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TVTranscript
00:00♪
00:30A lot's changed since the last series of A Bit Of Fry And Laurie.
00:53That's right.
00:56When A Bit Of Fry And Laurie last appeared on our screens, we looked something like this.
01:05Oh, dear. It's hard to believe we could get away with noses like that, isn't it?
01:10You're the one on the right, Hugh.
01:13Anyway, we thought it might be interesting to chart just some of the changes that have gone on in this United Kingdom since that time.
01:21That's right.
01:24Then we thought perhaps it wouldn't be interesting.
01:28That's right.
01:30And so we decided not to.
01:35Instead, we've each written a song that sums up our feelings about what's gone on in the last hectic one and a bit years.
01:42My song first. I've called it, quite simply, The Years That Fell Away.
01:47This is it here. There it is.
01:51Yes, my song is called, rather more complicatedly, Time, Where Did You Go?
02:00Time, where did you go?
02:04That's all I had time for, I'm afraid.
02:07Time, where did you go?
02:20Stephen, what are you doing?
02:22Ah, well, I'll explain, Hugh.
02:25A year and a bit ago, I was flabby, overweight, and it grieves me to say so, deeply unattractive.
02:33Since then, a friend put me on to dancer sizes.
02:38I won't tell you who this friend was, but if I drop the hint that it was a prominent quantity surveyor, I think you'll probably guess.
02:46He put me on to dancer sizing, and I think it was probably the most valuable thing he's ever done in his otherwise futile and squalid life.
02:57The key to dancer size is the rather ingenious coupling of the word dance to the word circumcise.
03:08Let's now pretend that I am a prominent quantity surveyor, and Hugh is Geoffrey Cavendish, a client.
03:17You'll see that I'm able to work, and while I work, able to build in all kinds of strengthening and toning movements.
03:25Morning, Geoffrey.
03:26Morning, Dennis.
03:28Do you have any quantities for me to survey this morning?
03:32Yes, I have got one quantity I'd very much like you to survey, yes.
03:36This quantity here?
03:37That's the fellow.
03:40All right. Well, that's got that quantity surveyed. Any others?
03:45Not just now, Dennis, no.
03:46All right, but you will let me know.
03:48Dennis, if I have any more quantities for you to survey, you'll be the first to know about it.
03:52Great.
03:53Oh, and by the way...
03:54Yes?
03:55Love that body.
03:56Thanks. It's mine.
03:59I think it's...
04:02See this? You could eat your dinner off this.
04:07Sex is nothing Facts Home are about.
04:11Ah, yes, we took the caravan down to Dorset this summer and pushed it over a cliff.
04:19Yeah?
04:20Er, you got any grollings?
04:24Beg your pardon?
04:25Er, I need a dozen grollings.
04:28Flushed or galvanised?
04:29Flushed.
04:32There you go.
04:33That a lot?
04:34Er, no, we've got a copper flange pipe.
04:38Flange pipe.
04:39Two jamborees and seven nipples.
04:43Do you want the nipples greased?
04:45Greased nipples, yeah.
04:47There we go.
04:50Five olive spandrels, jigged and onioned.
04:53Right, 12 or 17 mil?
04:5512 mil.
04:58Er, metre of fleeling wire, coaxial.
05:01Fleeling wire.
05:02Fleeling wire.
05:04Here we go.
05:0520 cock grip shafting sleeves.
05:14And a parping couplet.
05:16Parping couplet. Do you want male or female?
05:18Male.
05:20Er, actually, second thoughts, one of each.
05:23Er, do you want the male parping couplet standing proud?
05:25No.
05:27Er, embarrassed, I think.
05:33Right, there's your female, there's your embarrassed male.
05:36Er, six sheets of bruddock paper.
05:38Parkinised?
05:39No.
05:41There we go.
05:42Nearly there.
05:43And four felching pens and a bevelled spilled trunnion.
05:49Yeah, I think we've only got one felching pen left, as it happens.
05:52Right.
05:53Got some frotting pencils, eh?
05:55I do.
05:56Well, you know the thrush plate?
05:58Yeah.
05:59Well, you can use the frotting pencil on that.
06:01You see, rude to the lookout valve on the fumpspoke.
06:03I'll cut out the felching altogether,
06:05provided you remember to rim the satchel arm properly first.
06:07Oh, right, well, I'll have the frotting pencils.
06:09Four frotting pencils, right.
06:10Two, three, four.
06:11Right.
06:12Er, and the bevelled spilled trunnion.
06:14Bevelled spilled trunnion, beg your pardon, yes.
06:17Great.
06:18That's a lot, then, is it?
06:19Yep.
06:20Yeah, you've already got a triple knob joint with snatch membrane, have you?
06:24I don't know.
06:25Well, are you going straight or curved?
06:27Straight, then curved.
06:28Nah, should be OK, as long as you remember to suck the clenching lobe tight to the bowl thrust.
06:33Yeah, obviously, yeah.
06:34Yeah.
06:35And whatever you do, don't forget to lubricate your slip-hull before any grip-jigging.
06:42How dare you!
06:43Sorry.
06:46Dammit, Peter!
06:47John!
06:49Dammit, four times around the car park and back in for another dammit!
06:54Do I get the feeling that something's on your mind, John?
06:57Come on, Peter, you know what the hell I'm talking about.
07:01And I guess I'd say this had something to do with the DDL Enterprises takeover bid.
07:06You know, it's funny, Peter.
07:09Four years, four hard years I put into building up this health club,
07:15and now, now I've got to sit back and let some group of wet-arsed college kids just slide in and take it away from me.
07:23I know, John, it makes me vomit just to think of it.
07:27If only...
07:29If only Marjorie hadn't left the way she had.
07:33Oh, come on, John!
07:34You can't go on blaming yourself for that.
07:36You and Marjorie had...
07:37Had?
07:38Had what?
07:39A marriage that was no more than a bad joke and not even a very good one?
07:43You made some mistakes, John, that's all.
07:46You and Marjorie just had, well, what can I say,
07:49different ideas about where the company was headed.
07:51End of story.
07:53Dammit, Marjorie was good, Peter.
07:55As a wife or as a business partner?
07:59Is there a difference?
08:01I hope so, John.
08:04And now we're up to our arses in our worst ever takeover scrap.
08:09She's sunning herself in the south of France.
08:11South of Wales, actually, John.
08:13Well, wherever the blue rings tell she is.
08:16That isn't... Goddammit, this is no time for you to start feeling sorry for yourself.
08:20But dammit, every which way but one, Peter.
08:23John, do something for me.
08:25Come up here to the window and take a look.
08:28What is this, some kind of game?
08:30No game, John.
08:31Tell me what you see.
08:33I see a car park.
08:36Well, that's funny, John, because the last time you looked out of that window,
08:40you saw an idea, don't you remember?
08:43Yes, I remember thinking that would be a good place to put a car park.
08:47Dammit, John, you're not listening to me.
08:49I'm talking about the big idea, the dream that you and I shared.
08:53The dream of a health club that would put the town of Eutoxida on the goddamn map.
09:00Yeah, well, maybe...
09:03Maybe?!
09:05I don't believe I'm hearing this. What the hell happened to the old John?
09:09We pulled it down when we built the car park.
09:12No, dammit, John, you're not hearing me.
09:15Dammit, I... No, don't you dammit, I, me.
09:18We've got that close, and you're just gonna...
09:20You're just gonna lie down and walk away?
09:23Peter, don't... Don't harass me, I'm tired.
09:26Oh, tired, be damned!
09:28A man... A man's got to know when he's licked, Peter,
09:32and I know the feeling I've been licked before.
09:35Jesus, and all those Lord Saints Preservers.
09:38Did I ever tell you about the time Marjorie licked me?
09:41Oh, yeah.
09:43She licked me good and proper, and I've got that feeling again,
09:46and it's sore, Peter.
09:49Maybe it's time I moved on and just...
09:54John, I'm gonna look out of this window now and tell you what I see.
09:58What is this, Peter? More games?
10:01Same game, John, different rules.
10:03I see Tom, Sally, Debbie.
10:07Sally, but Sally called herself in off sick with the flu.
10:10Exactly, John, exactly, but she came in here today
10:14because she believes in you. God knows why!
10:17Because she believes in what you're trying to do here, in eutoxida.
10:20And you're telling me that you're just gonna walk away from these kids
10:24and just turn your back on...
10:26Dammit, I make no apology. A vision?
10:28Dammit, Peter, maybe you're right.
10:31You're damn right, maybe I'm right.
10:33Damn, double damn, and an extra pint of damn for the weekend.
10:36Damn!
10:38Get a fat summer to Clifford Hardinson's, EGM three o'clock tomorrow.
10:42Find out where Janet is and pull Martin in.
10:44From where the hell is Martin?
10:46I wake him. Right, and get Sarah in here now.
10:49We've got an agenda to work out.
10:52Welcome back to the fight, John.
10:54Sorry if I was a little rough on you back there.
10:57Oh, I deserved it, Peter. I was acting like a damned amateur.
11:01Oh, and John, if Marjorie should call...
11:04If Marjorie should call, tell her I'm busy.
11:10Damn!
11:12Are you ready?
11:14Yeah, any time. I was standing here, and this guy...
11:16I was just talking to the cameraman, OK?
11:18Oh, right, sorry. OK, yeah.
11:20Basically, I'm just going to ask you to tell in your own words precisely what you saw.
11:23Yeah, I was standing here, and this guy came harrying around the corner...
11:26No, no, no, can you wait? Can you wait until...
11:28Oh, right, sorry.
11:30I ask you a direct question, OK?
11:32I'm right. I was standing here, and this guy came harrying around the corner.
11:35I thought he was going to hit that wall there.
11:37No, can you wait until I've asked you a question?
11:40Oh, right, sorry, yeah, yeah, sorry.
11:42All right, now then.
11:44I was standing here, and this guy...
11:46Wait a minute!
11:48Oh, sorry, sorry, yeah.
11:50Right, right. Brian, are we ready?
11:52Yep, ready. OK, then. I was standing here, and this guy...
11:54Shut up!
11:56Oh, right, yeah.
11:58Please do not say anything until I have asked you a question.
12:02Oh, right, I'll get you, I'll get you. Sorry, sorry, yeah, OK.
12:05Good. Right. Thank you. Now...
12:07I was standing here, and this guy came harrying around the corner...
12:10Wait until I have asked you a question!
12:16OK.
12:18Right!
12:21I was standing here, and this guy...
12:29I was going through my grandfather's old hair dryers the other day
12:34when I came across this,
12:36wedged in the filter of a Pifco Ultramatic Ready Tress.
12:41It's a letter written to my grandfather
12:43by the then Secretary of State for Housing,
12:46Ernest Dalloway, later, of course, Lord Dalloway of Sharples.
12:51I'll read it to you, actually, because it's quite interesting.
12:54Dear Sir, your letter to the Home Secretary
12:56has been passed on to me as Minister in Charge of Urban Development.
13:00I dream of covering your upturned face with a thousand burning kisses.
13:04Well, there's a lot more like that.
13:06Oh, yes, here we are, here we are. This is...
13:08Now, now, this is a good bit.
13:10I would direct your attention to section 17 of the Housing Act,
13:13Urban, 1916, paragraph 5,
13:16where a local authority has given no other sanction...
13:20You furious ball of shining beauty, blah, blah, blah.
13:23Blah, blah, blah, blah, yes.
13:25..the entitlement to grants under the scheme
13:27will come mandatorily into operation.
13:29Please, please let me stroke your lovely thigh.
13:32I hope this answers your inquiry in the matter of 14 Stanchell Avenue.
13:37I yearn to drink clarified butter from your armpits, etc.
13:40Blah, blah, blah.
13:41Ernest Dalloway.
13:43Fascinating little glimpse of history there, I think.
13:47My father was a Conservative.
13:49My mother voted Labour,
13:51so I suppose by rights I should be a Liberal Democrat.
13:54But in actual fact, I'm a Nazi.
13:59Ah, Mr Arthur Medleycott, is it?
14:01Yes, you, er...
14:03You're a bit young to me. Still, I suppose you'll do.
14:06Right. Well, that's nice.
14:09So, now, I shall be calling you Arthur, if I may.
14:13You may not. You'll call me Mr Medleycott.
14:16And don't simper.
14:19Very well.
14:20Er, so, why are you here, Mr Medleycott?
14:24Well, what do you think? You're a psychiatrist, aren't you?
14:27I haven't come here for dancing lessons or free sex.
14:30I've come here to be cured.
14:32Cured of what?
14:34Oh, for heaven's sake, am I going to have to teach you your job?
14:38Of madness, of course. I'm slightly mad.
14:40And I want you to cure me.
14:42Of what?
14:45You're mad?
14:47Am I going to have to say everything twice?
14:49Now, just get on with it, if you wouldn't mind.
14:51I'm a busy man and I'd be grateful if you'd get a move on.
14:54Right. Would you like to tell me why you think you're mad?
14:57What is this? Some sort of game?
15:00Do you imagine I've got time to waste walking around thinking that I'm mad?
15:04I am mad.
15:05Just take my word for it, will you? Let's have a little less lip.
15:09Right. So, how does this madness of yours manifest itself?
15:14Heaven's sake, watch closely.
15:17You take off your shoes and you put a piece of bread in each one.
15:21I know I do!
15:24What is your problem?
15:26So, what happens next?
15:29I take the bread out of my shoes and hide it in my secretary's handbag.
15:33Then I take it out of her handbag and throw it in the bin.
15:36Well, you won't be doing that today, will you, because your secretary isn't here.
15:40Oh, give the man his bread!
15:42So, that's it, is it?
15:45Oh, well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if it's not enough for you.
15:48I'm sure you'd rather that I went around wrapped in bacon rind
15:52pretending to be Florence Nightingale.
15:54Well, I'm sorry. I'm as mad as I am, but no madder.
15:58I see.
16:00So, what are you going to do about this madness of mine?
16:02Nothing. I don't think it's a good idea.
16:04Well, I don't think it's a good idea.
16:06Well, I don't think it's a good idea.
16:08Well, I don't think it's a good idea.
16:11Nothing. I don't think you're mad at all.
16:13Oh! Oh, you think it's perfectly usual, do you,
16:16to put a slice of bread in your shoes on a daily basis?
16:20That's normal practice, is it, in your foul part of the world?
16:24Well, you're welcome to second opinion, of course,
16:26but I don't think you're mad. Eccentric, certain.
16:29This is what we pay our psychiatrists for, is it?
16:31Well, well, well, well, well, well.
16:33Yes, I shall be writing a very stiff letter to the Daily Mail about this.
16:37Hmm.
16:38Now, cure me of my madness, or I won't put my shoes on ever.
16:42You write letters to the Daily Mail?
16:47Not exclusively the Mail, though. Sometimes the Sun or the Mirror.
16:51And they're published?
16:52Well, of course.
16:54Just a moment.
16:56Is this one of yours?
17:00Er, a good way to stop your money being stolen...
17:03Is to keep it in a special pocket sewn inside your coat.
17:07You're June Ellis of Stockport?
17:09Of course.
17:10What about this one?
17:12Erm...
17:15Why can't bus conductors be more friendly?
17:18A smile a day keeps the doctor away, and it's free, too.
17:26Chest signs?
17:2742.
17:28Wait here, I'll get your straitjacket.
17:31The lengths you have to go to to prove you're mad.
17:37I went round to her primary school, cos they had that end of term thing,
17:40and they shoved all their paintings, all the paintings they'd done in her class,
17:43they shoved them all round the wall.
17:44Oh, crap!
17:46As we look down now on this glorious July afternoon,
17:49what a splendid sight it is, Peter.
17:51It's an absolute picture, isn't it? The Sun beating down now.
17:54Beautiful day.
17:55Crowds. Not a seat to be had anywhere.
17:57Packed house.
17:58Packed house.
17:59Absolutely packed. And the grass looking so lovely.
18:02Green as anything.
18:03Green as you like. Absolutely as green as can be.
18:05Grass has never looked greener.
18:07What a scene, what a scene.
18:08Marvellous scene.
18:09Oh, I say! Look, there's a bus.
18:11Oh, yes, look, there's a beautiful old English...
18:13What is that? Is that number 29?
18:15It's a 29 bus, yes.
18:16Beautiful English 29 bus, yes. What a marvellous scene.
18:19Grass, sun, bus. Marvellous.
18:21Yes.
18:22Yes, and that bus making its way now along the Garboldisham Road.
18:26Garboldisham. Beautiful village there.
18:28Oh, an absolutely delightful village, yes.
18:30Garboldisham. What a lovely name.
18:32Oh, lovely name. Lovely English name, yes.
18:36Hello, hello, there's some people getting off the bus.
18:38Oh, oh, look out!
18:40You have to enjoy good old English strawberries and cream.
18:43Oh, English, yes, yes. Watch out for those German strawberries.
18:46Yes, not the same.
18:47No, not the same thing at all, no.
18:49English strawberries and cream.
18:5129 bus going down the Garboldisham Road.
18:54Grass.
18:55Cream.
18:56Garboldisham.
18:57Crowds.
18:58The South Downs.
19:00Ovaltine.
19:01Cream.
19:02Heaps of cream.
19:04Cream and lawnmowers.
19:06Oh, summer holidays in creamy chroma.
19:09Vaulting over a stile in a country lane.
19:11Catching sticklebacks in an old tin can.
19:14Honestly, nanny, I never touched them.
19:16Piano lessons with Mrs Duckworth.
19:19Father's hands on the steering wheel.
19:21Sit up straight.
19:22Oh, going faster and faster.
19:24Locked in the cupboard for being rude to Mrs Howlett.
19:27Take the Wolseley for a run.
19:29Oh, England, Elgar.
19:30South Downs.
19:31Oh, Baltholivers.
19:32Oh, play the game.
19:34Elbows off the table.
19:35Who's a brave soldier then?
19:36Oh, nanny's hands all steamy and starched.
19:39England and cream.
19:40Creamy old England.
19:41Custard cream.
19:42Strawberries and cream.
19:43Strawberries.
19:44English cream.
19:45Creamy.
19:46England.
19:47Cream.
19:48The most cream of all England.
19:50Oh!
19:51Oh!
19:52Oh, I say.
19:54Oh, I say.
19:55Oh, my word.
19:56Oh.
19:57Oh.
19:58Oh.
19:59Oh, dear.
20:00And, er...
20:01And Eric Bristow steps onto the ocean now.
20:06Well, the thick...
20:07Oh, Christ, I've left the iron on.
20:17Hello, Control.
20:20Er, Control?
20:23Are you all right?
20:25You appear to be taking your pulse.
20:27I'm a Russian spy, Tony.
20:29That's what I am.
20:32I beg your pardon?
20:33I plan to overthrow the Queen.
20:37Control, this is a bit of a surprise.
20:40All the more so because you're actually the head of British intelligence.
20:44I aim to undermine our entire Western way of life.
20:48Well, before you do that, Control,
20:50I'd better go and telephone the relevant authorities.
20:53And as a precaution, please don't open any more letters.
20:57Tony, I'm not really a Russian spy.
21:00Well, now, Control, you mustn't say that just to spare me the paperwork.
21:05No, honestly, Tony, I'm not.
21:07And you were right. I was taking my pulse.
21:10Well, I thought so because you appeared to be gripping your wrist
21:13lightly but firmly and counting to yourself.
21:15You see, the Americans have come up with a new machine
21:18called a lie detector that helps you find out
21:21whether somebody's telling a fib.
21:23Surely that would be quite useful for people in our line of work, Control.
21:26Exactly.
21:28It's based on the well-known scientific principle
21:31that when you tell a fib, your pulse speeds up.
21:35Gosh, how ingenious.
21:37But at the same time, how quite simple.
21:41Sadly enough, the machines are rather expensive to buy.
21:45Oh, dear.
21:48Our American counterparts do often seem to have more money to spend
21:52than we do, don't they, Control?
21:54But, Tony, I often say what we lack in money,
21:57we more than make up for in British know-how.
22:00I'm not quite following you, Control.
22:02At a fraction of the cost, I've come up with this lie detector.
22:06Of course, a stopwatch.
22:09It cuts out the need for expensive and cumbersome equipment.
22:12That's quite right.
22:14I was telling a deliberate fib when I told you that I was a Russian agent.
22:18Ah!
22:20You wanted to see if your pulse got faster.
22:23That's right.
22:24Did it?
22:25No.
22:27Oh, dear.
22:29If your pulse didn't speed up, that must mean...
22:31Yes, when I said I was a Russian spy,
22:34I must have been telling the truth.
22:38So, on the very first try of this technique,
22:41you've discovered that you, the head of British intelligence,
22:44are actually a Soviet agent.
22:46Yes.
22:47Tony, the minister will be ever so pleased.
22:50Don't you think we ought to test the technique again just to make certain?
22:53Yes.
22:54It wouldn't be a very good idea to go around the place
22:56boasting that we've discovered that I'm a top Soviet agent
22:59if we weren't absolutely certain.
23:02My thoughts exactly, Control.
23:04Right, you tell me a fib this time,
23:06and I'll see if your pulse speeds up.
23:08Right.
23:09I've got to think of something that isn't true.
23:13Oh, yes, I know.
23:15My name is Susan Donovan.
23:19Well, that seems to prove it.
23:21Really?
23:22Yes, Susan, really.
23:29Control?
23:30Susie?
23:32Why don't we go back to our old method?
23:34You mean...?
23:35Yes.
23:36The good old British secret service way
23:38of finding out if someone's telling you a fib or not.
23:41All right. You first.
23:43Right.
23:45Is your name Tony Murchison?
23:48Yes.
23:49Cub's honour.
23:50Right.
23:51My turn.
23:53Are you a Russian spy?
23:55I am not a Russian spy.
23:57Cross my heart and hope to die.
24:01Phew!
24:02Well, I'm glad we got that one sorted out.
24:05Tell you what, Control.
24:06What, Tony?
24:07I'm going to bring you a cup of nice coffee now.
24:11And, Control...
24:13That's the truth.
24:15Boom!
24:21Ladies and gentlemen, this is a very exciting moment for me,
24:24and indeed for everyone here on the show.
24:26It's a real honour to be able to welcome a man
24:28who, perhaps more than any other, can lay claim to the title superstar.
24:32Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome Michael Jackson!
24:42Michael, thank you very much indeed for coming on the show.
24:45It's a great pleasure. Great pleasure.
24:47Because I know you must be frantically busy at the moment.
24:50Things are a bit hectic just now, yes.
24:52Because I believe you've actually got a new album coming out.
24:55Absolutely right. A brand-new album.
24:57Even the little hole in the middle is new.
25:00I love those clothes, by the way.
25:02Oh, thank you. Yes, this is pretty plain Irish thorn-proof, actually.
25:05I mean, it's very hard-wearing, but I've had it for years.
25:08Right. I bet right now there are kids all over the world
25:10desperately trying to copy that look.
25:12Well...
25:14Perhaps.
25:18Now, Michael...
25:20You've been in the music business for, well, most of your life.
25:24Nigh on.
25:25Michael, I have to put this to you. This is difficult for me.
25:27But there have been allegations over the years
25:30that you have, with the aid of plastic surgery,
25:33set about altering your appearance.
25:36Yes, well, that's...
25:38That's just the newspapers, isn't it? You know.
25:40So you completely deny this?
25:42Well, I don't think it's even worth denying, really.
25:44You know, I think what it boils down to
25:46is people being perhaps jealous of my success.
25:48And, you know, they'll print anything.
25:51Right, right. Now, we have actually got a photograph of you here.
25:56This is when you just signed to Motown.
25:59It's an early publicity shot.
26:00It has to be said, you do look quite a bit different there.
26:05I was eight years old, for goodness sake!
26:08I mean, we've all changed.
26:10Yes, right.
26:11Well, Michael, I hope that's answered your critics.
26:14And now I believe you're actually going to do for us
26:16a song off the new album.
26:17That's right. It's called Move It On Out, Girl.
26:19Ladies and gentlemen, Move It On Out, Girl, Michael Jackson!
26:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:36LAUGHTER
26:47WHISTLE BLOWS
26:50Move it on out, girl
26:54Don't you leave me for this, girl
26:58Put it somewhere else, girl
27:02But don't you move it on in, whoa!
27:05Don't you move it on in, girl
27:09I have to find another girl, girl
27:13Don't you leave me trapped, girl
27:17But don't you move it on in, whoa!
27:22LAUGHTER
27:23WHISTLE BLOWS
27:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:27There we go.
27:30Is there a...
27:32Is there a problem?
27:33No, no, no, no, Michael, that was very enjoyable.
27:36Very enjoyable. I love that body, by the way.
27:38Oh, thank you. I'd dance the sides.
27:40I thought so, yes.
27:42No, no, it's just that I...
27:43Well, I'm sorry to have to put this to you,
27:45but I could not help noticing that you were miming.
27:49No, I wasn't.
27:50Yes, you were.
27:51No, I wasn't.
27:54I just think this is so disappointing.
27:56It's so hard for the kids nowadays
27:58to see an artist do a live performance.
28:00Look, I know some people do it,
28:02but I promise you that miming is simply not the Michael Jackson way.
28:07Achoo!
28:10It's tragic, really, isn't it, ladies and gentlemen?
28:12Anyway, there you go.
28:14Good night.
28:44Good night.