.
05:12Parrot drank gin.
05:15Hey!
05:17What?
05:19Look there.
05:21Who is he?
05:23I don't know.
05:25Miserable-looking killer, ain't he?
05:27Who's that, Sir George?
05:29Nobody I know.
05:32Is it you?
05:34Certainly not.
05:36Something moaned.
05:38Whenever anything moans, you always think it's me.
05:41You don't know you're doing it.
05:43It's like biting your fingernails.
05:45I never put my fingernails in my life.
05:47And I haven't started since.
05:49I didn't say you did bite your fingernails.
05:52I said it was like...
05:54...biting your fingernails.
05:58Biting your fingernails.
06:01Hello?
06:03We've disturbed something.
06:06Who's there?
06:10Stand and unfold yourself.
06:15He don't want to.
06:17Now, look here, old boy.
06:20There's absolutely no need to be shy.
06:25We're all in the same boat, aren't we?
06:29There's nothing to be ashamed of.
06:32So, do put in an appearance.
06:35There's a good chap.
06:37Couldn't be old Gorey, could it?
06:39No, he doesn't haunt down here.
06:45I don't like the sound of it.
06:48Neither do I.
06:50It's very rude to be heard and not seen.
06:55Uncommon ill-bred.
06:58Stand still.
07:00Now, pay attention.
07:03I don't know how many years you've been down here...
07:07...but I am the ghost of General Sir George Uprock, A.C.M.G.
07:11And I expect respect...
07:14...especially from unspecified spectres.
07:17Well, I'm not staying down here to be howled at.
07:21A plague on you, insolent mongrel!
07:25Stop your noise!
07:27Very well. As he won't listen to reason...
07:29...we'll take all to be found and return to the Great Hall.
07:32Forward!
07:39Oh, no, it's followed us up here.
07:44A vulture or cacophony!
07:46Perhaps it knows.
07:47Knows what?
07:48About the roof.
07:49I'll fit one of these belongs to it...
07:51...and it wants us to put it back.
07:54It's bud bodders. I think you've hit it.
07:56Yes, but which one?
08:00Is it this you want?
08:04How about that?
08:05That's mine!
08:09This?
08:11Or this?
08:15That.
08:16Better get rid of it.
08:18Wouldn't have got much for it anyway, ugly old thing.
08:20No way.
08:21Let me have another look at that.
08:25Oh, do be quiet!
08:27I do know who this is of.
08:29You do?
08:30Yes, and so do you, Fanny.
08:32Do I?
08:33Yes, and a bloody good likeness it is, too.
08:35Is it?
08:36Don't you remember? We all did it once.
08:39We've haunted lots of people, Bodger.
08:41You can't expect a fellow to remember all of them, can you?
08:43You wouldn't forget that one.
08:46Well, I have done, haven't I?
08:48The miser of Motley!
08:50No, no.
08:51Sir Peverell, after all!
08:53Aren't you quite going to think you're on target?
08:55Sir Peverell, of course!
08:57It's all coming back to me here.
08:59Don't you remember how he used to sit there,
09:01counting his gold,
09:02holding his jewels up to the light,
09:04chuckling away to himself.
09:06Matters made but for you.
09:08Yes, and he buried the lot before he died.
09:11You rotten old hawker bait!
09:14Well, what?
09:15Do you think if we ask him nicely,
09:18he'll tell us where he's buried him?
09:20I doubt that. He wouldn't tell anyone.
09:23We'll try the old skinflint.
09:25Yes, go on, try.
09:29Sir Peverell?
09:31Hello.
09:32Gets you back, doesn't he?
09:35Sorry we moved you past.
09:38And you, you miserable...
09:41But we're going to put you back.
09:43We need help on another matter, see.
09:48Some thieves have taken the lead off the roof
09:50and it's going to cost a tidy sum to repair it.
09:53Good.
09:55Well, go on, ask him!
09:57Yes.
09:59And we thought if you could see your way clear
10:02to tell us where you buried your lovely money.
10:04No!
10:05He makes your money go berserk!
10:08Berserk?
10:09Don't you care what happens to Motley?
10:11And Elmira, the place could collapse for all he'd care.
10:14Ah, Sir Peverell...
10:17Sir Peverell, do be reasonable.
10:20We don't want it. It's no use to us.
10:22But your money...
10:24See? Money.
10:26Money. Money, money, money, money.
10:30Well, if he won't tell us where it is,
10:32maybe we could find it for ourselves.
10:34I wish we could.
10:35But where do we start?
10:38That's true.
10:39There's absolutely nothing to go on.
10:41Tight-fisted old stump!
10:42Don't antagonise him.
10:44It's no good to you any more, can't you see?
10:46Don't wake yourself up, Bodkin.
10:48He won't have a chance.
10:50They sometimes wonder if there's treasure to find.
10:53But it must be somewhere.
10:55Needle in a haystack.
10:58How long do you think he's going to go on making that awful noise?
11:03Till we put that thing back.
11:08Oh, just a minute.
11:09What is it?
11:11I thought so.
11:13What?
11:14There's an inscription.
11:15Well, it's a Peverell apple, I expected.
11:17No, no, no, more words than that.
11:19I wonder.
11:20What?
11:22It could be...
11:23Could be what, my lady?
11:26A clue.
11:27Oh, a clue, is it?
11:29A clue...
11:30to where the treasure...
11:33is buried.
11:35Ha, ha, ha!
12:05Well, what does it say?
12:08My secret safe from all my foes...
12:11for Tibbs, the only one who knows.
12:14Tibbs?
12:15Who is Tibbs?
12:16No idea.
12:17Ain't much of a clue, is it?
12:18Ain't much like Sir Peverell, either.
12:20Oh, it is.
12:21I mean him telling anyone.
12:24Telling anyone what?
12:25Well, he buried the treasure.
12:26I mean, Tibbs would have dug it up right away.
12:28Well, perhaps he... or she did.
12:30No, no, but he says his secret's safe because of Tibbs knowing.
12:33Well, it wasn't his wife.
12:34Why not?
12:35Because he didn't have one.
12:36Then he must have been a friend he could trust.
12:38Didn't have any of them, either.
12:40Like Hermit, wasn't he funny?
12:42Who?
12:43Sir Peverell, that brought you great puddin'?
12:46Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.
12:47No friends at all.
12:49It was all rather miserable in those days, wasn't it, brothers?
12:53Gone awfully quiet, ain't it?
12:55Could Tibbs have been one of the servants?
12:57Ah, be daft.
12:59He wouldn't have told the servants anything.
13:01Hardly ever spoke to them.
13:02Used to write them little notes, pushed them under the door.
13:06I don't remember that.
13:07Little notes telling them what to get for him to eat,
13:09and what he wanted for his cat, and...
13:11Oh, yes, awful flea-ridden thing.
13:14I could never understand why Pevers was so fond of that thing.
13:17Do you know, it was the only thing he ever talked to.
13:19A parrot?
13:20Yes.
13:21What did you say?
13:22What did you say?
13:24I said, um...
13:25Oh, the cat was the only thing he ever talked to.
13:28Not with Stanley.
13:29What was its name?
13:30What was its name?
13:32What was its name?
13:35Tibby.
13:36Tibby!
13:39Francis, sometimes I wonder how you can possibly be so...
13:44so...
13:45Yes?
13:47Never mind.
13:49When I wonder the treasure's hiding place is still a secret if he only told his cat.
13:53So much for your clues, madam.
13:56Ah.
14:01I think I preferred to howl, didn't I?
14:04He dooted on that old moggy.
14:06Remember how he built a memorial to it?
14:09Gloriana, I forgot about that.
14:11A memorial to Tib?
14:12It's gone quiet again.
14:14It has.
14:15Where was this catafalque?
14:17Eh?
14:18Tib's memorial.
14:19It was somewhere in the ground.
14:21I seem to remember a little stone temple in the grounds when I was a boy.
14:26The gardeners used to sharpen their billocks on it.
14:29I wondered if that could be it.
14:31Chevalier, that sounds just the thing to hide the treasure in.
14:37Hit the nail on the head, ain't he, you old ploverer?
14:40Aye, George Bunkin, I believe he has.
14:42Where have we hidden the monument?
14:43Why are you so anxious, eh?
14:45Moneybags!
14:46But where is the monument?
14:49In the kitchen garden.
14:55My father had it moved.
14:57Where to?
14:58I'm not sure. I was away at school at the time.
15:00He didn't get rid of it altogether, did he, Sir George?
15:02No, it's in the grounds. I'm sure it is.
15:04Or was.
15:07But I can't remember where.
15:09You must, Sir George.
15:11The fate of Motley is in your hands.
15:13Oh, stop being so dramatic.
15:15I'm doing me best.
15:18Wait a minute.
15:20Yes, I seem to remember.
15:22An ivy-covered shed nearby.
15:25Ma'am.
15:27An ivy-covered shed.
15:29I'll find it.
15:32KNOCKING
15:45Oh, the young fool's going the wrong way.
15:48Are you sure, Sir George?
15:49Of course I'm sure!
15:53Dammit, I won't find it down there!
15:56Why can't the idiot see he's going wrong?
15:59Come back, man!
16:01Come back!
16:03Keep calm, Sir George. He can't hear you.
16:05Can't.
16:07Calm!
16:09By the baton!
16:11I've got it!
16:13Gloriana.
16:15Great Gladstone.
16:17He's out!
16:18I'm out.
16:29I'm out.
16:40How did you do it?
16:42I wish I knew.
16:44So do I.
16:46I'll tell you one thing, though.
16:48We've got twice as much chance of finding the treasure now.
16:52Ain't we?
16:54Superb!
16:57Thought I ought to tell you.
16:59You're going the wrong way.
17:01It's over there.
17:03But you can...
17:06But you're out!
17:08You're out of motley!
17:10Yes.
17:12Well, I thought you might need some assistance.
17:14Have the others got it?
17:16No.
17:18No, they haven't mastered it yet.
17:21Forward!
17:26Forward!
17:32Sir George.
17:37I've recovered shed.
17:39Yes.
17:43Aha!
17:47Ha!
17:51Catch!
17:54They must be getting warm.
17:56Aha!
17:57What is it, Sir George?
17:59In memory of Tib.
18:01Jiminy, anything else?
18:03Her little tongue shall never wag
18:08to let the cat out of the bag.
18:19What's that?
18:21Water walls.
18:28It's hollow.
18:30I know that, but how does the wretched thing open?
18:35By heaven, we can't be beaten now.
18:37It's in there.
18:39Oh, but I'll blast your...
18:41Oh!
18:43What?
18:49Sir George!
18:51What?
18:56Aha!
19:05Nothing.
19:08To all greedy fools,
19:11my gold is gone.
19:13Now I am dead.
19:15It's secret, locked within my head.
19:19We've been led by the nose, ain't we?
19:21Like a brace of donkeys.
19:32He's changed his tune again.
19:34Something's wrong.
19:36I can sense it.
19:38Oh, dear.
19:40I'm startled by that ghastly old ghoul.
19:42What now, Sir George?
19:44We've suffered a setback, that's all.
19:46We'll return to HQ, regroup,
19:48and plan another sortie.
19:50Come on!
20:00Er...
20:02After you.
20:05KNOCK AT DOOR
20:07He's tricked us.
20:09There was no gold, no jewels,
20:11just another message telling us what fools we are.
20:13Where's Sir George?
20:27God!
20:29Ooh!
20:31Confound it!
20:33What?
20:53He's having a bit of trouble.
20:55Can't he get back in?
20:57Do something!
20:59What?
21:01I don't know!
21:05Get me in!
21:07How?
21:11Like thundering dunce!
21:13I don't know how!
21:15See if you can help him
21:17before he blows himself up.
21:21Shit!
21:23I can't do it. I can't do it!
21:25Of course you can.
21:27If you got out, you must be able to get back in.
21:29Why must I?
21:31It stands to reason.
21:33Reason has nothing to do with it.
21:35You said you'd mastered it.
21:37That was getting out!
21:39Here, hold me hand.
21:41One,
21:43two, three...
21:47Shit!
21:51Oh, heck!
21:53He should never have gone out.
21:55Very silly of him.
21:57Don't despair, Sir George.
22:07Funny, ain't it?
22:09Very funny, ain't it?
22:11I'll teach you to make a fool of me, you
22:13disembodied money-grubbing old catch-penny!
22:15I'll have you consigned to limbo
22:17for the rest of eternity!
22:19No! No limbo's too good for you!
22:21I'll have you sent down!
22:23Down!
22:33Where are you, you old devil?
22:37Come out and fight like a...
22:39Come out and fight!
22:43Wait!
22:45Oh!
22:47Oh!
22:49Ooh!
22:51Don't, Sir George!
22:53Don't!
22:57Oh!
22:59My God,
23:01he's gone, now I am dead!
23:03His secret locked within my head!
23:05In his head, of course!
23:07You cunning old fuck!
23:09I saved Motley!
23:11Yes.
23:13Gutting? Must be.
23:15Quick, get the treasure onto the table.
23:17He's bound to see it there. But I can tell him about it.
23:19No, no, no, no, better write a note.
23:21A note? Yes, all it bears to rule.
23:23I'll find it.
23:33Bound to see it there.
23:35He'll get such a shock.
23:37You know, I sometimes wonder
23:39what old Gutting would do without us.
23:41He'd never look after this place on his own.
23:43No, he'd be lost. Absolutely.
23:45I mean, he's a good-hearted enough sort of chap,
23:47but, well, in my opinion,
23:49the fella definitely lacks flair.
23:51Inability to cope with emergencies.
23:53What's insurance? As things get on top of him.
23:55Bit of a ditherer, don't you know?
23:57What's insurance, Sir George?
23:59In fact, it's jolly lucky for him that... Insurance!
24:01Is it money?
24:03Gutting said... Insurance!
24:05Why on earth didn't I think of it?
24:07Of course!
24:09The property is bound to be insured!
24:11Do you mean that old...
24:13He don't need it, never did.
24:15All that bother for nothing.
24:17They're coming in.
24:19Quick, hide the treasure.
24:21Where?
24:35What'll we do with it?
24:37For a rainy day.
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