The.Gentlemen.2024..
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:00I need to finish the cordon by 1400, but otherwise great work.
00:00:23Okay, boss.
00:00:24No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, listen, listen to me.
00:00:28Tell them I don't care whose goats they are.
00:00:30Just get them off the road.
00:00:32Relax, laddies, hold on, hold on.
00:00:34We don't want to cause an international incident here.
00:00:36Right, gentleman with the moustache, head in that direction, please.
00:00:39Gentleman with the eye patch, head in the opposite direction.
00:00:41If we can't sort this out amicably, we'll let the goats decide.
00:00:44Don't cut this up.
00:00:45Yes, sir.
00:00:47Bobby!
00:00:49You all right?
00:00:50This man's papers are out of date, sir.
00:00:52Hello.
00:00:56Yeah, it's only three days.
00:00:58It is what it is, sir.
00:00:59Tell them they can come through this time, but this time only.
00:01:02We can sort it out for the return, all right?
00:01:03Yes, sir.
00:01:06Vinnie?
00:01:07Boss?
00:01:08Everything all right?
00:01:09All good.
00:01:10I'm on it.
00:01:11No, no, no, no.
00:01:12I'll sort this, you stay here.
00:01:13Sir.
00:01:20Salam.
00:01:21Merhaba.
00:01:24Hello, sir.
00:01:28Good afternoon, sir.
00:01:31Oh, my dear.
00:01:34I assume this isn't good news.
00:01:36It was a nasty fall.
00:01:39Well, you could have just called me.
00:01:41You did, sir, many times.
00:01:44Ultimately, your brother decided, as the eldest son,
00:01:48that it was necessary to dispatch me
00:01:51so that I could impress upon you the severity of the situation.
00:01:59Is my father going to die?
00:02:00I mean...
00:02:03His Grace's condition is serious.
00:02:07My instruction is to take you to the airport straight away.
00:02:11It's all been cleared with your superiors.
00:02:18Right.
00:02:21Let's go.
00:02:23Sergeant!
00:02:28Anything we can do to help, sir?
00:02:31You're in charge now, Charlie.
00:02:35Until I get back.
00:03:05What for whom, sir?
00:03:24Did you miss me, Mr. Lawrence?
00:03:25Terribly.
00:03:39Hello, Freddie.
00:03:40Eddie.
00:03:41Edwina, Eduardo, you made it.
00:03:43Come to me.
00:03:44Well done, darling boy.
00:03:45Well done.
00:03:46Let's hug it out.
00:03:47Bring it in, hug it out.
00:03:48There we go.
00:03:49Good to see you.
00:03:54How is he?
00:03:56Shit, mate.
00:03:57Yeah.
00:03:58Yeah, I mean, his goose is well and truly cooked.
00:04:02Doc says it'll be tonight.
00:04:03Tomorrow morning, latest.
00:04:05What about you?
00:04:06How you doing?
00:04:08To be honest, I've got absolutely no idea, mate.
00:04:10I mean, I'm really just, you know...
00:04:14How's Mum?
00:04:15Yeah, well, she's the one we need to keep an eye on.
00:04:18Pretty sure she's been dipping her beak in Dad's meds.
00:04:20She's got eyes like fucking...
00:04:23All right.
00:04:24Let's keep it together.
00:04:25Come on.
00:04:26Okay.
00:04:27Well, of course, by that time, he was three sheets of wind,
00:04:29stark bollock naked.
00:04:31He'd just forgotten he was in the opera chamber.
00:04:33Oh.
00:04:34I'm going to turn it off.
00:04:36Are you okay?
00:04:37Yeah.
00:04:39How is he?
00:04:40Has he listened?
00:04:41Sometimes, isn't it?
00:04:43In and out.
00:04:45When he's there, he's definitely there.
00:04:49Hi, Mum.
00:04:50Darling, thank goodness.
00:04:52He'll be glad you came, even if he doesn't show it.
00:04:58Shall we go out?
00:04:59Mm.
00:05:00Come on, darling.
00:05:03The first Duke of Halstead was tough as iron.
00:05:07Built this place himself.
00:05:09Every stone of it, single-handed.
00:05:12Dan.
00:05:13Pinched the stone from the old monastery.
00:05:15It's me, Edward.
00:05:17Why do you turn your back on us, my boy?
00:05:19You think it's brave?
00:05:22You're swarming off, playing tuft-off with your friends.
00:05:25It's not.
00:05:27The estate is not to be carved up.
00:05:29Is that clear?
00:05:31You don't have to worry about that, all right?
00:05:33Just get some rest.
00:05:35And look after your brother.
00:05:37He won't survive without you.
00:05:40You understand?
00:05:42I understand, Dan.
00:05:45I understand, Dan.
00:05:48The third Duke, mean old bastard.
00:05:52Killed 15 Frenchmen before lunch.
00:05:56He's getting himself ready to fight a duel.
00:06:00He's shot his own foot off.
00:06:02Ha!
00:06:07Silly cunt.
00:06:09Wait.
00:06:11Doctor.
00:06:12Doctor.
00:06:32Eddie.
00:06:38Eddie.
00:07:08Eddie.
00:07:32This estate has been in the family for over 600 years,
00:07:36and Freddie's gonna a lot by Christmas.
00:07:41We should do something about it, Edward.
00:07:44If I'd left it to you,
00:07:46you'd spend it all rewilding bears in Berkshire.
00:07:49What's wrong with bears? I like bears.
00:07:51They leave no carbon footprint.
00:07:53And they were here before us.
00:07:54Yes, and they'll fucking eat you.
00:07:56Anyway, it's irrelevant.
00:07:59The entire estate gets handed down to the firstborn son.
00:08:02Freddie's the heir, and I'm his pair.
00:08:05Maybe we should topple him together.
00:08:08That is an idea.
00:08:10I'm so sorry I'm late.
00:08:13Here he is.
00:08:14Your Grace, these narrow country lanes.
00:08:17Thank you.
00:08:18You guys.
00:08:19Yeah, good hanging bear.
00:08:21We'll be a moment.
00:08:22Sweetheart.
00:08:23Stuck behind a tractor half the way as well.
00:08:26Smashing, smashing roosies.
00:08:28Right.
00:08:29Is everyone ready?
00:08:31Let's get it over with.
00:08:32Let's get it over with.
00:08:36Then I'll begin.
00:08:38I, Archibald Horatio Landrover Hornman,
00:08:42the 12th Duke of Halstead,
00:08:44being of sound mind,
00:08:46do make, publish and declare this
00:08:48to be my last will and testament.
00:08:51To Geoffrey Seacombe,
00:08:53an acknowledgement of his years of faithful service,
00:08:56I leave a lifetime tenancy on the gatekeeper's cottage.
00:09:01To my wife, Sabrina,
00:09:03for her loyalty and faithfulness
00:09:05throughout our many happy years together,
00:09:08I leave an annual allowance
00:09:10that the new Duke shall bestow at his discretion.
00:09:14And my beloved Labrador, Luna.
00:09:19To my daughter, Charlotte,
00:09:21I leave the endurance,
00:09:23with the condition that she sail around the world on her
00:09:27in the next six months.
00:09:30Don't chuckle.
00:09:31As well, the trust fund of a thousand pounds a week
00:09:35until she marries.
00:09:37A man.
00:09:38Wow.
00:09:40In terms of the rest of my estate,
00:09:43including my title,
00:09:45the house and grounds,
00:09:47the extensive wine cellar,
00:09:49the art collection,
00:09:50the yoghurt farm and dairy,
00:09:52the village of Hetheringham,
00:09:54as well as the property in the south of France,
00:09:57I hereby leave to my son.
00:10:00Um...
00:10:01Edward Horniman.
00:10:03I think, um...
00:10:05I was kind of thinking of everybody...
00:10:14Sorry, again for me, old chap.
00:10:17I leave to my son,
00:10:20Edward Horniman.
00:10:22I'm so sorry.
00:10:23I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
00:10:25I think there must be some sort of...
00:10:27He's Edward, I'm Freddie.
00:10:29And sometimes they call me Fredwood,
00:10:31and so it gets a little bit mixed up.
00:10:33I think there's some sort of mistake, unfortunately.
00:10:36I don't think so.
00:10:38I get it. You're kidding. You're kidding around.
00:10:41Was this... This is...
00:10:42Did you... Did you arrange...
00:10:44This is a joke, right?
00:10:45This is a sick joke.
00:10:48I'm the eldest fucking son!
00:10:50It was all supposed to go to me!
00:10:52What the fuck is this?!
00:10:54Freddie.
00:10:55No, no, no, don't touch me!
00:10:56Freddie, relax.
00:10:57Sorry, there's got to be some sort of mistake.
00:11:02I'm the firstborn son, yeah?
00:11:04That means technically the title goes to me.
00:11:07Now, that's not just me saying it because it's what I want.
00:11:09It's the fucking law.
00:11:11It goes back to the Bible.
00:11:12Old Testament, Cain and Abel.
00:11:14It's the will of God.
00:11:15The firstborn son gets everything.
00:11:18It's fucking... It's... It's... It's...
00:11:20It's primogenital is what it is.
00:11:23Primogeniture, Freddie.
00:11:24That's what I said. You know that's what I said.
00:11:26You've heard of that, haven't you?
00:11:27Of course.
00:11:29But the will is clear.
00:11:31The estate goes to Edward
00:11:33and the title contains a special remainder
00:11:37that allows it to pass to the second son.
00:11:40Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:11:41I don't give a good God shit
00:11:44what the terms of the will clearly state.
00:11:46Here, look.
00:11:48The right of succession
00:11:50to the firstborn
00:11:52legitimate male child...
00:11:54Do you actually print that out, Freddie?
00:11:56No, I don't want to hear from you either, Lady Macbeth.
00:11:58Absolutely not, no.
00:12:00To inherit the parents' entire estate,
00:12:03the house, the title,
00:12:05fucking everything,
00:12:07it all goes to me.
00:12:12Why are you shaking your head?
00:12:13Don't you... What are you, a cocktail?
00:12:14Don't you shake your head at me.
00:12:16Meeting adjourned.
00:12:17Freddie, Freddie.
00:12:18Your Honour, everybody, let's...
00:12:20We'll pack it up. We'll pick it up later on.
00:12:22It's over.
00:12:23Welcome home, thank you very much,
00:12:25Mr fucking Smithers.
00:12:27Mr Burns. No, it's not happening.
00:12:32I'm so sorry.
00:12:34I think we'll reconvene next week
00:12:36when Freddie's calmed down
00:12:37and we'll talk over details.
00:12:39Great, he's coming back. Perfect.
00:12:40Absolutely not.
00:12:41No, no, no, no, no.
00:12:44I am not fucking having it.
00:12:46Take it up with God.
00:12:47Take it up with the Prime Minister.
00:12:49Take it up with the House of fucking Commons
00:12:52and take it up the arse for all I care.
00:12:54I want what is rightfully mine
00:12:57by divine motherfucking provenance, yeah?
00:13:08I've been stabbed in the heart.
00:13:11I've been London bridged.
00:13:14I have been fucked in the face.
00:13:18Dogged on the floor.
00:13:20Too brute.
00:13:22How did you do it, Judas?
00:13:24All of you, a conspiracy of snakes.
00:13:50His grace comes to gloat.
00:13:53I had no idea.
00:13:55I'm just as surprised as you are.
00:13:57It's not the same sort of surprise, though, is it?
00:14:00For the first time in 600 years
00:14:05this family has broken with tradition.
00:14:07You fucking leapfrogs over your older brother.
00:14:10It's not very fraternal, is it, Edward?
00:14:12Thank you, Wagtail. I'll deal with this.
00:14:14I'll be up shortly.
00:14:21How do you think that makes me look, Eddie?
00:14:25How do you think it makes me feel?
00:14:27How do you think it helps me pay my fucking debts?
00:14:32Debts, Freddie?
00:14:34Mm-hm.
00:14:36What kind of debts?
00:14:37Big fucking debts.
00:14:39Well, that sounds ominous.
00:14:41Yeah, you think?
00:14:43Story, Freddie?
00:14:47Do you remember Pete Forbes Spencer?
00:14:49He's in my house at Eton.
00:14:50Big hair, tiny cock, sweaty hands.
00:14:52They called him Sticky Pete.
00:14:55I remember Pete, but I don't remember his cock.
00:14:58He started making a fortune in property.
00:15:00People were queuing in droves to get in.
00:15:02I gave him one million, got 1.5 back.
00:15:04Three months later, it was un-fucking-believable.
00:15:06Next project, skyscraper in the Maldives.
00:15:08First one, first time, first come, first serve.
00:15:10One, two, three, four million. Bosh!
00:15:13And?
00:15:15Well, then...
00:15:16And then what, Freddie?
00:15:18Then the tits went up.
00:15:21The hurricane hit, the plane crashed,
00:15:23the lightning struck, the torpedo went chitty, chitty, bang, bang.
00:15:26What do you want me to say, Eddie?
00:15:28It wasn't my fault. God fucked me!
00:15:31Where did you get four million pounds from, Fred?
00:15:37Well, that came from Tommy Dixon.
00:15:39Right.
00:15:41And who's Tommy Dixon?
00:15:43The chap I met in rehab.
00:15:45Liverpudlian chop dealer.
00:15:47Said he wanted to front me the money.
00:15:49Said he wanted into the Maldives.
00:15:51So, for clarity, you owe a Scouse cocaine dealer four million pounds?
00:15:58No.
00:16:00I owe a Scouse crime family...
00:16:04We're coming for you, Freddie.
00:16:06..eight million pounds.
00:16:08Hold on, Freddie.
00:16:10Four to eight. Throw me an anchor.
00:16:13I don't know, Eddie.
00:16:14Criminal compound interests, whatever, OK?
00:16:17They're gangsters. They fucking make it up as they go along.
00:16:20All right, mate?
00:16:2225% every week until the debt's paid.
00:16:26And by the way, they're not afraid of getting nasty
00:16:28when you don't pay up on time.
00:16:30Now they're saying if I don't come up with the money by the end of the week,
00:16:33they're going to chop my fucking dick off, which is fatal.
00:16:36By the way, I looked it up.
00:16:37I can't give you eight million pounds, Freddie.
00:16:40You stole my title, you stole my money,
00:16:43and now you stole the only way I had of getting out of this hole
00:16:46that God fucking dug for me.
00:16:48Lest we forget, sir, you owe me your life.
00:16:54When you were three years old, I pulled you out of the duck pond, remember?
00:16:57No, I don't remember that,
00:16:59but I do remember you telling me about it incessantly.
00:17:01The point is, I saved your life,
00:17:03and now I'm the one lying face down in the water
00:17:05and you have got to pull me out.
00:17:07Freddie, I didn't ask for any of this.
00:17:11The title has no practical value.
00:17:15The business is broken.
00:17:17There are holes in the roof,
00:17:19the government is greedy,
00:17:21the payroll is ugly,
00:17:22the staff are revolting,
00:17:23and you are a coke-sniffing cunt.
00:17:28However, because you've been passed up
00:17:31and you've been caught with your pants down,
00:17:35I'll look into it for you.
00:17:41Daddy, what have you been up to?
00:18:12Edward Horniman, sir. I'm Ed Israel. Thank you.
00:18:17How may I help you, Your Grace?
00:18:19I need to get my hands on a large amount of cash by the end of the week.
00:18:22How much exactly?
00:18:24Eight million pounds.
00:18:26Goodness.
00:18:31Jesus Christ.
00:18:33Six million, Sterling.
00:18:35Your inheritance has made you a very wealthy man,
00:18:37but that doesn't mean to say that you're rich.
00:18:40You're asset-rich, cash-poor.
00:18:42Tell me,
00:18:44how come there are no significant transactions
00:18:46in any of my father's bank accounts in the last five years?
00:18:49Your father's personal expenditure was something we never discussed.
00:18:52Right.
00:18:54What about bonds? Stocks and shares?
00:18:56There aren't any.
00:18:58There might have been matters we didn't address,
00:19:02but, of course, I couldn't comment.
00:19:07Well, that's rather cryptic, I mean.
00:19:13You could sell the Gainsborough,
00:19:15but to attain the ultimate value,
00:19:18it will take a number of months.
00:19:21There has been a slightly unconventional approach
00:19:24from a lawyer based in London.
00:19:27His client has expressed an interest in purchasing Halstead Manor.
00:19:31When someone dies, the vultures start circling.
00:19:35It's rather cheeky, isn't it?
00:19:37Hmm.
00:19:38What's his name?
00:19:39The potential purchaser wishes to remain anonymous at this stage,
00:19:43but his lawyer has stated that he'd be willing to pay
00:19:46well above the market value.
00:19:49That could be a significant sum,
00:19:52but there's probate and capital gains to take into account.
00:19:59Tell them I'd be willing to potentially entertain an offer
00:20:04if he's aggressive and quick.
00:20:06Forgive me for stating the obvious,
00:20:08but I would be in remiss of my duties not to point out
00:20:12that Halstead Manor's been in your family for generations.
00:20:16Since 1550.
00:20:20But, as I said, I need money by the end of the week.
00:20:23Set up a meeting, please.
00:20:25Understood.
00:20:27Sorry to disturb you.
00:20:29Allow me to introduce myself.
00:20:31I'm Susie Glass.
00:20:33How can I help you, Miss Glass?
00:20:35I used to be in business with your father.
00:20:39Well, forgive my confusion,
00:20:41but my father wasn't exactly known for his business acumen.
00:20:46I have certain interests that I need to discuss with you.
00:20:51What kind of interests?
00:20:53Probably easier if I just show you.
00:20:59I liked your father.
00:21:01He was a proper gentleman.
00:21:03A tad eccentric, but you lot are.
00:21:05Must have come as a bit of a shock,
00:21:07inheriting everything, the house, the title.
00:21:09Well, worse things have happened to me.
00:21:11Did he mention the revenue he was making from the farm?
00:21:14No, he didn't.
00:21:16Couldn't have been significant, otherwise I wouldn't have known about it.
00:21:19Depends what you consider to be significant.
00:21:22He was making five million pounds in cash a year,
00:21:25plus profit share.
00:21:27Excuse me?
00:21:29Five million pounds.
00:21:31I'm guessing that wasn't from yoghurts and burgers, Miss Glass.
00:21:34Follow me.
00:21:49Now, what happens down there?
00:21:52Oh.
00:21:57What the fuck is going on?
00:22:03Cannabis market in the UK is worth over six billion a year.
00:22:07Now, we've managed to corner a substantial share of that market,
00:22:10but the challenge is finding the space to grow it.
00:22:13That's why your father came in.
00:22:15In return, for a generous consideration,
00:22:17he let us carry on with the business.
00:22:19For a generous consideration,
00:22:21he let us carry out our activities with the necessary impunity.
00:22:25Turns out, there ain't that many 15,000-acre estates
00:22:27we can do pretty much whatever you want without anyone knowing.
00:22:30What's this one called, Jimmy?
00:22:32Frasian Duck. Very popular right now.
00:22:34This is Jimmy. He's been product supervisor here for...
00:22:37Well, how long's it been now, Jimmy?
00:22:39Three years now, boss.
00:22:41That's how long I've been living under your gaff.
00:22:43I can't believe we finally get to meet.
00:22:45Me and you.
00:22:48Except you, you's like a duke, innit?
00:22:53Nice to finally meet you, Jimmy.
00:22:58Assuming my father was receiving about 10% a year,
00:23:02which would seem fair,
00:23:04this place must be turning over 50 million a year.
00:23:07You're in the right ballpark.
00:23:09And being that you said you have a substantial share of the market,
00:23:13one would assume substantial means half or more,
00:23:16that means this is a very small cog in a much larger machine.
00:23:20You must have dozens of places like this all over the country.
00:23:23You know your father never concerned himself
00:23:25with the workings of the wider operation.
00:23:28Well, I'm very curious.
00:23:31All you need to know is that we have an agreement
00:23:34that means, as the new landlord,
00:23:36you will receive a significant amount of money every year
00:23:39in return for letting us carry out our activities.
00:23:42Well, the trouble is, I might have to put the house on the market.
00:23:46We prefer to keep things as they are.
00:23:48Well, I'm sorry if that puts you in an awkward position, Miss Glass,
00:23:51but it's my house and my hand might be forced.
00:23:55I completely understand your grace.
00:23:58What if I wanted to renegotiate?
00:24:00If you were serious about wanting to sell the property,
00:24:03that would be challenging for us.
00:24:06Well, legally, there's nothing you can do about it.
00:24:08Oh, you're right. There's nothing legal we could do about it.
00:24:12Is that a threat, I sense, in the equation?
00:24:14Absolutely not.
00:24:16Look, it's a lot to take on board. I can understand that.
00:24:19Normally, in these kind of situations,
00:24:21certain discussions have been made beforehand.
00:24:23And normally, the weak-willed, work-shy, public school-educated heir
00:24:27takes the money and rolls over like a good little boy.
00:24:31I wouldn't put it quite like that.
00:24:34But, yeah, see how you feel once it's percolated.
00:24:38Would you like a lift back to the house?
00:24:40No, thanks. I'll walk.
00:24:45Your grace.
00:24:47Oh, hello, Geoff.
00:24:49Just found her wandering around the lake.
00:24:51I was just going to take her up to your ladyships.
00:24:53Actually, Geoff, I wouldn't mind a chat if you have the time.
00:24:57Will I normally have a cup of tea around this time of day?
00:25:01Perfect.
00:25:03How long have you been working here, Geoff?
00:25:05What is it, 20 years?
00:25:07I'm not good with years.
00:25:09But you and your brother were still in shorts.
00:25:13I know you've always been incredibly loyal to my father.
00:25:18He gave me an opportunity when I was in a bit of bother.
00:25:21He didn't have to, but he did, and that's what counts.
00:25:27I also know that nothing happens on this estate without you knowing about it.
00:25:31That'd be fair to say.
00:25:33So I assume you have some understanding of what's going on.
00:25:36It would also be fair to say.
00:25:38Milk, one sugar.
00:25:39Thank you.
00:25:44I see you've been introduced to Miss Grass.
00:25:48Which also makes me think...
00:25:51you also know what's been going on.
00:25:53What's the extent of your involvement?
00:25:56I make it my business not to be my business.
00:26:0015,000 acres is enough to keep me busy.
00:26:03Especially when you're taking every wounded animal you come across.
00:26:06It's like a bloody zoo in here.
00:26:08Yeah, Charlie got hit by a car.
00:26:10Sarah jammed through into a window.
00:26:13My little mate here, she's got a broken leg.
00:26:20Is that a fox, Geoff?
00:26:23Yeah.
00:26:24Only employed to cull the foxes.
00:26:26Is there something specific you wanted to ask me, your Grace?
00:26:29Yes.
00:26:32My father was happy with the status quo, but...
00:26:35I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with it.
00:26:38That could be difficult.
00:26:40These are serious people, by all accounts.
00:26:42So you think I should just keep the money and keep shtum?
00:26:46Work for your father, more or less.
00:26:48But now they've got their roots in.
00:26:50The trouble is I've run into a spot of bother.
00:26:53And for various reasons, I need their help.
00:26:57The help they'll give you.
00:26:59But it'll come at a price.
00:27:02What do you know about them?
00:27:04They're dangerous bastards.
00:27:06At the end of the day, they're businessmen.
00:27:10As long as you're going to make them money,
00:27:12they'll sit down and have a conversation with you.
00:27:14You need to be careful.
00:27:16Although they appear to be house-trained,
00:27:18don't be deceived by the facade.
00:27:20Hi, Ahmed. Edward Horniman.
00:27:23I've decided to take the house off the market.
00:27:27Thank you, Brad. Your Grace?
00:27:37Now, morning training.
00:27:40I've got a few things to do.
00:27:42I've got a few things to do.
00:27:44I've got a few things to do.
00:27:46I've got a few things to do.
00:27:48Now, morning chuckles.
00:27:50Edwina.
00:27:51Would you like some tea?
00:27:53No, I don't have time. I've got a train to catch.
00:27:56Is this your dress for your world tour?
00:27:58Do I look like I'm dressed for a world tour?
00:28:00No.
00:28:01Mummy's persuaded me to go back to uni to finish the year.
00:28:04Sounds surprisingly sensible.
00:28:07Freddie's the one she should be worrying about.
00:28:09Don't you worry about Freddie.
00:28:12I'll look after Freddie.
00:28:15Would you like a hand with your bags?
00:28:18You? The gentleman?
00:28:21Bradley.
00:28:22Of course, Your Grace.
00:28:24Good luck, chuckles.
00:28:25Your Grace.
00:28:27Come on, Bradley. Chop-chop.
00:28:34Oi, Jackie. Come here.
00:28:40It's the Duke.
00:28:43Hi there, Your Grace.
00:28:44I need to raise £8 million very quickly.
00:28:47£8 million? That's a big number.
00:28:49My brother's in debt to a Liverpudlian drug cartel.
00:28:52What did you say the guy's name was?
00:28:54Tommy Dixon.
00:28:55Hello.
00:28:56How much are the eight's interest?
00:28:58Half.
00:29:00That's strong.
00:29:01The interest rate wasn't made clear to my brother on the inception of the loan.
00:29:04And, obviously, my options are severely limited in terms of raising the required funds,
00:29:09given our business agreement.
00:29:11Let me see what I can do.
00:29:13How much do you reckon you'll be able to get your hands on?
00:29:15Not sure. I'm working on it.
00:29:18If you can take care of four, I'll see what I can do with the other four.
00:29:22I'll get back to you.
00:29:34What do you reckon, bruv?
00:29:35I know Tommy Dixon and his brother, the Gospel.
00:29:38A pair of drug-dealing scousers that've got God on their side.
00:29:41Naughty?
00:29:43Naughty, but not double naughty.
00:29:45Look, I reckon you can squeeze him once I know where Dad is.
00:29:49Where can I find him?
00:29:51Fish market. He hides behind a mackerel. That's their front.
00:29:54Come on, Jackie!
00:29:56I'm calling in. Get back to work.
00:29:59Elmo!
00:30:00Incoming, son!
00:30:02Try not to hurt yourself.
00:30:09My name is Stevens.
00:30:11I'm the personal assistant to a private individual
00:30:14who's interested in purchasing Houston Manor.
00:30:17I must say, my client was somewhat disappointed
00:30:20to hear you'd instructed your lawyers to pull out of negotiations
00:30:24before he'd had the chance to count with a more attractive offer.
00:30:29That notwithstanding, my client would like to see
00:30:32if you'd be open to a face-to-face meeting.
00:30:35And who exactly is your client?
00:30:37If you're willing to come with me,
00:30:39I could have you sitting with him by, hmm...
00:30:42elevenses?
00:30:43Thank you, but my situation has changed.
00:30:45I'm no longer selling. Mr. Lawrence?
00:30:48My client understands that this represents
00:30:51a considerable inconvenience to yourself.
00:30:55So, he'd like to make you an offer
00:30:58of 250,000 Great British Pounds
00:31:03for your time.
00:31:06Non-recoupable, of course.
00:31:10Would you care to follow me, Your Grace?
00:31:36KNOCK ON DOOR
00:31:50Handsome-looking turbot.
00:31:52Two and a half kilos. Not bad for a wild fish.
00:31:55How are they, sweethearts?
00:31:57You looking or buying?
00:31:59Neither. I'm here for you.
00:32:01My name's Susie Glass.
00:32:06Elegant and stylish daughter of Bobby Glass?
00:32:09I respect Bobby.
00:32:11Everyone respects Bob.
00:32:13Can we have a little convo about Freddie Horniman?
00:32:1825% a week, son.
00:32:20Until the debt's paid.
00:32:23Let's go upstairs.
00:32:27So, here your dad's caught a nasty cold.
00:32:30How long has he got left?
00:32:32He's four into a ten stretch.
00:32:34Ouch.
00:32:38There are not but good things about your operation.
00:32:42I used to think the puff game was too much hassle.
00:32:45Too bulky, not enough return.
00:32:47But it sounds like you've got it under-managed.
00:32:49We've always stayed clear of the powder.
00:32:51Means we're not in competition with each other.
00:32:53What I can't understand is,
00:32:55what's the connection with you and that posh twat?
00:32:58I have a business interest
00:33:00that could be put in jeopardy by this little debt of his.
00:33:03And I wanted to see if there was a way
00:33:05we might be able to resolve it.
00:33:07Eight million's a lot of money.
00:33:09But 100% of fuck all's fuck all.
00:33:13Look, we both know you're not going to get there for late,
00:33:16so let's be realistic.
00:33:18What happens if I can get you the original four
00:33:21in cash by the end of the week?
00:33:23Can't just write off four million and incest.
00:33:27What about if we treat it
00:33:29as an investment into your operation?
00:33:33No, that's not going to work.
00:33:35I'm not looking for investors.
00:33:37But I am still trying to find a way through this.
00:33:39Somehow.
00:33:43When will they get the four million?
00:33:45You can pick it up on Friday.
00:33:47Sweetened with a bar's worth of White Widow super cheese.
00:33:56All right.
00:33:58On one condition.
00:34:00He's got to apologise.
00:34:03And he's got to admit that he's a cock.
00:34:06Understood.
00:34:07And I want it recorded for posterity.
00:34:11There's a video I would like him to emulate.
00:34:15Right.
00:34:17Well, there's videos and there's videos.
00:34:20It's not nasty.
00:34:22So, I'll get you the four
00:34:25and the super cheese
00:34:27and a video with an apology.
00:34:32Are we good?
00:34:33Why, yeah.
00:34:35You gave me all that.
00:34:36We're golden.
00:34:58Thank you, Jeffrey.
00:35:02Sir, the Duke of Halstead, Edward Horniman.
00:35:05Morning.
00:35:06Pleasure, Your Grace.
00:35:08Stanley Johnston.
00:35:10With a T.
00:35:13You'd probably like to know
00:35:15why I am so interested in buying your family estate.
00:35:20I would rather.
00:35:22Thank you, Stevens.
00:35:24The truth is, it's a paragon
00:35:27of an example of the architectural philosophy of William Kent,
00:35:31who was a jack-of-all-trades.
00:35:33And a master of some.
00:35:35So, you're familiar with his philosophy?
00:35:37Wasn't it something to do with the reconciliation
00:35:40of that feral with the refined?
00:35:42A worthy obsession that we both share.
00:35:45People either survive in the jungle
00:35:49or exist in the zoo.
00:35:51Few recognize the significance
00:35:54of the paradoxical reconciliation of the two.
00:35:58It takes a rare individual
00:36:00who understands how cunning and aggressive one has to be
00:36:04to acquire an estate such as yours.
00:36:07Your house is a testament to the synthesis of this culture.
00:36:11Refinement with aggression.
00:36:15The first duke understood this principle, as do I,
00:36:20which is why I intend to offer you
00:36:22an obscene amount of money for your country estate.
00:36:25Well, that's a compelling sales pitch.
00:36:28But you pull it like that,
00:36:30you're under danger of selling it back to me.
00:36:33Now, should we play or should we talk?
00:36:36Do you drink wine?
00:36:50Value is derived from what someone's willing to pay for something.
00:36:55If I say it's worth that much,
00:36:58it's worth it.
00:37:00At least to me.
00:37:02Well, that's quite a number.
00:37:04And I appreciate the lengths you've gone to present it to me.
00:37:08I've changed my mind, however, the land's not for sale.
00:37:15Thank you.
00:37:20I hope you don't disapprove
00:37:23in the way I prefer my wine presented.
00:37:26In breaking the tradition,
00:37:28I like to decant and clean the liquid,
00:37:32clear the bottle of any sediment,
00:37:35then return the wine so it can be enjoyed in its original housing.
00:37:40Speaking of housing,
00:37:42I'm prepared to go farther north of that number.
00:37:47Why don't you allow me to provide the keys
00:37:50to free yourself from your inherited legacy?
00:37:53It may be surprising to you,
00:37:56but I appreciate the paradoxical blessing and curse
00:38:00of your perceived privilege.
00:38:02Well, I appreciate the appreciation.
00:38:05But timing is everything, and now is not the right time.
00:38:10Stevens, please.
00:38:16Mr. Che.
00:38:18Thank you.
00:38:19My pleasure.
00:38:25Mm, yummy.
00:38:29The Romani Conti, 2002.
00:38:31Are you a fan of DRC?
00:38:33Mm, I'm more of a Bordeaux man myself.
00:38:37But my father, he was all about the Burgundy.
00:38:40He collected the DRC.
00:38:42Have you ever tried an 82?
00:38:45I understand there are only six cases left in the world?
00:38:49Eight, actually.
00:38:51Two belong to the Crown Estate,
00:38:53one belongs to the Archduke of Moldova,
00:38:56and the rest are there in our cellar.
00:38:59Along with two cases of the 45.
00:39:02Ah, the temptation is too much.
00:39:04If you won't allow me to buy the house,
00:39:07please allow me to buy the wine.
00:39:09I promise I will be very generous.
00:39:12What about the wine collection?
00:39:14I could reach three,
00:39:16but again, that will take time.
00:39:19It'd be very hard for me to let that go.
00:39:26Your Grace.
00:39:27Mr. Stevens.
00:39:29Let's go.
00:39:34That's my father's wine collection.
00:39:36In paper, exactly what we need.
00:39:38That, plus the money in the safe,
00:39:42should clear my brother's debt.
00:39:45Seemingly your conversation with Mr. Dixon went well.
00:39:48There's a couple of caveats,
00:39:50but he's agreed to accept the four,
00:39:52as long as it's cash and tomorrow.
00:39:54Eight to four. That's very impressive.
00:39:56Think of it as a gesture of goodwill from me.
00:40:06Everything all right?
00:40:08No, not really.
00:40:10Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
00:40:12Edwina, just hear me out, okay?
00:40:14This guy's a two-time World Heavyweight Champion.
00:40:17How much did he put on, Freddy?
00:40:18What do you mean? How about all of it?
00:40:20It's a dead cell, bros.
00:40:21Winner takes all. I met his trainer and everything.
00:40:23What's the name of the bookie you made the bet with?
00:40:25Tell me now.
00:40:26There's no bookies in this kind of fight.
00:40:28It's very exclusive and off the record.
00:40:30It's VVVIP.
00:40:31Hold on. How did you place a bet if there's no bookie, Freddy?
00:40:34Through a friend of a friend.
00:40:35What do you mean, a friend of a friend? Who?
00:40:37Pete, all right?
00:40:38He's got a mate. He put five mil on the guys, cut me in for a slice.
00:40:41Fucking Christ. Sticky Pete.
00:40:43Haven't you learned your lesson yet?
00:40:44Look, he wants to make amends, Eddie.
00:40:46Listen to me. There's no way this guy's not gonna win.
00:40:48It's Joey Bang Bang.
00:40:50Tell Pete you made a mistake.
00:40:52Tell him you're sorry and get my fucking money back.
00:40:54I gotta go, okay? They're putting phones in Kevlar bags here.
00:40:56They're locking them up. That's how exclusive this place is.
00:40:58Freddy, listen to me.
00:40:59Love you, love you, love you. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
00:41:02Ooh, it's fight night, phone man.
00:41:05I'm feeling good.
00:41:07We're gonna need to find this fight.
00:41:09I know, man.
00:41:22Right, Suze?
00:41:23Jacket boy.
00:41:24Your Highness.
00:41:26Jacket.
00:41:27You got the readies?
00:41:28Yeah, here you go.
00:41:33200, yeah?
00:41:34No, I can't make no promises.
00:41:36I'm gonna have a word with the geezer on the door.
00:41:38See what he can do.
00:41:39Fuck off.
00:41:41Your brother seems functional.
00:41:43He must be useful.
00:41:44He's not always that functional.
00:41:46Right, what's his word?
00:41:47He's a cock.
00:41:49What's he do with him?
00:41:50Usual thing. Just a lot of it.
00:41:52So I managed to snag you a couple of tickets.
00:41:54But listen, you've got to remember,
00:41:56this fight's completely off the books.
00:41:58Results stay in the room,
00:42:00because these are both world champion boxers.
00:42:02So they don't want to lose their ranking.
00:42:04Miss Suze, no grief.
00:42:06It's my name on the line tonight.
00:42:08All right.
00:42:09Enjoy.
00:42:10Come on, let's get the money, mate.
00:42:26It's not often they put on these get-togethers.
00:42:35That table's flown in from Vegas.
00:42:37Gypsy kids, very popular with our friends across the Atlantic.
00:42:40The big ticket's Jerry Bang Bang.
00:42:42Got the Americans.
00:42:46Then you got the Albanians.
00:42:47The Chinese.
00:42:52The Russians, sitting happily next to the Ukrainians.
00:42:56And then, the traveling community.
00:43:05Nothing brings people together like a spot of blood on the canvas.
00:43:10There'll be 50 to 100 million British pounds
00:43:12rattling around in here tonight.
00:43:15Yeah.
00:43:16And a few of those are mine.
00:43:26Psychology, baby!
00:43:28What the fuck did you get him?
00:43:31Money.
00:43:32What money?
00:43:33Freddy's money.
00:43:34Which is my money.
00:43:35No, there's nothing I can do about that now, mate.
00:43:36Fight's started.
00:43:38Eddie, I got this under control, okay?
00:43:40Freddy, I'll deal with you later.
00:43:43You need to go and find whoever laid the bet
00:43:45and get my money back.
00:43:46Will you relax, please?
00:43:47There's no way Bang Bang's gonna lose this fight.
00:43:49He's pulverizing him.
00:43:50Now, you're ruining the experience, Ed.
00:43:51It's fight night, okay?
00:43:52It's fight night!
00:43:53Can we talk about this in a minute?
00:43:54I'm watching this.
00:43:55Listen to me, Peter.
00:43:57Without knowing it,
00:43:58you have stepped into a world
00:44:00that you are not familiar with.
00:44:02That money is expected by someone
00:44:04who will not suffer disappointment.
00:44:06Oh, I'm sorry.
00:44:07That sounds like a threat.
00:44:08It's not my problem.
00:44:09It's yours.
00:44:10What's the matter with your fucking problem?
00:44:11Your brother put that money on Joey Bang Bang.
00:44:13If Joey wins,
00:44:14your brother's about to double his money.
00:44:15But if he loses,
00:44:16that money doesn't belong to him anymore,
00:44:18and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
00:44:20Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:44:24Take it easy.
00:44:25Susie Glass wants to see you.
00:44:29I'm not done with you.
00:44:30Okay, whatever.
00:44:31Why don't you fuck off?
00:44:44Thank you, Roger.
00:44:46How'd that work out for you?
00:44:47Not as well as I would have liked.
00:44:49Well, sit down.
00:44:50Have a drink.
00:44:51Watch the fight.
00:44:53We'll figure something out.
00:45:02You got this, Bang Bang.
00:45:03You got this, baby girl.
00:45:16What?
00:45:17What is it?
00:45:20It's a scam.
00:45:23What do you mean, it's a scam?
00:45:25He never places the bets, mate.
00:45:27He preys on the posh,
00:45:29and he rinses the privilege.
00:45:31And then he protects himself
00:45:32with plastic gangsters
00:45:34that he's immersed himself with.
00:45:36And you lot
00:45:37are too intimidated to complain.
00:45:58Get him!
00:46:04Get him!
00:46:06Get him!
00:46:09Get him!
00:46:11Get him!
00:46:16Get him!
00:46:17Get him!
00:46:20Get him!
00:46:28Get him!
00:46:38You want to place the fucking bet?
00:46:40That's a very serious allegation, Your Grace.
00:46:45The fundamental rules of gambling
00:46:46are very simple.
00:46:47When you lose,
00:46:48you pay up.
00:46:52What do you think, John?
00:46:53I think
00:46:54you should fuck off back to your country house
00:46:56and wank off your spaniel.
00:46:59Get your hands off me.
00:47:00Careful, posh boy.
00:47:02We know where you live.
00:47:04And we do knock on doors.
00:47:05You're embarrassing yourself, Captain.
00:47:07You're not in the army anymore.
00:47:09And you've got nothing to back you up.
00:47:13No!
00:47:14Why is he lying on the ground?
00:47:15Someone get him off of the ground!
00:47:21No, fuck off!
00:47:22No!
00:47:27Any evolution?
00:47:28No.
00:47:31We need to leave.
00:47:32Now.
00:47:34Do you mind if I talk to him?
00:47:37Once things have calmed down.
00:47:41Does the name Stanley Johnston ring a bell?
00:47:45No, why?
00:47:46He's the chap I just sold the wine to.
00:47:48He is very interested in buying the estate.
00:47:52And the kind of money he was offering suggested
00:47:54he might know something about the operation.
00:47:58What did you say his name was?
00:47:59Stanley Johnston.
00:48:01With a T.
00:48:05What did you say to him?
00:48:07I said it wasn't for sale.
00:48:09Well done.
00:48:10That's the correct answer.
00:48:12Take a look at this.
00:48:15What is it?
00:48:16The lyrics.
00:48:17The song Freddie's got to sing when he hands the money over.
00:48:21And he's got to dance.
00:48:22Like a chicken.
00:48:23Like a chicken?
00:48:24Like a chicken.
00:48:26Why does he have to dance like a chicken?
00:48:28Because Tommy Dixon, understandably, needs an apology.
00:48:37Party time.
00:48:43I'm a posh twat who fucked up.
00:48:45E-I-E-I-O.
00:48:46I fucked up because I'm a knob.
00:48:48E-I-E-I-O.
00:48:49I'm a knob.
00:48:50E-I-E-I-O.
00:48:51With a twat twat here and a twat twat there.
00:48:54How old is Tommy Dixon?
00:48:56It's a small price to pay.
00:48:58Do you want us to count it?
00:48:59Guy said it's all there, but I haven't checked.
00:49:01No, I'm good.
00:49:02You sure?
00:49:03Just take a little while, that's all.
00:49:04No, come on. Let's go.
00:49:05All right.
00:49:06I think he wants to say sorry.
00:49:08Oh.
00:49:09Do you want an apology?
00:49:11I don't know.
00:49:12Do I?
00:49:13Yes.
00:49:14You do.
00:49:15We need closure.
00:49:16Blankets!
00:49:19Oh.
00:49:20Oh.
00:49:21Oh.
00:49:24Oh.
00:49:25Oh.
00:49:26Oh.
00:49:27One sticky peek.
00:49:30Oh.
00:49:31Oh.
00:49:32I just wanted to say sorry.
00:49:35From the bottom of my heart.
00:49:38Aw.
00:49:39That's nice, isn't it, Eddie?
00:49:41I gave you back the money and I said I'm sorry.
00:49:44And said it would cool.
00:49:47I don't know.
00:49:49Are we cool, Edward?
00:49:54Yeah.
00:49:56Yeah, we're cool.
00:50:04You said you were going to talk to him.
00:50:07Oh, we did.
00:50:08Don't worry about him. We did him a favour.
00:50:11We disciplined the dog, not the man.
00:50:13And what's that supposed to mean?
00:50:15There's a dog and a man that the man can't control.
00:50:18So we had to control it for him.
00:50:20Do you know what the fundamental challenge with the human condition is?
00:50:23No.
00:50:25What filling in the blanks?
00:50:26Is it too much dog and not enough man?
00:50:29Too much untrained dog.
00:50:32And we are in the dog training business.
00:50:37Pull!
00:50:41Oh, for fuck's sake!
00:50:43I've missed ten on the bounce, Geoff.
00:50:45There's a problem with the weight and they're flying too fast.
00:50:47This time, we don't shoot at the target.
00:50:51We shoot four feet in front of it.
00:50:54That's exactly what I'm doing, Geoffrey.
00:50:56Well, this time, we try and miss it in front.
00:51:07Pull!
00:51:09Argh!
00:51:10Lost it!
00:51:13That's a born killer, your grace.
00:51:15Well done, Fredwood.
00:51:17And Wiener.
00:51:18Yes, please, Mr. Lawrence.
00:51:21Wormtail.
00:51:22Wiener.
00:51:23How'd you get on with Pete?
00:51:24I got the money back.
00:51:25What? How come?
00:51:27He never placed a bet, Freddy.
00:51:29What do you mean, he never placed a bet?
00:51:31I mean, he never placed a bet.
00:51:33Oh, I fucking...
00:51:35But Mr. Dixon has agreed to take the four,
00:51:37which means we're good for tomorrow.
00:51:39Well, fuck a duck. Well played. How'd you manage that?
00:51:42Four million off the eight.
00:51:43Four million off the eight? I mean, Christ.
00:51:45Suck his cock for four big ones.
00:51:47Well, that's good to know, Freddy.
00:51:50There is, however, one...
00:51:53minor caveat.
00:51:54What do you mean, minor caveat?
00:51:56Break the gun, please, Freddy.
00:52:00He wants you to say you're a cock.
00:52:03He wants me to...
00:52:07Fine. I'm a cock. There.
00:52:09Fucking easy-peasy. No problem.
00:52:11Good.
00:52:12I mean, everyone thinks I'm a cock anyway, right?
00:52:14He does. Pete does.
00:52:15Dad definitely fucking did it.
00:52:16He wouldn't have cut me out of his will and left me with nothing.
00:52:18What about you, Eddie? Do you think I'm a cock?
00:52:20Well, you have been a bit of a cock, Freddy.
00:52:22Right. Okay.
00:52:23Doesn't mean you always are.
00:52:25Well, that's just fucking...
00:52:26How about you, Jeff? Do you think I'm a cock?
00:52:29Cheers, Jeff.
00:52:30Whamtam? What about you? Am I a cock?
00:52:33All men are cocks, Freddy.
00:52:34Fine. Whatever. Anything else?
00:52:36Yes.
00:52:37He wants you to do a dance and sing the apology.
00:52:40It's right here.
00:52:47Well, he's dressed like a chicken.
00:52:49Yes. There is that, too.
00:52:55Fine. I'm a chicken.
00:52:58Cluck-cluck. Flap-flap. I'm so sorry.
00:53:00There. What else?
00:53:02He wants to film the performance.
00:53:11Yep.
00:53:13I'm not doing it. I'm not fucking doing it.
00:53:15Hold on. Two minutes ago, you were willing to suck his cock.
00:53:18Yeah. In private, Eddie.
00:53:20He's going to film it, Freddy.
00:53:22He's not fucking filming it, Eddie!
00:53:24Yes, he is.
00:53:27You asked for my help, and I'm helping you.
00:53:30Not because you fished me out of a pond when I was three,
00:53:33but because you are my brother, and that's what brothers do for each other.
00:53:37As a result, you have to do everything that I tell you from now on.
00:53:46And if that means dancing like a chicken, you dance like a chicken.
00:53:50You don't dance like a stripper or a bear or a balafucking reiner.
00:53:56You dance like a chicken.
00:53:59Is that clear?
00:54:02You've taken everything else from me.
00:54:05You've taken everything else from me.
00:54:07Why not take what's left of my dignity?
00:54:09Is that clear, Freddy?
00:54:14Yes, Your Grace.
00:54:35Quite the gaff.
00:54:37Thomas, I did say the back door.
00:54:40Tradesman's entrance. You are a tradesman, after all.
00:54:44The trade was, I'm dropping from eight to four.
00:54:47So I think that means I can walk in the front door.
00:54:50Come on, then.
00:54:59Hey, Sophie.
00:55:02Hey, soft lad. Don't forget the suit.
00:55:21Good afternoon, Mr. Dixon.
00:55:23All right.
00:55:24Thanks for making the trip. We appreciate it. You're a very busy man.
00:55:27Well, it was a very pretty drive. Beautiful countryside.
00:55:34Is that for me, is it?
00:55:35As promised. Would you like to count it?
00:55:37No, I'll let Jethro do that.
00:55:40Hey, Jezza, you're up, mate.
00:55:42Hey, soft lad.
00:55:45Is it all right if he sets up on that desk there?
00:55:47Yeah, of course. Take a seat.
00:55:50He's got OCD, our Jethro.
00:55:52Takes him a while to get going, but once he does, there's no stopping him.
00:55:56Right.
00:55:58Shall we get started, then?
00:56:00Yeah, listen, Tommy, about the whole chicken thing.
00:56:03Look, I'm happy to put on the suit.
00:56:06I'm happy to do the dance, obviously,
00:56:08just to show you how genuinely apologetic I am about this whole thing.
00:56:12But you've got your money, you'll have had your fun,
00:56:15and I'll have eaten humble pie.
00:56:17The whole pie.
00:56:20You don't have to film it, do you?
00:56:22That's why I agreed to take the four instead of the eight.
00:56:25You're thinking about this all wrong.
00:56:27Your participation in this movie is going to earn you four million quid.
00:56:31That's a million quid a minute.
00:56:33You'll be about the best-paid actor in the world.
00:56:36You'll be celebrating, not negotiating.
00:56:38Listen, Maze, that shit could follow me around forever.
00:56:43Get your hand off me.
00:56:46I'm not your mate.
00:56:49Don't confuse our roles here.
00:56:51Don't confuse our roles here.
00:56:54Today, you work for me.
00:56:57I direct and you perform.
00:57:02And I want to get value for fucking money.
00:57:05Come on, Freddy, it's just a song. Let's get it done.
00:57:13Suit, show, go.
00:57:22I need a minute to...
00:57:26get prepared.
00:57:37I want the wolf in the hen house.
00:57:41Chicken man, chicken man, chicken man.
00:57:44You're a scouser, Maze.
00:57:52Right, let's fucking do this thing.
00:57:55Where do you want me?
00:57:56How are you going to get your camera out?
00:57:58That's not how this works.
00:58:00You're going to dance,
00:58:02and then I will judge whether I deem your performance film-worthy.
00:58:10Do you know why you're dressed as a chicken?
00:58:12Oh, I don't know, to humiliate me in front of the whole fucking world?
00:58:16There's a reason I didn't ask you to get dressed as an eagle.
00:58:19Eagles don't dance.
00:58:21They soar through the air.
00:58:24But a chicken's the bottom of the food chain.
00:58:31You're a chicken, aren't you, Freddy?
00:58:35You had to get bailed out of a debt you couldn't repay.
00:58:41But you can repent.
00:58:43My brother's a big fan of repentance.
00:58:46The proportion of this debt is his.
00:58:50He sees this dance as a parable.
00:58:53Therefore, you don't just pretend to be a chicken.
00:58:58You've got to actually be a chicken.
00:59:03Do you understand?
00:59:06The remedy is in the poison.
00:59:09Come on.
00:59:10Let's see you chicken.
00:59:12All right.
00:59:14Let's see you. Come on.
00:59:16All right!
00:59:28No.
00:59:29What the fuck is that?
00:59:33What the fuck kind of shit chicken is that?
00:59:36Come on! Let's go! Let's fucking chicken!
00:59:39What like a fucking chicken?
00:59:44Do the sound.
00:59:46No, that's shit.
00:59:50Move your neck. Be a chicken.
00:59:52I'm a fucking chicken!
00:59:54I want you to be a chicken.
00:59:56I want you to feel it.
01:00:01I want you to transform into a chicken.
01:00:06I don't want any vestige of humanity left in you.
01:00:10I just want to see beard.
01:00:14So come on.
01:00:16Let's see you.
01:00:21What are you doing? That's not how a chicken walks.
01:00:23Come on! Come on! Peck!
01:00:25I'm fucking pecking!
01:00:26Get up on that sofa and fly off!
01:00:30I'm a cock!
01:00:31Be a chicken!
01:00:32I can't actually fucking fly, Tommy!
01:00:34Just be a fucking chicken!
01:00:36Come here!
01:00:37Come on!
01:00:38Come on!
01:00:39Look there's all grain there!
01:00:41Look come and pick the grain.
01:00:43Come here there's a whale!
01:00:44I want you to eat the whale you fucking chicken!
01:00:47Come here!
01:00:48There's a fucking whale here!
01:00:50There's a whale!
01:00:51Peck the grain!
01:00:52Peck it! Come on!
01:00:53Peck that fucking grain you chicken!
01:00:55I'm pecking the fucking grain!
01:00:57I'm pecking the fucking grain!
01:00:59Citizen Lisa you've got to stop him.
01:01:00Stay out of it.
01:01:01Come and eat this fucking whale!
01:01:03Come and eat the whale!
01:01:05Come and eat the whale you fucking chicken!
01:01:07I'm sick of it!
01:01:31Tommy! That's enough! Hey, fuck off!
01:01:35Don't you interfere! Otherwise it goes back up to 8 million!
01:01:38Can we just film this so we can wrap this up?
01:01:41He's got to attain the frequency burst!
01:01:44I need him to become a chicken!
01:01:49Come on! Be a fucking chicken!
01:02:00I need to go to the toilet.
01:02:04Yes!
01:02:10Go on, fuck off!
01:02:18Hurry up!
01:02:35Hey, Tommy.
01:02:38Who's the chicken now?
01:02:41Freddy! Fuck off!
01:03:04Do...
01:03:05Mi...
01:03:06Do...
01:03:07Ti...
01:03:08Pri...
01:03:09De...
01:03:10So...
01:03:11Tu...
01:03:12Fi...
01:03:13Tu...
01:03:14Re...
01:03:15Don...
01:03:16Ti...
01:03:17Do...
01:03:18Ti...
01:03:19Ri...
01:03:20Re...
01:03:21So...
01:03:22Tu...
01:03:23Do...
01:03:24Ti...
01:03:25Do...
01:03:26Ti...
01:03:27Re...
01:03:28Ti...
01:03:29So...
01:03:30Here I am here I am!
01:03:32There's a bang bang here, bang bang, here at that guy, here at that guy, everywhere at that guy's brains.
01:03:39How's your shot of God, lad?
01:03:42E-I-E-I-...
01:03:44AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
01:03:47Old Macdonald had a farm, e-I-E-I-O
01:03:50And on this farm he had some chicks, e-I-E-I-O
01:03:53With a chick chick here, a chick chick there
01:03:55A here chick, there chick, everywhere chick chick
01:03:57Old Macdonald had a farm, e-I-E-I-O
01:04:00Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:03And on this farm he had some doves, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:06With a quack-quack here, a quack-quack there, here
01:04:08Quack there, quack everywhere, quack-quack
01:04:09Chick-chick here, chick-chick there
01:04:11Here, chick there, chick everywhere, chick-chick
01:04:12Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:15Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-I-O
01:04:18And on this farm he had some pigs, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:21With a oink-oink here, a oink-oink there
01:04:23Here, oink there, oink everywhere, oink-oink
01:04:25Quack-quack here, quack-quack there
01:04:26Here, quack there, quack everywhere, quack-quack
01:04:28Chick-chick here, chick-chick there
01:04:30Here, chick there, chick everywhere, chick-chick
01:04:31Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:34Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:37And on this farm he had a boar, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:40With a clink-clink here, a clink-clink there
01:04:42Here, clink there, clink everywhere, clink-clink
01:04:44Oink-oink here, oink-oink there
01:04:45Here, oink there, oink everywhere, oink-oink
01:04:47Quack-quack here, quack-quack there
01:04:49Here, quack there, quack everywhere, quack-quack
01:04:50Chick-chick here, chick-chick there
01:04:52Here, chick there, chick everywhere, chick-chick
01:04:54Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O
01:04:57Old MacDonald had a farm
01:05:03And on his farm he had some cows