Odd Man Out - 105 [couchtripper][U]
Transcript
00:30Oh
00:38What a relief
00:40You know, I'm sure I've pulled something
00:44That's what you wanted from the supermarket I got everything on your list six of everything from the look of it
00:49I only wanted a bar of soap and a tube of toothpaste
00:52I can't resist a special offer
00:55Look at that
00:57grumpy chunks
00:58Yes, grumpy chunks. Mm-hmm. I fear everything they were a bargain. Hey, how many did you get two dozen?
01:072014
01:08grumpy chunks
01:10Like these why not read the label?
01:13Grumpy chunks large pieces of meat in a rich sauce a satisfying meal for all dogs
01:19I
01:21Put some in a bowl for you under the table. You're a good boy. Oh, very funny
01:27Anybody can make a mistake. What other bargain offers have you succumbed to? Yeah fish staples
01:33for contented kitties
01:37Why didn't you go the home hog and get a few sprays of militants and goldfish food
01:41Well, I can't help it. I'll take them back this afternoon
01:46What's that smell? Oh, I've made a bit of a goulash
01:50It's
01:52For our supper tonight. We used to have that every day in the orphanage. It's put me off for life
01:57Oh, I can taste it now. Was it that bad? I'll tell you how bad it was
02:01You know, they used to send pygmies over from Africa to dip their darts in it
02:05You do exaggerate
02:08Upstairs to make the bed. Oh, I'll give you a hand. No, that's all right. Thank you. You can do the dishes
02:12I don't like doing the dishes. Can't we get a dishwasher? We've got one you
02:20Oh
02:27Wet meself
02:50I
02:52Don't know who you are, but you've got a wonderful touch
02:55I'm sorry, mr. Neville. I got carried away. Are you on the turn? I
03:00Thought it was mr. Dorothy. It's a good job for you. It wasn't she'd have given you a walk. Oh, well, she would
03:07Don't let your brain make appointments your body can't
03:13Well, it's my dinner break I thought perhaps I might borrow some milk to make the tea you're always on the couch
03:18All right, thanks, oh
03:20Don't suppose you've got any tea bags to spare. Would you like a cup and saucers? Well, no, thanks. No, I've got a battered old mug
03:30Tell you what you can do you can help me wipe up
03:32I'm on my dinner break. It doesn't matter if we both get at it
03:35It won't take a second when we're doing it together. And before you say another word, I mean the dishes
03:40All right
03:45Great you know, you can get paper plates don't have to watch them when they're dirty. Just chuck them out the window
03:50I don't know why somebody doesn't invent edible plates
04:02Like a sort of giant crisp
04:07Bacon cheese and onion it would be nice
04:10Other flavors, so we can have sweet ones like that sweet one. Yes, you can put them on the pudding plate
04:15Yes, we can make them out of rock
04:24Well, perhaps mr. Dorothy has been saving them up I think we better work a bit quicker
04:27I
04:37Need more for drying. Oh, thanks
04:44You have just discovered the secret of perpetual motion
04:49I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My mind's not on the job. What's the matter?
04:53I don't know what it is, but when I came into work this morning, I felt all empty, you know
04:57Then I was cold and I felt the heat coming up like a sort of hot flush all around the neck
05:04Morning mr. Dorothy, mr. Neville, how does she do it? I don't think she does
05:11Dorothy Sutcliffe like a daffodil II fair as the rose sweet as the lily
05:17You're talking about take no notice of him. He's having one of his hot flushes
05:22Well, is he taking something for it? Yes a pint of milk and half a dozen tea bags
05:27lovely
05:29You finish the dishes well more or less. Oh, well, I'll make a cup of tea. Oh not for me
05:33Thank you very much. I haven't got time. I've got things to do in the factory
05:40Morning staff
05:43Now there's something very important I want to say to you all if it's about that last batch of rock
05:47We're melting it all down again. What's the matter with it? Nothing. Nothing. Well, we only did it as a joke. Didn't we wolf?
05:54knickers
05:56They'll go down very well in Bournemouth
06:01What was it you wanted to say to us well, I think it's high time
06:03I had a more personal relationship with you. Oh, you get more like your dad every day
06:10What I mean is if you've got any little problems
06:12I want you to bring them to me and I'll try and help you out
06:15Can I have a shelter next week? I don't mean that Percy in the office. I shall be there for the next half hour
06:20Come along. Don't be shy
06:22You know what they say a trouble halved is a trouble shared a friend in need is a friend indeed and a bird in the
06:28hand
06:40Oh
06:41Hello. Hello. It's Marilyn in. Yeah. Hang on. Marilyn
06:45I'm a friend of hers. Oh, yeah
06:48Hello Sandra, I'm in trouble not again
06:53I thought you weren't having any more. Oh, not that I've got an interview for a job
06:59Well, that is if you can look after my little Terry for me just for a few hours. Oh
07:04What a lovely little baby
07:07Oh
07:12Can I leave him with you? Of course you can Marilyn. Thanks. I'll pick him up about five. All right, my love
07:19You can't have that baby. Yeah, why not? It's against the Factories Act. It's written up on the wall. You can't read. It's too young
07:27You know what a stickler. Mr. Neville is for the rules. You never won't find out I put them in the stock room
07:32It'll be all right in there. You'll be all right in there. Won't you my love?
07:40Oh, he's only playing it was lovely then would you like me to tickle your tummy tummy?
07:48What's going on here nothing who are you talking to nobody?
07:56Happy event
07:58I'm sorry. Well, you see Sandra. She's my best friend
08:01Well, she had to go out and there's nobody to leave him with so I thought I'd put him in the stock room
08:06It's only for the afternoon and he's not doing any harm
08:09Should I look for another job?
08:11Marilyn don't you realize you're contravening section three paragraph two of the Factories Act. I told you this is a very serious matter
08:18I'm one which I as senior sugar boiler in this establishment can't possibly overlook. I will not have a baby on the shop floor
08:28It's a pity nice little fella indeed now go on let him stay
08:33All right, I suppose so
08:41Right that does it what you're gonna do then bite him back
08:51Well, how's it all going? Oh marvelous. Nobody's been in to see me yet. I'm expecting Cleo in a few minutes
08:59Yes, hello. Oh, yeah, just a moment blackpool Bobby
09:06How are you oh
09:09He's got it again
09:11Hmm. Oh that sounds painful
09:15They've both swollen up
09:23He's got to keep them above his head
09:29Never mind, I'll tell you what to do. Just try soaking him in a bucket of cold water
09:34I'll phone you tomorrow
09:37Got trouble with his ankles. Oh
09:40Seems to have trouble with everything. He's always been a delicate flower. Oh, that'll be Cleo now. Well, I'll leave you to it
09:51Now hey, what's your little problem? Oh, do you want me to lie down on the couch?
09:55You know
09:59Can I really tell you everything well, of course you can well it's like this I met this boy on holiday
10:07Oh a holiday romance. Well Carlos, that's his name keeps right into me
10:14Yeah
10:15Spanish anyway, the thing is Arthur found his letters. Oh dear. I can't stand a jealous man
10:25Carlos no
10:26Arthur no, Pete. You see he walks with offer
10:31I'm a bit confused. Oh, he's Pete jealous of Carlos or Arthur
10:37Walter
10:38I've heard of safety in numbers, but this is ridiculous
10:43They're all after me body all they ever think about is sex well, you must try and discourage them dear
10:50Oh, no, I like it
10:56I
10:58Made it first made it for little Terry. It's banana flavored. Yeah, very nice David not now because Marilyn's giving him his bottle
11:07Little Terry is gone. He's gone. I looked in the stock room and he's not there. Don't worry
11:13He's probably gone for a walk at four months old
11:16Anyway, he's Cara cops not there
11:19Somebody's taken him
11:25Carry cot congratulations. I didn't know you were expecting. It's not just a carry
11:46Room I don't know, but I know what he's doing now
11:55I
12:25Think it's about time that baby was fed. I'm just going to do it now
12:34We got a funnel
12:36You need a bottle
12:40Wait a minute, I know the very thing. Yeah. Hang on to that
12:45Oh
12:54That's very hygienic, it's all right. I've sterilized everything even the milk sterilized
13:11That's it don't take it all up
13:14Oh you greedy whole thing
13:25Granted
13:30Isn't it look at that
13:41Blue booty
13:45Oh, isn't it lovely having a baby in the house makes me feel all maternal me too
13:54So we keep it oh, no, we can't do that. I mean, it's not a stray it belongs to somebody
14:00He's got a mummy and daddy somewhere
14:06Well, he must be one of the staff yeah, but which one well you'll have to go and ask them
14:10I couldn't do that a bit too embarrassing
14:13None of them are married. Well, it's obviously not Cleo's. No, it's not got blue eyes
14:22Kojak you're a big old party. I want to show you something
14:35No, no, no, I think it's a bit too young for dolls it's not for him it's for me
14:40You to practice with practice what well putting a nappy on it and giving it a bath
14:45It's a pity really. I could only get a girl doll
14:48How do you know it's a girl? It doesn't got a wedgie
14:56I don't think they make dolls with
14:59widges
15:01To they make them that cry and wet the cells and say mummy and daddy they ought to make them with which is it be more
15:06realistic
15:08Well, if you're gonna play with a dog, I'll take the real little baby into the living room
15:25Yeah, you go back in the cupboard
15:39Don't know what to call him, but he wears his sister's
15:47You're not doing the washing up again, I know I'm preparing a bath you'll never get in there
15:53You have to watch yourself bit by bit, you know, it's not for me for you to see
15:59Yes, I'm going to bath him and then put a nappy on
16:02I
16:04Don't want to worry you but it's a doll. I know it's a doll. This is to practice for the real thing
16:10Dorothy's got a real baby in the other room. Miss Dorothy was in the stockroom. Oh, so you found out then
16:20While you're here you can help me test the water
16:22Test it not taste it. It's very nice do it with your elbow
16:34It's wet you're supposed to roll your sleeve
16:47For breathing purposes are you supposed to have the head of bum water?
16:52We are
17:07First first time I've seen smoke come off a doll
17:12We better get some talcum powder, have you got any? No, we haven't got any talcum powder
17:16Have you got any flour? Yes. Oh
17:18Oh plane or self-raising self-raising he's too young to feel the benefit
17:35They're talking his eye leg off
17:40Just like being back in the chip shop now we turn him over
17:49The first time he's seen snow don't get any water on him, he'll turn into a Yorkshire pudding
17:59No, we've no nappy well, have you got well some a tea cloth or something he's coming it always tea cloth here
18:07Wait a minute, it's a map of England. Well, that's all right. It's time. It was wet and windy around the Trossachs
18:12Oh
18:16No, it's not under the under wait a minute, I'll try and remember I'll cast my mind back if I get on the table
18:23I'll give you a damage. No
18:25Wait, I can remember now when I was a little baby. I can smell the bright water
18:31Can you have you got a safety pin? Yes, right now. There should be a bit hanging down
18:42I
18:52Should be all right
18:55Which bit do you want? Well, I'll have that he doesn't eat
18:58Always no good. Well, I shall never be a mother. Well, you can keep trying. Mr. Neville
19:03Excuse me. I'll just go back and tell Marilyn
19:12Oh
19:19Nothing to it, how's our little stranger? Oh sleeping like a baby
19:23Well, I'll just go to the factory and find out who little blue eyes belongs to
19:27Oh
19:40Hello Eddie
19:42Darling, not now Eddie. Yeah, look about tonight. Yes, whatever you say. I haven't said anything yet
19:47Do me a favor wait in here. I'd be back in a minute only we got a bit of a crisis on
19:52I gotta go and see mr. Neville
19:55All right
20:02I'm sorry, mr. Neville. It's all my fault about the baby and everything. I promise it won't happen again sit down Marilyn
20:11Marilyn don't you think it's about time you thought about getting married? Oh
20:17Mr. Neville, no, no, no, I don't mean me but you've got your future to consider. Well, he was thinking about getting engaged at Easter
20:25I suppose but you really ought to think about getting married. We can't afford it. Mr. Neville. Eddie's out of a job at the moment
20:31Well, perhaps I could get him a job here. Do you think you could I could try he's ever so experienced at doing things
20:40I'm sure
20:42What does he think about the baby? Oh, he doesn't know anything about it
20:48Haven't told him yet. He'll only be mad at me somebody ought to tell him
20:55Would you tell him? Oh, well, I don't I don't know
21:03Can you come in here mr. Neville wants to talk to you
21:13Right, would you like a cigar? Oh great
21:18Oh
21:23What I've got to say to you is a matter of great delicacy, oh, yeah, I mean we're both men of the world aren't we?
21:30Yeah
21:31And it's a lucky man that finds the right woman. Yeah, especially if he and she can sort of
21:39kind of
21:43Consummate their union. What are you talking about? I'm speaking to you
21:47Oh
21:49Congratulations
21:52Not me Eddie you me I think if you have a word with Marilyn, she's got a little surprise for you
21:58What sort of a surprise a bundle of joy?
22:01Nipa me me and Marilyn a baby. Excuse me
22:05Oh
22:15Take that for you. It's too heavy for you to carry. Look come and sit down
22:17No, I gotta go back to work. You need all the rest. You can get my look put your feet up
22:21I don't want to put my feet up you do as you're told. Are you all right? Yeah. Oh Marilyn. Yeah. I love you
22:31Yeah
22:36Look what do you think of Gary Gary who for a name?
22:39Oh, sorry for a boy. I think it's a bit kinky for a girl girl. I never thought of a girl
22:45Are you sure you're all right? I've never felt better. Look. Have you seen a doctor? No, but I think you ought to
22:53It's all yours Eddie. Oh look Marilyn is Boris a present. Oh, thanks, mr
22:58Neville, you know this carry call coming useful when the baby arrives. Don't you take no notice of a mr. Neville?
23:02I think it's gone round the band. It's probably the shock
23:05It's more than a carry car. There's something inside it
23:09Blimey a baby
23:11Yours. Well, I never did. Well somebody must
23:20Thank you very much indeed, bye-bye
23:23Well, who was that Bobby the Blackpool Raver? No bomb
23:27With all the confusion yesterday with the baby that rock that had gotten knickers all the way through it wasn't melted down
23:33It was sent out last night. Oh, dear. Well, they're very upset
23:37Highly delighted. They've sold out. They want another batch straight away. We've invented a new thing rude rock
23:45Come on everybody. Let's get cracking. Well, how's your rock cock?
23:51Now that is rude
23:57I
24:28I
24:40Decided I like the pattern of little feet about the place. So I'm gonna buy a cock a spaniel
24:45Thanks so much for watching. I will see you next week. Good night. God bless
24:57You