Love Off The Grid S02E08 (2024)
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00:00You
00:30Um Lauren snapped at my isha and
00:38You don't offend my queen so she was uh asked to leave
00:46It's definitely disappointing
00:49She was a sweet girl
00:51She checked off a lot of our boxes, but clothes don't count. I
00:55Don't know if it was the pressure or the lack of creature comforts, but eventually there was a straw that broke the camel's back
01:07Last night I
01:09You know did the shuffle from the couch to the bed back to the couch just couldn't get comfortable
01:15I was on the edge of the bed hanging on by a thread
01:20Eventually just slept on the floor on their plywood floor I
01:25Was laying there trying to sleep my isha went to the restroom. I guess which is outside in a separate building and
01:32Turned all the lights on she was out there for a long time, so I cut the lights off
01:37I didn't realize that by doing that I cut the lights outside off
01:42I thought I was just cutting the lights inside off, so they wouldn't be in my face now. You know I'm scared
01:48Yeah, oh, yeah, we're in the middle fucking nowhere right the lights are on I go out
01:52I go to the bathroom
01:54You know I'm chilling and then I stick my head out of the bath house as I'm getting ready to come back in and I'm
01:59Like what the fuck is it so dark out here?
02:02So then I get in the house, and I'm like I know I left some light on somewhere over here on this side
02:06And it's dark
02:08So I just opened the door and I'm like
02:11Did you cut the light off?
02:13It's just I did that's just rude you left the light on I hadn't slept in hours
02:17And I'm like it's rude that you cut my nightlight off
02:20I just tried to politely
02:23voice my concern about her attitude in the middle of the night and that I hadn't gotten any sleep and
02:30She was very aggressive
02:32She was tripping all of that
02:35You're a mean mean girl
02:38So I was just over it, and I just was like you know what?
02:42You a high-maintenance spoiled ass bitch
02:44My you should call me high maintenance. I'm spoiled she called me a bootleg ass bitch
02:49I don't even know what that means it went from zero to a hundred in an instant
02:54She was and you this and you that and you you mean cunt, and I'm like
03:00Well, I mean you can leave
03:02Get the fuck off my property and
03:05Starts like pushing me out the door grabbing my stuff like basically my bag got thrown on the porch
03:13Stuff dumped all over my clothes
03:15For
03:17Once in my life, I have something that's actually mine, and I could be like get your ass out of my shit
03:25Bye
03:28You say it
03:30Disappointed more than anything she was a cool girl cool chick
03:35Fun conversations, but
03:38But like do you understand like my side? Oh absolutely yeah, I understand absolutely what you're saying
03:44But yeah, I just felt like she was real high maintenance
03:46And she was asking for a whole bunch of stuff, and we was gonna give it to her
03:50But we can't give it to her tomorrow. It wasn't gonna happen all right. We told her we'd give her everything yeah, I
03:56Don't think she understood that though
03:59Compromise
04:02They say they want a third person living out here, but they do not have
04:07Like the facilities to host a third person it even a friend anything like there's nowhere to sleep
04:13I'm gonna be honest. I don't have space out here for a girly girl
04:16I don't have space out here for somebody that's gonna be bougie and demanding something every five to ten minutes like I came
04:21From the city and adjusted just fine
04:24I was pooping in the fucking woods, and then in a bucket. I slept in a tent like
04:28If you can't do something and compromise somewhere you don't need to be out here
04:33You don't need to be out here. It just really sucks right now like
04:40It hurt to hear that Joe, it's not a priority for him to get a new couch or a new bed
04:46It's not right like I really was considering this to be a potential home for me
04:53It may just go back to her
04:55You know that was our first positive relationship, right?
04:58So she just does it, but that's in any relationship
05:01Not just Polly you got to understand in any relationship. That's gonna be give take you
05:07Nothing, but she was trying to take everything
05:10It was a lot after the way she treated me today. I don't know that we will ever speak again
05:18It sucks, but we'll still found somebody
05:21Not a equal
05:23Whatever you want
05:25She failed the test there will never be another clean
05:30Never
05:32Next time the next bitch gonna have to meet me in the middle cuz this shit ridiculous
05:37Yeah, trying to accommodate other people you giving everything and they ain't trying to give nothing
05:43She ultimately didn't fit we parted ways as adults and
05:49We're back to looking for someone else
05:52That's a no for me
05:54Hard no
06:06These are red and green on the same bush, so it's one more right there's a jalapenos. What's with the red?
06:18The mountain gives and a mountain takes away
06:20You know like the rain come and destroy the campsite, but in turn it gave water to the garden that we have look for
06:28middle finger size like this
06:31Dang, that's huge. That's a baby. That is a very big middle finger
06:37It's nice to kind of be alone
06:40Mm-hmm I agree
06:43Being away from the boys is a much a needed
06:47Experience
06:49For Jen and I because you know there's a lot going on so it puts Jen and I back together and a little peacefulness
06:56You look really
06:58Really nice with your little basket
07:01Mm-hmm I like it I
07:04Love Charlie, and I love the idea of us building our life here
07:08But I'm protective of my boys and my boys are my heart how much corn we have about six
07:14Sense enough for everybody well, I see yeah, okay, I felt like okay
07:19This is gonna work the boys seem happy and then the storm hits literally takes out everything
07:25This makes me scared because we don't really have a good situation for this to work for me and the boys
07:33See rainbow
07:35Yeah, it means the storms coming Wow God we like we need another storm. I mean that was
07:43That was a lot to deal with a storm like that out there intense
07:48That was my issue in the first place. I was not completely comfortable with them sleeping out there by themselves
07:54Well, it's not a bear. Well. It was bad. Nothing actually ended up happened terrible, but it could have I
08:02Get that you want them to experience the mountain and live in the tents and and know do all these things
08:08But Maddox and current were out there and like I don't want them to feel pushed into this like this is Charlie
08:13His world so this is my world now, you know
08:16Justice wasn't gonna go back out into that storm if you'd had your opportunity to probably kept all of them in there
08:22Left me out there by myself
08:24well, I
08:26Mean if they all fit and they wanted to be in there. I mean, it's just more risky kind of coddling
08:33Okay, well anyways just kidding kinda I
08:38Think Jen might coddle the boys just a little bit
08:42More than she needs to and now after this storm, I think Jim
08:47I believe this mountain might be a little bit too much for her and the boys
08:50So I just need her to trust me that everything's gonna be okay. I
08:55Just want them, you know
08:57It's uncomfortable to be on the mountain. It's uncomfortable to have to go chop firewood. There's something that you need
09:03It's uncomfortable to saw trees out of the road. It's uncomfortable to have to go up and fix the water you experienced that
09:09Thank God for a current and Maddox the ten survived the tarp didn't survive right but the tent survived
09:17The tens were dry
09:19after all that rain and all that wind believable and
09:24for me to see
09:26Them face those challenges whether it's a storm or a bear or a snake under a rock or whatever it is
09:32It may be uncomfortable, but it's necessary
09:35That is a hard
09:38Position for me to just be like, okay, it's not in my nature to do that. I didn't grow up in the mountains
09:44I'm not out there wanting to like I don't want to go like fight the storm
09:48I still feel protective of them
09:51Like I feel concerned than being out in the tents and in a rainstorm like that, right?
09:56I get I get that but here's an here's here's the other side of looking at it
10:00We're always the explanation of the turtle in the log
10:03Turtle comes up to log. He can try to cross over he can go around it
10:07But you don't want him to turn around and go back because he's got to make it to the water
10:10That's where his life source is and with these young men. You're their scapegoat. Yeah
10:16And I'm their log
10:19okay, and I hear exactly what you're saying and then there's still the
10:23Reality of I'm their mom. And so on you know, I my nature is to protect them
10:30If I don't want to cuddle them they're men growing into men
10:35but I
10:37Don't know how I don't know how
10:40Just a little bit of compromising
10:45Just a little
10:48Maybe when I suggest something maybe let them answer first
10:53Instead of answering because you want to protect them. I
10:57I think that would be a hard one. I mean I
11:03Just don't know how that's gonna all play out exactly I
11:07Want to be that person that's like life is full of unknowns
11:10I can trust it the challenge for me is that I've had these four
11:15People in my life since they were infants needing me to take care of them and protect them
11:20And so to switch out of that it's not natural each day is a new day
11:25It's still to me there's still you know, it's I'm still nerve-wracking. Yep. The mountains nerve-wracking
11:34Yeah
11:43Half size logs probably your best bet to get started with okay
11:48Just get a little closer to it'll get some more downward momentum
11:52All right
11:55While my boys are here this time
11:57It's really important for them to teach
11:59Jolie all the things that they would help me out with when you come down on your piece of wood
12:04Look for where it's already split. All right
12:10Thank you, there are so many things that I start in the middle of summer or winter
12:16So in order to get all of those tasks done by the end of October, which is what it needs to be done
12:22It's best to divide and conquer
12:24so
12:26You're not here to live with my lovely mother. I am. Yes. Yes
12:32What are you most worried about
12:36Just temperature regulation for myself
12:38I think one thing I have learned about your mom is that when it comes to what she needs to get done
12:44She has her list. She has stuff like that. She's very much micromanaging
12:49Jennifer and I had our first issue in our relationship the other day when we were working at the tractor pole
12:54You could stand out here and take money. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Sure
13:00Okay, well, okay we can wait on taking any more. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought she was waiting to pay
13:06We discussed some of the issues that came up
13:08During the event and I really think that it's a good idea that if we're gonna work together that we have an open line of
13:14Communication I've just been too independent for too long. This is how I'm working on it. I got you, you know, I know
13:21She's so much of just to get it done herself kind of person that I
13:25Need her to know that I'm here for these tasks and not to not to feel like an irritant
13:31It's gonna be a few challenges they're gonna be coming your way
13:36it's gonna be very hard for her to uh
13:40Share a lot of herself with you. Just given her past relationships and stuff like that
13:45I've noticed with things in the past when she does something for herself that
13:50She feels very proud of and somebody doesn't help her achieve it if it's like a life partner or a business partner
13:58What have you like?
14:00things can get pretty bad just like
14:03Emotions rise and like, you know things are said that aren't meant to be said and I
14:08Think one of the best ways to help her out with that is if you're serious about this just make sure you communicate
14:14So that there's no like issues that arise later on
14:20My mom's a very strong-headed lady and she needs somebody who's also equally as strong-headed as her
14:27I'm worried for her to get into any relationship in general just because
14:31She has gone through a lot of really really crappy situations in the past and I wouldn't want to see her get her heart broken
14:38Again, it's hard for me to be like, hey, you know, we're in this together. I'm here to help you
14:44Yeah, I think that's part of her past, too
14:47It's a whole nother level of of hard when you're considering she's out in this Arctic desert, you know
14:54preparing for winter right now and
14:57This is definitely a do-or-die time for Jolie to prove herself
15:03One of the things I can tell you guys is that I'm I'm
15:07I'm not here to bullshit with your mom. Like it's not a game for me
15:10I'm constantly showing up to help the hard thing for me is when she doesn't want help. Mm-hmm
15:17I
15:18Tend to put myself aside
15:22Sometimes when I'm doing things or I'm focusing on something I tend to kind of focus on me last
15:27So I usually don't feel the effects of it for a couple of weeks and then I'm like, hey
15:34You need to open your mouth and say something
15:36So she needs somebody who can help her out on the homestead, but she also has that kind of
15:43Um
15:45Reservations towards letting somebody help her. I understand that. Yeah
15:49I've been feeling a lot of
15:52The listen to what she wants and I need to I think be a little more active on
15:59Communicating what I want as well. Maybe that's where I'm lacking some
16:03My future is your mom and if this is where your mom is then
16:07This is where I'm gonna be helping your mom and that's because I love her as long as she keeping my mom
16:12Happy like put in the effort put in the other. That's all. That's all we're really looking for. Yeah, here I am
16:19I'm doing really well showing up for her needs. I feel like it's gonna be a rough winter this year. So
16:25I'll be here. I really hope that we can get to a place where my needs are also met in this relationship
16:32We'll be just piling on blankets and thermals and making big fires and some cooking and baking going for the oven to warm
16:40Up the house. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Any excuse to cook bacon?
16:57Runea coast leaves their daughter and kind of leaves a little time for us to really have
17:03Personal time just the two of us. She is willing to make some changes to help me be more comfortable
17:08But Runea didn't really seem open to the idea of creating an expansion on her home
17:13So I feel like building a new structure could be a compromise where we can have a little more living space
17:19For the two of us to have some privacy
17:22It's something that's already being built
17:24He's got a platform already constructed. It's a little bit weathered, but it could be a good foundation
17:31I'm really excited to show Runea my plans
17:34It's really weird to wake up and see Samuel working outside
17:38Hey, Runea, you're out working
17:41Yeah, check it out
17:43It's nice
17:45He's out there finally doing something weeks later. I
17:48See you're already building. So I'm like, okay
17:51You got the tools out like
17:54When you build something out here, it's gonna be there forever. So it's kind of like, okay, you know, this is mean
18:01You know, this is mean he's like decided to stay here like
18:06We're talking about building a little space so you can I can have some privacy and guy can have her space and in your your house
18:13Yeah, this is a love shack, but there's also like is he doing it the right way?
18:20Is he keeping in mind that I don't have unlimited resources?
18:24You have a pretty much solid floor already. There's only you know, this one piece missing but I found this board
18:31Yeah, it fits right here. Mm-hmm. And have we really agreed on what we're actually doing with the space?
18:38It's hard for me to kind of like go and be like, oh, yeah, you do your own thing
18:43For the walls and the roof who might need some, you know beefier parts
18:47It's not it's not gonna be free. You know some things we're gonna have to buy
18:52When you say we have to buy like what do you mean exactly?
18:56Like I don't have any income right now and neither do you
19:01I'm looking at options. I get my income. I might have to travel for work
19:06When you're saying you're looking at options like what do you mean exactly I
19:11Mean, I have a network opportunity coming up where I can
19:14You know find people who are building
19:16Not in this immediate area, but around the East Coast
19:21The East Coast
19:24You didn't tell me that you have
19:26Opportunities coming up in the East Coast. That's not like
19:29Anywhere in Missouri. I have to come somehow, you know
19:35Living out here. You really don't I mean like we're not coming out here to like make money. This isn't like a money-making
19:42Project nowhere in the conversation was there a piece about you going off for a week following your career
19:49You know, I'm not looking for like a part-time
19:52Off-grid lover like I'm looking for a person who's gonna be here with me morning tonight
19:58Being by my side like that's what I don't know
20:02So rather me have me gone for a week about me gone
20:06Forever first, it's a week then it's a fucking a month then it's three months. It's always longer
20:11I asked you all these things
20:13I asked you like are you willing to give up your life to like come out here and do this thing with me?
20:18Like you don't see I'm giving up so much just to come out here and stay with you
20:22Yeah, but just going right back to that life is not going back to my life. I'm just going
20:28I'm willing to be here one weekend alone. Like just don't see how I can
20:33build a homestead here together, but also
20:37Let me travel to find works to make it better for us
20:39And I don't think that you get it. Like I don't think that you understand. I'm living off-grid homestead lifestyle alone
20:46It's not fucking easy, you know
20:48Like every season there are things that have to get done and it's like if you're gonna be gone for two weeks
20:52Like that's all falls on me
20:54I'm not saying if I step foot off this property then it's like we're done
20:58I'm saying that I don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who's gonna be like, oh, yeah
21:01I'm going on a trip again. Like that's not what I want. Like I don't want that
21:06And that's the other thing is like you just say these things to me. I'm being led on all the time, you know
21:11It's like oh, it's just one week
21:12Oh, you know just wait like one year and then I'll come out like oh just do this and then it's like it never happens
21:17Like I don't want to be here alone waiting for you
21:20Like I don't want to be doing that if you're not willing to commit to being here
21:24Then like just fucking get your shit and leave like I don't know what to tell you
21:27This is like not what we agreed on like this is not
21:31It feels like I've given up so much to be here with Arunia and
21:37I want to do all the things to help keep the homestead going but
21:42Arunia isn't as excited as I was hoping she would be and my plans and
21:47expanding our living space and I
21:51Think it's completely possible that I can
21:54You know, I can't wait for her to be here. I can't wait for her to be here
21:58I think it's completely possible that I can
22:01Travel for work and have a safety net and funds for additions and still have a home here
22:09But it feels like it's everything or nothing for Arunia. I feel like she is
22:17afraid I'm just gonna leave and
22:19Never come back, but I'm really seeing this as something for the both of us
22:27I
22:45Got a deer this morning big one. No, I
22:50Got him quartered up. I brought a little bit. He's in the backpack. Oh nice Aaron's visiting today
22:57after shooting a deer this morning, and so
23:00He thinks he can find some mushrooms out on the property
23:03So we're gonna see what we can find and cook us up a gourmet lunch
23:07I'm still you know survey in the site for the main house in a couple years
23:12So sweet you can kill two birds with one stone kill two stones with one bird
23:17So there you go get real stone with two birds. Yeah, I
23:20Haven't talked to Joe in a while and you know, I just kind of want to know what's going on
23:26Everybody wants to know what's going on. It's it's an interesting situation
23:31Mushroom bags you want to use something that has holes in it spread the spores around so that you can find them again next year
23:38Yeah, that makes sense at first. I started to think that when
23:43He's talking about bringing on all these girls. It might be a pipe dream
23:47But the more I see it starting to come together
23:50I mean it could actually happen the Blues will be most likely and get lucky with some lines, man
23:57However, the stress of a third person in the relationship. There's a lot that could go wrong or a lot that could go very right
24:05Stop look there. They are. Oh nice
24:08nice
24:11Not bad, yeah, I got one right here nice. Yeah a little broken. That's okay. Aren't we all?
24:20So I
24:22Am naturally curious. Are these girls still just coming to visit or what's the deal?
24:26You still doing it or do you have any other prospects in mind?
24:29I mean Lauren didn't work out, but we still have a couple young ladies interested in joining the property in one manner or another
24:37sounds a
24:38very very expensive
24:43It can be sustainable
24:45Aaron always has a lot of questions about this Polly lifestyle, and I don't blame him
24:50Every Polly relationship is different. Here's a good spot as any plenty of wood around. Yeah, let's do it here
24:56I got into polyamory in college when I was the bull for some couples the first
25:01Benefit at that age was I was 21 dating
25:07much older women
25:08just a wealth of wisdom and
25:11Maturity that's when I discover. I'm just gonna build my own tribe
25:15Because when I was 22 years old, I would have loved to have found someone like me now so I could
25:22Live with him learn what he's doing and then save up for my own little homestead. I
25:30Mean in what little experience I have with two ladies at the same time
25:37Maybe not at the same time, but
25:41I don't have any I
25:44Heard Lauren had an issue
25:47Because there was a huge meltdown
25:52Any human being bringing a third person into the situation, you know people are gonna be territorial people are gonna be
25:59Intimidated or self-conscious, you know, there's a there's a lot of variables involved here and I could see the three
26:06People not having enough room in that
26:09In that in that bed
26:11Girls have emotions. Yes, period. Yeah, and those are gonna get involved, especially when you're
26:18mixing in
26:20mysterious lady parts
26:22The only issue so far facing us
26:26And it has been for a couple
26:28potential homesteaders
26:30is just an expectation of
26:33things already being done and
26:36Not the willingness to build and yeah and to help build yeah not being there for
26:41The ground floor. I got you. You can't handle me in my worst. You can't have me in my best
26:48Something like that. All right, I
26:53Can barely handle one woman and all of her
26:56personalities let alone two women
26:59It's way too much drama for me
27:02It's not that I'm not for Polly it's that I question whether or not it can
27:06Actually work I can see how it could work with the right people with the right situation
27:12but
27:13What are the chances you're gonna get all those things to come together?
27:19Do you think my issue might be starting this stuff on purpose and running these girls off, you know, she's a strong woman
27:25she knows what she wants I mean, that's always a possibility, but
27:30She gets frustrated easier
27:33with the hunt
27:35Yeah, that's
27:37It's fair point
27:38My ish is picky. Yes, but it goes back to the property and
27:42Finding someone wise enough to understand the benefits of polyamory. Let's do the mushrooms. So take these and
27:50And
27:53Tear them into pieces like this. There's always the potential for a wedge
27:57to form between two people in a situation like this, I prefer to be on the right side and
28:05That is generally my issues. Oh
28:09Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was fucking delicious. I found a queen and
28:14And
28:15She'll shit in a bucket and sleep in plywood walls for me. We could find a third
28:21So it's my issue the one that ultimately decides whether one stays or goes
28:24I mean, we both have an ultimate veto. So she is the ultimate Queen I guess I mean for this next
28:32Partner, but then if we have a third and we eventually find a fourth then that third would have a veto as well
28:40That's fair. Oh
28:43My fucking Christ, that's perfect. Oh, yeah. Mmm mushrooms are really good
28:52Going back to square one sucks ass. I
28:56Mean, I've been talking to her for probably probably a year now. She and I first started talking just after my ish and I met
29:03We don't want
29:05Playmates forever. We want you know, our little household our little family
29:10Lauren didn't end up out here after
29:13Talking to her for this long. And if we have to start over, I mean that may be another year that we have to
29:20invest in someone
29:21but
29:23Ultimately, this won't deter our pursuits
29:26How you gonna find a fourth and a fifth if you can't even find a third that's putting the cart before the horse. Yeah
29:34Cross that bridge when you get there. Yeah
29:40Oh
29:45Let's leave it right here for right now, we'll cut it up later
29:50The boys are gonna be leaving here in a few days and current already left he had to get back he had things going on
29:59I think a twister came
30:03Everything
30:05So tonight my sister Marty and my cousin Jeremy are coming over for just a good old campfire got the chairs
30:14Thanks boys
30:19You know, we sat around campfires our whole life it's a warm reminder of a safe place
30:26Especially after a big storm like we had and so like a lot of other things that happened in my life
30:32That experience with that storm becomes a story around a campfire
30:38My pants are too big for me
30:41It's my repair
30:43No, these are hand-me-downs
30:52Sasquatch he can't hand them down to nobody else
30:56The
31:00Mountain is family. It's just our way of life. You know, it's a camaraderie and
31:07people loving each other I
31:09Have wonderful memories of being here during the time
31:13We were dating and I think the reason I love this place is I love the people and I loved the bonds that I had
31:20Created with Jeremy and Marty from way back when I was my kids age and now they're here with me
31:26Being around Jen and the boys, you know, it's just some blown away at how she's got men on her hands
31:32That's it's a lot of testosterone
31:35testosterone
31:39This was gonna burn good if we get it going
31:43Help my time it looks good. I
31:47Think the most impressive thing Jeremy is you
32:01For me is what it's all about family, especially when you sit by a fire like this to share different stories
32:07You know when you're young and and you know, you don't get this like in a big, you know
32:12You guys are from the city. This is a
32:15Big deal for y'all to be here right now. Yeah, this is what we do here. This is yeah, this is
32:21Literally what you do
32:22We have all all the things that we do all day long in the night. You don't run to a computer
32:28No run to your phone
32:30You don't run to social media
32:32you come and build a fire and
32:35Enjoy each other's company
32:37Build a relationship we went fishing and hunting grandpa never made white liquor. Yeah, that's what
32:46That's what we talked about later on the fire I
32:51Feel like way more connected to my family because you can't really like like what they were saying
32:55You can't just go off and just be on your phone and be secluded from everyone
32:58You have to talk you you have to be present. You can't you can't be in your own world here
33:03And I think that's why the family can come so close together
33:07You guys seen any bears since you've been here just one he's wearing a shirt he was wearing a shirt. He was
33:23The only person really with these boys been pretty good about the only person worried about bears is Jan
33:29She didn't like she had me sleep in the tent with him. Where were you at?
33:34Not in the tent
33:38There's no room for me in the tent. Oh, there's room if he can get it. I know you
33:47So boys, I mean we are y'all gonna come back you think I mean after this way
33:52I mean after y'all experience this week. What do you think so far? I mean justice?
33:57Yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, you know, I mean
34:03Mm-hmm
34:06You think you'll come back
34:08Yeah, maybe
34:10Well, maybe why not for sure? I
34:14Don't know I feel like I got homesick, I don't know that's okay. Yeah, that's very normal. Yeah
34:21Cuz your home is your home. It's like this is our home Florida's your home. Are you homesick to Tyrion?
34:29Yeah, I guess so
34:31And I guess I think the hardest thing has been
34:34With everything that we've done cuz we've done a pretty good bit of stuff here
34:39Your mom seems to think that it's been y'all being over there in the team
34:44No, I'd say it's probably just being away from all of my friends. You know, I don't yeah
34:53The whole point of getting the boys up here was to just give them a chance to hopefully like it enough to
34:59Want to come up here more often to visit me. I
35:03Thought that at least some of them were convinced about liking it up here, but now I'm not so sure I
35:12Have one more day with the boys here on the mountain and I need to know where they stand
35:16Because my future with Charlie depends on that
35:29Now
35:32That Lauren's gone, you know, I can focus 100% of my energy on doing what I need to do on the property. I got this home
35:41So if I see anything I'm gonna chop it up my bitch Carla came all the way from Atlanta to see me again
35:47It's great having her out here because I can talk to her about everything that's been going on with Lauren without any judgment
35:52All
35:55Right, so what am I hoeing so like we take the worms and we put them at the base of the fruit trees
36:02It was in that it's okay, okay
36:04We gotta hurry up and catch the worms or whatever. We're trying to do get the fuck up out of here
36:07Okay, we're gonna put them at the base of the fruit trees for fertilization. Yes what I'm out here working again
36:12Every time I come I and she's got me working. I'm like a worm right there. Yeah, I'll hold off. No you get it
36:19Digging up worms and stuff like this is not my forte. I don't know what is going on girl
36:23You all know what to do. I don't know what to do out here in these woods
36:36She asked for a little too much too fast
36:39Like she want to come out here. She wanted all to be her way
36:42Really? Yeah, cuz like, you know, we don't have everything out here. So yeah, I need a mirror
36:48Need a bigger bed out here. We need this we need that. No, my damn you ain't
36:54Second and you being kind of bullshit. So we finished with that shit
36:58Moving on. I thought Laura's gonna work out. She was a good fit
37:01She was really, you know good outside with Joe and you know, they hit it off
37:06But then it seemed like you turned the other way around
37:08So we was laying down we was sleeping or whatever
37:10I got up to go to the bathroom and I'm scared of the dark scared of the dark. Don't judge my life
37:16Listen you're out here in the middle of nowhere. That's different. It's a peace of mind. That's what you say
37:20It is in the daylight. And so I cut the light on to go to the bathhouse and
37:27Then I come out of the bathhouse and it's completely dark outside
37:32No light no nothing. So basically not respecting the boundaries
37:35She is not but you want everything you want, but you want to be disrespectful
37:41That's not really like a good fit for me
37:43I don't know. I think both of them was kind of being petty, you know to be honest, you know, I think it was like
37:50Like a ownership like, uh, you know, hey what I say goes or what you say goes, you know, I don't know
37:56But yeah, I just feel like she's not being respectful and I don't like shit like this
38:00But you think that's part of the poly life, right? No
38:03People make it out like poly is just so much different from being monogamous. No, it's just like having
38:09Multiple partners, but I still want the same respect as if I had one partner
38:13I want the same respect from both of them that just clearly wasn't registering to her. So I felt some type of way
38:25You can't cut it while it's wet you have to wait and then it will cut it and it'll behave for somebody animals so chill
38:32Oh
38:37There's a worm right there baby we got to get it who got it we do I get one you get one
38:43All right. Um, I'm gonna get it with this hoe. You're gonna pick it up with the hoe. Yeah
38:48Cuz I want to get my nails dirty girl. I listen. I'm not out here like this. This you you'll be all right
38:55Go ahead. Hold it out
38:57Spread it out. They're going where it's to
39:02What you gonna do?
39:05Come on down here. You don't need to hold now. Just get it. It's right there. Get that one. Just take your nail
39:17Girl you almost threw that motherfucker
39:22You put it in the damn bucket don't throw it
39:26So squirming shit. Oh, I don't know how you do it. So you just wake up and say I'm dig some worms
39:32No, I woke up and Joseph. I'm gonna dig some goddamn worms
39:36Is it mentally draining like for you to try to figure out all this stuff out here in the middle of?
39:42No fucking where and trying to figure out this poly lifestyle and trying to make a baby like it's a lot
39:48I mean, I would be so sad if he got somebody else pregnant and I don't wanna get nobody else pregnant before he get me
39:54Pregnant that's why I don't get it. That's why I'm asking. Are you sure you want to do this probably lifestyle?
39:59Seriously
40:02Running the girls off, you know, cuz they got to know that I'm the queen bitch type of shit
40:07I don't think I'm running them off. I'm definitely not jealous. I'm just cautious Lauren is a cool person individually
40:14I just feel like she's not a good fit for us. I feel like the right female that she heard me say
40:19I'm the queen bitch. She don't understand when she come in there. She ain't and that's fine. I understand that she loves Joe, whatever
40:27Joe does it's gonna make her happy. It makes him happy too. So come by y'all here in this woods and shit. Oh
40:36Why are they all bunched up together that's nasty look at oh, they're just one happy poly family
40:47Joe and I need to have a serious conversation
40:50Right now it's just a lot of stress and I think that I need a hundred percent of his attention. What's next?
40:56You gotta put the worms at the bottom of the tree. I'm tired. You're all right
41:00You just pump the brakes on finding the third until we at least you know are completely done with our house and then I can
41:06Get my baby
41:11Well, I'ma be and yo ass better come see me
41:17Watch out for the ant bed
41:26You
41:37Want to drive you want me to drive sure I want to drive. Oh, of course you want to drive
41:43Please go ma'am. Thank you. You're very welcome
41:49Jen and I have worked real hard getting projects done this week and it has been a
41:55Whirlwind
41:59All right, we're ready, yes, I believe we are
42:04The boys are here they're taking care of the homestead
42:07So Jen and I'll be going to the hot springs for date night
42:10Before I have to leave and go back to Albuquerque for a few days for a doctor's appointment
42:19It's so beautiful, it's like a perfect night
42:25I
42:27Really don't get much anymore since I moved out here. I don't get to do much of anything besides work
42:33It's my most favorite place in the valley
42:35So we travel to the hot springs because not only is it a break you get to kind of forget the hardships of being out
42:42On the homestead, but I don't have a shower on the property. We I haven't showered at my own house for six years
42:54Oh
43:01Thank you so much, thank you so much
43:10Here's to forever I
43:13Really am sad that Jolie has to leave but this would be a good way for us to spend some time together
43:18And I'm trying not to think about the fact that she's leaving
43:24I
43:28Am so happy this feels amazing after this week, it's like for all the hard work of homesteading you get this as a bonus
43:37So you're gonna be going home pretty soon I am I'm gonna go home
43:42and take those days and go see the grandbabies and
43:45I need to bring some more of my flannels and some more, you know, it's kind of a it's kind of a hard area for
43:52me, you know like to
43:54I've always worried about people liking civilization more than more than here
44:00and I'm kind of worried that that might be something you get home and you get used to all the luxuries of
44:07Modern life. I love you more than modern life. Do you I do here? I am
44:12With Jolie leaving it brings up a lot of things that for my past
44:15I mean everybody who's ever really cared about me is kind of dropped the ball. So I
44:20Have real reservations
44:23One
44:25Of my main concerns though, I'm used to people jumping out when it gets hard my family
44:31Every partner I've had, you know, it gets tough and they're gone, which is part of the reason I'm out here
44:38now the stakes are even higher because I
44:41Live out here in the middle of nowhere and life is more difficult than it would be for you in the city
44:47You leave behind your grandbabies and your family and everything you love
44:51I'm just hoping
44:53That you're not like this is too hard. I don't walk away
44:57from commitments and
45:00I'm just as anxious as you are coming out of a 22-year relationship. We're
45:10Feel like I failed
45:13And I don't want to tell you I
45:15I
45:18Want to believe her I want to believe everything she says but
45:22There's part of me that just wonders if this is gonna be too hard and if she'll come back
45:27It's terrifying to think that you don't really know
45:31How much I care for you and how much I love you. I really hope that you see my commitment. I
45:38Really want to be patient and compassionate towards Jen
45:41I wanted to know that I love her all the parts of her her land
45:46I'm here for her
45:47But Jennifer's history affects our relationship at almost every level and the lack of trust makes me feel very insecure
45:56Because I'm I'm here giving Jennifer a hundred percent of what I have and all of my heart
46:03And I don't have a hundred percent coming back to me
46:06And I'm really really hoping that she realizes that I'm not like the ones in the past I love you, too
46:36You