Me and the Cult Leader

  • last month
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Transcript
00:00:00The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:00:29The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:00:38The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:00:47The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:00:57The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:01:27The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:01:42The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:02:00The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:02:10The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:02:25The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:02:55The train will soon arrive at the station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform.
00:03:15More than 6,200 people, 13 of whom were dead, were injured.
00:03:21That morning, I got on the train and was exposed to gas. I became a victim.
00:03:29For 20 years, I have been struggling with fatigue, numbness in my hands and feet, and PTSD.
00:03:37I thought I had to make my true identity clear.
00:03:44I contacted the current director.
00:03:49Mr. Araki still believes in the Asahara Shogunate.
00:03:55After a year of negotiations, we started filming.
00:04:02Let's go for a walk.
00:04:05You're wearing a different sandal today.
00:04:08This is the biggest one.
00:04:10This is the biggest one, isn't it?
00:04:20I don't have enough training to wear this.
00:04:25You always wear it.
00:04:28I don't always wear it.
00:04:33You've been wearing it since you left.
00:04:36From December to March.
00:04:39Do you wear someone else's clothes in the facility?
00:04:44No.
00:04:47I don't usually do that.
00:04:50What?
00:04:52I don't usually do that.
00:04:54The person who testified the other day...
00:05:01When I returned to Shibuya Homes,
00:05:04Mr. Katsuya Takahashi was eating onigiri.
00:05:10I don't understand the situation.
00:05:12I don't understand the situation.
00:05:15I told you.
00:05:17I told you the other day, didn't I?
00:05:22After I wrapped it in saline,
00:05:27I drank the water to wash the tip of the transparent umbrella that was wrapped in saline.
00:05:36I told you, didn't I?
00:05:39I don't believe it, but it's inhuman.
00:05:43It's such an important situation, but you drank the water.
00:05:46I don't think he knew.
00:05:49I think so.
00:05:51I think he felt that way.
00:05:54I feel sorry for him. He was heartless.
00:05:58I feel sorry for him.
00:06:01What's the truth?
00:06:05It was 10 years ago.
00:06:07That's right.
00:06:11Everyone's memories are slightly different.
00:06:14It shouldn't be the same.
00:06:16I don't think it's the same.
00:06:37I don't think it's the same.
00:07:07I don't think it's the same.
00:07:18Can I go in?
00:07:19Yes.
00:07:24There are people everywhere.
00:07:27It's like a loft.
00:07:29The 12th floor?
00:07:31That's right.
00:07:38Do you live here all day?
00:07:40All day, yes.
00:07:42How much do you eat?
00:07:44How much?
00:07:45That's a lot.
00:07:47It's a little too much.
00:07:49What's this?
00:07:51Soy milk.
00:07:55Banana.
00:07:57Natto.
00:08:00Home food.
00:08:02That's home food?
00:08:04Carrots, radishes, and sweet potatoes.
00:08:10What about the taste?
00:08:12There's no seasoning.
00:08:14There's no soy sauce?
00:08:16No.
00:08:18Always?
00:08:20Personally, I like it.
00:08:23Some people put in a little seasoning.
00:08:26What's this?
00:08:28Sesame.
00:08:30No salt?
00:08:31Sesame.
00:08:33Does that mean you give up on the taste?
00:08:38I don't want to stimulate the taste.
00:08:41I don't want to make people happy.
00:08:45I don't want to be trapped by the taste.
00:08:48That's what training is all about.
00:08:51Are we going upstairs?
00:08:54Let's take a look at the loft.
00:08:59Let's go.
00:09:04Why do you make a loft like this?
00:09:07It's like a submarine.
00:09:10It's a good place to stay.
00:09:12A good place to stay?
00:09:14That's all?
00:09:18Who lives here?
00:09:21It's a private space, a meditation space.
00:09:25That's where everyone lives.
00:09:28I don't want to be alone in a large space.
00:09:35I don't want to be lonely.
00:09:39I see.
00:09:41I sleep on a hard floor.
00:09:45You don't want to spoil yourself?
00:09:50I don't want to live in a comfortable environment.
00:09:54How many books do you have today?
00:09:58I've never counted them.
00:10:02It says you don't need them.
00:10:04Can you do it?
00:10:06It depends on the conditions.
00:10:08Can you show me?
00:10:10No.
00:10:14This is a very good initiation.
00:10:17I wonder what the quality of the glue is.
00:10:20I wonder if the glue is working.
00:10:23Do you have it here?
00:10:25Yes, I do.
00:10:27Check!
00:10:30This is also a good initiation.
00:10:33Thanks to the great love of the glue, we were able to survive.
00:10:37There is a mass of suffering.
00:10:40I've been suffering a lot.
00:10:43I have no choice but to go from here.
00:10:46The mass of suffering is the mass of the suffering of the universe.
00:10:51Isn't it my suffering?
00:10:53It's the suffering of the whole universe, not the individual.
00:10:58If I suffer, the suffering of others will decrease.
00:11:02That's the idea of Daijō.
00:11:06But there is also a way of thinking that I'm suffering, so you're having a good life.
00:11:12If the point of view changes.
00:11:15That's right.
00:11:17I'm sorry.
00:11:19But at that time, it's the idea of Daijō.
00:11:24The idea of Daijō.
00:11:26It's the suffering of the whole universe.
00:11:33It's been about 15 years since I've been on the Shinkansen.
00:11:45It's been about 15 years since I've been on the Shinkansen.
00:11:51It's been about 15 years since I've been on the Shinkansen.
00:11:57I'm sure you'll be able to go home soon.
00:12:00I'm not sure if I can go home today.
00:12:04Thank you for taking the Shinkansen today.
00:12:09This train will go to Nozomi.
00:12:13Nozomi?
00:12:15I don't know.
00:12:17I don't know.
00:12:35How is it different from the tanba you know?
00:12:38Is it the same?
00:12:40Is it the same?
00:12:41The mountains around Ichijima are more flat.
00:12:49It doesn't feel so cold.
00:12:53That's true.
00:13:00I guess it's like this.
00:13:11I wonder if the Shinkansen accident really made them angry.
00:13:18I guess they were angry.
00:13:26I've been on the Shinkansen for a long time.
00:13:29I guess they did it.
00:13:32I guess so.
00:13:33I guess so.
00:13:39I'm just saying what I know.
00:13:44If I say it's a lie, it's a lie.
00:13:47I don't have any evidence.
00:13:49As far as I know, that's the most likely.
00:13:57I don't think they've experienced much.
00:14:00They've all lived in the forest.
00:14:03They've all experienced living in the forest.
00:14:06They've all experienced living in the forest.
00:14:12I guess that's why they did it.
00:14:15I wonder why they were angry.
00:14:30I wonder why they were angry.
00:14:34I don't have anyone to talk to.
00:14:44Who is it?
00:14:46It's the police.
00:14:50I don't have anyone to talk to.
00:14:53I'm just circling around.
00:14:56I think it was Kyosuke and Hideyo Murai.
00:15:05I think so.
00:15:06That's what it was like.
00:15:09That's where the order came from.
00:15:11I can tell from this.
00:15:13I can only tell from this.
00:15:18Everyone's speculations based on their situation.
00:15:22That's what's different.
00:15:25The judges of the Kojima case.
00:15:27They have to decide on a verdict.
00:15:31That's what they're doing.
00:15:36But there's a lot of...
00:15:38If...
00:15:39It's a hypothetical question.
00:15:43It might be hard to answer.
00:15:45If Kyosuke was not there,
00:15:51would Kyosuke's victory be lost?
00:15:56Or would Kyosuke accept it as a human error?
00:16:21If you go to Fukuchiyama,
00:16:24it's close to Ayagi's house.
00:16:32Let's go.
00:16:39It's a shopping district.
00:16:43What kind of shopping district?
00:16:45A shopping district.
00:16:47Inokiyama Shopping District.
00:16:54Inokiyama Shopping District
00:16:59What kind of tree is this?
00:17:03I don't know.
00:17:06Kyoto University is not a big deal.
00:17:11I'm not interested.
00:17:14I don't want to learn.
00:17:16I don't know.
00:17:17My mother taught me a lot.
00:17:20She's still alive.
00:17:22She's still alive.
00:17:30What did you think when I contacted you?
00:17:35I read your book.
00:17:38To be honest,
00:17:44when the book was published,
00:17:48I didn't read it properly.
00:17:52My colleague, Sabana, read it first.
00:17:58He bought it and read it.
00:18:00He told me what it was about.
00:18:04I was unconsciously working as a brake.
00:18:07Why?
00:18:13I don't know what to say.
00:18:16The victim of the forest fire
00:18:21was taken to the fire department.
00:18:25He was married.
00:18:29They got divorced.
00:18:34They had a fight.
00:18:40He was still alive.
00:18:43I got a message from him.
00:18:52I had the impression that
00:18:55he had finally woken up.
00:19:00I have a question.
00:19:04Do your siblings
00:19:08have nothing to do with you?
00:19:11Do they have nothing to do with me?
00:19:14Is that what you mean?
00:19:18Did you quit?
00:19:20Yes, I did.
00:19:39I left home.
00:19:42I left my family.
00:19:45I left my family.
00:19:47But
00:19:51you can't be free from your family.
00:19:54That's right.
00:19:56No matter what.
00:19:57As long as you know what to do.
00:19:59That's what family is.
00:20:09When I left home,
00:20:11I didn't achieve anything.
00:20:14That's obvious.
00:20:17When did you leave home?
00:20:30I left home.
00:20:33What does that mean?
00:20:35What does it mean to leave home?
00:20:37It's easy to understand.
00:20:39It's liberation from karma.
00:20:41Karma is a condition for a person's existence.
00:20:48It's good for you,
00:20:50but it's not good for your family.
00:20:57According to Buddhist teachings,
00:21:02if you leave home,
00:21:04you will become a family member of your parents.
00:21:15I believe that.
00:21:20I was hospitalized for three weeks.
00:21:22After that,
00:21:24I stayed at home for a month.
00:21:26Did you stay at home?
00:21:28Yes, I did.
00:21:30I stayed at home with my family.
00:21:37At that time,
00:21:39you came back to this world.
00:21:43Yes.
00:21:44How did you come back?
00:21:47I talked a lot during that time.
00:21:51In my own way.
00:21:53I see.
00:21:57As a result,
00:21:59before I was admitted to the hospital,
00:22:01in 1992,
00:22:07I was hospitalized.
00:22:09In 1994,
00:22:11I was discharged in May.
00:22:15During that time,
00:22:17I didn't talk much.
00:22:19I talked to my family
00:22:21for about a month.
00:22:23After that,
00:22:25I talked to my family.
00:22:31I didn't go out of my house.
00:22:33I mean,
00:22:37I talked to my family,
00:22:39but I didn't go out of my house.
00:22:43I didn't go out of my house.
00:22:47I was forced to go out of my house.
00:22:51Who stopped you?
00:22:53What?
00:22:54When you were discharged?
00:22:55What?
00:22:56Who stopped you?
00:22:57Everyone stopped me.
00:22:59Everyone?
00:23:00The person I knew
00:23:02who stopped me
00:23:04when I was discharged...
00:23:06What year was it?
00:23:08It was May 1994.
00:23:10It was exactly 10 months
00:23:12before I was discharged.
00:23:14Yes.
00:23:17Well...
00:23:23Before I could tell my family
00:23:25how I felt,
00:23:31I left my house.
00:23:33Before I could tell my family
00:23:35how I felt,
00:23:37I left my house.
00:23:39I didn't go out of my house
00:23:41for a long time.
00:23:43I didn't go out of my house
00:23:46for a long time.
00:23:48I was in a relationship
00:23:50that I couldn't tell my family.
00:23:52You were discharged
00:23:54without being able to tell your family.
00:23:56I was discharged
00:23:58without being able to tell my family.
00:24:00I was discharged
00:24:02without being able to tell my family.
00:24:04I don't know
00:24:06if I could tell my family
00:24:08what I felt
00:24:11when I was discharged.
00:24:13when I was discharged.
00:24:15when I was discharged.
00:24:41It hurts.
00:24:43It hurts.
00:24:46Yeah, it does.
00:24:51Ouch, ouch.
00:24:53Oh, no.
00:24:55Oh, no.
00:24:57It hurts.
00:24:59What matters is the voice and the result.
00:25:01What matters is the voice and the result.
00:25:03What matters is the voice and the result.
00:25:05No, it don't.
00:25:07No, it don't.
00:25:09This is amazing.
00:25:13It's amazing, isn't it?
00:25:14I'm going to cut it.
00:25:15Take a look.
00:25:16It's thin and flat.
00:25:17You can't take it off like this.
00:25:19It's a retirement.
00:25:23Look, look, look.
00:25:24I cut it cleanly, didn't I?
00:25:31Ishinage Meiji.
00:25:34Yes.
00:25:38Shall we go?
00:25:39Yes.
00:25:40Let's go.
00:25:55It's tough.
00:25:56It's a good job.
00:25:59How long are you going to do this?
00:26:01How long are you going to do this?
00:26:03It was a good stone.
00:26:04What?
00:26:05I think it was a good stone.
00:26:06It was a good stone?
00:26:09Let's go.
00:26:10What?
00:26:11Let's go.
00:26:12I don't know.
00:26:15Are you satisfied now?
00:26:17What?
00:26:18Ishinage is good.
00:26:19It doesn't bother anyone.
00:26:21It doesn't cost money.
00:26:22That's the spirit.
00:26:23That's the spirit.
00:26:27This bridge used to be a small wooden bridge.
00:26:35When I was a kid, my sister used to get angry at me when I was under this bridge.
00:26:47Do you know why she gets angry?
00:26:48What?
00:26:49Do you know why she gets angry?
00:26:50She gets angry when I get angry.
00:26:52She gets angry when her older brother gets angry.
00:26:57Did she get angry?
00:26:58Did she get angry?
00:27:00What?
00:27:01Did she get angry at you?
00:27:02I can't react to it.
00:27:03I see.
00:27:06At night, you know the line 9 over there?
00:27:10Yes.
00:27:12The car lights were moving.
00:27:16I thought everyone was going to that direction, so I looked at the night.
00:27:21I see.
00:27:23That's why Takara's world is a place where you can look around.
00:27:28That's right.
00:27:33It's beautiful, isn't it?
00:27:34Yes.
00:27:39How is it?
00:27:41How many years has it been?
00:27:42How many years has it been?
00:27:48I came here when I was sick.
00:27:51Why?
00:27:53To see my grandmother.
00:27:54To see your grandmother?
00:27:56Yes.
00:27:58It's been 11 years.
00:28:03It's beautiful, isn't it?
00:28:04It feels like the mountains of Tamba, doesn't it?
00:28:06It's beautiful, isn't it?
00:28:10It's different from our mountains.
00:28:12It's a shame, but it doesn't feel like the mountains of Tamba.
00:28:18This is Tamba.
00:28:20That's Tamba, too.
00:28:21That's Tamba, too.
00:28:36We will soon arrive at Tamba Takeda.
00:28:44Is this the station where I went to see my grandmother at the end of the movie?
00:28:52Oh, I see.
00:28:58You don't get off here, do you?
00:28:59I don't get off here.
00:29:01Do you want to see it?
00:29:07The door of the car behind you will not open, so please get off from the front door of the car in front of you.
00:29:16This way?
00:29:20This train is bound for Sasayama.
00:29:37Please wait a moment for the departure of the other train.
00:29:46Do you remember?
00:29:47What?
00:29:48About your grandmother.
00:30:06I don't remember.
00:30:30Is it around here?
00:30:33The station.
00:30:36The station.
00:30:45It takes about 15 minutes to walk.
00:31:06This is the intersection.
00:31:36Please hurry to the station in front of you.
00:32:04What did you eat?
00:32:05What did you eat when you were a child?
00:32:12I ate salt mackerel.
00:32:13What?
00:32:14I ate salt mackerel.
00:32:15Salt mackerel?
00:32:16I ate Yanagawa fish.
00:32:19Was it your mother's favorite food?
00:32:24I liked salt mackerel.
00:32:25Did you like it?
00:32:26I ate Yanagawa fish.
00:32:27I was good at cooking.
00:32:31I don't have much variation.
00:32:34That's about it, isn't it?
00:32:44The station.
00:32:48I remember when I got off the train.
00:32:57It's far away.
00:33:04I remember the scene when I was leaving the station.
00:33:09I remember the farewell I had with that person.
00:33:15Was it 10 years ago?
00:33:16Yes, it was 10 years ago.
00:33:17Or maybe it was when I was living here.
00:33:25Things like this don't disappear easily.
00:33:29I see.
00:33:41It's hard to go on a business trip.
00:33:42What?
00:33:43It's hard to go on a business trip.
00:33:44It's hard?
00:33:45Now?
00:33:49It's not just physical.
00:33:51Things like this remain in my heart and memory.
00:34:00It's not just that I went on a business trip.
00:34:07It's because I couldn't do what I couldn't do.
00:34:11Things that are out there.
00:34:13Things I've experienced.
00:34:21Yes.
00:34:39The taste of black beans is amazing.
00:34:42It's the taste of black beans.
00:34:44It's connected to my memory.
00:34:47That's right.
00:34:48That's right.
00:34:50This is a big shrine.
00:34:54Yes, it is.
00:34:55Was it this big?
00:34:57It's different from what I remember.
00:35:02I was playing in the back yard of the shrine.
00:35:11So I don't remember much.
00:35:19It's a solid shrine.
00:35:21Yes, it is.
00:35:22It's like a temple.
00:35:31Can you go to the back of the shrine?
00:35:33What?
00:35:34To the back of the shrine.
00:35:35What's there?
00:35:37There's a tree.
00:35:41I came here.
00:35:42It's not a shrine.
00:35:43What?
00:35:44It's outside the shrine.
00:35:45Oh, you came here to play?
00:35:48What were you doing here?
00:35:53I wonder what I was doing here.
00:35:55You can't take pictures here with a camera.
00:35:59I didn't have a camera.
00:36:02It's a cicada, isn't it?
00:36:04What?
00:36:05It's a cicada, isn't it?
00:36:06Cicada?
00:36:07Cicada?
00:36:12When I was a kid, I used to come here for summer, winter, and spring vacations.
00:36:24I used to go to my mother's house in Shichigata.
00:36:30She was the oldest grandmother in the family.
00:36:33She took good care of me.
00:36:37We spent a lot of time together.
00:36:41She let me do whatever I wanted to do.
00:36:49During summer vacation, we spent 5 or 3 weeks together.
00:36:59When summer vacation was coming to an end, I had to go somewhere else.
00:37:08At that time, I came here alone with my brother.
00:37:13When it was time to go home, my brother came to see me off at the station.
00:37:21At that time, I felt a little sad.
00:37:36Did you want to say goodbye?
00:37:38Yes.
00:37:40I cried all the time.
00:37:42What?
00:37:43I cried all the time.
00:37:44Did you like her that much when you said goodbye to her?
00:37:47Yes.
00:37:52Yes, I did.
00:37:56But I was worried about her the most.
00:37:59Were you worried about her?
00:38:02Did you worry about her after you went home?
00:38:04Did you worry about her after you went home?
00:38:21She was sick when she was a child.
00:38:24Was she sick?
00:38:25Yes.
00:38:26I see.
00:38:27I see.
00:38:32She has already moved to Osaka.
00:38:36She has already moved to Osaka.
00:38:38What?
00:38:39She has already moved to Osaka.
00:38:40I see.
00:38:42Did you move to Osaka?
00:38:43Yes.
00:38:44How far did you move?
00:38:47I don't know.
00:38:48I don't know.
00:38:52I thought she would stay here for a long time.
00:39:00I think it's been about three months.
00:39:02How old is she?
00:39:03She is still in kindergarten.
00:39:05She is still in kindergarten.
00:39:09She was in the middle of her second year of kindergarten.
00:39:15She was in the middle of her second year of kindergarten.
00:39:18I see.
00:39:23What kind of illness did she have?
00:39:25What kind of illness did she have?
00:39:26She had a kidney disease.
00:39:28She had a kidney disease.
00:39:31She couldn't speak well.
00:39:36She had a fever.
00:39:39She had a fever.
00:39:41She had a fever.
00:39:42She had a fever.
00:39:45She had an emergency surgery.
00:39:47I see.
00:39:48She was in kindergarten.
00:39:54She was in the same class as me.
00:40:01I don't remember her name.
00:40:02She was quite heavy.
00:40:11She was quite heavy.
00:40:17She wasn't aware that she was sick.
00:40:32What made her sick wasn't just a fever.
00:40:37What made her sick wasn't just a fever.
00:40:47I don't know if I can answer that.
00:40:49No, no, no.
00:40:55It's not just about dying, it's about living.
00:40:59I think the human life is very unstable.
00:41:04The train is arriving at the platform.
00:41:09The train is arriving at the platform.
00:41:16The train is arriving at the platform.
00:41:34Do you still think it's right?
00:41:45Do you still think it's wonderful?
00:41:53I think it's right to recognize a dead person as a dead person.
00:42:00Is that so?
00:42:02Do you still think it's wonderful?
00:42:05Yes.
00:42:07So you don't doubt it, but you think it's wonderful.
00:42:15You don't doubt it, but you think it's wonderful.
00:42:21Which one do you prefer?
00:42:24I don't know everything.
00:42:30There are many mysteries.
00:42:35There are many darknesses.
00:42:40There are many things I don't know.
00:42:45What do you mean by darkness?
00:42:48Do you mean that you can't see?
00:42:50I mean all of that.
00:43:00But that's...
00:43:06That's what the trial is about.
00:43:11Many students testify.
00:43:14I don't care about that at all.
00:43:21I'm physically damaged.
00:43:25I can't open my eyes.
00:43:28I'm tired and I can't open my eyes.
00:43:31I want you to tell me that I'm your friend.
00:43:37I want you to tell me who did it.
00:43:42I'm sorry I can't tell you.
00:43:45I want you to tell me.
00:43:47I want you to tell me.
00:43:49If you think it's your friend,
00:43:52what should I do?
00:44:04I can't deny the fact that I'm here.
00:44:07I'm living with this for 24 hours.
00:44:13I can't open my eyes because I'm tired.
00:44:18What should I do?
00:44:20What should I think?
00:44:22What should I do?
00:44:49I can't explain it.
00:44:52I can't explain it.
00:44:54I can't.
00:45:22I can't.
00:45:53I told you.
00:45:55It's not perfect.
00:45:57What?
00:45:58It's not perfect.
00:45:59Really?
00:46:01I lived with you.
00:46:03But...
00:46:05I went far away and it was my house.
00:46:07It's the worst.
00:46:12I went far away and it was my house.
00:46:14My classmate's mother did it.
00:46:16It's terrible.
00:46:18I know it well.
00:46:19What?
00:46:20I know it well.
00:46:21Who? Me?
00:46:22No.
00:46:25My mother did it.
00:46:26It's terrible.
00:46:37Do you miss it?
00:46:41How long have you been studying abroad?
00:46:43It was in 1987.
00:46:49It was in 1987.
00:46:51What?
00:46:52It was in 1987.
00:46:53Oh, so it's 100 years older than me.
00:46:56Is it?
00:47:01I didn't know there was a park here.
00:47:03I didn't know there was a park here.
00:47:08It's been frozen.
00:47:10It's a waste of space.
00:47:13It's a waste of space.
00:47:15You know, the invasion of Aleph...
00:47:17You know, the invasion of Aleph...
00:47:18I don't think it's going to be easy for us to get help.
00:47:21I don't think so.
00:47:22I don't think so.
00:47:26We have been like this.
00:47:28After the Arrangement Party,
00:47:29After the Arrangement Party,
00:47:30We have been like this.
00:47:31we are not allowed to be here.
00:47:32We are not allowed to be here.
00:47:33Are you a student?
00:47:34Are you a student?
00:47:35Young people are coming here.
00:47:37How many people are coming in?
00:47:42I don't think it's as many as people say.
00:47:49I think it's a few dozen people a year.
00:47:55It's only been a few years, so I don't know how long it's going to last.
00:48:05But I really want to go in and out.
00:48:10I'm working really hard.
00:48:15This is the Kyodai clock tower.
00:48:18Do you have any thoughts?
00:48:20There used to be a large circular classroom under the clock tower.
00:48:33That's where I met Shinrikyo Omu and Asahara-san.
00:48:44That's where I heard the story of Asahara-san and Shinrikyo Omu.
00:48:51At the school festival, a limousine with Asahara-san on it passed by in the rain.
00:49:04There were a lot of people walking around.
00:49:09At that time, I shouted,
00:49:15I shouted.
00:49:18Did you recognize who it was?
00:49:21Everyone was saying that Asahara-san was coming.
00:49:24He was wearing a purple shirt.
00:49:28I think it was just my desire.
00:49:32My friend told me that Asahara-san was coming.
00:49:41I asked him if he had heard the story of Asahara-san last year.
00:49:44He told me that there were people who told him to fly to Asahara-san last year.
00:49:57I'm sorry.
00:49:59I don't know if it's true.
00:50:04This year, one of my brother's baseball players will play.
00:50:09Is it your first time?
00:50:11I don't know, but I rarely play.
00:50:14You said you wouldn't join ALF.
00:50:17Would you like to take this road?
00:50:22It's hard to say.
00:50:24Can you say it?
00:50:26It's not something to say suddenly.
00:50:28Why did you say it suddenly?
00:50:30Would you like to take this road?
00:50:34I'm sorry.
00:50:36Would you like to join ALF?
00:50:38Would you like to take this road?
00:50:41It's funny.
00:50:44If you give me about 5 hours, I'll be polite.
00:50:48If you call me, don't laugh.
00:50:54When I asked you why you didn't join ALF, what kind of reaction did you get?
00:51:00You think you're on this road, don't you?
00:51:05That's right.
00:51:07That's why you say that.
00:51:10I felt uncomfortable.
00:51:13I don't say that.
00:51:15I said it normally.
00:51:18I don't say that.
00:51:21Would you like to take this road?
00:51:25I didn't mean that.
00:51:27Would you like to take this road?
00:51:30I didn't mean that.
00:51:35Would you like to take this road?
00:51:38If it's a circle.
00:51:40That's not the case with baseball.
00:51:44Would you like to take this road?
00:51:47I want to get in front of you before you cut me off.
00:51:51It's funny to say that.
00:51:56I'm betting on it.
00:51:58Would you like to bet on it?
00:52:01I'm not asking you to bet on me.
00:52:05I'm not asking you to bet on me.
00:52:07That's right.
00:52:09I'm asking you to bet on me.
00:52:14I used to work at 7-Eleven.
00:52:17Do you still use 7-Eleven?
00:52:19I used to work at 7-Eleven for a short period of time.
00:52:25Did you work at 7-Eleven here?
00:52:27I worked at 7-Eleven for about half a year.
00:52:31Why did you quit?
00:52:33Because I was going to work.
00:52:35Did you work here right before you went to work?
00:52:40Didn't you go to college?
00:52:43I didn't go to college at that time.
00:52:47If you worked at 7-Eleven, didn't you meet your classmates?
00:52:50I only met my classmates.
00:52:54I only met my classmates.
00:52:57I had a lot of acquaintances.
00:53:01I pretended not to know them.
00:53:05You didn't have to pretend not to know them.
00:53:09Why did you pretend not to know them?
00:53:11I didn't have any feeling of being an outsider.
00:53:15What does that mean?
00:53:18I was in the group, but everyone else was leaving.
00:53:22I was the only one who could get along with others.
00:53:34I didn't listen to anyone.
00:53:37I didn't know what to do.
00:53:41In 1996, I got pregnant and left the house.
00:53:50After the car accident?
00:53:55I don't think they're pregnant.
00:53:58I see.
00:54:08Around here?
00:54:10It's this way.
00:54:12Around here?
00:54:15It's gone.
00:54:17The first floor?
00:54:19The first floor.
00:54:21How much did you make a month?
00:54:2414,000 yen.
00:54:27Without a bath.
00:54:294.5 million yen.
00:54:38I thought it was all gone.
00:54:43That's how much it was worth.
00:54:46Do you remember the day you left the house?
00:54:52I left Takatsuki's house.
00:54:57It was a weekday.
00:55:00I think it was May 14, 1999.
00:55:05My father went to work as usual.
00:55:11We talked until the next day.
00:55:16I think he said,
00:55:18I think he said,
00:55:20I went to work as usual that day.
00:55:27I went to see him off.
00:55:29I don't see him off all the time.
00:55:31I saw him off.
00:55:34I rode my bike to the station.
00:55:43I remember his back.
00:55:45His back?
00:55:46He had his shoulders raised.
00:55:52He didn't turn around.
00:55:54He didn't turn around.
00:56:00I saw him off.
00:56:07My mother and...
00:56:13I think I went to a dojo in Kyoto.
00:56:16There was a dojo called Gojo Horikawa in Kyoto.
00:56:22I paid a visit to the samurai there.
00:56:29I rode a bus from there to Kyoto Station with two Shinto people.
00:56:39I took the Shinkansen from Kyoto.
00:56:44Goodbye.
00:56:50Goodbye.
00:56:58Let's go sightseeing.
00:56:59Sightseeing?
00:57:00Sure.
00:57:01There isn't much to see in Takasuki.
00:57:03This is the most natural area.
00:57:07Do you like nature?
00:57:09I like it.
00:57:10This area is part of my elementary school.
00:57:17It's just a playground.
00:57:28Did you go fishing here?
00:57:31In Koi?
00:57:32Koi?
00:57:34There is a stone called Oikawa over there.
00:57:40Did you go fishing there?
00:57:41Yes, I did.
00:57:43I used to catch fish by hand.
00:57:47There is also a stone on the other side.
00:57:50It must be deep there.
00:57:51Yes, it is.
00:57:53The stones here haven't changed at all.
00:57:57When I was in junior high school, I went to a place called Kumonshiki.
00:58:03It's a math class.
00:58:04It's a famous place that I dropped out of.
00:58:07I went there with a friend of mine.
00:58:10I went there for about a month.
00:58:13On the way back, there was a store that I always stopped by.
00:58:18It was a stationery store.
00:58:21It was an aluminum plate that was the number plate of a car.
00:58:29As I went there, I wanted it more and more.
00:58:34Before that, I didn't have a habit of buying stationery from my parents.
00:58:38When I ran out of stationery, I would buy another one.
00:58:40When I got old, I would buy another one.
00:58:42I didn't have a habit of buying stationery by myself.
00:58:46I bought a lot of things from my friends.
00:58:49Like mechanical pencils and erasers.
00:58:52I wasn't interested in them.
00:58:54As I was going, I started to be interested in a certain pencil case.
00:58:58At one point, I bought it.
00:59:04I still have a pencil case that I can use.
00:59:08I was attracted to the design.
00:59:12I bought it.
00:59:16I bought it.
00:59:22I was really happy.
00:59:26When I went home and opened it,
00:59:36it was different from what I saw at the store.
00:59:41I didn't have a habit of buying stationery.
00:59:44I was attracted to it day by day.
00:59:51I was really attracted to it day by day.
00:59:56A week or 10 days later,
01:00:00I lost my interest in stationery.
01:00:07I thought,
01:00:09Why did I buy this?
01:00:12That's how I felt.
01:00:19I got tired of it.
01:00:23I lost my interest in stationery.
01:00:33If I didn't have that experience,
01:00:35or if I didn't notice it,
01:00:39I wouldn't have gone to the Onmoshinri-kyo.
01:00:42I think it has something to do with it.
01:00:46I don't know if I can say that.
01:00:50I don't know how I felt at that time.
01:00:54I think I noticed it somewhere.
01:00:57I think it has something to do with it.
01:00:59I think it has something to do with it.
01:01:06It looks a little cold today.
01:01:09I'm wearing a shirt underneath.
01:01:11You're wearing a shirt?
01:01:13It looks a little cold.
01:01:14Let's go buy something.
01:01:16It's okay.
01:01:17What?
01:01:18It's okay.
01:01:19It looks like I'm bullying you.
01:01:21That's right.
01:01:25I found it.
01:01:30Thank you very much.
01:01:43This is it.
01:01:47How big is this?
01:01:49Try it on.
01:01:52It fits you.
01:01:57It looks good on you.
01:01:58It's the same as this.
01:02:00No, it's definitely different.
01:02:02It's warm.
01:02:03Let's do this.
01:02:04Is this okay?
01:02:05What?
01:02:07What are you doing?
01:02:12This?
01:02:16It looks good on you.
01:02:21Like this?
01:02:22This and...
01:02:24Right?
01:02:26What's next?
01:02:34Which one do you like better?
01:02:36Which one do you like better?
01:02:38Don't judge me.
01:02:40I'm going to give this to your friend.
01:02:46Which one do you like better?
01:02:51This one.
01:02:52See?
01:02:53It's energetic.
01:02:54You don't feel the pressure.
01:02:55I'm going to give this to your friend.
01:03:01If you die,
01:03:05you won't be buried in the Araki family's grave.
01:03:10That's...
01:03:13That's right.
01:03:16I don't know.
01:03:17So if a child dies,
01:03:20his parents can't visit him.
01:03:23That's right.
01:03:24If that's the case,
01:03:2710 years ago,
01:03:29I don't think he should have died.
01:03:33I'm not saying he should have died.
01:03:35If he was prepared for that,
01:03:39I don't think he should have died.
01:03:42I think that's what a funeral is.
01:03:51I don't think so.
01:03:52If you can take care of him, it's better to keep him alive.
01:03:56No matter what you do?
01:03:58What are you talking about?
01:03:59If he dies, he'll go home in 10 days.
01:04:04That's what you're saying.
01:04:05That's right.
01:04:06I don't think he should have died.
01:04:08That's no good.
01:04:10You're right.
01:04:12Then, as I said before,
01:04:16he has no right to speak.
01:04:18That's what you're saying.
01:04:21Then I won't do it.
01:04:24If you say he has no right to speak, I won't do it.
01:04:26That's what I think.
01:04:27I don't think you should do it.
01:04:28I don't think you should do it.
01:04:31In a sense.
01:04:32I don't think you should do it.
01:04:36In the end,
01:04:37if that's the case,
01:04:39honestly, I think
01:04:43you should live more honestly.
01:04:45If you care about your parents, you should do it.
01:04:51I care about them.
01:04:52You care about them.
01:04:55If I care about them, I should do it.
01:04:58If I care about them, I should do it.
01:05:04If you care about them, you should do it.
01:05:06You shouldn't say,
01:05:09you should do it normally.
01:05:11That's what your actions show.
01:05:13If you're in trouble, you have to ask for help.
01:05:20If you're really in trouble, the only one who can help you is your parents.
01:05:27Without any conditions.
01:05:31When I was sick 11 years ago,
01:05:36no one told me to go to my parents.
01:05:43I understand.
01:05:45But if that's the case, you don't have to go to your parents.
01:05:49You don't have to go to your parents.
01:05:52You don't have to go to your parents.
01:05:56You don't have to go to your parents.
01:05:59Because it's important.
01:06:05It's important to you.
01:06:12Kukai wrote a book called Sangoshiki.
01:06:16Sangoshiki is a comparison of the three teachings.
01:06:21Do you know that?
01:06:25He compared and analyzed the ideas other than Buddhism.
01:06:29That's why I think this is good.
01:06:33That's one of his most famous works.
01:06:37I think that's what it means to think about things.
01:06:43That's what Kukai's model is.
01:06:50In that case, you have to think about how far you can think.
01:06:57If you don't have three, you can't have four.
01:07:00Three teachings.
01:07:02Some people say you have to give more.
01:07:07Kukai said three was enough.
01:07:09However, Araki-san told me not to have multiple axes.
01:07:15That's what I'm hearing now.
01:07:19It's fundamentally different from the way of criticizing that you have two axes and three axes but no four axes.
01:07:33That may be so.
01:07:38That's what I felt.
01:07:42If you really think about it,
01:07:46if you don't look at things,
01:07:50you don't even understand yourself.
01:08:00If you don't understand the three, you don't understand yourself.
01:08:11Thank you.
01:08:42Yes.
01:08:44That's what I think.
01:08:46I'm not trying to make it up.
01:08:48I think you've noticed it.
01:08:51When I'm asked if there's anything I can say to people in that situation,
01:08:56I don't have anything.
01:09:01When I'm asked if there's anything I can do to guide people,
01:09:07I don't have anything overwhelmingly.
01:09:10I don't have much confidence in myself.
01:09:27I have two brothers and two sisters.
01:09:32My younger brother is five years old.
01:09:36He used to play soccer when he was young.
01:09:39He played soccer even when he was in high school.
01:09:43One day, my brother's leg was not in good condition.
01:09:53So he went to see a doctor.
01:09:56I think that's what happened at first.
01:09:59I didn't pay much attention to it.
01:10:03One time, when I got home from work,
01:10:09I asked my mother to take a look at my leg.
01:10:14She said it wasn't good.
01:10:19When the doctor examined my leg,
01:10:22he found that I had various symptoms.
01:10:26In addition to that,
01:10:34I also had a bone cancer.
01:10:37It was a very severe cancer.
01:10:41I think it was called osteomyelitis.
01:10:45It's very likely.
01:10:51Of course, it's not a definitive diagnosis yet.
01:10:55But it's a very early stage.
01:10:59That was when you were in the third year of college.
01:11:05My father was already in the hospital at that point.
01:11:10If he had been diagnosed with osteomyelitis,
01:11:17he would have had to have his leg amputated.
01:11:23That's what the doctor said.
01:11:29My mother and father were very upset.
01:11:40They only told us that they were diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:11:45We were just reading comics.
01:11:49Only the people around us heard about it.
01:11:55We didn't tell them what we knew,
01:11:59but they made us face it.
01:12:05I couldn't stand it.
01:12:09I don't remember much of that time.
01:12:13It was as if I was in a daze.
01:12:17I didn't know what to do.
01:12:22I didn't know what I could do.
01:12:25I didn't know what was right.
01:12:28I was very confused.
01:12:31When I was in high school,
01:12:35I started to think about philosophy and philosophy.
01:12:40I took classes like that when I was in college.
01:12:44I read books like that.
01:12:48But I couldn't do that at all.
01:12:54When I stood in front of my brother,
01:12:58I felt like I had nothing.
01:13:04I was shocked at how powerless I was.
01:13:11I was shocked at how powerless I was.
01:13:19In the beginning,
01:13:23I couldn't tell my brother that I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:13:29I was a little worried.
01:13:33I was waiting for the results of the test.
01:13:37I was worried about the results of the test.
01:13:47But I didn't have the courage to tell my brother.
01:13:57I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:14:02I don't know the details.
01:14:04I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:14:07I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:14:10I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:14:13You didn't have a doctor's appointment?
01:14:15I didn't have a doctor's appointment.
01:14:18I lived in a small house.
01:14:23I lived in a small house.
01:14:30I was able to return to my normal life.
01:14:36You were able to return to your normal life.
01:14:40I'm glad.
01:14:44My family is glad, too.
01:14:49I didn't tell my brother, but I'm glad.
01:14:58My family is glad, too.
01:15:07I was able to return to my normal life.
01:15:18I didn't think I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:15:23I didn't think I was diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
01:15:31I don't know why he was different,
01:15:36but I just didn't have the courage.
01:15:44It's possible that it was the same disease.
01:15:48It's possible that it was the same disease.
01:15:53It could be another disease, or an accident.
01:15:58It could be another disease, or an accident.
01:16:00I don't think there's any guarantee that I won't be able to see my family again.
01:16:11As long as I can see my family, nothing bad will happen.
01:16:20I'd like to get back to my normal life.
01:16:30I'd like to get back to my normal life.
01:16:38But I'm not used to it yet.
01:16:42When I hear bad things, I feel dizzy.
01:16:52I feel like I'm really dizzy.
01:16:57I can't get away from that question.
01:17:05I can't go back to my normal life.
01:17:25How did you get into the school?
01:17:29I went to school in November after finishing my master's degree.
01:17:37I came here today.
01:17:42When I went to the bookstore, there were a lot of books lined up.
01:17:49I thought, oh, it's him.
01:17:52I saw a few books.
01:17:56When I went to my friend's house later, he had a book there.
01:18:02When I asked him, he said he was a yoga practitioner.
01:18:12He said he was studying Buddhism.
01:18:20I didn't know what Buddhism was until then.
01:18:25I thought he was a Buddhist yoga practitioner.
01:18:33But I didn't care much about it.
01:18:38When I went to my friend's house, I saw a lot of books there.
01:18:48That's how I got into the school.
01:18:53To be honest, I didn't know much about it.
01:18:57I heard a lot of stories.
01:19:00I was told that if I had any questions, I could ask them.
01:19:06I asked a question.
01:19:08The person next to me asked me if I had any questions.
01:19:13I didn't want to go, but I asked him out of curiosity.
01:19:24I didn't know what to ask because I didn't know what he was talking about.
01:19:30It was a strange feeling.
01:19:33There was a person sitting about five meters ahead of me.
01:19:38He was riding a motorcycle.
01:19:41He was in the classroom.
01:19:43He was in front of you?
01:19:44Yes. He asked me to come in front of him if I had any questions.
01:19:47It was a strange feeling.
01:19:56He was sitting about five meters ahead of me.
01:20:00I couldn't get a sense of distance.
01:20:04I hesitated a lot.
01:20:07Before I came here, I hadn't thought about going to a religious center.
01:20:14I thought I could do without going to a religious center.
01:20:19I hesitated a lot.
01:20:25I hesitated a lot.
01:20:35I didn't want to go there because it had nothing to do with me.
01:20:46As I said earlier, I couldn't accept it.
01:20:54I felt it was unfair.
01:20:57I couldn't get rid of the image of his face in my head.
01:21:09I didn't have a good image of him.
01:21:15I didn't have a good image of him.
01:21:21I had an image of him being sucked into my thoughts.
01:21:32I couldn't get rid of that image.
01:21:35I was sucked into his thoughts.
01:21:40I was sucked into his thoughts.
01:21:44I was sucked into his thoughts for hours after I returned home.
01:21:50I don't know if it has anything to do with it.
01:21:55After I returned home, I felt like my desires were gone.
01:22:08I felt like my appetite and sexual desire were gone.
01:22:17From that day on, I felt like my desires were gone.
01:22:27I felt like my desires were gone.
01:22:30I couldn't move my mind.
01:22:35The biggest thing after that was my sensitivity.
01:22:43I changed a lot.
01:22:47To put it simply, I was suffering.
01:22:54Until then, I wasn't happy or looking forward to anything.
01:23:05I wasn't happy or looking forward to anything.
01:23:11I talked to people.
01:23:16I read books.
01:23:25I listened to music.
01:23:29I couldn't feel the joy and fulfillment that I used to feel.
01:23:42I felt more and more empty.
01:23:51As I said earlier, my physical changes due to my training and my parallel life have made me stronger.
01:24:04I lost my joy.
01:24:15When I train, I feel the most calm.
01:24:29What do you mean by training?
01:24:32At that time, I read books on yoga, breathing methods, and Buddhist sutras.
01:24:54My training was relatively easy.
01:25:03I think it was around that time that I changed my way of feeling.
01:25:22At that time, I couldn't live without risking my life.
01:25:38I couldn't live without risking my life.
01:25:49It's been 94 years since I changed my age.
01:25:59I don't have a choice in life anymore.
01:26:03I don't have anything else to do.
01:26:18It was hard for me to live in such a state.
01:26:24I thought I had no choice but to quit my job.
01:26:29I took it very seriously from the end of 1993 to the beginning of 1993.
01:26:38I thought it was no good.
01:26:42I thought I couldn't live in this world anymore.
01:27:12My name is Araki.
01:27:25My name is Sakaihara.
01:27:28My father's name is Sakaihara.
01:27:32My name is Takako.
01:27:42I don't think it's a religion.
01:27:52I don't think it's a religion.
01:27:59It's a so-called terrorism.
01:28:06It's basically hurting people's lives.
01:28:19That's why I had a hard time.
01:28:21Even now, I'm still doing it.
01:28:27The facts that have come out in various trials are basically from the perspective of Asahira Kyozo's disciples.
01:28:34It is said that it was all Kyozo's idea and Kyozo's will.
01:28:39However, it is not directly stated what this incident was from Kyozo's point of view.
01:28:49Asahira Kyozo is a man.
01:28:59I think he was a Kyozo.
01:29:04I think so.
01:29:16I think so.
01:29:19I think so.
01:29:22I think so.
01:29:25I think so.
01:29:28I think so.
01:29:31I think so.
01:29:34I think so.
01:29:37I think so.
01:29:40I think so.
01:29:43I think so.
01:29:46I think so.
01:29:49I think so.
01:29:52I think so.
01:29:55I think so.
01:29:58I think so.
01:30:01I think so.
01:30:04I think so.
01:30:07I think so.
01:30:10I think so.
01:30:13I think so.
01:30:16I think so.
01:30:19I think so.
01:30:22I think so.
01:30:25I think so.
01:30:28I think so.
01:30:31I think so.
01:30:34I think so.
01:30:37I think so.
01:30:40I think so.
01:30:43I think so.
01:30:46I think so.
01:30:49I think so.
01:30:52I think so.
01:30:55I think so.
01:30:58I think so.
01:31:01I think so.
01:31:04I think so.
01:31:07I think so.
01:31:10I think so.
01:31:13I think so.
01:31:16I think so.
01:31:19I think so.
01:31:22I think so.
01:31:25I think so.
01:31:28I think so.
01:31:31I think so.
01:31:34I think so.
01:31:37I think so.
01:31:40I think so.
01:31:43I think so.
01:31:46I think so.
01:31:49I think so.
01:31:52I think so.
01:31:55I think so.
01:31:58I think so.
01:32:01I think so.
01:32:04I think so.
01:32:07I think so.
01:32:10I think so.
01:32:13I think so.
01:32:16I think so.
01:32:19I think so.
01:32:22I think so.
01:32:25I think so.
01:32:28I think so.
01:32:31I think so.
01:32:34I think so.
01:32:37I think so.
01:32:40I think so.
01:32:43I think so.
01:32:46I think so.
01:32:49I think so.
01:32:52I think so.
01:32:55I think so.
01:32:58I think so.
01:33:01I think so.
01:33:04I think so.
01:33:07I think so.
01:33:10I think so.
01:33:13I think so.
01:33:16I'm sorry.
01:33:19I'm sorry.
01:33:22I'm sorry.
01:33:26I'm sorry.
01:33:30Well, the first time I spoke about it with you,
01:33:35I was expressing my sense of ignorance.
01:33:47I think that's one reason.
01:33:49The leader of the cult that I was a member of...
01:34:06...damaged Mr. Sakada.
01:34:13And...
01:34:17...my parents who raised me...
01:34:26...I can't stop them.
01:34:31That's how much I owe them.
01:34:38I've always been a part of that.
01:34:42Even now...
01:34:47...I'm still a part of it.
01:34:56I'm still a part of it.
01:35:02That's how I am.
01:35:12I'm still a part of it.
01:35:21I'm still a part of it.
01:35:28I'm still a part of it.
01:35:34I should have apologized.
01:35:37I should have apologized.
01:35:42I'm still a part of it.
01:36:05Is there anything you want to ask me?
01:36:13This is the hardest thing for me.
01:36:20The fact that you're here today, in front of your parents...
01:36:33...is one of your true...
01:36:36...responsibilities.
01:36:45If I were to say what my responsibility is...
01:36:48...I'd say that's where it all began.
01:36:51That's why I'm here today.
01:36:56But it was painful.
01:37:07What did you think when you met me?
01:37:20I can't leave even if we meet again.
01:37:23I can't.
01:37:25My existence...
01:37:28...I can't live with it in me.
01:37:32I can't live with it in me.
01:37:40Tomorrow...
01:37:44...please come see me.
01:37:50Why?
01:37:51Because I want you to see me.
01:38:01Ask me why.
01:38:02Because I think you'll understand what I'm going through.
01:38:14I'll think about it.
01:38:16I'll give you an answer.
01:38:18Until tomorrow morning.
01:38:22Okay?
01:38:27Let's go.
01:38:31Let's go.
01:38:50I'm still young.
01:38:55I went to Kyoto University.
01:38:58They told me I still had a long way to go.
01:39:04I asked my mom this morning.
01:39:09She said,
01:39:14I'm still young.
01:39:17I still have a long way to go.
01:39:28I still have a long way to go.
01:39:38This is my ex-wife.
01:39:49I've been holding her in my arms.
01:39:58I've been holding her in my arms.
01:40:05Well...
01:40:08...there is freedom of thought.
01:40:14I know that.
01:40:17I'm still young.
01:40:21I have to move on.
01:40:28I've been holding her in my arms.
01:40:33I've been holding her in my arms.
01:40:38I've been holding her in my arms.
01:40:42When she got divorced, I took all her photos, but only this one was left in my house.
01:41:02As I said, it's tough.
01:41:14I can't go back.
01:41:18I have to keep dragging her down.
01:41:29I can't tell anyone.
01:41:34When she got married to me, she said she couldn't get married to Japanese people anymore.
01:41:49I couldn't invite any of my friends to the wedding.
01:42:00It's tough for a woman.
01:42:03Even so, I have to keep dragging her down.
01:42:31I think a woman like her is suffering more than a man like me.
01:42:39She is lonely.
01:42:47Can you go to Orochi Garden?
01:43:00Yes.
01:43:02I'm going to see her.
01:43:22I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:43:26If you can, please stay overnight.
01:43:33Listen to me.
01:43:37Please sleep in your parents' bed.
01:43:57I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:44:11I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:44:41I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:45:11I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:45:31I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:45:41I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:45:51I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:46:01I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:46:11I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:46:21I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:46:31I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:46:41I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:46:51I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:47:01I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:47:11I'm going to Orochi Garden.
01:47:21How did you feel when you heard the news?
01:47:26The person who was directly affected by the earthquake was Mr. Takahara, who is sitting next to me today.
01:47:45During this time, I had a chance to talk with him.
01:47:55I had a chance to listen to various stories and see the victim up close for the first time.
01:48:15One of the victims said,
01:48:25I've been saving lives every minute and second.
01:48:37I lost my words to that.
01:48:44I want to continue to think about the victims and those who have passed away.
01:49:12That's why I had a fight with him.
01:49:19Why did you continue to fight even after 20 years?
01:49:34As you said, why now?
01:49:39I don't know.
01:49:44I don't know.
01:49:49I just want to tell you that I feel that way.
01:50:09Have you ever felt sorry for the victims?
01:50:18No, I haven't.
01:50:21I just feel sorry for them.
01:50:34Have you apologized to them?
01:50:47I think I will continue to live while bearing the burden.
01:51:09Thank you very much.
01:51:18Thank you very much.
01:51:30I didn't hear you say,
01:51:33I didn't hear you say,
01:51:37I didn't hear you say,
01:51:40I didn't hear you say,
01:51:44I didn't hear you say,
01:51:46I didn't hear you say,
01:52:15I don't know you.
01:52:22Smile, with your smile
01:52:31Change the world for me
01:52:39Cry, someday
01:52:48With tears of joy
01:52:57I opened my heart
01:53:05To my mother
01:53:13Smile, with your smile
01:53:22Change the world for me