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Taskmaster NZ S05E03

Taskmaster NZ S05E04 >>> https://dai.ly/x940w8a

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00:00Hello.
00:01And...
00:02Two!
00:03Come on!
00:04Woo-hoo!
00:05That's for the haters.
00:06Come here.
00:07Come here.
00:08Jiggle a little.
00:09See?
00:10Oh!
00:11Yeah!
00:12Yeah!
00:13He-he-he!
00:14Nomai Pikimai and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38Thanks for joining us tonight, unless you're somehow watching this illegally, in which
00:42case I'd like to say you're very naughty and I hope you like jail because that's exactly
00:48where you're going.
00:49For the rest of you though, my name is Jeremy Wells and I am the Taskmaster.
00:59Joining me on the stage tonight are four of Aotearoa's top thousand comedians.
01:05They are Abbey Howells, Ben Hurley, Hayley Sproul, and Tom Sainsbury.
01:16And as you may know, Tofinga Whipuli'a'i cannot be with us in the studio this season, so in
01:23his place, we're being haunted by ghosts from Taskmaster's past.
01:30Standing in tonight, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Matt Heath.
01:33It's an honour.
01:34It's an honour to be back.
01:36Next to me, as always, keeping track of the scores and adding them all up like a big calculator
01:41made of human meat, it's my trusty assistant, Paul Williams!
01:49I'm not wearing a wire.
01:54It makes me think that you are wearing a wire.
01:55Why would you say that?
01:56Well, I say it because I'm not wearing a wire.
01:59That's why I'd say it.
02:00Paul, we can literally see it.
02:01It's like it's right there.
02:02In fact, we're all wearing them.
02:05It's how we're being heard right now.
02:07OK, but this one's wireless.
02:12All right.
02:15What's this week's prize task?
02:17Tonight, we have asked our contestants to bring in the best thing that you are confident
02:23that Jeremy has never owned in his life.
02:26Potentially very risky for our contestants, this one.
02:30Hayley?
02:31What have you brought in?
02:32I've taken a stab in the dark here because I don't know you that well, Jeremy.
02:36So I have brought in something I assume you haven't owned, which is a My First Period
02:40kit.
02:41You've got Women's Day, Woman's Day, Women's Weekly and Woman Magazine, because you are
02:48now a woman.
02:49There's pads, there's tampons, there's some fresh period undies in there.
02:51There's just everything you would need for your first period.
02:54I'm assuming you haven't owned one of these before?
02:56No, but I do have a 14-year-old daughter.
02:59Wow, you could share it with her.
03:02Matt, you are representing Tofinga tonight.
03:07What have you brought in?
03:08Well, I also don't know you that well, Jeremy, but you strike me as a sort of pampered kind
03:13of individual.
03:14So what I've brought in is something that you will never have experienced, and it's
03:19normal, cheap, low thread count bed linen.
03:26That's not linen, that's polyester.
03:27I can smell it from here.
03:28Get it off the screen.
03:29I don't even want to see it.
03:30I don't want to see it.
03:31Let's move on.
03:32Tom.
03:33Okay, having broken into your house, I know that you've already got the Wellington Beehive
03:41version and you've already got the Uluru version, but have you got the Sydney Opera House Puzzle?
03:48What?
03:49Do you like puzzles?
03:50I hate puzzles.
03:51Don't you like having fun?
03:56There's nothing fun about doing a puzzle.
03:58I mean, there's the picture.
03:59There it is there.
04:01It's been done before.
04:02We know it exists.
04:03I can honestly say I have never once done a puzzle.
04:07I've never picked up a piece to even do a puzzle.
04:10Have you ever got your staff to do it?
04:13I do a lot of puzzles.
04:15Abbey.
04:16Yes?
04:17What did you bring in?
04:18I made you a bullet journal.
04:20I made it Jeremy's journal, top secret, and I've decorated it.
04:25On the next page, just gratitude, you know, today I'm grateful for.
04:30And then on the next page, nice moments, you know, for example, being given this journal
04:35by my new friend, Abbey.
04:38So.
04:39That's beautiful.
04:40That is beautiful.
04:41It's very thoughtful.
04:42Thank you, Jeremy.
04:43I put it together.
04:44I sat at my coffee table and I said, I think he's going to like this, Abbey, and my mum
04:47thinks so too.
04:48I think if she sees it, it's lovely, Abbey.
04:53Ben.
04:55People might think of you as being a sort of button down, you know, clean cut high achiever.
05:00But I know for a fact, you were kicked out of a number of high schools, isn't that correct?
05:05One high school.
05:06That's good.
05:07Well, I was head boy of my high school.
05:09Were you?
05:10I was, of Harwara High School, just calm down, it just meant I didn't impregnate anybody.
05:16They give you a badge?
05:17They give you, they give you a plaque, Jeremy.
05:20And there it is there.
05:21I was head boy of Harwara High School 1997.
05:24I guarantee you don't have a head boy plaque.
05:28They give you a plaque?
05:29Yeah.
05:30Like you might forget that you were head boy or something?
05:32I will never forget that.
05:35Is head boy still in your CV?
05:37I mean, Tom, I don't have a CV.
05:42People just sort of know.
05:44All right, how am I going to score this?
05:48Have you had any of these items before?
05:49I have had terrible linen.
05:52So, I kind of feel like, Matt, you may come in for one point there.
05:57No.
05:58Tough moment.
05:59I have also had gratitude journals in the past, Abbey, which means two for you.
06:03Ben, I don't like a gloater, so three for you.
06:07That's more than I was expecting, I'll be honest.
06:10Four for you, Hayley, and there's no way I've ever had a puzzle anywhere near me.
06:15Five points for Tom.
06:16Well done, Tom.
06:17Well done.
06:18Okay, Paul, should we get down to business?
06:24If you like marshmallows, just buy some at the shop, they're not expensive, and just
06:29eat them.
06:30Anyway, enjoy this task.
06:31Can't see him.
06:32Oh, he's there.
06:33Oh, it's a tiny little one.
06:48So cute.
06:49Fun little task you got there.
06:50Do I put these on him, I guess?
06:51Oh, yeah, because this is tiny.
06:52I've actually got really good vision, I don't even really need these.
06:56I still can't see it.
06:58If you can read it, that'll help.
06:59Throw a marshmallow over the wall and catch it in your mouth.
07:04You must wear zoom goggles, that's these, right?
07:08Mm-hmm.
07:09The whole time.
07:10Fewest attempts wins.
07:11You have until you catch a marshmallow in your mouth.
07:15Your time starts now.
07:18Oh, my gosh.
07:19How do I do that?
07:20How do I throw it over the wall and catch it in my own mouth?
07:23Well, that's the task.
07:24That's what you've got to figure out.
07:28All right, let's see some hilariously inaccurate marshmallow tossing.
07:34This time, it's women and children last.
07:37First up, it's the fellas Ben Tefinga and Tom.
07:40Okay, here we go.
07:43Too far.
07:47Too far.
07:48Leave it.
07:53Oh, too far again.
07:55Don't even think about it.
08:03I reckon I can just run it down the wall.
08:06Oh, it hit my mouth!
08:09Oh, no, it was so close.
08:17Come on, Paul.
08:18You've got to hype me up better.
08:19Okay, sorry.
08:20You can do this.
08:21Oh, man.
08:22It's too hard.
08:23Come on, you might be able to do this.
08:34It's in.
08:38Oh!
08:40Five.
08:41Is it five?
08:42One, two, three, four, five.
08:45Thank you, Tom.
08:47Peace.
08:48Thank you, Tefinga.
08:49Want a marshmallow?
08:50Yes, please.
08:51Go on.
08:52Hey, bubby!
08:59Ben and Tom, how did that wall taste?
09:02Bricky?
09:04Definitely wasn't bricky.
09:07I think it tasted like crayons.
09:10You guys managed to get the marshmallows in your mouth,
09:13but Tefinga was the only person who managed to do it
09:16without looking like a complete numpty.
09:18Yeah.
09:19Well, he didn't raise his head or open his mouth
09:21for the first five, so he looked cool for a while.
09:24The first time he actually opened his mouth
09:26and looked up, went straight in.
09:28Yeah, I thought his method was way off,
09:30but it looked really good when it happened.
09:32It looked so cool.
09:33So much better than us, Tom.
09:34Yeah.
09:35We're all lickers.
09:37Tom, 20 attempts.
09:39Tefinga, 19 attempts.
09:41Ben, only seven attempts.
09:43Oh, my God.
09:44Yes.
09:45That's good, right?
09:46It's like golf.
09:47Yes.
09:48Yeah, OK.
09:49If you'd like to try this one at home,
09:51why not punch a big hole through a wall in your house
09:53and give it a go?
09:54You have the length of one ad break.
09:56Back soon with more Taskmaster.
09:58Ka kite aku e nei.
10:05Welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:07Paul, I believe we were mid-task
10:09before we were so rudely interrupted.
10:11That's right, our contestants were tasked
10:13with throwing a marshmallow over a wall
10:15and catching it in their mouth,
10:17all while wearing a pair of Zoom goggles.
10:19Up next, her hair is the same colour
10:21as 50% of marshmallows.
10:23It's Hayley Sproul.
10:25Hayley Sproul.
10:27Hayley Sproul.
10:29Hayley Sproul.
10:31Hayley Sproul.
10:33Hayley Sproul.
10:35Oh, for God's sake, Paul.
10:37My arm's just too short.
10:39I want, like, a little pincer.
10:41There might be tongs in the kitchen.
10:43Can you tape me?
10:44Could you?
10:45Don't you fall, cos it'll be a real mess.
10:47OK.
10:49Have you ever looked after an old woman?
10:51No.
10:53You'll be quite good, Paul.
10:55You've got a gentle way.
10:58Jeebus creepus.
11:00Ah!
11:01Ah!
11:02Ah!
11:03Oh, no.
11:05That was my worst one yet.
11:07Yeah.
11:08I need to create some sort of funnel system, I think.
11:10Yeah, great.
11:12OK, I think this is good.
11:16Oh.
11:18LAUGHTER
11:20CHEERING
11:22LAUGHTER
11:24APPLAUSE
11:26Yay!
11:28There you go.
11:30Yeah.
11:32I think there was some real Kiwi ingenuity on display there,
11:35but you probably say pushing the boundaries
11:37of what you would say the word catch.
11:39I caught it.
11:41You...
11:42We saw me catch it.
11:44You caught it with a funnel.
11:46It just felt a bit droppy to me.
11:48It was not droppy.
11:50It was throwy-catchy.
11:52Also, my agent is going to be talking to production
11:54about that shot.
11:55You've done me dirty there.
11:57Go crazy, internet.
11:58Make the memes.
11:59All that.
12:01I would say Ben and Tom's staying quite quiet
12:04in this discussion.
12:05Aren't they?
12:06There was quite a vertical drop from their throws as well.
12:09We've got to go to ads, I think.
12:11No, we just came back from an ad.
12:13Whereas my team was quite clearly...
12:15Yeah.
12:16No-one's debating that Dwarflinga did a great job.
12:18No doubt about it.
12:19Let's just come back to this in a second,
12:21cos I can't help but notice that we've left one person to last.
12:24She's a queen and she's generating a lot of buzz.
12:28It's Abby.
12:30I reckon I'm going to do it right away.
12:35OK, I'm going to look at the task again.
12:37OK.
12:38There's going to be another way.
12:40Throw a marshmallow over the wall
12:42and catch it in your mouth.
12:44It doesn't necessarily say at the same time.
12:47If I throw a marshmallow over the wall
12:50and then catch it in my mouth,
12:52I'm still kind of doing it.
12:54Incoming!
12:57Phew!
12:58Nice. Part one done.
13:00Now catch it in my mouth.
13:02Ah, OK.
13:06Right, there was a bust, Paul.
13:08We're coming back for another one.
13:10Throw it over the wall.
13:12Catch it in my mouth.
13:16OK, there was a bust as well, Paul.
13:18Throw it over the wall.
13:20Catch it in my mouth.
13:23OK, there was a bust too.
13:26Throw it over the wall.
13:28Catch it in my mouth.
13:33Good. Damn it.
13:37Mustn't get stressed, Abby.
13:39No one's dying.
13:41OK.
13:47Wow, Paul!
13:51I think this is the first time on Taskmaster
13:54that someone's ever found a loophole
13:56that's actually made it harder to complete the task.
13:59It truly did not occur to me
14:01to put my hand through the hole.
14:03Paul passed you the task through the hole.
14:06My whole life it's like,
14:08don't put your hand in the hole.
14:10So how many times did it take Abby to actually get...
14:13So nine times.
14:15OK.
14:17You see, I feel like the task
14:19was really to throw it over
14:21and catch it in the same kind of action.
14:24I'm going to disqualify Abby.
14:28But these guys were dropping as well, were they?
14:30They were all dropping.
14:32So unfortunately, you all get no points.
14:35And Tofinga gets five points.
14:37Team Tofinga.
14:41Unbelievable.
14:43OK, Paul. So how's the scoreboard looking?
14:45On six points. In the lead, it's Tofinga.
14:50All right.
14:53Let's barrel on to another task, I reckon.
14:55It's time for the old switcheroo.
15:04Hi.
15:06Hello, Ben.
15:08Hello, Tom.
15:10Hey, mate.
15:14Lamps.
15:16Let there be light.
15:18You like lamps?
15:20I love lamp.
15:22Lamp in the lab.
15:24You must be seated at the desk
15:26in the study when the lamp turns on.
15:28Fastest one.
15:30You have one hour maximum.
15:32Your time starts now.
15:34Oh, yeah. There we go.
15:36Salt lamp. Positive ions.
15:38Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?
15:42I'll just use that.
15:44Auto.
15:46Auto.
15:49Woof. Woof.
15:51Can I turn on the lamp sexually?
15:53Yeah.
16:00Abby, how do you arouse a lamp?
16:02They're already pretty hard.
16:04That's right.
16:08OK, should we see how everyone went?
16:10The starting initials of these comedians
16:12are T, B, A.
16:14OK, I'll announce them now.
16:16They're T, B and A.
16:19It's Tom, Ben and Abby.
16:21I'm going to try to turn on this one.
16:23Just based on vibe.
16:25Boom. OK, that's my guy.
16:27Right.
16:29I need a pulley system.
16:31I need to make a sound down there while sitting here.
16:33Like if I got some string?
16:35I could pull something and I could make a noise.
16:39Nice.
16:41This looks pretty loud.
16:43So what's the plan?
16:45I'm just going to sit up there and pull the string
16:47and make a loud noise and that's going to go on.
16:53See if it works.
16:55There goes nothing.
16:57Come on.
17:01Oh no, it broke.
17:03Oh no.
17:07OK, I need the rope.
17:09Turns out the yarn's no good.
17:11How are we doing over there?
17:14Yeah, I feel like
17:16this should work.
17:18We'll give this one a go.
17:20OK.
17:22What's happening?
17:32Come on!
17:34I'm going to glue it to the table.
17:36OK.
17:38Oh my God!
17:44I'm just going to go and give it a go.
17:48It's giving me rope burn!
18:06Yes!
18:08Yes!
18:14Stop the clock.
18:16Well done!
18:18What was quite interesting
18:20was watching the difference between
18:22Tom pulling his piece of yarn
18:24like a young school boy pulling on a piece of wool
18:26and then you pulling it
18:28and you look like you're reeling in a marlin.
18:30His yarn was actually digging into
18:32a bit of wall quite hard
18:34and has damaged the house.
18:36I don't think people
18:38appreciate, so there's like
18:40multiple stairwells, right?
18:42You've got to hook it around a whole lot of stuff
18:44to kind of get the pulley system going.
18:46But I don't know, I guess I was just lucky.
18:48It only required a gentle touch, Ben.
18:50It's not my way, Jeremy.
18:52Bullet a gate is how they call me.
18:54He can't help but be an alpha.
18:56Yeah.
18:58Wow!
19:00I hated that.
19:02Abby, you went with the glue.
19:04Yeah, I'm also thankful that
19:06I spent, I would say, a really significant
19:08amount of time trying to turn on the lamp
19:11sexually and I'm glad
19:13they didn't show it.
19:15She did write a letter,
19:17quite a saucy letter
19:19to one of the lamps.
19:21Yeah, the lamp left me on read
19:23unfortunately.
19:25Overall, 28 minutes
19:27and 57 seconds for Abby.
19:29Ben, 25 minutes and 1 second.
19:31And Tom,
19:33a mere 9 minutes and 45 seconds.
19:35Wow!
19:37Have we got time for one more?
19:40We sure do, Jeremy.
19:42And if a lightbulb went off above his head
19:44every time he had a good idea,
19:46this guy's power bill would be through the roof.
19:48It's Tofinga.
19:50I must be seated at the desk
19:52in the study.
19:54So you want us to bring the desk
19:56down?
19:58Yep, in the seat.
20:00You'll be seated at the desk
20:02that's in the study, but the desk will be here?
20:04Yeah.
20:06Okay.
20:10Laughter
20:12Laughter
20:14This one's cool, eh?
20:16Laughter
20:18Laughter
20:20Laughter
20:22Laughter
20:24Laughter
20:26You need a handbook?
20:28It's okay.
20:30Laughter
20:32Laughter
20:34Laughter
20:36Laughter
20:38Tell me when.
20:40Ready.
20:42Laughter
20:44Issa!
20:46Applause
20:48Thank you, Paul.
20:50Should I take the desk back up then?
20:52Uh, yeah, if you could do that, please, mate.
20:54Okay.
20:56Applause
20:58Oh my god.
21:00Matt, you gotta say that I think you found quite a good loophole.
21:02Yeah, um,
21:04work smarter, not harder.
21:07And where did it say that you had to be in the study?
21:09The wording was, at the desk in the study.
21:11I think I can say that
21:13we will accept Toffinger's
21:15efforts, and I think
21:17he'll be judged on his time.
21:19And I'm sure his time was
21:21incredibly fast.
21:23Well, the desk was quite heavy.
21:25So 28 minutes and 28 seconds.
21:27Well, that's on you.
21:29He can't be blamed for the laziness of his staff.
21:31Honestly, 28,
21:33if you knew how hard it was to move that desk,
21:36Well, team Toffinger, we appreciate that.
21:38We appreciate your service.
21:40We've just seen four comedians approach
21:42to turning on a lamp.
21:44So, what on earth has the other one done?
21:46We'll find out after the break.
21:48See you soon.
21:50Applause
21:52Music
21:54Music
21:56Music
21:58Applause
22:00Welcome back to Taskmaster,
22:02New Zealand's most cutting edge TV show.
22:04Tonight, we're watching people turn on lamps.
22:06Yes, but this isn't your
22:08grandmother's lamp turning on TV show.
22:10Alright, Paul, let's see how
22:12our last contestant went.
22:14Like I'm greeting a friend whose first name is Lee
22:16and surname is Sproul.
22:18Hey, Lee Sproul.
22:20I'm gonna go for this guy,
22:22I think.
22:24OK, I need to time
22:26something loud. OK.
22:28You're gonna
22:30have to be so quiet, Paul.
22:33OK.
22:35OK.
22:39How will I know?
22:41Did it happen, Paul?
22:43You told me
22:45not to make noise.
22:49Did it not turn on?
22:51No. Did the jug boil?
22:53Yeah.
22:57OK, I'm gonna try again.
22:59It's not a candle, lately.
23:02Oh, bastard.
23:04It's not a candle.
23:18Did it work? Yes.
23:20When I was upstairs? No.
23:22When? You were on the stairs.
23:24I think the jug
23:26boiled too quickly because it was
23:28hot.
23:30Can I call out your name and call back to me?
23:32I'm just scared that my voice might
23:34activate the light. That's the point,
23:36that's not a rule though, that can't happen.
23:42Paul!
23:46Is it on? I thought you called me.
23:48No!
23:50Just say yes.
23:52Paul, if you can hear me, say
23:54I hear you! Yes, I can hear you.
23:56OK.
23:59What do you mean?
24:01Did you hear me call Paul?
24:03Not well. Right, but you heard it.
24:05Yeah.
24:07I'll say, Paul!
24:09Hello.
24:11But wait till I'm upstairs,
24:13and then you're gonna go, yes!
24:15Yes!
24:17The jug only just ended.
24:19Are you gonna boil the jug?
24:21OK, Paul, I'm abandoning the jug.
24:23You didn't give the jug a chance.
24:25I gave it three chances. I don't think so.
24:27Hey, hey, hey!
24:33Paul!
24:35Yes!
24:39How loud did you?
24:41Loud.
24:43Shot example for me.
24:45Yes!
24:47It's Paul.
24:49I think the jug is a good idea.
24:51OK, are you ready?
24:53Yeah.
24:56OK.
25:08Did it all work?
25:10Yeah. OK.
25:12Do you want a cup of tea?
25:14Um...
25:20That just about killed me.
25:22Just about killed you.
25:25How many times did Hayley yell at you?
25:2719.
25:29But then, basically, Paul was telling you,
25:31use the jug.
25:33The jug was working well for you.
25:35It wasn't, but I was like, it's taking too long.
25:37And you may see me going like this the whole time.
25:39The room was getting so hot with the jug steam.
25:41And I was running up and down the stairs,
25:43then making that room hot.
25:45It was just hot.
25:47So I was like, let's just use a human.
25:49Should we talk timings?
25:51Yes, so Hayley, 19 minutes and 56 seconds.
25:53So one point for Abbey,
25:55two points for Tuffinger,
25:57three points for Ben,
25:59four points for Hayley,
26:01and the winner with five points, Tom Sainsbury.
26:03I never win anything!
26:05Would you do me the honour
26:07of bringing me another task, please, Paul?
26:09If you hate spoilers,
26:11and you'd like to run to the bathroom
26:13or go and get some popcorn or a choc-top,
26:15this next task is the time to do it.
26:23Hello, Paul.
26:25Hello, Abbey.
26:27You all right, Paul?
26:29Hello, Tuffinger.
26:31What have we got here?
26:33Okay, we've got genres here.
26:35Give it a nice, firm spin.
26:45Courtroom drama.
26:47Fantasy.
26:49Martial arts.
26:53Sci-fi.
26:55I would kind of hope for war.
27:01Do I have to make a 15-minute short film
27:03that's a sword and sand?
27:05Film a trailer for a movie about this trailer.
27:07This trailer?
27:09Yeah.
27:11In the style of your given genre.
27:13Best trailer, trailer wins.
27:15You have 45 minutes.
27:17Your time starts now.
27:19It has to be about the trailer.
27:22It has to feature prominently, I think.
27:24Does it have to be a trailer?
27:26You can use this any way you want.
27:28I could turn it into a spaceship.
27:30It's sort of military grey, isn't it?
27:32Yeah, I think this is like a military courtroom drama.
27:34I don't know what kind of fantasy to go about.
27:36Fantasy as in, like, elves.
27:38Or fantasy as in the stuff that I think about.
27:46Abbey, your mind has gone straight to war.
27:48Yes, I'd be lying if I said
27:51I didn't enjoy military strategy.
27:53What?
27:55It makes sense. It's like a puzzle,
27:57except people die.
27:59Whose trailer are we going to see first?
28:01Up first, with his martial arts trailer trailer,
28:03it's Tofinga.
28:05What are you doing here?
28:07I live here.
28:09In this trailer?
28:11Uh-huh.
28:13Why don't your family love you?
28:15I'm nobody.
28:17And I'll always be nobody.
28:19I'll make you into somebody.
28:21Inhale.
28:23Exhale.
28:29Nobody.
28:31It's all in the balance.
28:35You can do it.
28:41And now your final challenge.
28:43To defeat the trailer.
28:49Amazing.
28:53Speed.
28:55That hurt.
28:59Nobody.
29:01Are you ready?
29:03I'm ready.
29:05Nobody. You are now somebody.
29:15I love a training montage
29:18My main piece of advice is inhale, outhale.
29:20It's a beautiful mantra.
29:22Sometimes you've just got to remember to breathe.
29:24Why did you choose to kick the trailer so weakly?
29:28Well, monthly didn't seem like enough kick.
29:34Okay, well that's enough terrible short films
29:36made by amateurs for now.
29:38It's time to watch some terrible short films
29:40made by professionals, the ads.
29:42We'll see you after these.
29:48Welcome back to Taskmaster,
29:50the show where comedians go head-to-head
29:52in the hopes of winning a souvenir
29:54from Ben Hurley's glory days.
29:56Paul, what are we doing here?
29:58Our contestants have been tasked
30:00with making a trailer,
30:02featuring a trailer in their randomly selected genre.
30:04Who's up next, Paul?
30:06It's Ben and his trailer for a courtroom drama.
30:08It's Ben and his trailer for a courtroom drama.
30:10It's Ben and his trailer for a courtroom drama.
30:12It's Ben and his trailer for a courtroom drama.
30:14It's Ben and his trailer for a courtroom drama.
30:17In a world of war...
30:19Direct your fire, it's a trailer!
30:21It's that Yankee trailer!
30:23There are leaders...
30:25and trailers.
30:27We're under heavy fire!
30:29I'm going in alone!
30:31You stay where you are, soldier.
30:33Sometimes, a trailer...
30:39doesn't want to trail.
30:41Hey!
30:43No!
30:45Retreat! Retreat!
30:49Trailer, that charge you pulled
30:51might have killed all of the enemy,
30:53but you put everybody in a platoon at risk.
30:55You're under arrest!
30:57What?
30:59Order! Order!
31:01I'm a trailer,
31:03not a traitor.
31:05Sometimes the strongest...
31:07Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
31:10come from behind.
31:12Oh, sure.
31:14Sometimes his indicators ain't working,
31:16but you will see that the only thing
31:18that my client is guilty of
31:20is being the bravest damn trailer
31:22this man's army has ever seen!
31:24Surely a trailer is supposed to be behind a car!
31:26In a way,
31:28aren't we all trailers?
31:30Bailiff,
31:32what is your verdict?
31:34The jury finds the defendant...
31:37a few good trailers.
31:47Maybe it says something about me,
31:49but I really want to see that.
31:51There's a little bit of that trailer in all of us.
31:53Can you tell us?
31:55What was the verdict?
31:57Was it guilty or not guilty?
31:59You'll find out this spring.
32:01I thought the CG on the trailer
32:03was pretty amazing.
32:05Also, in terms of strategy,
32:07I think just rushing the enemy
32:09never really works very well.
32:11Yeah, right.
32:13What about the charge of the light brigade?
32:15Checkmate.
32:17Okay, Paul,
32:19give me another trailer trailer, please.
32:21Up next with her science fiction trailer trailer,
32:23Lights, Camera, Abbey.
32:29Video log 4573,
32:31day 57.
32:34Day 56,
32:36year 27,
32:38month 9.
32:40Time to cool off
32:42your bits, Houston.
32:44I think I've finally found us a planet.
32:46Initiating landing sequence.
32:56This is a small step for man,
32:58but a giant leap
33:00for me.
33:02Because I've got short legs.
33:08Atmosphere seems pretty clear to me.
33:10Vegetation is sparse,
33:12but the soil is dead.
33:18What's this?
33:20There shouldn't be
33:22a broom here.
33:26I've got to get back on the ship.
33:29Captain's log.
33:31Captain's log.
33:33I've just been outside into the planet.
33:35There's someone there.
33:37Get me out of here.
33:39If I don't come back, please,
33:41pass on a message to my son.
33:43I'm sorry.
33:45I'm not responding.
33:47What do you mean you're not responding?
33:49I've got to get off this planet.
33:59I did not see that creep coming at the end.
34:01Jean-Pierre.
34:03Jean-Pierre from
34:05Abbey's Goal Celebration.
34:07Of course.
34:09Episode 1.
34:11Yeah, I also realised I used,
34:13I really relied on my acting
34:15to sell that.
34:17And I shouldn't have.
34:19Well, the interesting part
34:21was you said it in the future
34:23in 2027.
34:25Yeah, yeah.
34:28Which for someone of my age is only about
34:30three provisional tax payments away.
34:32Oh, you know our boy
34:34Elon Musk, he'll get us up there.
34:36Okay, who's next, Paul?
34:38It's time for a sword and sandals epic.
34:40Here's Tom Sainsbury.
34:42In a world of swords
34:44and Birkenstock sandals,
34:46there was Lactatious
34:48and his chariot trailer.
34:50Quick, Lactatious.
34:52The Williamsonites are taking the citadel.
34:54Well, I'm not going
34:56anywhere without my chariot trailer.
35:02Jesus Zeus,
35:04you made me a gladiator.
35:06Lactatious, you must
35:08fight the wild beasts for the
35:10entertainment of the people!
35:16Yes!
35:24As a reward
35:26for killing that rhino
35:28right and proper, we're sending you
35:30across the Mediterranean.
35:34Here I am,
35:36on the shores of Breastodonius.
35:38Will I ever be reunited
35:40with my chariot trailer ever again?
35:44Anguish!
35:46Will Lactatious
35:48ever be reunited
35:50with his chariot trailer
35:53into cinemas 2025?
35:59Really good.
36:01Okay Tom, so any reason why you decided that
36:03Paul would suit the name Lactatious?
36:05I don't know where that came from.
36:07I think, you know, there were lots of nude mannequins
36:09floating about and I think it was just playing on
36:11I think the female form
36:13was just playing on my mind.
36:15Some boys just look like they like milk.
36:17You do like milk.
36:19I like milk a lot.
36:22Alright, there should be one last
36:24trailer, is there?
36:26That's right, and it's a fantasy trailer
36:28from the twisted mind of Hayley Sproul.
36:30Once upon a time
36:32in Faydale, where a myriad
36:34of creatures once roamed free,
36:36a wary fairy
36:38and a travelling beast
36:40form one of the deepest relationships
36:42of all time.
36:44Hello fairy.
36:46Hello travelling beast.
36:48What sell you in that trailer of yours?
36:50If you want to see the wares of my trailer,
36:52you have to come inside it.
36:54I have little in the way of money.
36:56Perhaps you could pay me, travelling beast,
36:58in other ways.
37:00I have literally no money.
37:02Hmm, perhaps you could instead
37:04f*** me.
37:06F*** me, shove it in.
37:08F***
37:10F***
37:12Up the c*** and then I'll f*** you.
37:14F***
37:16Then you can f*** and I have one of those.
37:19What say you, beast?
37:21Okay.
37:23Grab on.
37:25The Lust of the Fairies.
37:27A tale of love,
37:29betrayal and an
37:31unexpected pregnancy.
37:37Will I ever see you again?
37:39I don't know. If my father
37:41finds out I literally f***ed the
37:43living c*** out of a travelling beast,
37:45he'll never forgive me.
37:48You are no daughter of mine.
37:50Run, beast. You must go.
37:52Now. Go, beast.
37:54Leave.
37:56A wary fairy and a travelling beast
37:58face a
38:00father's wrath
38:02for love.
38:04Pregnant.
38:12Wow.
38:14I wasn't actually aware they were going to bleep that.
38:16That's a great story I've got to say.
38:18I got a bit hot under the...
38:20Well, that's what it's supposed to do.
38:22It's really leaning into that sort of smut era.
38:24It makes me feel physically sick.
38:26The look on your face when the fairy
38:28explained what she was going to do to you.
38:30You've never heard those words before.
38:32No. And I haven't heard them since.
38:34Yet you still went,
38:36Okay.
38:38Alright.
38:40This is going to be quite hard to score because
38:42I really enjoyed all of those.
38:45I'm going to give Abby a point.
38:47I'm going to give Tom two points because I think
38:49as a published director and actor
38:51I was expecting a lot.
38:53Oh dear. Fair call.
38:55I think Tofinga should get three points.
38:57Four points for Hayley
38:59and I thought five points for Ben Hurley.
39:01I thought that was very good.
39:03Yay!
39:05Okay. We're about to cut to some ads
39:07but if you make it through them
39:09I've got a real treat for you.
39:11A special live task.
39:13We'll be back right after this.
39:27Welcome back to Taskmaster
39:29where our five brave comedians are about to take
39:31to the stage for a live task.
39:33But first, let's see who's in
39:35with a chance of winning this episode.
39:37Paul, what are the scores?
39:39It's very close.
39:42It's Ben and Tofinga
39:44and in first equal on twelve
39:46it's Hayley and Tom.
39:48Nice and close. Here we go.
39:50About time.
39:52And Abby's on four.
39:54Humbling, yeah.
39:56Let's get on with our
39:58live tasking. Contestants, please
40:00head up to the stage.
40:06Okay Paul, what sick twisted game
40:08have you thought up for us tonight?
40:11Hayley, could you please do us the honours of explaining it?
40:13It would be my honour.
40:15In your teams, take turns
40:17to each roll an office chair
40:19towards the edge of the stage.
40:21You must roll your chair from behind the line.
40:23The closest team
40:25chair to the edge of the stage
40:27wins one point.
40:29Any chairs that go over the edge
40:31will lose their team one point.
40:33Best score over three rounds
40:35wins.
40:37Oh, wow.
40:39I'm happy with that.
40:41Black team.
40:51Oh, amazing.
40:57Oh, it's a nice shot though.
40:59Slightly curly.
41:02Oh!
41:04Beautiful, that's perfect.
41:08Oh, my God!
41:1240.5
41:1432. Yes!
41:18Yeah, nice.
41:20Go, go, go, go, go.
41:22Oh, that's so good.
41:24That is so good.
41:28Good.
41:31Oh, no, too much.
41:33No, you're right. It's OK.
41:37You got us a couple of centimetres there.
41:39Yeah, yeah.
41:41Oh.
41:43No!
41:45Yes!
41:47No!
41:4930. One point for team red.
41:51We need to get all of these off
41:53and we need to win one.
41:57Oh, smart.
42:01Oh, that's a beautiful roll.
42:05Oh, you did it.
42:07It's already done.
42:09Oh!
42:13Oh!
42:17Minus one for black.
42:19I'm going to play it too safe.
42:21Place is there.
42:23Can you still compel?
42:25I think if she crosses the line
42:27and touches the ground, it's void.
42:29It's a fun sponge over here.
42:31OK.
42:33Hang on!
42:35Yeah!
42:37Minus one.
42:39Yeah!
42:41Minus two.
42:43One to go.
42:49Minus four.
42:51Plus one for black.
42:55We're going into sudden death.
42:58One roller from each team
43:00closest to the edge of the stage
43:02wins.
43:04Three, two, one.
43:06Too much.
43:08Oh!
43:12That's one of the best things
43:14I've ever seen in my life.
43:16Come on down and we'll score it.
43:24I really enjoyed that, Paul.
43:27Team black won. How do you want to score it?
43:29How about team of two get two points.
43:31Team of three get three points.
43:33OK.
43:37So how's everything looking
43:39for the overall series results so far?
43:41It's unbelievably close.
43:43There's only five points in it,
43:45but with a one-point lead in first,
43:47it's Hayley Sproul!
43:51But what about tonight's winner?
43:53With 15 points,
43:55the winner of episode three is
43:57Tom Sainsbury!
43:59Congratulations, Tom!
44:01You're now the proud owner
44:03of some things that I have never owned myself.
44:05Head up to the stage
44:07and enjoy your haul!
44:11Alright, as we wrap up another successful episode,
44:13it's time to look back
44:15and reflect on what we've learned.
44:17We've learned that sometimes a wall
44:19has a hole in it for a reason.
44:21We've learned it's a lot easier to turn on a lamp
44:24when you're in the same room as it.
44:26We've learned that there is life on other planets
44:28and it looks a lot like
44:30Paul Williams.
44:32But most importantly of all,
44:34we've learned that Tom Sainsbury
44:36is the winner of episode three.
44:38Ka kite anō!
44:54Choo-hoo!
44:56Tell me more.
44:58It's season five and we're running
45:00out of ideas.
45:02That's hot.
45:04Oh no! My man!
45:06This all makes me think maybe I need to get tested.
45:08You know what? I don't want any points.
45:10That task was dumb.
45:12It's probably my favourite task of all time.