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00:45Good heavens.
00:47Look at this. Who is this well-dressed stranger?
00:50Could it be Count Dracula popped in from the dead
00:53to have a quick bite?
00:54Why don't you give it a rest?
00:56It's Rigsby.
00:57It's Rigsby.
00:59I didn't recognise him, did you?
01:01No, it must be the suit.
01:02I've never seen you in a suit before, Rigsby.
01:04Have you had a bereavement?
01:07I came up here to see what you thought of me.
01:08Just going to be funny, of course.
01:09No, no, no, Rigsby.
01:11Let's have a look at you.
01:12My God, when did you last wear this?
01:14VJ night?
01:15Listen, mate, this is a good suit.
01:17This is real quality. You feel that material?
01:18This is thorn-proof.
01:20Feels bullet-proof to me.
01:21Don't listen to him, Rigsby.
01:23You look very smart.
01:24Thank you very much.
01:25Well, I knew you knew more about clothes than him.
01:27Matter of fact, that's why I came up here.
01:28I'd like your opinion.
01:29Now, be honest. I don't mind.
01:31Well, if I may make a criticism...
01:34Yes?
01:35It is a little dull.
01:36Dull?
01:37Yes.
01:38It would be for you, wouldn't it?
01:39What do you mean?
01:40Not enough bright colours, I suppose.
01:42I'm not talking about bright colours.
01:43I don't like bright colours.
01:45What? Give you a bale of coloured cloth,
01:46you'd dance till sunset.
01:47Matter of fact, Rigsby,
01:49my favourite colour happens to be black.
01:52Black? You couldn't wear black.
01:53You'd disappear.
01:54Rigsby, when I said your suit was dull,
01:56I didn't mean the colour.
01:58I simply meant there's no style, no flair.
02:00It's dull.
02:01Ah.
02:02I suppose you'd improve it with a few beads and a shrunken head.
02:05I think one shrunken head's enough, Rigsby.
02:08OK, well, I'm nervous, wasting me time.
02:10What do you two know about fashion anyway?
02:12Look, we know enough not to wear white scarves and kid gloves.
02:15Listen, mate, listen.
02:16I can... I can...
02:17Suit, scarf, you can...
02:18White gloves, you can wear them,
02:19and I can go anywhere in these.
02:20There's more than you could.
02:21You look like one of the Untouchables.
02:23I'll give you one.
02:24You should talk, Michael.
02:25I was walking behind you yesterday.
02:27It was a bloody disgrace.
02:28What do you mean?
02:29The blokes outside the blue room
02:30were making bets on which sex you were.
02:31All you needed was a handbag.
02:33And those trousers.
02:35What's wrong with them?
02:36God, they're crippling you.
02:37You keep wearing those, mate.
02:39In two years, you'll be singing soprano.
02:41At least there's plenty of room in this suit.
02:44Where'd you get it?
02:45Off a dead German.
02:46Oh.
02:47As a matter of fact, Spooner threw it out.
02:49It's not flared enough for him.
02:51He's very fussy about his clothes.
02:52I thought I could smell his cologne.
02:55Hey, you sure he's a wrestler?
02:56Smells more like a male model.
02:58Don't let him hear you say that, mate.
03:00He'll tear your head off.
03:01And don't call him the animal for nothing, you know.
03:03Have you got any suits of your own, then?
03:04There's my demob suit.
03:06Don't you worry.
03:07A bit past it now, of course.
03:09Now, I couldn't wear it.
03:10All the lining to the pockets have gone, you know,
03:11with carrying too much small change.
03:13You know, put your hands in your pockets,
03:14you find yourself clutching your kneecaps.
03:17No, no, no.
03:18Those suits are coming back, you know.
03:19They're very fashionable.
03:20No, no, it's very, very shiny.
03:21If I stand in a strong light, I start shimmering.
03:24No, no, that wouldn't be any good at all.
03:26I'll have to...
03:27Rigsby, you haven't told us why you're all dressed up.
03:29What?
03:30What's the special occasion?
03:31Hmm.
03:32How do you know?
03:33Don't you have any idea at all?
03:34No.
03:35You're a heartless pair, you two.
03:37It just happens to be Miss Jones's birthday.
03:40Are you sure?
03:41I saw the cards arrive this morning.
03:42He's right.
03:43She mentioned it last week.
03:44I've just remembered.
03:45Ah, just remembered.
03:46You're a bit late now, aren't you?
03:47I can't...
03:48Two cards, that's all she had.
03:50Yeah.
03:51I bet she's down there sobbing her socks off.
03:53Not that you two would be able to do it.
03:54She probably hasn't even got a birthday cake.
03:56Just a bit of Swiss roll.
03:57Well, it's not good enough.
03:59Birthday can be a very emotional time for a woman like that,
04:01you know, living on her own.
04:02She'll be sitting down there in her blue glasses,
04:04looking back over the years.
04:05And what's she got to show for today?
04:06A couple of cards and a Swiss roll.
04:09I wonder how old she is.
04:10Never you mind.
04:11Anyway, the point is this.
04:13What are we...
04:14What are we going to do about it?
04:15What can we do about it now?
04:17Well, I have already done something.
04:19What?
04:20I've booked a table at the Grange.
04:25The Grange?
04:26They'll never let you in there.
04:27I beg your pardon?
04:28Look, you've already been banned from the British Legion
04:30for poking that stripper with a stick of celery.
04:33What makes you think you'll be welcome at the Grange?
04:35Look, they won't let you pass the door dressed like that.
04:37It just so happens I know Charlie Briggs, the manager.
04:40Oh, yeah.
04:41I bet he was in your mob during the war.
04:43No, no.
04:44He should have been.
04:45Actually, he spent most of the war on the fourth roof
04:46behind the water tank.
04:48Have you asked Ruth if she wants to go?
04:50Well, no.
04:51As a matter of fact, I have.
04:52And that's why I came up here.
04:53I thought, you know, if I asked her,
04:54she might get the wrong idea.
04:56What do you mean, wrong idea?
04:57Well, you know, she might think, you know.
04:59You know, she might get the idea that...
05:01Never mind what wrong idea.
05:02You're coming, aren't you?
05:03No.
05:04I can't go to the Grange.
05:05I haven't got any money.
05:06You've never got any money, have you?
05:07Have you taken a vow of poverty or something?
05:09You know, I can't manage on my grant.
05:11Well, here we go.
05:12I can feel the tears coming already.
05:14All right, I'll pay for you.
05:16Oh, thanks for expecting me.
05:18I'll put it on your rent.
05:20What about you, Philip?
05:21Hmm?
05:22I'm not paying for him as well.
05:23No, I was only asking if you wanted to come.
05:25Oh.
05:26Well, do you?
05:27Yes, why not?
05:28Good.
05:29Now, you go and ask her.
05:34Go on, quick, before she gets her blue glasses on.
05:39Who is it?
05:43It's Philip.
05:44Can I see you for a moment?
05:45No.
05:46Come on, Ruth.
05:47Open the door.
05:48You know you don't want to see me.
05:49I do.
05:50No, you don't.
05:51Go away.
05:52Well, if that's how you feel.
05:54If you're going to stand there all night, I'll have to let you in.
05:58I suppose you've just remembered it's my birthday.
06:00Many happy returns, Ruth.
06:02Oh, be quiet.
06:03I feel old.
06:05You're not old.
06:06Well, I'm older than you.
06:08How old are you?
06:09Never mind that.
06:11I look old.
06:12Ruth, you're an attractive woman.
06:14You know you don't mean that.
06:15Yes, I do.
06:16You are.
06:17You're very attractive.
06:19Well, I'm not going to argue with you.
06:22A man did call out to me today as I was on my way home.
06:25What did he say?
06:26He said,
06:27Hello, beautiful.
06:29There you are, you see.
06:30I think he was drunk.
06:32Why do you think that?
06:33Because after he said it, he sank down in the middle of the road.
06:38Well, you're still an attractive woman.
06:40You are.
06:41You don't look a day over 30.
06:43I am not a day over 30.
06:46And anyway, if I'm so attractive,
06:47why am I spending my birthday here alone?
06:50I should be exchanging gay repartee with beautiful friends.
06:54I should be surrounded with laughter and clinking glasses.
06:58Instead of which, I'm trying to decide whether to do the ironing
07:01or try on another mud pack.
07:03Ruth.
07:06You're not alone.
07:07Well, I may just as well be.
07:09No one ever talks to me here.
07:11I wish I'd never left the badminton club.
07:13But they never talk to you there.
07:14Well, at least we shout in the score to each other.
07:17And they'd have remembered my birthday.
07:19But I have remembered your birthday.
07:21What?
07:22We're going to the Grange.
07:24Philip, why didn't you tell me before?
07:26I shouldn't have gone on like this.
07:28The Grange.
07:29Oh, it'll be so exciting.
07:30There'll be dancing by candlelight.
07:32Oh, it'll be so romantic, just the two of us.
07:36Well, not just the two of us.
07:41Ta-da!
07:42Is it all right?
07:43Yeah, of course it's all right.
07:44Tony's out.
07:45Well, I don't know.
07:46Spooner's very funny about his clothes.
07:47He knocked a bloke down three flights of stairs once just for wearing his hat.
07:50Look, he never gets back before two, does he?
07:52Eh?
07:55Look, you'll have returned it back then, won't you, Thomas?
07:58Hey, what about this?
08:00I'm not wearing that.
08:02Why not?
08:03Look, I'm going there to eat, not playing the band.
08:06Look, this is the sort of thing they wear there.
08:08Come on, try it on.
08:12There.
08:13What do you think?
08:14Oh, I don't know.
08:15No, no, no, think a bit, Rigsby, think a bit.
08:17There'll be candlelight, orchestra playing in the background,
08:20you in a tuxedo, she won't be able to resist.
08:22But look at all this stuff.
08:23Look, that's the sort of thing they wear there.
08:25Look, you can't wear this, can you?
08:26Eh?
08:27You don't look out of place, do you?
08:28Wait a minute, it's not me who's going to look out of place.
08:30What about our friend here?
08:32Well, why should Philip look out of place?
08:33Well, he may have escaped your notice, but he's a bit on the dark side.
08:37They happen to notice that sort of thing at the Grange.
08:39You'd better tell him to stick close to me.
08:41Who are you going to stick close to?
08:42Look, then there's the knives and forks.
08:45What about the knives and forks?
08:47Well, I mean, they'll be laid out there in front of him
08:49like surgical instruments, won't they?
08:51What do you think he's going to do, eat with his bare hands?
08:53We don't know what he's going to do, do we?
08:55That's why we don't want him dropping any clangers.
08:58We don't want him drinking out the finger bowl, do we?
09:01What about this?
09:02I think I might wear this myself.
09:04Does it light up?
09:06It's a clip-on, of course.
09:07I prefer to tie one on meself.
09:09Spoon will tie one on you if he finds out, I'll tell you.
09:11Hey, are you wearing that?
09:13It's not too bad, is it?
09:14It looks fantastic on you.
09:16Of course, I've got the figure to carry it up, I know.
09:19Yes, I think perhaps...
09:20Yes, I think perhaps tonight's the night.
09:23I think perhaps she is going to be rather surprised when she sees me.
09:27Yes.
09:29Yes?
09:31Just thought I'd let you know the taxi's arrived, Miss Jane.
09:34Yes, I'm nearly ready.
09:36Mr. Rixby!
09:39What do you think, Miss Jane?
09:42Well, yes.
09:43You look very distinguished.
09:45Thank you.
09:46Well, I've always believed in paying for dressing, you know.
09:49I think it's the shoulders that does it, really.
09:51And, after all, it is your birthday.
09:53Yes, it's my birthday.
09:54It's my birthday.
09:55It's my birthday.
09:56It's my birthday.
09:57It's my birthday.
09:58It's my birthday, really.
09:59And, after all, it is your birthday.
10:00We've got to celebrate it in the proper fashion, haven't we?
10:02Now, I've taken the liberty of a little corsage for you.
10:07A corsage?
10:08May I?
10:09It's got a pin in.
10:16Hang on, Miss Jane.
10:17Yes, I...
10:19There.
10:20There.
10:22I hope you don't mind, I've brought you a little present.
10:25Oh, Mr. Rixby, you shouldn't have.
10:27Just a small token of my esteem, is there?
10:30Oh, thank you. What is it?
10:32Perfume.
10:33Oh, how lovely.
10:35It's called Ritual in the Dark.
10:38I don't think I know that one.
10:40No, no, you wouldn't. It's very exclusive.
10:42It's for the woman who has everything.
10:44Well, almost everything.
10:46I thought of you instantly.
10:48It blends the scent of limes with the subtle aroma of sandalwood and tangerine.
10:52Combined, of course, with various aromatic oils known only to the eunuchs.
10:56Guaranteed.
10:58I believe it's guaranteed to set the senses reeling.
11:01That's very kind of you, Mr. Rigsby.
11:04It also contains an atomiser spray, dusting powder,
11:08moisturising body lotion and perfume bubble beads.
11:12That's very, very kind of you.
11:14Not at all, Miss Jones. Glad you like it.
11:16Would you like to try a little drop now, behind your ear?
11:20Somewhere else?
11:22Yes, like?
11:23Certainly.
11:24Thank you very much, Miss Jones. We've got to get you through the street safely.
11:27There?
11:28May I?
11:29Oh, my word, it is intoxicating.
11:31My head's really reeling already.
11:33I think the taxi's ready.
11:35Oh, my God. Don't move, Miss Jones.
11:37What is it?
11:38Keep quite still.
11:42Little blighters, these spiders, aren't they?
11:44They get everywhere.
11:45Yes, they get in bolder every day.
11:47Mr. Rigsby, that was my eyelash.
11:54Thank you.
12:04Trust him to show a clean pair of heels when it comes to the fair.
12:08Right, now, look, Philip, look.
12:10Before we go in, it's all right. Don't be nervous.
12:13What?
12:14If anybody says anything to you, you're with me, OK?
12:16Yes.
12:17Right, good. Now, here we are, you see? Swing doors.
12:19Now, you've got to be careful here, because they're a bit different from the old beaded curtains.
12:22Otherwise...
12:31Ah.
12:33Hello, Charlie.
12:35And where do you think you're going, sir?
12:37I'm just going in.
12:38Oh, no, you're not. Outside.
12:40What do you mean, outside? I've got a table.
12:41Tables are all taken.
12:42I know, I've booked one.
12:44Hello, Charlie.
12:45Why, good evening, Mr. Smith.
12:46Is there some difficulty?
12:48Oh, is this gentleman with you?
12:49Yes.
12:50I'm sorry about that, sir, but one can't be too careful these days.
12:53Your usual table, this way.
13:03Will you care for some more wine, Miss Jones?
13:05Do you think I should? My face is glowing.
13:08Miss Jones, you look radiant.
13:10Not too much.
13:11If I have any more, I should do something silly.
13:13Oh, we'd better have another bottle.
13:16Waiter!
13:17Thank you.
13:18Could we have another bottle?
13:20I say, could we have just another bottle?
13:22Same again, please.
13:23Thank you, sir.
13:27Thank you.
13:29Yes, I've never seen you buy candlelight before, Miss Jones.
13:32The effect is quite magical.
13:35You know, you really grace a dinner table, a woman like you.
13:38You're stimulating the conversation, pushing round the mints.
13:41Yes, we should really do this more often.
13:43Yes.
13:44It was such a good idea of yours to come, Philip.
13:47I'm glad you're enjoying it.
13:50This place has such an ambiance, don't you agree, Mr Rigsby?
13:54Oh, yes, yes.
13:55I mean, everything's so gothic.
13:58And those torch instruments on the wall, they're absolutely genuine.
14:02Oh, yes, of course they're genuine, that's in case you can't pay.
14:04Oh.
14:05They don't make you wash up here, they just screw you up in an iron boot.
14:12The music's started.
14:13Oh, it's simply ages since I've danced.
14:15Yes, of course, Miss Jones, certainly.
14:20Right.
14:23They're bloody cheap.
14:32Where have you been?
14:33Don't go to the bogs.
14:34Why not?
14:36The bloke in there, brushing you down, asking you if you've had a nice holiday.
14:39Cost you 10p to get out.
14:41Should have shown him your Barclay guard.
14:44It's the most expensive one I've ever had.
14:46Mind you, it's had a look, well.
14:47Some people will say anything for 10p.
14:49Mind you, what do you expect in here?
14:50You won't get it for a penny here, you know.
14:53This place reminds me of a visit to my Aunt Hilda's.
14:55A big aloe and a small sherry.
14:57The only difference is her cobwebs are genuine.
15:00A bit better than the blue ram, eh?
15:02At least they don't spit on your shoes.
15:04This is a life hack.
15:05A nice, inoffensive little wine.
15:07A good nose.
15:08A little immature, but could improve.
15:10It's more than you do.
15:12Inoffensive little wine, it tastes like metal polish.
15:15You're just not used to the good life.
15:16Oh, yes, I suppose you are, are you?
15:18Yeah.
15:19Well, let me tell you something.
15:20You're the only bloke I know who sandwiches his peas.
15:24Mind you.
15:25And you can stop cocking your little finger like that.
15:27It doesn't impress anyone.
15:28The way you attacked that food tonight, I didn't know where to look.
15:31Those chops of yours are the nearest thing to perpetual motion I've ever seen.
15:35You're supposed to put the food on the back of your fork, didn't you know?
15:39When your pie crust flew across the table...
15:41All right, all right.
15:44Hey, where's Ruth and Philip?
15:46Over here, dancing.
15:48What?
15:49He's taken a lot on himself, isn't he?
15:51I still want to know why he ordered the meat.
15:53Well, you couldn't do it. It was all in French.
15:55I was managing till he stuck his oar in.
15:57He didn't come here to have place and chips four times.
15:59I just don't know why he can't take the hint.
16:01I've been giving him the nod all evening.
16:03How am I going to get her on her own if he carries on like this?
16:06Look at him now. Look at this.
16:08Look at that nasty chap.
16:10He'll be arching his back past under the tables in a minute.
16:14I feel very sorry for Miss Jones, you know, she can't be enjoying it.
16:17Philip says she's having a good time.
16:18No, no, she's just being polite.
16:20She'd much prefer a slow waltz.
16:22Now, that's what I'm going to score.
16:23He couldn't do a slow waltz to save his life, his feet are all wrong.
16:26If he tries a reverse turn, it'd be half summer elbow.
16:31You wait till they do a slow waltz.
16:33If this lot can do one without electrocuting themselves.
16:35Put a better waltz in!
16:39Everything to your satisfaction, gentlemen.
16:41Oh, oh, fine.
16:42Oh, yes, yes, my word.
16:44You've come a long way from that tea urn in the market, eh, Charlie?
16:47I beg your pardon?
16:48Yes, but you know, I can still see you and your dad
16:50standing behind that urn with those plates of curly sandwiches.
16:52Well, there was nothing wrong with those sandwiches.
16:54Oh, well, I can understand you being loyal to them.
16:56They were in the family a long time.
16:57Couldn't call them fresh, though, could you?
16:59Well, we never had any complaints.
17:00Never had any complaints?
17:01You couldn't get near that counter for food inspectors.
17:03Now, what about that tea, eh?
17:05And what was wrong with the tea?
17:06Oh, it could hardly crawl out of that urn.
17:08You see, it was Charlie's job to dash past the tea
17:10and at high speed with the tea bag.
17:12Would you mind keeping your voice down?
17:14You're annoying the other guests.
17:15Well, don't they know about the stall, then, Charlie?
17:17And don't call me Charlie.
17:19Now, look, I know you're a troublemaker.
17:21I'm going to keep a very close eye on this table,
17:23and if there's any trouble from either of you,
17:25you're out. Right.
17:28Poor old Charlie.
17:29He never did have much sense of humour.
17:31Hey, I've brought the bill, yeah?
17:33It'll be worth it for Miss Jones.
17:36Haven't you noticed her this evening?
17:37Radiant. It's a different woman, you see.
17:39It's a new environment.
17:40I should have done this before.
17:41See, for the first time,
17:42she's beginning to look at me as a man,
17:44not as a landlord.
17:45Are you sure?
17:46You watch for the signs, mate.
17:47If she leaves her hand on mine,
17:49just that shade too long,
17:50you make yourself scarce, all right?
17:52What are you expecting?
17:53What are you doing? Get it off.
17:54There's that spooner over there.
17:56What?
17:57It is, it is. He's coming this way.
17:58God, quick, quick.
18:00He's murdering me if he sees me in this jacket.
18:02Get rid of him, quick.
18:03Oh, I'll get rid of him.
18:06Hello, hello.
18:07Oh, hello, hello, spooner.
18:08I didn't know you came here.
18:09Oh, now and then, now and then.
18:11You'd better not let the old skinflint know,
18:13otherwise he'll be putting your rent up.
18:15Wait a minute, that's my tie.
18:17What?
18:18You're wearing my tie.
18:20Oh, well, I just thought I'd borrow it,
18:24borrow it, spooner.
18:26Nobody borrows my tie.
18:28Nobody borrows my thing.
18:30Spooner.
18:31And in future, keep out of my room.
18:38What's he done to you?
18:39He's taken the tie.
18:40Oh, I thought you'd cut your throat.
18:42Might well have done.
18:43Don't let you in here if you haven't got a tie on.
18:45Oh, you're in now, you're all right, you're in.
18:47You think he'll chuck me out?
18:48Chuck you out for not wearing a tie?
18:49Of course not.
18:50Just give you a couple of turns on the rack, that's all.
18:52Skinflint, he has to remember that.
18:54Just wait till he wants to take a bath,
18:56there's going to be a sudden absence of hot water.
19:04Thank you, Philip.
19:06You're such a natural dancer.
19:08Dancer, is that what you call it?
19:09I thought he was trying to bring rain.
19:12Watch out, don't do it.
19:15You don't call that dancing, do you?
19:16Letting yourself go like that.
19:17Well, personally, I think it's indecent.
19:19Well, you know what it's like when we hear that music, Rigsby.
19:22I'm hoping to have a go on the bongos later.
19:26Not if I have it, you won't.
19:28It's about time you had some decent music,
19:29some Strauss, civilised music.
19:31Couples gliding across the floor as one.
19:36Now's your chance, Rigsby.
19:37All right, all right, don't rush me, don't rush me.
19:42Miss Jones, may I have the pleasure of this wash, please?
19:45Certainly, Mr Rigsby.
19:53It's all right, Miss Jones, if it gets tricky,
19:55don't worry, just follow me, all right?
20:06What's he doing?
20:07He's dancing.
20:08That's how they used to do it in the olden days.
20:18He's like a different fellow, isn't he?
20:19It's incredible.
20:21Crikey, there's Spooner.
20:30What are you doing in my tuxedo, Rigsby?
20:32Dancing, what do you think I'm doing?
20:33You've been in my wardrobe, haven't you?
20:35Look, look, slim you look, Spooner, with a lady.
20:37I want my tuxedo.
20:39Look, look, I've only borrowed it, you can have it back by 12.
20:42Oh, can I?
20:43Well, I've got news for you, Cinderella, the ball's over
20:45and your coach has just turned bang into a pumpkin.
20:47Your coach has just turned bang into a pumpkin.
20:49Now, give me my tuxedo.
20:52I've never been so humiliated in all my life.
20:54I shall never be able to come back to this place again.
20:56Take me home, Philip.
20:58Well, look what you've done, you've ruined it now.
21:00Well, I don't want it back and you ain't going to get
21:02any more rent out of me until it's paid for.
21:11Where is she?
21:12She's gone.
21:13Does she know it?
21:14What do you think?
21:16It's a good job her Spooner, the magistrates,
21:18don't allow me one more punch.
21:20I'm going to have to turn up for now.
21:22I was near to her there, she was definitely weakening.
21:27I understand there's been a disturbance on the dance floor.
21:30A disturbance? I wouldn't call it a disturbance.
21:32Would you call it a disturbance?
21:33No, no, I wouldn't call it a disturbance, just a gentle ripple.
21:35My God, what's this? Hey, look at this.
21:37Excuse me, sir, but you are not wearing a tie.
21:41Er, no, no, no, no.
21:42We have a very strict rule here about gentlemen wearing ties.
21:44It's to keep out the riffraff.
21:46I'm afraid I must ask you to leave.
21:48And you'd better take your friend with you.
21:49Just a minute, I've got a tie, all right?
21:51Oh, yes.
21:52Well, it may have escaped your attention,
21:53but you appear to have only one sleeve.
21:56There's another one here.
21:58You are both improperly dressed,
22:00and I must ask you to settle the bill and leave.
22:02Come on, Rigsby.
22:03Why should we? You stay where you are.
22:05Well, of course, if you want us to use force.
22:07Oh, that's right, throw us out.
22:08I should have expected this.
22:09That's how this country always treats its heroes.
22:11It was different when I was standing between you and Hitler, wasn't it?
22:13Where were you in 1940?
22:15I'll tell you, up in your false roof.
22:17What do you mean?
22:18I went in, I did my bit.
22:19I know where you did your bit, mate,
22:20the 49th deserters.
22:22The red caps are out of your house every Monday morning.
22:24They spent half the war fighting your mother.
22:26What?
22:27Get out of here.
22:28Be careful.
22:29If this shrapnel moves another half inch,
22:30you'll have a death in your hands.
22:32I can understand this.
22:33We're making a fortune, weren't we,
22:34until the G.I.'s found out
22:35half a crown wasn't the same as a penny.
22:38Hey, A.S., you watch what you're eating over there.
22:40What do you think the candles are for,
22:41so she can't see?
22:42Madam, you've got the only
22:43four-legged chicken in captivity.
22:45Everyone's here after this.
22:48I've been thrown out of better places than this, too.
22:49It's a right dump.
22:50Come on, Riggs, please.
22:51All right, all right.
22:52I reckon we've given Miss Jones
22:53a night to remember, eh?
22:54Yeah.
22:55Do you know what? I still feel hungry.
22:56So am I.
22:58Fancy a bag of chips?
22:59Plenty of vinegar.
23:00Lots of scallops?
23:01Mushy peas.
23:02You're on.
23:03Your turn to pay.
23:04Come on.
23:12APPLAUSE
23:42MUSIC FADES