Love Off The Grid S02E05 (2024)
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00:00Do the sound.
00:17Anybody would want to buy their house and not have to go through the process of building
00:21it themselves.
00:22But when you go out on the front porch and just look out over the property, you feel
00:25the joy and the excitement and the happiness from knowing that, like, this house that
00:30you live in is the home you created.
00:33It's just...
00:34I don't know.
00:35It's kind of surreal.
00:36Everybody get a piece.
00:37Ooh, they fighting.
00:38Give me some more bread.
00:39Joe and I have come a long way from a tent and an empty field, but at times it still
00:45feels lonely.
00:46So we've been trying to get pregnant, and we'll have Lauren out here soon, but I miss
00:50having a big family around me.
00:53Hold up.
00:57There's mama.
01:01We're here.
01:04Oh, my God.
01:05Hey, mama.
01:06Y'all so loud.
01:07It's OK.
01:08It's really good to have my mom and my aunt come out and see us.
01:13I'm usually the one who makes the trip two hours to Fayetteville, but they said they
01:17want to see how I was living.
01:18Go, go.
01:19Go, Galena.
01:21Oh, my God.
01:23The first time I met her mama was on the morning of our wedding day, actually.
01:28When I first met Joe, my major thing was you make sure that you take care of my daughter
01:32and you keep her safe.
01:33He was very polite.
01:34He was very humble.
01:36So I think he's good.
01:37I think he's a good son-in-law.
01:40What y'all doing?
01:42Making some slaw.
01:43Making some slaw.
01:44Oh, wow.
01:45Pig slaw.
01:46You remember, like, how grandma and me used to have the slaw bucket when we was younger
01:48and put the food in there?
01:50Yeah.
01:51You look fancy.
01:52If I had known the grass was this high, I would have wove some boots, too.
01:55You should have told me.
01:57I mean, it's Alabama.
01:59Y'all got some nice plants.
02:00They're a little tall.
02:01Y'all gonna trim them down?
02:02He will eventually.
02:03Yeah.
02:04Okay.
02:05We let them bloom out first.
02:06Okay.
02:07All right.
02:08Well.
02:09Y'all help us feed the pigs?
02:10I got the bucket up on the porch.
02:11Well, yeah.
02:12I didn't hear you say yeah.
02:13You didn't sign up for penal pay.
02:15You didn't sign up.
02:16Okay.
02:17I know.
02:18All right.
02:19Can I put my hands in it to give it to him?
02:20No, you just dump it.
02:21All right.
02:22Yeah.
02:23Okay.
02:24All right.
02:25I was just asking.
02:26My mom and my aunt like to be in the house, in the city, with TV and air conditioning.
02:31But the best way to experience this lifestyle firsthand is to come out here and help on
02:35the homestead.
02:36Who is this?
02:37That's Addie.
02:38I should have worn some boots.
02:39Addie.
02:40Hey, Addie.
02:41Addie.
02:42Where do you put the boots at?
02:43Addie, you fat as me.
02:44Okay.
02:45So I'm gonna give it to him.
02:46You gotta walk in the cage.
02:47Sure.
02:48You going by yourself?
02:49No.
02:50Oh.
02:51Well.
02:52The pig poo is on that side.
02:53I don't want to not fit.
02:54I don't want my grand animals not to think I don't love them.
02:55I got no brand.
02:56Addie, baby.
02:57Cause I do.
02:58Addie.
02:59She know you got some good shit.
03:00Okay, Addie.
03:01That don't look like a lot of food.
03:02You gonna touch Addie?
03:03Yeah.
03:04Hey, Addie.
03:05Whoa!
03:06Shit!
03:07Addie's not quite as friendly as I thought.
03:08How hard did you touch her?
03:09I tried.
03:10I tried.
03:11I tried.
03:12I tried.
03:13I tried.
03:14I tried.
03:15I tried.
03:16I tried.
03:17How hard did you touch her?
03:18I just barely touched.
03:19Put my hands on her.
03:20There you go.
03:21Make a new door.
03:22I scared her.
03:23Yeah, I'll tear it open, that damn door,
03:24so I can get out of here.
03:25No.
03:26Oh, my God.
03:27Do y'all play with her?
03:28No.
03:29Oh, well, what the hell you want me to touch her for?
03:33See, she know you coming.
03:35Oh.
03:36Addie didn't really want to be touched.
03:38She just.
03:39Like.
03:40Like.
03:41Almost like a growl.
03:42A pig growl.
03:43A pig growl.
03:44Oh, it is scared the dickens out of me, so.
03:49Terry, let your sister out, child.
03:51I'm trying to.
03:52See, Mama, you want to try again?
03:54No, no, no.
03:55I'm scared now.
03:56Yeah, Addie done traumatized.
03:59Addie done traumatized me.
04:02Some of my family thinks I'm crazy for being
04:05out here on the property.
04:06But my mom makes that effort to come out here
04:08to show me that, you know, she supports my decision.
04:11When we first came out to the property,
04:14my mom was like, if y'all are building a tiny home,
04:16I need Joe to build me a tree house.
04:18I would love to have my mom on the property,
04:20especially if I plan to have kids.
04:22I cannot.
04:23Mama said, whoa, shit.
04:25Uh-uh.
04:26But even though my mom is supportive of anything
04:30that I do, she definitely has reservations
04:32about us being poly.
04:33So I feel like me and my mom should
04:35have a conversation about the poly lifestyle.
04:37Because the next time that she's out here,
04:39Lauren will be living here.
04:40So it needs to happen.
04:42Pick your feet up.
04:43There you go.
04:44Oh.
04:45There you go.
05:00This area is what they call the rock patch.
05:05Because of all the rocks?
05:06Yeah.
05:07You're a good guesser.
05:09There are a ton of rocks through here.
05:11Yeah, so.
05:12We could use them for stuff, couldn't we?
05:14Yeah, we use them for the foundation and fireplace.
05:16All I have to do is put them on the wheelbarrow
05:18or the back of the tractor or the trailer
05:20and just load them up and bring them down.
05:23What do you think?
05:24I think it's very peaceful.
05:26And see, originally, this is where I'd
05:30actually wanted to build.
05:32Here, in this spot?
05:33Yeah, in this general area.
05:38So I've been thinking where Jen and I could build
05:41our future home, other than the shack.
05:44And what I envision is that, you know,
05:49Jen and I have our one central location home.
05:53And then the boys have a cabin here, a cabin there,
05:56sprinkled throughout the property.
05:58And when they come and visit, a couple problems.
06:02You could probably see the obvious.
06:04There's no view?
06:06Yeah, it's thick.
06:07Yeah, I imagine waking up and seeing
06:10that vast mountain range.
06:12Well, I mean, you could see the Linville Gorge,
06:14and then you could see all the way to
06:16Kings Mountain in Rutherfordton.
06:18That's what I would like to see.
06:21The timber is old enough down there that we can cut.
06:24So we could take the money from the timber
06:26and pay for what we're going to do.
06:29And then it opens up the view,
06:30so we kill two birds with one stone.
06:32Have you brought the boys up through this part, this area?
06:35Because I have never walked up through here.
06:37Yeah, this is kind of basically where
06:39they were going to the bathroom.
06:43Justice and, well, they've all been up in here.
06:46And I kind of mentioned it for them
06:48to build little cabins in here.
06:50Okay, but I think it matters what they want.
06:53I mean, are you saying if they want to build out there
06:56where the view is that they could?
06:58No, they can't do that.
06:59Why?
07:00Really?
07:01Where are you going to build, Jen?
07:02Out there.
07:04They're not building a house right beside us.
07:06Where the view is.
07:07They can find their own view.
07:08That's our view.
07:11The beauty about living this way
07:13is that everybody could actually have their own spot.
07:16We have the land, right?
07:18We should take advantage of being able to be
07:22all over the land.
07:24You know, man wants his place.
07:27No, I like the idea of the boys being with me.
07:33They're living in my house.
07:35That's what my vision is.
07:38Well, I don't really want to walk out on the deck naked
07:41and be staring at Kern, you know?
07:43Oh, they'll probably be well acquainted
07:45with your nakedness at this point in time
07:47if they're around.
07:48Well, I won't be.
07:49Are you thinking of them as, like, grown men?
07:52They are grown men, Jen.
07:53Well, I mean, I know that,
07:54but I mean, is that what you're, like, imagining?
07:56Like, it's just weird to me.
08:00Better talk to them about where they're gonna build.
08:03I think Charlie's thinking that
08:06he's thinking a little further in the future
08:08of the boys being men,
08:09but I'm thinking of now.
08:12We might be having a discussion about something
08:14that is unnecessary at this point.
08:16They're just trying out the mountain
08:18like I was trying out the mountain.
08:21Who knows what they'll do?
08:22There's a lot of ifs, but I personally want,
08:25I want our house to have at least
08:27a little bit of space for them.
08:30One extra room.
08:31We'll get them a car,
08:32and they can sleep in the basement.
08:33Okay, listen, listen.
08:34Quit being so rough about it.
08:37Take it down.
08:38Like, I understand what I'm saying.
08:40If I'm building a house,
08:42and I have young children that are still not adults,
08:44they're gonna have a space in my house.
08:46Do you understand what I'm saying?
08:48Kinda.
08:51I think that they should take the opportunity
08:53if they've given the opportunity
08:54to build them a little cabin.
08:56Okay, but that's a, that's...
08:57I'm thinking about them more than, than...
09:01Than I think?
09:03I believe so.
09:04Is that what you're trying to say?
09:05Yeah.
09:06Okay.
09:07I'm talking about their future.
09:09And their future if they,
09:10so you're saying, like,
09:12if my kids had a little place up here,
09:13and they wanted to, and they were,
09:15you know, and they were able to...
09:17Well, see, now you're speaking,
09:18now you're speaking about legacy.
09:20And that's what it is.
09:24For Dad to make that decision before he passed
09:26to build there,
09:27it was one of the greatest things that could've happened.
09:29Now Mom is secure.
09:31Mm-hmm.
09:32If he hadn't have made that decision,
09:33you know, it would've been tough,
09:34especially today.
09:36So it's almost my legacy is to,
09:39to do what he did here,
09:41and, you know, in 20 years, we're gone.
09:45I'm not gonna be gone in 20 years, boy.
09:46Yeah, I know.
09:48I know how much this mountain means to you.
09:51And your heart for this to,
09:53the boys to have some of this for their own
09:56is huge for me.
09:58And I'm not taking that lightly.
10:00I want them to want to build a little space here.
10:03I can see if every one of them
10:04had a piece of their heart here too,
10:06that would mean the world to me.
10:09I need your gentleness
10:11in communicating about the boys
10:13and how we do it.
10:14Do you know what I mean?
10:16Yes.
10:18Before he gives my sons a mountain,
10:21Charlie and I need to establish
10:23and build a life together.
10:25I'm just, I'm, I'm,
10:26it's still like an emotional transition for me.
10:28Yeah.
10:29But honestly, if he wants me to make plans
10:32and talk about a house and my future with him,
10:35put a ring on my finger.
10:38I can't wrap my head around
10:40this is what I'm thinking about for my future.
10:44Mermaid on the mountain.
10:46Mermaid on the mountain.
11:03Oh, I got, I got,
11:04take this and I got to grab the cookies real quick.
11:06Oh yeah.
11:07I forgot them.
11:08I'm sure.
11:09It's really great to have goats on a homestead
11:11because they can provide meads and milk
11:14and you can make cheese with the milk.
11:15You can make soap with the milk
11:16and then their manure is great fertilizer.
11:21Notch, I want a cookie.
11:23Come on, Notch.
11:25I know they're supposed to be functional,
11:26but they've become my friends.
11:28I hang out with my goats a lot.
11:30All right.
11:32With everything that I do,
11:33I want Jen to trust me
11:34and just learn that I'm capable.
11:36Even something as kind of off-putting
11:40as like trimming goat hooves
11:41and getting down near their feet
11:43and all of that stuff.
11:45I really want Jennifer to see
11:46that I'm just putting forth 100%
11:48and giving it my all.
11:50I have to hide those tools from you.
11:52You know what's going on, huh?
11:54What's going on?
11:55I got the cookies, Jennifer.
11:56Oh, awesome.
11:57A lot of the things that we do are hard
11:58and dirty and sometimes dangerous
12:00and sometimes we don't know what we're doing
12:02until we actually get into it.
12:04So I think this is really an important task
12:06for her to try to accomplish with me.
12:09Okay.
12:10Am I going to be assaulted by goats
12:11for the cookies in my pocket?
12:12No, we want to come on this side, though.
12:14We want to stand in front of him.
12:16Okay.
12:18Okay.
12:20Hi, good boy.
12:22Hi, Notch.
12:24Hi, honey.
12:25Hi.
12:26Watch out, J.D.
12:27Watch out.
12:29Okay.
12:30So back here.
12:35There's two separate parts.
12:37Um, that part that's overgrown right there?
12:40Yes.
12:41I have to cut off.
12:43Okay.
12:45Good boy.
12:47That's a good boy, Notch-o.
12:49I'm really surprised he's acting so good about this.
12:53Um, okay.
12:58Are you doing okay?
12:59Yeah.
13:01See how it's overgrown?
13:03Yes.
13:08Oh, no.
13:10J.D.
13:11What's he doing?
13:12Over by the door.
13:13Is he getting around?
13:14J.D., no.
13:15J.D.
13:16I can't stop right this second.
13:17J.D., no.
13:18If Jennifer and I were both in the city,
13:21there would be no issues in a relationship.
13:23There wouldn't be so much work to do.
13:25There wouldn't be so many chores to get done.
13:27There wouldn't have so many expectations.
13:29You know, we both know how to live in a town.
13:31What the hell?
13:32Come here.
13:33What's going on?
13:34The goats are out.
13:36But, yeah, it's just out here.
13:37It's a challenge.
13:39Oh!
13:40What?
13:41He just, like, did you see him just run away?
13:43Oh!
13:44Did he just pass you?
13:46Come on.
13:47Are you not closing that door?
13:48Yes, it's closed.
13:49No.
13:50It's locked.
13:51Come on.
13:52I got the cookies.
13:53Come on.
13:54Goats are assholes.
13:57I'm guarding the door now.
14:00I've never literally been able to say,
14:02I smell like goat.
14:04I was thinking that was a concern I had
14:06when I first met you, is if I smelled like goat.
14:09You did not smell like goat, in fact, when I met you.
14:11Well, I was lucky then.
14:13I was really concerned on our first date,
14:15I mean, like, that I might smell like a goat.
14:19When she showed up with the alfalfa in her hair,
14:22just all real.
14:23I really did have alfalfa in my hair.
14:25She was beautiful.
14:26I was hooked.
14:27I'm all about the treats.
14:29I did my best.
14:30Easy.
14:31You want to try it?
14:32Yeah.
14:33Okay, so it's just like a toenail,
14:34and there's a quick underneath there.
14:35Okay.
14:36If you get to where you see pink,
14:37that's when you want to stop.
14:38Okay.
14:39Otherwise, they're cool.
14:40Okay.
14:41Okay?
14:42Okay.
14:43I am hoping to show Jen that I'm capable,
14:45and I feel like, you know, everything that I do
14:48is one more step.
14:50Good boy.
14:51He don't know what he's doing.
14:53But I'm really scared that she'll never see my determination
14:57or see how much I really want to be here
15:00and accomplish everything that I need to accomplish
15:03and learn what I need to learn.
15:04Good boy.
15:05You're such a good puppy.
15:07Good puppy?
15:08He's like, really?
15:10I thought I was your favorite goat.
15:13Ouch!
15:14Did he bite?
15:15Yes!
15:16Ah!
15:17Oh, my gosh.
15:20Ah!
15:39Hey, baby.
15:40How's it going?
15:42Things have gotten so much better since going around to the community
15:45and setting boundaries,
15:47but Ryan is still working all the time,
15:49so I'm going to see if there's anything that I can do to help him.
15:54You ready to get dirty?
15:56Yeah.
15:57Thank you for coming.
15:59Yeah.
16:00Leo's going to beat you to it.
16:02Hey, get out of there.
16:07It kind of smells bad.
16:10Yeah.
16:12But do you throw things away?
16:13Yeah.
16:14So we're going to clean up after ourselves.
16:16This is the place where all that trash magically disappears to.
16:20Building this community, it's not just about new structures.
16:24It's also maintaining what we have.
16:26Some people didn't sort it properly, so it's a free-for-all.
16:29People just throw their stuff?
16:31People just throw stuff here.
16:32So you want me to open the bag and start to sort through someone else's trash?
16:37Yeah.
16:38I'm going to do it too.
16:40I don't know if I want to touch that stuff.
16:42That's a lot of flies.
16:43It's a lot of flies.
16:45When the garbage stays here too long, it gets nasty.
16:48There's maggots, flies lay their eggs, critters get into it,
16:51and if mice come, then snakes come, and rattlesnakes are really dangerous.
16:56So we've got to get this done today.
16:58We've had a lot of rain, and that actually makes it worse.
17:02But I haven't had time to go to the dump.
17:05It's probably been going on two months.
17:07Two months.
17:11All I can think about is what's growing inside of those bags.
17:17In Santa Fe, I threw my trash in trash bins, recycle bin, regular trash, compost.
17:24Once a week, move the trash cans out to the street for it to be emptied.
17:27Boom, trash is done, it's gone.
17:29Living off-grid, we don't have somebody coming and picking up the trash every week.
17:35All right.
17:37I'll be a team player.
17:39I need, like, a mask for all the flies.
17:42They're not going to get in your mouth.
17:44How do you know?
17:47I don't really want to be doing construction all day with a whole bunch of people,
17:51but I am very open to contributing here and there around the property
17:55to make my relationship with Ryan off-grid work.
17:59This is really gross.
18:01Taking out the trash is very unpleasant,
18:03but the way I see it is it's an opportunity for me to meet him halfway
18:08in order to make our relationship work.
18:11This one is safe to go.
18:13You want to help me with this?
18:15Okay.
18:17That does not smell nice.
18:20I understand Ryan's desire to help take care of people,
18:24but I think that there might be a different way to go about this trash situation.
18:29So why are you doing it?
18:31It would make more sense for people to dispose of their own trash.
18:35That's true.
18:37The dump's expensive.
18:39If you take your car in there, they charge you per trip.
18:41Have you ever thought about making things organized?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Maybe signs.
18:48I think signs would be a great idea.
18:50All right, I'm going to be up real early.
18:52We're going to start making signs.
18:56Even with all the trash and all the nastiness, she showed up today.
19:00But what encourages me the most is Shayla came up with some really good ideas
19:04that I think are going to make us a little bit more effective.
19:07Do you want to take this to the dump tomorrow?
19:10Okay, we'll see.
19:13It honestly surprises me how happy Ryan gets when I'm working with him
19:18because we're doing simple, mundane, in my mind not so fun tasks,
19:22and he's just on cloud nine.
19:25But I still just don't enjoy it.
19:28Not your favorite activity?
19:29I don't think so.
19:31There's worse ones.
19:32Like what?
19:33We caught a mouse.
19:35No, you didn't.
19:36Yep.
19:37It's in the greenhouse.
19:40I think I would rather take the truck one time.
19:43You're a trooper.
19:45Oh.
19:47I just don't want to change the mousetrap.
19:49I don't want to change the mousetrap.
20:07These damn bugs ain't no damn joke out here.
20:09No, they not.
20:10They be eating you up.
20:14I've been stressed with Lauren potentially joining our relationship.
20:17And this whole getting pregnant thing,
20:19and I'm just happy to have family out here to support me
20:22and experience the lifestyle that I'm living.
20:25What is that for?
20:27I'm making a homemade weed killer.
20:29The vinegar burns the leaves.
20:31The salt prohibits new growth.
20:33And the dish detergent helps everything just stick together.
20:37We do this once a week, and it just keeps stuff from growing.
20:42This is the first time that my family has actually shown interest
20:45in our sustainable living.
20:46But the other big part of our life is the plan to have multiple people out here.
20:51Y'all take y'all's shoes off out here?
20:53Yeah.
20:54I like to be free.
20:57Yeah, y'all real free.
20:59I be out here butt naked all the time.
21:01Really?
21:02We might have some friends with benefits or some playmates or something out there.
21:08Y'all got some other friends?
21:12Some of y'all, um, y'all, are they partners, mates?
21:21I mean, I just want to call them the right name.
21:23Well, don't call them nothing when you meet them.
21:25Just their names.
21:27I'm just saying.
21:30I mean, do you want to meet somebody?
21:33Like, if I was to have a third and I brought them to you,
21:36how would you want me to introduce them?
21:38I guess you would introduce them as who they are,
21:40but I think maybe, like, tell me later on the side that that's, like,
21:44you and Joe's third person or your other, your third person.
21:52You're struggling with the word.
21:53Yeah.
21:54I mean, okay, and then when you do that, when you have your third person.
21:59For a polyamorous relationship, it's going to be many people.
22:01Oh, y'all going to have more than one more extra person?
22:04Y'all going to have a fourth, fifth, and sixth?
22:07Yes.
22:10My ideal is to have, like, three other women and, like, one other male.
22:18Myisha is an attention seeker.
22:20She loves a lot of attention.
22:21She always has.
22:23Loves being different.
22:24She likes to be different.
22:26Jesus help me, Holy Ghost.
22:28So my concern would be if Joe had a child with other people
22:34and Myisha's not the biological mother,
22:37she won't be who gets the most attention.
22:40Don't you think about, Athee, that when we get ready to die
22:43and have judgment day, that we got to be judged for the stuff that we do?
22:47Yeah, don't you got to be judged for the stuff that you do?
22:50Yeah.
22:51Your sin ain't no different from my sin.
22:53I know, but, I mean, we can correct them and fix them.
22:56We can repent, too.
22:58I think that everything that they're asking should have been asked a long time ago.
23:02They said shit that hurt my feelings,
23:04and I was just kind of like, damn, y'all supposed to be my number one supporter
23:07no matter what it is that I do.
23:09If it's three of y'all plus two more and another one, that's a lot of people.
23:16Okay.
23:17Everybody won't live here, will they?
23:19In this house?
23:20Well, I mean.
23:21They can have their own damn tiny home out here.
23:23It's 24 fucking acres.
23:25But when you, well, okay, if that's the case,
23:28who's going to get the time with who and when?
23:32Like, having sex?
23:34Yeah.
23:35One day I might have sex with Joe, and then the next day I might have sex with Jimmy.
23:39Keisha might slide in one day and then Heather come along the next.
23:42Like, it's a polyamorous relationship.
23:45It's just however it works.
23:47Well, I don't want nobody else knocking at my door at the treehouse
23:50because I'm not in the poly.
23:52They're not going to knock on your door to be like,
23:54hey, Vicky, you trying to have some sex with me?
23:57What if they have sex?
24:00What if they have children with him?
24:02Them going to be your kids, too.
24:03You know that, right?
24:04Them your grandkids.
24:05No, them not.
24:06Yes, they are.
24:07They not.
24:09If I bring another woman into this relationship and we are a three-way couple
24:14and she has children with him, those are my children, too.
24:17They're your grandkids.
24:19That's to you they are.
24:21If that's the case, you're not going to have no treehouse out here then.
24:23Oh.
24:26Well.
24:29So eventually we'll just have a whole homestead of everybody
24:32just being one big happy family.
24:34Yep.
24:37But with that being said, I just said trusting each other
24:42and knowing that you got each other's back, I guess that is the main thing.
24:47You got my back.
24:48Know your boundaries.
24:49And knowing your boundaries because that's like a boundary.
24:52All right.
24:53Yeah.
24:54I love my daughter, and as long as she's happy and she's safe,
24:58that's the important thing to me.
25:00That being said, I would love for her and Joe to have their own child first
25:08versus him having children with someone else.
25:12But if she can't have her own children, the love would still be there for the child.
25:19I need a favor.
25:21What's that?
25:22I need, when you go into town, for you to drop this off for Joe.
25:26What is that?
25:27It's his sperm.
25:30We had to check his sperm count.
25:32Can you take it into town to drop it off for us?
25:34Ain't that some shit.
25:37Can you take it to jail?
25:38Well, how did you just wait to decide when I come to visit
25:41that I got to be the sperm drop off?
25:43Because you going back into town.
25:44I can't hold that in my hand.
25:47Y'all get a bag.
25:48I haven't seen it.
25:49Put it in there.
25:50Y'all asking a lot of y'all damn mama.
25:52This is a lot.
25:55Just turn around.
25:56Turn around.
25:58Just roll it up.
25:59Just roll it up.
26:00Give it to Terry because I, y'all doing too damn much.
26:03Terry, it's time to go.
26:06We been here long enough.
26:08Y'all got me now.
26:09I'm just done.
26:11I don't need no help to get down.
26:12I don't want to be touching your ass, boy.
26:14Touch your ass.
26:16I can get down.
26:17Terry saw the cup.
26:18She said, all of this was from one time?
26:22Maybe it's the off-grid lifestyle that gives you that extra.
26:25Mm.
26:26Mm.
26:27So.
26:29Bye, mama.
26:30Terry, let your window down so we can get some of these flies out of the car.
26:33Bitch.
26:34Bye, y'all.
26:35Bye.
26:36Bye.
26:37Just too much.
26:38They do too much up in the damn country.
26:48Hi, there.
26:50How are you?
26:51Good.
26:52How about you?
26:53Hanging in there.
26:54Julie has been out here for several weeks, and winter is coming, and that is beyond harsh
26:59out here.
27:00I'm glad to see you.
27:01It's starting to get pretty chilly.
27:03Yes, it is.
27:05In the wintertime, most of the wintertime, there's a lot of snow.
27:08It's a lot of snow.
27:09It's a lot of snow.
27:10It's a lot of snow.
27:11It's a lot of snow.
27:12It's a lot of snow.
27:13It's a lot of snow.
27:14It's a lot of snow.
27:15It's a lot of snow.
27:16In the wintertime, most of our time and effort is spent on gathering wood, splitting wood,
27:21stacking wood, and basically keeping warm.
27:24It's definitely something I'm going to need Julie's help with.
27:33So you're going to want some baked goods this time.
27:36I hope you got pies, cinnamon rolls, something.
27:43My friend Drake and I have a pretty good arrangement.
27:46He brings us wood, and then for part of the payment for the wood, we have a barter system.
27:51And then I'm multiplying them logs time, too.
27:55You getting excited for this weekend?
27:58Yes.
27:59We're trying to get stuff ready.
28:02How many tractors are you taking down?
28:04There will be 20, 25 tractors there, I suppose.
28:09Nice.
28:10I hope I brought enough food.
28:12I got burgers and chili, and I'll have some cupcakes.
28:18And we'll have coffee, because you know coffee's important.
28:21Yeah.
28:23Richard Drake is also in charge of the event that I'm going to be having my food truck at this coming weekend.
28:29It's an antique tractor pull.
28:32Richard?
28:33Yes?
28:34Do you mind if I get up there?
28:35Well, jump right up there.
28:36Be careful, baby.
28:38This is the first winter out here on the homestead without my boys.
28:42Between getting the firewood and splitting that, and then my food truck event coming up,
28:47and then on top of that, trying to get Jolie up to speed with everything,
28:51it's going to be a lot before winter gets here.
28:54How you doing, Jolie?
28:56I'm good.
28:57Thank you, baby.
28:58You're welcome.
28:59That's why today my sons, Taryn and Dagan, will be coming out here from Iowa.
29:05And they're going to be helping me guide Jolie in all the basics of what we need to do to get ready for a winter.
29:12Thank you, guys.
29:14Yep, you betcha.
29:16Well, this is really nice, and the boys will be back here soon,
29:19and they'll help me get this all split up, and Jolie's going to help me split it and stack it.
29:24Get it stacked and ready to go. It's ready to go.
29:27My main concern is that my boys give Jolie a shot.
29:30I know that they have high hopes that this works out,
29:34but I also know that they know how hard it is out here.
29:37Bring me pie.
29:38Thank you, sir.
29:39I told you, double next time.
29:40And I'll see you on this weekend, right?
29:41Okay.
29:42Between that and the relationships they've seen me be in in the past,
29:46there's going to be some reservations they have.
29:48See you, guys.
29:49Bye.
29:53I just hope that they give her a fair shake as a brand new, whole person
29:58that could actually make it out here with me and someone that their mom could be happy with.
30:05♪♪♪
30:17This part always takes the longest.
30:18Mm-hmm.
30:19Just waiting for them to get down this road.
30:23So I've met Jennifer's boys once before, but we didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other.
30:27But I'm really excited for them to come out here and to see what we're doing together
30:32and just get to know them better.
30:37Oh, they're back up.
30:38He doesn't even want to wait.
30:39He loves to play chicken with cars.
30:44Yo.
30:48My baby.
30:49Long time no see.
30:51How you doing?
30:52Oh, my baby.
30:55How we going?
30:56I missed you guys.
30:58Missed you too, Mama.
31:00Oh, it's so nice to see you.
31:02How you doing?
31:03Good. How are you?
31:04I'm good. Good.
31:05Good.
31:07I always love coming back to see my mom because it's very obvious how much she misses us.
31:11And, I mean, we, of course, we miss her just the same,
31:14but she always makes us feel very welcome when we come back home.
31:21Okay, guys.
31:22We're going to have, like, a game plan on what we're going to do while you guys are here.
31:27My boys don't know Jolie very well at all,
31:29so them coming out here today is going to give them an excellent opportunity to get to know each other
31:34and for Jolie to experience what life is like out here on the homestead for me and my boys.
31:40The things I think that we need to deal with first is the yurts.
31:44The winds have bust out the whole east side.
31:47The goat pen.
31:48I just don't want to have to dig snow out like we have in the past
31:51and end up with goats and chickens free-ranging in the living room again.
31:55Tomorrow, also, I'm going to be getting ready for the food truck event,
31:58and this is the first event that I've had all year because you guys have been gone,
32:03so, you know, I kind of have not done as much food truck,
32:06but I really think that those are the most important things, and splitting some wood.
32:11I can see how important the boys are to Jennifer,
32:13and I can see how important this homestead is that she's building,
32:16and I feel like it puts the pressure on me to make sure that I do everything that I need to do
32:21to prove to the boys that I am the right person to be out here to do these tasks with their mom
32:25and to be on the land.
32:27We only have a certain amount of time that you guys are going to be here,
32:30so, what do you think?
32:31Oh, yeah.
32:32That's a good place to jump off at.
32:33I'm sure we'll knock all those out in no time.
32:36Yeah.
32:37Cool.
32:38Sounds like a plan.
32:39I'm so glad you guys are here.
32:40I'm glad we're here too.
32:41I'm going to go in. I'm getting a little chilly.
32:42Great.
32:43Sounds good.
32:44Yeah?
32:45Sounds good.
32:46I am really excited about the boys getting here.
32:48I'm still a little bit nervous about how everybody's going to get along.
32:53And they're only coming out here from Iowa for a week,
32:55so it's going to be a lot for Jolie to learn in that short amount of time.
32:59I hope it's not overwhelming for Jolie.
33:02Oh, it looks so nice in here.
33:04True.
33:05Did some rearranging.
33:19Did you see I put the little flag up so you can put it across this little opening
33:23to signify that you're working?
33:25I did.
33:26Thank you for doing that.
33:27Of course.
33:28There's no shortage of things to do around here,
33:31but when it comes to mice, we have to take that seriously.
33:34Remember where we put the traps?
33:36Um, one over there.
33:40Yeah.
33:41And that one's clean.
33:42It's not easy living off-grid,
33:44and I think it's important that I continue to push her out of her comfort zone.
33:49I don't know how she's going to do with it.
33:51I hope she's going to do well.
33:53I'm looking at that one.
33:55Which one?
33:56That one.
33:57There's a dead mouse over there.
33:59I'm, like, shaking.
34:04Rodents really gross me out.
34:06However, I personally believe that all forms of life deserve that respect,
34:13that they are also a part of the grand scheme of life.
34:17All you've got to do is take it from the bottom,
34:20and then bring it out, and we'll bury it.
34:23Yeah, but I don't know about picking that up.
34:25You're not picking the mouse up.
34:26You're just picking the trap up.
34:27Yeah.
34:28And you just slide it.
34:29I know.
34:30Every sentient being, in my opinion, has the right to live.
34:33Even though we're talking about mice, I still see them as sentient beings.
34:37So, in my mind, I'm like, I wouldn't want to be baited with peanut butter and killed.
34:43All right.
34:44So, this is your time to shine.
34:49Look, it won't hurt you.
34:50It's dead.
34:51I know.
34:52It's not going to hurt me.
34:53It's dead.
34:58Just grab it.
34:59Don't look at it.
35:00I can't.
35:01I can't.
35:02I get it.
35:03I didn't want to kill mice when I got here, either.
35:06They look too cute.
35:07Like, they have these big, fluffy ears and, like, peeking out at me.
35:10I was like, dude, you've got to leave.
35:11But because of the danger that mice bring, you know, disease and the snakes, like, we can't allow them to be here.
35:20Like, they have to go.
35:22There's a dustpan right here.
35:27Okay, what about a broom?
35:32Here.
35:33Here's a stick.
35:36Whew.
35:39Oh, my gosh.
35:42It's eyes.
35:47Ryan.
35:48Yeah?
35:49I'm right here.
35:54Oh, my gosh.
35:56Oh, my gosh.
36:01I have to face my fears if I want to make this work here with Ryan.
36:05I think that I would rather be dealing with dirty garbage instead of the mice, though.
36:11Okay.
36:19There you go.
36:20You're almost there.
36:23Perfect.
36:24Okay.
36:25All right.
36:30I just don't want to look at it.
36:32I feel like a murderer.
36:34You're not murdering it.
36:35I set the trap.
36:36How about right here?
36:38Right underneath the flag.
36:41Okay, I'm going to...
36:50There's the hole.
36:52You've got to get into the hole through the trap.
36:56I don't know if I can do this, babe.
36:59Oh.
37:01Come on.
37:06I don't want to see the body poop.
37:08Okay.
37:09Just close your eyes, get that silver thing, and pull it.
37:19Okay.
37:20You got this.
37:21You're almost there.
37:22Yep.
37:23Now pull.
37:24Now shake.
37:25There you go.
37:26You got it.
37:27Okay.
37:28There you go.
37:29Yep, yep, yep.
37:30Now take that blue thing, put it right in there.
37:33There you go.
37:34Take the dustbin, put the mouse in the hole.
37:36Bam!
37:37Good job.
37:38Okay.
37:39I really appreciate Ryan encouraging me.
37:42However, we see things very differently, and I need to take a second to kind of reconcile and get my head on straight.
37:50We're sorry we took your life, and hope that you peacefully transition and turn into nice nutrients for the soil.
38:03I see Shayla overcoming a lot, and she's getting stronger every time.
38:08That was hard to watch for me, so I think that's my job.
38:11I think I'm going to take care of the mice from now on.
38:15I want to wash my hands.
38:16Let's go inside.
38:19Okay.
38:36I'm just happy you're here, Marty.
38:38Well, I am too.
38:39So what is going on?
38:41Are you settled?
38:42No, definitely not.
38:43Are you guys?
38:44It's just the whole thing of building.
38:47Marty is Charlie's sister.
38:49She's my really good friend.
38:51She and I stayed in touch after Charlie and I split.
38:54And Marty and her husband live in South Carolina, but they are planning to move back to North Carolina to the mountain.
39:03So, are the boys having fun?
39:05You know, being that they're so, they're city-fied instead of country-fied.
39:11I think it's hard to know on one trip.
39:15You know, they do love Charlie, but they miss their karate and jiu-jitsu, their friends.
39:20You know, it's all that.
39:22I want to talk to Marty and Peggy just to sort of get out some of my thoughts.
39:26I don't want them running wild in my mind.
39:28What's going on?
39:29You know, I'm not here to put Charlie down, but the whole point of getting back together was that we would be married.
39:34Like, that's the decision we made from the very beginning.
39:37We weren't going to just date.
39:39Both Charlie and I have to go through a process to get to this place where we can really, you know, be solid in our decision.
39:47But what's just a little bit hard for me right now is we are talking and behaving as if we are to be married, period.
39:54Right.
39:55With Charlie, it's almost like the romance kind of got taken out of the idea of us being married.
40:02Not that that needs to be romantic. I know that sounds silly.
40:04No, it doesn't.
40:05Because we're moving into already doing it.
40:08It's like you're already married.
40:09It's like we're already married. Yeah, exactly.
40:15I kind of feel like the excitement and the novelty of coming and trying the mountain out or living with Charlie off-grid sort of settled into a routine.
40:23The focus is getting shifted onto my boys.
40:26Like, Charlie is talking about a future with the boys and a future with the boys on the mountain.
40:30And I just don't want our relationship and this whole thing to be kind of put on the back burner.
40:36Like, he's moving ahead kind of in a fast way.
40:43One thing that you want to remember, Jen, is to keep your eye on the goal.
40:48It all started with an old love rekindled.
40:53And we've got to keep fanning the flame because it'll bring you to the doldrums if you're not careful.
41:00Discouraged.
41:01Discouraged and kind of focusing on the struggle or the hard part of it.
41:06I'm feeling like now we're back together.
41:09And it's like you kind of just want to have your life together and move forward.
41:13So, for instance, Charlie's talked to the boys in a way like, okay, you guys are my legacy.
41:19I'm not going to have kids.
41:20He's already built that bridge with them.
41:23Oh, he has.
41:24A hundred percent.
41:25And he's committed to them, too.
41:27And I see that.
41:28It's not that I need the evidence.
41:30But it's like, where's the middle ground?
41:35I know that Charlie's been talking with the boys about this mountain being their legacy.
41:41And it just got me thinking because we're not married yet.
41:43And I wouldn't build a house with someone that I wasn't married to.
41:48Like, I think it's important to have that expression of the commitment for my boys to see.
41:53I had peace from the very beginning.
41:55Any reservations that would come my way, I was like, I felt really strongly, just trust this process.
42:01Don't overthink it and back out because of whatever your fear is.
42:06But we're not really officially committed to being married.
42:10To me, it's a matter of the natural progression of our relationship, especially when he's talking with the boys this way.
42:17And he's saying all these things to me, but why isn't he doing something about it?
42:22I love Charlie.
42:23And I have grown to love this place.
42:25And it's wonderful.
42:27I do feel like I am sacrificing a lot, my way of life, being away from my family.
42:33And then now it's turning into my kids will be sacrificing a lot.
42:38He's not asked me to marry him.
42:40I don't have a ring on my finger to show my kids.
42:43So I'm kind of like, I tend to pull back.
42:45It's like, Charlie, what are you doing?
42:48Like, what are you waiting for?
42:50If Charlie never proposed to me, I would leave.
42:54Because I deserve to be married.
42:56Number one, no doubt in my mind that Charlie wants to marry you and be with you.
43:01I see a difference, too, from way back.
43:04Oh, yeah.
43:05How he's growing with those boys.
43:07There is no doubt it's Jennifer.
43:08Jennifer's the one.
43:10And I think Jen will probably be shocked on what's the horizon.
43:14I think so.
43:15Their love story's amazing.
43:17It is.
43:18You know, it really is.
43:19But what is he waiting for?
43:20We should be moving forward into something else.
43:24I am traditional.
43:26And so I kind of find myself wondering how long do I keep moving forward with this plan of establishing our life together without a solid commitment from him.
43:40I don't know what the answer to that is.
43:53I don't know what the answer to that is.