Love Off The Grid S02E10 (2024)
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TVTranscript
00:00It was just like a whiff. It just, it was a whiff.
00:04Yep, there it is.
00:06That's disgusting.
00:09This is a lot of shit down here.
00:11They really are fucking our yard up.
00:14When you have a property of this size and working towards sustainability with
00:18a lot of people,
00:20a lot of people,
00:22a lot of people,
00:24a lot of people,
00:26a lot of people,
00:28a lot of people,
00:30a lot of people,
00:32a lot of people,
00:34agriculture and livestock.
00:36Fork on the farm is never done,
00:38we're always building or picking something up.
00:40There's a pile of cardboard,
00:43just leave it there, we'll use that to start a fire later.
00:45I just see duck shit now.
00:47So that's why I'm like,
00:48I feel like every time I touch something that's wet,
00:50it's some duck boo-boo.
00:52It's just grass.
00:54What? It's just grass?
00:56Duck shit, honey.
00:58We not doing that.
01:00a lot of shit lately.
01:01Trying to get pregnant is still a challenge.
01:04So, you know, you have to go on a diet with me for fertility.
01:12But like, Joe's been very supportive
01:13with the whole Yoni steaming.
01:17Is your lingam inside the hole?
01:18It's in there.
01:19This is the first time I've been commando under a toga.
01:22Mm-hmm.
01:22Mm-hmm.
01:24And not fucking as much.
01:27I'm going to need you to save your sperm for a few days
01:30so that it's stronger when I ovulate.
01:34So like, no sex.
01:35So like, fasting.
01:36Yeah.
01:37So you can still fuck after the sun goes down.
01:40No.
01:41So I mean, if you want to like, jack off and get them excited,
01:44go for it.
01:45But you can't, nut.
01:47OK.
01:49But the doctor says that we've got
01:50a plan for long-term changes.
01:52I can really only eat like, meat and like, salads.
01:57Luckily, I love eggs and I can eat those.
01:59But the rest of that shit is hard.
02:02Like, I'm fat.
02:03I like potatoes, rice, starches, carbs.
02:07I like all that shit.
02:08How the hell you eat a steak with no potatoes?
02:11If I cut out certain sweets and carbs,
02:13it'll help me be more fertile.
02:16That's hard as fuck for me because sugars
02:19aren't really my problem.
02:20It's like, more of the carbs and they turn into sugars.
02:23I can eat eggs.
02:26But like, it says you can eat cheese,
02:28but then dairy affects your PCOS because it causes a blockage.
02:34So everything somehow is a problem.
02:39I feel like I don't want to do this shit by myself.
02:42So like, if I change my diet and start eating right,
02:44I need you to as well.
02:46Oh, yeah.
02:47Any diet of natural, unprocessed meals
02:53will improve every bit of your health, no matter what.
02:56I guess.
02:59Changing her diet will be hard on both of us.
03:01I have a bit of a sweet tooth, but considering all the things
03:06my Aisha gave up to move up here,
03:09I'll eat whatever she needs to eat.
03:11I'll help her any way she needs.
03:13Disgusting.
03:15It's hard to make the sacrifices so that I can get pregnant,
03:18but we're going to keep going until I get the baby
03:20that I've always wanted.
03:21And so everything has to be sacrificed.
03:25So like, I think though, with like fertility
03:28being our number one thing, we need to focus on that
03:35and only that for right now.
03:37Yeah.
03:38You know, like, I'm a spiritual person
03:40because I grew up in church.
03:43You know, I don't do everything.
03:45But who does?
03:48But like, I feel like, I feel like God is telling us
03:54to take a pause on this poly thing.
03:58I don't think he's saying like, oh, y'all can't,
04:00y'all shouldn't be doing that shit, you're going to hell.
04:02I think he's saying like, we need to focus on having our baby.
04:08You good with that?
04:11Yeah.
04:12It's hard to push aside something
04:14you've invested so much time and energy into,
04:16like looking for another partner.
04:18And I'm afraid stopping that momentum
04:22will be hard to start back up again.
04:26With the whole poly thing, I'm not against it.
04:28I just feel like every time we get
04:31close to like linking up with somebody
04:34that we really get along with, it always fails.
04:38Got to deworm them.
04:40Who's helping on this one?
04:41You going to do that?
04:42Mm-mm.
04:43You going to try?
04:44I said no.
04:46You don't want to really communicate with me.
04:48I don't feel like you really care about my experience.
04:51But you know like, conversations are like two-way street.
04:53Maybe it's not a good fit, which sucks.
04:56Yeah, you right.
04:59And I think for like the past few months,
05:00it's failing because that's not what
05:02we're supposed to be focused on.
05:03And just adds to the stress.
05:05And all of that just messes with my fertility.
05:09So maybe, just maybe, if we take a break
05:12and once we've gotten things better situated,
05:17we can focus back on bringing a third out here.
05:24I don't have a problem.
05:26You know, I'm slow and steady, go with the flow, as long
05:32as the river reaches the sea.
05:37Maisha and I both really want to have children.
05:40And Maisha's always been my queen.
05:42So we're doing anything we can so we have
05:44someone to pass the torch to.
05:47We got to cut this.
05:48Yeah.
05:50This overgrown.
05:53You're still cute though.
05:54I try.
05:54I love Joe.
05:57And I can't wait to have a baby with him.
05:59But we both envision having babies and polyamory.
06:03But right now, I'm giving up polyamory to have a baby.
06:06But if I don't end up with the baby, I will have lost both.
06:09Can you just?
06:12Yeah.
06:32This is like my bane.
06:34And it has invaded the property.
06:38We've got tumbleweed all over the property.
06:40And I've got to get rid of it.
06:42So I want to burn some weeds tonight.
06:47It's going to snow tomorrow.
06:48So it's the perfect time to do this
06:50so that we can utilize this in the spring and plant some trees.
06:57Even after the sun goes down, Ryan is still working.
07:01So if I want to spend time with him,
07:04I need to spend time with him while he's working.
07:08I feel like I am continuously making adjustments
07:11for this to work.
07:12And I'm just not seeing that being reciprocated.
07:18I guess I'm curious, like, why you enslave yourself to work,
07:21you know?
07:23Well, I don't enslave myself to work.
07:25OK.
07:28I work a lot.
07:30I mean, this is important to me.
07:35So how do you justify nothing getting done unless you're
07:38busting your behind?
07:41There has to be another way for him to go about fulfilling
07:43his mission where he has time for himself,
07:46where he's not sacrificing all of his time on this.
07:52It's not about doing it all yourself, you know?
07:54Like, you can only get so far.
07:56But to get to where you're going,
07:59you have to learn how to teach and delegate, right?
08:02Like, we say in business, a successful business,
08:04you only have a successful business if it runs itself.
08:08If the business is dependent on you,
08:15it's not a successful business.
08:17Well, this isn't going to get done by itself.
08:19Nothing gets done by itself, but everyone who, you know,
08:24has gained success in their life.
08:33I run a very successful online business,
08:36helping people overcome their inner struggles
08:39to create a better external life.
08:41And it's frustrating to not be heard by my partner
08:43in this place where I feel like I do
08:46know what I'm talking about.
08:48You want to try, baby?
08:50Yeah.
08:51Let me ask you this.
08:52OK.
08:53Little things.
08:54I'm not asking for monumental change.
08:56So what is one thing that you can commit to?
08:58Like, giving to yourself just a little bit more,
08:59because that's what's most important.
09:01All right.
09:03So like, for me, winter is the time
09:05that I gather everything that has happened in the year,
09:11and I rest.
09:12But also, what I'm hearing is, I only get
09:14my boyfriend half of the year.
09:17You don't have your boyfriend just half of the year.
09:20We spend time together right now.
09:27It's not a lot of time.
09:30But, you know, times like this where we get to watch the stars,
09:36we get to burn some sage.
09:39I feel like I've been meeting Ryan in the middle
09:41this entire time, and he still is not reciprocating.
09:46So at this point, I feel like I need to spell it out,
09:49letter by letter, exactly what I want.
09:53So I think an intention I want to set
09:55is for this next year to be super epic for both of us
09:58and to be in secure attachment with each other,
10:03meeting each other in the middle.
10:04Something that should just-
10:05I've got a good idea.
10:07What if we did like a specific day where we had a date night,
10:11or a date date?
10:14I like it.
10:15What about having a day where, like, the whole day,
10:21we're spending time working together,
10:25as a way of spending time together?
10:27Working together.
10:28Yeah, like this.
10:29No.
10:32I don't think you're hearing me.
10:34I'm trying to work on solutions.
10:36As am I, but-
10:37So that you can be happy.
10:39I'm getting triggered.
10:41Work solutions?
10:42Like, that's when I'm like, bro, you're not hearing me.
10:46The solution is, like, to not see working with me
10:51as the way that you're going to spend the most time with me.
10:55I said we could have one day for a date night.
10:59Where I work all day?
11:01For a date night.
11:03Unless you don't want to, and that's fine.
11:05Yeah, I love working, Ryan, but I
11:07don't think you understand the amount of energy
11:09it takes to run a business and to be doing that stuff.
11:12You don't have to do anything.
11:15You don't have to do anything.
11:16But I do have to get stuff done.
11:18Why does it have to be on Ryan's terms?
11:19Like, it's frustrating that you won't be like, babe, I love you.
11:22Let me, like, do something for you,
11:24instead of being like, hey, you love me?
11:26Well, follow me around and do what I want to do.
11:30The reason I get so frustrated is because I met with Soldier Ryan.
11:33No emotion.
11:34This isn't Soldier Ryan.
11:35This literally is me telling you I'm willing to let's-
11:41After, OK, after I said, babe, like,
11:43I can't just work with you.
11:45Hold on.
11:46Right now, I'm triggered, OK?
11:50I just need a time out.
11:55I feel like, where's she gone?
11:59I feel like I always present solutions for you.
12:01I don't know if I can talk to you.
12:03I feel like I'm always working on trying to make you happy.
12:05I cannot talk to you in this state.
12:07OK.
12:07We'll take some time.
12:09But I got to still get this done.
12:11No one is forcing you from not working.
12:13You can work your little heart away until you die, Ryan.
12:17It's fine.
12:18This is it.
12:19This is the last of it.
12:20Better go get more food.
12:22She's right.
12:23I have to go.
12:26I've got to go.
12:27I've got to go.
12:30I've got to go.
12:38I've got to go.
12:40I've got to go.
12:41I've got to go.
12:42I've got to go.
12:45Let's go get more food.
12:47Samuel left.
12:52He had arranged this whole thing where he's going to go make money
12:56even though we were trying to do this thing here.
13:00And I said that I needed him to commit to being here.
13:05We left it in a very bad place.
13:09And now Samuel's staying at the community where the tree house is.
13:13Fucking doing everything on my own again.
13:30I went to work in Tennessee.
13:33So my original plan was to go for a week.
13:36She arranged to pick me up from the airport.
13:39I went to this event and they invited me to help put together a structure
13:44and lengthened my trip for another week.
13:54When I called Arunia, she was just very upset that my plans were changing.
14:00She felt like I didn't want to really be with her.
14:03Eventually stopped responding to my texts and calls.
14:07I can see why Arunia's upset.
14:10I did switch up my plans sort of last minute.
14:13But I was hoping she would be happy for me in finding some opportunity.
14:19Before I can open the door to have a family,
14:22I really want to be sure that we will be able to support it.
14:25I'm afraid to have several hungry mouths and just come out and dig up a wild parsnip.
14:32So I feel like we're definitely misunderstanding each other
14:35and I think it would help to really talk in person.
14:49Can we talk?
14:51I don't think really texting is getting us anywhere.
14:56Okay, let's talk.
15:01Doesn't seem to be going so well.
15:04I just think we miscommunicated about what our expectations were.
15:09Told you I was going to probably have to travel for work.
15:11I can't find anything here in the middle of Missouri.
15:16I don't think ever at any point in this did you say to me that you were going to be leaving.
15:22From what I understood, you were going to be here for the whole experiment
15:26and there were many things that we were going to be doing.
15:29You were like, oh yeah, I'm going to help you out with some building.
15:31I'm going to work on the platform, work on you with the sauna.
15:33And then you specifically are not here for two weeks.
15:36You're just gone. You flew to another state.
15:39Exactly when I'm ovulating.
15:41It's not important to you. It's a joke.
15:43But that might have been the last time that I can get pregnant.
15:47I mean, it's fine. Whatever. Obviously it didn't work out.
15:52I don't know what I'm going to do now.
15:54How am I going to leave this middle of nowhere place with the tip of a hat?
15:58I mean, that's what you did before.
16:00Apparently you took a billion flights all over the place.
16:03You're a fucking grown up person. You're not a fucking baby.
16:06You need to figure it out.
16:08If Samuel had told me that he wants to go work from time to time,
16:12we would have had that conversation.
16:14But I clearly stated that I want somebody physically there
16:18and for us to see if this is going to work.
16:21Him arriving and then just taking off kind of behind my back was not going to work for me.
16:28I'm sorry that you had such a horrible time here.
16:32It wasn't that I had a horrible time here.
16:35I just had to make money.
16:40It's not about the income out here.
16:42There's no cost except for putting gas in the car.
16:45Gas and materials.
16:47What materials for what? I'm not building anything.
16:50You don't want to live out here. I get it.
16:54And it's fine.
16:56It's fine. I think 99% of people don't want to live out here.
17:00And it's okay. It's just that we had such a communication breakdown.
17:04And that's what it's about.
17:09Irina, I really am sorry.
17:11I don't hold anything against you.
17:13I do think you're a good person.
17:15I do remember the good memories we have together.
17:18A good person is a stretch.
17:23A stretch from a great person?
17:26Yeah.
17:30Can I give you a hug, Irina?
17:32Yeah.
17:34It's okay.
17:38I'm sorry.
17:40I'm sorry, too.
17:44Irina is my way or the highway kind of gal.
17:48If I had known that this would be a deal breaker for her,
17:51I might have acted different.
17:53But it feels like I've caused too much hurt in her now.
18:00Yeah.
18:02It was a long shot, but I think I still want somebody here.
18:07You know what I mean?
18:09It sucks to think about, oh yeah, I'm going to spend my life out here alone.
18:14I don't like that thought, you know?
18:17And, yeah, just like even like having you here for like a little bit.
18:21Just was like, oh, yeah.
18:23You know, that would be nice.
18:24Like that would be a nice thing.
18:26Not you per se.
18:31Telling Samuel to go is like the end.
18:34Like this is the end.
18:36It doesn't feel good.
18:38It feels like I've failed again at finding somebody.
18:48I'm ready to go make tea inside.
18:52It's the old dusty trail for me.
18:56I feel very much relieved that we could end things in an amicable way at least
19:02I just kind of feel sad now.
19:10I really love this off-grid lifestyle, but I would love to find a partner and have a baby.
19:18You know, I want to fill both baskets, but it's kind of hard to do that.
19:27Don't be coming back here crying.
19:30I'm not too.
19:31Okay.
19:53It's frustrating.
19:56I feel like I'm talking to a dead horse because he's not showing emotion for letting me in
20:03and expects me to stick around.
20:05Like that's insanity.
20:17Pissed off.
20:19I've got to do what I feel called to do.
20:23And I also love her, but keeping her happy seems like I have to quit what I feel is my calling to do.
20:35When I was in Afghanistan, there was a time when my first sergeant asked me to go on a mission
20:40and my back was injured and so I didn't go.
20:44They held me back and somebody else went my place.
20:47When that mission went out, the vehicle that I would have been in, they hit an IED and they all died.
21:00Sometimes I feel like that was my place to die and that guy should have come home to his family.
21:08I survived and so this is the way that I'm giving back for the life that he gave me.
21:16So it's much bigger than just me.
21:20And so to be asked to stop doing it, I can't do it.
21:25I can't get on the phone with her and Zoom her clients.
21:30There's no way for me to interact in her business at all.
21:33In fact, she kicks me out of my house because that's the only room we have.
21:38He literally, that is a lie.
21:41You literally gave me the space in the Earth ship to work.
21:44You said, I said, babe, I said, babe, when I come here, I'm going to need to work.
21:49Is that okay with you?
21:50You're like, oh, you can have all the space.
21:52So that phrase is not true.
21:54It is true.
21:55I cannot be in my house.
21:57I have to leave and go outside.
21:59You agreed to that.
22:00And I'm okay with that.
22:01So nobody's kicking you out and nobody's asking you to stop working.
22:04Shayla.
22:05I'm going to be really clear here.
22:06I am not asking you to sacrifice your work.
22:10I'm asking you to get more organized, create systems.
22:14Ryan Timmermans does not need to be working 24-7.
22:17You deserve to have your own life and understand your mission and understand the impact you're having on people.
22:23But at one point, do you say that like overworking is toxic?
22:28It's not for me.
22:30It's not overworking for me.
22:32It doesn't mean it's healthy.
22:34Right?
22:35It feels healthy to me.
22:36I'm usually pretty happy.
22:37Let's say somebody who eats sugar all the time.
22:40You're going to feel natural eating sugar.
22:41But somebody who doesn't eat sugar is like, oh, that would be really so-hoo-hoo.
22:45You become used to things, right?
22:47Mm-hmm.
22:48Yeah.
22:51I'm reaching my breaking point.
22:53I've been here for two months, and we've had, I think, two dates.
22:59When I try to talk to Ryan about this, he just shuts me down.
23:03If he can't at least meet me in the middle, I don't think I can keep doing this relationship.
23:10It's really hard for me to keep feeling like I am the only one sacrificing, jumping out of my comfort zone.
23:18Meaning coming out here is not necessarily comfortable.
23:22I'm not asking you to change overnight.
23:25I just want to feel you a little bit more so I can have that secure attachment.
23:31I just feel judged.
23:33I'm sorry you feel judged.
23:35I feel that anything that I do won't satisfy you.
23:39And I love what you're doing.
23:42I'm not judging you.
23:44I want to keep coming out and helping you, but for me to do that, I have to feel secure.
23:51You know how I feel secure?
23:54No.
23:56Intentionally setting aside time.
23:58We have time now.
24:00That's why I don't understand.
24:02Just say, hey, we're going to spend like two hours on a freaking Sunday afternoon just sitting with each other.
24:09We're going on a hike without cell phones.
24:11That's what I'm saying.
24:13That's a good place to start.
24:15That's easy.
24:16I mean, I haven't been perfect, but you know I'm putting in a hell of a lot of work.
24:21You are putting in a lot of work.
24:23Yeah.
24:24So, can you meet me halfway?
24:31Yes.
24:32I can meet you halfway.
24:35How's progress?
24:36All the way.
24:46Babe, I love you.
24:47I love you too.
24:56How much longer do you want me?
24:58How much longer do you want me?
25:00I've got to burn the whole desert.
25:02No, you don't.
25:06I'm kidding.
25:17Grab a good bucket.
25:19You're one of them.
25:20One that's still standing.
25:21That's right, Paco.
25:23Do it the old-fashioned way.
25:26My name is Kenard.
25:27I'm 33, from Baltimore, Maryland, but now I'm down here in Southern Georgia.
25:32Living off-grid will turn you into a lot of different things, and one of those things had to be Cowboy Ken.
25:37That's right, that's right.
25:39Daddy's back.
25:44My name is Christine, and I'm a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom from a suburb in Stone Mountain, Georgia.
25:50Ken is my husband.
25:52We have four children together.
25:54But currently, we live 100 miles from each other.
26:02For the past two months, I've been living alone because we found this five acres here in Southern Georgia.
26:08It was a river at one point.
26:10It dried up, and I think there's some remnants of it.
26:13It's kind of like a mix between the desert, the Everglades, and then like a regular forest.
26:20I mean, we've got cactuses, palm trees.
26:23Seeing how everything works together really allows you to put a picture together of like what life is about.
26:31There's so many tasks at the farm that had to be taken care of before the kids and I can arrive and be comfortable.
26:36So Kenard had to go down, and that's when Cowboy Ken turned up on the farm.
26:41The difference between Kenard and Cowboy Ken is
26:44Kenard is the type that'll get things done, very focused, straightforward.
26:50But Cowboy Ken is like only the most fun aspects of him.
26:56It's like his alter ego.
26:59Cowboy Ken is adventurous. He's fun.
27:02Always finds some new thing to learn.
27:05One day, Cowboy Ken's fishing, and the next day, Cowboy Ken's trying to spear hunt.
27:11I have everything I need here.
27:13A grocery store, a pet store is everything you want.
27:18I don't need toilet paper sometimes, but that's a whole different thing.
27:24Being out here starting this property alone, I discovered that I like my space.
27:29I'd rather be around snakes and scorpions and all that
27:33than be around a house that's right next to another house and ambulances
27:38and, you know, just people that are not used to being free.
27:42I want the kids to be able to understand that, too, and experience that.
27:46And this is the best way to do it.
27:51Kenard's been making some progress at the farm,
27:54but it's just not enough to bring the family down right now.
27:57We need to be putting structures down that protect the family from everything in the wild, like bats.
28:04There's huge holes out there, and I think they're foxes and also the insects.
28:09Ant bites, because you get bit every day.
28:12Summers are really extreme.
28:14When I'm hot, it's just a primal instinct.
28:17Leave now, immediate A.C.
28:24Hello?
28:25Hey, how you doing? I'm on the way to the farm.
28:29Okay.
28:30Yeah, I think it's about time we make that big jump.
28:34The kids are going to have to go to my mom for maybe a month or so
28:38so that I can come down and help Kenard on the farm.
28:41Christine, are you sure you want to do this?
28:43You sure you want to live like that? Upgrade or whatever?
28:47Well, I don't know if the city's life is for me anymore.
28:51I mean, I really love it. I'm going to miss it.
28:55Commuting to see Kenard has been very stressful on our relationship.
28:59Me moving down to the farm will make our relationship stronger.
29:02We'll be able to be together more, build things and start projects together
29:07and see them completed, and make our communication skills stronger.
29:12Girl, I just hooked you up for the challenge, so...
29:15Well, I got to make it there. There's no way of coming back.
29:21You call me if you need anything, girl.
29:24You call me if you need anything, girl.
29:28There's no turning back right now.
29:34Oh, look who it is. It's Mama. Mama's back.
29:39Living Off Grid is in Kenard's blood, and hopefully having the farm will sustain us one day.
29:45What's up, baby? I've been waiting on you.
29:48Oh, man, that's a long drive.
29:50What's up, girl?
29:51Oh, yes, I'm so glad.
29:53My idea of the best way to live out here changed once I was Off Grid for a little while.
29:58I realized how happy I am living without modern conveniences,
30:01and I want to teach this way of life to my family.
30:04When are you going to be ready to get to this work?
30:06I can get to it now.
30:08Mm-hmm.
30:09Build some grape salad for them.
30:11Bella, I missed you, baby.
30:14Here you go, Melvin.
30:15Oh, yeah, she misses you.
30:16I missed you, Melvin.
30:17He's so sweet.
30:19There are three big things that need to be done in order to bring the kids down.
30:23We need a water source, a food source,
30:26and we need to protect all the family from everything out there in the elements.
30:32Christine's definition of Off Grid living is a lot like mine,
30:36but, you know, in order for this to work, she needs to loosen some of her expectations.
30:41I'm more about function,
30:43and she doesn't want just a job.
30:46And she doesn't want just a bucket.
30:48She wants a toilet.
30:51I see you put a new net on top of there.
30:53Hey, girls.
30:54Yeah, we got to redo their area.
30:56I would love for them to have, like, a cute little shack.
31:00I don't think they care if it's a house.
31:02But, like, look at it.
31:04It looks good. I would sleep in that.
31:06You'd sleep in there?
31:07I'd sleep in there if it was enough room for me.
31:09I'd sleep in there.
31:10I'm sleeping right next to them.
31:12I don't know.
31:13We just got to get some stuff sorted out.
31:17Cowboy Ken's more like a pioneer, you know?
31:20He's okay with the rustic lifestyle.
31:22But right now, we need to set the property in a way that'll allow our family to thrive.
31:27Otherwise, we'd probably have to get regular jobs back in the city.
31:32My expectations, they have a place that I can 100% be proud of.
31:37My kids can be proud of it.
31:39And, you know, when my grandkids are born and they talk about me,
31:43they talk about how Cowboy Ken started all this.
31:48I miss you.
31:49I miss you, too.
31:53I love Kennard.
31:54And we both had the same vision to move off-grid.
31:57So, my mom can keep the kids for about five or six weeks.
32:01If we can't get this farm together during that time,
32:05it probably will be still on the farm and moving back to town.
32:09That sounds terrible. God forgive me. I don't even want to talk like that.
32:13Yeah.
32:41You want some deer meat?
32:42Hell yeah.
32:43Sustainable living means solving problems with whatever the land gives you.
32:48With Myesha wanting us to eat a higher-protein diet,
32:52I let the neighbors know that if they have any spare meat,
32:55that we would gladly take it off their hands.
32:59Look at the blood dripping.
33:00Our neighbor, Cliff, just came over.
33:02Apparently, he was hunting and chopped some deer.
33:05So, he decided to bring it to us to see if we wanted it.
33:13All of the above.
33:16This is just Alabama being Alabama.
33:19He had an extra deer, and he had a neighbor that could use it.
33:23So, he showed up and asked.
33:26It's really about, like, cleaning it and stuff,
33:29because I don't know how to do any of that.
33:32That's what I have to do.
33:37If you told me a year ago that I would be cleaning my own deer,
33:40I would say you were crazy.
33:44I've been waiting for this. It's like God spoke.
33:47I've been trying to clean a deer for the longest.
33:51The only thing that I've ever killed was a rabbit and a squirrel.
33:55I feel like I've asked a lot from Joe lately,
33:58and he's handled it really well.
34:00I want to show him that I can help out and give back however I need to.
34:04Y'all ready?
34:05Yep.
34:08You gotta use a knife.
34:09Is this something I can mess up?
34:11No, just don't cut that back tendon.
34:13Okay.
34:14Or we'll be doing it from the ground.
34:15And just pull straight down all the way down here.
34:17You're gonna rip the hide.
34:18Don't put your hand here, just pull straight down.
34:20Okay, and go all the way down?
34:22Yep.
34:23Once it goes, it'll go.
34:25Keep going.
34:26Keep going.
34:27All the way down to the chest cavity.
34:30All right, that'll work.
34:32I thought he was going to, like, walk me through what you do
34:35and let me look at it.
34:38All the way.
34:39All the way.
34:42All right, now what we're gonna do, just lay it on down.
34:44Slide it down, cut it off, get it cut.
34:46And I'm like, what if I mess up?
34:49There you go.
34:50Once you watch how it's done and then do it some,
34:52there's not much to it.
34:54Just keep going.
34:55We want to get all this hide off.
34:56Yeah, you're gonna do it.
34:58You're gonna do it all.
34:59Get this part, get that part.
35:00Peel down.
35:02There you go.
35:03All the way down.
35:04I just stuck my finger in the hole where the blood is.
35:08I was scared.
35:10We're gonna get to the fun part.
35:12We're gonna take his heart, lungs, everything out.
35:15I want you to take this knife
35:17and just kind of keep it right down through the middle here.
35:19Oh, oh, it's so bad.
35:25This isn't just about fertility.
35:28It's about my lifestyle out here as well.
35:31I'm planning to have a big family out here.
35:33So if I want to be able to provide for them,
35:35I have to learn how to do all of this stuff by myself.
35:39Ergie, one back strap.
35:42Let it soak before you cook it.
35:44Throw it in the skillet like you would bacon with your eggs.
35:47Okay.
35:50No.
35:51No.
35:52Mine.
35:54Seeing Myesha lean into it with that energy
35:59just reinforces the fact that I chose the right person
36:03to do everything out here with.
36:05Wait.
36:06Yeah.
36:07You got it?
36:08I'm gonna just throw it over the fence.
36:09Yeah.
36:10Over here?
36:11She's already a brilliant woman,
36:13but she's always a learner,
36:15and that's what you need out here.
36:18Leave it.
36:24Look, a tail wagon.
36:26Oh, shit.
36:27You have to learn how to do things for yourself,
36:29or it won't happen.
36:31Well, thank you, sir.
36:32You're welcome.
36:33Thanks, Cliff.
36:34You're welcome.
36:35If y'all need anything, you know where I'm at.
36:37Oh, yes, sir.
36:38I feel like I'm ready to do it again.
36:40There you go.
36:41I like it.
36:42But this time, I want to kill my own.
36:46Awesome.
36:47Let's get your hands washed.
36:49All right.
36:58♪♪♪♪
37:07It's gonna be perfect.
37:09It's a great night.
37:10Not too much wind.
37:12Not a cloud in the sky.
37:14Be able to see the stars.
37:15Perfect.
37:16♪♪♪♪
37:20Babe.
37:22We're almost to the challenging part of our journey.
37:25Okay.
37:26♪♪♪♪♪
37:29All right, now.
37:31We're almost to the fence.
37:33We got to go through the barbed wire.
37:35No.
37:36Just step over.
37:38Okay.
37:40Now...
37:43Go ahead.
37:45Take off your blindfold.
37:47Take off my blindfold?
37:48Yeah.
37:50Surprise.
37:52Babe.
37:54Where did you get a hair mattress?
37:56Ha, ha.
37:58You might recognize our bedspread
38:01that I stole right from under your nose.
38:03And the lantern.
38:08And I got you a card.
38:10You got me a card?
38:11Mm-hmm.
38:12Should I read it?
38:13Yes.
38:14Sure.
38:16When I grab your hand...
38:19When I tell you you look great...
38:22And you always do, I'm saying it.
38:26I may not say it as often as I should,
38:29but with every little gesture, I'm saying I love you.
38:33I love you, babe.
38:37I'm proud of you, too.
38:43Wow, and the moon.
38:47Some hot chocolate.
38:49What?
38:53I'm impressed.
38:56I want you to know that I heard you
39:00the other night when we were burning tumbleweed,
39:03and I wanted to spend some time with you.
39:08And I wanted to spend some time with you.
39:14Away from everybody else.
39:16You did hear me.
39:18Times ten.
39:22Yeah.
39:24Thank you, babe.
39:26We haven't talked about this for a long time.
39:29Mm-hmm.
39:34Do you know what that star is?
39:36Which one?
39:37Right there.
39:38Is that a planet?
39:39What planet? I don't know.
39:42Oh, that would have been cool to have.
39:44A little star chart.
39:46I have a confession.
39:47What?
39:48I only know the philosophy of astrology.
39:53I don't know astronomy.
39:55Oh.
39:56So I can't really tell you.
39:58Oh, so you're not gonna teach me what the stars are?
40:00I don't really know.
40:02It's okay.
40:05How was your day?
40:07It was good.
40:08Real?
40:09Yeah.
40:10I had a very exhausting day yesterday.
40:11This is, like, perfect.
40:13Yeah.
40:15This makes me feel like he cares,
40:17and he wants to put in just that little bit of effort
40:21that I was kind of looking for
40:23to fill up our relationship cup just a little bit more.
40:26I have been putting thought into your suggestion
40:31of working together once a week.
40:36I don't really know.
40:38I would love to take you on that offer.
40:41That would be really helpful.
40:43Yeah. I think we'll get a lot done.
40:45We're gonna have to get so much done.
40:48I love Shayla, and this feels like a really good step
40:51where we can start working things out
40:53and coming together and spending time together.
40:56I really enjoyed putting this together tonight.
40:59It was exciting to be able to surprise her
41:02and do something for her,
41:04and I really think that she liked the effort there.
41:09How do you feel?
41:12Content and warm
41:16and in love with you.
41:29♪♪♪♪
41:39♪♪♪♪
41:50I should have got that pear honey.
41:52Ooh, thank you, baby girl. You ready?
41:55Yeah.
41:56When I first moved out here,
41:58I didn't do anything by myself, and everything was a big deal,
42:01and today I finally cleaned my first deer.
42:04You want to go ahead and throw your deer in your skillet?
42:06Yeah.
42:07You're not gonna put the butter with it, though?
42:09I'm gonna put it on top of it.
42:11♪♪♪♪
42:14Demi already cooking good under there.
42:16Oh, yeah.
42:17You're gonna be thick in that smoke, honey.
42:21This is my first time cooking deer in a skillet,
42:23and I'm concerned of what this might taste like.
42:26Joe has some garlic butter on there.
42:28I'm like, why are you putting garlic on deer?
42:31This smoke is treacherous.
42:33Smoke follows beauty, baby girl.
42:35Shut up.
42:37I'm still getting used to eating a lot of red meat,
42:40and venison smells funny.
42:42That smell, it just smell like dirt, like nature.
42:44But I'm not gonna let this deer go to waste.
42:47♪♪♪♪♪
42:53Make sure it ain't too hot.
42:55I don't know, you know.
42:57I'm a can't-get-past-the-smell kind of person.
42:59If it don't smell, it should smell good.
43:01It's too hot, bitch.
43:02I ain't sure.
43:03I don't know what this is giving me.
43:04I don't know if this is giving me barbecue ribs or...
43:06Give it to me.
43:08No, I'm a barbecue, honey.
43:09See if it'll get enough pot.
43:12Okay, now.
43:14Right?
43:15That's good right there.
43:16It really is.
43:18It was surprisingly good.
43:22That's better than that steak, though.
43:24Mmm.
43:25It was like a thick texture at first
43:27when I had that first little nibble,
43:29but if you put it all in, it just goes down smooth.
43:32This meal's pretty in keeping with your,
43:35you know, your, you know,
43:38This meal's pretty in keeping with your diet?
43:41Our diet.
43:42Your fertility is as important as mine.
43:45Your soul just got to march, too.
43:47High protein, buddy.
43:48I'm here for it.
43:49So now we just got to get to a point
43:51where we can grind it and make some sausage.
43:53We'll have a slaughterhouse built.
43:56Let's see.
43:57So we'll get the barn next spring.
43:59Mm-hmm.
44:00I mean, I guess the slaughterhouse could come next.
44:03Depends on baby or no baby.
44:05Yeah.
44:06Because that'll determine
44:08how quick we have to move to the final house.
44:11Mm-hmm.
44:12Because a baby's only going to last in this tiny home,
44:14like, a year.
44:16The dream of our future
44:17is what had me falling in love with Joe the first time.
44:20So I'm happiest when I'm thinking about
44:22a future with babies and buildings.
44:25We can do a brew house, get wines going again.
44:29What about, like, my little kitchen?
44:31Because we can do a lot of shit in that little kitchen
44:33until you get bigger stuff like the brew house.
44:35This is going to take a lot of time and a lot of sacrifice,
44:38but I got to stay positive and stay focused
44:41on the dream that we have.
44:43But that tastes good.
44:44You did a good job with that.
44:46Yeah, I'm glad you liked it.
44:47Now, when you go on, I'm going to pick this stuff up.
44:50You're going to bring everything in?
44:52Yeah.
44:53Okay.
44:54She'll grab that.
44:55That's why I just asked you,
44:57why you talking about you going to get everything.
44:59I'm going to be coming back out here to get some shit.
45:03I need you.
45:05You got me.
45:32¶¶