Noah Lyles is The Fastest Man Alive - August 5th, 2024 - Barstool Sports
John Rich | Barstool Rundown
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00Alright. It's the rundown Monday, August 5th. Little Monday, summer Monday squad, we'll call it.
00:10Handsome fellas, three handsome fellas. What else could you possibly want? Maybe not some of the Monday crew, but a great Monday crew.
00:15Nonetheless, plenty to talk about in this world. And I'm going to send it to my good pal, Rico Bosque, to tell you who has sponsored this wonderful rundown for us.
00:22Yeah, it's High Noon. Here's the tea about High Noon's all new vodka iced tea. It's made with real vodka, real iced tea, with no added sugar and no carbonation.
00:29If you're a hard tea lover who is done with sugary and malty based teas, you're going to love High Noon Vodka Iced Tea.
00:35With 90 calories, High Noon Vodka Iced Tea is great for any occasion. Under the sun, it comes in our four delicious flavors you've got to try.
00:42Original, peach, lemon, and raspberry. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find a pack near you.
00:47Beautiful thing. Pretty much spent my whole weekend. I was up in Saratoga. A little bit of horse racing. We were drinking some High Noons.
00:54And then just going back to the house, watching a whole lot of Olympics. I think that's going to be our first topic.
00:59We have an Olympics grab bag to open up the episode. We can kind of go whichever way you guys want.
01:04I feel like the 100-meter dash is always like, if not the number one story of the Olympics every four years, it's like top three.
01:11So, Noah Lyles wins the gold in the 100-meter dash. Photo finish, I thought like four other people won.
01:17I thought he came in fifth place. And then they do the whole, you know, it has to be the clavicle across the finish line.
01:24A bunch of nonsense. So, Noah Lyles winning it was absolutely incredible. Nicky, are you an Olympics guy?
01:30No, not really, to be honest with you. I did watch that. And I think the announcer probably ruined one of the greatest moments in sports history.
01:38Like you said, you thought he came in fifth. I couldn't tell you who won.
01:42There was a guy that was maybe a pubic hair away from Noah, like in terms of how close he was. He didn't even get a medal.
01:48That's the crazy thing I saw. That's how close this race was. It was unbelievable.
01:53Yeah, that was that was nuts. You can even tell Noah, like he's a shit talker.
01:57And I imagine, Nicky, I imagine you might have talked a few shit back in your day, you know.
02:01I love talking shit. And it was very weird seeing him like not being able to talk shit because he thought he lost, I think.
02:06And then as soon as it was, you know, Lyles comes off, he's waving his sign to the crowd.
02:10It was absolutely electric moment, other than the announcer botching it. Bosco, what was your take on it all?
02:15Just that photo was unbelievable to see when the guy is, like he said, like this far away and he didn't place.
02:20He didn't medal. That guy didn't medal. And that's the fastest man on earth.
02:23And you're like quarter of a second behind them, if that. Tenths of a second, five tenths, whatever it was.
02:28But it's just unbelievable. But yeah, anytime you're going to line people up and race, it's like Seinfeld.
02:33You know, like people wanted to watch that race. It's two idiots running.
02:37Like, of course, you're going to watch the fastest man in the world.
02:39So I'm not a huge Olympics guy, but I'm always going to watch the race.
02:43It's one of those things that's like just baked into the human DNA.
02:46I don't know about you guys, but like I remember dating back to kindergarten.
02:49The coolest, biggest kid in school at that point from like all elementary school was the fastest kid in school.
02:54Right. And he would run the races. And then you're just like, oh, shit, that kid can fucking run.
03:00Do you guys still remember your fastest kid from like your grade in elementary school?
03:03Oh, shit. No, I don't. But I remember I was one of the slowest kids in my elementary school.
03:09I was always getting tagged out on what we call a jailbreak or something.
03:14Yeah. And then there's just kids that just flew. I don't think they're in the Olympics anymore, but they might be.
03:18Who knows? Yeah, I remember that kid.
03:21Oh, it sounds like he might have been a skeleton, by the way.
03:24I mean, he just asked a lot of questions. He always brought up trains.
03:27Like the teacher would ask a math problem and he would somehow relate it back to trains that him and his dad loved.
03:31It was bizarre, but he was a fast fucking kid.
03:33And he loved trains with his dad. He loved trains with his dad. He did.
03:39He loved trains with his dad. Yeah, our kid was Chris Sori, I remember.
03:43And then we had three elementary schools in our school district.
03:45And like your fast kid would then race against all the other kids in like the track meets or whatever.
03:50And it was like our gladiator, basically, like he was going to defend us against everyone else in like the Hunger Games.
03:55And then when he come back as a hero, if he won or if he lost, we just say the other team cheated.
03:59It's like that shit, I think, travels across the world, how the speed works.
04:04Scotty Scheffler wins the gold. So on here, John Rich said he's now this year.
04:10One has a green jacket, gold medal.
04:13And then Jake Marks pointed out had an orange jumpsuit and a fucking baby this year.
04:17Is this the craziest year a golfer has ever had?
04:21Like Tiger might have the more successful years in the past, but like just craziest year.
04:25I think this has to be number one. No. Yeah, it's crazy. It's also crazy.
04:28It's a golfer, too. Like you told me this was a basketball player or whatever.
04:33Georgia football player. Yeah, exactly. You'd be like, all right, you know, par for the course.
04:37But it's a golfer who like is the nicest guy in the world.
04:40And he got in that whole controversy. It's nuts.
04:44I loved it. And I love Scotty Scheffler. I'm such a big Scotty guy.
04:48I mean, like you said, he's just one of the greatest people on planet Earth.
04:51Like wouldn't swat a fly, which is why it was so crazy when he did get arrested.
04:55And then he goes out there and birdies the first hole after being arrested.
04:58Just an all time moment as his kid.
05:01And then a bogey free 62 on Sunday to win gold for your country.
05:05And you could just tell how much it meant to him.
05:07He's over there crying on the podium when they're playing the national anthem.
05:10You just don't have that American pride in today's athletes anymore because they're all fucking communist pieces of shit.
05:16So it was good to see like a true good American here.
05:19I'll have some pride for this country.
05:21I'd really appreciate hearing that national anthem being played at the Olympics.
05:25I feel like it's good for golf, too, that there's like a golf where everyone can unite around.
05:29And I'm a very casual golf fan, but I know like some guys that have been big and Bryson.
05:34And I don't even know half these guys, but I think like some of them are love.
05:37Some of them are cocky. Given in the barstool world, Dave hates people or people aren't cool with us or they're cool with part of my take.
05:43And it's like, you don't really I don't really know who's good.
05:45I think Scottie Scheffler is basically 100 percent approval rating, right?
05:48Yeah. Yeah. And I think him getting arrested even boosted that even more.
05:54He played it off just an unbelievably. Yeah.
05:57Unbelievable year for Scottie Scheffler.
05:59Yeah. So I can't wait to see what he has next.
06:01I mean, shit still have like four months left in the year.
06:04I don't know what the golf schedule is like staying with the U.S., I guess.
06:07I saw Simone Biles. I think she just won a silver, but she went out of bounds.
06:12But her routine was so difficult.
06:14She still got silver after it was done instead of getting her the gold.
06:18Someone from Brazil won gold.
06:21Someone from Brazil won gold. And then we have someone in U.S. winning bronze.
06:24Am I crazy for saying this?
06:27I feel like like the Michael Phelps is and Katie Ledecky's of the world have like poison my brain where it's like you have to sweep your fucking events in gold in some people's mind to be like the goat.
06:36Right. I feel like Michael Phelps even had a couple silvers here and there because like Simone's already won gold.
06:42I think a couple of times this Olympics, if I'm not mistaking.
06:46But yeah, that Brazilian girl, that was her first ever gold medal.
06:49And her and Simone and the other gymnast girl kind of like paid their respects to her and like bent the knee, I guess, as she was walking up for gold.
06:58So it's pretty cool. But yeah, I mean, she's one of the greatest to ever do it.
07:01And anyone that's like shitting on her for coming in second is just a clown.
07:05Somebody brought this to my attention and I was like, oh, and it kind of soured me on these events a little bit.
07:11Boxing, gymnastics. And I think there's one more, but I'm forgetting which one it is.
07:18They're the only events that are judged by that are left to judges like the rest of it.
07:23The runners, they settle it themselves. So I kind of soured on gymnastics a little bit when I was like, oh, you know what?
07:28That's a good point. Like someone else is saying who's the best out there.
07:31You know, you could say that what they do, you could tell that somebody is better than somebody, but it's still opinion based.
07:37So I soured on gymnastics a little bit. I'd rather leave it up, leave it up to the competitors.
07:42You know what I mean? I know that's just the it's the chicken and the egg, but it's it soured me on it just a little bit.
07:52Yeah, you always have like you have countries, different countries, the judge, the Russian judge.
07:57And shit like that. So that is something that could definitely sour you on it.
08:00Are we going to talk about a female boxing? Are we going to leave that one out?
08:04I mean, I'll leave that one out. He met a boxing.
08:07We'll leave that one up to the editors. I guess we'll talk about it and we'll see if they keep it in or not.
08:11I mean, that that'll controversy. It's like I saw people were going crazy about it.
08:15And then there was like the wave of facts that came in. It's like, no, this is what it is.
08:18And then it's just crickets. It's just another day in the world. Right.
08:21It's like that was the biggest story for a day. And the next day, everyone just forgot about it.
08:25It's fucking. Isn't that crazy? Like that's just another 48 hour rule.
08:28You could do whatever you want. Forty eight hours go by. No one gives a fuck anymore.
08:32Unless you're Bosco. Everything Bosco has in his past always seems to get brought up.
08:36Everyone, every college football season. Bosco, you're about to.
08:39Are you getting nervous now that you're going back to the Thunderdome?
08:41Like, yeah, a little bit. I mean, things have been it's been peace times.
08:44You know what I mean? That's been much like really. I wouldn't even say it's been peace.
08:48Rico, you've been slamming mics, barking at press, sucking, grabbing people by the neck.
08:54Who'd I grab by the neck? Dave. I didn't grab him by the neck.
08:59High collarbone. I think more belly, a little more belly.
09:03But I mean, it's it's relatively peace times like they're they're grasping for stories.
09:08They're saying I'm asking for helicopters. So you were you were just joking.
09:12I said to Jack, there's no flight. I was like, I'm going to have to drive.
09:15Like we're I'm like doing I'm talking to him, like as we're just working through it.
09:20I'm not sure the way you're describing it, then it was a joke.
09:23Yeah, I mean, I'm like, yeah, there's no helicopters.
09:25I was like, they wouldn't pay for that. Like it's fucking.
09:28Oh, yeah. That Jack's nuts, dude. Jack's nuts.
09:31This is. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
09:33Like this is like we've gone from it used to be New York Post.
09:36Like I legit headlines of what I was doing.
09:38Now we're in a little bit of like National Enquirer.
09:41It's like they saw me on a UFO like next. You know what I mean?
09:44It's a little bit we're stretching a little bit here.
09:46You and the vampire kid are going to be on the cover pretty soon.
09:49Exactly. I feel like that kid lived on the fucking cover of the Enquirer back in the day.
09:52The last note I had here was the basketball stuff.
09:55Team USA is running through it so far throughout three.
09:58Honestly. Get rid of the three on three basketball from America.
10:02That's a fucking disgrace. Lose one to six to the Netherlands.
10:06I got friends on the staff. I got friends on the coaching staff.
10:08So I'll say it was a tough break. Jimmy was playing hurt.
10:11But it is tough that we turned the park event into an Olympic thing.
10:14And now we got flag coming in 2028. Yeah, that's tough.
10:17Three on three basketball is just the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life.
10:21And then I tuned in to watch it. You get a rebound. You have 12 seconds to shoot.
10:24These guys are just chucking up threes the whole fucking time.
10:27It's a disgrace to the actual game of basketball.
10:29Everyone knows three on three is a pickup thing. There's nothing professional about it.
10:32We sent out the fucking Looney Tunes squad before they started drinking Michael's magic stuff.
10:38I mean, I couldn't even tell you who those three bums were.
10:41If we're going to do it, do it right. Send out some three guys who are dogs and win fucking gold.
10:46If not, leave us the fuck out of it. There's no reason for us to get embarrassed by Netherlands 21 to 6.
10:52Yeah, it's tough. I love Jimmer. I mean, if you didn't love Jimmer, it's like you're just an asshole.
10:57You loved Jimmer 12 years ago when he was in his prime.
11:00At this point, if you're not going to win, just throw fucking like, I'm sure, hot sizzle at the professor.
11:06Like, just make it fun out there if we're going to lose. At least make it look flashy and lose.
11:10And if this is coming to our turf in four years, right? You can't lose at home.
11:15No, they got to figure something out. To lose 21 to 6 is crazy, too.
11:19Yeah, to the Netherlands.
11:21I think they need to put a limit on how many games they could add. It's just getting ridiculous.
11:25Air pistols, this, three on three basketball. I mean, they had speedwalking.
11:30What, was that last Olympics? Or did they have that this year, too?
11:34I'm waiting for the recreational games.
11:36I'm waiting for the recreational games when they put can jam and slam ball.
11:39Or not slam ball, spike ball into the fucking Summer Olympics.
11:44Yeah, let's get it.
11:45Next thing you know, they'll have like an all USA bender team.
11:48And me and Smacky Tables will have to be ripping alligator lines off tables faster than the people from Cuba.
11:53It's fucking crazy.
11:55Oh, man, there were some, I was in Florida earlier this year and there was a Florida man game.
12:00So there was all this crazy shit Florida men had to do.
12:02I think, like, we can throw that into the fucking mix for the Olympics. Why not?
12:05Let's rock and roll with that.
12:07I volunteer to serve you.
12:09Nick, you would have been great. There was a TV show that my brother turned me on to, like, ten years ago.
12:13It was called Keys to the VIP.
12:15And they would have different games of how to pick up women.
12:18Like, one of them was you had to pick up a woman without speaking.
12:20It was, and these guys, the main, bro, it was the best show ever.
12:24These main guys, see if you can find it on, like, a streaming platform.
12:28Keys to the VIP?
12:29Keys to the VIP.
12:30And then these guys would, like, judge.
12:32And they'd be like, oh, okay, I like Clem's style. I like what he did here.
12:34They'd be like, I like Nicky.
12:35And then at the end, they would pick who wins, and they'd get VIP with their boys at a club.
12:40It was the dumbest game show on the planet.
12:42But I used to watch it at, like, 11 o'clock on, like, Spike or something like that.
12:46It was unbelievably hilarious.
12:48Maybe I'll make that, like, a Barstool spinoff.
12:50Yeah. Keys to the VIP. It was fucking unreal.
12:53I'm looking at these pictures of these guys, and they're in their clubs and, like, vests and stuff.
12:57Nicky would be in the background if he wasn't, like, seven when this thing was filmed.
13:00Yeah.
13:01This is incredible.
13:02I was in college, and I used to just—you'd come back from the bars.
13:05The reruns would be on. It was fucking unbelievable.
13:07That's the show you were built for, Nicky. Keys to the VIP.
13:10Our Barstool original programming should just be rebooting all this shit,
13:13like MTV and Comedy Central just scrapped when they stopped caring about their stuff.
13:16Because there was—Seeker Library, one of my favorite shows of all time.
13:19I could just watch that shit for hours.
13:21Next.
13:22Absolutely.
13:23It was unbelievable.
13:24Next, yep. Next, Room Raiders.
13:26Yeah, I mean, the rock—still waiting for Rockin' Jock to come out.
13:28Just bring back Spring Break.
13:30Imagine if it's Nicky hosting fucking a countdown of the top ten music videos.
13:34Let's just go full retro. Let's go full retro.
13:37But you know that it's Nicky starts those, and then we have Mincy involved,
13:40and shit just gets crazy. Like, it's Barstool. It's a circus.
13:42Yeah. Mincy doing the whipped cream contest?
13:45I see, like, that could be problematic.
13:47Or Mincy introducing Dr. Dre and singing live.
13:50That could be a problem.
13:51Oh, yeah. Never live unless Big Cat's there.
13:53Some of those performances were fucking Eminem in a full velour sweatsuit,
13:58like, as Rebecca Romijn walks by, and he's, like, about to slide.
14:02Nick, that's—
14:03I wish I was old enough to know what you guys were talking about.
14:05Yeah.
14:06All right, put it—long story short, put it this way.
14:09MTV used to host a Spring Break, and that was their programming for the week,
14:13and you never knew when it was, but you would come home from school
14:15and turn it on, and you were just glued.
14:17At, like, ten years old, it turns boys into men.
14:21They had a whipped cream contest.
14:22They had Jerry Springer come down there once.
14:25Eminem performed.
14:26Dre performed.
14:27Biggie performed.
14:28They had, like, who's who of, like, legends.
14:31It was the goddamn best.
14:33One day, hopefully, Rico, if that could be us, that could be Barstool
14:36if we can, like, reboot that shit down the road.
14:39Another Barstool thing, obviously Michigan football,
14:41so the latest going on with this.
14:43It sounds like this is—there's going to be a decision
14:45or something's coming out with the news
14:47because it sounds like we're getting a lot of leaks here.
14:49The NCAA found that Michigan coach, is it Sharon Moore,
14:52deleted 62 text messages with Conor Stallions the day the report came out.
14:56Moore is one of seven staffers accused of violating NCAA rules,
15:00and Michigan is facing a potential playoff ban
15:03while Jim Harbaugh is in his fucking, like, RV in L.A. right now
15:06just getting ready to coach Justin Herbert for the next decade or so.
15:10So I'll yield it to you guys.
15:12Rico, obviously you do the college football stuff.
15:15What do you think about all this stuff going on with the—
15:17I used to care so much more of this.
15:19I'd be like, they didn't win a title.
15:21What matters is what happened on the field.
15:23They won. They were better than everybody.
15:25You can't take that away.
15:26At this point, I don't care.
15:28And then you're going to ban them? For what?
15:30It's better when they're involved.
15:31It's better when they're in the mix.
15:33I don't know. I'm just over this story.
15:35It was very hilarious though that Conor Stallions
15:37just has a closet full of other teams' polos
15:39and fake press passes that he can go on the sidelines.
15:42Kind of like you.
15:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. That's why I respect it.
15:46I respect it.
15:47But he's got more. He's got credentials.
15:49So it's unbelievable.
15:50I don't know. The whole story is fucking hilarious.
15:52Stallions running a manifesto.
15:54The whole thing, I'm kind of over it.
15:56They won. It's over.
15:58Yeah, I think sports are just way too late
16:00when it comes to making rulings on things that are fucked up.
16:03Like, for example, the Astros cheated.
16:06And now you have Michigan, the New England Patriots,
16:10notorious scumbag cheating fucks that get away with everything.
16:13You have Manchester City, who just breaks
16:16every financial fair play rule in the Premier League in soccer.
16:19So, like, they always wait to lay down the hammer
16:22after these cheating scumbags go out there
16:24and win their respective championships.
16:26So, like Rico said, the damage is already done.
16:28If you want to ban them, great.
16:30But it's not like the team that they're going to roll out this year
16:33is going to make any noise in college football.
16:35Everyone left. The team absolutely blows.
16:37No one knows what they really have in their head coach,
16:39besides he fucking cries after every game they win.
16:42I wish Michigan is sent to hell for the next 10 years.
16:45I have no respect for cheating scumbags who cheat the game.
16:48So, yeah, I hope they get banned. Now, do I care? No.
16:51I think Michigan is going to be irrelevant anyway this year.
16:54It's just funny to see Captain Dave, you know,
16:56flipping sides when his team gets caught cheating.
16:58But when other teams get caught cheating,
17:00he wants the law hammered down.
17:02He wants titles stripped and vacated.
17:04So it's just funny to see people flip-flop
17:06and show their true colors.
17:09Yeah, it's going to be interesting to see how it all goes down.
17:11And, I mean, Dave will be at the front lines,
17:13was at the front lines for the Patriots,
17:14was guarding that wall the entire time
17:16with Don Brady and the deflated footballs.
17:18I thought Tate bodied Bryce yesterday on Twitter.
17:22That video was great if you haven't seen it.
17:24Captain Tate here.
17:25Sorry I've been out on the water all day
17:27working on this perfect tent.
17:29But I just got back and I got to see Captain Dave's video
17:32telling Ohio State fans to quit crying about sign stealing
17:37and to beat Michigan on the field like men.
17:40And I'm fine if that's Captain Dave's opinion on sign stealing.
17:44The only problem is,
17:45is that's not Captain Dave's opinion on sign stealing.
17:48In fact, and I'll directly quote Captain Dave,
17:51that there is simply no place for teams
17:54that videotape the opponent's signals in any sport.
17:58And according to Captain Dave, teams that do that,
18:01governing bodies should come down hard
18:03and they should vacate their tainted championships
18:06because sports are a game of integrity.
18:09That's Captain Dave's words, not mine.
18:11It goes further with Captain Dave, though.
18:13Captain Dave says that Ohio State fans are crying about cheating
18:17when Captain Dave must have forgot
18:19that Captain Dave was the loudest crier
18:22when Ohio State players got tattoos
18:25and didn't even pay for them.
18:28That's Captain Dave crying, not me.
18:30It is preposterous just to think about
18:32when we lived through that tattoo scandal,
18:34if you even want to call it that,
18:35and the fucking judgments that came down from that.
18:37And then it's like you have this kind of stuff coming out.
18:39And this is why the NCAA,
18:41you can't just either punish all the guys
18:44who weren't even playing last year,
18:46because there'll be all these new guys and coaches,
18:48the coach isn't even there.
18:49And then you're going to take down the banner.
18:51Everyone who was drinking the champagne
18:53and smoking the cigars and have the rings and everything,
18:56they don't give a...
18:57I'm sure the college is bummed
18:58they can't put the banner up anymore.
18:59Other than that, it's like everyone acknowledges
19:01Michigan was the national champion last year.
19:03So they're just fine.
19:04Are they not going to put the banner up?
19:05That would be crazy.
19:07Nuts.
19:08Well, Michigan's going to put it up anyway.
19:10Yeah.
19:11Michigan's going to put it up.
19:12I mean, they're going to fucking put it up.
19:15We'll go to the controversial thing here.
19:17So we're going to move to the pop culture world now.
19:19The House of the Dragon finale was last night.
19:21Yes.
19:23Season two, episode eight went live.
19:27And pretty much I'd say 90% of the reaction is,
19:31what the hell was that?
19:33Anger, disappointment, I think more than anything.
19:36We had our game of stools live
19:38and we were crying, complaining,
19:40bitching and moaning about like,
19:42felt like a filler episode for an entire season.
19:45Some cool shit along the way,
19:47but it felt like it was like just building up
19:49for a full season after I was told this season
19:51was going to be awesome after last season,
19:53after season one was kind of a buildup season.
19:55And now I'm being told,
19:57we'll wait for season three.
19:58And at some point with Game of Thrones,
20:00you fucked me at the end of the Game of Thrones series.
20:03I'm feeling like I'm getting fucked all over again.
20:05I'm starting to lose my mind.
20:07Nikki Smokes, however, has quite the opposite take.
20:09So let us know what you think about this one, Nikki.
20:11This is exactly why I waited until today
20:14to watch your guys' dragon report,
20:16because I knew you fucking immature little bitches
20:18were going to be crying about,
20:19oh, there's no dragon fight.
20:21There's no this, there's no that.
20:22Why are we watching the whole show?
20:24Grow up, please, Clem.
20:26And I love you and I love Robbie.
20:28KFC and me, we're cool.
20:30But the reactions you guys gave yesterday
20:33were just so ridiculous.
20:36I appreciate the storytelling,
20:38appreciate how amazing that episode was, yes.
20:41Would it have been cool to see Vhagar burn the city down?
20:44Yes, I do believe we were robbed of that scene.
20:46You want to be upset about that, by all means.
20:48But to just label this whole season horrible
20:51when you had one of the best dragon fights ever,
20:54I think it was really the only one that we've seen.
20:57That was amazing in episode four.
21:00And yes, the finale, did you want war?
21:02Did you want people dying?
21:03Yes, but the shit that was told
21:05without having to go to war was insane.
21:08We finally understood why Damon was tripping balls
21:10for all of season two.
21:12It finally makes sense that he understands his true purpose
21:14because he was fighting the whole time with himself.
21:17Am I supposed to be king?
21:18Do I hate Rhaenyra?
21:19Do I want to start my own thing?
21:20Do I want to join Rhaenyra?
21:21And now he finally has a realization
21:23of what his real role is in this whole scheme.
21:26And then you have Alison,
21:27who's basically the reason why all this shit happened.
21:30It's like, you know what?
21:31Yeah, I fucked up the whole, I fucked everything up.
21:34I destroyed the realm.
21:35And now I'm like, you know what?
21:36I don't really want to do this anymore.
21:38When Aemon goes to fight whoever the fuck he's going to fight
21:41in the first episode of season three,
21:44we're just going to lay our swords down
21:45and you can just plop right up on the throne.
21:47No problem.
21:48And then Helene might be the most powerful piece
21:52to the puzzle that we've seen.
21:54She's telling Aemon, yeah, guess what?
21:56You're useless.
21:57You're going to die.
21:59Aegon's going to end up being king anyway,
22:01so you can do whatever the hell you want
22:02at the end of the day.
22:03It doesn't matter.
22:04You're already fucked.
22:05I thought it was beautiful.
22:06I think Aegon is going to be the one
22:07that ends up killing Rhaenyra.
22:09Rhaenyra's going to get the throne.
22:10Aegon's going to come back,
22:11and I think he's going to wipe the curse.
22:13I thought it was amazing.
22:14That's what the sister keeps saying.
22:16She keeps dropping the fucking spoilers on us, Alayna.
22:19Well, that part was spoiled from Game of Thrones
22:23when that scum fuck Joffrey was telling what's-her-face.
22:26Hey, hey, no spoilers.
22:27I don't know what you're talking about.
22:28No spoilers out here, Nicki Swift.
22:30No spoilers.
22:31Whatever.
22:32You've seen it.
22:33You've seen it.
22:34You've seen it.
22:35Rico, are you a Thrones guy?
22:37I begrudgingly watched Thrones live.
22:40Maybe after two seasons, I caught up,
22:42or three seasons, whatever.
22:44The way that they pulled the wool over your eyes
22:48at the end of it and how bad that finale was,
22:50shame on you guys for even watching this show.
22:52I know it's a great concept,
22:53but you don't think they're going to fuck you
22:54at the end of this one too?
22:55Shame on you guys.
22:57For all the complaining we did last night,
22:59we said it was a pretty good season at its moments.
23:01We just wanted more for a finale episode.
23:03They were like,
23:04I mean, Nicki Smokes,
23:05if you're going to defend that mud wrestling bullshit,
23:07the chick just wandering through fields,
23:08drinking water,
23:09fucking Corliss talking to his bastard
23:11for the 10th time during a Thrones finale,
23:13this used to mean something.
23:15We used to be a proper country, Nicki Smokes.
23:17Come on.
23:18What are we talking about here?
23:19The mud bath was dog shit.
23:21I'll give you that.
23:22I'm not saying the finale was perfect,
23:24but everyone burning the whole show to the ground.
23:26I'm not watching season three.
23:27Shut the fuck up.
23:28You know your bitch ass is watching season three.
23:30And the director came out and said,
23:31season three is going to be all about war.
23:33And I think they set it up perfectly.
23:35Now, dude,
23:36we have major blue balls.
23:38And did my stomach hurt after the screen went black
23:41at the end of the episode?
23:42Yes, absolutely.
23:43But this is what we do.
23:44This is what we signed up for.
23:46This is why we watch Thrones.
23:47Yep.
23:48No, it's true.
23:49Trent said it best.
23:50He's like,
23:51I'm going to stomp and stomp my feet
23:52and complain about the season two finale.
23:54And then in two years,
23:55I'm going to be watching every single minute of season three.
23:57They got you by the balls.
23:58Yeah.
23:59The only thing I'm disappointed in
24:00is the lack of tits and fucking.
24:02Yes.
24:03If they had thrown a couple of boobs our way,
24:05I think it would have,
24:06you know,
24:07cooler heads would have prevailed before everyone went crazy on
24:09Twitter or,
24:10you know,
24:11even just a burning,
24:12a casual death,
24:13whatever,
24:14though.
24:15Next,
24:16I do think like they're going to come in hot.
24:17It's going to be the first episode of season three.
24:18It's going to be like one of those firework factories,
24:20light on fire videos where it's just pop,
24:22pop,
24:23pop,
24:24pop,
24:25pop,
24:26and just things blowing up everywhere.
24:27Just as you know,
24:28I'm still in on it.
24:29It's just like,
24:30I'm starting to get worried.
24:31I do think we lost some people,
24:32but I think we're going to be all right in the longterm book.
24:35Readers have assured me that,
24:36and the nerds never lie.
24:37And then the last story,
24:39the last story of the day,
24:40I don't even know how to fucking like set the scene.
24:43It's a Madlibs.
24:44Yeah.
24:45It's a Madlibs.
24:46So RFK jr.
24:47Who's running for president,
24:49right.
24:50Independent,
24:51I guess,
24:52or whatever.
24:53He was on a podcast with Roseanne bar.
24:54So again,
24:55we're dealing with fucking Madlibs here and he,
24:57there was apparently a dead bear in central park found in New York
25:00city years ago.
25:01And people like,
25:02why is this little dead baby bear there?
25:04Well,
25:05apparently RFK said he was with someone.
25:07They hit the bear,
25:08killed it.
25:09And then he put the fed,
25:11the,
25:12the,
25:13the bear in his van,
25:14they went out like to eat.
25:15He was running out of time.
25:16So they have just thrown the bear in such a pursuit,
25:18basically copped to this like major news story that happened years
25:20ago,
25:21probably because the New Yorker was about to expose it right.
25:23As his president,
25:24dental races,
25:25you know,
25:26all the stretch of the political world.
25:27I don't even know what the fuck to make of this.
25:30So Rico,
25:31give me your thoughts on this.
25:32Then he brings it back to central park and puts a bicycle next to
25:35it to make it like it's a bicycle act.
25:37Cause there was accidents that were happening a bunch of times in
25:40there and somebody is going to expose to him.
25:42And he's like,
25:43he gets in front of the story and tells it to Rosie O'Donnell.
25:45The real peak key piece of this story is where they went to eat.
25:49And that shows you that nothing will disrupt a meal at Peter Luke.
25:52You can have a dead fucking bear in your car and you have dinner
25:55reservations at Lugas.
25:56You'll go.
25:57So that's what I took out of this.
25:58You don't miss anything for Lugas.
26:01That's fair.
26:02I've never heard of that restaurant,
26:04but hearing him try to explain that story hurt my head.
26:10I had to watch it three times to understand what he was saying.
26:14It was one of the worst told stories I've ever heard.
26:16I was more confused after listening to him that I was reading John
26:20Scripps breakdown of what happened.
26:22I mean,
26:23it was horrible.
26:24He gave himself no favors.
26:26No,
26:27he's not a good storyteller.
26:28I think the thing with him too,
26:30is I think when you are Kennedy or someone who's uber rich or powerful
26:33from one of these legacy families,
26:35you're just not normal.
26:36So this is just a day.
26:37This is a,
26:38this was a crazy Tuesday in our RFK his life.
26:40And it's like,
26:41Oh,
26:42we kid a bear and we put it there.
26:43Any of us happens to us.
26:45You know,
26:46our fucking worlds are changed after the Kennedy's and killing though.
26:48Like they're just,
26:49yeah.
26:50You know,
26:51the grandfather or the father,
26:52like with the drowning incident,
26:54that thing,
26:55they're just killing bears and going to eat fucking thick cut bacon.
26:58Like,
26:59there's just no,
27:00there's no regard for these people with killing.
27:02They're just like,
27:03yeah,
27:04yeah.
27:05I just,
27:06I killed the bear.
27:07It's in the car,
27:08but give me more of the fucking,
27:09the bacon and the steak.
27:10You know what I mean?
27:11Like it's crazy.
27:12It's fucking Kennedy's and nuts.
27:13Maybe bears are cute too.
27:14Like that's not good for your image.
27:15There's like,
27:16maybe it has a raccoon,
27:18something innocent.
27:20What are people doing in central park?
27:21There's like an episode of SVU mixed with like animal planning.
27:24Like nobody's in central park.
27:26He's just putting a bicycle next to a dead bear.
27:28How do you lug a fucking debt?
27:29He's lugging it.
27:30Fucking dead bear out.
27:31That's crazy.
27:32I challenged it.
27:33Somebody saw this.
27:34Think about what you're carrying,
27:35dude.
27:36It's like carrying a fucking sectional couch.
27:39Like your whole,
27:40what are you fucking doing?
27:41It's bleeding everywhere.
27:42He wears suits.
27:43What the fuck?
27:44He's doing it from the restaurant.
27:47And it's like,
27:48yeah,
27:49we're drinking.
27:50We're having fun laughing.
27:51It would be funny if we put the bike there.
27:52But those people,
27:53like,
27:54so those are like the peak socialites.
27:55What the fuck?
27:56Kind of like conversations and daily lives with those.
27:58Yeah,
27:59it's nuts.
28:00Nuts.
28:01Crazy story.
28:02But Peter Lucas is a steakhouse,
28:03Nick in New York.
28:04That's you don't miss it.
28:05You don't miss it.
28:06I'll have to try that if I ever come to New York,
28:08but I did see this couple walk out of a sex shop yesterday and they're just smiling at each other.
28:16And I was like,
28:18I kind of,
28:19I feel that,
28:20but I was like,
28:21if I ever got caught walking out of a sex shop with like the toy in my hand,
28:25I'd be a little embarrassed.
28:27No.
28:28Yeah,
28:29especially if it's somebody,
28:30you know,
28:31imagine if they ran into somebody they know,
28:32I didn't know them,
28:33but they walked out.
28:34We made eye contact and then they just started smiling,
28:36smiling at each other.
28:37It's like,
28:38yeah,
28:39he just caught us like being horny.
28:40I don't know.
28:41I thought that was weird.
28:42What do you think is worth being,
28:43being caught walking out of a fucking sex shop or waiting for a sex shop to open?
28:47And you see somebody,
28:48you know,
28:49well,
28:50that sounds like it happened to you.
28:52No,
28:53no,
28:54I'm just throwing out a hypothetical.
28:56If there is someone waiting for a sex shop to open,
29:00you have a serious problem.
29:03And I hope I'm not offending anyone in the company,
29:05but that is unbelievable,
29:07brother.
29:08Like what?
29:09You know,
29:10what time stores open,
29:11go on Google and type it in.
29:12You don't need to be waiting in line for the poor guy walking into the sex shop
29:16at 9am.
29:17And you and your girl are just sitting there dripping wet,
29:19trying to buy a new toy.
29:20That's unbelievable.
29:21It's sick.
29:24Ah,
29:25from dead baby bears to sex shops.
29:27You got to love.
29:28That's why you tune in tomorrow.
29:29Now you never know where we're going to head.
29:30As for the after show,
29:31we have a couple of things,
29:32but first I gotta say,
29:33Nikki smokes,
29:34the hair grew back.
29:35All right.
29:36I,
29:37you shaved it off in a wild,
29:38like just rash decision,
29:39but a shout out to you.
29:40Uh,
29:41this Friday,
29:42rough and rowdy.
29:43We got Mikey bets versus one of those able brother motherfuckers.
29:46And a loser leaves town match.
29:48A loser leaves town match.
29:50Must watch.
29:51Fuck you,
29:52Zach Gable.
29:53You little bitch.
29:54Mikey bets has man.
30:00Rough and rowdy because of Frank.
30:02I need to fight for Frank.
30:03I don't like the able brother.
30:04The able brothers always bring it.
30:06The crowd is loving the action.
30:11Hey,
30:12Frank,
30:13I'm going to destroy your guy.
30:14This isn't going to be close.
30:16I never seek my fights,
30:17but I've always got into a lot of fights.
30:19We can watch it,
30:20but who's this guy?
30:21He's fighting dude.
30:22Like,
30:23is he an accredited fighter?
30:24Is he a drunk guy in the parking lot?
30:27He's a go boy.
30:28He's a go boy.
30:30Fuck you.
30:31You got D cup titties.
30:32You're fat as fuck.
30:35I feel bad for Mikey.
30:36This man just got hired full time and now he's fighting for his life.
30:39Literally.
30:40It's crazy.
30:41He fights for his life every day.
30:42Now he literally has to fight for his life.
30:44Yeah.
30:45I mean,
30:46working under Frank is that's hell on earth in itself.
30:49So now,
30:50now he's got to fight for that.
30:51Right?
30:52Like imagine fighting to just keep working for Frank.
30:56Yeah.
30:57Fighting yelled at about like the Mets blowing a four run lead and then
31:00winning the game at the end of the day and doing the hot dog.
31:03That's tough.
31:04Uh,
31:05Nikki,
31:06you went to Lollapalooza.
31:07I saw it was mid.
31:08Yeah.
31:09Absolute dog shit.
31:10Horrible festival.
31:11Um,
31:12I grew up,
31:13I was born and raised in South Florida,
31:14so I've been going to ultras.
31:15I've been going to EDC is like,
31:17I've been going to very high end music festivals and I've heard nothing but
31:22good things about Lala.
31:24And then I see the lineup.
31:26It's absolute dog shit.
31:27Where was it?
31:28Sell it in Chicago.
31:30Oh really?
31:31Yeah.
31:32Where they had the NASCAR race and they had one tent,
31:36and this whole venue that sold hard liquor,
31:39that's it.
31:40One tent selling hard liquor.
31:42You,
31:43you basically had to sit there and drink tall boys the whole time.
31:46And look,
31:47drinking tall boys and dancing and getting hyped to music is not a good
31:52mix at all.
31:54Like the fact that they only had one tent that sold hard liquor,
31:57insane.
31:58The lineup suck.
31:59The prices were ridiculous.
32:01And I know music festivals and concerts,
32:03you're always going to pay a premium for food and drinks,
32:05but usually the artists performing are worth it.
32:08There wasn't one single day at Lala where I was like,
32:11Oh,
32:12I want to see more than one or two people.
32:13I thought it was terrible.
32:14Fair enough.
32:15Rico,
32:16what's your last concert you've been to?
32:17Hootie Friday night.
32:19How was that?
32:20It was good.
32:21I ran into cons in the parking lot.
32:23Oh,
32:24that's right.
32:25Peace in our times.
32:26Yeah.
32:27Crazy.
32:28It was right next to my boy's tailgate.
32:29We had a good night,
32:30but yeah,
32:31Hootie jams.
32:32And you know,
32:33I miss con squash,
32:34the beef immediately.
32:35I can gather.
32:36And that's good to see.
32:37We're all growing,
32:38right?
32:39We're growing as people.
32:40We're growing.
32:41We're getting better.
32:42We're getting better from,
32:43I think I'm retired from music festivals after that.
32:44That was it.
32:45Yeah.
32:46Like that's it.
32:47I'm like,
32:48I'm done with this shit.
32:49I'm too old number in the rafters.
32:50I had a buddy who moved to Miami and he was doing all those electric
32:52shits.
32:53And I mean,
32:54and they're the same way.
32:55Like they,
32:56they hit their point.
32:57Well,
32:58how old are you now,
32:59Nick?
33:00I'm sorry.
33:01I'm 27 right now.
33:02Okay.
33:03I thought 27,
33:04I thought was when they started to hang them up.
33:05But I mean,
33:06maybe if you know,
33:07I've been,
33:08I've been going since I was like 15,
33:0916 years old.
33:10It's just an excuse to like pop Molly and do drugs.
33:13So I'm retired.
33:14Fair enough.
33:15I saw Janet and Nelly live.
33:16They were,
33:17it was delightful.
33:18It was a Jack.
33:19Nelly was actually better than Janet,
33:20believe it or not.
33:21And that's pretty much thrown down the stock market crashing.
33:24I mean,
33:25at this point,
33:26there's like a catastrophic event every day.
33:27And I think it's like,
33:28again,
33:29our brains are so broken by the new cycle.
33:30I'm just like,
33:31oh,
33:32that'll figure itself out.
33:33And I think it has,
33:34as it figured itself out.
33:35Yeah.
33:36Okay.
33:37There we go.
33:38I took all my money out a long time ago after I got burnt by COVID.
33:42I realized that if you don't have money,
33:44you're not making money in the stock market.
33:46And I just don't have the money to make money.
33:48So I don't give a fuck anymore.
33:50Yeah.
33:51I'm just one of the small fish that throws their little money out there,
33:53gets eaten by the big fish.
33:54And then I just walk away.
33:55Broke.
33:56I'd rather not do that anymore.
33:57So Jersey,
33:58Jerry,
33:59Warren says this.
34:00He's like the fucking,
34:01he's like Nostradamus.
34:02You just wait for another Jerry ism to come up and like,
34:04you know,
34:05take over the world.
34:06So that's the rundown.
34:07We'll see you guys tomorrow.
34:08Same time,
34:09same place.
34:10All right.
34:11It was a pleasure.
34:12Thanks.